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"Are us ‘swingles’ constantly confusing swinging and promiscuous sex? Is serially meeting and fucking 121 really swinging? Or does swinging require a wider range of experiences - socials, group play, clubs? Is there still a belief that if you are single you just *can’t* be a swinger?" I see your dilemma... Perhaps we can run an experiment. You and I can first do loads of the serial 121 brain banging sex, and then attend several group events. After both, we will poll everyone we know and ask them  | |||
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"Are us ‘swingles’ constantly confusing swinging and promiscuous sex? Is serially meeting and fucking 121 really swinging? Or does swinging require a wider range of experiences - socials, group play, clubs? Is there still a belief that if you are single you just *can’t* be a swinger?" yes it seems you're addicted to sex seek help now | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.." So swingers used to fuck anyone regardless of attraction? That makes sense then why some people throw around the "you're not a real swinger" comments. 
Perhaps it should be rebranded with a new name. If swinging really is fucking anyone and everyone, the type of fucking around on here isn't swinging. | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.." I’m thankful for preferences. | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.. So swingers used to fuck anyone regardless of attraction? That makes sense then why some people throw around the "you're not a real swinger" comments.
Perhaps it should be rebranded with a new name. If swinging really is fucking anyone and everyone, the type of fucking around on here isn't swinging. "No ..it was the same back then if you were not interested you just did not join in ..but that never happened to me and my wife (ex) back then ..it was a different dynamics..the shortness of the meet notice and the excitement of turning up..it always worked. Now it can take some folk to chat for a month then meet in a pub then a month later have sex..that's dating not swinging..the true excitement is in the spontaneous act of meetimg strangers for sex..its sex..not looking for love or a longer-term partners of friend's.... | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.. So swingers used to fuck anyone regardless of attraction? That makes sense then why some people throw around the "you're not a real swinger" comments.
Perhaps it should be rebranded with a new name. If swinging really is fucking anyone and everyone, the type of fucking around on here isn't swinging.
No ..it was the same back then if you were not interested you just did not join in ..but that never happened to me and my wife (ex) back then ..it was a different dynamics..the shortness of the meet notice and the excitement of turning up..it always worked. Now it can take some folk to chat for a month then meet in a pub then a month later have sex..that's dating not swinging..the true excitement is in the spontaneous act of meetimg strangers for sex..its sex..not looking for love or a longer-term partners of friend's...."#or friends | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.. So swingers used to fuck anyone regardless of attraction? That makes sense then why some people throw around the "you're not a real swinger" comments.
Perhaps it should be rebranded with a new name. If swinging really is fucking anyone and everyone, the type of fucking around on here isn't swinging.
No ..it was the same back then if you were not interested you just did not join in ..but that never happened to me and my wife (ex) back then ..it was a different dynamics..the shortness of the meet notice and the excitement of turning up..it always worked. Now it can take some folk to chat for a month then meet in a pub then a month later have sex..that's dating not swinging..the true excitement is in the spontaneous act of meetimg strangers for sex..its sex..not looking for love or a longer-term partners of friend's....
#or friends"Some of us are looking for that elusive partner to swing with. | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.." Regardless of what kind of site it is, I’m not going to lower myself to fucking people I don’t find attractive and neither should anyone else. At the end of the day, it’s meant to be fun. If you’re not finding it fun then why bother? | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.. So swingers used to fuck anyone regardless of attraction? That makes sense then why some people throw around the "you're not a real swinger" comments.
Perhaps it should be rebranded with a new name. If swinging really is fucking anyone and everyone, the type of fucking around on here isn't swinging.
No ..it was the same back then if you were not interested you just did not join in ..but that never happened to me and my wife (ex) back then ..it was a different dynamics..the shortness of the meet notice and the excitement of turning up..it always worked. Now it can take some folk to chat for a month then meet in a pub then a month later have sex..that's dating not swinging..the true excitement is in the spontaneous act of meetimg strangers for sex..its sex..not looking for love or a longer-term partners of friend's...."OK that makes sense. The excitement and spontaneity. I wasn't being bitchy in my earlier comment, it was a genuine question. I put the thumb to try and soften it. x | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.. Regardless of what kind of site it is, I’m not going to lower myself to fucking people I don’t find attractive and neither should anyone else. At the end of the day, it’s meant to be fun. If you’re not finding it fun then why bother?" I am not criticising..the question was regarding the term swinging..it means a different thing to us now than it did when we started..things have changed we have moved with the times too .. | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.. So swingers used to fuck anyone regardless of attraction? That makes sense then why some people throw around the "you're not a real swinger" comments.
Perhaps it should be rebranded with a new name. If swinging really is fucking anyone and everyone, the type of fucking around on here isn't swinging.
No ..it was the same back then if you were not interested you just did not join in ..but that never happened to me and my wife (ex) back then ..it was a different dynamics..the shortness of the meet notice and the excitement of turning up..it always worked. Now it can take some folk to chat for a month then meet in a pub then a month later have sex..that's dating not swinging..the true excitement is in the spontaneous act of meetimg strangers for sex..its sex..not looking for love or a longer-term partners of friend's...."If that’s what worked for you back then; the great, that’s not too far removed from swingers clubs. However things change, as do attitudes and the way that people approach things, technology plays a large part in that too. Battles and wars one time were carried out with sticks, swords, bows and arrows. Now there are tanks, drones and missiles, we still call it war, no matter how far removed it may be from how it was before... | |||
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"The Oxfo4d dictionary defines 'swinger' as: "A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". By that definition, if you have no partner to swap and only indulge in 121, you don't fit the criteria. You could be single and indulge in three or moresomes though." While I would agree with some posters about labels Etc. I really don't think that someone who is only indulging in 1 2 1 sex can be called a swinger, no matter how promiscuous they are. You can call a Duck a Pigeon, but it is still a Duck. | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.. So swingers used to fuck anyone regardless of attraction? That makes sense then why some people throw around the "you're not a real swinger" comments.
Perhaps it should be rebranded with a new name. If swinging really is fucking anyone and everyone, the type of fucking around on here isn't swinging.
No ..it was the same back then if you were not interested you just did not join in ..but that never happened to me and my wife (ex) back then ..it was a different dynamics..the shortness of the meet notice and the excitement of turning up..it always worked. Now it can take some folk to chat for a month then meet in a pub then a month later have sex..that's dating not swinging..the true excitement is in the spontaneous act of meetimg strangers for sex..its sex..not looking for love or a longer-term partners of friend's....
#or friends
Some of us are looking for that elusive partner to swing with."Well is that not a relationship then and not old school swinging..Swinging was you met for sex and that was it.. | |||
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"Can I just say Swinging was first formed in the 16th century by the aristocratic society of agreeing to wife swap.. " | |||
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"A bit like BDSM I think the term 'swinging' has come to have multiple definitions that are individual to the individual people partaking in it - none are right, none are wrong it's finding those that have a similar definition or aren't overly worried by definitions which is the key " | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.. So swingers used to fuck anyone regardless of attraction? That makes sense then why some people throw around the "you're not a real swinger" comments.
Perhaps it should be rebranded with a new name. If swinging really is fucking anyone and everyone, the type of fucking around on here isn't swinging.
No ..it was the same back then if you were not interested you just did not join in ..but that never happened to me and my wife (ex) back then ..it was a different dynamics..the shortness of the meet notice and the excitement of turning up..it always worked. Now it can take some folk to chat for a month then meet in a pub then a month later have sex..that's dating not swinging..the true excitement is in the spontaneous act of meetimg strangers for sex..its sex..not looking for love or a longer-term partners of friend's....
OK that makes sense. The excitement and spontaneity.
I wasn't being bitchy in my earlier comment, it was a genuine question. I put the thumb to try and soften it. x"Never took it that way | |||
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"A bit like BDSM I think the term 'swinging' has come to have multiple definitions that are individual to the individual people partaking in it - none are right, none are wrong it's finding those that have a similar definition or aren't overly worried by definitions which is the key " | |||
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"Sex between two people isn’t swinging it’s just vanilla sex . " | |||
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"The Oxfo4d dictionary defines 'swinger' as: "A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". By that definition, if you have no partner to swap and only indulge in 121, you don't fit the criteria. You could be single and indulge in three or moresomes though. While I would agree with some posters about labels Etc. I really don't think that someone who is only indulging in 1 2 1 sex can be called a swinger, no matter how promiscuous they are. You can call a Duck a Pigeon, but it is still a Duck." And what about couples who only meet one person, or the wife only has sex while the husband stays home wanking, or the husbands watch but don't join in? Are they allowed to call themselves swingers, or is the wife just being promiscuous? | |||
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"Sex between two people isn’t swinging it’s just vanilla sex . " So, adding another person makes sex not vanilla? What if they swap partners and have basic sex? Is that not vanilla sex? | |||
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"Sex between two people isn’t swinging it’s just vanilla sex . " How can you call it vanilla sex? You don’t know what kind of sex they are having. Kink, bdsm or fetishes could be involved. | |||
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"Why care about other peoples opinions, so long as you are having fun that's all that matters. "..in your opinion.. | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.. So swingers used to fuck anyone regardless of attraction? That makes sense then why some people throw around the "you're not a real swinger" comments.
Perhaps it should be rebranded with a new name. If swinging really is fucking anyone and everyone, the type of fucking around on here isn't swinging.
No ..it was the same back then if you were not interested you just did not join in ..but that never happened to me and my wife (ex) back then ..it was a different dynamics..the shortness of the meet notice and the excitement of turning up..it always worked. Now it can take some folk to chat for a month then meet in a pub then a month later have sex..that's dating not swinging..the true excitement is in the spontaneous act of meetimg strangers for sex..its sex..not looking for love or a longer-term partners of friend's....
#or friends
Some of us are looking for that elusive partner to swing with.
Well is that not a relationship then and not old school swinging..Swinging was you met for sex and that was it.."I don’t claim that I am a swinger...YET. I said I want to explore the swinging world with a partner but I need to find a partner first. We have to start somewhere. I’m sure you had to. | |||
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"The Oxfo4d dictionary defines 'swinger' as: "A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". By that definition, if you have no partner to swap and only indulge in 121, you don't fit the criteria. You could be single and indulge in three or moresomes though. While I would agree with some posters about labels Etc. I really don't think that someone who is only indulging in 1 2 1 sex can be called a swinger, no matter how promiscuous they are. You can call a Duck a Pigeon, but it is still a Duck. And what about couples who only meet one person, or the wife only has sex while the husband stays home wanking, or the husbands watch but don't join in? Are they allowed to call themselves swingers, or is the wife just being promiscuous?" Like us they move with the times..we we still call ourselves swingers because our meets are varied and at this time she is going through a hotwife stage.The way we work changes | |||
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"I think of myself as a swinger, not because of having a partner (which I don’t) but because of the mind set that goes with it; having and wanting multiple partners and wanting those partners to be meeting as well, I don’t agree or want to be sexually monogamous. To me that is one of the basic principles of swinging. Also I meet couples, they’re swinging with me so therefore then; I’m swinging too. On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? " Evolving is good. It’s what we do. I agree with what you have said and I have the same mindset as you. | |||
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"The Oxfo4d dictionary defines 'swinger' as: "A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". By that definition, if you have no partner to swap and only indulge in 121, you don't fit the criteria. You could be single and indulge in three or moresomes though. While I would agree with some posters about labels Etc. I really don't think that someone who is only indulging in 1 2 1 sex can be called a swinger, no matter how promiscuous they are. You can call a Duck a Pigeon, but it is still a Duck. And what about couples who only meet one person, or the wife only has sex while the husband stays home wanking, or the husbands watch but don't join in? Are they allowed to call themselves swingers, or is the wife just being promiscuous?" If a Duck wants to call itself a Pigeon then it is fully entitled to. But it will still be a Duck. As for husbands watching their wife, or letting her go out to fuck someone while he stays at home (wanking or not) that would be more like cuckolding than swinging. | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.. So swingers used to fuck anyone regardless of attraction? That makes sense then why some people throw around the "you're not a real swinger" comments.
Perhaps it should be rebranded with a new name. If swinging really is fucking anyone and everyone, the type of fucking around on here isn't swinging.
No ..it was the same back then if you were not interested you just did not join in ..but that never happened to me and my wife (ex) back then ..it was a different dynamics..the shortness of the meet notice and the excitement of turning up..it always worked. Now it can take some folk to chat for a month then meet in a pub then a month later have sex..that's dating not swinging..the true excitement is in the spontaneous act of meetimg strangers for sex..its sex..not looking for love or a longer-term partners of friend's....
#or friends
Some of us are looking for that elusive partner to swing with.
Well is that not a relationship then and not old school swinging..Swinging was you met for sex and that was it..
I don’t claim that I am a swinger...YET. I said I want to explore the swinging world with a partner but I need to find a partner first. We have to start somewhere. I’m sure you had to. " | |||
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"Are us ‘swingles’ constantly confusing swinging and promiscuous sex? " Yes " Is serially meeting and fucking 121 really swinging? " No " Or does swinging require a wider range of experiences - socials, group play, clubs? " It requires a willingness to share partners " Is there still a belief that if you are single you just *can’t* be a swinger?" Its possible, but rare | |||
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"The Oxfo4d dictionary defines 'swinger' as: "A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". By that definition, if you have no partner to swap and only indulge in 121, you don't fit the criteria. You could be single and indulge in three or moresomes though. While I would agree with some posters about labels Etc. I really don't think that someone who is only indulging in 1 2 1 sex can be called a swinger, no matter how promiscuous they are. You can call a Duck a Pigeon, but it is still a Duck. And what about couples who only meet one person, or the wife only has sex while the husband stays home wanking, or the husbands watch but don't join in? Are they allowed to call themselves swingers, or is the wife just being promiscuous? If a Duck wants to call itself a Pigeon then it is fully entitled to. But it will still be a Duck. As for husbands watching their wife, or letting her go out to fuck someone while he stays at home (wanking or not) that would be more like cuckolding than swinging." That sounds better than her being promiscuous I suppose. | |||
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"Sex between two people isn’t swinging it’s just vanilla sex . So, adding another person makes sex not vanilla? What if they swap partners and have basic sex? Is that not vanilla sex? " vanilla is just a label a ridiculous label it means nothing  | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? " I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. | |||
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"Sex between two people isn’t swinging it’s just vanilla sex . So, adding another person makes sex not vanilla? What if they swap partners and have basic sex? Is that not vanilla sex? vanilla is just a label a ridiculous label it means nothing "People have different interpretation of labels. In my opinion, they can keep them all. | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do." But, people's ideas of swinging are different. There are couples on here who say other couples aren't real swingers. I find the terms and labels people throw around are terribly outraged. Mention swinger in public and people think it's a dirty word and the people are disgusting. Talk about someone cheating on their partner and it's a lovely bit of gossip. | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do." Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! | |||
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"As part of a couple who meet other couples and do the traditional thing, I guess you might expect the usual couple answer. But you know, like many couples, we meet single people too. And occasionally will meet on our own. So in my opinion of course there’s room for single people. In reality what’s a label, why worry or bog yourself down with it? Does it matter? Terminology evolves and people’s views change all the time. What matters is you’re doing what you enjoy, doesn’t really matter what it’s defined as." See, there's the difference. Single people can be part of the swinging world when couples want them; they can't call themselves swingers though. I have seen some single people who are more active in the swinging world than a lot of couples, who only meet single people once in a blue moon. I don't call myself a swinger because I don't get involved in the swinging community and have no desire to. | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! " Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. | |||
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"Sex between two people isn’t swinging it’s just vanilla sex . So, adding another person makes sex not vanilla? What if they swap partners and have basic sex? Is that not vanilla sex? vanilla is just a label a ridiculous label it means nothing
People have different interpretation of labels. In my opinion, they can keep them all."I agree but they're only put there to try and attempt to make this place ' fab ' and the life it purports to be different from the life we lead....... It's one and the same...... We're real people living our lives here or there we are same person, you don't tell your sister about your sex life do you so why would you tell her you have multiple partners in your bed or on bonnet of your car | |||
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"The Oxfo4d dictionary defines 'swinger' as: "A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". By that definition, if you have no partner to swap and only indulge in 121, you don't fit the criteria. You could be single and indulge in three or moresomes though. While I would agree with some posters about labels Etc. I really don't think that someone who is only indulging in 1 2 1 sex can be called a swinger, no matter how promiscuous they are. You can call a Duck a Pigeon, but it is still a Duck. And what about couples who only meet one person, or the wife only has sex while the husband stays home wanking, or the husbands watch but don't join in? Are they allowed to call themselves swingers, or is the wife just being promiscuous? Like us they move with the times..we we still call ourselves swingers because our meets are varied and at this time she is going through a hotwife stage.The way we work changes " I don't consider hotwifing swinging. Or cuckolding. It's a kink. | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. " Who are they covering up their behaviour to? | |||
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"Sex between two people isn’t swinging it’s just vanilla sex . So, adding another person makes sex not vanilla? What if they swap partners and have basic sex? Is that not vanilla sex? vanilla is just a label a ridiculous label it means nothing
People have different interpretation of labels. In my opinion, they can keep them all.I agree but they're only put there to try and attempt to make this place ' fab ' and the life it purports to be different from the life we lead....... It's one and the same...... We're real people living our lives here or there we are same person, you don't tell your sister about your sex life do you so why would you tell her you have multiple partners in your bed or on bonnet of your car "Actually I would tell my sisters, but I get your point. Ironically, if I said I was a swinger my eldest sister would probably be shocked. If I said I was meeting people for casual sex, she wouldn't bat an eyelid. Swinging is a dirty word for some people. | |||
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"Sex between two people isn’t swinging it’s just vanilla sex . So, adding another person makes sex not vanilla? What if they swap partners and have basic sex? Is that not vanilla sex? vanilla is just a label a ridiculous label it means nothing
People have different interpretation of labels. In my opinion, they can keep them all.I agree but they're only put there to try and attempt to make this place ' fab ' and the life it purports to be different from the life we lead....... It's one and the same...... We're real people living our lives here or there we are same person, you don't tell your sister about your sex life do you so why would you tell her you have multiple partners in your bed or on bonnet of your car "My sister wants to know all about my shenanigans. My mum gets snippets.  | |||
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"Sex between two people isn’t swinging it’s just vanilla sex . So, adding another person makes sex not vanilla? What if they swap partners and have basic sex? Is that not vanilla sex? vanilla is just a label a ridiculous label it means nothing
People have different interpretation of labels. In my opinion, they can keep them all.I agree but they're only put there to try and attempt to make this place ' fab ' and the life it purports to be different from the life we lead....... It's one and the same...... We're real people living our lives here or there we are same person, you don't tell your sister about your sex life do you so why would you tell her you have multiple partners in your bed or on bonnet of your car
Actually I would tell my sisters, but I get your point.
Ironically, if I said I was a swinger my eldest sister would probably be shocked. If I said I was meeting people for casual sex, she wouldn't bat an eyelid.
Swinging is a dirty word for some people. "yes totally agree I personally don't mind who knows but wouldn’t discuss it with all, theirs a time and a place | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do." That’s fair enough, and I’m sure most don’t use their definition as a way of doing that. However whenever I see the term ‘not real swingers’ bandied around then it is being used as a way to ring fence and, to my mind, as an attempt to belittle. | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. Who are they covering up their behaviour to? " Themselves. Saying they are swingers validates their promiscuous behaviour. Covering up was probably not the correct terminology, but I've seen them, on here, justifying their behaviour by saying they are swingers, but single people are just sleeping around. Some of these couples were quite active sexually too. It gives the impression they are trying to make themselves feel better about something that is just sex. | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. Who are they covering up their behaviour to? Themselves. Saying they are swingers validates their promiscuous behaviour. Covering up was probably not the correct terminology, but I've seen them, on here, justifying their behaviour by saying they are swingers, but single people are just sleeping around. Some of these couples were quite active sexually too. It gives the impression they are trying to make themselves feel better about something that is just sex. " It's not just sex though. Its a relationship structure that is somewhat complicated by the fact that very few people in society understand it and it breaks many taboos. | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. That’s fair enough, and I’m sure most don’t use their definition as a way of doing that. However whenever I see the term ‘not real swingers’ bandied around then it is being used as a way to ring fence and, to my mind, as an attempt to belittle. " And justify their own immorality. Look at it this way: society has a worse view of spouses allowing each other to "cheat", than they do of actual cheaters. If we lost the term swingers altogether it might change that view. If I did marry my LTP and meet other couples I would ask them to not call us swingers. It's so old and outdated. | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. Who are they covering up their behaviour to? Themselves. Saying they are swingers validates their promiscuous behaviour. Covering up was probably not the correct terminology, but I've seen them, on here, justifying their behaviour by saying they are swingers, but single people are just sleeping around. Some of these couples were quite active sexually too. It gives the impression they are trying to make themselves feel better about something that is just sex. It's not just sex though. Its a relationship structure that is somewhat complicated by the fact that very few people in society understand it and it breaks many taboos. " Is that also including couples who visit clubs to have sex with people they have just met? Is that swinging because of the surroundings they met in? | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. Who are they covering up their behaviour to? Themselves. Saying they are swingers validates their promiscuous behaviour. Covering up was probably not the correct terminology, but I've seen them, on here, justifying their behaviour by saying they are swingers, but single people are just sleeping around. Some of these couples were quite active sexually too. It gives the impression they are trying to make themselves feel better about something that is just sex. It's not just sex though. Its a relationship structure that is somewhat complicated by the fact that very few people in society understand it and it breaks many taboos. Is that also including couples who visit clubs to have sex with people they have just met? Is that swinging because of the surroundings they met in? " Its swinging because they are sharing their partners. You said it perfectly above "society has a worse view of spouses allowing each other to "cheat", than they do of actual cheaters". That's why it's not just sex and why definitions matter. | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. Who are they covering up their behaviour to? Themselves. Saying they are swingers validates their promiscuous behaviour. Covering up was probably not the correct terminology, but I've seen them, on here, justifying their behaviour by saying they are swingers, but single people are just sleeping around. Some of these couples were quite active sexually too. It gives the impression they are trying to make themselves feel better about something that is just sex. It's not just sex though. Its a relationship structure that is somewhat complicated by the fact that very few people in society understand it and it breaks many taboos. Is that also including couples who visit clubs to have sex with people they have just met? Is that swinging because of the surroundings they met in? Its swinging because they are sharing their partners. You said it perfectly above "society has a worse view of spouses allowing each other to "cheat", than they do of actual cheaters". That's why it's not just sex and why definitions matter. " Fundamentally it is about sex. Otherwise they wouldn't be swingers; they would be a couple out having a drink with friends. Couples with the attitude that single people having 1 to 1 sex are perpetuating the animosity towards casual sex, which isn't helping society get a grip on swinging. If everyone looked at casual sex as no big deal, there would be no stigma about it. That's what I think anyway. | |||
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"Maybe we should be called ‘libertines’ much more classy than the other terms describing a single promiscuous person. " I said that years back. A healthy, liberal attitude towards sex, regardless of relationship status. People might not look down on swingers or single people, who like sex with more than one person. | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. Who are they covering up their behaviour to? Themselves. Saying they are swingers validates their promiscuous behaviour. Covering up was probably not the correct terminology, but I've seen them, on here, justifying their behaviour by saying they are swingers, but single people are just sleeping around. Some of these couples were quite active sexually too. It gives the impression they are trying to make themselves feel better about something that is just sex. It's not just sex though. Its a relationship structure that is somewhat complicated by the fact that very few people in society understand it and it breaks many taboos. Is that also including couples who visit clubs to have sex with people they have just met? Is that swinging because of the surroundings they met in? Its swinging because they are sharing their partners. You said it perfectly above "society has a worse view of spouses allowing each other to "cheat", than they do of actual cheaters". That's why it's not just sex and why definitions matter. " And calling it swinging when you're having sex with multiple people doesn't make it any better in society's eyes. You are still getting naked and touching each other's genitals. Society frowns on that. | |||
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"Maybe we should be called ‘libertines’ much more classy than the other terms describing a single promiscuous person. " Classier? Er... the sound of the word itself, yes. Possibly in a sort of romantic lothario way. The image it evokes and the associations with that word at the end of the day - no. Fucking around is fucking around. I think most will see through it. It's like putting lipstick on a pig (not that sex with others is anyway similar to pigs). I'd agree with Sybarite - removing the stigma surrounding casual sex is the way to go, not tarting up terms to make it more society friendly. | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. Who are they covering up their behaviour to? Themselves. Saying they are swingers validates their promiscuous behaviour. Covering up was probably not the correct terminology, but I've seen them, on here, justifying their behaviour by saying they are swingers, but single people are just sleeping around. Some of these couples were quite active sexually too. It gives the impression they are trying to make themselves feel better about something that is just sex. It's not just sex though. Its a relationship structure that is somewhat complicated by the fact that very few people in society understand it and it breaks many taboos. Is that also including couples who visit clubs to have sex with people they have just met? Is that swinging because of the surroundings they met in? Its swinging because they are sharing their partners. You said it perfectly above "society has a worse view of spouses allowing each other to "cheat", than they do of actual cheaters". That's why it's not just sex and why definitions matter. And calling it swinging when you're having sex with multiple people doesn't make it any better in society's eyes. You are still getting naked and touching each other's genitals. Society frowns on that." Yes but they used to frown upon gay marriage too and if you think swingers are promiscuous... | |||
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"Maybe we should be called ‘libertines’ much more classy than the other terms describing a single promiscuous person. " That’s a good term, however, if I go around telling people ‘I’m a Libertine’ they’re liable to ask which instrument I play... | |||
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"Maybe we should be called ‘libertines’ much more classy than the other terms describing a single promiscuous person. Classier? Er... the sound of the word itself, yes. Possibly in a sort of romantic lothario way. The image it evokes and the associations with that word at the end of the day - no. Fucking around is fucking around. I think most will see through it. It's like putting lipstick on a pig (not that sex with others is anyway similar to pigs). I'd agree with Sybarite - removing the stigma surrounding casual sex is the way to go, not tarting up terms to make it more society friendly." I said it tongue in cheek. | |||
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"Maybe we should be called ‘libertines’ much more classy than the other terms describing a single promiscuous person. That’s a good term, however, if I go around telling people ‘I’m a Libertine’ they’re liable to ask which instrument I play..." Or what century you think you are in! I love the libertines btw. | |||
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" I said it tongue in cheek. " | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. Who are they covering up their behaviour to? Themselves. Saying they are swingers validates their promiscuous behaviour. Covering up was probably not the correct terminology, but I've seen them, on here, justifying their behaviour by saying they are swingers, but single people are just sleeping around. Some of these couples were quite active sexually too. It gives the impression they are trying to make themselves feel better about something that is just sex. It's not just sex though. Its a relationship structure that is somewhat complicated by the fact that very few people in society understand it and it breaks many taboos. Is that also including couples who visit clubs to have sex with people they have just met? Is that swinging because of the surroundings they met in? Its swinging because they are sharing their partners. You said it perfectly above "society has a worse view of spouses allowing each other to "cheat", than they do of actual cheaters". That's why it's not just sex and why definitions matter. And calling it swinging when you're having sex with multiple people doesn't make it any better in society's eyes. You are still getting naked and touching each other's genitals. Society frowns on that. Yes but they used to frown upon gay marriage too and if you think swingers are promiscuous..." Some swingers are promiscuous though. How will society change their view of swinging if swingers look down on single people having casual sex. I'm not talking about hooking up with people you barely know- which both single people and couples do. Single people form friendships and meet in the same places as couples a too, but those couples will call them promiscuous for doing exactly the same as them. Why don't couples like to refer to themselves as promiscuous, if they are having sex with lots of different people? What's wrong with promiscuity? | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. Who are they covering up their behaviour to? Themselves. Saying they are swingers validates their promiscuous behaviour. Covering up was probably not the correct terminology, but I've seen them, on here, justifying their behaviour by saying they are swingers, but single people are just sleeping around. Some of these couples were quite active sexually too. It gives the impression they are trying to make themselves feel better about something that is just sex. It's not just sex though. Its a relationship structure that is somewhat complicated by the fact that very few people in society understand it and it breaks many taboos. Is that also including couples who visit clubs to have sex with people they have just met? Is that swinging because of the surroundings they met in? Its swinging because they are sharing their partners. You said it perfectly above "society has a worse view of spouses allowing each other to "cheat", than they do of actual cheaters". That's why it's not just sex and why definitions matter. And calling it swinging when you're having sex with multiple people doesn't make it any better in society's eyes. You are still getting naked and touching each other's genitals. Society frowns on that. Yes but they used to frown upon gay marriage too and if you think swingers are promiscuous..." Also, a lot of people in our society still frown upon gay marriage. | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. Who are they covering up their behaviour to? Themselves. Saying they are swingers validates their promiscuous behaviour. Covering up was probably not the correct terminology, but I've seen them, on here, justifying their behaviour by saying they are swingers, but single people are just sleeping around. Some of these couples were quite active sexually too. It gives the impression they are trying to make themselves feel better about something that is just sex. It's not just sex though. Its a relationship structure that is somewhat complicated by the fact that very few people in society understand it and it breaks many taboos. Is that also including couples who visit clubs to have sex with people they have just met? Is that swinging because of the surroundings they met in? Its swinging because they are sharing their partners. You said it perfectly above "society has a worse view of spouses allowing each other to "cheat", than they do of actual cheaters". That's why it's not just sex and why definitions matter. And calling it swinging when you're having sex with multiple people doesn't make it any better in society's eyes. You are still getting naked and touching each other's genitals. Society frowns on that. Yes but they used to frown upon gay marriage too and if you think swingers are promiscuous... Also, a lot of people in our society still frown upon gay marriage." Not a lot. It's passed in popular referendums in the vast majority of countries that have held one, including supposedly conservative countries like Ireland. | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. Who are they covering up their behaviour to? Themselves. Saying they are swingers validates their promiscuous behaviour. Covering up was probably not the correct terminology, but I've seen them, on here, justifying their behaviour by saying they are swingers, but single people are just sleeping around. Some of these couples were quite active sexually too. It gives the impression they are trying to make themselves feel better about something that is just sex. It's not just sex though. Its a relationship structure that is somewhat complicated by the fact that very few people in society understand it and it breaks many taboos. Is that also including couples who visit clubs to have sex with people they have just met? Is that swinging because of the surroundings they met in? Its swinging because they are sharing their partners. You said it perfectly above "society has a worse view of spouses allowing each other to "cheat", than they do of actual cheaters". That's why it's not just sex and why definitions matter. Fundamentally it is about sex. Otherwise they wouldn't be swingers; they would be a couple out having a drink with friends. Couples with the attitude that single people having 1 to 1 sex are perpetuating the animosity towards casual sex, which isn't helping society get a grip on swinging. If everyone looked at casual sex as no big deal, there would be no stigma about it. That's what I think anyway. " but sex and talking about it, which let's face it for some is an everyday subject is still taboo for most and immorality is attached to promiscuous sex because we've created monogamy for most, swinging was so totally created by couples who in many cases said sex lives although still active maybe excitement wise has waned and the club's sprang from that, a meeting place, single people are just their fodder. The labels really mean nothing other than to give a thought process to what's being said or asked of people | |||
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"Are us ‘swingles’ constantly confusing swinging and promiscuous sex? Is serially meeting and fucking 121 really swinging? Or does swinging require a wider range of experiences - socials, group play, clubs? Is there still a belief that if you are single you just *can’t* be a swinger?" what a brilliant question OP - right to the crux of the whole "sex dating" scene
Swinging was always associated with couples and what used to be "wife swapping" and then progressed into group Swapping, the term just meant; "to swing from one partner to another"
As for why people are here on fabs, I been here off and on for best art of 13 years with ex wife, the FB/partner and in my opinion its just become a shop window for people to look for sex.
In the past I ran a group on another well know adult site and we pretty well made sure all members attended social meets once or twice a year and it worked for them - if that makes sense
Jon steps of his lectern | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. Who are they covering up their behaviour to? Themselves. Saying they are swingers validates their promiscuous behaviour. Covering up was probably not the correct terminology, but I've seen them, on here, justifying their behaviour by saying they are swingers, but single people are just sleeping around. Some of these couples were quite active sexually too. It gives the impression they are trying to make themselves feel better about something that is just sex. It's not just sex though. Its a relationship structure that is somewhat complicated by the fact that very few people in society understand it and it breaks many taboos. Is that also including couples who visit clubs to have sex with people they have just met? Is that swinging because of the surroundings they met in? Its swinging because they are sharing their partners. You said it perfectly above "society has a worse view of spouses allowing each other to "cheat", than they do of actual cheaters". That's why it's not just sex and why definitions matter. And calling it swinging when you're having sex with multiple people doesn't make it any better in society's eyes. You are still getting naked and touching each other's genitals. Society frowns on that. Yes but they used to frown upon gay marriage too and if you think swingers are promiscuous... Also, a lot of people in our society still frown upon gay marriage. Not a lot. It's passed in popular referendums in the vast majority of countries that have held one, including supposedly conservative countries like Ireland. " That's because those that want gay marriages voted for it. They aren't for it, but they can't be arsed to go out and vote against it. A lot of people don't bother voting in a general election. Anyway, we're digressing. My closing argument is: Lose the labels and enjoy your sex life, married or not. | |||
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"The Oxfo4d dictionary defines 'swinger' as: "A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". " my opinion singles match as they swap sexual partners  | |||
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"The Oxfo4d dictionary defines 'swinger' as: "A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". my opinion singles match as they swap sexual partners "Singles, by definition, don't have a partner to swap | |||
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"Maybe we should be called ‘libertines’ much more classy than the other terms describing a single promiscuous person. That’s a good term, however, if I go around telling people ‘I’m a Libertine’ they’re liable to ask which instrument I play... Or what century you think you are in! I love the libertines btw." I’m the bassist... that’s why no one recognises me | |||
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"Maybe we should be called ‘libertines’ much more classy than the other terms describing a single promiscuous person. That’s a good term, however, if I go around telling people ‘I’m a Libertine’ they’re liable to ask which instrument I play... Or what century you think you are in! I love the libertines btw. I’m the bassist... that’s why no one recognises me" Show me your best Bass face | |||
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"The Oxfo4d dictionary defines 'swinger' as: "A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". my opinion singles match as they swap sexual partners
singles, by definition, don't have a partner to swap "ok but singles fucking singles they are a partner to fuck at that time  | |||
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"The Oxfo4d dictionary defines 'swinger' as: "A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". my opinion singles match as they swap sexual partners
Singles, by definition, don't have a partner to swap "Are you saying that couples who only meet one person together aren't swingers? Or where only one of the couple has sex? | |||
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"The Oxfo4d dictionary defines 'swinger' as: "A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". my opinion singles match as they swap sexual partners
singles, by definition, don't have a partner to swap
ok but singles fucking singles they are a partner to fuck at that time "They partner up, they aren't partners. | |||
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"In essence it’s all about people engaging in sexual practices with each other and it’s only the society we live in that’s normalised what is expected of us. I think the crux of the matter for a lot of couples in terms of swinging when it comes to singles, and they won’t admit to it, often vehemently deny it. Is jealousy and the fear their partner may go off with a single person. Single people don’t have anything to bring to the table as such in terms of offering to share their committed partner. They don’t feel that threat as much from another couple who they see as the same as themselves." that surely is about human nature we are not naturally monogamous, we've created marriage because it creates a stable and logical environment to raise our children, so a couple adding another person to the mix is unfortunately adding an element of risk to the stability of their marriage and their marriage vows don't you think? Lexa | |||
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"In essence it’s all about people engaging in sexual practices with each other and it’s only the society we live in that’s normalised what is expected of us. I think the crux of the matter for a lot of couples in terms of swinging when it comes to singles, and they won’t admit to it, often vehemently deny it. Is jealousy and the fear their partner may go off with a single person. Single people don’t have anything to bring to the table as such in terms of offering to share their committed partner. They don’t feel that threat as much from another couple who they see as the same as themselves.that surely is about human nature we are not naturally monogamous, we've created marriage because it creates a stable and logical environment to raise our children, so a couple adding another person to the mix is unfortunately adding an element of risk to the stability of their marriage and their marriage vows don't you think? Lexa "I personally am incredibly secure in my marriage. In fact renewed our vows on our 25th anniversary this year.
But I do believe a lot of people feel this way.
To me, a fucks a fuck. It takes a lot more than that to create a relationship. It’s about enjoying the physicality and being able to compartmentalise that. | |||
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"In essence it’s all about people engaging in sexual practices with each other and it’s only the society we live in that’s normalised what is expected of us. I think the crux of the matter for a lot of couples in terms of swinging when it comes to singles, and they won’t admit to it, often vehemently deny it. Is jealousy and the fear their partner may go off with a single person. Single people don’t have anything to bring to the table as such in terms of offering to share their committed partner. They don’t feel that threat as much from another couple who they see as the same as themselves.that surely is about human nature we are not naturally monogamous, we've created marriage because it creates a stable and logical environment to raise our children, so a couple adding another person to the mix is unfortunately adding an element of risk to the stability of their marriage and their marriage vows don't you think? Lexa
I personally am incredibly secure in my marriage. In fact renewed our vows on our 25th anniversary this year.
But I do believe a lot of people feel this way.
To me, a fucks a fuck. It takes a lot more than that to create a relationship. It’s about enjoying the physicality and being able to compartmentalise that. "yes well you have a secure marriage but not all do and opportunity is created | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.." I remember my Mother telling me of going to a party in the early 70's after we moved to a new area. Everyone threw their car keys into a bowl and the women were invited to close their eyes and pick a key. My mum quickly finished her drink and told my Dad that it was time to leave | |||
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"Swinging.. it can mean many things now because of the internet..I started in the 80's and it was very secretive back then and thats not really that long ago ..you got the odd advert in your local paper..adult house party and a rough location and phone number..or you heard of something going on by word of mouth and you turned up...no picking and choosing and fecking about with preferences..it was fun and exciting..now because of the internet and the many sex meet sites and so on, I would not call it swinging because of the pickiness of folk..it's a wonder some folks ever get a meet with all their preferences in place..this site can sometimes feel like a dating site and not a swinging site.. I remember my Mother telling me of going to a party in the early 70's after we moved to a new area. Everyone threw their car keys into a bowl and the women were invited to close their eyes and pick a key. My mum quickly finished her drink and told my Dad that it was time to leave " | |||
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"Maybe we should be called ‘libertines’ much more classy than the other terms describing a single promiscuous person. That’s a good term, however, if I go around telling people ‘I’m a Libertine’ they’re liable to ask which instrument I play... Or what century you think you are in! I love the libertines btw. I’m the bassist... that’s why no one recognises me Show me your best Bass face " It entirely depends on the song... hang on... 
There you go | |||
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"Are us ‘swingles’ constantly confusing swinging and promiscuous sex? Is serially meeting and fucking 121 really swinging? Or does swinging require a wider range of experiences - socials, group play, clubs? Is there still a belief that if you are single you just *can’t* be a swinger?" I don't meet 121 and only here for group sex. Having spent the last 5 years playing as a couple it does feel weird and currently only going to events socially but I've been in the lifestyle for almost 20 years. Don't really ever know if I count myself as a swinger. Just a sexual adventurer | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. Exactly! It's not about needing to feel superior. It's about using language that ordinary people understand. Half the people on fab have a definition of swinging that is indistinguishable from a normal friday night at a university or a typical family setup in Saudi Arabia! Some couples use the term swinging as a cover up for promiscuity- like it's a terrible thing to be promiscuous, but ok to be swingers. Who are they covering up their behaviour to? Themselves. Saying they are swingers validates their promiscuous behaviour. Covering up was probably not the correct terminology, but I've seen them, on here, justifying their behaviour by saying they are swingers, but single people are just sleeping around. Some of these couples were quite active sexually too. It gives the impression they are trying to make themselves feel better about something that is just sex. It's not just sex though. Its a relationship structure that is somewhat complicated by the fact that very few people in society understand it and it breaks many taboos. Is that also including couples who visit clubs to have sex with people they have just met? Is that swinging because of the surroundings they met in? Its swinging because they are sharing their partners. You said it perfectly above "society has a worse view of spouses allowing each other to "cheat", than they do of actual cheaters". That's why it's not just sex and why definitions matter. Fundamentally it is about sex. Otherwise they wouldn't be swingers; they would be a couple out having a drink with friends. Couples with the attitude that single people having 1 to 1 sex are perpetuating the animosity towards casual sex, which isn't helping society get a grip on swinging. If everyone looked at casual sex as no big deal, there would be no stigma about it. That's what I think anyway. " | |||
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"The Oxfo4d dictionary defines 'swinger' as: "A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". By that definition, if you have no partner to swap and only indulge in 121, you don't fit the criteria. You could be single and indulge in three or moresomes though. While I would agree with some posters about labels Etc. I really don't think that someone who is only indulging in 1 2 1 sex can be called a swinger, no matter how promiscuous they are. You can call a Duck a Pigeon, but it is still a Duck. And what about couples who only meet one person, or the wife only has sex while the husband stays home wanking, or the husbands watch but don't join in? Are they allowed to call themselves swingers, or is the wife just being promiscuous? Like us they move with the times..we we still call ourselves swingers because our meets are varied and at this time she is going through a hotwife stage.The way we work changes " Exactly , and the way we play is that my wife plays and I enjoy watching . The people she plays with know I am watching so in effect it’s a threesome , although I may not interact . This has to be classed as swinging surely , despite the fact that my wife is behaving in a promiscuous way . If the people she played with didn’t know I was watching , then to them we wouldn’t be swinging and I agree that it would appear to them that it would be promiscuity . But they do , and my wife loves the fact that I get off seeing her have fun , and the primary reason she does it is to satisfy me as much as the people we meet . | |||
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"On a personal note though, I hate it when people try to ring fence certain terms to exclude others in order to make themselves feel more special. What’s wrong with definitions changing? I don't think people are doing it to make themselves feel special (tad patronising!) - more that's their particular understanding of their word and they'll quite happily keep it. There's nothing wrong with definitions changing but people won't have the same views as you do. That’s fair enough, and I’m sure most don’t use their definition as a way of doing that. However whenever I see the term ‘not real swingers’ bandied around then it is being used as a way to ring fence and, to my mind, as an attempt to belittle. And justify their own immorality. Look at it this way: society has a worse view of spouses allowing each other to "cheat", than they do of actual cheaters. If we lost the term swingers altogether it might change that view. If I did marry my LTP and meet other couples I would ask them to not call us swingers. It's so old and outdated. " I have no idea why you think that society has a worse view of spouses being allowed to ‘ cheat ‘ that actual cheaters . That’s certainly not how we see it at all . We interact with swingers as well as non swingers on a regular basis , and the general view of both groups is a resounding condemnation of cheaters , but the majority of non swingers are fully understanding of swingers and their way of life . | |||
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"Perhaps the people that go looking for a new fuck every weekend are swingers too. It's just promiscuity. Fucking different people for fun. "But what if they have a partner that likes to tag along and watch ? | |||
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"Perhaps the people that go looking for a new fuck every weekend are swingers too. It's just promiscuity. Fucking different people for fun.
But what if they have a partner that likes to tag along and watch ? "Sounds hot to me.
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"The Oxfo4d dictionary defines 'swinger' as: "A person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners". my opinion singles match as they swap sexual partners
Singles, by definition, don't have a partner to swap
Are you saying that couples who only meet one person together aren't swingers? Or where only one of the couple has sex? "No. I'm not talking about whether there is a partner physically present. When you are married or in a relationship, you always have a partner. If I go to the shops and my wife stays home, she is still my partner. If she fucks someone while I'm at the shops, with my consent, then that's swinging because I'm sharing my partner and she shares me. Being single, by definition, means you don't have a partner. | |||
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"I don't much care whether I'm a "swinger" or not. Other people can define me any way they want. It's not going to change how I live or what I do." I would 100% agree with that, but I will give an example of why the correct terminology is important. Let's say a guy is looking for 1 2 1 sex but describes himself as a swinger. He arranges a meet with a couple or goes to a swinger club but he isn't really wanting to do anything there and then. What he is really looking for is to get the woman (or any woman in a club) to meet him alone for 1 2 1 sex. Would anyone here describe him as a genuine swinger? I used that because when I was swinging with an ex GF in the UK many years ago I lost count of the number of times a guy in a club would slip her his phone number behind my back. Sometimes it was slightly irritating but we mostly found it amusing. However I really don't think that there is a place for that in the swinger world. It's worth noting that in over 9 years in Dutch, French, Spanish, and German clubs it has not happened to us once. Of course the swinger world is a broad church and the dictionary definition can be stretched a little (but not broken) and we have met many single guys who may not fit the definition but certainly live up to the spirit. But let's not lose track of what we are (and not) and singles (both men and women) who are ONLY looking for 1 2 1 sex are not swingers. Whether they are members of a swinger site or not. | |||
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"Swinging is fucking around. It was given a special name to sound 'classy', so the menfolk could persuade their own wives to do it so they could fuck other men's wives. "I want to fuck Bob's wife." "No fucking way, I'm taking the house and all your money!" "Darling, let's be Swingers. It's a Lifestyle." "Ooh that sounds classy. Ok!"" | |||
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Met some great people,and got up to a lot of kinky fuckery,so who cares...I don't | |||
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"Isn't swinging just another term for promiscuous sex? Sure it has its connotations for couple swapping but in the end its still promiscuous sex "No, it's a subset of ethical non-mongamy. It's quite possible to have promiscuous sex without being in a relationship. Easier really. | |||
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