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Farting during a meet

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...

First meet and and really getting my strides in and she relaxes so much she farts, silent but actually made me cry it was that nasty!

So pungent you could actually taste it.

Laughed about but killed the mood instantly! The smell lingered so I departed after a short while.

Ever been in same situation, and what was your reaction or what do you think you would do?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a gent

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

You turned down sex over a fact. You must be knee deep in clunge?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Thankfully, I’ve not suffered either as the unfortunate recipient nor the vulgar perpetrator in this context........yet

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

next time take a peg with you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

Rule number 1. No matter how much they beg and plead, just don't pull their finger!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the type of fart.

If she lift her leg and let the fart goes out of her rectum I would have excused myself and tell her that I need to go to the loo and leave forever.

If it was an accident because she had a spicy curry last night, I'd act like I havent heard anything

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once farted in a bath

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First meet and and really getting my strides in and she relaxes so much she farts, silent but actually made me cry it was that nasty!

So pungent you could actually taste it.

Laughed about but killed the mood instantly! The smell lingered so I departed after a short while.

Ever been in same situation, and what was your reaction or what do you think you would do?"

Farts don’t linger that long. I’m sure you would have gotten over it after a short while. I would feel awful if I did that accidentally and a guy left because of it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Rule number 1. No matter how much they beg and plead, just don't pull their finger! "

This

Cracked

Me

Up

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wait until they leave the room, then I do it under the duvet to mask the scent.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...

When you first meet someone would you fart openly?

You guys are so quick to criticise lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

It happens, it's embarrassing, so what. She must be devastated you've decided yo write about all over Fab

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hubnwife_36dd_ukCouple
over a year ago

chester


"First meet and and really getting my strides in and she relaxes so much she farts, silent but actually made me cry it was that nasty!

So pungent you could actually taste it.

Laughed about but killed the mood instantly! The smell lingered so I departed after a short while.

Ever been in same situation, and what was your reaction or what do you think you would do?"

Always nice to see how romance isn't dead, even in a Fab meet

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh seriously... it happens. Unless they do it on purpose I just pretend I didnt notice.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"When you first meet someone would you fart openly?

You guys are so quick to criticise lol "

Good Lord no! That’s would be highly deplorable and entirely unacceptable given the circumstances of a first meet.

......it is absolutely customary on the second though.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"I wait until they leave the room, then I do it under the duvet to mask the scent. "

The problem is when you lift the covers or fan .. you get to reap the rewards of your trumpeting

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you first meet someone would you fart openly?

You guys are so quick to criticise lol "

I’ve had guys do it, not much of a turn on but I wouldn’t leave because of it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as they didn’t follow through I’d carry on...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway


"I once farted in a bath "

I blame the Quark

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It happens, it's embarrassing, so what. She must be devastated you've decided yo write about all over Fab "

. Bet she feels fantastic now!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago

Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;)

You should have asked her to play you a tune... What’s wrong with you man

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"Oh seriously... it happens. Unless they do it on purpose I just pretend I didnt notice."

Sometimes you can’t pretend... it just stinks to much!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you first meet someone would you fart openly?

You guys are so quick to criticise lol "

I don’t really fart openly with anyone, if one happens to slip out then so be it - it’s a pardon me and carry on regardless, no need to make a song & dance over it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

An ex of mine told me a rather delightful story that her ex used to love Dutch oven’ing her prior to sex.

Unfortunately for him however, she was not exactly turned on by said form of gaseous foreplay.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you light a match and blow it out the smell dissapears instantly

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"When you first meet someone would you fart openly?

You guys are so quick to criticise lol "

When I first meet someone it's is usually in a public place so probably not. I might nip to the loo and let rip though.

If it's a first sex meet I'd try my hardest not to but if I did and he started a thread about it I'd be pretty

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I wait until they leave the room, then I do it under the duvet to mask the scent.

The problem is when you lift the covers or fan .. you get to reap the rewards of your trumpeting "

That's why you push her head under the duvet

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"First meet and and really getting my strides in and she relaxes so much she farts, silent but actually made me cry it was that nasty!

So pungent you could actually taste it.

Laughed about but killed the mood instantly! The smell lingered so I departed after a short while.

Ever been in same situation, and what was your reaction or what do you think you would do?

Farts don’t linger that long"

They can

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"next time take a peg with you "

Or a cork

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

See, now I'm a bit of a fart queen as I'm sure some of you may have noticed. They make me laugh (if I do them, the rest of you are sick, sick I tell ya)

During intimate time, nooooo (unless it's a queef, they can't be helped) I'm pretty sure most can feel a bum fart brewing. Go let that fucker rip elsewhere, or if one does sneak out, open a window.

Everyone farts, some more than others.

If I let a stinker go, I'd be proper mortified and would drag the other person out the room, and go back to the battle ground armed with febreeze.

Luckily mine only smell of I've got an upset gut.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As long as they didn’t follow through I’d carry on..."

I did that once, I had only been with him for 2 months. He was snoozing and I thought I would be ok. Oops. He married me anyway

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Farts are funny

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I wait until they leave the room, then I do it under the duvet to mask the scent.

The problem is when you lift the covers or fan .. you get to reap the rewards of your trumpeting "

That's known as a bouncing betty.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I once farted in a bath

I blame the Quark"

I haven't eaten quark since I stopped training

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But honestly, if you're going to lick someone where they wee from and get all hot and heavy with bodily fluids, then what's a bit of wind between friends?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago

Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;)


"if you light a match and blow it out the smell dissapears instantly "

Or your eyebrows do

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I don't really have words...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

And once we're mates, I'll sit on your lap and do it (clothed) just so ya know.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And once we're mates, I'll sit on your lap and do it (clothed) just so ya know. "

Offftttt.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I don't really have words... "

I didn't have air the night you had a curry

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First meet and and really getting my strides in and she relaxes so much she farts, silent but actually made me cry it was that nasty!

So pungent you could actually taste it.

Laughed about but killed the mood instantly! The smell lingered so I departed after a short while.

Ever been in same situation, and what was your reaction or what do you think you would do?"

Maybe she did it on purpose to get rid you. The lengths people go to

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happens

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"And once we're mates, I'll sit on your lap and do it (clothed) just so ya know.

Offftttt. "

I'm not even from tooting... it's a fart joke!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago

Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;)


"And once we're mates, I'll sit on your lap and do it (clothed) just so ya know. "

My kinda woman.. Helps warm up your cold bits for you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"When you first meet someone would you fart openly?

You guys are so quick to criticise lol

I don’t really fart openly with anyone, if one happens to slip out then so be it - it’s a pardon me and carry on regardless, no need to make a song & dance over it."

I’m not one to fart in public openly, but of course one slips out at times unexpectedly.

No matter how attractive someone is, a bad fart or smell can really put you off them and their bedroom curtains lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *pepepipoxMan
over a year ago

London


"I wait until they leave the room, then I do it under the duvet to mask the scent.

The problem is when you lift the covers or fan .. you get to reap the rewards of your trumpeting "

The so-called "Dutch oven"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ammyDodgaMan
over a year ago

Nottingham/and everywhere my location says i am ;)

It’s so wrong, but so right ( I am twisted ) but there’s no finer feeling than walking down a crowded aisle in a supermarket and letting an SBD go.

That internal pride as you round the corner smiling

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"I wait until they leave the room, then I do it under the duvet to mask the scent.

The problem is when you lift the covers or fan .. you get to reap the rewards of your trumpeting

That's known as a bouncing betty. "

Bwahahaha !! Not heard that before

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *idlandiaMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

[Removed by poster at 09/08/18 23:17:07]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"When you first meet someone would you fart openly?

You guys are so quick to criticise lol

I don’t really fart openly with anyone, if one happens to slip out then so be it - it’s a pardon me and carry on regardless, no need to make a song & dance over it.

I’m not one to fart in public openly, but of course one slips out at times unexpectedly.

No matter how attractive someone is, a bad fart or smell can really put you off them and their bedroom curtains lol "

Dude you're 39, you must have someone shit on your dick by now. Turning down sex because of a fart is like leaving a restaurant because you don't like the table cloth.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"What a gent "

You would of left too if you smelt it!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I wait until they leave the room, then I do it under the duvet to mask the scent.

The problem is when you lift the covers or fan .. you get to reap the rewards of your trumpeting

That's known as a bouncing betty.

Bwahahaha !! Not heard that before "

Head under the covers is a Dutch oven.

Unexpected nostril full of unexpected concealed guff is a bouncing betty

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you first meet someone would you fart openly?

You guys are so quick to criticise lol

I don’t really fart openly with anyone, if one happens to slip out then so be it - it’s a pardon me and carry on regardless, no need to make a song & dance over it.

I’m not one to fart in public openly, but of course one slips out at times unexpectedly.

No matter how attractive someone is, a bad fart or smell can really put you off them and their bedroom curtains lol "

If I really fancied them then I would probably think it was even funnier. I certainly wouldn’t go off them. Unless they did it all the time at inappropriate moments.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where ever you may be let your wind flow free the end good night

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I don't really have words...

I didn't have air the night you had a curry "

Twat! Coriander. It's an acquired taste.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"When you first meet someone would you fart openly?

You guys are so quick to criticise lol

I don’t really fart openly with anyone, if one happens to slip out then so be it - it’s a pardon me and carry on regardless, no need to make a song & dance over it.

I’m not one to fart in public openly, but of course one slips out at times unexpectedly.

No matter how attractive someone is, a bad fart or smell can really put you off them and their bedroom curtains lol

Dude you're 39, you must have someone shit on your dick by now. Turning down sex because of a fart is like leaving a restaurant because you don't like the table cloth. "

That’s a fettish I’m not ever going to participate in my dick gets covered up with every plunge !

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What a gent

You would of left too if you smelt it!"

Seriously? It’s just a smell. It goes after a while. I’m sure you do it yourself. You’re now making a bigger deal than you should.

I used a strap on with someone and they hadn’t prepared properly as it was a spontaneous moment. It wasn’t pretty but did I make a big deal? No! It wasn’t pleasant but I was mature about it and didn’t want to embarrass the person.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I don't really have words...

I didn't have air the night you had a curry

Twat! Coriander. It's an acquired taste. "

And I was chewing it from 30 feet

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"As long as they didn’t follow through I’d carry on..."

You lady are a trooper !!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First meet and and really getting my strides in and she relaxes so much she farts, silent but actually made me cry it was that nasty!

So pungent you could actually taste it.

Laughed about but killed the mood instantly! The smell lingered so I departed after a short while.

Ever been in same situation, and what was your reaction or what do you think you would do?

Maybe she did it on purpose to get rid you. The lengths people go to "

Omg lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Scented candles ain't all about romance, they have other purposes too

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...

[Removed by poster at 09/08/18 23:20:44]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I don't really have words...

I didn't have air the night you had a curry

Twat! Coriander. It's an acquired taste.

And I was chewing it from 30 feet "

Miss you!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"Scented candles ain't all about romance, they have other purposes too

"

Someone that farts during sex ??

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"What a gent

You would of left too if you smelt it!

Seriously? It’s just a smell. It goes after a while. I’m sure you do it yourself. You’re now making a bigger deal than you should.

I used a strap on with someone and they hadn’t prepared properly as it was a spontaneous moment. It wasn’t pretty but did I make a big deal? No! It wasn’t pleasant but I was mature about it and didn’t want to embarrass the person. "

I dissected a lab rat once and pierced the kidney, pungent smell that I can remember 15 years later. No big deal on this incidence currently but saying somethings stay with you many years and this is defo one of them!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I don't really have words...

I didn't have air the night you had a curry

Twat! Coriander. It's an acquired taste.

And I was chewing it from 30 feet

Miss you! "

I'll be out soon hopefully. My foot is finally better! Xxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What a gent

You would of left too if you smelt it!

Seriously? It’s just a smell. It goes after a while. I’m sure you do it yourself. You’re now making a bigger deal than you should.

I used a strap on with someone and they hadn’t prepared properly as it was a spontaneous moment. It wasn’t pretty but did I make a big deal? No! It wasn’t pleasant but I was mature about it and didn’t want to embarrass the person.

I dissected a lab rat once and pierced the kidney, pungent smell that I can remember 15 years later. No big deal on this incidence currently but saying somethings stay with you many years and this is defo one of them!"

Get over it, it was a fart.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *illnatMan
over a year ago

wherever i need to be

Don’t know if it’s been said yet as I cannae be arsed reading all the comments however..... wherever ya may be, let yer wind blaw free.

It’s natural, it happens and it’s bloody funny.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I don't really have words...

I didn't have air the night you had a curry

Twat! Coriander. It's an acquired taste.

And I was chewing it from 30 feet

Miss you!

I'll be out soon hopefully. My foot is finally better! Xxx"

Yay for Princess Peach's foot!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"next time take a peg with you "

To use as a butt plug!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What a gent

You would of left too if you smelt it!

Seriously? It’s just a smell. It goes after a while. I’m sure you do it yourself. You’re now making a bigger deal than you should.

I used a strap on with someone and they hadn’t prepared properly as it was a spontaneous moment. It wasn’t pretty but did I make a big deal? No! It wasn’t pleasant but I was mature about it and didn’t want to embarrass the person. "

That's one of those moments where someone's fucking you up the arse and then they stop and you look around and they're gone and just left the strap-on in your arse haha

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"What a gent

You would of left too if you smelt it!

Seriously? It’s just a smell. It goes after a while. I’m sure you do it yourself. You’re now making a bigger deal than you should.

I used a strap on with someone and they hadn’t prepared properly as it was a spontaneous moment. It wasn’t pretty but did I make a big deal? No! It wasn’t pleasant but I was mature about it and didn’t want to embarrass the person.

That's one of those moments where someone's fucking you up the arse and then they stop and you look around and they're gone and just left the strap-on in your arse haha "

Does that happen often? Just out of interest...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What a gent

You would of left too if you smelt it!

Seriously? It’s just a smell. It goes after a while. I’m sure you do it yourself. You’re now making a bigger deal than you should.

I used a strap on with someone and they hadn’t prepared properly as it was a spontaneous moment. It wasn’t pretty but did I make a big deal? No! It wasn’t pleasant but I was mature about it and didn’t want to embarrass the person.

That's one of those moments where someone's fucking you up the arse and then they stop and you look around and they're gone and just left the strap-on in your arse haha "

I was tempted. It was a one off. He’s super clean but with no prep, it’s possibly going to be a little messy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What a gent

You would of left too if you smelt it!

Seriously? It’s just a smell. It goes after a while. I’m sure you do it yourself. You’re now making a bigger deal than you should.

I used a strap on with someone and they hadn’t prepared properly as it was a spontaneous moment. It wasn’t pretty but did I make a big deal? No! It wasn’t pleasant but I was mature about it and didn’t want to embarrass the person.

That's one of those moments where someone's fucking you up the arse and then they stop and you look around and they're gone and just left the strap-on in your arse haha

Does that happen often? Just out of interest... "

To me? Or just in general?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But honestly, if you're going to lick someone where they wee from and get all hot and heavy with bodily fluids, then what's a bit of wind between friends? "

You were fucking a stranger - just laugh and lighten the moment.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"What a gent

You would of left too if you smelt it!

Seriously? It’s just a smell. It goes after a while. I’m sure you do it yourself. You’re now making a bigger deal than you should.

I used a strap on with someone and they hadn’t prepared properly as it was a spontaneous moment. It wasn’t pretty but did I make a big deal? No! It wasn’t pleasant but I was mature about it and didn’t want to embarrass the person.

That's one of those moments where someone's fucking you up the arse and then they stop and you look around and they're gone and just left the strap-on in your arse haha

Does that happen often? Just out of interest...

To me? Or just in general? "

Have you surveyed 100 people... Is this gonna be one of those obscure answers on Family Fortunes?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"But honestly, if you're going to lick someone where they wee from and get all hot and heavy with bodily fluids, then what's a bit of wind between friends?

You were fucking a stranger - just laugh and light a match "

FTFY

Farts are funny.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *idlandiaMan
over a year ago

Birmingham


"What a gent

You would of left too if you smelt it!

Seriously? It’s just a smell. It goes after a while. I’m sure you do it yourself. You’re now making a bigger deal than you should.

I used a strap on with someone and they hadn’t prepared properly as it was a spontaneous moment. It wasn’t pretty but did I make a big deal? No! It wasn’t pleasant but I was mature about it and didn’t want to embarrass the person.

That's one of those moments where someone's fucking you up the arse and then they stop and you look around and they're gone and just left the strap-on in your arse haha

Does that happen often? Just out of interest...

To me? Or just in general?

Have you surveyed 100 people... Is this gonna be one of those obscure answers on Family Fortunes? "

I really really hope so!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What was that about real men?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My farts still don't smell.

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"What a gent

You would of left too if you smelt it!

Seriously? It’s just a smell. It goes after a while. I’m sure you do it yourself. You’re now making a bigger deal than you should.

I used a strap on with someone and they hadn’t prepared properly as it was a spontaneous moment. It wasn’t pretty but did I make a big deal? No! It wasn’t pleasant but I was mature about it and didn’t want to embarrass the person.

That's one of those moments where someone's fucking you up the arse and then they stop and you look around and they're gone and just left the strap-on in your arse haha

Does that happen often? Just out of interest...

To me? Or just in general?

Have you surveyed 100 people... Is this gonna be one of those obscure answers on Family Fortunes?

I really really hope so! "

Lol I was rolling with the comment about strap on stil in arse and no one there!!! Funny as fork

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"My farts still don't smell."

Note to self.... I’m smelling the shit all over again. Silent but deadly type of lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What a gent

You would of left too if you smelt it!

Seriously? It’s just a smell. It goes after a while. I’m sure you do it yourself. You’re now making a bigger deal than you should.

I used a strap on with someone and they hadn’t prepared properly as it was a spontaneous moment. It wasn’t pretty but did I make a big deal? No! It wasn’t pleasant but I was mature about it and didn’t want to embarrass the person.

That's one of those moments where someone's fucking you up the arse and then they stop and you look around and they're gone and just left the strap-on in your arse haha

Does that happen often? Just out of interest...

To me? Or just in general?

Have you surveyed 100 people... Is this gonna be one of those obscure answers on Family Fortunes?

I really really hope so!

Lol I was rolling with the comment about strap on stil in arse and no one there!!! Funny as fork"

Believe me, if there has been a quick release strap, I would have left it there and gone.

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By *inkyChrissy99TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

Tbh last time i farted during a meet was after some really good sex... He was eating me out and getting hard again... It tickled and i farted.... As i laughed... He laughed and fell down laughing... We kissed and had more sex lol

Tbh he pumped all the air in me anyhow so could hardly complain lol

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Oh i missed this gem. Your 39 years of age and you left a meet because someone farted. Bless your delicate soul

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My farts still don't smell.

Note to self.... I’m smelling the shit all over again. Silent but deadly type of lady "

Nope. Silent and no smell. I have no idea why. Loud ones don't smell either.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I was shagging a guys arse once and when i pulled out all the air expelled from his arse and it sounded like he was taking off

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"Oh i missed this gem. Your 39 years of age and you left a meet because someone farted. Bless your delicate soul"

Very delicate even when I get into my 50s lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was shagging a guys arse once and when i pulled out all the air expelled from his arse and it sounded like he was taking off "

You must have laughed at that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My farts still don't smell.

Note to self.... I’m smelling the shit all over again. Silent but deadly type of lady

Nope. Silent and no smell. I have no idea why. Loud ones don't smell either."

I got yours then!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had to leave a room when someone has farted many times.

I would open the windows and tell the culprit to go and have a crap if it smelt that bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My farts still don't smell.

Note to self.... I’m smelling the shit all over again. Silent but deadly type of lady

Nope. Silent and no smell. I have no idea why. Loud ones don't smell either.

I got yours then!! "

What do you eat? I don't eat much meat, which might be why mine don't smell.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I was shagging a guys arse once and when i pulled out all the air expelled from his arse and it sounded like he was taking off

You must have laughed at that."
he was a bit embarressed until he realized i was hysteric and he joined in then lol.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My farts still don't smell.

Note to self.... I’m smelling the shit all over again. Silent but deadly type of lady

Nope. Silent and no smell. I have no idea why. Loud ones don't smell either.

I got yours then!!

What do you eat? I don't eat much meat, which might be why mine don't smell."

I eat lots of meat. I try to do clean eating but it’s lots of good fats.

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"I was shagging a guys arse once and when i pulled out all the air expelled from his arse and it sounded like he was taking off

You must have laughed at that.he was a bit embarressed until he realized i was hysteric and he joined in then lol. "

Should of walked away in disgust lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My farts still don't smell.

Note to self.... I’m smelling the shit all over again. Silent but deadly type of lady

Nope. Silent and no smell. I have no idea why. Loud ones don't smell either.

I got yours then!!

What do you eat? I don't eat much meat, which might be why mine don't smell.

I eat lots of meat. I try to do clean eating but it’s lots of good fats. "

My friend used to eat lots of meat and her farts could clear a bar. Must be the meat.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was shagging a guys arse once and when i pulled out all the air expelled from his arse and it sounded like he was taking off

You must have laughed at that.he was a bit embarressed until he realized i was hysteric and he joined in then lol. "

I would have been crying on the bed.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I would say my farts are healthy dont really smell but might give the odd whiff unless ive been out on the piss the night before then they are rancid

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

Time to man up methinks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A fart is better than what anal sex can produce

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crying at this thread

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Imagine if you had shoved it up her arse and a big piece of shit came out on the end of your nob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh my god. I wouldn't care if a guy farted in front of me so I'd expect the same courtesy if I accidentally done one.

I've gone out and pretended I needed something from my car before when sleeping over a guys house, as soon as I get in my car I fart my arse off, give it a once over with a wet wipe and go back in the house and slip back into bed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fought women don’t fart , only men

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"Imagine if you had shoved it up her arse and a big piece of shit came out on the end of your nob "

No thought ... helmet would get chopped immediately.

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Imagine if you had shoved it up her arse and a big piece of shit came out on the end of your nob "

Oh my! Sweetcorn?

Legend!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Imagine if you had shoved it up her arse and a big piece of shit came out on the end of your nob "

That happened with my strap on and the more he was moving, it was going to go over my boobs. He suddenly noticed I was stopping and pulled forward, whoosh, I got a whiff and that was it....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh my god. I wouldn't care if a guy farted in front of me so I'd expect the same courtesy if I accidentally done one.

I've gone out and pretended I needed something from my car before when sleeping over a guys house, as soon as I get in my car I fart my arse off, give it a once over with a wet wipe and go back in the house and slip back into bed. "

That wet wipe made it a little bit too real for me love

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"Oh my god. I wouldn't care if a guy farted in front of me so I'd expect the same courtesy if I accidentally done one.

I've gone out and pretended I needed something from my car before when sleeping over a guys house, as soon as I get in my car I fart my arse off, give it a once over with a wet wipe and go back in the house and slip back into bed. "

Are you actually following through ? Use of wet wipe ?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The wet wipe just freshens it up and gets rid of the fart particles and moisture, I eat a lot of protein.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"The wet wipe just freshens it up and gets rid of the fart particles and moisture, I eat a lot of protein. "

Lol “fart particles” that’s poo poo lol

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By *inkysundayCouple
over a year ago

London

Brazilian fart porn. End of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The wet wipe just freshens it up and gets rid of the fart particles and moisture, I eat a lot of protein.

Lol “fart particles” that’s poo poo lol "

Gas particles.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"The wet wipe just freshens it up and gets rid of the fart particles and moisture, I eat a lot of protein.

Lol “fart particles” that’s poo poo lol "

You're status thing is kinda apt?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The wet wipe just freshens it up and gets rid of the fart particles and moisture, I eat a lot of protein. "

Yeah. No. That ain't helping

Farticles

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"The wet wipe just freshens it up and gets rid of the fart particles and moisture, I eat a lot of protein.

Lol “fart particles” that’s poo poo lol

You're status thing is kinda apt? "

*your

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The wet wipe just freshens it up and gets rid of the fart particles and moisture, I eat a lot of protein.

Lol “fart particles” that’s poo poo lol

You're status thing is kinda apt? "

You're quite right It's all about travelling matter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The wet wipe just freshens it up and gets rid of the fart particles and moisture, I eat a lot of protein.

Lol “fart particles” that’s poo poo lol "

It's not poop, I've been up enough arse holes to know the difference between a bum hole that shower fresh, pooped and wiped or fluffed on. I don't poo myself but I wipe off any nutty aroma that's left on it after a fart has passed through.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The wet wipe just freshens it up and gets rid of the fart particles and moisture, I eat a lot of protein.

Lol “fart particles” that’s poo poo lol

You're status thing is kinda apt?

You're quite right It's all about travelling matter "

Oh haha! I wasn't looking at his status. I was looking at his location and read it as "travelling. so does matter"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The wet wipe just freshens it up and gets rid of the fart particles and moisture, I eat a lot of protein.

Lol “fart particles” that’s poo poo lol

It's not poop, I've been up enough arse holes to know the difference between a bum hole that shower fresh, pooped and wiped or fluffed on. I don't poo myself but I wipe off any nutty aroma that's left on it after a fart has passed through. "

I just got this vivid image of you as an old granny waving your cane and shouting "listen you! I've been up enough arse holes to know the difference between a bum hole that's shower fresh". You're going to be truly formidable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What the fuck have i just read

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know its immature and I should know better but l have been giggling and guffawing away from first to last post

No names but one lady has had me in stitches here. We must never meet because one 'Phaarp' and we will be in bits with sex right out the window.

One word guaranteed to make people smile / giggle / laugh is the word 'Fart'.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you first meet someone would you fart openly?

You guys are so quick to criticise lol "
not intentionally I wouldnt but perhaps she was nervous and these things happen. I think your behaviour was extremely childish. It happens...

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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Live and let live but i did jave a club experience that curled my toes. In a private room with 2 other girls and 2 guys one girls butts up in the air facing me and everyones having fun when someone's yelled and the guys have started laughin because there me frozen in the spot. The girls only gone and let off this chainsaw fart right in my face and the little room stunk like dog had dropped one lol. Lookin back was hilarious.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talking of dogs why do their farts always smell of Brussel Sprouts?

I feel a survey coming on

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have just pmsl reading this post, hope the wasnt from this site though, she will be mortified..however has generated some funny comments..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is something that actually gets me a little anxious. On my previous time here, I would get a little nervous about a meet, as I suffer from a condition that can cause something in this department.

It’s a natural function, it can’t be stopped and it’s probably not something people think will happen mid meet.

Best not to air it all over the forum and cause more harm than good.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Imagine Jack Vale's meets..

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By *iss Penny TrationWoman
over a year ago

NW

I spent the night with someone recently who I hadn’t seen for 16 years since we were teenagers. 69 in full flow and I full on farted in his face not once, not twice but three times. Proper loud as well. I was relaxed, what can I say!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I spent the night with someone recently who I hadn’t seen for 16 years since we were teenagers. 69 in full flow and I full on farted in his face not once, not twice but three times. Proper loud as well. I was relaxed, what can I say! "

Still there at the third, must be love

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss Penny TrationWoman
over a year ago

NW


"I spent the night with someone recently who I hadn’t seen for 16 years since we were teenagers. 69 in full flow and I full on farted in his face not once, not twice but three times. Proper loud as well. I was relaxed, what can I say!

Still there at the third, must be love"

I was on top, he had no choice

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At a Christmas evening get together where one of the party farted, no sound but Jesus did it smell, it was nuclear!

One person said, who did that...what started me off laughing hysterically was during the mandatory ffs, you could sow a button on that etc, I noticed the host covering the cold snacks with paper serviettes.

The look of disgust on her face dropped me to the floor.

The person known as a farter in the group was blamed but he insisted it was not him but did admit to taking a shit under the floorboards earlier.

That finished me off

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whatàboutwallabyinabillabong. (Bath fart sound)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel for the woman who met you OP and hoping she hasn't seen this thread.

Farting happens, its natural, yes I would be a little embarrassed on a meet if I did, but I'm sure it would cause some laughter.

Thankfully I don't meet men like yourself OP, I only meet real gents who know how to treat women respectfully.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

[Removed by poster at 10/08/18 06:51:49]

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

There are some men who'd be in seventh heaven if this happened - if some of the more 'interesting' messages I get are anything to go by

But, you know ... I'm sure she didn't do it deliberately and it could potentially happen to anyone. Though I'm sure she'd feel far less embarrassed and awkward if she knew she'd inspired a thread about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rule number 1. No matter how much they beg and plead, just don't pull their finger! "

Why bring me into it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rule number 1. No matter how much they beg and plead, just don't pull their finger!

This

Cracked

Me

Up

"

What did i do

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"At a Christmas evening get together where one of the party farted, no sound but Jesus did it smell, it was nuclear!

One person said, who did that...what started me off laughing hysterically was during the mandatory ffs, you could sow a button on that etc, I noticed the host covering the cold snacks with paper serviettes.

The look of disgust on her face dropped me to the floor.

The person known as a farter in the group was blamed but he insisted it was not him but did admit to taking a shit under the floorboards earlier.

That finished me off

"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"First meet and and really getting my strides in and she relaxes so much she farts, silent but actually made me cry it was that nasty!

So pungent you could actually taste it.

Laughed about but killed the mood instantly! The smell lingered so I departed after a short while.

Ever been in same situation, and what was your reaction or what do you think you would do?"

I think farting should be compulsory on a meet.

Break the ice, cut the cheese...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good to see discretion is guaranteed by the OP.

I'm sure the lady in question is thrilled you've posted something so personal across the forum.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The wet wipe just freshens it up and gets rid of the fart particles and moisture, I eat a lot of protein. "

“Fart particles”....oh lordy that made me proper laugh out loud - must try and use that phrase today..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this made my morning lol wet eyes insted of a wet fanny xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I spent the night with someone recently who I hadn’t seen for 16 years since we were teenagers. 69 in full flow and I full on farted in his face not once, not twice but three times. Proper loud as well. I was relaxed, what can I say!

Still there at the third, must be love

I was on top, he had no choice "

Ahh but did he stay because you had him pinned down or because he was unconscious?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At a Christmas evening get together where one of the party farted, no sound but Jesus did it smell, it was nuclear!

One person said, who did that...what started me off laughing hysterically was during the mandatory ffs, you could sow a button on that etc, I noticed the host covering the cold snacks with paper serviettes.

The look of disgust on her face dropped me to the floor.

The person known as a farter in the group was blamed but he insisted it was not him but did admit to taking a shit under the floorboards earlier.

That finished me off

"

Oh STOP!

LOLs

PMSLs

LMAOs

Giggling like a kid here ...... Love it!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why be so serious it's normal to fart just as much as the fanny farts it happens it's life, I just end up laughing my head off, can't say I've actually ever passed wind when in the company of a meet, but I'd gladly pass wind and out the covers over the husbands head ha ha ha

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love it, fuck this your fart stinks and is lingering with abandonment issues I'm off later lady. if a few deep breathes won't clear it just puff a bit aftershave and get your head back in their

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First meet and and really getting my strides in and she relaxes so much she farts, silent but actually made me cry it was that nasty!

So pungent you could actually taste it.

Laughed about but killed the mood instantly! The smell lingered so I departed after a short while.

Ever been in same situation, and what was your reaction or what do you think you would do?

I think farting should be compulsory on a meet.

Break the ice, cut the cheese... "

in this case kill the canary

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *veready69Man
over a year ago

PLYMOUTH

I once had a girl fart just as I went down on her. Real nasty one. I could almost chew it. Soldiered on with watering eyes......she only let go with another!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the risk of a ban can I suggest those of us who find farting hilarious go on YT and search for 'Pooter Farting'.

"Other farting comedy outlets are available"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

If fartin is hilarious then ban me. I live with a kid who is a constant pocket rocket and.forever saying pull my finger haha. Comedy at its finest.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would love to have a cute girl fart for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would love to have a cute girl fart for me"

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"Would love to have a cute girl fart for me"

Do you like loud and proud or silent and violent? Not asking for me, I don't fart

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fart in your general direction phssssssssssshhh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would love to have a cute girl fart for me"
cute girls methane levels are the worst go for mediocre

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would love to have a cute girl fart for me

Do you like loud and proud or silent and violent? Not asking for me, I don't fart "

Prefer a little squeaky one when I’m in upto my balls .....

Gives them a nice vibration

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

I would have said Jesus Christ what you been eating girl.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would have said Jesus Christ what you been eating girl. "

Hopefully beans

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"I would have said Jesus Christ what you been eating girl.

Hopefully beans"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

anyway just blame the thunder and the local sewerage works . can be fun farting silently in crowds or queues and slowly drifting away though

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By *hubnwife_36dd_ukCouple
over a year ago

chester

Oh God please stop it! Where are Health and Safety when you need them?

I'm sat here biting hard on my finger to avoid collapsing (again) into hysterical manic laughter.

My eyes are streaming and I've startled the cat so much while doing that transition from sonic level laughter to can't get my breath gasping that he hissed at me!

The Christmas get-together nuclear level fart story virtually caused me to draw blood I bit down that hard!

Mind you I have every sympathy with the OP.

I suspect he was on the receiving end of one of those gas events that cannot be ignored.

You know the ones: when they hit you feel your nasal hair curdle and your brain tries to work out just what died here several days ago and how come you didn't feel it when you trod in it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First meet and and really getting my strides in and she relaxes so much she farts, silent but actually made me cry it was that nasty!

So pungent you could actually taste it.

Laughed about but killed the mood instantly! The smell lingered so I departed after a short while.

Ever been in same situation, and what was your reaction or what do you think you would do?"

Hilarious. I think I’d piss myself laughing rather than leave. Sometimes just mentioning the elephant in the room and having a laugh about it can ease the tension. I’m still laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At a Christmas evening get together where one of the party farted, no sound but Jesus did it smell, it was nuclear!

One person said, who did that...what started me off laughing hysterically was during the mandatory ffs, you could sow a button on that etc, I noticed the host covering the cold snacks with paper serviettes.

The look of disgust on her face dropped me to the floor.

The person known as a farter in the group was blamed but he insisted it was not him but did admit to taking a shit under the floorboards earlier.

That finished me off

"

I can’t breath...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The farts i had is when youre by yourself so let it go, then remember your in a lift and start praying no one comes in

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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago

Longridge


"First meet and and really getting my strides in and she relaxes so much she farts, silent but actually made me cry it was that nasty!

So pungent you could actually taste it.

Laughed about but killed the mood instantly! The smell lingered so I departed after a short while.

Ever been in same situation, and what was your reaction or what do you think you would do?"

Pigs fart

Dogs fart

Cows fart

Cats fart

Sheep fart

Horses fart

Do Humans?

Not very dignified to pack up and leave when you could have grabbed a coffee before getting stuck back in.

Lady was probably mortified and a gent would have made light of it.

I've had a sprouty fart or two in my face before now, especially giving oral, crack a joke, both have a laugh and move on..

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Christmas day, shortly after Christmas dinner and an assortment of cruciferous vegetables, look out of your window and you'll see the nation enjoying "sprout walk".

Purrrrrrrrrrp.

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By *ionicfinger OP   Man
over a year ago

...


"I feel for the woman who met you OP and hoping she hasn't seen this thread.

Farting happens, its natural, yes I would be a little embarrassed on a meet if I did, but I'm sure it would cause some laughter.

Thankfully I don't meet men like yourself OP, I only meet real gents who know how to treat women respectfully."

I’m very respectful that’s why I would let rip on a meet. Try me !!!

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By *anana JoeMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Farting is definitely a mood killer personally in the back of my mind would be the thought "was it actually a fart or did they follow through" I would be too polite to ask to check and for me it would kill the mood dead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"(sh)It happens"

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By *nfinitylandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Doesn't bother me in the slightest, I've had to girls fart while I was going down on them. I tend to just laugh and say "shush little fella you're next"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The worse thing is when you're sucking a cock as he's laying down and he does a silent but deadly one.

Those are evil.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

If someone can’t control themselves sufficiently enough to not fart on a meet then we wouldn’t want to meet them . Disgusting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a fan of ladies farting so I'd have asked her to do one in a bag for later....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone can’t control themselves sufficiently enough to not fart on a meet then we wouldn’t want to meet them . Disgusting

"

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