FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Honesty best policy??

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Say you start dating someone,things get serious,do you at some stage,tell them about being a swinger??

Hey darling,once a upon a time,I used to have sex with strangers at parties,want some spuds ??

Or do you keep it to yourself??

Red

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends how serious you are

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe introduce it as part of a fantasies discussion - “I quite like the idea of ....” and see the reaction. Each case will be different - it will depend on the reaction.

I guess ultimately depending on the seriousness of the relationship then a “this is me, warts and all” discussion might involve full disclosure of your sexual history but each relationship will be different.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eavensScentCouple
over a year ago

Southend

I told my boyfriend I was just starting to explore threesomes on our second date... he was more than happy as you can imagine. Since then we've explored that side of ourselves together.

So I think it pays to be honest!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria


"Say you start dating someone,things get serious,do you at some stage,tell them about being a swinger??

Hey darling,once a upon a time,I used to have sex with strangers at parties,want some spuds ??

Or do you keep it to yourself??

Go on Jeremy Kyle tell them there..

Red "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d be afraid to tell them in case they’d want to swing!!

I’m here for sex whilst single. I have no plans to be on here with a partner.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Say you start dating someone,things get serious,do you at some stage,tell them about being a swinger??

Hey darling,once a upon a time,I used to have sex with strangers at parties,want some spuds ??

Or do you keep it to yourself??

Go on Jeremy Kyle tell them there..

Red "

Is that show still on??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my friends had been living with a lady for 18 months, and had stopped swinging.

After a few drinks he mentioned he’d been on here and to cut a long story short, she could never accept it. He’s single and back here now!

I wouldn’t lie, but sometimes things are best left unsaid!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don’t plan to swing whilst together then I don’t think you need to. We don’t always know a partners whole sexual history , it’s the past.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know of a friend who dated a guy,she told him,made the guy very insecure,threw it at her when they were fighting.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ita part of me so it would have to come up. But what happens next would depend entirely on what the other person considers ‘normal’

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ita part of me so it would have to come up. But what happens next would depend entirely on what the other person considers ‘normal’"

True...my crazy might be your normal

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know of a friend who dated a guy,she told him,made the guy very insecure,threw it at her when they were fighting."

I told my ex I'm bi and he threw it back at me every chance he could.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot depends how much or how little you have done that you class as swinging. If swinging is being on a swinging site and hooking up with other people for sex I really can't see how anybody could or would be bothered.

But the more involved you've been the more I think you need to be open. The truth when hidden has a habit of catching people out. And who would honestly want to be in a relationship with someone who would judge their past life choices negatively

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onny69sMan
over a year ago

Donny

I think it's best to try to judge how they would react.

My ex was a really sexual woman and we discussed things about past sexual adventures but she had never had 3somes of any kind.

She said she would think about it but the answer came as no.

We still had a great sex life but things outside of that didn't work out so I'm back here again.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Open from the outset. If you can't handle my past, you're not going to be part of my future

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One of my friends had been living with a lady for 18 months, and had stopped swinging.

After a few drinks he mentioned he’d been on here and to cut a long story short, she could never accept it. He’s single and back here now!

I wouldn’t lie, but sometimes things are best left unsaid! "

He was well rid if she had that kind of narrow minded attitude. Everyone has a past.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Open from the outset. If you can't handle my past, you're not going to be part of my future"

I’m exactly the same as you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends if you want to carry on swinging

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Completely honest. Always have been

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've always maintained being honest is the best way.

Sooner or later truth comes out.

Even when you haven't done anything bad.

Some of the opinions are interesting to read.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK


"I've always maintained being honest is the best way.

Sooner or later truth comes out.

Even when you haven't done anything bad.

Some of the opinions are interesting to read.

"

I would agree with you Red.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would definitely tell them as I'm a genuine swinger. It's in me, it's who I am. Any future partner would have to be willing to indulge in this lifestyle with me or it wouldn't work.

Honesty is best I would say but gently does it, not just announce it out of nowhere. Talk about sex and fantasies and bring it into the conversation at the right moment.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Say you start dating someone,things get serious,do you at some stage,tell them about being a swinger??

Hey darling,once a upon a time,I used to have sex with strangers at parties,want some spuds ??

Or do you keep it to yourself??

Red "
you have to judge the character of the man you're with, personally I wouldn't want to know but it's your call

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Real relationship will not work if you don't have trust at the begining. Honesty is trust.

Could you please tell me what rights any of us have to lie?

None I hear you cry.

There is your answer op

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Say you start dating someone,things get serious,do you at some stage,tell them about being a swinger??

Hey darling,once a upon a time,I used to have sex with strangers at parties,want some spuds ??

Or do you keep it to yourself??

Red you have to judge the character of the man you're with, personally I wouldn't want to know but it's your call"

You're on a swinging site, so I'm curious as to why you would say that?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would definitely tell them as I'm a genuine swinger. It's in me, it's who I am. Any future partner would have to be willing to indulge in this lifestyle with me or it wouldn't work.

Honesty is best I would say but gently does it, not just announce it out of nowhere. Talk about sex and fantasies and bring it into the conversation at the right moment. "

I agree.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows


"Open from the outset. If you can't handle my past, you're not going to be part of my future"

This

If someone couldn't accept that part of my life, then they have no place in my life

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *htcMan
over a year ago

MK

easy bring up the conversation about a friend who sleeps with other guys but she has a boyfriend and he allows her, as he likes the fact and that they sometimes have a threesome.

then you get the answer if hes into it or not.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In all honesty, if i was to meet someone away from this site and wanted to settle down, i would not feel the need to tell them. What i got up to before i met them is none of their business. Just like if they went out clubbing and fucked a girl every weekend, isn't mine.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It all depends how much you feel you want swinging to be a part of your life going forward. I’ve mentioned it on dates and before I’ve met a guy in person and to be honest it’s not gone down well! I’ve either been seen as an easy shag and go or worse, I have had it said that I could not be trusted (by them) in a relationship, several times. Somehow the equation of swinging =infidelity applies . Hence I’m here where I can at least be honest about that side of me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Very good points made ladies.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually also think i would have racked up far more men, going out every weekend, than i have in this lifestyle haha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think revelations about your past are less important than revealing - progressively - who you are today. We don't just open the door and open the floodgates to showing others absolutely everything about us.

If swinging in the future is important, then it would be important to share this appropriately. If it's essential, then it's worth sharing it from the start, perhaps by only dating someone who's a swinger. If it's not an absolute must, then opening up about sex in general would be more important and potentially could still lead you to talk about swinging. It all depends on your objectives from the relationship and your future.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Very good points made ladies. "
and gents cmon credit where credits due

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really depends on if you have the urge to continue while in a serious relationship.

If it's something that you're going to stop, you do not have to give him a breakdown of what you were doing while you were single. As far as you're concerned, that's your own business.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top