FabSwingers.com forum: Checking your partners phone!

By *ucksuck OP Man
over a year ago

dubdrum

Like many people on here I have a partner. I love them very much but there is ZERO sex, not by my choice. They say they’re just not into sex, period. I would suspect that deep down they know I find sex elsewhere but it has never been discussed

Over the last while I’ve become suspicious of their texting and tonight checked their phone. It confirmed what I thought. They were texting & exchanging pictures with their ex who now lives abroad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you have kids together?

Obviously it's only one side of the story but I think you two need a chat; doesn't seem like a relationship worth being in.

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By *horecruxCouple
over a year ago

SE4

Wow...

So you freely get to play the field and you are upset your ex has started contacting her old flame ???

Aww...

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Talk to her, tell her what you know, tell her you're on here and get everything out in the open. It's got to be better than the status quo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't say "confronting" them is the best idea where you are not exactly innocent yourself. I'd suggest you need to sit down and have a serious discussion about your relationship and what you both want from it.

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By *ucksuck OP Man
over a year ago

dubdrum

Nope no kids

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By *horecruxCouple
over a year ago

SE4

"Nope no kids"

Then why stick around financial? just enjoy having your washing done?

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By *ucksuck OP Man
over a year ago

dubdrum

“Her” is a him

I’m not trying to make excuses for my infidelity but I’m on here due to his lack of sexual interest. And to be honest I never really believed that was true and it’s somewhat borne out.

Sex aside, the relationship is really good & we do love each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You seem to blame her for the lack of sex and then justify your cheating as being a direct result of her actions.

And then are pissed at her for doing the same?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As harsh as it is you live by the sword you die by the sword

You cant moan and gripe at her for sending a few messages and pics when you have been seeking sex elsewhere

So its ok for you to play the field but not her?

Call me cynical but it soumds to me like you want your cake and to eat it

Sorry if it isn't what you want to hear

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

Perhaps they’ve checked your phone previously and seen what you’re up to and that’s why they’re now flirting with their ex. Double standards can be a real bitch, eh?

Lou x

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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

I think you need to start communicating with him and find out where his head is at. There maybe reasons why he's not interested in sex and why he's been messaging his ex. You have to listen and given that you're on here without his knowledge decide what you actually want!

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By *uperGuy68Man
over a year ago

Southampton

There you go assuming it was a her and her job was to do the washing....typecasting women....tut tut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sex aside, the relationship is really good & we do love each other"

So the complete lack of trust isnlt an issue?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn't it funny how we can always find ways to justify our own actions, then get indignant when we are treated in the same way?

Time for an honest conversation for a change perhaps.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Sorry op. Your on here due to lack of sex. Maybe shes texting them because she isnt feeling loved or insecure because she knows your getting sex elsewhere. Doesnt sound as though there is much conmunication in your relationship

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Hes not shes

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By *parkle13Woman
over a year ago

Dundee

"“Her” is a him

I’m not trying to make excuses for my infidelity but I’m on here due to his lack of sexual interest. And to be honest I never really believed that was true and it’s somewhat borne out.

Sex aside, the relationship is really good & we do love each other"

It's never gonna work.if ur not getting what u want at home .sorry ...

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

If you think it is a relationship worth saving, you need to sit and talk about where it went wrong and how you can resolve it. I wish you luck

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

A relationship with no trust, no communication and no intimacy is fucked unless you are both prepared to address your issues and work together to try to resolve them.

You can stick your heads in the sand and float along as you are but is this fulfilling for either of you?

Bite the bullet and either try to make it work, or have the balls and honesty to get out of your comfort zone and walk away.

Good luck.

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By *horecruxCouple
over a year ago

SE4

"There you go assuming it was a her and her job was to do the washing....typecasting women....tut tut

Yes I assumed it was a her ...

But any gender can do the washing whilst you are out getting your fill and you can have a real in depth convo when the spin cycle is going

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Talk to her, tell her what you know, tell her you're on here and get everything out in the open. It's got to be better than the status quo. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn't spying on your partner by checking their phone now defined as abuse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow...

So you freely get to play the field and you are upset your ex has started contacting her old flame ???

Aww..."

double standards springs to mind

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Talk to him, find out what the problem is....it could all end in disaster if you don’t sort it out.

Also why is he being blamed for everything?

There is a saying my late mum used to say.....’it takes two to Tango’!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there are sites where you can enter someones number and read all their texts , scary ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm so you can fuck around from here or anywhere else but they cant flirt and send a picture to someone you say lives abroad but you get all pissed off sounds to me neither of you are happy and both should go your own way when it gets to checking phone stage its over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and there is nothing wrong with being in touch with an ex , they can still be part of your life , some of mine are still pals , the secrecy and not communicating is the problem , tit for tat and using it as an excuse is wrong , and why arnt you satisfying her , but going elsewhere , dont you fancy her anymore ?

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By *igertigerCouple (MM)
over a year ago

cc hotel

"Like many people on here I have a partner. I love them very much but there is ZERO sex, not by my choice. They say they’re just not into sex, period. I would suspect that deep down they know I find sex elsewhere but it has never been discussed

Over the last while I’ve become suspicious of their texting and tonight checked their phone. It confirmed what I thought. They were texting & exchanging pictures with their ex who now lives abroad.

male of female partner?

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By *igertigerCouple (MM)
over a year ago

cc hotel

"“Her” is a him

I’m not trying to make excuses for my infidelity but I’m on here due to his lack of sexual interest. And to be honest I never really believed that was true and it’s somewhat borne out.

Sex aside, the relationship is really good & we do love each other"

were the texts of a sexual nature? how long have you been together?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You're both leading double lives. Either continue as you are, plenty do, or get it out in the open and move forward honestly. The choice is yours alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"there are sites where you can enter someones number and read all their texts , scary ???"

Lucky I don't know of such a site be hard not to type in a number or two

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're right. It is hypocritical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This happened to a former co worker.... before when fraternizing was allowed in the office....

This guy would have affairs with all the pretty interns for the summer.... I saw him hook up with at least ten women....

One night during Christmas holidays, he invites me out for a drink... he then tells me he found out his wife was cheating on him with her personal trainer...

He felt so betrayed and was devastated... me being the good friend advised him to forgive her... I told him he have cheated 10 times and she had done it only once... so he is 9 girls ahead in the cheating game....

He then proceeded to call me crazy... His logic was men cheated just to have sex and women cheat to have a emotional bond... so her cheating was much worse than his...

Moral of the story......

People who cheat never think they are wrong....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over the last while I’ve become suspicious of their texting and tonight checked their phone. It confirmed what I thought. They were texting & exchanging pictures with their ex who now lives abroad.

Well tech you also braking the trust, so it's a hard or to say but I'd say sit down and talk but you can't say I know your flirting with your ex without admitting what your doing as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Isn't spying on your partner by checking their phone now defined as abuse?"

Think is domestic abuse know but only ifyouriseing software to do it , not picking the phone up and looking.

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

Sex aside, the relationship is really good & we do love each other"

Doesn’t this just make you good friends? I never understood people who value/enjoy/need sex so much or are kinky/have fantasies/desires that they are on a site like this to fulfill them but stay in relationships where this vital nugget is not there- is it really still “partner love” or just “friendly love”?

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

Don’t take it personally op her ex was probably better with his knob don’t worry about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over the last while I’ve become suspicious of their texting and tonight checked their phone. It confirmed what I thought. They were texting & exchanging pictures with their ex who now lives abroad.

I know it’s the height of hypocrisy but I’m really hurt and upset by it, mainly as it is their decision to have zero sex. Should I confront them & risk my infidelity being brought up along with the now clearly broken trust? Or should I just accept it is what it is?"
trust isn't involved you've broken that one my friend and many are still friendly with their exs or even still love them, I think you both should move on personally but not my call your lives

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

Can we establish - is the ex male or female?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can we establish - is the ex male or female?"

Will that make a difference to the answers the OP gets? I love how the OP said 'they'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over the last while I’ve become suspicious of their texting and tonight checked their phone. It confirmed what I thought. They were texting & exchanging pictures with their ex who now lives abroad.

Can you continue the relationship with no sex but knowing that you can both fuck other people?

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By *ucksuck OP Man
over a year ago

dubdrum

All parties are male

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Sorry but if sounds like neither of you are particularly happy with the situation you are in. One of you acting upon it more than the other.

Can you now imagine how he would feel if he found your profile on here?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Can we establish - is the ex male or female?"

It's been established several times by the OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex aside, the relationship is really good & we do love each other

There are many reasons why people stay. Apathy, financial reasons, not wanting to be alone, keeping up the pretence of a relationship in order not to lose face socially, fear of what people will think/say, fear of losing custody of kids if there are any, not wanting to be the bad guy by initiating the break-up.....

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"A relationship with no trust, no communication and no intimacy is fucked unless you are both prepared to address your issues and work together to try to resolve them.

You can stick your heads in the sand and float along as you are but is this fulfilling for either of you?

Bite the bullet and either try to make it work, or have the balls and honesty to get out of your comfort zone and walk away.

Good luck.

From experience, once the trust has gone its very hard to get it back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A relationship with no trust, no communication and no intimacy is fucked unless you are both prepared to address your issues and work together to try to resolve them.

You can stick your heads in the sand and float along as you are but is this fulfilling for either of you?

Bite the bullet and either try to make it work, or have the balls and honesty to get out of your comfort zone and walk away.

Good luck.

From experience, once the trust has gone its very hard to get it back."

Exactly this!

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

So the OP is advertising for strangers to have their cocks sucked by him and to piss on him, yet he's upset because his partner is texting his ex?

I mean, come on.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Peoples double standards never fail to amaze me here.

Either have the chat and get it all out in the open,or leave .

You cheating might be why he's in touch with his ex,people often know these things instinctively.

Either way try and do the right thing for him and you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over the last while I’ve become suspicious of their texting and tonight checked their phone. It confirmed what I thought. They were texting & exchanging pictures with their ex who now lives abroad.

Confront or shut up? If you shut up you will always be tempted to bring it up every time you argue. Confront and get it out in the open, at least then you can be on here legitimately.

Does she know that you have been on here for the last seven months with the intention of cheating on her? How does that feel?

Does she know that you like to suck cock, eat ass, get used & get pissed on.

Who is the one cheating really?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What goes around comes around and unfortunately u have learned that but I hope you can sort it out and move on and be happy

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By *horecruxCouple
over a year ago

SE4

"So the OP is advertising for strangers to have their cocks sucked by him and to piss on him, yet he's upset because his partner is texting his ex?

I mean, come on. "

Haha but that's unemotional

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"So the OP is advertising for strangers to have their cocks sucked by him and to piss on him, yet he's upset because his partner is texting his ex?

I mean, come on.

Haha but that's unemotional

I am reminded of the joke about the definition of chutzpah. . A man who kills both his parents and then asks the court for mercy because he is an orphan...

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