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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP   Woman
over a year ago

evesham

i havent read the Gary Speed thread but some comments made to me by someone on MSN has got me thinking.

the comment made was that people, especially those who seem to have everything, are 'tossers' to take their own life.

My unclce, who admittedly didnt have everything, committed suicide about 15 years ago, leaving behind 3 young boys.

Personally dont think it is anything to do with being selfish or cowardly. Until we can be at that point where the only way to make life better is to end it how can we judge those that commit suicide?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

less time judging and more time finding out what makes people do this would be better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To take your own life is not being cowardardly or selfish. Its normally because the person is depressed. The depression doesnt allow them to see anything beyond what is happening to them and how they feel

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By *ngel Devil69Couple
over a year ago

Manilva

People who take their own lives, really must be at the lowest they can be and i guess we will never understand what they are going through?

Must take a hell of a lot of courage to do it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't have any right to. Depression is a horrible, dark and complex thing. I think to end your life you must be so far down the tunnel you can't see any light. You really think everyone will be better of without you and that this is the only option.

It's just a dreadful thing for those left behind to have to witness or experience.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I am guessing to get to the stage of suicide you have to be in a really dark place, and I am also guessing any rational thoughts would go out of the window

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

It'll take time for the facts to come out but I've seen people talking about a link to depression in this case.

Anyone who has had any experience of depression - either directly themselves or through a friend or family member - will know what an incredibly debilitating illness it can be.

Whatever the reasons behind it my biggest sympathies go to Gary himself who felt that he had no other option left.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I don't think they are tossers at all. Selfish maybe given what they leave behind or when they do but most are driven by depression. I knew someone who always came across as a great laugh and a decent bloke but suffered with depression and hung himself.

There was a woman who jumped off a multi storey car park during the day and a comment made in the local paper by a woman who witnessed it with her son, called her selfish as her son was distressed by it. The lady who jumped suffered from depression.

Here's another thought though, would anyone seriously call those who jumped from the twin towers tossers? I think not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am guessing to get to the stage of suicide you have to be in a really dark place, and I am also guessing any rational thoughts would go out of the window"

I think to someone not suffering the thought processes of the person harbouring suicidal thoughts, appear to be irrational...

To someone who percieves their body as being a source of unbelievable pain...it would appear to be rational for them to stop the pain...

Very subjective.....

Sometimes it doesn`t seem logical...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suicide is not the easy way out.

To them its the ONLY way out.

Heartbreaking for those left behind, sad for him but at least he is at peace now, RIP xx

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

Most people who have suicidal thoughts show some signs before it. They tend to become reclusive, a bit irritable and often this irritability is part of their thought process to make those they love back off and leave them alone. They can also lose interest in basic things like cleaning and their own appearance. If friends can pick up on possible signs and encourage them to seek help or phone those like NHS24 or the persons doctor to get a professional to give the help they need loss of life may be possible.

I speak from experience in my past and having friends who suffer depression and having worked in healthcare for years to.

My thoughts go out to those who have lost someone this way as it is definitely not aa cowards way out.

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

Most people who have suicidal thoughts show some signs before it. They tend to become reclusive, a bit irritable and often this irritability is part of their thought process to make those they love back off and leave them alone. They can also lose interest in basic things like cleaning and their own appearance. If friends can pick up on possible signs and encourage them to seek help or phone those like NHS24 or the persons doctor to get a professional to give the help they need loss of life may be possible.

I speak from experience in my past and having friends who suffer depression and having worked in healthcare for years to.

My thoughts go out to those who have lost someone this way as it is definitely not aa cowards way out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One thing I DO know...is you can`t generalise...

Motives differ...

Some plan so the discoverer is saved from horrrifying distress...

Some act in a vengeful way, planning in such a way,to bring guilt and apportion blame upon the discoverer..

Some suicidies are coldly selfish...

Some train drivers, never recover..

Sad , sad, sad...

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By *lack_BoltMan
over a year ago

oxford


"i havent read the Gary Speed thread but some comments made to me by someone on MSN has got me thinking.

the comment made was that people, especially those who seem to have everything, are 'tossers' to take their own life.

My unclce, who admittedly didnt have everything, committed suicide about 15 years ago, leaving behind 3 young boys.

Personally dont think it is anything to do with being selfish or cowardly. Until we can be at that point where the only way to make life better is to end it how can we judge those that commit suicide?"

It definitely isn't selfish or cowardly. That implies taking the easiest course of action. However trying to take your own life is very difficult and goes against all natural survival instincts.

And calling someone a 'tosser' who finds themselves in such a desperate situation that the only solution is their own loss of life, beggars belief.

Sometimes the most unlikely candidates are the ones who tend to commit suicide because, aside from the underlying cause, there's the additional pressure of saving face or keeping up appearances. And sometimes this can be enough to tip someone over the edge.

We shouldn't judge but should be saddened that in our modern society we seldom give time to people who need our emotional and spiritual support. Instead we find it easier to condemn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i havent read the Gary Speed thread but some comments made to me by someone on MSN has got me thinking.

the comment made was that people, especially those who seem to have everything, are 'tossers' to take their own life.

My unclce, who admittedly didnt have everything, committed suicide about 15 years ago, leaving behind 3 young boys.

Personally dont think it is anything to do with being selfish or cowardly. Until we can be at that point where the only way to make life better is to end it how can we judge those that commit suicide?"

Small minded people do not understand the psychological torment people can go through. People commit suicide for many reasons and some sadly are not really aware of what they are doing. They need help before the act not mocking afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Some train drivers, never recover..

Sad , sad, sad...

"

I had a wonderful friend years ago, he had just started a new job as a train driver and some poor soul jumped in front of him onto the tracks, my freiend never recovered, had a terrible break down and a few years later killed himself too.

So fuck'n sad

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

There is an excellent blog post by Stan Collymore...not sure if twitter links are ok...however he writes of the difficulty and pain those in the grip of the back dog suffer from.Death can seem the only end to that pain...

My heart goes out to anyone in that situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is an excellent blog post by Stan Collymore...not sure if twitter links are ok...however he writes of the difficulty and pain those in the grip of the back dog suffer from.Death can seem the only end to that pain...

My heart goes out to anyone in that situation."

Read that blog earlier today. It is a deeply honest reflection, written with graphic detail.

here is the blog...hope thats ok admin

Stan Collymore (@StanCollymore)

Posted Saturday 26th November 2011 from Twitlonger

It's 4:48am in the morning(Sat 26th Nov 2011),and i'm wide awake.

I decided to tweet my own personal experience of my latest bout of Depression yesterday,and firstly wanted to thank the hundreds of messages from friends,journalists,mental health workers,doctors,and sufferers,as well as well wishers.It's very humbling to read the stories of fellow sufferers,links to blogs,and general experiences of this awful illness.

I want to elaborate on what Depression is for me,as the illness has so many facets,and varies from bout to bout ,that it can be hard to explain to a fellow sufferer,never mind someone fortunate enough to have never been afflicted!

I've spent so much time with Depression sufferers who have anxiety,irrational fear,too much sleep,not enough,that it's hard to pinpoint one "thing" that Depression is or isn't.All i know is that depending on the severity of the bout,it can be made of mainly one or all of these things,so i'll explain this latest bout,and what it's effect is.

I keep myself in really good nick,i run 10k every week day,and only not go to the gym or exercise at weekends,when i commentate on football for talkSPORT.The running i find really has helped massively,as i'm sure you guys that suffer who exercise find,the tangible release of calm,and "being on top of things" powers your internal dynamo,and keeps the black dog from the door.

Around 10 days ago however,i started to feel anxiety,which grew into irrational fear,which in turn turned into insomnia for 3 days(little sleep,and an incredibly active,negative mind),that in turn over last weekend(Swansea v Man United) into Hypersomnia,whereby my energy levels dipped to zero,and my sleep went from 8 to 18 hours overnight.

So i went from last Saturday at the gym,running 10k as i normally do,looking forward to working,to Tuesday morning being unable to lift my head from the pillow, feeling like my body had been drained of any life,my brain "full" and foggy,and a body that felt like it was carrying an anvil around.

So fit and healthy one day,mind,body and soul withering and dying the next.This to me is the most frightening of experiences,and one fellow suffers i'm sure will agree is the "thud" that sets the Depression rolling.

Once it hits,then cause and effect start to kick in.I sleep 18 hours a day,so i don't see sunlight over sometime a period of a week(my worst ever bout,i spent a month in bed),which i'm sure a doctor then would tell me makes the body shut down even further.My personal world grows smaller,i detach from friends and family,partly out of self preservation,partly not wanting them to see the man bounding around days ago,now looks visibly older,weaker and pathetic.

I eat less,my personal space gets smaller,none of the vain grooming of days before,as bathing,washing,and even going to the loo seem almost impossible.So its me,pyjamas,bed and increasingly despairing thoughts of how long this one will last,a tired,desperately tired but wildly active mind burns through its own blue touch paper until the paper ends,and there is simply nothing left.

That's the point when the practicality sets in,and not a nice one(and incredible to think when you finally get well).

Suicidal thoughts.

Thankfully i've not got to that part yet,and in my last 10 years only once or twice has this practical reality entered my head,and practicality its is,unpalatable the thought may be to many.

Why a practicality? Well,if your mind is empty,your brain ceases to function,your body is pinned to the bed,the future is a dark room,with no light,and this is your reality,it takes a massive leap of faith to know that this time next week,life could be running again,smiling,my world big and my brain back as it should be.So what do some do? They don't take the leap of faith,they address a practical problem with a practical solution to them,and that is taking their own life.And sadly,too many take that route out of this hell.

I'm typing and my brain is full,cloudy and detached but i know i need to elaborate on what i'm going through because there are so many going through this that need to know it's an illness,just an illness.Not bad,mad,crazy or weak,just ill,and that with this particular illness,for its sufferers,for family and friends who are there but feel they can't help,you can!

Patience,time,kindness and support.That's all we need.No "pull your socks up",no "get out of bed you lazy git",just acknowledge the feedback the sufferer gives,get them to go to the GP asap,and help them do the little things bit by bit.

That may seem simple but in my experience,and currently as we speak,having a bath,walking for 5 minutes in the fresh air,making a meal,all things that days before were the norm,seem alien,so friends and family can help ,just by being non judgemental,and helping in the background to get the sufferer literally back on their feet.

I hope that if you are suffering,or know someone that does,that a little insight into someone elses experiences might resonate with one or two and give them the comfort of knowing that there are millions out there like us that deal with this reality in our lives.

We contribute like everyone else,so treat us like everyone else.

You are not alone,there are millions of us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have suffered 2 bouts of depression the last 1 5 yrs ago. The 2nd bout was so bad that I took an overdose in bed while my husband was downstairs, I lay there for an hr wishing just to close my eyes and never wake up it was hearing my daughter singing in her room that brought me to my senses but I could not tell my husband text a friend who called him. That was my turning point as I will never forget my husbands face as he came into bedroom and even tho we not together now I have him to thank for my being here. In my mind at the time everyone would have been better off without me but the pain I put my family thro that night made me realise how they needed me as much as I needed them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a Suicide Prevention Volunteer Our Main Things That Contribute To Suicides From Talking To People..The Most Common Being A Mental Illness,Alcoholism or Drug Abuse,Previous Suicide Attempts,Family History Of

Suicide,Terminal Illness Or Chronic Pain,Recent Loss Or A Stressful Life Event,Social Isolation And Loneliness,History Of Trauma Or Abuse,

And In Teenage Suicide The Most Common Are Childhood Abuse,Recent Traumatic Events,Hostile Social Or School Environment,Exposure To Other Teen Suicides..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Here's another thought though, would anyone seriously call those who jumped from the twin towers tossers? I think not"

I don't think they are selfish or anything for comitting suicide as I've had experience of chronic depression in the family but I dont think you can compare people trapped in a burning building who have the choice of either burning to death or jumping out of a window as being the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i had bulimia many years ago and contemplated suicide. i went to the samaitains and talked through my issues that had led me to the bulmia and sucicdal thoughts.

im so glad i did talk about it as i now have 2 beautiful kids and a life is worth living. you have to be at the lowest point to take your own life. i was so close its scary to think of it.

it has had an effect on my life having bulima and being sucicidal. i live everyday to the full now.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I was told that

' falling down is part of life, getting back up is living' reading the collymore blog and other posts ,, I've been fortunate that I've always had or found reason to get back up, I cannot start to understand the depths that people must find themselves in to contemplate never mind carry out the act,

I / we take so much for granted, it truly brings home what's important ( to me anyway) health and happiness,...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To take your own life is not being cowardardly or selfish. Its normally because the person is depressed. The depression doesnt allow them to see anything beyond what is happening to them and how they feel"
your right alot of the time its depression. Thay cant see away out of it ... thay feel this day in and day out ..And some wish thay could close there eyes and escape ..But really thay need to chat about it get it out in the open to people like samartines and close frirnds people who will not juge them for what ever it maybe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always sensed for a number of years that people who knew me and my wife (especially her friends)treated me with kid gloves, almost walking on egg shells, which frankly I did find annoying, which probably endorsed their perception. My attitude to that was to shrug my shoulders and say to myself "sod you then".

I didn't really care too much as I had my own interests and friends anyway. If she liked them that's all that really mattered.

My wife was always on the phone, our huge bills paying testament to this. I never listened or attempted to, well it turns out I should have done.

I was going out but changed my mind, my wife was on the phone as usual, she thought I'd gone out, she was in the bedroom. I went to go to the toilet, suddenly I was hearing a tale about this horrid man, who got d*unk, threatened and used violence and all kinds of unpleasantness.

I don't consider myself thick but it took a few minutes for me to fathom this chap was me. I walked into the bedroom and it took her a few minutes to realise I was there, she then let out a surprised "Ah" and put the phone down. Her friend (understandably)put 2+2 together to make 22.

I honestly could not believe it, and her attitude was it was all a private joke. Well I didn't think it was very funny and the police coming round soon after confirmed to me that her friend believed it. I'm glad they did, because I was pretty damn close to giving her what her friend thought she was getting.

I moved out that day, I had insomnia never getting more than a couple hours sleep for about two years after that I was so angry. And during that time all I wanted to do was work or be alone and it seemed every irritating twat or amateur trick cyclist seemed to latch onto me.

I considered topping myself, more to stop me doing something stupid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

monie flash cars and all does not make for peace of mind ,the brain is complexed ,and who no what was troubling the guy ,depretion has no doorways at can atack ritch or poor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think people who take this road are "tossers". Far from it and it's just so so sad that folks are in such a place that they see it as the only way out.

As for people calling suicide victims "tossers" to me that is an indicator of a far wider and prevalent illness in today's society with some people.

In a nutshell it's the me,me,me outlook and the absolute lack of care and intolerance for others. It's such a shame that our society has come to this and you see the worst of it with keyboard warriors on the internet posting cruel rubbish.

A wise man once said it's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate...it takes guts to be gentle and kind. What a shame we can't look out for our fellow humans rather than mock and be nasty to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

5 people i have known over the years have commtted suicide ...im all cases there was a reason all of them different ..its not a cowards way out, none of them were "tossers" but i do think its very selfish ...everyone left behind just wonders what they could have done to help and the only answer is NOTHING .....you have to accept that ....

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I find this thread very interesting on a number of levels. It shows how far we have come in the acceptance of depression and how people are aware of what a disabling illness it is.

Although its no secret ive never mentioned it on these forums.

I was diagnosed with severe depression at 15 and at 19 manic depression. My full diagnosis now is type 1 bi-polar(rapid cycle) with borderline personality disorder running along the side of it.

Rapid cycle means it is constant. Some people can go years between a bout of mania or depression. My moods can go from one extreme to the other over the period of a day or hours.

At times my life is hell. Im rarely able to travel on my own outside my local area, i suffer extreme anxiety. paranio, insomina and a 100 different symptoms that come with the illness.

When i was first diagnosed people used to assume you where some kind of violent nutter, all i ever wanted was for people to have a true understanding.

I think its around 15 people i know that have taken their own lives. Around 15% of people with bi polar will commit suicide.

However, treatment today is so much better, different and better medication, support workers, care in the community.

I have been sectioned 9 times in my life and lost count of the suicide attempts ive made.

I havent attemted suicide or been in hospital for six years and i have been taken off the enhanced at risk register.

I know there is certain things i can and cant do but i manage my illness as best i can. Plus i have such a fantastic support network.

If anyone on here does suffer, please please get the right support, you can lead a resonable life. Life isnt easy and every day is a battle for me but i lead a very good quality of life compared to what i did up until about 10 years ago.

There is light at the end of the tunnel

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"I find this thread very interesting on a number of levels. It shows how far we have come in the acceptance of depression and how people are aware of what a disabling illness it is.

Although its no secret ive never mentioned it on these forums.

I was diagnosed with severe depression at 15 and at 19 manic depression. My full diagnosis now is type 1 bi-polar(rapid cycle) with borderline personality disorder running along the side of it.

Rapid cycle means it is constant. Some people can go years between a bout of mania or depression. My moods can go from one extreme to the other over the period of a day or hours.

At times my life is hell. Im rarely able to travel on my own outside my local area, i suffer extreme anxiety. paranio, insomina and a 100 different symptoms that come with the illness.

When i was first diagnosed people used to assume you where some kind of violent nutter, all i ever wanted was for people to have a true understanding.

I think its around 15 people i know that have taken their own lives. Around 15% of people with bi polar will commit suicide.

However, treatment today is so much better, different and better medication, support workers, care in the community.

I have been sectioned 9 times in my life and lost count of the suicide attempts ive made.

I havent attemted suicide or been in hospital for six years and i have been taken off the enhanced at risk register.

I know there is certain things i can and cant do but i manage my illness as best i can. Plus i have such a fantastic support network.

If anyone on here does suffer, please please get the right support, you can lead a resonable life. Life isnt easy and every day is a battle for me but i lead a very good quality of life compared to what i did up until about 10 years ago.

There is light at the end of the tunnel"

Good for you for sharing this... As very often mental issues are swept under the carpet or not spoken about. xx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I find this thread very interesting on a number of levels. It shows how far we have come in the acceptance of depression and how people are aware of what a disabling illness it is.

Although its no secret ive never mentioned it on these forums.

I was diagnosed with severe depression at 15 and at 19 manic depression. My full diagnosis now is type 1 bi-polar(rapid cycle) with borderline personality disorder running along the side of it.

Rapid cycle means it is constant. Some people can go years between a bout of mania or depression. My moods can go from one extreme to the other over the period of a day or hours.

At times my life is hell. Im rarely able to travel on my own outside my local area, i suffer extreme anxiety. paranio, insomina and a 100 different symptoms that come with the illness.

When i was first diagnosed people used to assume you where some kind of violent nutter, all i ever wanted was for people to have a true understanding.

I think its around 15 people i know that have taken their own lives. Around 15% of people with bi polar will commit suicide.

However, treatment today is so much better, different and better medication, support workers, care in the community.

I have been sectioned 9 times in my life and lost count of the suicide attempts ive made.

I havent attemted suicide or been in hospital for six years and i have been taken off the enhanced at risk register.

I know there is certain things i can and cant do but i manage my illness as best i can. Plus i have such a fantastic support network.

If anyone on here does suffer, please please get the right support, you can lead a resonable life. Life isnt easy and every day is a battle for me but i lead a very good quality of life compared to what i did up until about 10 years ago.

There is light at the end of the tunnel

Good for you for sharing this... As very often mental issues are swept under the carpet or not spoken about. xx"

Ive never mentioned it on the forums before but thought it was apt for this thread. Feel as though i have bared my soul, but if it helps one person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

diamondsmiles I would like to say thankyou for taking the time to wright this letter in forum and cant be easy but alot can learn so much from seeing this post . There is light at the end of the tunnel and you shine here in the forum as a really lovely lady . Well done xx you have done so well after all this and taking over 5 stone off too .. your one hell of a woman xxxxxx

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Something has just come to me as I read Diamonds post.. Just humour me on this...

This morning there was a program on the BBC called "Noise Squad". One of the segments was about a couple who lived next to a guy with a metal wind chime. They complained to the council about the noise it made.

Now when I first heard it, I though "But that is a nice soothing noise"! However, if you had to live with it, day in day out it would become as bad as any industrial noise!

The point I am trying to make is this. At first glance, anyone can have a problem that seems to the rest of us as trivial, but if that problem was day in day out? Well, like the wind chime, it ceases to be trivial and becomes a major factor. It may be blown out of all proportion, but it is still very real to the sufferer.

I have suffered from mild depression for years. I am easy to anger at home and I am over emotional. I have "black" thoughts and I shy away from contact although I am at other times, quite gregarious! Some times I don't like anything!

It has finally taken its toll and I am no longer working for myself. But I live in hope of getting a job of somekind to do, just have to survive till then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i havent read the Gary Speed thread but some comments made to me by someone on MSN has got me thinking.

the comment made was that people, especially those who seem to have everything, are 'tossers' to take their own life.

My unclce, who admittedly didnt have everything, committed suicide about 15 years ago, leaving behind 3 young boys.

Personally dont think it is anything to do with being selfish or cowardly. Until we can be at that point where the only way to make life better is to end it how can we judge those that commit suicide?"

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alot can have thing going on is there life and you never know untill its to late ... thay get so good at putting on a front . I was a Samaritan for years i will will go back to it again as i know the work thay do is needed.

You can talk to Samaritans at any time of the day or night.

Samaritans provides confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide ... more

Common reasons to call Samaritans are:

Relationship and family problems

Loss, including loss of a job, a friend or a family member through bereavement

Financial worries

Job-related stress or overwork

College or study related stress

Body image issues

Volunteers offer support by responding to phone calls, emails and letters. Alternatively, you can often drop in to a branch to have a face to face meeting.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Quite often, just someone to listen and not pass judgement is all that is needed to help the darkness pass. Knowing where to turn and get help...

How desperate must you be to hang yourself, to jump in front of a train or throw yourself off a cliff?

If only we could walk a mile in their shoes...

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I just wanted to add, one of the main reasons for being much better than i was was when i came to terms with it. I fought and fought for 25 years, hated taking my medication wouldnt do as the doctors told me ect. Once i accepted i had an illness and listend to them, took my medication properly it helped me. Also there are ways of dealing with suicidal thoughts/tendancies. Phone numbers to ring, points of contact ect. All mine are still in place although i dont use them anymore.

Oh and _umour is right, beleive it or not i can deal with lives big things, ie death, divorce ect. But something like my curtains not being even could set me into a madness for weeks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this thread very interesting on a number of levels. It shows how far we have come in the acceptance of depression and how people are aware of what a disabling illness it is.

Although its no secret ive never mentioned it on these forums.

I was diagnosed with severe depression at 15 and at 19 manic depression. My full diagnosis now is type 1 bi-polar(rapid cycle) with borderline personality disorder running along the side of it.

Rapid cycle means it is constant. Some people can go years between a bout of mania or depression. My moods can go from one extreme to the other over the period of a day or hours.

At times my life is hell. Im rarely able to travel on my own outside my local area, i suffer extreme anxiety. paranio, insomina and a 100 different symptoms that come with the illness.

When i was first diagnosed people used to assume you where some kind of violent nutter, all i ever wanted was for people to have a true understanding.

I think its around 15 people i know that have taken their own lives. Around 15% of people with bi polar will commit suicide.

However, treatment today is so much better, different and better medication, support workers, care in the community.

I have been sectioned 9 times in my life and lost count of the suicide attempts ive made.

I havent attemted suicide or been in hospital for six years and i have been taken off the enhanced at risk register.

I know there is certain things i can and cant do but i manage my illness as best i can. Plus i have such a fantastic support network.

If anyone on here does suffer, please please get the right support, you can lead a resonable life. Life isnt easy and every day is a battle for me but i lead a very good quality of life compared to what i did up until about 10 years ago.

There is light at the end of the tunnel"

xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Here's another thought though, would anyone seriously call those who jumped from the twin towers tossers? I think not"

How on earth do you manage to compare the two?!! I think there's a marked difference between chosing a relatively quick death, jumping, than being burnt to death.

People are assuming he was depressed, I haven't read anywhere that he was. I have more sympathy for those that go off in the woods and kill themselves. Those that kill themselves in their kids bedroom or at home for their loved ones to find are selfish in my opinion.

A permanent solution to a temporary problem usually.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"

Here's another thought though, would anyone seriously call those who jumped from the twin towers tossers? I think not

How on earth do you manage to compare the two?!! I think there's a marked difference between chosing a relatively quick death, jumping, than being burnt to death.

People are assuming he was depressed, I haven't read anywhere that he was. I have more sympathy for those that go off in the woods and kill themselves. Those that kill themselves in their kids bedroom or at home for their loved ones to find are selfish in my opinion.

A permanent solution to a temporary problem usually. "

I have to agree.. There can be many reasons why someone chooses to take their life. You don't have to be depressed to commit suicide there are many reasons why someone does it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Here's another thought though, would anyone seriously call those who jumped from the twin towers tossers? I think not

How on earth do you manage to compare the two?!! I think there's a marked difference between chosing a relatively quick death, jumping, than being burnt to death.

People are assuming he was depressed, I haven't read anywhere that he was. I have more sympathy for those that go off in the woods and kill themselves. Those that kill themselves in their kids bedroom or at home for their loved ones to find are selfish in my opinion.

A permanent solution to a temporary problem usually. "

I know after what I did I did feel selfish , seeing the look on first my husbands and then kids face as the ambulance turned up but and this may sound wrong it helped me to figure out I was worth something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Here's another thought though, would anyone seriously call those who jumped from the twin towers tossers? I think not

How on earth do you manage to compare the two?!! I think there's a marked difference between chosing a relatively quick death, jumping, than being burnt to death.

People are assuming he was depressed, I haven't read anywhere that he was. I have more sympathy for those that go off in the woods and kill themselves. Those that kill themselves in their kids bedroom or at home for their loved ones to find are selfish in my opinion.

A permanent solution to a temporary problem usually. "

Yep....I know a suicide , who planned for his 9 year old daughter to find him....home from school, into the bedroom...

That was callous and cruel, nevermind selfish...and laced with self pity...given the circumstances, particular to that family...

One can only imagine the effect on the child..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Here's another thought though, would anyone seriously call those who jumped from the twin towers tossers? I think not

How on earth do you manage to compare the two?!! I think there's a marked difference between chosing a relatively quick death, jumping, than being burnt to death.

People are assuming he was depressed, I haven't read anywhere that he was. I have more sympathy for those that go off in the woods and kill themselves. Those that kill themselves in their kids bedroom or at home for their loved ones to find are selfish in my opinion.

A permanent solution to a temporary problem usually. "

I think to call anyone who commits suicide without involving others selfish is out of order! You have no clue what state of mind people are in.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"I find this thread very interesting on a number of levels. It shows how far we have come in the acceptance of depression and how people are aware of what a disabling illness it is.

Although its no secret ive never mentioned it on these forums.

I was diagnosed with severe depression at 15 and at 19 manic depression. My full diagnosis now is type 1 bi-polar(rapid cycle) with borderline personality disorder running along the side of it.

Rapid cycle means it is constant. Some people can go years between a bout of mania or depression. My moods can go from one extreme to the other over the period of a day or hours.

At times my life is hell. Im rarely able to travel on my own outside my local area, i suffer extreme anxiety. paranio, insomina and a 100 different symptoms that come with the illness.

When i was first diagnosed people used to assume you where some kind of violent nutter, all i ever wanted was for people to have a true understanding.

I think its around 15 people i know that have taken their own lives. Around 15% of people with bi polar will commit suicide.

However, treatment today is so much better, different and better medication, support workers, care in the community.

I have been sectioned 9 times in my life and lost count of the suicide attempts ive made.

I havent attemted suicide or been in hospital for six years and i have been taken off the enhanced at risk register.

I know there is certain things i can and cant do but i manage my illness as best i can. Plus i have such a fantastic support network.

If anyone on here does suffer, please please get the right support, you can lead a resonable life. Life isnt easy and every day is a battle for me but i lead a very good quality of life compared to what i did up until about 10 years ago.

There is light at the end of the tunnel

Good for you for sharing this... As very often mental issues are swept under the carpet or not spoken about. xx

Ive never mentioned it on the forums before but thought it was apt for this thread. Feel as though i have bared my soul, but if it helps one person"

absolute and total respect for being so open, and brave in doing so.

xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Here's another thought though, would anyone seriously call those who jumped from the twin towers tossers? I think not

How on earth do you manage to compare the two?!! I think there's a marked difference between chosing a relatively quick death, jumping, than being burnt to death.

People are assuming he was depressed, I haven't read anywhere that he was. I have more sympathy for those that go off in the woods and kill themselves. Those that kill themselves in their kids bedroom or at home for their loved ones to find are selfish in my opinion.

A permanent solution to a temporary problem usually.

I think to call anyone who commits suicide without involving others selfish is out of order! You have no clue what state of mind people are in."

I think you need to re read her post..

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By *riendlyfunfemWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Very few of us can imagine feeling so low as to want to end our lives. My daughter attempted suicide 3 time last year, she. Is 21, thank god she'll be celebrating 22 tomorrow. She felt there was no point to he life and just 'didn't want to be here'.

No one should judge. We all have could reach that low point, who knows what it takes to push a person over the edge. But to actually want to die a person must be in a very very bad place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading Di's post above made me realise just what a severe illness depression can be. Up until this year death had never really touched me, nobody I ever knew really well ever died in my lifetime apart from grandparents (I was too young to remember them) and a cousin who died of cancer after falling from a horse 10 years ago (the paralysis triggered breast cancer, then it went to her organs).

This year I've lost an Aunt, an Uncle and another cousin in the space of the last four months (funeral of cousin is on Wednesday).

I think it is my lack of understanding about death and the darker side of life that makes me somewhat ignorant about mental illness and it's consequences. I just haven't had to face it or deal with it, and I'll be honest here, up until reading Di's post above two minutes ago I've always had the 'oh bluddy man up and pull yourself together' attitude. I did read Stan Collymore's twitter blog a couple of days ago and that had a part to play in my attitude towards depression and people who commit suicide, but Di's post really rammed the point home that it IS an illness and should be treated as such, and for that, I have to thank Diamond for opening my eyes.

...and for being so openly honest about herself. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know you can never legislate for an unbalanced mind.

But I do find it hard not to think that a suicide that brings others physically into the equation to be anything other than selfish.

Two instances round my way where a chap picks up his kids drive to a motorway bridge and hurls himself off landing on some family traveling back from their holiday and another where he does the same and drives into a river and only succeeds in killing the kids.

I hope should I ever feel the need, I just jump off the Severn bridge and let the tide do the job of disposing of the body.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

You are such a saint. If you can plan with such forethought you are not ill.

They were. They couldn't.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Reading Di's post above made me realise just what a severe illness depression can be. Up until this year death had never really touched me, nobody I ever knew really well ever died in my lifetime apart from grandparents (I was too young to remember them) and a cousin who died of cancer after falling from a horse 10 years ago (the paralysis triggered breast cancer, then it went to her organs).

This year I've lost an Aunt, an Uncle and another cousin in the space of the last four months (funeral of cousin is on Wednesday).

I think it is my lack of understanding about death and the darker side of life that makes me somewhat ignorant about mental illness and it's consequences. I just haven't had to face it or deal with it, and I'll be honest here, up until reading Di's post above two minutes ago I've always had the 'oh bluddy man up and pull yourself together' attitude. I did read Stan Collymore's twitter blog a couple of days ago and that had a part to play in my attitude towards depression and people who commit suicide, but Di's post really rammed the point home that it IS an illness and should be treated as such, and for that, I have to thank Diamond for opening my eyes.

...and for being so openly honest about herself. xxx"

Thankyou wishy and that is why i am now really glad i put that post on.

Thankyou also for being honest as i know there are a lot of people like yourself. But as i said in the last few years there does seem to be far more acceptance of it than before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This time of the year coming up to xmas you do get more suicides circumstances of extreme stress, emotional upset, abuse, poverty, terrible living conditions, neglect, poor health, injury, disability - especially with no apparent hope of change or improvement can and do precipitate depression and suicidal thoughts for some. Help is out there but you have to wish to help yourself too ... and at times thay feel just so low and dont see a way out . Do you know chating and being open about things is the first step .. it really is ...

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By *riendlyfunfemWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

As its been said, there are so many reasons why people get so down as to want to end their lives.

In my daughters case it was ill health and being in constant pain and in and out of hospital for 4 years. As a teenager she could no longer drink, dance, and all the things she enjoyed, she couldn't work and the money situation made things worse, she then became distanced from her friends and on top of that a father who was constantly putting her down and falling out with her.

She once asked, "what's the point of me?" It was heartbreaking and I myself suffered with stress and depression as a consequence.

Everyone is different, some people can deal easily with problems and stress, others can't.

I do agree that when people get so low they do not think rationally and even though they may do things that hurt those close to them they are in such a bad place its irrelevant.

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By *ucky_LadsCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Kidderminster+ surrounding areas.

[Removed by poster at 28/11/11 20:31:03]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As its been said, there are so many reasons why people get so down as to want to end their lives.

In my daughters case it was ill health and being in constant pain and in and out of hospital for 4 years. As a teenager she could no longer drink, dance, and all the things she enjoyed, she couldn't work and the money situation made things worse, she then became distanced from her friends and on top of that a father who was constantly putting her down and falling out with her.

She once asked, "what's the point of me?" It was heartbreaking and I myself suffered with stress and depression as a consequence.

Everyone is different, some people can deal easily with problems and stress, others can't.

I do agree that when people get so low they do not think rationally and even though they may do things that hurt those close to them they are in such a bad place its irrelevant."

Your daughter was in pain and distress and her father was not supporting her and you, in fact making things worse, in that situation no wonder she was suicidal. She probably thought her death would ease your pain.

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