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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? " Comparing yourself to others shows low self esteem and it's a losing battle because the comparison you make is worthless unless you know every single,detail of the other persons life. If people focused on being the best they can be then they won't go far wrong | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? Comparing yourself to others shows low self esteem and it's a losing battle because the comparison you make is worthless unless you know every single,detail of the other persons life. If people focused on being the best they can be then they won't go far wrong" Comparison might be from a place of feeling better than others, it can also be indicative of arrogance. | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? Comparing yourself to others shows low self esteem and it's a losing battle because the comparison you make is worthless unless you know every single,detail of the other persons life. If people focused on being the best they can be then they won't go far wrong Comparison might be from a place of feeling better than others, it can also be indicative of arrogance." I’ve seen this and also using the comparison to belittle others not a nice trait | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? Comparing yourself to others shows low self esteem and it's a losing battle because the comparison you make is worthless unless you know every single,detail of the other persons life. If people focused on being the best they can be then they won't go far wrong Comparison might be from a place of feeling better than others, it can also be indicative of arrogance." Arrogance is subjective though and I'd argue there's actually no such thing. I've found people with little confidence tend to call people with a lot of confidence arrogant in order to justify to their low worth to themselves I've been called,arrogant and I'm 100% not. I am very confident and say what I think and can be strong in my views which some see as arrogant but I'm not dogmatic and neither would I ever see myself as better than others however some people think I do | |||
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"I’ve seen this and also using the comparison to belittle others not a nice trait "Agreed, although if you need a quick check to see if someone’s a bit of a knob, it’s quite useful. It’s a horrible mix of arrogance and bullying | |||
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Comparing myself to other people's controlled online content wasn't doing me any favours.
I don't have TV or read newspapers / trash mags either which probably helps me stay in ignorant bliss a little bit more.
I'm not sure if it's natural or not to compare yourself to others - but it doesn't feel good  | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? Comparing yourself to others shows low self esteem and it's a losing battle because the comparison you make is worthless unless you know every single,detail of the other persons life. If people focused on being the best they can be then they won't go far wrong Comparison might be from a place of feeling better than others, it can also be indicative of arrogance. Arrogance is subjective though and I'd argue there's actually no such thing. I've found people with little confidence tend to call people with a lot of confidence arrogant in order to justify to their low worth to themselves I've been called,arrogant and I'm 100% not. I am very confident and say what I think and can be strong in my views which some see as arrogant but I'm not dogmatic and neither would I ever see myself as better than others however some people think I do" I agree with this as I have had the same problem. Also if you have standards on here some people interpret that as arrogance | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? Comparing yourself to others shows low self esteem and it's a losing battle because the comparison you make is worthless unless you know every single,detail of the other persons life. If people focused on being the best they can be then they won't go far wrong Comparison might be from a place of feeling better than others, it can also be indicative of arrogance. Arrogance is subjective though and I'd argue there's actually no such thing. I've found people with little confidence tend to call people with a lot of confidence arrogant in order to justify to their low worth to themselves I've been called,arrogant and I'm 100% not. I am very confident and say what I think and can be strong in my views which some see as arrogant but I'm not dogmatic and neither would I ever see myself as better than others however some people think I do" There is a VERY thin line between confidence and arrogance and the "ultra confident" people inevitably cross it, but never, ever see it  | |||
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"High self confidence and arrogance are totally separate things I have found people who are arrogant usually have quite low self confidence " Correct. They are different but a lot of people confuse them | |||
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"High self confidence and arrogance are totally separate things I have found people who are arrogant usually have quite low self confidence " I’ve seen this too, it can be a form of insecurity | |||
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"I can’t see the point, they aren’t me and I’m not them "I think the general idea is that an element of what is termed ‘upwards comparison’ is deemed positive as inspiration or a motivator. And an element of ‘downward comparison’ can increase compassion - again they can be taken to the negative extremes which we more likely instinctively think of. | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? Comparing yourself to others shows low self esteem and it's a losing battle because the comparison you make is worthless unless you know every single,detail of the other persons life. If people focused on being the best they can be then they won't go far wrong Comparison might be from a place of feeling better than others, it can also be indicative of arrogance. Arrogance is subjective though and I'd argue there's actually no such thing. I've found people with little confidence tend to call people with a lot of confidence arrogant in order to justify to their low worth to themselves I've been called,arrogant and I'm 100% not. I am very confident and say what I think and can be strong in my views which some see as arrogant but I'm not dogmatic and neither would I ever see myself as better than others however some people think I do There is a VERY thin line between confidence and arrogance and the "ultra confident" people inevitably cross it, but never, ever see it "Disagree. I think it's a matter of perception (usually from those with low self-esteem who confuse confidence with arrogance, because of a lack of confidence themselves) | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? Comparing yourself to others shows low self esteem and it's a losing battle because the comparison you make is worthless unless you know every single,detail of the other persons life. If people focused on being the best they can be then they won't go far wrong Comparison might be from a place of feeling better than others, it can also be indicative of arrogance. Arrogance is subjective though and I'd argue there's actually no such thing. I've found people with little confidence tend to call people with a lot of confidence arrogant in order to justify to their low worth to themselves I've been called,arrogant and I'm 100% not. I am very confident and say what I think and can be strong in my views which some see as arrogant but I'm not dogmatic and neither would I ever see myself as better than others however some people think I do" Not specifically talking about you, but also what one thinks personally about whether one is arrogant or not doesn’t negate validity in someone else thinking one is. Both paradigms are acceptable. | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? " That post just gave me a Sapio-rection It’s very true that we have been taught by culture to compare. “My baby brother gets more attention than me” to “I got better marks in my exams than others” to “they have a better/worse body” Comparison is natural. It’s the way we deal with the emotions and feelings those comparisons stir up, that can be damaging. | |||
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"High self confidence and arrogance are totally separate things I have found people who are arrogant usually have quite low self confidence " I would agree with that. | |||
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"I can’t see the point, they aren’t me and I’m not them
I think the general idea is that an element of what is termed ‘upwards comparison’ is deemed positive as inspiration or a motivator. And an element of ‘downward comparison’ can increase compassion - again they can be taken to the negative extremes which we more likely instinctively think of. "Hmmmmm I see examples of behaviour that I don’t want to exhibit and some that I do. Maybe that’s a similar thing? I’m also quick to tell someone if I see something they’ve done as motivational or inspirational. This is actually quite interesting because I’ve never linked what I do with your OP | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? Comparing yourself to others shows low self esteem and it's a losing battle because the comparison you make is worthless unless you know every single,detail of the other persons life. If people focused on being the best they can be then they won't go far wrong Comparison might be from a place of feeling better than others, it can also be indicative of arrogance. Arrogance is subjective though and I'd argue there's actually no such thing. I've found people with little confidence tend to call people with a lot of confidence arrogant in order to justify to their low worth to themselves I've been called,arrogant and I'm 100% not. I am very confident and say what I think and can be strong in my views which some see as arrogant but I'm not dogmatic and neither would I ever see myself as better than others however some people think I do There is a VERY thin line between confidence and arrogance and the "ultra confident" people inevitably cross it, but never, ever see it "Take your point apart from the "line"... There isn't a demarcation line you cross to become arrogant. As I said, some see me as arrogant but most don't whereas I might view someone else as arrogant when you wouldn't. It's very subjective and I think your making a generalisation about people never ever seeing it. I've mentioned I'm aware I can be seen as arrogant and I think most people who treadmthat line are also aware of it. I think the big difference is not being concerned about how people view you | |||
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"I can’t see the point, they aren’t me and I’m not them
I think the general idea is that an element of what is termed ‘upwards comparison’ is deemed positive as inspiration or a motivator. And an element of ‘downward comparison’ can increase compassion - again they can be taken to the negative extremes which we more likely instinctively think of.
Hmmmmm I see examples of behaviour that I don’t want to exhibit and some that I do. Maybe that’s a similar thing? I’m also quick to tell someone if I see something they’ve done as motivational or inspirational. This is actually quite interesting because I’ve never linked what I do with your OP " | |||
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"High self confidence and arrogance are totally separate things I have found people who are arrogant usually have quite low self confidence I would agree with that. " You see I would disagree about perceived arrogant people having low self confidence I think that's a blanket people with low self confidence use to justify their own lack of confidence to themselves | |||
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"High self confidence and arrogance are totally separate things I have found people who are arrogant usually have quite low self confidence I would agree with that. You see I would disagree about perceived arrogant people having low self confidence I think that's a blanket people with low self confidence use to justify their own lack of confidence to themselves "I'd have to disagree; I think arrogance comes from high self-esteem. False bravado and trying to assert their power constantly, seems more like low self-esteem. | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? Comparing yourself to others shows low self esteem and it's a losing battle because the comparison you make is worthless unless you know every single,detail of the other persons life. If people focused on being the best they can be then they won't go far wrong Comparison might be from a place of feeling better than others, it can also be indicative of arrogance. Arrogance is subjective though and I'd argue there's actually no such thing. I've found people with little confidence tend to call people with a lot of confidence arrogant in order to justify to their low worth to themselves I've been called,arrogant and I'm 100% not. I am very confident and say what I think and can be strong in my views which some see as arrogant but I'm not dogmatic and neither would I ever see myself as better than others however some people think I do There is a VERY thin line between confidence and arrogance and the "ultra confident" people inevitably cross it, but never, ever see it
Disagree. I think it's a matter of perception (usually from those with low self-esteem who confuse confidence with arrogance, because of a lack of confidence themselves) "Not at all. I am confident in myself but I know a lot of total wankers on and off here who frequently cross the arrogance line... | |||
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"High self confidence and arrogance are totally separate things I have found people who are arrogant usually have quite low self confidence I would agree with that. You see I would disagree about perceived arrogant people having low self confidence I think that's a blanket people with low self confidence use to justify their own lack of confidence to themselves "Which is what the post is saying, that if someone is truly confident and not arrogant that it is not a case of low self esteem. However, one could also argue that a perceived arrogant person could be protesting their confidence by projecting the issue as being low self esteem of the person calling them arrogant rather than it being a cover up for their own lack of self esteem regardless of whether the person calling them arrogant has low self esteem themselves or is actually confident. | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? Comparing yourself to others shows low self esteem and it's a losing battle because the comparison you make is worthless unless you know every single,detail of the other persons life. If people focused on being the best they can be then they won't go far wrong Comparison might be from a place of feeling better than others, it can also be indicative of arrogance. Arrogance is subjective though and I'd argue there's actually no such thing. I've found people with little confidence tend to call people with a lot of confidence arrogant in order to justify to their low worth to themselves I've been called,arrogant and I'm 100% not. I am very confident and say what I think and can be strong in my views which some see as arrogant but I'm not dogmatic and neither would I ever see myself as better than others however some people think I do There is a VERY thin line between confidence and arrogance and the "ultra confident" people inevitably cross it, but never, ever see it
Disagree. I think it's a matter of perception (usually from those with low self-esteem who confuse confidence with arrogance, because of a lack of confidence themselves)
Not at all. I am confident in myself but I know a lot of total wankers on and off here who frequently cross the arrogance line... ". Where is this arrogance line? It doesn't exist so you may perceive someone as arrogant but it doesn't mean they are | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? Comparing yourself to others shows low self esteem and it's a losing battle because the comparison you make is worthless unless you know every single,detail of the other persons life. If people focused on being the best they can be then they won't go far wrong Comparison might be from a place of feeling better than others, it can also be indicative of arrogance. Arrogance is subjective though and I'd argue there's actually no such thing. I've found people with little confidence tend to call people with a lot of confidence arrogant in order to justify to their low worth to themselves I've been called,arrogant and I'm 100% not. I am very confident and say what I think and can be strong in my views which some see as arrogant but I'm not dogmatic and neither would I ever see myself as better than others however some people think I do There is a VERY thin line between confidence and arrogance and the "ultra confident" people inevitably cross it, but never, ever see it
Disagree. I think it's a matter of perception (usually from those with low self-esteem who confuse confidence with arrogance, because of a lack of confidence themselves)
Not at all. I am confident in myself but I know a lot of total wankers on and off here who frequently cross the arrogance line... .
Where is this arrogance line?
It doesn't exist so you may perceive someone as arrogant but it doesn't mean they are"Exactly as I said - it's all a matter of perception. Like attraction/beauty; but that's a whole other story! | |||
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"I must compare myself to others at times but I’m not very aware of it. I do compare me ‘now’ to me ‘then’ a lot. That can be both a negative and positive thing. Negative if you dwell on what was, but positive because you can see how far you’ve come. This might not be quite what your post is aimed at but I feel self comparison is more of an influence on me. " That’s exactly the point of the post. That the latter (temporal comparison) is less fraught. | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? Comparing yourself to others shows low self esteem and it's a losing battle because the comparison you make is worthless unless you know every single,detail of the other persons life. If people focused on being the best they can be then they won't go far wrong Comparison might be from a place of feeling better than others, it can also be indicative of arrogance. Arrogance is subjective though and I'd argue there's actually no such thing. I've found people with little confidence tend to call people with a lot of confidence arrogant in order to justify to their low worth to themselves I've been called,arrogant and I'm 100% not. I am very confident and say what I think and can be strong in my views which some see as arrogant but I'm not dogmatic and neither would I ever see myself as better than others however some people think I do There is a VERY thin line between confidence and arrogance and the "ultra confident" people inevitably cross it, but never, ever see it
Disagree. I think it's a matter of perception (usually from those with low self-esteem who confuse confidence with arrogance, because of a lack of confidence themselves)
Not at all. I am confident in myself but I know a lot of total wankers on and off here who frequently cross the arrogance line... .
Where is this arrogance line?
It doesn't exist so you may perceive someone as arrogant but it doesn't mean they are"On here, we can only go by the tone of the post, and not body language or actions. | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? Comparing yourself to others shows low self esteem and it's a losing battle because the comparison you make is worthless unless you know every single,detail of the other persons life. If people focused on being the best they can be then they won't go far wrong Comparison might be from a place of feeling better than others, it can also be indicative of arrogance. Arrogance is subjective though and I'd argue there's actually no such thing. I've found people with little confidence tend to call people with a lot of confidence arrogant in order to justify to their low worth to themselves I've been called,arrogant and I'm 100% not. I am very confident and say what I think and can be strong in my views which some see as arrogant but I'm not dogmatic and neither would I ever see myself as better than others however some people think I do There is a VERY thin line between confidence and arrogance and the "ultra confident" people inevitably cross it, but never, ever see it
Disagree. I think it's a matter of perception (usually from those with low self-esteem who confuse confidence with arrogance, because of a lack of confidence themselves)
Not at all. I am confident in myself but I know a lot of total wankers on and off here who frequently cross the arrogance line... .
Where is this arrogance line?
It doesn't exist so you may perceive someone as arrogant but it doesn't mean they are
On here, we can only go by the tone of the post, and not body language or actions. "And tone is still ascribed from our viewpoint. I do think there’s merit in not dismissing someone who perceives you differently to your intent out of hand though, in the it’s their self esteem or whatever. Unless you’re simply uninterested in interacting with them of course. But in day to day life, when there’s dissonance between how people perceive you and how you perceive yourself there’s something to look at and learn from. Be it accusations of arrogance or lack of confidence. | |||
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"I refuse to compare myself to others as we all have differend needs and free time i do ok with the time i have so cant complain " What about the positive aspects of comparison (referenced above) in terms of compassion building and motivating oneself? Do you refuse to engage with these? | |||
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"For every up there is a down rather than compare do what makes you happy and love what you do or who you are. Although in a hierarchy and capitalist someone is always going to be on top and I aim for the top." For every up, there is a down. Is there? | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? " I never compare myself to others.. And neither should my fiancee... Only kidding. About the comparison part that is.... But on serious note: I never compare myself to others. I don't see the point. Mainly because I struggle with the concept of success. Like what qualifies as you being successful? A nice car? A good job? Seeing the world? Having kids? So with this in mind I guess I try and look objectively at each person's life and empathise rather than compare. I respect and admire others for lots of things that I am not, but that would never make me draw comparisons. Probably good time to say I am pretty much Buddhist though so probably influences my opinion a lot | |||
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"“Can we wean ourselves from social comparison? It’s easier said than done. Some psychologists, most notably Leon Festinger, believe that our desire to compare ourselves to others is a drive—one almost as powerful as thirst or hunger. While comparisons can be informative, they’re almost always discouraging, because someone’s always going to end up on the bottom. A better way to figure out "How am I doing?” might be to compare ourselves today to where we were in the past, or to where we want to be in the future. This process, called temporal comparison, is less well-known than Festinger’s social comparison theory, but there are good reasons why we should rely on temporal rather than social comparisons when taking stock of our lives.” Do you compare yourself to others? Do you manage to keep it in the realm of a healthy, inspiring and motivating driver, or does it bring you down and stop you doing things? Or do you compare and find everyone else lacking? I never compare myself to others.. And neither should my fiancee... Only kidding. About the comparison part that is.... But on serious note: I never compare myself to others. I don't see the point. Mainly because I struggle with the concept of success. Like what qualifies as you being successful? A nice car? A good job? Seeing the world? Having kids? So with this in mind I guess I try and look objectively at each person's life and empathise rather than compare. I respect and admire others for lots of things that I am not, but that would never make me draw comparisons. Probably good time to say I am pretty much Buddhist though so probably influences my opinion a lot" That sounds to be a very heathy and gentle approach to life. Thank you, fiancé, you keep me balanced. | |||
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"I read a thing " comparison is the thief of joy" I thought that was pretty spot on x " Said the same earlier but that quote sums it up perfectly | |||
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"I read a thing " comparison is the thief of joy" I thought that was pretty spot on x Said the same earlier but that quote sums it up perfectly " Oh sorry I didn't read all the contributions, there's some long ass posts x | |||
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