FabSwingers.com forum: Depression

By *orningtonCroissant OP Man
over a year ago

notts and humberside

Sorry to bring you down, but I am struggling with depression at the moment. If anyone can help me I would appreciate it. No idea how mind you!

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Years ago I went through a serious bout of depression. It’s horrible when you’re in it but know this, this too shall pass.

Keep going, be kind to yourself. Seek help and take it. You’ll get through it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you been to your GP and explained how this is affecting you? They can refer to counselling services - and suggest medications that may help short-term.

Contact 'Aware' - or other similar services that provide a listening ear, guidance to assist you with understanding/living with what causes your situation.

There is lots of ways to relieve the symptoms, but it takes a bit of trial and error to figure what works for you. Some go running, or to the gym, others do something that makes their brain concentrate on detail - like I do with my knitting.

Talk - it seems silly/simple/daft - but sometimes you just need to let it out into the ether that you need to vent.

Lots of folks have experience - and I hope you find your way to manage this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to bring you down, but I am struggling with depression at the moment. If anyone can help me I would appreciate it. No idea how mind you!"

If you’ve been feeling like this for more than a few weeks it’s probably time to seek help. I have found mindfulness incredibly helpful over the years, but there’s also a place for meds and counselling. It takes time to figure out what’s works for you personally. But you will get trough this x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was depressed a few years ago I stopped going out and stop talking to people, this was a big mistake. Easier said than done, but you need to force yourself to socialise and get out and about, and you will eventually start to relax and happiness will follow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Link in with GP and local services and get qualified clinical advice and support, have a buddy (friend or family) and tell them how you're really feeling, lots of fresh air outside, find your particular coping strategies and be conscious of particular triggers for you -- everybody is different -- check out resources on Mind website, or CALM which is specifically for men, be gentle with yourself and be conscious that feelings are just that, not actuality but your current response to your circumstances and can change, talk to people and if you can't talk..be with people, eat well, sleep well, exercise like walking, mindfulness, talking therapies, find your useful "things", but above all else know you are not alone. You really aren't. And being honest about how down you are with others is liberating for them and you. Be buoyed in the knowledge there is support, others will relate and you are very much worthwhile. Hugs.

Samaritans have a helpline you can call anytime. Please use it if you're in crisis.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Speak to your GP or someone as soon as you can mate. Get help fast and don’t be afraid to talk. Men suffer in silence please don’t think you have to.

Depression has a deep hold over one of my friends and has for years.

He has tried everything and regularly wakes up thinking that will be the day he kills himself. He has one thing that keeps him going and that’s his child.

He is going to have some RTMS treatment soon which he has sadly pinned his whole hope on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All good advice. Definately try your gp.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep go to gp or speak to mind they are amazing or samarstin's or do you have a close friend to talk to without judgement x

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Been there and its a horrible place to be...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I’ve been there......... don’t suffer in silence ....... your local GP and get a referral to speak to a councillor...... worked for me, non judgemental and I’d recommend that route to help

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

All I can say from being in the same place is what was said above. The GP is the first call, if you can’t do it then get a friend (even a Fab friend) to make you go through with it.

It’s different for everyone but one of the treatments will work, I’m still amazed that I came out of it and you can too.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Was it wise in your other thread to ask people to rate your face pic if you're feeling like this?!

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By *igbrownthingMan
over a year ago

Travelling Professional

As a Doctor with Psychiatry experience, I'm sorry that you're going through these feelings and although we all can't truly understand what it is you're going through, we can appreciate it's imapact on your life and try to get you back on your feet.

It's nice to see so many well informed people who have given you amazing advice in the previous posts and would definitely follow this.

In the first instance, if you have been feeling this way for over 2 weeks of continuous low mood, it's definitely time for you to see your GP. They'll offer two options essentially based on their assessment, either refer you for some counselling where you will be able to express these feelings to understand their origin and how to work towards accepting them and moving on. The other possibility might be the need of medication in combination with counselling to help provide added benefit.

It is important to ensure you're not locking yourself away as a change of environment can work wonders, as can exercise. It doesn't have to be vigorous or insanely intense, even fast paced walking can stimulate the production of 'serotonin' ( a chemical found in the brain), which in turn, improves mood.

I hope this helps somewhat and it seems that as filthy minded as we may be on here, we have hearts too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please go and chat with your GP and get help. There is no need to struggle and suffer alone with this. It's an illness that needs treated. You must keep talking about how you feel too, don't bottle it up.

There is a way through depression and you'll learn how to cope with it. it's not easy and will take time, but you'll come out the other side stronger and happier.

Good luck OP and hope you start to feel a little better soon.

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By *mber DextrousWoman
over a year ago

Devon

Another one who's been there. As others have said GP is a good first step.

If you're isolating yourself and avoiding people try and push through that and engage with others, even if it starts with a phone call rather than going out.

Fresh air and exercise are often suggested, so country walk perhaps but anything you enjoy but have been neglecting can be positive.

I really hope you find some useful suggestions in this thread.

A x

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

One other point you might find useful, because everyone’s depression is different you shouldn’t worry if one ‘fix’ doesn’t help you.

I got really anxious when exercising did nothing for me but don’t worry - report back honestly to the doc and they’ll recommend something else.

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By *ohnny4playMan
over a year ago

Kinross

"As a Doctor with Psychiatry experience, I'm sorry that you're going through these feelings and although we all can't truly understand what it is you're going through, we can appreciate it's imapact on your life and try to get you back on your feet.

It's nice to see so many well informed people who have given you amazing advice in the previous posts and would definitely follow this.

I hope this helps somewhat and it seems that as filthy minded as we may be on here, we have hearts too!"

Personally I found CBT helpful and excercise brought short term relief.

Hope it all lifts for you soon.

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By *ove3funCouple
over a year ago

Cheltenham

All of the above plus I do mindfullness/ meditation/ yoga, something peaceful that brings awareness of your body. Also make sure you are eating well.

Hugs to you mental health battles are not easy but you are being proactive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exercise and unprocessed foods help , sounds silly but even brazil nuts contain selenium which boosts well being , treat yourself to something , have a sauna and relax , do night classes , these things help me when feeling down and as others have said it is only a moment in time and you should come through , do not agree with taking gp pills though good luck x

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I love your username Mr croissant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depend on what's making you depressed bud.

Is it chronic or situational?

I have found tiring myself out helps if i drop down for whatever reason.

Disconnecting from any negatives too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of good advice here op good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to bring you down, but I am struggling with depression at the moment. If anyone can help me I would appreciate it. No idea how mind you!"

You have my sympathy, I've been there several times over the years for different reasons.

Talk to your doctor or get a recommended therapist (they're not all good)

I would advise against the Samaritans unless you are desperate for someone to talk to immediately, I found them very patronising and uncaring

Good luck and if I can help at all, ask x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As so many have posted on this thread already; the first port of call is to get help, talk and keep talking.

Be gentle with yourself and don’t feel down for feeling down. It is an illness and it requires the right treatment to alleviate it.

Make sure that you’re looking after yourself; sleeping well and eating well, try and do the little things that make you happy and focus your mind away from your immediate thoughts.

I hope you find the support and help that you need OP

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"Sorry to bring you down, but I am struggling with depression at the moment. If anyone can help me I would appreciate it. No idea how mind you!"

Only basic advice, but go get some fresh air and change your routine for try and do something different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking like that and just look what your meets have said " A lovely, confident, chatty man with all the right skills! Thank you very much in X

Anyway I'm so pleased he was, he's good looking, lovely smile, nice body, great kisser, very sensual lover and cheeky personality with it I’m lost for words to describe how good he was and how fantastic I felt. Can it get any better! I’ll need to see him again to find out.

Oh my, where do I start! It was supposed to be a social meet, just a drink and a chat.........how wrong I was and how good do I feel now. His name belies him. I’m renaming him sexy horny fucker! Can’t wait for the next time You should buzz off these !

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By *orningtonCroissant OP Man
over a year ago

notts and humberside

Thank you so much for all the supportive advice comments and pm messages. I knew this lovely community would rally round and I wasn’t wrong. It’s so mad and heartening that I have found so many friends on here, and that just like in the clubs, people just want to be nice and friendly and help a fellow human being. Bless you all xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing much to add to all the other good advice.

For me, I had some online seminars and tried to get counselling, but what did the trick more than anything else was when I took up running.

Not necessarily for everyone, but find your own path that works.

Good luck with it.

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By *eelouWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

It's so lovely to see so many helping out with lots of great advice. I've had it for years too and it comes and goes depending on what's going on around me. Personally I've found talking helps me.

I truly hope you find something that helps, like some have said it can be trial and error but keep at it until you find what works for you.

Big hugs to you xxxx

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

I can't stop talking about it now.

Sent you a PM OP, lots of great advice and that message just has my two penneth and thoughts.

Be kind to yourself and it's okay to not be okay, don't feel weak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Question: How do you know you are suffering from depression?

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"Question: How do you know you are suffering from depression?"

I'll be honest, I didn't spot it until I found that I couldn't cope and my natural cheery manner wasn't there. I didn't feel right and any little thing was stressing me. I didn't want to listen to music, go out. Things became a big battle and my confidence went.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Question: How do you know you are suffering from depression?

Did you find out why?

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"Question: How do you know you are suffering from depression?

Did you find out why? "

Accumulation of things.. Started 18 months earlier. I can pinpoint it now. Ultimately I wasn't looking after myself either. I've made some positive changes that have meant increased exercise... (well some exercise!) and now feel I have a couple of other health issues in check.

I know that I'm a different person now but its all made me more self aware, which can only be a positive thing.

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By *eviationMan
over a year ago

Brynamman

Talk chat speak and repeat communication is what helps and gp drugs

Talk some more loads suffering from it (as above)

And talk some more and find a good thought or memory sounds knoby but does help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Question: How do you know you are suffering from depression?

Did you find out why?

I know that I'm a different person now but its all made me more self aware, which can only be a positive thing."

That’s good to hear

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Question: How do you know you are suffering from depression?

Did you find out why?

I know that I'm a different person now but its all made me more self aware, which can only be a positive thing."

Respect for being so up front. you've definitely made me think about some things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always remember there is a balance , you have to feel down sometimes to appreciate when you feel good !

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By *tsJeanLucMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Sorry to bring you down, but I am struggling with depression at the moment. If anyone can help me I would appreciate it. No idea how mind you!"

Always here if you ever need a talk or rant no matter what time it is (if I’m awake or online that is) I’ve suffered with depression in the last, three years clear now and still going strong after it putting me in ICU! Don’t think you’re ever alone and that nobody cares because people do care and you’re not alone, here for you mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do not suffer in silence. I have an anxiety disorder and although it is well controlled with Sertraline at times it rears its ugly head. Talk to somebody. Your gp. Get help. Honestly you can get through it. Just find the right key for the right door.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also have depression plus anxiety and stress so i sympathise with you. I eventually went to see my GP and that that was the best thing i did. Im now on medication which is helping loads. My work paid for some counselling which was brilliant but sadly thats now ended and i cant afford to pay myself but i still put into practise all i learnt. Im still waiting for NHS counselling, almost 4 months so far ! My family have helped too. Exercise didnt help me although i tried it. I found that following the hints my body gave helped, so if i felt tired i slept etc.

Different things work for each of us but see your GP first and go from there. Good luck. Feel free to messege me if you want x

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By *orningtonCroissant OP Man
over a year ago

notts and humberside

Thanks everyone for all the messages. What a lovely lot you are xx

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By *r MacmullyMan
over a year ago

Tarbert

"Sorry to bring you down, but I am struggling with depression at the moment. If anyone can help me I would appreciate it. No idea how mind you!"

Going through it at the moment. I'm going to counclin my GP and I'm on medss which had helped my mood around people. I waited too long to go get help and as a result I lashed out and hurt someone I care deeply about.. my advice is to book an appointment with you your doctor today and strategic the road to recovery. There is a light at the end of the tunnel other then the on coming train even though a few pass me by.

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