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"I am terrible at photos. It yes I know exactly what you mean. " Ahh your photography are ok. No deception there anyway. I work as a photographer so I'm really cynical when it comes to this sort of thing | |||
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"Men only tend to take close ups of their cock, or an eye if they have teeny cocks. I've seen some cocks that look smaller in photos than in reality; they have been the shockers. " I’m sorry you had to go through that | |||
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"I relied on a (not unpleasant) face pic the very first time I ever had a social and thereby learned a lesson not to necessarily trust someone's description of their body. Being kind, I guess it's a subjective area but precisely because it's individually subjective, I now wouldn't meet without having a good idea of what they looked like via clear photos. I think it's reasonably easy to identify shots which might be misleading whether that's via clever angles, lighting, photo shopping etc. so wouldn't feel the need to do a video call. And if they haven't got, or won't send, clear pics well, that's a non starter." Oh yeah it's subjective what you like but I guess I like to see what they actually look like. I like some different body shapes but I really don't see the point in misleading people. Objectively I know what my body looks like so I think my photos should represent that. Guess the net has made me really cynical and if there's no clear photo with average as their body type I presume they are massive | |||
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" A social meet first would sort that out. Very rarely play on first meet because of that reason "But then you have to have the awkward moment rejecting them if you're not interested. Always feel harsh | |||
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" A social meet first would sort that out. Very rarely play on first meet because of that reason
But then you have to have the awkward moment rejecting them if you're not interested. Always feel harsh"If you realised that you arent interested, in order to avoid that awkward moment you have to make yourself undesirable by shitting yourself for example | |||
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"I relied on a (not unpleasant) face pic the very first time I ever had a social and thereby learned a lesson not to necessarily trust someone's description of their body. Being kind, I guess it's a subjective area but precisely because it's individually subjective, I now wouldn't meet without having a good idea of what they looked like via clear photos. I think it's reasonably easy to identify shots which might be misleading whether that's via clever angles, lighting, photo shopping etc. so wouldn't feel the need to do a video call. And if they haven't got, or won't send, clear pics well, that's a non starter. Oh yeah it's subjective what you like but I guess I like to see what they actually look like. I like some different body shapes but I really don't see the point in misleading people. Objectively I know what my body looks like so I think my photos should represent that. Guess the net has made me really cynical and if there's no clear photo with average as their body type I presume they are massive " I was agreeing with you on the subjectivity. The person I met sent a nice enough face pic but in my then naivety it hadn't really occurred to me that that might be a few years old, or that their description of their body as athletic was way off the mark so far as I was concerned. Of course, we might each have had a very different idea of what 'athletic' meant in our heads so maybe he wasn't being misleading per se (ahem) but obviously I learnt that I prefer to make up my own mind rather than be told! I totally agree with you choosing to accurately represent yourself and I try to do the same but do understand why some people are reluctant to do so. That may well mean less interest for them but that's their call not mine. I wouldn't always assume people to be 'massive' though, I think sometimes a lack of clear pics can be due to discretion / fear of being identified, lack of confidence (no matter what body type) or simple laziness. | |||
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"I relied on a (not unpleasant) face pic the very first time I ever had a social and thereby learned a lesson not to necessarily trust someone's description of their body. Being kind, I guess it's a subjective area but precisely because it's individually subjective, I now wouldn't meet without having a good idea of what they looked like via clear photos. I think it's reasonably easy to identify shots which might be misleading whether that's via clever angles, lighting, photo shopping etc. so wouldn't feel the need to do a video call. And if they haven't got, or won't send, clear pics well, that's a non starter. Oh yeah it's subjective what you like but I guess I like to see what they actually look like. I like some different body shapes but I really don't see the point in misleading people. Objectively I know what my body looks like so I think my photos should represent that. Guess the net has made me really cynical and if there's no clear photo with average as their body type I presume they are massive I was agreeing with you on the subjectivity. The person I met sent a nice enough face pic but in my then naivety it hadn't really occurred to me that that might be a few years old, or that their description of their body as athletic was way off the mark so far as I was concerned. Of course, we might each have had a very different idea of what 'athletic' meant in our heads so maybe he wasn't being misleading per se (ahem) but obviously I learnt that I prefer to make up my own mind rather than be told! I totally agree with you choosing to accurately represent yourself and I try to do the same but do understand why some people are reluctant to do so. That may well mean less interest for them but that's their call not mine. I wouldn't always assume people to be 'massive' though, I think sometimes a lack of clear pics can be due to discretion / fear of being identified, lack of confidence (no matter what body type) or simple laziness. " I think we are in agreement here. I think you are bieng a bit nice though. Even though we all have our own subjective opinion of 'athletic' we also know what the objective definition of it is: If you are overweight you are not athletic. I can understand the many reasons why people would hide who they are or what they look like but once talking to someone direct you should show them what you look like now. No matter what you look like they'll be someone out there that finds you attractive. You may have hang ups or confidence issues but that isn't a reason to decieve others. You are who you are. Being pround of that and showing yourself in all your glory does you good. I'm not talking about arrogance, just loving yourself with the realisation that you are never going to be anyone else. I know my cynical nature may sound harsh but it has kinda served me well. I came in with an open mond thinking the same as you but learnt the hard way that I want recent photos or a video chat before meeting | |||
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" A social meet first would sort that out. Very rarely play on first meet because of that reason
But then you have to have the awkward moment rejecting them if you're not interested. Always feel harsh"Would you rather reject them on a social or on a meet where sex is the expectation? In both of those situations, it will be the first time you seen each other and if you find saying ‘no thanks’ awkward, you could find yourself in tricky situations. | |||
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" A social meet first would sort that out. Very rarely play on first meet because of that reason
But then you have to have the awkward moment rejecting them if you're not interested. Always feel harsh"It's a simple drink.....you chat, drink and say goodbye. If you can't do it face to face then a message afterwards. Move on....what's so hard about that? | |||
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" A social meet first would sort that out. Very rarely play on first meet because of that reason
But then you have to have the awkward moment rejecting them if you're not interested. Always feel harsh
Would you rather reject them on a social or on a meet where sex is the expectation? In both of those situations, it will be the first time you seen each other and if you find saying ‘no thanks’ awkward, you could find yourself in tricky situations. "I would rather reject someone on a social because there are no expectations beforehand. If I meet someone one on one, I presume they are a horny person like myself and will be a little bit disappointed. I don't like that sort of rejection. I feel like I am saying they are inadequate as a person for me. And I don't want to say that to anyone. We are all beautiful in our own way just my social conditioning has made a certain type of woman attractive to me. How about you my dear? | |||
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"There's a reason people have no pics or only close ups.  "I agree. If they don’t have a wide range of photos I get suspicious. I personally have photos from different angles so anyone who may be interested can see me in all my glory and make a decision. No surprises! I’ve never understood the need for deception, it only brings disappointment! | |||
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" A social meet first would sort that out. Very rarely play on first meet because of that reason
But then you have to have the awkward moment rejecting them if you're not interested. Always feel harsh
It's a simple drink.....you chat, drink and say goodbye. If you can't do it face to face then a message afterwards. Move on....what's so hard about that? "It's not hard because I don't like rejecting people. It may be just me but I don't like communicating that someone is not attractive enough for me to sleep with. I also don't want to have pity sex.... I know some people can go there with no expectations but whenever I've met someone who I have had to say no to they have definitely had expecations | |||
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"One thing the internet and fab has definitely made me wary of is the close up photo that doesn't show you the bigger picture... forgive the play on words... Only got fooled by it the first time but it's funny how much difference an angle or crop can make. And when you have a skilled selfie taker behind the camera it makes the things even worse. Never meet anyone without video calling first. Anyone else find this?" My bug bear is the opposite - photos with the face so tiny you cannot make out what they look like. I must admit i cut out my flabby bits in pics  , but always state I'm a fat 14. | |||
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" A social meet first would sort that out. Very rarely play on first meet because of that reason
But then you have to have the awkward moment rejecting them if you're not interested. Always feel harsh
It's a simple drink.....you chat, drink and say goodbye. If you can't do it face to face then a message afterwards. Move on....what's so hard about that? "I agree, that’s why you have socials. There’s no need to be nasty. You can sit down have a coffee and a chat with them then say your goodbyes. There’s no expectation that way and there’s no need to run off screaming. | |||
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"OP, I think the wedding is off. I’m “massive”. " But you are honest about it. Was trying to make a point so forgive my phrasing. Anyway, weight doesn't come in to it when you're a soul sista. That comes packaged in all sizes and colours... Can I put the shovel away now? | |||
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"To be fair no one will post an unflattering picture. I'm like chandler from friends, literally just pull some odd face soon as a camera points my way! " Ahh but it's you in all your unflarttering glory. I find a selfie of a good looking person (one that has been perfected over years of self indulgent pouting) way more unattractive than a belly. I used to work as a photographer so I know exactly the reasons why I look bad on camera. However that awkward look on my face I pull kinda says a lot about who I am | |||
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"There's a reason people have no pics or only close ups.
I agree.
If they don’t have a wide range of photos I get suspicious.
I personally have photos from different angles so anyone who may be interested can see me in all my glory and make a decision. No surprises! I’ve never understood the need for deception, it only brings disappointment! "Same here. I wouldn’t want to meet someone who didn’t know what was in store for them, seeing their face drop as I waddled towards them  | |||
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 . M&L | |||
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" A social meet first would sort that out. Very rarely play on first meet because of that reason
But then you have to have the awkward moment rejecting them if you're not interested. Always feel harsh
Would you rather reject them on a social or on a meet where sex is the expectation? In both of those situations, it will be the first time you seen each other and if you find saying ‘no thanks’ awkward, you could find yourself in tricky situations.
I would rather reject someone on a social because there are no expectations beforehand. If I meet someone one on one, I presume they are a horny person like myself and will be a little bit disappointed. I don't like that sort of rejection. I feel like I am saying they are inadequate as a person for me. And I don't want to say that to anyone. We are all beautiful in our own way just my social conditioning has made a certain type of woman attractive to me.
How about you my dear?"I meet for a social and if I do t want to have sex with them I tell them in a polite and adult way. What you’re saying is that because you find rejection difficult, you will have sex with anybody. | |||
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" A social meet first would sort that out. Very rarely play on first meet because of that reason
But then you have to have the awkward moment rejecting them if you're not interested. Always feel harsh
Would you rather reject them on a social or on a meet where sex is the expectation? In both of those situations, it will be the first time you seen each other and if you find saying ‘no thanks’ awkward, you could find yourself in tricky situations.
I would rather reject someone on a social because there are no expectations beforehand. If I meet someone one on one, I presume they are a horny person like myself and will be a little bit disappointed. I don't like that sort of rejection. I feel like I am saying they are inadequate as a person for me. And I don't want to say that to anyone. We are all beautiful in our own way just my social conditioning has made a certain type of woman attractive to me.
How about you my dear?
I meet for a social and if I do t want to have sex with them I tell them in a polite and adult way.
What you’re saying is that because you find rejection difficult, you will have sex with anybody. "There's quite a tone in the way you write. With you being an adult and me being a slag.... I'm guessing this is why rejecting others is a somewhat cathartic experience for you. I don't believe that was what I said if you read it back. I just don't like rejecting people because in general I don't like hurting others feelings. I think it's a much softer blow to allow each party to look at each other in full before meeting. You could still meet and not get along but at least you wouldn't be decieving each other beforehand | |||
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"Men only tend to take close ups of their cock, or an eye if they have teeny cocks. I've seen some cocks that look smaller in photos than in reality; they have been the shockers. I’m sorry you had to go through that " I took it on the chin Narnaman. | |||
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"To be fair no one will post an unflattering picture. I'm like chandler from friends, literally just pull some odd face soon as a camera points my way! " I have. I had a photo of my bloated, stretch-marked stomach up. | |||
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