FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Game playing and time wasting

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'll never understand this. I don't get why people feel the need to do it.

Messaged a girl on POF yesterday afternoon, she got back to me last night. We were talking for a bit and it turns out we have things in common. I like writing and she was writing a book, I offered to help her come up with ideas for it. She accepted. It got to a point in the night where she said she had to get some sleep and said she'll speak to me tomorrow (today).

I sent her one message today, saying I realised I don't even know her name and asked her how she was, and if she figured out what was gonna do with her book. She's been online, she must have seen the message, but made no effort to reply.

Fine, she could be busy, but I don't buy into the idea that someone is too busy to send a quick message back. It takes a minute to write a reply out saying they're fine and that they're busy, but will speak later.

On the flipside of that if they're not interested then say so. If you don't like the conversation or a person after a few messages let them know, it's the polite thing to do. It's pretty shit when you have things in common with someone and you get on well in messages, only to get ghosted not long after.

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll never understand this. I don't get why people feel the need to do it.

Messaged a girl on POF yesterday afternoon, she got back to me last night. We were talking for a bit and it turns out we have things in common. I like writing and she was writing a book, I offered to help her come up with ideas for it. She accepted. It got to a point in the night where she said she had to get some sleep and said she'll speak to me tomorrow (today).

I sent her one message today, saying I realised I don't even know her name and asked her how she was, and if she figured out what was gonna do with her book. She's been online, she must have seen the message, but made no effort to reply.

Fine, she could be busy, but I don't buy into the idea that someone is too busy to send a quick message back. It takes a minute to write a reply out saying they're fine and that they're busy, but will speak later.

On the flipside of that if they're not interested then say so. If you don't like the conversation or a person after a few messages let them know, it's the polite thing to do. It's pretty shit when you have things in common with someone and you get on well in messages, only to get ghosted not long after.

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted."

I've had a guy block me, I'm assuming its because I hadn't replied straight away!! Its so pathetic......seriously....maybe she caught a lucky break if thats how you're going to react

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll never understand this. I don't get why people feel the need to do it.

Messaged a girl on POF yesterday afternoon, she got back to me last night. We were talking for a bit and it turns out we have things in common. I like writing and she was writing a book, I offered to help her come up with ideas for it. She accepted. It got to a point in the night where she said she had to get some sleep and said she'll speak to me tomorrow (today).

I sent her one message today, saying I realised I don't even know her name and asked her how she was, and if she figured out what was gonna do with her book. She's been online, she must have seen the message, but made no effort to reply.

Fine, she could be busy, but I don't buy into the idea that someone is too busy to send a quick message back. It takes a minute to write a reply out saying they're fine and that they're busy, but will speak later.

On the flipside of that if they're not interested then say so. If you don't like the conversation or a person after a few messages let them know, it's the polite thing to do. It's pretty shit when you have things in common with someone and you get on well in messages, only to get ghosted not long after.

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted."

This is not what you quoted this is fab. Try the site you quoted. Nothing to do with fab. No need to swear either. Thanks

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll never understand this. I don't get why people feel the need to do it.

Messaged a girl on POF yesterday afternoon, she got back to me last night. We were talking for a bit and it turns out we have things in common. I like writing and she was writing a book, I offered to help her come up with ideas for it. She accepted. It got to a point in the night where she said she had to get some sleep and said she'll speak to me tomorrow (today).

I sent her one message today, saying I realised I don't even know her name and asked her how she was, and if she figured out what was gonna do with her book. She's been online, she must have seen the message, but made no effort to reply.

Fine, she could be busy, but I don't buy into the idea that someone is too busy to send a quick message back. It takes a minute to write a reply out saying they're fine and that they're busy, but will speak later.

On the flipside of that if they're not interested then say so. If you don't like the conversation or a person after a few messages let them know, it's the polite thing to do. It's pretty shit when you have things in common with someone and you get on well in messages, only to get ghosted not long after.

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted.

I've had a guy block me, I'm assuming its because I hadn't replied straight away!! Its so pathetic......seriously....maybe she caught a lucky break if thats how you're going to react "

There's no maybe about it

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chill mate. This is online life. Nothing is real. Aren't you wasting your own time writing a long essay about it. We all find someone 'interesting' to chat to until we wake up and think what a plonker.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *eliciousKisserMan
over a year ago

Plymouth


"Chill mate. This is online life. Nothing is real. Aren't you wasting your own time writing a long essay about it. We all find someone 'interesting' to chat to until we wake up and think what a plonker. "

I think the OP hasn’t twigged yet that the girls receive hundreds (not tens) messages than the boys. I can’t imagine having to wade through them all particularly if some of them are variations on a theme. Looking for the hidden gems can’t be easy.

This was evident to me a few days ago in a different way when a lady told me that she had received 800 looks on her profile in one day, compared to my 4 looool. It really did put things into perspective!!

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men soon move in when they get a better toy to play with, women have learnt to do the same. Also in the time you and her were having a brief chat she probably got a load more messages and ones through the night. So your message drops down her inbox also if she didn’t feel a connection she’s not going to invest like men don’t. if she sees someone more suited for dating she’s probably going to spend her time on them as hard as that is to hear, and let’s face it most people don’t like to reject someone and have to explain their reasons - fact.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

Just because you swap a few online messages one day with someone that doesn't mean you have first call on their attention from then on. This woman could have had the temerity to be dealing with real life, or, she might simply not feel like chatting right there and then. Or indeed, she might have decided she doesn't want to pursue the conversation at all.

You're expecting far too much from a simple initial exchange with a woman who doesn't owe you anything at this stage. The level of anger you're showing because things may or may not have come to a halt isn't healthy and you need to take a deep breath and a step back. If she does reply at some point then great but if she doesn't then it obviously wasn't meant to be.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *eliciousKisserMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

....or she could simply have been too busy practicing her sword swallowing technique on the enormously endowed guy she met from message number 254 loool!

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll never understand this. I don't get why people feel the need to do it.

Messaged a girl on POF yesterday afternoon, she got back to me last night. We were talking for a bit and it turns out we have things in common. I like writing and she was writing a book, I offered to help her come up with ideas for it. She accepted. It got to a point in the night where she said she had to get some sleep and said she'll speak to me tomorrow (today).

I sent her one message today, saying I realised I don't even know her name and asked her how she was, and if she figured out what was gonna do with her book. She's been online, she must have seen the message, but made no effort to reply.

Fine, she could be busy, but I don't buy into the idea that someone is too busy to send a quick message back. It takes a minute to write a reply out saying they're fine and that they're busy, but will speak later.

On the flipside of that if they're not interested then say so. If you don't like the conversation or a person after a few messages let them know, it's the polite thing to do. It's pretty shit when you have things in common with someone and you get on well in messages, only to get ghosted not long after.

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted."

Last line of that whine says it all

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll never understand this. I don't get why people feel the need to do it.

Messaged a girl on POF yesterday afternoon, she got back to me last night. We were talking for a bit and it turns out we have things in common. I like writing and she was writing a book, I offered to help her come up with ideas for it. She accepted. It got to a point in the night where she said she had to get some sleep and said she'll speak to me tomorrow (today).

I sent her one message today, saying I realised I don't even know her name and asked her how she was, and if she figured out what was gonna do with her book. She's been online, she must have seen the message, but made no effort to reply.

Fine, she could be busy, but I don't buy into the idea that someone is too busy to send a quick message back. It takes a minute to write a reply out saying they're fine and that they're busy, but will speak later.

On the flipside of that if they're not interested then say so. If you don't like the conversation or a person after a few messages let them know, it's the polite thing to do. It's pretty shit when you have things in common with someone and you get on well in messages, only to get ghosted not long after.

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted."
she was maybe sitting having a coffee with hubby and kids....... relax.

Patients is the quay

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll never understand this. I don't get why people feel the need to do it.

Messaged a girl on POF yesterday afternoon, she got back to me last night. We were talking for a bit and it turns out we have things in common. I like writing and she was writing a book, I offered to help her come up with ideas for it. She accepted. It got to a point in the night where she said she had to get some sleep and said she'll speak to me tomorrow (today).

I sent her one message today, saying I realised I don't even know her name and asked her how she was, and if she figured out what was gonna do with her book. She's been online, she must have seen the message, but made no effort to reply.

Fine, she could be busy, but I don't buy into the idea that someone is too busy to send a quick message back. It takes a minute to write a reply out saying they're fine and that they're busy, but will speak later.

On the flipside of that if they're not interested then say so. If you don't like the conversation or a person after a few messages let them know, it's the polite thing to do. It's pretty shit when you have things in common with someone and you get on well in messages, only to get ghosted not long after.

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted.she was maybe sitting having a coffee with hubby and kids....... relax.

Patients is the quay "

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Maybe life got in the way or she meant to reply and got caught up in her writing ,or wasn't in a talky mood,who knows.

Same as on here,people get so antsy if you don't reply when they want you to...

People have lives

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe life got in the way or she meant to reply and got caught up in her writing ,or wasn't in a talky mood,who knows.

Same as on here,people get so antsy if you don't reply when they want you to...

People have lives "
you're kidding....... Really

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You knew this woman or she’s just some random woman on Facebook you messaged?

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"Maybe life got in the way or she meant to reply and got caught up in her writing ,or wasn't in a talky mood,who knows.

Same as on here,people get so antsy if you don't reply when they want you to...

People have lives you're kidding....... Really "

I've heard a rumour,but might have been a lie

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dyson is the fellow. He knows how to fill a vacuum in your life.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe life got in the way or she meant to reply and got caught up in her writing ,or wasn't in a talky mood,who knows.

Same as on here,people get so antsy if you don't reply when they want you to...

People have lives you're kidding....... Really

I've heard a rumour,but might have been a lie "
damn the rumour could be true

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe life got in the way or she meant to reply and got caught up in her writing ,or wasn't in a talky mood,who knows.

Same as on here,people get so antsy if you don't reply when they want you to...

People have lives you're kidding....... Really

I've heard a rumour,but might have been a lie damn the rumour could be true "

I know I hear a cult was built around it

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it Thursday

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really gets me annoyed when you've swopped a few little messages and you realise from them that they are not for you- so you tell them- Sorry this won't work. They send you an sarky message then block you do you cant reply .

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I love to play naked twister

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bro cmon now, thats just the nature of online dating sites. There will always be a lot more men in the ratio so men need to try harder to stand out.

Welcone to the internet!

Also she isn't obligated to answer your beckon call just because you traded a few messages with her

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love to play naked twister "
why

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She clearly isnt as desperate and needy as you

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

r/niceguys

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She clearly isnt as desperate and needy as you

"

Burn

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She clearly isnt as desperate and needy as you

Burn"

No point in trying to sugar coat the truth

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

You had your times wasted OP a few hours on valuable time you will never get back. It's gone for good and your older and more experienced for it.

So, what would you of done instead or what did she stop you doing?

What plans did you have to cancel for time to construct these messages?

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll never understand this. I don't get why people feel the need to do it.

Messaged a girl on POF yesterday afternoon, she got back to me last night. We were talking for a bit and it turns out we have things in common. I like writing and she was writing a book, I offered to help her come up with ideas for it. She accepted. It got to a point in the night where she said she had to get some sleep and said she'll speak to me tomorrow (today).

I sent her one message today, saying I realised I don't even know her name and asked her how she was, and if she figured out what was gonna do with her book. She's been online, she must have seen the message, but made no effort to reply.

Fine, she could be busy, but I don't buy into the idea that someone is too busy to send a quick message back. It takes a minute to write a reply out saying they're fine and that they're busy, but will speak later.

On the flipside of that if they're not interested then say so. If you don't like the conversation or a person after a few messages let them know, it's the polite thing to do. It's pretty shit when you have things in common with someone and you get on well in messages, only to get ghosted not long after.

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted."

Get a woman to post this again and you'll receive quite a different set of responses.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The cheek of her not replying. You got away lucky there.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The cheek of her not replying. You got away lucky there. "

Is that the faint whiff of sarcasm?

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These forums make me giggle

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The cheek of her not replying. You got away lucky there.

Is that the faint whiff of sarcasm? "

Deadly totally serious. Bloody time wasters.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats just the nature of online dating, even just dating in general.

You mean nothing to these people you chat to, thats the cold, hard truth.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You can define whatever rules you fancy for filtering people or acceptable behavior but it won't mean that they will always be universally shared, nor some of the judgments being correct.

When interacting with someone it helps to communicate well and agree some rules, including how you'll behave, speak about being late for meets or not being able to make it etc.

Until you have a two-way committed relationship, it is unrealistic to expect others to place you as a priority in their lives. Other things and people take priority.

Yes, there will be game playing from some people - that's why you build your own filters and expectations of how to stop interacting.

In my opinion it is unrealistic to expect near immediate constant communication from someone you've known a day or so via the internet. It's also unhelpful to assume that people check and respond to messages quickly - I'd loathe anyone putting this expectation upon me and would be cautious or stop involvement.

Keep things light, don't pressure yourself or others and assume that they are more involved in a relationship than is realistic for a casual interaction.

Many people will run a mile if they sense someone is desperate, pressuring or judgmental. Less is more.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo


"I'll never understand this. I don't get why people feel the need to do it.

Messaged a girl on POF yesterday afternoon, she got back to me last night. We were talking for a bit and it turns out we have things in common. I like writing and she was writing a book, I offered to help her come up with ideas for it. She accepted. It got to a point in the night where she said she had to get some sleep and said she'll speak to me tomorrow (today).

I sent her one message today, saying I realised I don't even know her name and asked her how she was, and if she figured out what was gonna do with her book. She's been online, she must have seen the message, but made no effort to reply.

Fine, she could be busy, but I don't buy into the idea that someone is too busy to send a quick message back. It takes a minute to write a reply out saying they're fine and that they're busy, but will speak later.

On the flipside of that if they're not interested then say so. If you don't like the conversation or a person after a few messages let them know, it's the polite thing to do. It's pretty shit when you have things in common with someone and you get on well in messages, only to get ghosted not long after.

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted.

Get a woman to post this again and you'll receive quite a different set of responses. "

Gah - put your wooden spoon away , I'd have said exactly the same to a woman.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She clearly isnt as desperate and needy as you

"

Ruthless

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't reply to a message within 24 hrs and got a snotogram. It wasn't rude or abusive but I have clearly breached thd fab time limit for replies rule!

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Not everyone is attending to messages all the time. She could get back to you later. Although if you think this is time wasting and worthy of a rant then I hope she doesn't.

I find my inbox draining at times. Sometimes I just want to come on Fab to look at pictures and see what's happening in my area. Not to jump to anyone who's called for my attention.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you say having your time wasted?

Surely if you enjoyed exchanging messages last night then that wasn't wasting your time?

When you chat with your friends in life in general do you class that as a waste of time? This is no different.

You obviously class it as a waste of time because you were only chatting to her to get to meet her. She probably picked up on this and act she isn't interested in you anymore.

Learn from this.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She was probably speaking to 7 different men , while speaking to you, women have the upper hand on all dating and sex sites , you just have to keep trying

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She isn’t entitled to reply to you.

I’m not sure why you’re getting angry when you said yourself you don’t even know this girls name.

She doesn’t have to tell you she’s not interested, silence is deafening.

Maybe she sensed you were far too intense, maybe she is busy and will reply later, maybe she just isn’t that into you.

Either way, you haven’t wasted your time and I don’t think this rant on a completely different website is warranted. I could understand if she had stood you up or something, but she’s not replied to you, it’s not the end of the world.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"Just because you swap a few online messages one day with someone that doesn't mean you have first call on their attention from then on. This woman could have had the temerity to be dealing with real life, or, she might simply not feel like chatting right there and then. Or indeed, she might have decided she doesn't want to pursue the conversation at all.

You're expecting far too much from a simple initial exchange with a woman who doesn't owe you anything at this stage. The level of anger you're showing because things may or may not have come to a halt isn't healthy and you need to take a deep breath and a step back. If she does reply at some point then great but if she doesn't then it obviously wasn't meant to be."

This exactly! X

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll never understand this. I don't get why people feel the need to do it.

Messaged a girl on POF yesterday afternoon, she got back to me last night. We were talking for a bit and it turns out we have things in common. I like writing and she was writing a book, I offered to help her come up with ideas for it. She accepted. It got to a point in the night where she said she had to get some sleep and said she'll speak to me tomorrow (today).

I sent her one message today, saying I realised I don't even know her name and asked her how she was, and if she figured out what was gonna do with her book. She's been online, she must have seen the message, but made no effort to reply.

Fine, she could be busy, but I don't buy into the idea that someone is too busy to send a quick message back. It takes a minute to write a reply out saying they're fine and that they're busy, but will speak later.

On the flipside of that if they're not interested then say so. If you don't like the conversation or a person after a few messages let them know, it's the polite thing to do. It's pretty shit when you have things in common with someone and you get on well in messages, only to get ghosted not long after.

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted.

Get a woman to post this again and you'll receive quite a different set of responses.

Gah - put your wooden spoon away , I'd have said exactly the same to a woman."

Out, any more of your cheek and I'll be using this wooden spoon on your butt cheeks

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

The thing with these dating/hook up sites is that they are pretty transient in nature, like the carousel at a sushi bar.

You've had your eye on the California roll but the guy across from you picked it before you could, do you blame the sushi or the guy ? Or do you just wait until a lovely little bit of sashimi gets within reach.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she's writing a book.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ffs if you class game playing and time wasting cause she hasnt immedatly replied to a random.guy who does even know her name then god help us

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Im not sure online dating is for you op if your going to get so upset over someone not immediatly replying to a message

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thing with these dating/hook up sites is that they are pretty transient in nature, like the carousel at a sushi bar.

You've had your eye on the California roll but the guy across from you picked it before you could, do you blame the sushi or the guy ? Or do you just wait until a lovely little bit of sashimi gets within reach.

"

I like your sushi analogy. I wonder if you could work one into every forum thread?

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds


"The thing with these dating/hook up sites is that they are pretty transient in nature, like the carousel at a sushi bar.

You've had your eye on the California roll but the guy across from you picked it before you could, do you blame the sushi or the guy ? Or do you just wait until a lovely little bit of sashimi gets within reach.

I like your sushi analogy. I wonder if you could work one into every forum thread?"

I'm not one to shy away from challenge but I've exhausted my sushi knowledge in that post I should have chosen cake !

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows


"

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted."

If you call that 'time wasted' wait til you've chatted to someone for several weeks, made plans, spent money on something, then get ghosted on the day.

Your anger at being ignored after a few messages is quite scary.

I think you need to evaluate your attitude, and how you react to others

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thing with these dating/hook up sites is that they are pretty transient in nature, like the carousel at a sushi bar.

You've had your eye on the California roll but the guy across from you picked it before you could, do you blame the sushi or the guy ? Or do you just wait until a lovely little bit of sashimi gets within reach.

I like your sushi analogy. I wonder if you could work one into every forum thread?

I'm not one to shy away from challenge but I've exhausted my sushi knowledge in that post I should have chosen cake ! "

Shame! I’m sure there is something fishy that could be worked into the picky sluts/tea party thread. Rotten mackerel maybe?

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's because you are talking about books and writing, you must of bored her off. Try talking about Love Island or TOWIE, everything will be resolved. No need to thank me buddy

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman
over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

Just because someone is showing online does not necessarily mean they are active at that moment on the site,, loads of people don't log off especially if they use an app, and a day is 24 hours, she may have intended to message you later when she had more time etc, who knows, a handful of messages is just a chat, nothing more, it's all part of using online sites

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"I'll never understand this. I don't get why people feel the need to do it.

Messaged a girl on POF yesterday afternoon, she got back to me last night. We were talking for a bit and it turns out we have things in common. I like writing and she was writing a book, I offered to help her come up with ideas for it. She accepted. It got to a point in the night where she said she had to get some sleep and said she'll speak to me tomorrow (today).

I sent her one message today, saying I realised I don't even know her name and asked her how she was, and if she figured out what was gonna do with her book. She's been online, she must have seen the message, but made no effort to reply.

Fine, she could be busy, but I don't buy into the idea that someone is too busy to send a quick message back. It takes a minute to write a reply out saying they're fine and that they're busy, but will speak later.

On the flipside of that if they're not interested then say so. If you don't like the conversation or a person after a few messages let them know, it's the polite thing to do. It's pretty shit when you have things in common with someone and you get on well in messages, only to get ghosted not long after.

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted."

I've had this loads of times in the past, but then I have also had it where I have not been on a sitr for over 2 days but it still shows me on line. This is why now I very rarely send messages to anyone now.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted.

If you call that 'time wasted' wait til you've chatted to someone for several weeks, made plans, spent money on something, then get ghosted on the day.

Your anger at being ignored after a few messages is quite scary.

I think you need to evaluate your attitude, and how you react to others "

Or get completely ghosted after several lovely dates...

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good game good game tonight could be a good night if you play your cards right

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows


"

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted.

If you call that 'time wasted' wait til you've chatted to someone for several weeks, made plans, spent money on something, then get ghosted on the day.

Your anger at being ignored after a few messages is quite scary.

I think you need to evaluate your attitude, and how you react to others

Or get completely ghosted after several lovely dates..."

Oh yes!

Or how about someone you thought was a friend, an FWB you'd known for months, suddenly posting veris weeks later on dates they'd previously cancelled with you due to work or family issues....

These are things to get angry over

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Just because you swap a few online messages one day with someone that doesn't mean you have first call on their attention from then on. This woman could have had the temerity to be dealing with real life, or, she might simply not feel like chatting right there and then. Or indeed, she might have decided she doesn't want to pursue the conversation at all.

You're expecting far too much from a simple initial exchange with a woman who doesn't owe you anything at this stage. The level of anger you're showing because things may or may not have come to a halt isn't healthy and you need to take a deep breath and a step back. "

Yes this. Once a relationship is established I agree there is a duty to be mannerly, but before then they are under no obligation at all.

I often like to take things very slow and intermittent chatting to someone at first, and when I get people pushing me for a phone call or even making appointments for an exclusive online chat I find it pushy and very offputting.

When I was dealing with a health scare recently I even had one guy off a dating site accusing me of not being the person I portrayed in my profile because I didn't feeling like chatting intensely to him!! Excuse me? Fuck OFF with your needy entitlement!

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just because you swap a few online messages one day with someone that doesn't mean you have first call on their attention from then on. This woman could have had the temerity to be dealing with real life, or, she might simply not feel like chatting right there and then. Or indeed, she might have decided she doesn't want to pursue the conversation at all.

You're expecting far too much from a simple initial exchange with a woman who doesn't owe you anything at this stage. The level of anger you're showing because things may or may not have come to a halt isn't healthy and you need to take a deep breath and a step back.

Yes this. Once a relationship is established I agree there is a duty to be mannerly, but before then they are under no obligation at all.

I often like to take things very slow and intermittent chatting to someone at first, and when I get people pushing me for a phone call or even making appointments for an exclusive online chat I find it pushy and very offputting.

When I was dealing with a health scare recently I even had one guy off a dating site accusing me of not being the person I portrayed in my profile because I didn't feeling like chatting intensely to him!! Excuse me? Fuck OFF with your needy entitlement!"

Agreed.

I completely cut off those who are needy for a reply after 5 minutes or get angry when you’ve been working all day and reply in your break or something.

For me, if someone can fly off the handle for something so little via text, they can do so in person so they won’t be for me!

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I really don't have the fucking patience to mess around, having my time wasted.

If you call that 'time wasted' wait til you've chatted to someone for several weeks, made plans, spent money on something, then get ghosted on the day.

Your anger at being ignored after a few messages is quite scary.

I think you need to evaluate your attitude, and how you react to others

Or get completely ghosted after several lovely dates...

Oh yes!

Or how about someone you thought was a friend, an FWB you'd known for months, suddenly posting veris weeks later on dates they'd previously cancelled with you due to work or family issues....

These are things to get angry over "

Exactly. I wouldn’t dare air it on here.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

The more i read this thread i think if she doesnt get back shes dodged a bullet and if she does its a shame she cant read this thread to realise what a demanding needy entitled person she getting involved with

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sometimes. i look at a message or text and read it and forget to reply as im doing something at the time.

but to me it seems a tad needy but if he was chatting amicable asking a name would be top of my list.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Goodness. I can go days without replying to established friends from fab via here, kik or WhatsApp, even if I'm on line and interacting via the forums because I don't feel up to talking to them one by one. Thankfully *they* all understand.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" I've had a guy block me, I'm assuming its because I hadn't replied straight away!! Its so pathetic......seriously....maybe she caught a lucky break if thats how you're going to react "

Or maybe I'm a pretty decent guy who wouldn't normally react this way, but who's been strung along for months before in the past with someone who I thought was interested and now I just don't really fancy spending my evenings having a three hour conversation with someone who isn't really that interested themselves.

It's not about being messaged back straight away, it's about having the courtesy to at least tell them you're busy and will speak when you can. That's a message you can write out in thirty seconds. Stranger or not we all deserve a modicum of polite manners. I really couldn't give a shit if it happens on this site anymore, but on somewhere like POF I go on there to look for a relationship and I don't wanna waste my time talking to someone who's only talking to me because they're bored (which has happened before) when someone who ACTUALLY wants to talk to me could be waiting.

Plus I have major anxiety. If I'm talking to someone who I'm seemingly getting along with and then they go quiet, I start wondering what I've done wrong, I start doubting myself, which then leads to long periods of me not coming on here or on POF or wherever. I've gone weeks without messaging anyone anywhere due to being let down in the past, not just on dating sites, but by friends and family.

If a woman posted this they'll be getting ''there there dear'' and big hugs.

And before anyone says (someone probably already has) that this reeks of entitlement, the only thing EVERY HUMAN BEING on the planet should be entitled to is basic politeness.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I've had a guy block me, I'm assuming its because I hadn't replied straight away!! Its so pathetic......seriously....maybe she caught a lucky break if thats how you're going to react

Or maybe I'm a pretty decent guy who wouldn't normally react this way, but who's been strung along for months before in the past with someone who I thought was interested and now I just don't really fancy spending my evenings having a three hour conversation with someone who isn't really that interested themselves.

It's not about being messaged back straight away, it's about having the courtesy to at least tell them you're busy and will speak when you can. That's a message you can write out in thirty seconds. Stranger or not we all deserve a modicum of polite manners. I really couldn't give a shit if it happens on this site anymore, but on somewhere like POF I go on there to look for a relationship and I don't wanna waste my time talking to someone who's only talking to me because they're bored (which has happened before) when someone who ACTUALLY wants to talk to me could be waiting.

Plus I have major anxiety. If I'm talking to someone who I'm seemingly getting along with and then they go quiet, I start wondering what I've done wrong, I start doubting myself, which then leads to long periods of me not coming on here or on POF or wherever. I've gone weeks without messaging anyone anywhere due to being let down in the past, not just on dating sites, but by friends and family.

If a woman posted this they'll be getting ''there there dear'' and big hugs.

And before anyone says (someone probably already has) that this reeks of entitlement, the only thing EVERY HUMAN BEING on the planet should be entitled to is basic politeness. "

Sorry but shit happens

Dont tar everyone the same way and you are coming a little self entitled on this thread

Take a chill pill and relax

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


" I've had a guy block me, I'm assuming its because I hadn't replied straight away!! Its so pathetic......seriously....maybe she caught a lucky break if thats how you're going to react

Or maybe I'm a pretty decent guy who wouldn't normally react this way, but who's been strung along for months before in the past with someone who I thought was interested and now I just don't really fancy spending my evenings having a three hour conversation with someone who isn't really that interested themselves.

It's not about being messaged back straight away, it's about having the courtesy to at least tell them you're busy and will speak when you can. That's a message you can write out in thirty seconds. Stranger or not we all deserve a modicum of polite manners. I really couldn't give a shit if it happens on this site anymore, but on somewhere like POF I go on there to look for a relationship and I don't wanna waste my time talking to someone who's only talking to me because they're bored (which has happened before) when someone who ACTUALLY wants to talk to me could be waiting.

Plus I have major anxiety. If I'm talking to someone who I'm seemingly getting along with and then they go quiet, I start wondering what I've done wrong, I start doubting myself, which then leads to long periods of me not coming on here or on POF or wherever. I've gone weeks without messaging anyone anywhere due to being let down in the past, not just on dating sites, but by friends and family.

If a woman posted this they'll be getting ''there there dear'' and big hugs.

And before anyone says (someone probably already has) that this reeks of entitlement, the only thing EVERY HUMAN BEING on the planet should be entitled to is basic politeness. "
what do you mean someone whose actually interested could be queuing up waiting. Are you incapable of talking to more than one person at once or is there so many people wanting to meet you that you cant keep up

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And do you reply to all junk mail through your door email or calls and say “im actually a tad busy ill get back to you” of course you dont

Accept on line on here and dating, 1st impressions count and being patient will work wonders or you will come back with egg on your face

Enjoy fab and fishing and dont take things personal

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *G CoupleCouple
over a year ago

kent

Not sure about pof as we don’t use it but on here if we log in on our mobiles and don’t log out, it appears that we are online when we aren’t. It may be possible it’s the same on pof?

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/08/18 18:48:36]

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or maybe I'm a pretty decent guy who wouldn't normally react this way, but who's been strung along for months before in the past with someone who I thought was interested and now I just don't really fancy spending my evenings having a three hour conversation with someone who isn't really that interested themselves.

It's not about being messaged back straight away, it's about having the courtesy to at least tell them you're busy and will speak when you can. That's a message you can write out in thirty seconds. Stranger or not we all deserve a modicum of polite manners. I really couldn't give a shit if it happens on this site anymore, but on somewhere like POF I go on there to look for a relationship and I don't wanna waste my time talking to someone who's only talking to me because they're bored (which has happened before) when someone who ACTUALLY wants to talk to me could be waiting.

Plus I have major anxiety. If I'm talking to someone who I'm seemingly getting along with and then they go quiet, I start wondering what I've done wrong, I start doubting myself, which then leads to long periods of me not coming on here or on POF or wherever. I've gone weeks without messaging anyone anywhere due to being let down in the past, not just on dating sites, but by friends and family.

If a woman posted this they'll be getting ''there there dear'' and big hugs.

And before anyone says (someone probably already has) that this reeks of entitlement, the only thing EVERY HUMAN BEING on the planet should be entitled to is basic politeness. "

Do you browse Reddit?

Your whole thread could go on r/niceguys.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I've had a guy block me, I'm assuming its because I hadn't replied straight away!! Its so pathetic......seriously....maybe she caught a lucky break if thats how you're going to react

Or maybe I'm a pretty decent guy who wouldn't normally react this way, but who's been strung along for months before in the past with someone who I thought was interested and now I just don't really fancy spending my evenings having a three hour conversation with someone who isn't really that interested themselves.

It's not about being messaged back straight away, it's about having the courtesy to at least tell them you're busy and will speak when you can. That's a message you can write out in thirty seconds. Stranger or not we all deserve a modicum of polite manners. I really couldn't give a shit if it happens on this site anymore, but on somewhere like POF I go on there to look for a relationship and I don't wanna waste my time talking to someone who's only talking to me because they're bored (which has happened before) when someone who ACTUALLY wants to talk to me could be waiting.

Plus I have major anxiety. If I'm talking to someone who I'm seemingly getting along with and then they go quiet, I start wondering what I've done wrong, I start doubting myself, which then leads to long periods of me not coming on here or on POF or wherever. I've gone weeks without messaging anyone anywhere due to being let down in the past, not just on dating sites, but by friends and family.

If a woman posted this they'll be getting ''there there dear'' and big hugs.

And before anyone says (someone probably already has) that this reeks of entitlement, the only thing EVERY HUMAN BEING on the planet should be entitled to is basic politeness. "

I agree with you. People are entitled to basic politeness.

If a woman had posted this she'd be covered in glitter and hugs.

The cold hard truth is that people just treat others like meat. Move on to the next one. Then the next. No backward glance. The replies show this perfectly. Would you want to meet people like that?

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


" I've had a guy block me, I'm assuming its because I hadn't replied straight away!! Its so pathetic......seriously....maybe she caught a lucky break if thats how you're going to react

Or maybe I'm a pretty decent guy who wouldn't normally react this way, but who's been strung along for months before in the past with someone who I thought was interested and now I just don't really fancy spending my evenings having a three hour conversation with someone who isn't really that interested themselves.

It's not about being messaged back straight away, it's about having the courtesy to at least tell them you're busy and will speak when you can. That's a message you can write out in thirty seconds. Stranger or not we all deserve a modicum of polite manners. I really couldn't give a shit if it happens on this site anymore, but on somewhere like POF I go on there to look for a relationship and I don't wanna waste my time talking to someone who's only talking to me because they're bored (which has happened before) when someone who ACTUALLY wants to talk to me could be waiting.

Plus I have major anxiety. If I'm talking to someone who I'm seemingly getting along with and then they go quiet, I start wondering what I've done wrong, I start doubting myself, which then leads to long periods of me not coming on here or on POF or wherever. I've gone weeks without messaging anyone anywhere due to being let down in the past, not just on dating sites, but by friends and family.

If a woman posted this they'll be getting ''there there dear'' and big hugs.

And before anyone says (someone probably already has) that this reeks of entitlement, the only thing EVERY HUMAN BEING on the planet should be entitled to is basic politeness.

I agree with you. People are entitled to basic politeness.

If a woman had posted this she'd be covered in glitter and hugs.

The cold hard truth is that people just treat others like meat. Move on to the next one. Then the next. No backward glance. The replies show this perfectly. Would you want to meet people like that?"
if a woman had posted it she would of got the same answer from me. Most on the thread wouldnt want to meet someone like the op so its swings and roundabouts.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What if she doesn't want to waste her time and thinks that trying to work out how to say she's not interested politely is going to be one...

It's uncomfortable to let people down gently and from personal experience I find lads go mental and start throwing abuse at you for daring to not find them appealing.

She doesn't owe you anything.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You lot really do make me lol

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You lot really do make me lol"

Why?

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
back to top