FabSwingers.com forum: Penis and pussy jokes thread

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Two millipedes got married. Whilst on honey moon the male millipede said excuse me where is your pussy.

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

I would tell you a joke about my penis....

But it’s far too long......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a 12 inch cock... But I don't use it as a rule!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friend of mine swallowed some tippex last night. He Woke up with a massive correction.

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By *ubble1959Couple
over a year ago

Huntingdon

Mate of mine hired an Eastern European girl as a cleaner.

Took her 10 hours to hoover his 1 bedroom flat.

Turns out she was a Slovak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A young farmhand cuts his finger quite badly and goes to show the farmer. The farmer tells him the best way to fix it is to shove the damaged digit up a cow's arse.

A little dubious the farmhand goes into the dairy where he comes across the milkmaid.

"What are you doing here?" she asks to which the farmhand tells her the farmer's instructions.

"That doesn't seem very nice", she says, "I'll tell you what, why not shove it up my arse instead?", and with that she bends over and lifts up her skirts.

After a moment's fumbling the milkmaid gives out a squeal, "That's not my arse", she cries.

"I know, that's not my finger".

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

I was given the choice of a massive cock or a great memory..

I can't remember w hat I chose.

And a pussy joke ..

"G'Day mate, Aussie help line here..........What's the problem,.... Cobber?"

"I'm in Darwin with my Sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp, and now her pussy has completely closed up."

"Bummer, mate...!!!"

"Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that. Bye."

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

A man stands in front of the mirror and says to his wife: "Everytime I look at myself, I get a hard-on!"

Wife replies: "That's because you look like a c**t”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ann and Sue having coffe together. Sue has a bunch of red roses.

Ann says to her " what beautiful roses you have"!

Sue replies " yes, my boyfriend gave them to me! Now I will have to spend the weekend with my legs in the air"!

Ann replies " why? Have you not got a vase"?

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

I'm trying to finish off writing a script for a porn movie, but there are just far too many holes in the plot.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A family of prostitutes,granny,mother & daughter.

The daughter comes in & says I only got £20 to give a punter a blow job,her mother says when I was your age I'd of got £10 & been greatfull,her granny said in my day I'd have been gratefull for a warm drink on a cold night!

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By *ingAlMan
over a year ago

hereford

Dick Green was in church when a strange feeling came over him, he stood up on the pew dropped his trousers and exposed himself in front of the congregation, an old lady says ''is that Dick Green?'' her friend says '' no its the way the light shines through the stained glass window''

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By *ingAlMan
over a year ago

hereford

Married couple in bed, wife says seductively ''I've just shaved myself down below, you know what that means'' he says yes the drains will be blocked tomorrow''.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do cocks have holes in them.

So men can be open minded

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What did the left nut say to the right nut...

Don't talk to the middle he is a dick... Boom boom!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Morning...

What's the difference between a g-spot and a golf ball?

A man will go searching for a golf ball.

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

I woman phoned me last night an said “Come on over, there’s nobody home....”

She was right I went over and there was nobody home.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do women have legs?

Seen the mess snails make?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What did the penis say to the Vaginas

Do you come here often.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No pussy jokes. No pussy jokes PERIOD.

no period jokes either you might ovary act

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No pussy jokes. No pussy jokes PERIOD.

no period jokes either you might ovary act

Like hell u just sent me 2

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Want some more....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sex is like Mcdonalds... I'm loving it. Sex is like subway eat fresh.

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By *ingAlMan
over a year ago

hereford

An early form of tampax has been discovered, but they don't know which period its from

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By *veready69Man
over a year ago

PLYMOUTH

[Removed by poster at 03/09/18 00:12:17]

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By *veready69Man
over a year ago

PLYMOUTH

"[Removed by poster at 03/09/18 00:12:17]"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kind of a penis joke,why did the Tele tubbies go to the toilet together?because there was only one Tinky Winky

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