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"She could open a window saying she has a desperate need to moon people with her arse hanging out the window just let it go " Would he not see the shit sliding down the window? | |||
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"She could open a window saying she has a desperate need to moon people with her arse hanging out the window just let it go Would he not see the shit sliding down the window? " Landing on the window sill | |||
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"A friend of mine had just met a bloke and he took her to some fancy hotel at Whitby that cost a fortune for her bday. The toilet was literally in the corner of the room hidden by one of those little wooden screens people used to get dressed behind. I’m with F&B. I’d have died of a bowel obstruction before going to that! " Omg, that's awful. An expensive hotel having a toilet like that | |||
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"She could open a window saying she has a desperate need to moon people with her arse hanging out the window just let it go Would he not see the shit sliding down the window? Landing on the window sill" Those poor birds that were just sat there... | |||
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"Just say i need a shit i would " But ladies don't shit, we have fairy dust | |||
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"She could open a window saying she has a desperate need to moon people with her arse hanging out the window just let it go Would he not see the shit sliding down the window? Landing on the window sill Those poor birds that were just sat there..." Locked windows. You can't even open it and shoo it away onto the ground below. It's just going to sit there like when your cats been naughty and wants to come back in | |||
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"She could open a window saying she has a desperate need to moon people with her arse hanging out the window just let it go Would he not see the shit sliding down the window? Landing on the window sill Those poor birds that were just sat there..." The poor people in the room below who just opened their window to let some fresh air in | |||
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"She could open a window saying she has a desperate need to moon people with her arse hanging out the window just let it go Would he not see the shit sliding down the window? " Not unless hes the room below Altho could u imagine there faces thinking how big that seagul must be | |||
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"OP. Can you ask her what she had for dinner and was she on the prosecco or Guiness? " Just laughed so loud I shocked the dog (he didn’t fart tho) | |||
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"OP. Can you ask her what she had for dinner and was she on the prosecco or Guiness? Just laughed so loud I shocked the dog (he didn’t fart tho)" But he did turn into a sheep tho | |||
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"OP. Can you ask her what she had for dinner and was she on the prosecco or Guiness? Just laughed so loud I shocked the dog (he didn’t fart tho) But he did turn into a sheep tho " He’s already a sheep lol | |||
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"She could open a window saying she has a desperate need to moon people with her arse hanging out the window just let it go Would he not see the shit sliding down the window? Landing on the window sill Those poor birds that were just sat there... The poor people in the room below who just opened their window to let some fresh air in " Especially if it's one that opens on a horizontal axis and outwards so it lands and slides down into their room!! | |||
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"She could open a window saying she has a desperate need to moon people with her arse hanging out the window just let it go Would he not see the shit sliding down the window? Landing on the window sill Those poor birds that were just sat there... The poor people in the room below who just opened their window to let some fresh air in Especially if it's one that opens on a horizontal axis and outwards so it lands and slides down into their room!! " And they’re sat under the window | |||
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"My mate has text all agitated. She needs to poop. She’s... on a first date in a hotel room With a tiny en-suite. What do we suggest I reply? " do it on his/her chest | |||
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"She could open a window saying she has a desperate need to moon people with her arse hanging out the window just let it go Would he not see the shit sliding down the window? Landing on the window sill Those poor birds that were just sat there... The poor people in the room below who just opened their window to let some fresh air in Especially if it's one that opens on a horizontal axis and outwards so it lands and slides down into their room!! And they’re sat under the window" Best hupe the curtains are long and bonus is if hes a prick to her she could always put it in his she before she left | |||
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"My mate has text all agitated. She needs to poop. She’s... on a first date in a hotel room With a tiny en-suite. What do we suggest I reply? " Turn the bath taps on. Both of them. Full blast. Then let it rip. HTH | |||
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"I would have to run off down to reception and hope there was more than a bucket in a cupboard. Whats the betting he'd be pooing up there whilst he had the chance too " haha. He's probably texting his mates 'lads, what do I do etc' | |||
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"I would have to run off down to reception and hope there was more than a bucket in a cupboard. Whats the betting he'd be pooing up there whilst he had the chance too haha. He's probably texting his mates 'lads, what do I do etc' " Imagine if she announced it and he was like ‘oh thank god. Me too.... go on we will do it together’ | |||
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"I would have to run off down to reception and hope there was more than a bucket in a cupboard. Whats the betting he'd be pooing up there whilst he had the chance too haha. He's probably texting his mates 'lads, what do I do etc' Imagine if she announced it and he was like ‘oh thank god. Me too.... go on we will do it together’ " What if he's the food critic type. She gets him to go down for the shop for a paper. In she goes and does Megashit 6000, she's spraying the lynx in utter panic. He walks back in, sniffs the air, wafts towards his nose and announces 'hmmmm I'm getting a buzz or electric through my senses and a rush of hollihocks up my nose'. He might just say 'fucking hell someone died in there' and carry on as normal | |||
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"My mate has text all agitated. She needs to poop. She’s... on a first date in a hotel room With a tiny en-suite. What do we suggest I reply? " My mate? Really? Lol | |||
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"My mate has text all agitated. She needs to poop. She’s... on a first date in a hotel room With a tiny en-suite. What do we suggest I reply? My mate? Really? Lol" Haha | |||
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"Omg give her ideas to go to the reception for something. Not a chance in hell I would shit in there. My pal done a shit at a party and it wouldn't flush and she had to throw it out the window. That traumatised me for the rest of my life x" Nothing worse than an obstinate floater | |||
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"I would have to run off down to reception and hope there was more than a bucket in a cupboard. Whats the betting he'd be pooing up there whilst he had the chance too haha. He's probably texting his mates 'lads, what do I do etc' Imagine if she announced it and he was like ‘oh thank god. Me too.... go on we will do it together’ " Townhouse club have just refitted their ladies loo with a two seater You literally could do it together there!! | |||
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"I was on a second meet and the guy had done a candlelight meal. All very romantic. He said something funny and I laughed so hard I farted. I was naked except for wrist cuffs (yeah that type of meet ) and the seat wasn’t a fabric that absorbed it so it just rattled. I’m struggling to type this for laughing! His face was which just caused me to laugh harder and harder and of course fart louder and rattle more. Luckily I didn’t follow through. I love toilet humour. A fart is always guaranteed to make me laugh. And fart again because I’m laughing so much. Catch 22 " I don't know what you mean. I'd never ever laugh at something like that. Bwahahahahaaaa fuck yes!!! I was only talking last night about laughing so much your bum laughs too! | |||
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"I was on a second meet and the guy had done a candlelight meal. All very romantic. He said something funny and I laughed so hard I farted. I was naked except for wrist cuffs (yeah that type of meet ) and the seat wasn’t a fabric that absorbed it so it just rattled. I’m struggling to type this for laughing! His face was which just caused me to laugh harder and harder and of course fart louder and rattle more. Luckily I didn’t follow through. I love toilet humour. A fart is always guaranteed to make me laugh. And fart again because I’m laughing so much. Catch 22 I don't know what you mean. I'd never ever laugh at something like that. Bwahahahahaaaa fuck yes!!! I was only talking last night about laughing so much your bum laughs too! " So funny my bum joined in | |||
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"I was on a second meet and the guy had done a candlelight meal. All very romantic. He said something funny and I laughed so hard I farted. I was naked except for wrist cuffs (yeah that type of meet ) and the seat wasn’t a fabric that absorbed it so it just rattled. I’m struggling to type this for laughing! His face was which just caused me to laugh harder and harder and of course fart louder and rattle more. Luckily I didn’t follow through. I love toilet humour. A fart is always guaranteed to make me laugh. And fart again because I’m laughing so much. Catch 22 " LOOOL ! Oh wow.. that's so funny ! I can't honestly say I wouldn't have laughed at his shocked face either. The question is.. what happened next ? | |||
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"I was on a second meet and the guy had done a candlelight meal. All very romantic. He said something funny and I laughed so hard I farted. I was naked except for wrist cuffs (yeah that type of meet ) and the seat wasn’t a fabric that absorbed it so it just rattled. I’m struggling to type this for laughing! His face was which just caused me to laugh harder and harder and of course fart louder and rattle more. Luckily I didn’t follow through. I love toilet humour. A fart is always guaranteed to make me laugh. And fart again because I’m laughing so much. Catch 22 LOOOL ! Oh wow.. that's so funny ! I can't honestly say I wouldn't have laughed at his shocked face either. The question is.. what happened next ?" He produced a trombone and they played the eastenders theme tune | |||
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"I was on a second meet and the guy had done a candlelight meal. All very romantic. He said something funny and I laughed so hard I farted. I was naked except for wrist cuffs (yeah that type of meet ) and the seat wasn’t a fabric that absorbed it so it just rattled. I’m struggling to type this for laughing! His face was which just caused me to laugh harder and harder and of course fart louder and rattle more. Luckily I didn’t follow through. I love toilet humour. A fart is always guaranteed to make me laugh. And fart again because I’m laughing so much. Catch 22 LOOOL ! Oh wow.. that's so funny ! I can't honestly say I wouldn't have laughed at his shocked face either. The question is.. what happened next ? He produced a trombone and they played the eastenders theme tune " Pmsl!!! Well I’m seeing him again so my naughty noisy botty didn’t put him off. Must try harder | |||
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"If it's just a fart I let that fucker rip. If it's a shit. Ohhh man I been there. I went for a "shower" Made sure I had my music blasting and the water running before I sat to drop the log. Here's the important bit. The shower water while pooping needs to be cold. Warm or hot water tends to cook the smell and make it 100x worse, cold water seems to clean the air! Another important bit, once you've got away with it and feeling quite smug about him not knowing.... CHECK THE PAN FOR SKIDS! I learned the hard way. " Hahahahaha. | |||
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"I was on a second meet and the guy had done a candlelight meal. All very romantic. He said something funny and I laughed so hard I farted. I was naked except for wrist cuffs (yeah that type of meet ) and the seat wasn’t a fabric that absorbed it so it just rattled. I’m struggling to type this for laughing! His face was which just caused me to laugh harder and harder and of course fart louder and rattle more. Luckily I didn’t follow through. I love toilet humour. A fart is always guaranteed to make me laugh. And fart again because I’m laughing so much. Catch 22 " That made me laugh so much, kinda reminded me of Paris! | |||
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"If it's just a fart I let that fucker rip. If it's a shit. Ohhh man I been there. I went for a "shower" Made sure I had my music blasting and the water running before I sat to drop the log. Here's the important bit. The shower water while pooping needs to be cold. Warm or hot water tends to cook the smell and make it 100x worse, cold water seems to clean the air! Another important bit, once you've got away with it and feeling quite smug about him not knowing.... CHECK THE PAN FOR SKIDS! I learned the hard way. " Paper down first, helps prevent splash back noises and skid marks | |||
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"I was on a second meet and the guy had done a candlelight meal. All very romantic. He said something funny and I laughed so hard I farted. I was naked except for wrist cuffs (yeah that type of meet ) and the seat wasn’t a fabric that absorbed it so it just rattled. I’m struggling to type this for laughing! His face was which just caused me to laugh harder and harder and of course fart louder and rattle more. Luckily I didn’t follow through. I love toilet humour. A fart is always guaranteed to make me laugh. And fart again because I’m laughing so much. Catch 22 That made me laugh so much, kinda reminded me of Paris! " An image of you on your knees picking up glass hiccuping after dancing with the poor reception man in the corridor then denying it was you the next day springs to mind | |||
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"I was on a second meet and the guy had done a candlelight meal. All very romantic. He said something funny and I laughed so hard I farted. I was naked except for wrist cuffs (yeah that type of meet ) and the seat wasn’t a fabric that absorbed it so it just rattled. I’m struggling to type this for laughing! His face was which just caused me to laugh harder and harder and of course fart louder and rattle more. Luckily I didn’t follow through. I love toilet humour. A fart is always guaranteed to make me laugh. And fart again because I’m laughing so much. Catch 22 That made me laugh so much, kinda reminded me of Paris! An image of you on your knees picking up glass hiccuping after dancing with the poor reception man in the corridor then denying it was you the next day springs to mind " Ahh yes that poor reception man! At least I was hangover free! Good job really as I spent most of the day upside down! | |||
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"My mate has text all agitated. She needs to poop. She’s... on a first date in a hotel room With a tiny en-suite. What do we suggest I reply? " I'd suggest up the bum is off the menu...... Although that might help poke it back up a bit further and relieve the pressure. Im torn on this one....... | |||
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"The only option is for her to say she's going to have a quick bath or shower, poop whilst the shower is running or the tap to mask the noise. Have an actual shower or bath to justify the time spent in the toilet and will give enough time for any possible smell to go. " | |||
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