FabSwingers.com forum: No respect until they've earned it

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.

Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?

Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I give everyone respect who gives it me.

Trust on the other hand should be earnt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely you treat all people the same, as decent human beings, then if they turn out to be a cunt, you have nothing to do with them.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I respect everyone initially and continue to do so unless they've not done the same.

Trust is another issue altogether. You can respect a stranger, trust requires familiarity and rapport someone you've never met can't provide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you want

Baby I got it

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

"What you want

Baby I got it "

Just a little bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I respect everyone until they lose it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I respect everyone initially and continue to do so unless they've not done the same.

Trust is another issue altogether. You can respect a stranger, trust requires familiarity and rapport someone you've never met can't provide

I like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting question SH

I don’t believe respect is automatic right based on who you are, ie a parent, manager, spiritual leader etc, it’s something that’s earned over time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you should be respectful to everyone, but that doesnt always mean you have to respect them.

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.

Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?

Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you?"

Do you mean trust more than respect?

If your starting point is respecting no-one else unless or until they prove they are worthy of it, you may find yourself living a rather sad and lonely life,

No, it's easy to show respect for other people. We do it all the time. Holding open a door for an elderly person; letting someone go before you in the supermarket queue because they only have 2 items in their basket; giving up your seat on the bus for someone who is more in need of it. etc

Trust, I think, is when you begin to drop your instinctive guard because your faith in the other person is such you believe they will not cause you harm or hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe that respect should be shown to certain demographics within our society automatically..

Others need to earn it

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

"Surely you treat all people the same, as decent human beings, then if they turn out to be a cunt, you have nothing to do with them."

Yeah, what the man said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone should be treated equally, and with respect, until they show that they, as an individual, are not worthy of it...

To do less only debases you, not them..

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

[Removed by poster at 28/07/18 09:22:44]

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Yes, you should act respectfully full stop - towards your fellow men, animals, the environment, everything - give them the basic level of respect you would hope they afford you and yours. But aside from that someone can earn my fuller respect and admiration, or lose it, by their behaviour.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I give every one the same level of basic respect to start with. It will then go up or down depending on their behaviour to myself and how they treat others. So yes to a degree a person does need to earn my respect but I don't disrespect anyone Until they have earned that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely - respect needs to be earned (I am thinking particularly of employers here)! But I always treat others with the respect I expect myself, until I discover otherwise

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

I respect people until they show a reason why i shouldnt, not everyone is going to respect you though whoever you are.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I believe that respect should be shown to certain demographics within our society automatically..

Others need to earn it"

Who would need to earn it? Who gets it automatically?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.

Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?

Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you?

Do you mean trust more than respect?

If your starting point is respecting no-one else unless or until they prove they are worthy of it, you may find yourself living a rather sad and lonely life,

Trust, I think, is when you begin to drop your instinctive guard because your faith in the other person is such you believe they will not cause you harm or hurt.

I don't know- I was chatting last week and someone said they don't respect people until they earn it. I was keeping the question vague because I want all the different angles/ types of answers.

I agree with you about trust.

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

Always treat people with respect, even at first meeting.

Respect shouldn't be earned or expected. But I can easily loose respect if someone doesn't deserve it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Amusing that most seem to think that others WANT their respect. Not only WANT it but have to EARN it.

People might not want your respect. Especially if you don't exhibit the type of behaviours they respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.

Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?

Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you?"
I treat Every one with the same respect I expect to be treated with. It isn't always the case but I won't stop treating others how I'd like to be treated.

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By *V-AliceTV/TS
over a year ago

Ayr

"Surely you treat all people the same, as decent human beings, then if they turn out to be a cunt, you have nothing to do with them."

Yep. This. It's enough.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Respect lives within your own self worth.

If you say you don't respect others then there is an underlying reason for that and you are probably not at a sufficient stage of enlightenment to be able to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll give everyone the respect a human being commands, and only will lose that respect if they give me a reason.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Always treat people with respect, even at first meeting.

Respect shouldn't be earned or expected. But I can easily loose respect if someone doesn't deserve it."

'Deserve' ....... such a loaded word.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

I think we have a default level of respect, but it's one that can rise or fall depending on what expectations we place on them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.

Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?

Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you? I treat Every one with the same respect I expect to be treated with. It isn't always the case but I won't stop treating others how I'd like to be treated. "

You don't have to treat someone you don't respect differently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.

Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?

You don't have to treat someone you don't respect differently. "
I don't tend to interact with someone I don't respect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I treat people with respect unless they give me reason not to.

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

"I treat people with respect unless they give me reason not to. "

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Seems to a be a lot of confusion between RESPECT, LOVE, TRUST etc .........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I respect everyone initially and continue to do so unless they've not done the same.

Trust is another issue altogether. You can respect a stranger, trust requires familiarity and rapport someone you've never met can't provide

Exactly this ^^^ Thankfully there is only a handful of people I've lost respect for here.

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By *ana_nana_MATTMAN!Man
over a year ago

Haywood Village, Weston-super-Mare

"I don't know- I was chatting last week and someone said they don't respect people until they earn it. I was keeping the question vague because I want all the different angles/ types of answers.

I agree with you about trust. "

I see this debate a lot, I think it's mostly caused by miscommunication.

There are different types of respect you can show someone. The two main ones are, courtesy which most would agree should be given without having to earn, the other is admiration which needs to be earned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.

Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?

You don't have to treat someone you don't respect differently. I don't tend to interact with someone I don't respect "

Sometimes you have to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you should be respectful to everyone, but that doesnt always mean you have to respect them."

I agree, I think there's different kinds of respect. I would be respectful to strangers - showing good manners and not letting the door go in their face etc, but respecting someone as a person takes time to get to know them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seems to a be a lot of confusion between RESPECT, LOVE, TRUST etc .........

Yea,I don't trust no fucker.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Seems to a be a lot of confusion between RESPECT, LOVE, TRUST etc .........

How would you define/ describe 'respect'?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.

Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?

You don't have to treat someone you don't respect differently. I don't tend to interact with someone I don't respect

Sometimes you have to. "
if I'm forced to then I do so with the good grace and manners my parents instilled in me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't know- I was chatting last week and someone said they don't respect people until they earn it. I was keeping the question vague because I want all the different angles/ types of answers.

I agree with you about trust.

I see this debate a lot, I think it's mostly caused by miscommunication.

That makes sense, thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have this conversation with the children at work a lot. I think, you should show people respect until they’ve given you a reason not too. Then, they need to earn it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Seems to a be a lot of confusion between RESPECT, LOVE, TRUST etc .........

How would you define/ describe 'respect'?"

Ah .......now that's the most important Q of all....

People are always chatting and debating away here and they seldom use a definition to work on and are therefore pissing in the wind OR put more respectfully ......just arguing with themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Earned....such a loaded word!

If one has to earn respect then is it ok to treat them am with disrespect until it is earned?

Nor really the way I want to live my life or share it with others who think I or they have to pass some imaginary threshold before we treat each other with respect and common humanity...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Seems to a be a lot of confusion between RESPECT, LOVE, TRUST etc .........

How would you define/ describe 'respect'?

Ah .......now that's the most important Q of all....

People are always chatting and debating away here and they seldom use a definition to work on and are therefore pissing in the wind OR put more respectfully ......just arguing with themselves."

Yeah I should just fuck off. People tell me that a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you should be respectful to everyone, but that doesnt always mean you have to respect them."

I fully agree

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

How I define it or use it would be context dependent.

At it's most simple respect is about ME having regard for the rights and needs of others. ( as human beings regardless of whether I like them or their behaviour )

Used more complexly 'respect' from me could be directed NOT at the individual as a person but at their skills or attributes. e.g. I might dislike a person for have high regard for their beliefs and methods. The contra is also possible.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Seems to a be a lot of confusion between RESPECT, LOVE, TRUST etc .........

How would you define/ describe 'respect'?

Ah .......now that's the most important Q of all....

People are always chatting and debating away here and they seldom use a definition to work on and are therefore pissing in the wind OR put more respectfully ......just arguing with themselves.

Yeah I should just fuck off. People tell me that a lot. "

Well ...... you can still respect that person as a human being but NOT the way they spoke to you and just feel sorry for them that they are not able to connect.

Do you want me to punch them?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Hard ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Seems to a be a lot of confusion between RESPECT, LOVE, TRUST etc .........

How would you define/ describe 'respect'?

Ah .......now that's the most important Q of all....

People are always chatting and debating away here and they seldom use a definition to work on and are therefore pissing in the wind OR put more respectfully ......just arguing with themselves.

Yeah I should just fuck off. People tell me that a lot.

Well ...... you can still respect that person as a human being but NOT the way they spoke to you and just feel sorry for them that they are not able to connect.

Do you want me to punch them?"

Thanks but no. If you punch me that would make more people happy. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.

Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?

Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you?"

I personally find it quite entitled to not respect someone until they’ve earned it.

I give respect to everyone and anyone until they give me a reason to not respect them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm happy to respect people's role and position straight off, and treat everyone with respect.

Not treating others with such respect makes me the tit not them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.

Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?

Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you?"

I give respect and courtesy until otherwise destroyed.

I would like to receive courtesy.

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By *tuartsCelloCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Treat everyone as you would like to be treated unless their behaviour dictates otherwise.

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

"Some people say they don't respect someone until they've earned it.

Do you feel this way? Or do you respect people until they've done something to destroy your respect for them?

Do you expect strangers to respect you before they know you?

I give respect and courtesy until otherwise destroyed.

I would like to receive courtesy.

Exactly.

If only everyone was the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I respect everyone initially and continue to do so unless they've not done the same.

Trust is another issue altogether. You can respect a stranger, trust requires familiarity and rapport someone you've never met can't provide

Exactly this. Trust is earned, giving everyone respect from the offset is courtesy - until something is done to lose it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Respect everyone until such times as they do something to take that away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think respect is the wrong word for first meeting someone, I dont automatically respect every individual I meet, il treat and talk to them with simple kind manners but to respect them is crazy, most people are idiots and do nothing to earn respect so I aint dishing it out to just anybody.

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

I don't disrespect them either. Respect does not have to mean that you look up to them - just that you observe their right to have boundaries

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I think respect is the wrong word for first meeting someone, I dont automatically respect every individual I meet, il treat and talk to them with simple kind manners but to respect them is crazy, most people are idiots and do nothing to earn respect so I aint dishing it out to just anybody."

I get that. This is an excellent demonstration of how people use words differently unless there is a common definition being used.

By ' I respect you' ....... I don't mean ' I look up to you' ...... or ' I admire you' ..........

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I don't disrespect them either. Respect does not have to mean that you look up to them - just that you observe their right to have boundaries"

I didn't read your reply before I posted. I agree 100%

respect has been around a lot longer than respeck !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generally cautiously trust everyone at face value but if ever deliberately let down I never do again.

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