FabSwingers.com forum: Grudges

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do u hold a grudge when someone upsets or hurts or betrays you u or just draw a line under it and move on as if it never happened

Or do u change between the 2 untill u can get it out of your head and move on

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It depends what it was and how resilient I am feeling when it happens.

I forgive much but forget little.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't hold grudges- itshe a negative emotion. I prefer to move forward and live my life well x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I don’t - I forgive but don’t forget

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to forgive and move on but some things can’t be forgiven

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It depends. I nurse some very deep grudges for particularly egregious wrongs. Would not piss on them if they were on fire.

But mostly I make a mental note and adjust my behaviour accordingly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite depends on the situation, doesnt it?

I think most people feel the most uncomfortable is when they’re being themself since the beginning

And at some point their partner declares to separate ways

That’s the most frustrating part of the unknown.

Unknown is what keeps us thinking.

Over the years what I’ve learnt is, fuck off.

Different opinion, different this, don’t agree with whatever, fuck off.

Got no time to waste.

Move on, seek better experience.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Why do you ask Mr Finger?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes me a little while to get over it - but I get over it eventually

I had a really shit day today and

I need a break from one of the women I work with!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do you ask Mr Finger?"

Im doing a servey for sydney university

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grudges are for life!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Grudges are for life!"

No that's puppies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Grudges are for life!

No that's puppies."

Ha ha ha ha touché

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I don't. Even if I feel I really, really should I still just let it die peacefully. Much more calming on your soul.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Very rarely to almost never, don't need that angst in the system for too long.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone wrongs me they don't forget it ever

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

It’s unhealthy to hold grudges and life is far too short for that all that malarkey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That depends, for the most part I forget and move on. But there are some things that I can’t forgive or forget where my children are concerned x

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Depends on what's happened,

I try to forgive and forget but sometimes stay with you.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Well it depends on who and what it’s about.

Some are easier to forgive but hell hath no fury as they say and if you cross me then I’ll block from every app I have them on.

I’m not an ice queen and I have been known to unblock as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm my personal experience holding a grudge only hurts you, not the other person, I have learnt it's better for the soul to forgive.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/08/18 21:16:17]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha ha love how the fab forum is suddenly such a virtuous forgiving place. You really wouldn't think to read other comments on other threads

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

"Do u hold a grudge when someone upsets or hurts or betrays you u or just draw a line under it and move on as if it never happened

Or do u change between the 2 untill u can get it out of your head and move on"

I just roll my eyes, shake my head, shrug my shoulders and move on. You had me. Now you don't.

Que Sera Sera.

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By *aenMan
over a year ago

Here and There

Sometimes, well I am Northern Irish.

But more often than not these days I don’t, Karma will catch up with them and I’ve got better things to be doing with my time and energy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do u hold a grudge when someone upsets or hurts or betrays you u or just draw a line under it and move on as if it never happened

Or do u change between the 2 untill u can get it out of your head and move on"

The amount of people who have blocked me and troll me everytime is post something is alarming!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't hold grudges- itshe a negative emotion. I prefer to move forward and live my life well x"

Exactly this life's too short to keep looking back on the bad stuff.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I don’t hold grudges, it’s a useless emotion, it’s better to just forget it all and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t hold grudges, it’s a useless emotion, it’s better to just forget it all and move on

You did troll me damn good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will hold out for a little while until I know I've got my point across, but not one to hold a grudge for long.

Life is too short for grudges, anger and bad feelings.

Best to draw a line and move on. Depending on the person, sometimes things can't go back to how they were and you need to move forwards without them, but you can let go of any negative feelings regardless.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Life is too short for grudges. Depending on what's happened and who it is I'm prepared to forgive but they would slip down my Christmas card list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't bear grudges and forgive easily. Everyone gets a second chance but no one gets a third. After that I'm done with you and moving on but with no bitterness. That just damages your soul and I won't let anyone do that to me.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

If you have the right story then yes you are well within your rights but life is too short.

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By *ymaleMan
over a year ago

nr Bradford

Don't get mad, get even

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't get mad, get even

Nooooo, why waste your energy. Forgive and forget. Makes the world a better place

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

On here, nah. Might point out discrepancies in people's posts but that's not holding a grudge.

On real life I don't tend to either. Have forgiven some pretty shitty behaviour. Not forgotten just forgiven.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A finger a grudge is good enough to eat lol

Hold ballroom.

If I held grudges then I would always be stuck. Sure enough life is a bitch and no... I don't

I am fuckwithable it's means nothing people say or do bothers me.

Kind regards

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"I don’t hold grudges, it’s a useless emotion, it’s better to just forget it all and move on

You did troll me damn good

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By *irestorm 500Couple
over a year ago

coventry

No I make sure that I think of a fantastic come back, karma can be a bitch x storm x

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Don't get mad, get even

No just keep your dignity and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do u hold a grudge when someone upsets or hurts or betrays you u or just draw a line under it and move on as if it never happened

Or do u change between the 2 untill u can get it out of your head and move on

I just roll my eyes, shake my head, shrug my shoulders and move on. You had me. Now you don't.

Que Sara Sara."

FTFY

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By *carlet_heavenWoman
over a year ago

somewhere in the sticks

I don't hold grudges, but I do keep tight hold of my 'hit list'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't hold a grudge per say. But if someone were to betray or hurt me, i would likely consider them toxic to me and cut them out of my life. It's not about being a bitch, but valuing myself enough to understand that i deserve better than to be treated like that.

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Terrible for it

Keep them close tho still..

Always take revenge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wreak my revenge if someone has wronged someone close to me. Then I’m good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to say I don't hold a single grudge but it'd be a lie. Ive still got grudges against people I'll never see again!

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

"Do u hold a grudge when someone upsets or hurts or betrays you u or just draw a line under it and move on as if it never happened

Or do u change between the 2 untill u can get it out of your head and move on

I just roll my eyes, shake my head, shrug my shoulders and move on. You had me. Now you don't.

Que Sara Sara.

FTFY"

lolol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't hold a grudge per say. But if someone were to betray or hurt me, i would likely consider them toxic to me and cut them out of my life. It's not about being a bitch, but valuing myself enough to understand that i deserve better than to be treated like that. "

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"Do u hold a grudge when someone upsets or hurts or betrays you u or just draw a line under it and move on as if it never happened

Or do u change between the 2 untill u can get it out of your head and move on"

I depends on what happened and why.

I flit between all three.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I don't hold grudges. I find holding on to hate is self harming.

Just kill the fuckers..... its a great release.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think many can just move on and pretend it didn't happen without some distance of time OP.

Otherwise how do you recognise the pain or hurt,and process it.

But grudges. They are more long term and all that negativity only hurts you not those you may hold a grudge against.

Why let the actions of others cause you ongoing pain....

Tomorrow will always be a new day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do u hold a grudge when someone upsets or hurts or betrays you u or just draw a line under it and move on as if it never happened

Or do u change between the 2 untill u can get it out of your head and move on"

I tend to bide my time and choose my moment. Revenge would have to be in balance an appropriate or not at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't hold grudges and I forgive too easily - I have to be burnt numerous times before I give up

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By *K430Man
over a year ago

Tipperary

Don't bother with grudges, depending on level of betrayal either cut them out completely , or face them about it . If I am the one betrayed why should I be the only one feeling like shit , share the pain . Don't allow it to fester though .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Holding onto grudges isn’t good for inner peace, a lot easier to dispatch the person who pissed me off in the 1st place.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By *Cocksucker84Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Depends on the seriousness. Lucky to have a lot of friends and lucky enough to have only felt betrayal a couple of times. People I don't like better beware but I try to build bridges with people I care about. Doesn't mean relationship will be exactly the same after though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh yes I do. I haven't spoken to my sister since 1999 because she said she put one sugar in my coffee while she has actually put two !

The worst in it is that I don't drink coffee

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh yes I do. I haven't spoken to my sister since 1999 because she said she put one sugar in my coffee while she has actually put two !

The worst in it is that I don't drink coffee "

That my friend is crossing the line and pre millenium too she should know better to do that before all technology failed

Dont blame you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh yes I do. I haven't spoken to my sister since 1999 because she said she put one sugar in my coffee while she has actually put two !

The worst in it is that I don't drink coffee

That my friend is crossing the line and pre millenium too she should know better to do that before all technology failed

Dont blame you"

At least someone who gets me

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

Depends on what they did really like if it was serious I would hold a grudge but if it wasn’t then I wouldn’t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Holding a grudge is like drinking poison yourself and expecting the other person to die. It only hurts you the other person carries on regardless

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I don’t hold grudges. If someone does something that is going to lead me to holding a grudge I simply cut them out of my life and that way the grudge goes with them and I move on, life is too short for that shit as I was reminded only this week at a very unexpected funeral.

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

A question for those who are saying that they don't hold a grudge, but would cut people out of their lives instead.

How is that different from holding a grudge?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on a lot of things. It's never just black and white IMO

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

"A question for those who are saying that they don't hold a grudge, but would cut people out of their lives instead.

How is that different from holding a grudge?"

Simple, for me personally, I cannot speak for others, to actively hold an ongoing grudge against someone that person has to be active in my life. If they leave my life they take the grudge with them thus relieving me of the grudge simples. People try and make life out to be a lot more complicated than it is, it’s not, unless you let it be.

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"A question for those who are saying that they don't hold a grudge, but would cut people out of their lives instead.

How is that different from holding a grudge?

Is it that they leave your life, or you cut them out of it? To cut someone out, is an action on your behalf which you have to maintain. There must surely be the worry that they would try an worm their way back with an apology?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A question for those who are saying that they don't hold a grudge, but would cut people out of their lives instead.

How is that different from holding a grudge?"

It depends on what has happened. I can only relate to one scenario personal to me where a friendship broke down over a period of time, I think we both held onto our own beliefs of eBay was happening which turned into a bit of a grudge match between us, became hardwork.

Wasn’t an easy decision to make, but I let go of the friendship and I have to say I have no regrets, it was like a weight had been lifted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A question for those who are saying that they don't hold a grudge, but would cut people out of their lives instead.

How is that different from holding a grudge?

Wasn’t an easy decision to make, but I let go of the friendship and I have to say I have no regrets, it was like a weight had been lifted."

*eBay wtf = What.

bloody phone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A question for those who are saying that they don't hold a grudge, but would cut people out of their lives instead.

How is that different from holding a grudge?"

Holding a grudge means you still have feelings involved. Cutting someone out means you are moving on and letting all feelings go.

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By *horecruxCouple
over a year ago

SE4

Find a new muse helps

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"A question for those who are saying that they don't hold a grudge, but would cut people out of their lives instead.

How is that different from holding a grudge?

Holding a grudge means you still have feelings involved. Cutting someone out means you are moving on and letting all feelings go."

Thanks (and sorry for adding a sub question)

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

I don't hold grudges as its a waste of my time and energy. Although sometimes it's difficult not to especially if you are stood up 3 times in one evening which happened to me.

Despite the usual first thoughts of revenge and payback I move on. I don't forget people though if they've messed me around, depending on the severity of the issue they become a smaller part of my life and I'm more careful with them in the future.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"Do u hold a grudge when someone upsets or hurts or betrays you u or just draw a line under it and move on as if it never happened

Or do u change between the 2 untill u can get it out of your head and move on"

I hold all grudges and I cash them in and I get my vengeance

I will never forget nor will I forgive

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"A question for those who are saying that they don't hold a grudge, but would cut people out of their lives instead.

How is that different from holding a grudge?"

It depends on why actions were taken and what feelings were involved.

e.g. I could no longer be interested in having a person in my life as I don't want their company or I don't like what happens when they are around.

That doesn't mean I bear them ill will after I have made the decision to split. It doesn't mean I am harmed emotionally by them or that I seek revenge for something.

There are no grudges just reasoned beliefs and actions. Self preservation or planning for happy futures if you like.

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