FabSwingers.com forum: Should we just give in or keep trying

By *hite Snake OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

Last November my wife had to have an emergency colostomy operation. She now feels ready to play again however as soon as we mention her op responses dry up (we do mention in our profile that she has a stoma) even some friends have now said they will only meet for a social. The colostomy bag is well hidden under her lingerie and can't be seen and doesn't affect her in the bedroom (crotchless lingerie is great). We are getting really fed up of all the negativity and just want to find some nice couples to play with every now and then. Is this the end of our swinging life or should we persevere in hope of finding someone to play with.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Absolutely carry on!

Do you do clubs? If people can see that it’s not an issue it may help. I also want to say that she’s awesome in wanting to carry on and not let it effect her negatively.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Carry on

I’ve met someone with one before and it didn’t bother me one bit

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Firstly I think your openness and honesty is to be applauded - we all have things about us that we're self-conscious of and it sounds to me like you're at least trying to face your demons and be upfront about it.

Why should you give up because of it? There probably will be some people who are either lacking knowledge or immediately imagine the worst and if they don't want to meet you because of it, rather than being understanding, considerate and wanting to understand any limitations it may cause, would you really want to meet them anyway?

I'm sure there are plenty of people that would meet you regardless - it may mean you have to look that little bit harder but am sure when you find people that see beyond the colostomy it will make it all the more worthwhile.

The only thing I would say is your profile blurb mentions it twice, so it almost comes across that you make a "thing" of it yourselves - as mentioned above I think it's great that you're open and honest about it, and do think it's right to include it in your profile but maybe not have it as the first thing you read - move it to the bottom and make it clear it doesn't impact play at all and is hidden by lingerie.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of people find it difficult to meet compatible people. It's just one of those things. It's up to you both if you want to carry on looking. I'd imagine just being rejected all the time would get soul destroying. Maybe try a different angle, like clubs.

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Carry on I say

If they don’t like it then it’s their loss

Xxxx

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By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan
over a year ago

North Wessex Downs

She looks lovely. I guess this is where you find out who your friends really are. I can't imagine it being an issue, but then I guess different people swing for different reasons..... Good luck - I'm sure you'll have no problems going forward!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Last November my wife had to have an emergency colostomy operation. She now feels ready to play again however as soon as we mention her op responses dry up (we do mention in our profile that she has a stoma) even some friends have now said they will only meet for a social. The colostomy bag is well hidden under her lingerie and can't be seen and doesn't affect her in the bedroom (crotchless lingerie is great). We are getting really fed up of all the negativity and just want to find some nice couples to play with every now and then. Is this the end of our swinging life or should we persevere in hope of finding someone to play with."

I don't see the problem if it's well hidden some people are too picky lease days

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You mention that she might not always play but will be present at any meets. It could be this that's stopping people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see the problem if it's well hidden some people are too picky lease days"

It will bother some people. I doubt the OP would want to meet someone that felt uncomfortable. It's not picky to want to be attracted to who they meet.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Go for it anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would carry on doing what you do....use it as an educational opportunity. Most people (sweeping statement I know) are not not attracted because of the stoma but because they dont know anything about it and are scared of the unknown. Dont let narrow minded people influence your life choices. Sending hugs of positivity x

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By *hite Snake OP Man
over a year ago

leeds

"Absolutely carry on!

Do you do clubs? If people can see that it’s not an issue it may help. I also want to say that she’s awesome in wanting to carry on and not let it effect her negatively. "

We only meet in clubs our favourite club Quest even allow Millie to use the staff loo to change into her clubwear to avoid any embarrassing situations in the changing area. Hopefully people will realise Millies condition is not abnormal and we can get back to some good sexy playing sometime soon.

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