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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

.. hear ‘Uptown Funk’ I sing FunkyPigeon.com (it’s the same tune), unless it’s just me.

Whenever I see my workmate, i always greet him with ‘So, we meet again !’, like he’s my mortal enemy and we’re just about to do battle.

Whenever I am in the supermarket, at the checkout and they ask if I found everything I neeeded, I always say ‘No, you didn’t have the speedboat I was after!’ It’s usually greeted with a blank expression.

What random shit do you do ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my daughter says ‘I’m hungry’ I reply with ‘Hello hungry, I’m Daddy’

Never gets old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not so much anymore but when my son used to say 'can you put my shoes on' i would always reply with 'why should i? They won't fit me'

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Random shit? I read your love letters to Bananaman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often do Mick Jagger impressions when lying down.

I greet friends by saying “greetings”

I sometimes put on an Italian accent and say “what a mistaka to maka” when i’ve cocked something up - you can blame Allo Allo for that.

I ask my sons to give me a hand with something as they’re my only hope, it works better than a straight forward request.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Random shit? I read your love letters to Bananaman "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not so much anymore but when my son used to say 'can you put my shoes on' i would always reply with 'why should i? They won't fit me'"

I do that with the kettle

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Random shit? I read your love letters to Bananaman "

He reads the ones I send to you !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ask my mum to put the kettle on and she comes back with “it won’t fit” every time

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

After I do a big yawn I say ‘golly gosh Rosemary’

It’s a family thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I call my husband ‘dad’ in public even though he’s only four years older than me and looks four years younger than me. I used to do it because I loved the confused expression of whoever heard, but it really embarrasses one of my younger sisters, to the point that my whole family now call him dad in public.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I often do Mick Jagger impressions when lying down.

I greet friends by saying “greetings”

I sometimes put on an Italian accent and say “what a mistaka to maka” when i’ve cocked something up - you can blame Allo Allo for that.

I ask my sons to give me a hand with something as they’re my only hope, it works better than a straight forward request.

"

Haha, if I see someone with a beer with loads of froth I say ‘Want a flake with that mate ?’ in an Australian accent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone: ‘I need a wee’

Me: ‘weeeeeeee’

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I ask my mum to put the kettle on and she comes back with “it won’t fit” every time "

She should take material like that on the road.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sing nursery rhymes if I’m really tired.

I do a lot of ‘dad jokes’. For example ‘I’m hungry’ ‘oh well I’m .... nice to meet you!’

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"I call my husband ‘dad’ in public even though he’s only four years older than me and looks four years younger than me. I used to do it because I loved the confused expression of whoever heard, but it really embarrasses one of my younger sisters, to the point that my whole family now call him dad in public.

"

Annie, I'm Not Your Daddy - Kid Creole & The Coconuts

www.youtube.com/watch?v=elmSBREviA0

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I call my husband ‘dad’ in public even though he’s only four years older than me and looks four years younger than me. I used to do it because I loved the confused expression of whoever heard, but it really embarrasses one of my younger sisters, to the point that my whole family now call him dad in public.

Annie, I'm Not Your Daddy - Kid Creole & The Coconuts

www.youtube.com/watch?v=elmSBREviA0"

Now listening to it!

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

When I'm buying a hot dog from a burger van and they ask if want anything on it, I always ask for dijon vous mustard.

When they ask what it is I reply "it's a mustard I've had before".

Usually greeted with a blank expression.

I also spotted a spelling mistake on their menu and mentioned it to some friends. Who all made a point of visiting the van and asking specifically for what it said on the menu.

I can't imagine how long that took to get old for the burger van bloke.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I'm buying a hot dog from a burger van and they ask if want anything on it, I always ask for dijon vous mustard.

When they ask what it is I reply "it's a mustard I've had before".

Usually greeted with a blank expression.

I also spotted a spelling mistake on their menu and mentioned it to some friends. Who all made a point of visiting the van and asking specifically for what it said on the menu.

I can't imagine how long that took to get old for the burger van bloke."

That’s to high brow humour for a burger van !

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East


"

What random shit do you do ?

"

Reading this and trying to get 'Mouldy Old Dough" by Lieutenant Pigeon out my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I call my husband ‘dad’ in public even though he’s only four years older than me and looks four years younger than me. I used to do it because I loved the confused expression of whoever heard, but it really embarrasses one of my younger sisters, to the point that my whole family now call him dad in public.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I call my husband ‘dad’ in public even though he’s only four years older than me and looks four years younger than me. I used to do it because I loved the confused expression of whoever heard, but it really embarrasses one of my younger sisters, to the point that my whole family now call him dad in public.

"

Family dinners are amazing. My mum, dad, sister, brother, cousins, grandparents all join in. Even my auntie and uncle, and my uncle used to despise him (purely because he’s four years older and I was young when we got together. He loves him now).

My poor younger sister is 15 and very easily embarrassed

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I call my husband ‘dad’ in public even though he’s only four years older than me and looks four years younger than me. I used to do it because I loved the confused expression of whoever heard, but it really embarrasses one of my younger sisters, to the point that my whole family now call him dad in public.

"
mmmm i may or may not be guilty of explaining to someone that my partner was my dad and he was having a day out from the nursing home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I call my husband ‘dad’ in public even though he’s only four years older than me and looks four years younger than me. I used to do it because I loved the confused expression of whoever heard, but it really embarrasses one of my younger sisters, to the point that my whole family now call him dad in public.

mmmm i may or may not be guilty of explaining to someone that my partner was my dad and he was having a day out from the nursing home "

Oh! I can’t go shopping with my actual dad because he calls me Mum and screams ‘stranger danger’ at me and runs away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also always respond to questions behinning with 'Why....' by saying 'Y is a crooked letter' which is what my dad always used to say to me

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By *lanPartridgeMan
over a year ago

nottingham

Whenever someone asks me what's on telly? I say a piece of volcanic lava - cos I have a piece from Reykjavik.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"When I'm buying a hot dog from a burger van and they ask if want anything on it, I always ask for dijon vous mustard.

When they ask what it is I reply "it's a mustard I've had before".

Usually greeted with a blank expression.

I also spotted a spelling mistake on their menu and mentioned it to some friends. Who all made a point of visiting the van and asking specifically for what it said on the menu.

I can't imagine how long that took to get old for the burger van bloke.

That’s to high brow humour for a burger van ! "

They're a tough crowd.....

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By *exyspecs and supermanCouple
over a year ago

A house, a very big house in the country

When asked by my eldest what day it is...I'll reply..'it's Sunday..All day's

My mother used to say this to me

Ss

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By *exyspecs and supermanCouple
over a year ago

A house, a very big house in the country


"When asked by my eldest what day it is...I'll reply..'it's Sunday..All day'

My mother used to say this to me

Ss"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t say the word city without saying scum after it think it was being brought up in a houseful of United fans !

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway


".. hear ‘Uptown Funk’ I sing FunkyPigeon.com (it’s the same tune), unless it’s just me. "

I always break into the ‘Uptown Funk Macarena’ the beat fits the dance perfectly just speed it up. I’m not sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whenever friends say they're off to the spa for a facial I snigger.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I'm buying a hot dog from a burger van and they ask if want anything on it, I always ask for dijon vous mustard.

When they ask what it is I reply "it's a mustard I've had before".

Usually greeted with a blank expression.

I also spotted a spelling mistake on their menu and mentioned it to some friends. Who all made a point of visiting the van and asking specifically for what it said on the menu.

I can't imagine how long that took to get old for the burger van bloke.

That’s to high brow humour for a burger van !

They're a tough crowd..... "

Dumb it down a bit. Just say that sausage in that hot dog looks like a cock, they’ll fall about !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whenever I’m in Piccadilly Circus I have to stand next to the sign next to the tube station and say it’s like Piccadilly Circus round here

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

The local shed company offers free erections...and the local sailing school suggests we can all enjoy water sports

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me: Can you give me a hand please?

My son: Left or Right?

We've done that joke as long as I can remember.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I call Queen Leviosa's husband Hubby.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I call Queen Leviosa's husband Hubby. "

She does, it’s like we share him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I call Queen Leviosa's husband Hubby.

She does, it’s like we share him "

We shall Wifey. We shall.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I call Queen Leviosa's husband Hubby.

She does, it’s like we share him

We shall Wifey. We shall. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Whenever I’m in Piccadilly Circus I have to stand next to the sign next to the tube station and say it’s like Piccadilly Circus round here "

At last!! Someone with my sense of humour That one's got me written all over it

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Talk to the dash cam

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Whenever I’m in Piccadilly Circus I have to stand next to the sign next to the tube station and say it’s like Piccadilly Circus round here "

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman
over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby


".. hear ‘Uptown Funk’ I sing FunkyPigeon.com (it’s the same tune), unless it’s just me.

Whenever I see my workmate, i always greet him with ‘So, we meet again !’, like he’s my mortal enemy and we’re just about to do battle.

Whenever I am in the supermarket, at the checkout and they ask if I found everything I neeeded, I always say ‘No, you didn’t have the speedboat I was after!’ It’s usually greeted with a blank expression.

What random shit do you do ?

"

Different tune. Funky Pigeon was composed by a guy who lives near Coventry, he does loads of music for ads etc

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