FabSwingers.com forum: Feel crap

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I find this difficult to write but a few whiskys and hey ...

I’m feeling terribly lonely. I’ve had a great weekend with the kids but it’s always tough when they leave. Everyone seems to think I’m doing ok with life and that I’m strong so I can manage whatever shit comes my way but tbh it can be a struggle sometimes.

I don’t have a bad bone in my body and I’d say I’m an honest person so don’t understand why I can’t find the right lady. There’s been a few false dawns. I will keep trying because there’s so many positives in my life and I’m sure it’ll happen but there are moments like right now when I need someone special to say hey, you’re amazing to me.

It’s impossible to talk to guys about this even if we’re best friends so I’m offloading here to a bunch of strangers. How fucking desperate is that. I’m sure I’ll feel ok tomorrow but I feel pretty shit right now and could do with a kick up the pants.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find this difficult to write but a few whiskys and hey ...

Not desperate at all, every one has down times

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi op, I'm sorry to read this.

I wish I could offer advise or comforting word but I can't.

So here a ((((big hug))))

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of people, myself included, came here / are here / will return to fill a gap in their lives.

I miss my kids, their background chatter as much as the being with them when they're not around.

I don't have answers as such. Recognising the need for distraction vs the desire for quality company has led me down odd paths. But self awareness is important.

And as for finding that elusive someone... sigh...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edoriartyCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

Aw hugs OP.

I think there is something about holiday times, even if this one is only a bank holiday, that heightens these feelings.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find this difficult to write but a few whiskys and hey ...

Its not desperate at all..

Its sometimes good to offload to people who don't know you or anything about you...

I suspect most people feel lonely at some point in their lives ...offload all you like

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll feel much better for having written it down somewhere. Its never weak to feel lonely. Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"I find this difficult to write but a few whiskys and hey ...

I know how you feel my lovely! I’ve just had a fabulous holiday with my kids - but yet another one as a single parent - which means spending the evening in the hotel bars/beach bar as the only lone adult whilst the kids go off with friends they’ve made!

Sending huge hugs! I hope you find someone wonderful soon! X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Op. Many people off load to strangers. Hope you find it helps

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Big hugs op I know how you feel holidays suck when you only get limited time with your children.

Try and think of the positives you get to see your children, I've not seen one of mine for 3 years it was her 16th this year she's had her Gcse's results and I know nothing of how she is or doing.

I also have the back lash of moody child who goes away to days and is confused how to be when back home.

Just remember your kids love you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big hugs OP. It can be a difficult time when you've had your kids, the quietness will no doubt hit you when they go.

Go easy on youdeof, don't beat yourself up that you're feeling low, we can't all be 100% happy all the time.

Try and have a good sleep tonight, tomorrow is a new day and find something to keep you busy and distracted.

This place isn't always the best when you're feeling low as it no doubt seems everyone is having fun except you, but that's not the case either.

Try not to dwell on what you haven't got and focus on what you do have.

Hope you brighten up soon OP.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I don’t have kids (didn’t want them) been single for mor than 10 years. I’ve had three long time partners in my life but I finished them all for various different reasons, but yes we all have a wobble now and again. Sometimes I give off the vibe that I am stronger than I actually am even to my own parents

which I’m sure I have brought on myself but I try and do everything myself.

I’ve had a pretty stressful 14 months of late and yes I’ve had a few mini breakdowns during that time, but I just pick myself up and get on with it, sometimes I even piss myself off lol but hey we are who we are, I know I need to ask for help more when I need it, it’s just a hard cycle to crack, so I wouldn’t beat yourself up OP we are allowed some self indulgent times or wallowing as some people may see, but fuck them!

None of us are super human, we sometimes need to remember that we are just humans at times! So don’t give yourself too much of a hard time xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hugs OP

We all get lonely - it might not feel like it now but it will pass x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

Everyone has down times and it's not weak to speak.

Well done to you.

Sending good thoughts your way mate.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find this difficult to write but a few whiskys and hey ...

Hey fella sorry to hear that. Being lonely sucks. Not to quote the obvious but have you joined any classes, met some real people and made friends. This place is great but I I’ve struggled for more than a few ping pong messages before I’ve been unread or deleted.

I’ve made life long friends at most of the clubs I attend. Not an ignored txt in sight

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a dr. Maybe talk to them about how you are feeling. I don't know you enough to say much else.

Lots of us here can talk if that helps. You are not lonely you have an extended fabswingers family.

Kind regards

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can’t say thank you enough. So many messages coming through. I’m crying big time now, thank you for caring everyone. I don’t know why tonight is harder than it’s been till now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andyMinx_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds

Smile and feel lucky. Haven't seen my kids for 10 years. Make the most of what you have x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please don’t feel alone OP, I’m much the same all my friends are married and busy in their lives, I’ve no immediate family aside from my sister whom I’m not close to really. My kids are older and out all the time and my weekends are the hardest! I find myself some weekends not seeing anyone adult from the Friday until I’m back in work on the Monday.

I had a hard time a year ago and struggled emotionally with my feelings, I seeked help via my gp! I found it threw up lots of past experiences that I didn’t think were relevant but obviously were. Just don’t struggle on your own and always remember that there’s help out there.

Big hugs. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

We all have moments of feeling out of sorts for various reasons,I generally just go with it til thing's become clearer. I hope you feel more positive tomorrow.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep your chin up. We all have days like this and it's absolutely ok to feel lonely. Keep talking and being open x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ot-AshMan
over a year ago

London

Hope you feel better tomorrow OP and try and stay positive and keep smiling. Its not easy being single but as they say there is someone out there for everyone so dont give up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abrielle247Couple (FF)
over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

Hey,

Don't worry, we all have bad days.As someone said usually on public holidays as we can feel lonely and unwanted. Try and get out to clubs again and meet people as the internet is a lonely place.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hugs OP

We all get lonely - it might not feel like it now but it will pass x"

I kind of agree but it may not. My feelings of loneliness led to feeling inadequate, then anxious, then eventually suicidal , my thoughts would carry away and it was like a catch 22, I’d try and be positive and bright to everyone yet on my own I’d be like a wreck. I needed help!

People would say “oh it will pass” but it didn’t for me and still hasn’t to an extent but now I know my triggers and coping mechanism to be able to recognise and cope. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Chin up OP you will get through this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I can’t say thank you enough. So many messages coming through. I’m crying big time now, thank you for caring everyone. I don’t know why tonight is harder than it’s been till now. "

Don’t over think it is my best advise, if it hits it hits , sometimes we have no control trust me! I bet come tomorrow you’ll be feeling much better, just don’t expect it not to hit you again, just try and go with it and accept it easier when it does, I wish you well x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey mate, mind if I join you.

Not much to say to you, as I am in the same frame of mind as you, think of the positives you have, look for new friends, or look out old ones. Don't confuse a swinging site with a place to find that someone special (but if you do, well done) And save some of that whisky for me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

Some good points here and if it doesn't pass that's when to speak to your GP. I did and it felt crap and shaming but now, 3 months later, it was the right decision.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can’t say thank you enough. So many messages coming through. I’m crying big time now, thank you for caring everyone. I don’t know why tonight is harder than it’s been till now.

I agree. Overthinking was one of my downfalls, I found reading helped as a distraction method x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big hugs OP I think lots of us myself included can empathise with you. There’s not more I can add to the good advice already posted but if it helps to know, you’re not alone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I kinda get your feeling OP I’ve been struggling a couple of weeks, I went to the gp for help and was told to get a grip stop being silly.

I’m going back tomorrow to see a different gp I need help the past few weeks have taken it’s toll and I’m self harming again I’m on a slippery slope.

Not much use to you I know but just wanted to say your not alone x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Big hugs OP I think lots of us myself included can empathise with you. There’s not more I can add to the good advice already posted but if it helps to know, you’re not alone. "

This is very true, behind the profiles there are real people and many struggle with things just the same as you OP. The forums can be wonderful at times with support from unexpected places

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I kinda get your feeling OP I’ve been struggling a couple of weeks, I went to the gp for help and was told to get a grip stop being silly.

I’m going back tomorrow to see a different gp I need help the past few weeks have taken it’s toll and I’m self harming again I’m on a slippery slope.

Not much use to you I know but just wanted to say your not alone x"

That’s horrible, a truly awful thing for a medical professional to say. I hope you get the support you need.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"I kinda get your feeling OP I’ve been struggling a couple of weeks, I went to the gp for help and was told to get a grip stop being silly.

I’m going back tomorrow to see a different gp I need help the past few weeks have taken it’s toll and I’m self harming again I’m on a slippery slope.

Not much use to you I know but just wanted to say your not alone x"

A gp said that to you bloody hell,they need reporting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Weekends are always hard for me OP, let alone bank holidays , Xmas , Easter etc. They can be hard when you have bouts of loneliness. The only thing that helps me is planning, I try to make myself busy and ban myself off social media (where I see lots of couples family’s doing stuff) it doesn’t help.

I try to be strict and if I can feel myself going downhill I try and sleep or distract with films or a book. Exercise helps also, even just walking with your favourite music on. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread