FabSwingers.com forum: Random rant

By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

One of the most annoying things is a couple or a single person looking at your profile, periodically, after they (the husband, more like) have explicitly told you that they (he, more like) are not interested in you....And as for the shitty excuse of “I didn’t remember who you are”, “I was only browsing” or.... “there’s no law against people looking at you”....well, there f@cking well is the unwritten law of NOT sending deliberate mixed messages to somebody. I mean, come on....you are from a tiny—relatively—community of swinger couples, you probably have seen most of the profiles from your area....What more is there for you to discover in my profile? Do you think you will find something that will make you less “not interested” the next time??

And, come on, we all know that there is a difference between browsing a series of profile results that were generated by a random keyword and deliberately CLICKING on and browsing a profile....

(No, the incident did NOT happen in this site by the way)

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Aaaand breathe

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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

I know....sometimes I get those “calm down dear” moments.....lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thread title just makes me wanna scream .... Prince Charming and strut around doing the dance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block them and they can't look then.

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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

Unfortunately there is no option to block people from looking at you at that site....only from contacting you...

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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

"Thread title just makes me wanna scream .... Prince Charming and strut around doing the dance "

What do you mean? It WAS a random rant provoked by somebody in the last 15 minutes, from another site and I thought of posting my rant here.....hence, the title.....

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

I can only speak for myself but I have a shit memory and often click on profiles and don't realise ive looked before until a certain pic or I read the profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thread title just makes me wanna scream .... Prince Charming and strut around doing the dance

What do you mean? It WAS a random rant provoked by somebody in the last 15 minutes, from another site and I thought of posting my rant here.....hence, the title....."

Calm down

It sounds like Adam Ant to me is all

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

And this is why women browse on stealth mode. Looking at a profile is in no way an expression of interest. It could be curiosity. I confess that sometimes I look at profiles because I've seen some sort of indication that they'll be bad. But before I turned on stealth mode a lot of people assumed that looking meant I was ready to meet them. Err, no. Looking means I'm looking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately there is no option to block people from looking at you at that site....only from contacting you..."

Stay here then. Maybe they like one of your pics but dont want to meet. Pics are there to be looked at

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By *r FuckableMan
over a year ago

Stoke

"I can only speak for myself but I have a shit memory and often click on profiles and don't realise ive looked before until a certain pic or I read the profile. "

Exactly that for me too.. Ha ha.

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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

"I can only speak for myself but I have a shit memory and often click on profiles and don't realise ive looked before until a certain pic or I read the profile. "

Well.....the swinging “community” here is bigger....you could be excused for doing it genuinely in this site....the one in Athens though is probably tiny compared to the U.K. one. And....I guess I am being cynical after all the crap from men on fab g u y s as well......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And this is why women browse on stealth mode. Looking at a profile is in no way an expression of interest. It could be curiosity. I confess that sometimes I look at profiles because I've seen some sort of indication that they'll be bad. But before I turned on stealth mode a lot of people assumed that looking meant I was ready to meet them. Err, no. Looking means I'm looking. "

Exactly this.

I don’t just look at profiles I’m interested in, I look at many different profiles out of curiosity to see what they’ve written or uploaded. It’s not a crime.

It’s quite annoying that you look at someone’s profile after reading what they’ve written on a forum or because they’ve looked at you and they message you “Are you interested then, I see you viewed me” it’s called browsing! There’s nothing wrong with it.

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

"Unfortunately there is no option to block people from looking at you at that site....only from contacting you..."

If you block them they cannot look at your profile they may try but won't see anything other than a blocked message

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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

Yes, look at me once. Tell me you’re not interested if I contact you. We leave it at that. But don’t keep looking at me and try to fob me off. It is mixed messages

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Yes, look at me once. Tell me you’re not interested if I contact you. We leave it at that. But don’t keep looking at me and try to fob me off. It is mixed messages"

I don't think you're helping yourself with that view. Looking is just looking. I look at profiles repeatedly for all sorts of reasons. I've forgotten who they are, I like their pictures, I want to see who's verified them. Sometimes the profile is a train wreck. Sometimes a friend says "have you seen this?" and I look.

If I say I am or might be interested, I am or might be interested. If I say no, the answer is no. If I haven't said, then it's unknown. Not mixed.

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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

Yes, look at me once. Tell me you’re not interested if I contact you. We leave it at that. But don’t keep looking at me and try to fob me off. It is mixed messages

If I say I am or might be interested, I am or might be interested. If I say no, the answer is no. If I haven't said, then it's unknown. Not mixed. "

So....you would repeatedly look at a profile because you like their pictures but....you wouldn’t want to meet them......I have to admit, it hasn’t happened to me here....

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I have done, yes. I can admire someone physically and have them put me off for other reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, look at me once. Tell me you’re not interested if I contact you. We leave it at that. But don’t keep looking at me and try to fob me off. It is mixed messages

If I say I am or might be interested, I am or might be interested. If I say no, the answer is no. If I haven't said, then it's unknown. Not mixed.

So....you would repeatedly look at a profile because you like their pictures but....you wouldn’t want to meet them......I have to admit, it hasn’t happened to me here...."

Yep! Do it all the time. It's allowed you know!

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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

"I have done, yes. I can admire someone physically and have them put me off for other reasons. "

Well I suppose everybody has the right to their opinion. So you are entitled to yours. But my opinion is that it IS mixed messages if the same person looks at you repeatedly and they remember you...and they told you they’re not interested. It’s disrespectful for me. But I guess one good thing about THIS site is that the block button blocks people completely...

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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

By the way, I plead ignorance to the term ‘stealth mode’. What is it?

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"Thread title just makes me wanna scream .... Prince Charming and strut around doing the dance

What do you mean? It WAS a random rant provoked by somebody in the last 15 minutes, from another site and I thought of posting my rant here.....hence, the title.....

Calm down

It sounds like Adam Ant to me is all "

I think he might be too young to know who Adam Ant is.

I do now have Prince Charming stuck in my head now though...

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"By the way, I plead ignorance to the term ‘stealth mode’. What is it?"

You're welcome to your view, but I think you'll be less frustrated if you lose it and only take overt expressions of interest as interest.

I can't remember what it's actually called, but it means I look at profiles and don't show up as having looked. It stops me being bugged by people who assume me looking means anything.

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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

"Thread title just makes me wanna scream .... Prince Charming and strut around doing the dance

What do you mean? It WAS a random rant provoked by somebody in the last 15 minutes, from another site and I thought of posting my rant here.....hence, the title.....

Calm down

It sounds like Adam Ant to me is all

I think he might be too young to know who Adam Ant is.

I do now have Prince Charming stuck in my head now though..."

He knows who Adam Ant is......he does watch telly......x

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

We look...

Maybe cos we don't remember if we looked before.

Maybe one of us looked before, but now the other one is on the profile looking.

Maybe cos they put up a thread and we want some "background" info.

Maybe they put up a new veri and we are being nosey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people looking at your pics winds you up aren’t you on the wrong site. What you put on your profile is there to be looked at. Think you need to take things less seriously life’s too short to get wound up by things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of the most annoying things is a couple or a single person looking at your profile, periodically, after they (the husband, more like) have explicitly told you that they (he, more like) are not interested in you....And as for the shitty excuse of “I didn’t remember who you are”, “I was only browsing” or.... “there’s no law against people looking at you”....well, there f@cking well is the unwritten law of NOT sending deliberate mixed messages to somebody. I mean, come on....you are from a tiny—relatively—community of swinger couples, you probably have seen most of the profiles from your area....What more is there for you to discover in my profile? Do you think you will find something that will make you less “not interested” the next time??

And, come on, we all know that there is a difference between browsing a series of profile results that were generated by a random keyword and deliberately CLICKING on and browsing a profile....

(No, the incident did NOT happen in this site by the way)"
damn

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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

"If people looking at your pics winds you up aren’t you on the wrong site. What you put on your profile is there to be looked at. Think you need to take things less seriously life’s too short to get wound up by things "

Maybe so, but m/f couples and single women seem to have the right to rant about things that annoy them...So do I every once in a blue moon....or maybe not, because I am a ‘single’ man?..........

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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

And, come on, we all know that there is a difference between browsing a series of profile results that were generated by a random keyword and deliberately CLICKING on and browsing a profile....

(No, the incident did NOT happen in this site by the way)damn

I flirtingly bat my eyelashes back at you

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

You can rant. We can explain our side of things. As guys can to us. I don't think anyone is saying you're bad or not allowed to hold the view. Just that you're probably mistaken.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have the perfect right to rant but then you must expect to get people respond to your rant and that’s their right too.

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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

"You can rant. We can explain our side of things. As guys can to us. I don't think anyone is saying you're bad or not allowed to hold the view. Just that you're probably mistaken. "

Or maybe I am perfectly right—given how I have formed my specific argument and the circumstances surrounding the incidents I am talking about. I did use the keywords ‘repeatedly’ and ‘rejected’ after all x

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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

I wasn’t even thinking I would get that many responses in a rant that was directed to myself but publicly—if it makes sense....anyway folks. Time for me to do some fabulous cooking. See ya laters!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"You can rant. We can explain our side of things. As guys can to us. I don't think anyone is saying you're bad or not allowed to hold the view. Just that you're probably mistaken.

Maybe. But I have repeatedly looked at profiles where I have rejected them or they have rejected me. It's a free country. We've explained reasons why someone might, and without knowing the specific intention of these specific people, holding on to hope that probably casual browsing overrides a deliberate no might make you unhappy where you don't need to be. A deliberate no always overrides anything else unless it's overtly and deliberately taken back.

You may be right. You're entitled to your view. I think it'll make you unhappy and there are several reasons to suspect you might be wrong. But you're allowed to believe what you like and talk about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wasn’t even thinking I would get that many responses in a rant that was directed to myself but publicly—if it makes sense....anyway folks. Time for me to do some fabulous cooking. See ya laters!"

Peace and bananas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was quite specific for a random rant

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