Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to The Lounge |
Jump to newest |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Thought please lovely people. Thankyou kindly" she's over the hill now, it's all about money | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hows can you be in a swingers site and call anyone a whore...? I've googled her and her pics look sexy keep having fin they are only pics..." It’s not a reference to the pop star Madonna it’s a reference to the mother of Jesus. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Broadly speaking, my understanding is that *some* people see women as broadly two types of sexual being - the 'good' (Madonna), 'respectable' etc, whatever those terms might mean … the sort of woman they'd be happy to settle down with, and the 'bad' (whore) which generally means women who unashamedly own their sexuality. This attitude has been around *forever*, as typified by women who freely enjoy sex and who typically have lots of encounters being called slags and similar. On here …. unbelievably, and hypocritically (by those who subscribe to this outdated view) it's an attitude which still crops up from time to time. For example, threads where men confess they'd never have a relationship with a woman from Fab - but of course they're okay to fuck in the meantime until they meet their own Madonna " I’ve noticed it a lot on this site - especially in status updates of people who aren’t getting meets! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Broadly speaking, my understanding is that *some* people see women as broadly two types of sexual being - the 'good' (Madonna), 'respectable' etc, whatever those terms might mean … the sort of woman they'd be happy to settle down with, and the 'bad' (whore) which generally means women who unashamedly own their sexuality. This attitude has been around *forever*, as typified by women who freely enjoy sex and who typically have lots of encounters being called slags and similar. On here …. unbelievably, and hypocritically (by those who subscribe to this outdated view) it's an attitude which still crops up from time to time. For example, threads where men confess they'd never have a relationship with a woman from Fab - but of course they're okay to fuck in the meantime until they meet their own Madonna omg not good I think you will find many women subscribe to the same philosophy " I don't disagree at all that some women are all too quick to call others whores But on the 'would you have a relationship with a Fab woman?' type threads it is of course (a minority of) men who usually respond with a Madonna/whore attitude. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hows can you be in a swingers site and call anyone a whore...? I've googled her and her pics look sexy keep having fin they are only pics... It’s not a reference to the pop star Madonna it’s a reference to the mother of Jesus. " Or is it the fallen Madonna with the big boobies.....allo allo...x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Broadly speaking, my understanding is that *some* people see women as broadly two types of sexual being - the 'good' (Madonna), 'respectable' etc, whatever those terms might mean … the sort of woman they'd be happy to settle down with, and the 'bad' (whore) which generally means women who unashamedly own their sexuality. This attitude has been around *forever*, as typified by women who freely enjoy sex and who typically have lots of encounters being called slags and similar. On here …. unbelievably, and hypocritically (by those who subscribe to this outdated view) it's an attitude which still crops up from time to time. For example, threads where men confess they'd never have a relationship with a woman from Fab - but of course they're okay to fuck in the meantime until they meet their own Madonna " ah thank you! That makes it very clear. Doesn’t the old saying go that men want a ‘lady’ in public and a ‘whore’ in the bedroom!? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Broadly speaking, my understanding is that *some* people see women as broadly two types of sexual being - the 'good' (Madonna), 'respectable' etc, whatever those terms might mean … the sort of woman they'd be happy to settle down with, and the 'bad' (whore) which generally means women who unashamedly own their sexuality. This attitude has been around *forever*, as typified by women who freely enjoy sex and who typically have lots of encounters being called slags and similar. On here …. unbelievably, and hypocritically (by those who subscribe to this outdated view) it's an attitude which still crops up from time to time. For example, threads where men confess they'd never have a relationship with a woman from Fab - but of course they're okay to fuck in the meantime until they meet their own Madonna " And then they are back out seeking illicit sex with the 'whores' as their 'madonna' doesn't satisfy their needs | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think there's a pace to romantic relationships. If there's great chemistry and you can't stop from fucking each other on the first date that's one thing. But if you're only just getting to know each other and she offers sex it could feel a bit cheap and jumping the gun somewhat. A woman who gives out that easily could be perceived as offering less value and, in turn, having a more flippant devaluing view of your own intimacy. When people fall in love they like to feel it's special. If it feels like you're just one in the queue it might cause you to question whether it really is special. And a little thought like that, early on in getting to know someone, can be the end of things." On this sex site, the perception of giving it too easily shouldn't apply, yet I still get mails saying 'at last, a woman who doesn't want to sleep with the whole site'. In a relationship, if we don't 'give it' soon enough, we are frigid, cock teasers. Sex still remains judgemental to some. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think there's a pace to romantic relationships. If there's great chemistry and you can't stop from fucking each other on the first date that's one thing. But if you're only just getting to know each other and she offers sex it could feel a bit cheap and jumping the gun somewhat. A woman who gives out that easily could be perceived as offering less value and, in turn, having a more flippant devaluing view of your own intimacy. When people fall in love they like to feel it's special. If it feels like you're just one in the queue it might cause you to question whether it really is special. And a little thought like that, early on in getting to know someone, can be the end of things." A few things jump out to me from your post "if she offers sex it could feel cheap" "A woman that gives out easily perceived as less value" " just one in a queue" Can you see how it might look like you perceive sex as a transaction, something to be bargained with.. withheld or given. The same woman could fuck you on the first night or wait three months, it's the same woman with the same emotions and feelings and values, but she might just have felt like it on the first evening ,as she didn't see sex as something to withhold or give to manipulate a relationship ... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think there's a pace to romantic relationships. If there's great chemistry and you can't stop from fucking each other on the first date that's one thing. But if you're only just getting to know each other and she offers sex it could feel a bit cheap and jumping the gun somewhat. A woman who gives out that easily could be perceived as offering less value and, in turn, having a more flippant devaluing view of your own intimacy. When people fall in love they like to feel it's special. If it feels like you're just one in the queue it might cause you to question whether it really is special. And a little thought like that, early on in getting to know someone, can be the end of things. On this sex site, the perception of giving it too easily shouldn't apply, yet I still get mails saying 'at last, a woman who doesn't want to sleep with the whole site'. In a relationship, if we don't 'give it' soon enough, we are frigid, cock teasers. Sex still remains judgemental to some." I guess what I'm getting at is that, in a romantic relationship, sex is supposed to be special, different. Like Dan said earlier, I think most men's ideal woman would be a "lady" in public and a "whore" in the bedroom. But there is a perceived value to having made it past a woman's selection criteria. If there is no such criteria it can all feel rather "easy come, easy go". And in a romantic setting that can be a bit too disenchanting for some. There is also a sense, for me, of putting the cart before the horse. In a romantic relationship sex should be at the apex of the intimacy pyramid. When you take it off that throne I wonder if you don't slightly take the wind out of the sails of a romantic relationship. Dunno Just thinking out loud in my usual way | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Broadly speaking, my understanding is that *some* people see women as broadly two types of sexual being - the 'good' (Madonna), 'respectable' etc, whatever those terms might mean … the sort of woman they'd be happy to settle down with, and the 'bad' (whore) which generally means women who unashamedly own their sexuality. This attitude has been around *forever*, as typified by women who freely enjoy sex and who typically have lots of encounters being called slags and similar. On here …. unbelievably, and hypocritically (by those who subscribe to this outdated view) it's an attitude which still crops up from time to time. For example, threads where men confess they'd never have a relationship with a woman from Fab - but of course they're okay to fuck in the meantime until they meet their own Madonna omg not good I think you will find many women subscribe to the same philosophy I don't disagree at all that some women are all too quick to call others whores But on the 'would you have a relationship with a Fab woman?' type threads it is of course (a minority of) men who usually respond with a Madonna/whore attitude." My point was that many women who comment about relationships in forums say they would never date a guy from fab but this is life we are real people going about real lives in the real world, what happens here is life | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What I don't get is why people can't see that the Madonna/whore can be the same person? It is all about balance. Everyone shows different facets of themselves to different people in different situations. The person who sits down to dinner with their kids is still the same person having a 3sum in a club. We show and hide parts of ourselves as necessary. The problem comes when people do not apply the same rules to others that they do for themselves... Rant over " I take the Madonna/whore thing to relate more to how a woman comes across. Perhaps a better way to phrase it is refined/slapper. The refined woman withholds her sexuality until the man has met her selection criteria. The slapper will shag anything with a pulse. I'd hazard a guess that few women on Fab are slappers. But Fab itself is a bit of a slapper website. So there's a degree of getting slighted by association... and that works for both genders. So I too come across as a bit of a slapper merely by being on here. Even though I assure you I'm not. I think most men would love to have a relationship with a refined woman who, in the bedroom, was actually a real kinky goer. But what the Madonna/whore complex refers to is the double standard that guys are happy fucking slappers but would rather date women with a higher selection criteria. Am I digging a massive grave here? Haha | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Stepping away now biting my tongue x Does it hurt " Haha most definitely | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What I don't get is why people can't see that the Madonna/whore can be the same person? It is all about balance. Everyone shows different facets of themselves to different people in different situations. The person who sits down to dinner with their kids is still the same person having a 3sum in a club. We show and hide parts of ourselves as necessary. The problem comes when people do not apply the same rules to others that they do for themselves... Rant over " Freud said that they can't. Men simply cannot see a woman as both. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What I don't get is why people can't see that the Madonna/whore can be the same person? It is all about balance. Everyone shows different facets of themselves to different people in different situations. The person who sits down to dinner with their kids is still the same person having a 3sum in a club. We show and hide parts of ourselves as necessary. The problem comes when people do not apply the same rules to others that they do for themselves... Rant over Freud said that they can't. Men simply cannot see a woman as both." I am perfectly capable of seeing women of both. I treat people much the same in the real world but am perfectly capable of modifying that relationship behind closed doors...or under the table | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What I don't get is why people can't see that the Madonna/whore can be the same person? It is all about balance. Everyone shows different facets of themselves to different people in different situations. The person who sits down to dinner with their kids is still the same person having a 3sum in a club. We show and hide parts of ourselves as necessary. The problem comes when people do not apply the same rules to others that they do for themselves... Rant over Freud said that they can't. Men simply cannot see a woman as both. I am perfectly capable of seeing women of both. I treat people much the same in the real world but am perfectly capable of modifying that relationship behind closed doors...or under the table" Is your wife on here? Would you be happy for her to be on here? Treated like a free whore by endless braindead men? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What I don't get is why people can't see that the Madonna/whore can be the same person? It is all about balance. Everyone shows different facets of themselves to different people in different situations. The person who sits down to dinner with their kids is still the same person having a 3sum in a club. We show and hide parts of ourselves as necessary. The problem comes when people do not apply the same rules to others that they do for themselves... Rant over Freud said that they can't. Men simply cannot see a woman as both." and women cannot see men in the same way | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"... Treated like a free whore by endless braindead men? " You should work in Marketing. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What I don't get is why people can't see that the Madonna/whore can be the same person? It is all about balance. Everyone shows different facets of themselves to different people in different situations. The person who sits down to dinner with their kids is still the same person having a 3sum in a club. We show and hide parts of ourselves as necessary. The problem comes when people do not apply the same rules to others that they do for themselves... Rant over I take the Madonna/whore thing to relate more to how a woman comes across. Perhaps a better way to phrase it is refined/slapper. The refined woman withholds her sexuality until the man has met her selection criteria. The slapper will shag anything with a pulse. I'd hazard a guess that few women on Fab are slappers. But Fab itself is a bit of a slapper website. So there's a degree of getting slighted by association... and that works for both genders. So I too come across as a bit of a slapper merely by being on here. Even though I assure you I'm not. I think most men would love to have a relationship with a refined woman who, in the bedroom, was actually a real kinky goer. But what the Madonna/whore complex refers to is the double standard that guys are happy fucking slappers but would rather date women with a higher selection criteria. Am I digging a massive grave here? Haha " yes. You come across as wanting to manipulate a relationship and hold all the power as regards sex As something to be bargained with by giving or withholding sex | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? " It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What I don't get is why people can't see that the Madonna/whore can be the same person? It is all about balance. Everyone shows different facets of themselves to different people in different situations. The person who sits down to dinner with their kids is still the same person having a 3sum in a club. We show and hide parts of ourselves as necessary. The problem comes when people do not apply the same rules to others that they do for themselves... Rant over " I do agree with you and I'd guess that they do not apply the same rules to others because they must unconsciously or consciously think that what they are doing isn't normal. It can't be reduced to one gender though. I think it is even more complex than that. As others have said, a relationship implicitly implies some sort of exclusivity. That's why some couples do not kiss others. If, as a man, I do everything and anything with everyone and anyone, sexually or not, would you see me as a suitable husband and ultimately as a suitable father? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! " that is because the definition of the word slut refers to women. Maybe you should of used a different word if you didnt want them to assume | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! that is because the definition of the word slut refers to women. Maybe you should of used a different word if you didnt want them to assume" What word is used for men sluts? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! that is because the definition of the word slut refers to women. Maybe you should of used a different word if you didnt want them to assume What word is used for men sluts?" i dont know. I dont think there is a word. But the word slut refers to women. Men can only show characterists of being a slut but cant actually be one unless they have a sex change. Its a derogratior word for women | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! that is because the definition of the word slut refers to women. Maybe you should of used a different word if you didnt want them to assume What word is used for men sluts?i dont know. I dont think there is a word. But the word slut refers to women. Men can only show characterists of being a slut but cant actually be one unless they have a sex change. Its a derogratior word for women" Can you let us know where you read this? A proper authentic evidence please. Far as I'm concerned I agree with the other lady. Men can be and are sluts/slags/whores as much as women can be. If they behave that way, they deserve the same title! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! that is because the definition of the word slut refers to women. Maybe you should of used a different word if you didnt want them to assume What word is used for men sluts?i dont know. I dont think there is a word. But the word slut refers to women. Men can only show characterists of being a slut but cant actually be one unless they have a sex change. Its a derogratior word for women" Ironically I think the word slut has been embraced by this scene as a positive thing. I definitely see women who are sexually empowered sluts as being just as positive as a similarly male slut. But I think the word "slapper" retains negative connotations for most on here. Whilst they're quite proud of being a slut, they wouldn't like to think of themselves as a slapper. The slut is merely sexually explorative. The slapper has no/low selection criteria. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The amount of people that thought the post referred to the singer Madonna, beggars belief! " I didn't. However she does look abit of a washed out whore these days. So those who assumed the OP was referring to the singer, can't really be sniggered at. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! that is because the definition of the word slut refers to women. Maybe you should of used a different word if you didnt want them to assume What word is used for men sluts?i dont know. I dont think there is a word. But the word slut refers to women. Men can only show characterists of being a slut but cant actually be one unless they have a sex change. Its a derogratior word for women Ironically I think the word slut has been embraced by this scene as a positive thing. I definitely see women who are sexually empowered sluts as being just as positive as a similarly male slut. But I think the word "slapper" retains negative connotations for most on here. Whilst they're quite proud of being a slut, they wouldn't like to think of themselves as a slapper. The slut is merely sexually explorative. The slapper has no/low selection criteria. " not all women want to be referred to as sluts and any man who refered to me as a slut would be out the door quicker than his feet could carry him | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! that is because the definition of the word slut refers to women. Maybe you should of used a different word if you didnt want them to assume What word is used for men sluts?i dont know. I dont think there is a word. But the word slut refers to women. Men can only show characterists of being a slut but cant actually be one unless they have a sex change. Its a derogratior word for women Ironically I think the word slut has been embraced by this scene as a positive thing. I definitely see women who are sexually empowered sluts as being just as positive as a similarly male slut. But I think the word "slapper" retains negative connotations for most on here. Whilst they're quite proud of being a slut, they wouldn't like to think of themselves as a slapper. The slut is merely sexually explorative. The slapper has no/low selection criteria. not all women want to be referred to as sluts and any man who refered to me as a slut would be out the door quicker than his feet could carry him" Exactly so! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! that is because the definition of the word slut refers to women. Maybe you should of used a different word if you didnt want them to assume What word is used for men sluts?i dont know. I dont think there is a word. But the word slut refers to women. Men can only show characterists of being a slut but cant actually be one unless they have a sex change. Its a derogratior word for women Ironically I think the word slut has been embraced by this scene as a positive thing. I definitely see women who are sexually empowered sluts as being just as positive as a similarly male slut. But I think the word "slapper" retains negative connotations for most on here. Whilst they're quite proud of being a slut, they wouldn't like to think of themselves as a slapper. The slut is merely sexually explorative. The slapper has no/low selection criteria. not all women want to be referred to as sluts and any man who refered to me as a slut would be out the door quicker than his feet could carry him" I would personally never call a woman a slut. I don't have a negative view of sexual exploration. And I'd never call a woman a slapper, although I do have a negative view of having no standards. I don't go in for that kind of judgemental name calling. But books like "the ethical slut" have caused some in this scene to appropriate the word as a positive thing. In this way if a woman referred to herself as a slut on here I'd assume she meant it in a positive celebratory way. And in that capacity I'm happy to join in and celebrate sexual exploration as a positive thing too... and so be a male slut too. But I'd never celebrate low/no standards. I see that as different | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! that is because the definition of the word slut refers to women. Maybe you should of used a different word if you didnt want them to assume What word is used for men sluts?i dont know. I dont think there is a word. But the word slut refers to women. Men can only show characterists of being a slut but cant actually be one unless they have a sex change. Its a derogratior word for women Ironically I think the word slut has been embraced by this scene as a positive thing. I definitely see women who are sexually empowered sluts as being just as positive as a similarly male slut. But I think the word "slapper" retains negative connotations for most on here. Whilst they're quite proud of being a slut, they wouldn't like to think of themselves as a slapper. The slut is merely sexually explorative. The slapper has no/low selection criteria. not all women want to be referred to as sluts and any man who refered to me as a slut would be out the door quicker than his feet could carry him I would personally never call a woman a slut. I don't have a negative view of sexual exploration. And I'd never call a woman a slapper, although I do have a negative view of having no standards. I don't go in for that kind of judgemental name calling. But books like "the ethical slut" have caused some in this scene to appropriate the word as a positive thing. In this way if a woman referred to herself as a slut on here I'd assume she meant it in a positive celebratory way. And in that capacity I'm happy to join in and celebrate sexual exploration as a positive thing too... and so be a male slut too. But I'd never celebrate low/no standards. I see that as different " i had the biggest row ive ever had over a guy who had read that book. He tried to intimidate me and bully me off a site. Never let up and even came on here to do the same and when i told him he was a bully he bloody reported me and i got a warning about sending abusive messages. God knows what he had told them about me | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The amount of people that thought the post referred to the singer Madonna, beggars belief! " damn a thought it was about Maradona now he is a man whore | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
""Where such men love, they have no desire,and where they desire, they cannot love" Thats what the main man said. My question is, why?" Ooo that's a very different take on it. I'll have to ponder that | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! that is because the definition of the word slut refers to women. Maybe you should of used a different word if you didnt want them to assume What word is used for men sluts?i dont know. I dont think there is a word. But the word slut refers to women. Men can only show characterists of being a slut but cant actually be one unless they have a sex change. Its a derogratior word for women Ironically I think the word slut has been embraced by this scene as a positive thing. I definitely see women who are sexually empowered sluts as being just as positive as a similarly male slut. But I think the word "slapper" retains negative connotations for most on here. Whilst they're quite proud of being a slut, they wouldn't like to think of themselves as a slapper. The slut is merely sexually explorative. The slapper has no/low selection criteria. not all women want to be referred to as sluts and any man who refered to me as a slut would be out the door quicker than his feet could carry him I would personally never call a woman a slut. I don't have a negative view of sexual exploration. And I'd never call a woman a slapper, although I do have a negative view of having no standards. I don't go in for that kind of judgemental name calling. But books like "the ethical slut" have caused some in this scene to appropriate the word as a positive thing. In this way if a woman referred to herself as a slut on here I'd assume she meant it in a positive celebratory way. And in that capacity I'm happy to join in and celebrate sexual exploration as a positive thing too... and so be a male slut too. But I'd never celebrate low/no standards. I see that as different " I think using phrases like ‘no standards’ is judgemental. People always have criteria, you just don’t know what they are. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! that is because the definition of the word slut refers to women. Maybe you should of used a different word if you didnt want them to assume What word is used for men sluts?i dont know. I dont think there is a word. But the word slut refers to women. Men can only show characterists of being a slut but cant actually be one unless they have a sex change. Its a derogratior word for women Ironically I think the word slut has been embraced by this scene as a positive thing. I definitely see women who are sexually empowered sluts as being just as positive as a similarly male slut. But I think the word "slapper" retains negative connotations for most on here. Whilst they're quite proud of being a slut, they wouldn't like to think of themselves as a slapper. The slut is merely sexually explorative. The slapper has no/low selection criteria. not all women want to be referred to as sluts and any man who refered to me as a slut would be out the door quicker than his feet could carry him I would personally never call a woman a slut. I don't have a negative view of sexual exploration. And I'd never call a woman a slapper, although I do have a negative view of having no standards. I don't go in for that kind of judgemental name calling. But books like "the ethical slut" have caused some in this scene to appropriate the word as a positive thing. In this way if a woman referred to herself as a slut on here I'd assume she meant it in a positive celebratory way. And in that capacity I'm happy to join in and celebrate sexual exploration as a positive thing too... and so be a male slut too. But I'd never celebrate low/no standards. I see that as different i had the biggest row ive ever had over a guy who had read that book. He tried to intimidate me and bully me off a site. Never let up and even came on here to do the same and when i told him he was a bully he bloody reported me and i got a warning about sending abusive messages. God knows what he had told them about me " Sorry to hear that. I enjoyed reading the book. But found it a bit "thou doth protest too much"... like there was actually some shame the authors felt and it led them to feel they had to write a massive defence of their lifestyle. Esther Perez's calmer French take on how infidelity, swinging and polyamory can sometimes support and refresh a long term relationship was much less dogmatic and more thoughtful | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! that is because the definition of the word slut refers to women. Maybe you should of used a different word if you didnt want them to assume What word is used for men sluts?i dont know. I dont think there is a word. But the word slut refers to women. Men can only show characterists of being a slut but cant actually be one unless they have a sex change. Its a derogratior word for women Ironically I think the word slut has been embraced by this scene as a positive thing. I definitely see women who are sexually empowered sluts as being just as positive as a similarly male slut. But I think the word "slapper" retains negative connotations for most on here. Whilst they're quite proud of being a slut, they wouldn't like to think of themselves as a slapper. The slut is merely sexually explorative. The slapper has no/low selection criteria. not all women want to be referred to as sluts and any man who refered to me as a slut would be out the door quicker than his feet could carry him I would personally never call a woman a slut. I don't have a negative view of sexual exploration. And I'd never call a woman a slapper, although I do have a negative view of having no standards. I don't go in for that kind of judgemental name calling. But books like "the ethical slut" have caused some in this scene to appropriate the word as a positive thing. In this way if a woman referred to herself as a slut on here I'd assume she meant it in a positive celebratory way. And in that capacity I'm happy to join in and celebrate sexual exploration as a positive thing too... and so be a male slut too. But I'd never celebrate low/no standards. I see that as different I think using phrases like ‘no standards’ is judgemental. People always have criteria, you just don’t know what they are." Indeed And how do we determine what constitutes having ' no standards' anyway? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! that is because the definition of the word slut refers to women. Maybe you should of used a different word if you didnt want them to assume What word is used for men sluts?i dont know. I dont think there is a word. But the word slut refers to women. Men can only show characterists of being a slut but cant actually be one unless they have a sex change. Its a derogratior word for women Ironically I think the word slut has been embraced by this scene as a positive thing. I definitely see women who are sexually empowered sluts as being just as positive as a similarly male slut. But I think the word "slapper" retains negative connotations for most on here. Whilst they're quite proud of being a slut, they wouldn't like to think of themselves as a slapper. The slut is merely sexually explorative. The slapper has no/low selection criteria. not all women want to be referred to as sluts and any man who refered to me as a slut would be out the door quicker than his feet could carry him I would personally never call a woman a slut. I don't have a negative view of sexual exploration. And I'd never call a woman a slapper, although I do have a negative view of having no standards. I don't go in for that kind of judgemental name calling. But books like "the ethical slut" have caused some in this scene to appropriate the word as a positive thing. In this way if a woman referred to herself as a slut on here I'd assume she meant it in a positive celebratory way. And in that capacity I'm happy to join in and celebrate sexual exploration as a positive thing too... and so be a male slut too. But I'd never celebrate low/no standards. I see that as different I think using phrases like ‘no standards’ is judgemental. People always have criteria, you just don’t know what they are. Indeed And how do we determine what constitutes having ' no standards' anyway?" Exactly, I think *judgement* might be involved.. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm curious. Isn't it true of both genders that some of them would be happy to fuck people who have no/low selection criteria but not date them. What does it bother you if a guy is willing to fuck anything if he's hot? It's just a fuck. But of course you probably wouldn't want to date such a guy. Isn't that the Madonna/whore issue in a nutshell? It works both ways but it only ever seems to be a negative thing for men. I did a thread about sluts and everyone assumed it was about women....!! that is because the definition of the word slut refers to women. Maybe you should of used a different word if you didnt want them to assume What word is used for men sluts?i dont know. I dont think there is a word. But the word slut refers to women. Men can only show characterists of being a slut but cant actually be one unless they have a sex change. Its a derogratior word for women Ironically I think the word slut has been embraced by this scene as a positive thing. I definitely see women who are sexually empowered sluts as being just as positive as a similarly male slut. But I think the word "slapper" retains negative connotations for most on here. Whilst they're quite proud of being a slut, they wouldn't like to think of themselves as a slapper. The slut is merely sexually explorative. The slapper has no/low selection criteria. not all women want to be referred to as sluts and any man who refered to me as a slut would be out the door quicker than his feet could carry him I would personally never call a woman a slut. I don't have a negative view of sexual exploration. And I'd never call a woman a slapper, although I do have a negative view of having no standards. I don't go in for that kind of judgemental name calling. But books like "the ethical slut" have caused some in this scene to appropriate the word as a positive thing. In this way if a woman referred to herself as a slut on here I'd assume she meant it in a positive celebratory way. And in that capacity I'm happy to join in and celebrate sexual exploration as a positive thing too... and so be a male slut too. But I'd never celebrate low/no standards. I see that as different i had the biggest row ive ever had over a guy who had read that book. He tried to intimidate me and bully me off a site. Never let up and even came on here to do the same and when i told him he was a bully he bloody reported me and i got a warning about sending abusive messages. God knows what he had told them about me Sorry to hear that. I enjoyed reading the book. But found it a bit "thou doth protest too much"... like there was actually some shame the authors felt and it led them to feel they had to write a massive defence of their lifestyle. Esther Perez's calmer French take on how infidelity, swinging and polyamory can sometimes support and refresh a long term relationship was much less dogmatic and more thoughtful " i feel no shame Sexually ive always done exactly what i want. If someone wants to judge me on it they can crack on it makes not a jot of difference to me | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think using phrases like ‘no standards’ is judgemental. People always have criteria, you just don’t know what they are." Some people, like alcoholics and druggies, seem to lose their standards in a stupor. Some women and some men get so desperate for sex they drop their standards. There are genuinely some people who have this problem. Maybe it's sex addiction. I think, due to biology, this tends to effect men more than women. Their balls drive them mad and they end up fucking whatever they can get. But women can succumb to a similar madness after a long draught of intimacy. I don't know. But to my mind the slapper (both male and female) definitely exists. Only political correctness would get in the way of admitting that | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"i feel no shame Sexually ive always done exactly what i want. If someone wants to judge me on it they can crack on it makes not a jot of difference to me" and so you shouldn't | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
""Where such men love, they have no desire,and where they desire, they cannot love" Thats what the main man said. My question is, why?" Is it some sort of repressed emotion, like the early church suffered. The women they want filthy sex with remind them too much they arè nothing but wanton lustful creatures and have been led astray. They cannot love them out of guilt of enjoying themselves. The lovely wives are to be revered as mothers to their children and partners in their lives, not to be sullied with dirty thoughts and actions. There is no desire as they have to take on other more innocent roles. All on a very basic subconcious level of course Isnt this why early priests shunned woman, they couldn't trust themselves around the woman so blamed the woman for their lack of control. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
""Where such men love, they have no desire,and where they desire, they cannot love" Thats what the main man said. My question is, why? Ooo that's a very different take on it. I'll have to ponder that " I think I'd point back to Esther Perez. Her book forwards the hypothesis that love seeks union with the other but eroticism thrives on the exciting difference of the other. She attributed this to both genders, arguing that many relationships dry up because the impulse of love destroys any of the tantalisingly erotic foreigness of each other. We become commonplace objects in each other's lives. She recommended that healthy long term relationships should maintain a bit of mystery and resist the urge to morph from two distinct and intriguing lovers into one unit. Otherwise one or other party may end up looking elsewhere for that exciting erotic otherness. Isn't this what you're getting at? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
""Where such men love, they have no desire,and where they desire, they cannot love" Thats what the main man said. My question is, why? Ooo that's a very different take on it. I'll have to ponder that I think I'd point back to Esther Perez. Her book forwards the hypothesis that love seeks union with the other but eroticism thrives on the exciting difference of the other. She attributed this to both genders, arguing that many relationships dry up because the impulse of love destroys any of the tantalisingly erotic foreigness of each other. We become commonplace objects in each other's lives. She recommended that healthy long term relationships should maintain a bit of mystery and resist the urge to morph from two distinct and intriguing lovers into one unit. Otherwise one or other party may end up looking elsewhere for that exciting erotic otherness. Isn't this what you're getting at? " isnt marriage about becoming one unit. Ive been to weddings where they have burnt two seperate candels to signify the coming together as one. Whats the point of being married if you cant be 100% yourself but have to hold something back to appear a "mystery" | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
""Where such men love, they have no desire,and where they desire, they cannot love" Thats what the main man said. My question is, why? Is it some sort of repressed emotion, like the early church suffered. The women they want filthy sex with remind them too much they arè nothing but wanton lustful creatures and have been led astray. They cannot love them out of guilt of enjoying themselves. The lovely wives are to be revered as mothers to their children and partners in their lives, not to be sullied with dirty thoughts and actions. There is no desire as they have to take on other more innocent roles. All on a very basic subconcious level of course Isnt this why early priests shunned woman, they couldn't trust themselves around the woman so blamed the woman for their lack of control. " And so it continues, with victims of certain crimes still being blamed for causing their own misfortune because of the clothes they wear. Plus the various religions which require women to be 'modest' to a greater or lesser degree since men couldn't possibly be expected to control themselves at the sight of an ankle or whatever. Yes, that is a huge simplification and I'm aware there are other arguments for religious modesty but the Madonna/whore belief certainly plays a part in it. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
""Where such men love, they have no desire,and where they desire, they cannot love" Thats what the main man said. My question is, why? Ooo that's a very different take on it. I'll have to ponder that I think I'd point back to Esther Perez. Her book forwards the hypothesis that love seeks union with the other but eroticism thrives on the exciting difference of the other. She attributed this to both genders, arguing that many relationships dry up because the impulse of love destroys any of the tantalisingly erotic foreigness of each other. We become commonplace objects in each other's lives. She recommended that healthy long term relationships should maintain a bit of mystery and resist the urge to morph from two distinct and intriguing lovers into one unit. Otherwise one or other party may end up looking elsewhere for that exciting erotic otherness. Isn't this what you're getting at? " I wasnt getting at anything. I was just quoting Freud, and putting it out there for discussion, as its a subject I am reading about. I'm interested in people's opinions, which is why I havent proffered my own | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
""Where such men love, they have no desire,and where they desire, they cannot love" Thats what the main man said. My question is, why? Is it some sort of repressed emotion, like the early church suffered. The women they want filthy sex with remind them too much they arè nothing but wanton lustful creatures and have been led astray. They cannot love them out of guilt of enjoying themselves. The lovely wives are to be revered as mothers to their children and partners in their lives, not to be sullied with dirty thoughts and actions. There is no desire as they have to take on other more innocent roles. All on a very basic subconcious level of course Isnt this why early priests shunned woman, they couldn't trust themselves around the woman so blamed the woman for their lack of control. " This happened to me. An ex admitted he was avoiding me (he'd only communicate via text and wouldn't meet me in person) because he said he couldn't trust himself around me as he couldn't resist me. It made me feel so crap but maybe I should feel empowered or flattered? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Baffles me that attitude still exists. Especially on here where it's pretty rife. Surely you can be both? It's a lazy assumption that those 'whores' who brazenly adore sex aren't capable of fulfilling the 'Madonna' role. There's plenty of fabulous couples on here who certainly prove the either/or theory wrong And funnily enough, Madonna the pop star has managed to be both a sexualised slut and a Mother. So, yeah" Good point about the happy couples. Some men do appreciate that women can be both. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Id love some people to see me in my relationship. Think it might surprise a few" Surprise in what way? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Id love some people to see me in my relationship. Think it might surprise a few Surprise in what way?" im not really sure Surprised im with someone like jay | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
""Where such men love, they have no desire,and where they desire, they cannot love" Thats what the main man said. My question is, why?" Did you see that in breakout kings btw ? The scene at the restaurant ? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |