FabSwingers.com forum: Ratio

By *riplef OP Man
over a year ago

Burntwood

Hey all, Sorry for the moan, I just genuinely want to ask... Okay so I get that the guy/girl ratio on here is extremely against us guys

And I don't doubt for a second that girls get constant one-liner messages and stuff, but some of us genuinely do read profiles and send a message because we like what we see. I always include a face pic etc and I know that I may not be what that particular person is looking for, but why not just be polite and say thanks but no thanks and maybe even give some advice. I completely understand how frustrating it is getting 'hey, wanna fuck' messages and all that lol - its the only messages I usually get (from guys despite me being straight). Not looking for pity or shit, just acknowledgement for not being one of the one-liner, copy and paste pricks lol. Cheers guys. PS Wish I was a woman

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let’s swap for the day then

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

If you reply it opens the door for more messages. If you don't you get messages about how rude you are and/or abuse.

I know there are women who reply to every message and say that this never happens to them but I also know many it does happen to.

In Fab world it's just another way of saying no.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It must be really frustrating.

Not sure there's much can be done about I'm afraid.

You could block single men from messaging you, that would alleviate one source of irritation.

Hope you get some responses soon.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

What you need to remember OP is there are various other factors at play:

Women get a lot more messages than men and even with filters that can amount to 20+ a day - if they then have to read each one, take a look at the profile, decide if they're interested and reply even allowing 3 minutes for each one that's an hour gone which could have been better spent elsewhere or on connections they do want to reply to.

Then there's the fear that a rejection will result in an abusive message back along the lines of "didn't want to meet you anyway" (but not put quite as politely).

Then you have that once a reply has been sent that then by passes any future filters that user may set.

So you start to get an idea why responses aren't always sent, even if it is a polite "thanks but no thanks"?

Best thing you can do is accept that no reply means no thanks - some guys even go as far as deleting their sent messages once sent and if they then get a reply it's a nice bonus/surprise

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a way to make your last sentence become a reality

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

right now I'm not meeting

it says so on my profile

most of the messages I respond to by saying I'm not meeting as per my profile say 'well I saw that and thought I would message anyway'

it only stops when I hide the profile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riplef OP Man
over a year ago

Burntwood

I'd love to! lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riplef OP Man
over a year ago

Burntwood

Yeah that's what I mean though, If someone has totally disregarded your profile then fair enough ignore it. But I'm just saying that sometimes people have actually paid attention lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you reply it opens the door for more messages. If you don't you get messages about how rude you are and/or abuse.

I know there are women who reply to every message and say that this never happens to them but I also know many it does happen to.

In Fab world it's just another way of saying no."

This

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A female friend on here used to receive hundreds of messages a day. She'd have ground her fingers down trying to reply to all. Even if that was just to say, thanks but no thanks. Don't fret about it fella. Have a wank and relax

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The sender chooses to send and the receiver chooses to delete, it's a site all about choices!

Some people think they've read persons profile and are what they're looking for but some read what they want to and ignore that bits that mean the reciever wouldn't be interested. Some also copy n paste the same well thought out message 3 or 4 times to same person! These are reasons to delete and block

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

If they read your message and straight delete it, block them and move on. She’s not interested and you don’t need her profile clogging up your local searches in future.

If she doesn’t read your message within two weeks, her inbox is chocker and your message is at the bottom of the barrel, so delete it and send another.

Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Yeah that's what I mean though, If someone has totally disregarded your profile then fair enough ignore it. But I'm just saying that sometimes people have actually paid attention lol "

Fab need to install a 'Thanks but no thanks' button - if we reply, we often get abuse, so sadly many of us stop replying to avoid that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riplef OP Man
over a year ago

Burntwood

"A female friend on here used to receive hundreds of messages a day. She'd have ground her fingers down trying to reply to all. Even if that was just to say, thanks but no thanks. Don't fret about it fella. Have a wank and relax

Haha Yeah I get what you mean, and I totally realise how 'bad' it is for women, but in between all the copy-and-pastes or one-liners, there is a message that someone has actually thought about. I really think this site is good to be honest, just obviously doesn't work so well for us guys.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riplef OP Man
over a year ago

Burntwood

"Yeah that's what I mean though, If someone has totally disregarded your profile then fair enough ignore it. But I'm just saying that sometimes people have actually paid attention lol

Fab need to install a 'Thanks but no thanks' button - if we reply, we often get abuse, so sadly many of us stop replying to avoid that."

Guys are the worst lol. I can't understand why someone would give abuse to a person because they are not interested lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they read your message and straight delete it, block them and move on. She’s not interested and you don’t need her profile clogging up your local searches in future.

If she doesn’t read your message within two weeks, her inbox is chocker and your message is at the bottom of the barrel, so delete it and send another.

Good luck

Don't send another, if she's going to reply she will. Repeat senders before I have chance to read get blocked.......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Op i will tell you what i do. I ignore all messages apart from the well thought out ones that have obviously read my profile. These get a polite message back and a compliment on their message

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah that's what I mean though, If someone has totally disregarded your profile then fair enough ignore it. But I'm just saying that sometimes people have actually paid attention lol

Fab need to install a 'Thanks but no thanks' button - if we reply, we often get abuse, so sadly many of us stop replying to avoid that.

Guys are the worst lol. I can't understand why someone would give abuse to a person because they are not interested lol "

Women do it too x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riplef OP Man
over a year ago

Burntwood

"Op i will tell you what i do. I ignore all messages apart from the well thought out ones that have obviously read my profile. These get a polite message back and a compliment on their message"

That's exactly what I was meaning. You are one of the very rare people who will do that. It means a lot to people to just be acknowledged sometimes. Even constructive criticism goes a long way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Women are odd creatures well i am. I.cant stand being remessaged if i havent replied yet the very first guy i met from here was of the back of him sending me a repeat message and me saying no thankyou

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Yeah that's what I mean though, If someone has totally disregarded your profile then fair enough ignore it. But I'm just saying that sometimes people have actually paid attention lol "

If they'd paid attention to a profile saying not meeting they wouldn't then send a message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I always reply to a well written message as they are so rare to receive...even if they are not for me .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Thank you for breathing in and out.

Thank you for walking on two legs.

Thank you for wanting sex.

Thank you for joining the site.

Thank you for sending a message.

Thank you for reading profiles.

Thank you for writing more than one line.

Thank you for doing what you are supposed to.

Thank you for picking your toys up.

Thank you man.

Thank you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP just because you chose to message someone doesn't give you any rights to a reply.

It is what it is to the recipient - a random message nothing more. You may think you are special but as the song says:

"It ain't necessarily so"

Just move on mate it's how it is on Fabs.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Nobody is under any obligation to reply to a message they never asked to receive.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread