FabSwingers.com forum: Worst sex toy

By *nsatiable_nymph OP Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere down south

What's the worst toy you've ever purchased or used?

Whether it broke easily or didn't have the desired effect!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a cock ring snap on me

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By *riefcase_WankerMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Don't want to post the link for fear of getting a slap on the wrist, but Jim Jefferies does a hilarious skit about when sex toys go wrong (the story doesn't start until a couple of minutes in)

Google Jim Jefferies Comedy Blue, it's not on YouTube

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Rabbit.... Don't get all the fuss about them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mini wand from Ann Summers. Waste of money

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By *lirtyfun!!Woman
over a year ago

Epsom

I bought a maia remote control egg, it's purple with clit 'ears'. So, I did what you'd expect with a remote control egg, went out for drinks, handed the remote over for some teasing fun. Useless! Unless the remote was pointed directly at my crotch from less than about 10cm away, it did nothing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I bought a maia remote control egg, it's purple with clit 'ears'. So, I did what you'd expect with a remote control egg, went out for drinks, handed the remote over for some teasing fun. Useless! Unless the remote was pointed directly at my crotch from less than about 10cm away, it did nothing!

"
was it on

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By *lirtyfun!!Woman
over a year ago

Epsom

"Rabbit.... Don't get all the fuss about them "

I thought this, I'd tried a few and they did nothing. Then I got the Tracey Cox supersex rabbit... It's now my go-to toy.

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By *lirtyfun!!Woman
over a year ago

Epsom

was it on

Ah... Maybe that was the problem! Ha, yes, of course it was on.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So 4" is handy sometimes

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By *BWandhusbandCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

My rabbit toy got binned. Load of rubbish.

We've had two remote control vibrating egg things, both useless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A mini wand and a rabbit from Lovehoney.

And candy cock rings! Absolutely pointless, I ended up just eating them in the end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vibrators in general including wands do nothing for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Durex bullet vibe... Awful

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By *lirtyfun!!Woman
over a year ago

Epsom

So 4" is handy sometimes

Hehe, apparently so!

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

sand

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Rabbit.... Don't get all the fuss about them

I thought this, I'd tried a few and they did nothing. Then I got the Tracey Cox supersex rabbit... It's now my go-to toy.

Just goes to show how we all prefer different things.

The Tracey Cox rabbit is the worst toy I've had. It's just the wrong shape for my body. The ears get nowhere near my clit and it does nothing for me.

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

The wand. Like a pneumatic drill between my legs. It’s not for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The hole in the fence wow the splinters hurt

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Toss up between the nipple suction cups that were supposed to be "arousing" but did anything but (which were down to poor design) and the large butt plug that doesn't fit (that was down to my eyes being bigger than my....

)

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I’m quite disenchanted with most vibrators, the noise and vibrations tend to irritate me rather than stimulate me

I’d rather have a snog and a finger than a vibrator

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By *lirtyfun!!Woman
over a year ago

Epsom

"Rabbit.... Don't get all the fuss about them

I thought this, I'd tried a few and they did nothing. Then I got the Tracey Cox supersex rabbit... It's now my go-to toy.

Just goes to show how we all prefer different things.

The Tracey Cox rabbit is the worst toy I've had. It's just the wrong shape for my body. The ears get nowhere near my clit and it does nothing for me."

Ah, yes, funnily enough it's the only one I've found that does hit my clit! Ears have been too long on others.

Maybe there's a gap in the market for a rabbit with adjustable ears. Any budding entrepreneurs?!

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

Anything that vibrates. Just make me feel numb.

I’ve snapped a couple of riding crops too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rabbit.... Don't get all the fuss about them

I thought this, I'd tried a few and they did nothing. Then I got the Tracey Cox supersex rabbit... It's now my go-to toy.

Just goes to show how we all prefer different things.

The Tracey Cox rabbit is the worst toy I've had. It's just the wrong shape for my body. The ears get nowhere near my clit and it does nothing for me.

Ah, yes, funnily enough it's the only one I've found that does hit my clit! Ears have been too long on others.

Maybe there's a gap in the market for a rabbit with adjustable ears. Any budding entrepreneurs?!"

I'm working on a couple of designs and hope to have a prototype up and running in September.

Fancy being chief test pilot?

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

My ex husband.

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

"My ex husband. "

toyboy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex husband. "
omg you can't say that

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By *BWandhusbandCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"My ex husband. "

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By *att71Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Mt right hand..tires easily and repetitious lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mini wand from Ann Summers. Waste of money

You wanna get one from HSS hire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My rabbit toy got binned. Load of rubbish.

We've had two remote control vibrating egg things, both useless."

Yes the vibrating egg things are a total waste of money for me - just an irritating buzz.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m quite disenchanted with most vibrators, the noise and vibrations tend to irritate me rather than stimulate me

I’d rather have a snog and a finger than a vibrator

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do the ladies feel about a dildo slipped onto a industrial drilling machine

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By *s24u!Couple
over a year ago

Limerick

Loved my vibrating egg with multiple settings on remote control from LoveHoney but the batteries don't last feck all

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"What's the worst toy you've ever purchased or used?

Whether it broke easily or didn't have the desired effect! "

A vibrator that I had to keep the on button pressed in with my finger! What’s the use in that? It went in the dustbin!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"My ex husband.

toyboy?"
nope

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"My ex husband. omg you can't say that"
I jolly well can....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex husband. omg you can't say thatI jolly well can.... "
oh no you cant

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"My ex husband. omg you can't say thatI jolly well can.... oh no you cant"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex husband. omg you can't say thatI jolly well can.... oh no you cant

"
he's behind you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got a Toy from love honey a few year ago called the Sqweel, a wheel of silicon tongues £50 of absolute shite

but their return policy is Quality and got our money back within a week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My left hand it’s useless for wanked with haha no coordination unless it’s playing guitar or piano.

Actual toys erm had double ender with ex gf problem was it didn’t attract bi women to just flock to share with ex. In porn they just appear once double ender appears lol

Rabbit just don’t last with partner he mate has same issue just seem to crush an break em. They say it’s hose riding given muscle strength must admit when partner orgasms she does clench so I understand how toy feels lol

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By *nsatiable_nymph OP Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere down south

"Had a cock ring snap on me"

Hubby and I have had loads break too

they don't appear to last more then once!

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By *nsatiable_nymph OP Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere down south

"My rabbit toy got binned. Load of rubbish.

We've had two remote control vibrating egg things, both useless."

We've also tried those egg, complete waste of money!

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By *nsatiable_nymph OP Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere down south

"I’m quite disenchanted with most vibrators, the noise and vibrations tend to irritate me rather than stimulate me

I’d rather have a snog and a finger than a vibrator

couldn't agree more!

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By *itvclaireTV/TS
over a year ago

Birmingham

"What's the worst toy you've ever purchased or used?

Whether it broke easily or didn't have the desired effect! "

Prostrate toy and a good one apparently. Does nothing at all for me.

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By *nsatiable_nymph OP Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere down south

"I’ve snapped a couple of riding crops too"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We bought a cheapie vibrating butt plug from wish. Thought we would give it a go, having always bought sex toys from reputable sites.

Anyway the butt plug was silicone with a removable silver bullet in it....needless to say the quality wasn’t great at all but we gave it a go anyway....we’ll that was a mistake. The collar on the end, which stops you pushing it too far it was so flimsy....

Cut a long story short and we lost it in L’s bum ....luckily after sitting on the toilet for a bit and a few fingers in the vag to stop it going any further up we finally got it out....

We find this story hilarious now but at the time L was furious

Bottom line don’t buy sex toys from wish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mars bar

Melts too quickly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bought an oscillating dildo from Ann Summers, every time I was getting there I'd clench and stop it, waste of money

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mars bar

Melts too quickly "

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

"I’ve snapped a couple of riding crops too

Is it even possible to crop a crop

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By *lirtyfun!!Woman
over a year ago

Epsom

"Rabbit.... Don't get all the fuss about them

I thought this, I'd tried a few and they did nothing. Then I got the Tracey Cox supersex rabbit... It's now my go-to toy.

Just goes to show how we all prefer different things.

The Tracey Cox rabbit is the worst toy I've had. It's just the wrong shape for my body. The ears get nowhere near my clit and it does nothing for me.

Ah, yes, funnily enough it's the only one I've found that does hit my clit! Ears have been too long on others.

Maybe there's a gap in the market for a rabbit with adjustable ears. Any budding entrepreneurs?!

I'm working on a couple of designs and hope to have a prototype up and running in September.

Fancy being chief test pilot?

Excellent

I'm sure there would be a few ladies here who wouldn't mind testing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My rabbit toy got binned. Load of rubbish.

We've had two remote control vibrating egg things, both useless.

We've also tried those egg, complete waste of money! "

Ive had one too and just ate through batteries and died before I even got going.

Replaces it with lovense lush which is rechargeable and love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the worst toy you've ever purchased or used?

Whether it broke easily or didn't have the desired effect! "

Somebody once told me that one of best cheap sex toys for a man was a water melon but I damn near killed myself trying to get it up there.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

A banana in Egypt, never had so much yogurt from the breakfast bar.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

G-spot vibrator from Lovehoney, did nothing for me at all despite the recommendation from a friend and amazing reviews!

Mrs F x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Bluetooth wevibe, supposed to be able to use it from across the world using your phone's, never worked from day 1

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"G-spot vibrator from Lovehoney, did nothing for me at all despite the recommendation from a friend and amazing reviews!

Mrs F x"

You didn’t have a man use it on you did you?

L so dislikes her ears ticking.,,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"G-spot vibrator from Lovehoney, did nothing for me at all despite the recommendation from a friend and amazing reviews!

Mrs F x

You didn’t have a man use it on you did you?

L so dislikes her ears ticking.,,,

Ha! Nooo, it didn’t pass the solo test!

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