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It made I larf - Fab edition

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Without naming names or breaking forum rules what are the things that always bring a wry smile to your face on Fab - eg double standards, crazy rules, the way different sexes are treated etc etc ...

Inspired by a profile I saw this morning saying no cocks pics guys as you’re more than just a cock - but had 8 public pictures which were ALL close up pics of their foof!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Larger ladies saying ‘if you don’t like BBWs then jog on !’ always makes me chuckle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you send me a friend request and we haven't spoken, I'll block you" was on a profile I got an unsolicited friend request from this morning

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Female : “I was stood up” - general response “what are they crazy?! You’re so hot!!”

Male : “I was stood up” - general response “suck it up dude you whinging twat”

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

People's short memories

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

The biggest laugh I've had recently is when someone you know, leaves glowing veris after an event, about people they'd previously sworn never to give the time of day too.

I do love a good hypocrite!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When someone gets told they are gorgeous. But all is on show is a pair of tits or a close up of a pussy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When someone gets told they are gorgeous. But all is on show is a pair of tits or a close up of a pussy. "

You’re gorgeous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When someone gets told they are gorgeous. But all is on show is a pair of tits or a close up of a pussy. "

Or no pictures at all, when i first joined i had no pics up. First 24 hours, over 100 messages some saying how good i looked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When someone gets told they are gorgeous. But all is on show is a pair of tits or a close up of a pussy.

You’re gorgeous "

No. You mean my tits are gorgeous. Fanny pic available on request.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When someone gets told they are gorgeous. But all is on show is a pair of tits or a close up of a pussy.

Or no pictures at all, when i first joined i had no pics up. First 24 hours, over 100 messages some saying how good i looked "

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By *naquest321Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

How high and mighty some think they are but they all end up on their knees in the end, just like everybody else.

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

When an OP* starts a thread specifically asking for opinions and/or experiences but thereafter ignores every reply *except* those from people they clearly see as hot and therefore worthy of conversation.

* This can apply to OPs of both sexes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People's short memories "

Or Short people...they make me laugh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When someone gets told they are gorgeous. But all is on show is a pair of tits or a close up of a pussy.

Or no pictures at all, when i first joined i had no pics up. First 24 hours, over 100 messages some saying how good i looked "

Those were dark sad times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Messages from straight guys asking if I’m free...

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Women comments on a question asked to men/thread for men? Cue flurry of jokes about it being expected, women blahdeblah.

Man comments on similar thread for women? It's acknowledged/ignored depending on if the Op wants wank bank material.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When someone gets told they are gorgeous. But all is on show is a pair of tits or a close up of a pussy.

Or no pictures at all, when i first joined i had no pics up. First 24 hours, over 100 messages some saying how good i looked

Those were dark sad times "

Brightened up now has it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any post showing appreciation for one “type” will invariably have someone not of that type reply with “ooops guess this thread isn’t for me”

Most often seen on small boob appreciation threads - guaranteed a busty lady will do this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When someone gets told they are gorgeous. But all is on show is a pair of tits or a close up of a pussy. "

Agree i get that. ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who send "wanna meet?" messages with no pics and no previous interaction.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Without naming names or breaking forum rules what are the things that always bring a wry smile to your face on Fab - eg double standards, crazy rules, the way different sexes are treated etc etc ...

Inspired by a profile I saw this morning saying no cocks pics guys as you’re more than just a cock - but had 8 public pictures which were ALL close up pics of their foof!"

I'm partial to a bit of condistency.

Saw someone profusely apologise to another poster a while back for insulting them.

5 posts down she insulted him again.

That made oi Larrf.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Condistency?

What the fuck is Condistency??????

Thank God this isn't an "I hate poor spelling thread....."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When someone gets told they are gorgeous. But all is on show is a pair of tits or a close up of a pussy.

You’re gorgeous

No. You mean my tits are gorgeous. Fanny pic available on request. "

There’s a photo of your tits?! I was admiring the denim.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"When someone gets told they are gorgeous. But all is on show is a pair of tits or a close up of a pussy.

You’re gorgeous

No. You mean my tits are gorgeous. Fanny pic available on request. "

Do people actually do that?

How does one go about asking for a fanny pic"?

Do they ask before or after asking for a face pic?

What do you think of someone who asks?

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

The OP that has posted the same thread every week for the last 10 years and makes the same spelling mistake in the title every time.

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Condistency?

What the fuck is Condistency??????

Thank God this isn't an "I hate poor spelling thread.....""

Ooh I love it when the spelling and grammar police correct people's mistakes and get it wrong themselves, it always raises a smile in me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who post asking for opinions on something but when given the answers if they don’t like the results they argue or ignore them. But also go on to insult anyone who disagrees with the answers they really wanted to hear x

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By *verageguy123Man
over a year ago

Selby

I like the what’s wrong with my profile or pics threads which are clearly just to get more views, or the please fab or thanks for fabbing new pics.

Please feel free to look at my profile now as I’ve only had 3 views so far today and I feel lonely lol

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

The same forum questions asked twice a day.

On the fuck/avoid the person above threads as soon as a lass puts something down it’s like fifty blokes race to be underneath her saying fuck, but only one of them gets the position! the rest are simply saying I’d fuck the guy above! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reactionary forum threads. I get it, one is upset about knife crime, though I'm not sure the mayor of London has a great deal to do with police numbers in Carlisle. Likewise vigilantism, go watch the cat burglar episode of the Simpsons.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The same forum questions asked twice a day.

On the fuck/avoid the person above threads as soon as a lass puts something down it’s like fifty blokes race to be underneath her saying fuck, but only one of them gets the position! the rest are simply saying I’d fuck the guy above! lol "

then most frantically backtracking and deleting their response as they don’t want anyone thinking they’ve got the ghey!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

So many of the ones posted above but to add a couple:

People who post pics "borrowed" from the internet that are looking for meets - how do they expect to explain that away when their cock doesn't measure up or that large freckle/birthmark under their boob isn't there?!

People who ask for profile advice yet never return to the thread or make the advised changes then appear a while later asking why they can't get meets.

People that say "if a man/woman* had asked this they'd have got a different answer" without realising that the number imbalance means that men will fall all over themselves to tell a woman what she wants to hear but will slag a guy off to jump ahead in the queue

* delete as appropriate

Men who say that other guys ruin the site for them - no they don't the only people they ruin it for is themselves

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Attention seekers that say they're posting a "brave" picture when they have others that are far more graphic/revealing already on show

Reverse psychology attention seeking with posts like "I'll just sit here quietly being ignored" on Hotlist/favourite forumite etc threads.

People that feel the need to declare they have no interest in a particular thread topic and add nothing else e.g. posting on a thread for bi females "I'm 100% straight" and that's it

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"The same forum questions asked twice a day.

On the fuck/avoid the person above threads as soon as a lass puts something down it’s like fifty blokes race to be underneath her saying fuck, but only one of them gets the position! the rest are simply saying I’d fuck the guy above! lol

then most frantically backtracking and deleting their response as they don’t want anyone thinking they’ve got the ghey! "

Oh god. I said 'Catch the ghey' the other day and the pitch forks came out.

Deploy the shield!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many of the ones posted above but to add a couple:

People who post pics "borrowed" from the internet that are looking for meets - how do they expect to explain that away when their cock doesn't measure up or that large freckle/birthmark under their boob isn't there "

I agree. The porn pics are hilarious as well as obvious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then men who very earnestly say they would Never let a woman down if she was to met them, instead of the last jerk who let her down. How does he know his car wont blow up on the way, his pet snake wont die the day before.... ?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"So many of the ones posted above but to add a couple:

People who post pics "borrowed" from the internet that are looking for meets - how do they expect to explain that away when their cock doesn't measure up or that large freckle/birthmark under their boob isn't there

I agree. The porn pics are hilarious as well as obvious."

Doesn't stop a lot being taken in by it though - Hot Pics can be proof of that - which is actually almost funnier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couples who think they're twice as wise as anyone else just because there's two of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Then men who very earnestly say they would Never let a woman down if she was to met them, instead of the last jerk who let her down. How does he know his car wont blow up on the way, his pet snake wont die the day before.... ? "

I’m still sad about poor Cedrick’s demise and I said sorry, can you stop going on about it now please?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The OP that has posted the same thread every week for the last 10 years and makes the same spelling mistake in the title every time. "

I know the one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those threads that ask for funny things about Fab - they make me laugh every couple of days

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Those threads that ask for funny things about Fab - they make me laugh every couple of days"

finally!!

I’d wagered it would come in replies 10 to 20 but it took until reply 41!

But we got there in the end with the ‘threads like this’ reply!

Which by coincidence makes this reply .... 42!!!

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

The ones where, a male rightly condemns a no-show, which isn't funny in the slightest then goes on to say that it spoil it for them...

No it doesn't, you spoil it for you.

Get your profile in order, be considerate in your messages, drop txt spk, observe what they want and mention what you can do for them, show a bit of class and imagination to your messages. Respect their rejection and move on, being something of interest will move people more than just having a list of your goals.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Those threads that ask for funny things about Fab - they make me laugh every couple of days

finally!!

I’d wagered it would come in replies 10 to 20 but it took until reply 41!

But we got there in the end with the ‘threads like this’ reply!

Which by coincidence makes this reply .... 42!!! "

Patience is key

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By *ottie_84Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Guys who won’t talk to people unless they have photos on their profile but then have no photos themselves

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By *irk Diggler 02Man
over a year ago

Swindon


"When someone gets told they are gorgeous. But all is on show is a pair of tits or a close up of a pussy.

Or no pictures at all, when i first joined i had no pics up. First 24 hours, over 100 messages some saying how good i looked "

C’mon Doris...You know everyone looks good as a silhouette!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Then men who very earnestly say they would Never let a woman down if she was to met them, instead of the last jerk who let her down. How does he know his car wont blow up on the way, his pet snake wont die the day before.... ?

I’m still sad about poor Cedrick’s demise and I said sorry, can you stop going on about it now please?! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many of the ones posted above but to add a couple:

People who post pics "borrowed" from the internet that are looking for meets - how do they expect to explain that away when their cock doesn't measure up or that large freckle/birthmark under their boob isn't there

I agree. The porn pics are hilarious as well as obvious.

Doesn't stop a lot being taken in by it though - Hot Pics can be proof of that - which is actually almost funnier "

Oops I've spoiled it for the pic fabbers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Then men who very earnestly say they would Never let a woman down if she was to met them, instead of the last jerk who let her down. How does he know his car wont blow up on the way, his pet snake wont die the day before.... ? "

Or the dead granddad has just died again

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London

beautiful young 20 yr old joins an hour ago, can accom and is into every kink going...has 20 veris already

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Female : “I was stood up” - general response “what are they crazy?! You’re so hot!!”

Male : “I was stood up” - general response “suck it up dude you whinging twat”"

Classic

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London

profile interests - cuckolding etc

message; do you like cuckolding

response; no not my thing at all

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By *VBethTV/TS
over a year ago

Chester

The number of winks and messages I get from people who are straight, looking for slim, 18-35, won't meet smokers. Don't have TV/TS or crossdressing in interests. Often even stating in the profile text that they don't like "chubbies" etc.

So what am I meant to do with a wink from you??

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By *eliciousKisserMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

....well there is this one profile pic that keeps coming up in my search result that almost always makes me chuckle. The lady in question is attempting to devour (almost dislocating her jaw in the process) what can only be described as a gigantic pork sword of epic proportions. I couldn’t resist asking her if it was really as big as the camera angle suggested and she politely replied that it was indeed enormous and that the owner was very careful at how he used it....

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By *W ChapMan
over a year ago

Swindon


"When an OP* starts a thread specifically asking for opinions and/or experiences but thereafter ignores every reply *except* those from people they clearly see as hot and therefore worthy of conversation.

* This can apply to OPs of both sexes."
This, this and more this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On profile text - won’t meet married / attached cheating bastards.

Display veris - from said married / attached cheating bastards...hmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wen a post is of sense but wen it isn't as then cos it wasn't and they didn't real ffs omg faf fxu pqi shambles ting wot of having it

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Condistency?

What the fuck is Condistency??????

Thank God this isn't an "I hate poor spelling thread....."

Ooh I love it when the spelling and grammar police correct people's mistakes and get it wrong themselves, it always raises a smile in me."

I love the grammar nazi threads, they'll inevitably shoot themselves in the foot somewhere in their moan about other people's poor grammar........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When someone gets told they are gorgeous. But all is on show is a pair of tits or a close up of a pussy.

Or no pictures at all, when i first joined i had no pics up. First 24 hours, over 100 messages some saying how good i looked

C’mon Doris...You know everyone looks good as a silhouette! "

Some pull it off a little better than others

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By *effrey45Man
over a year ago

Lytham

I walked in fucked every hole what a great cumslut and she took 2 good loads

Treat her with respect guys

Those Veris always make for good reading

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will fill in later on a profile over a year old. Now that’s procrastination !

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By *irenGuy70Man
over a year ago

Cirencester


"profile interests - cuckolding etc

message; do you like cuckolding

response; no not my thing at all

"

Or those people that have cuckholding on their profile - I always wonder if they mean cockholding or cuckolding

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Without naming names or breaking forum rules what are the things that always bring a wry smile to your face on Fab - eg double standards, crazy rules, the way different sexes are treated etc etc ...

Inspired by a profile I saw this morning saying no cocks pics guys as you’re more than just a cock - but had 8 public pictures which were ALL close up pics of their foof!"

People who spell consistency "condistency".

Wankers.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"So many of the ones posted above but to add a couple:

People who post pics "borrowed" from the internet that are looking for meets - how do they expect to explain that away when their cock doesn't measure up or that large freckle/birthmark under their boob isn't there

I agree. The porn pics are hilarious as well as obvious.

Doesn't stop a lot being taken in by it though - Hot Pics can be proof of that - which is actually almost funnier

Oops I've spoiled it for the pic fabbers "

How very dare we?!

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

[Removed by poster at 22/08/18 19:53:53]

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

Lampost-pissing contests

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The almost daily posts/threads about abusive messages.

Usually from people with next to no message filters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lampost-pissing contests "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""If you send me a friend request and we haven't spoken, I'll block you" was on a profile I got an unsolicited friend request from this morning "

All the time.

No message not even a photo fabbed. Just an add me!!!

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

Obvious hand-grenade threads

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"The almost daily posts/threads about abusive messages.

Usually from people with next to no message filters."

And when it's pointed out that perhaps they should use the filters, come up with 101 reasons why they can't.

Or won't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lampost-pissing contests "

I’m in!! And I bet I can write my name.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Azkaban isn’t a jolly place, we’ve brought you a hug, a nice brew and some chocolate custard creams

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People's short memories "

This drives me mad! How can someone forget that an hour ago I said I wasn't interested?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's consistency but with A D..

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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago

C'est moi Boudoir


"Then men who very earnestly say they would Never let a woman down if she was to met them, instead of the last jerk who let her down. How does he know his car wont blow up on the way, his pet snake wont die the day before.... ?

I’m still sad about poor Cedrick’s demise and I said sorry, can you stop going on about it now please?! "

Yes but turning up for a meet with a lifeless snake is never gonna go well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many times I get same message because some people are sad.

I get told am ugly fucking cunt because I told them no thank you.

The couple profiles which are of single men.

Profile is full of dick pics and says can't accommodate or travel. Duh!

Oh the best one was of some guys dog as a face photo

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By *atural-born-thrillerMan
over a year ago

oulton broad

When you message someone a polite yet flirtacious message and get one back saying nah your too old ...then a few hours later you get one back asking if your free .does that mean you impressed them or were the last choice x

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

'Please fab my pics, I want to be on hot pics' threads

Loons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Please fab my pics, I want to be on hot pics' threads

Loons"

This makes me think omg...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Please fab my pics, I want to be on hot pics' threads

"

Fabbed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The posts telling people who are debating/discussing/arguing (within forum rules) that they shouldn’t or it’s time to stop. Just because you don’t like it/can’t understand it or it’s not frivolous, does not mean it isn’t engaging, or of interest to those partaking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Half way through the conversation he says I am married does that bother you.

I just laugh it off because he hasn't read my profile.

Hey sexy,.... Are you horny, I say no but I will be with horns to butt you into fab times with crown of thorns .

Best way to be on here. Funny as fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funniest thread this week..... a straight guy asking for a woman to help suck cock in a gay club!!!

Fab gold

Floppsy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who show their ignorance by commenting on a serious thread with predictable inanity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People who show their ignorance by commenting on a serious thread with predictable inanity. "

You took the words from my mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People who show their ignorance by commenting on a serious thread with predictable inanity. "

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way guys don't read.

Its easy to just look at photo.

Gives a handout of fabswingers monthly hot pics lol

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By *nglishgent0069Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Fill in later.

Been on for over a year.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"Then men who very earnestly say they would Never let a woman down if she was to met them, instead of the last jerk who let her down. How does he know his car wont blow up on the way, his pet snake wont die the day before.... ?

I’m still sad about poor Cedrick’s demise and I said sorry, can you stop going on about it now please?!

Yes but turning up for a meet with a lifeless snake is never gonna go well "

Can play bury the snake - tons of fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When people use emojis to show the real meaning/intent behind their ambiguous words.

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