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Relationships - What do men actually want?

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By *iSTARess OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/07/18 21:13:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

honesty = good

confidence = good

size = good

unconventional = good

mysterious, passive, flowery = BAD.

Me thinks the men who told you that are fannies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "
exactly what you have said....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love confident and independant woman, I am really attracted by those type of women.

Don't mind fucking them or dating them.

But some women give me the fear as they look like they hate men so I wouldn't even fuck them with Tame's dick.

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By *r. Pepper...Man
over a year ago

liverpool

Anal

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By *ast_And_CuriousMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

Speaking for myself I don't want a relationship. Can't speak for other men. Everyone's different and different people like different things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

Firstly everyone is different and that goes for both men & women.

Secondly, the right guy just hasn't turned up yet. When he does you'll know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there are many guys who want a trophy wife, but then cheat as they desire the opposite really

Vanity

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By *heDesiCandiTV/TS
over a year ago

Pinner


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

You are single because you chose not to accept mediocrity. Nothing wrong with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Speaking for myself I don't want a relationship. Can't speak for other men. Everyone's different and different people like different things. "

Not sure how this relates to the OP?

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By *r. Pepper...Man
over a year ago

liverpool


"I think there are many guys who want a trophy wife, but then cheat as they desire the opposite really

Vanity "

This is a really good point actually

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By *r.gambinoMan
over a year ago

East Midlands

Can’t speak for all men but me personally

Settling down isn’t something I want to be involved in. For me it’s a journey sharing fun times together and being completely open and loyal to your own personality. Explore eachover and the world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good in bed

Doesn't flirt with every other man

Good sex drive

Not high maintenance

Broad sense of humour

Kind and good hearted

Easy going

And last but most importantly filthy rich and dumb as fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

What about cute flowery psssive girls who like to swing and enjoy an unconventional lifestyle ?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

OP, I've been told similar things over the last 30 years. I'm intimidatingly independent and, therefore, scary. Apparently.

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By *awtyjeniWoman
over a year ago

Bromley

Exactly this !!!!

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By *igT 007Man
over a year ago

stevenage


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

I can't talk for any1 else but I would settle down with some1 like but cute flowery girls don't do anything for me

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

Thankfully, no they don't.

Cal certainly wouldn't have married me, if that was the kind of woman he wanted.

Nita

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

I think some men do. I don't want a man like that and a man like that doesn't want me.

It's difficult to say what men want from a relationship because like us they're all different and due to the nature of this site nearly all the answers you're going get here will be saying that independent, strong and open women are what they want. I do think many men perpetuate the myth of mysterious femininity simply because they can't be bothered to try and understand the woman in their life or what motivates her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m very open about the way I am and M wouldn’t have me any other way. He prefers it (due to many reasons. Some good some bad) and if I’m stuck in a bad way, he helps me out. Plus, I’ve slept with a lot of men (not bragging because it’s not a good thing in my eyes. Bad time in my life) and I would have rather him know about it than he come on here and find out about it and get very upset.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless you absolutely have to, I think you're best off not getting too heavy on a first date. One date I went on laid some heavy shit on me on the first date. Without knowing the person or having any emotional engagement yet it was really easy to walk away. I'm simply not in a good enough place in my life to be able to deal with what that stranger was asking of me. Had she not been a stranger... had I got to know her a little more and began to feel something for her... would that have made my choice more difficult? Definitely. But in her case it was such a big issue that I'm glad she warned me off. But one wonders what kind of Saint she's looking for who would knowingly get involved with a stranger in such a position.

In your case op your "baggage" doesn't seem so vital and necessary to lead with. So maybe leave it until a second or third date. Dunno Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

I’ve often thought this, I feel like men are intimidated by my confidence and that I work in a male dominated profession and can talk man stuff (not the offside rule!) there is a lot of truth in the Madonna whore complex it’s embedded in societal beliefs but not all men are the same and for every man turned off there’s another that will be turned on by it, it’s gotta happen sooner or later ! ( I keep telling myself this)

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I believe that what men want is broadly the same as what women want. They want what is right for them. Ultimately we are all different any what is right for one isn't the same as for the next bloke.

Also... sometimes you don't even know what you want until they come along and blow your mind.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unless you absolutely have to, I think you're best off not getting too heavy on a first date. One date I went on laid some heavy shit on me on the first date. Without knowing the person or having any emotional engagement yet it was really easy to walk away. I'm simply not in a good enough place in my life to be able to deal with what that stranger was asking of me. Had she not been a stranger... had I got to know her a little more and began to feel something for her... would that have made my choice more difficult? Definitely. But in her case it was such a big issue that I'm glad she warned me off. But one wonders what kind of Saint she's looking for who would knowingly get involved with a stranger in such a position.

In your case op your "baggage" doesn't seem so vital and necessary to lead with. So maybe leave it until a second or third date. Dunno Good luck "

But then some people quite like to jump straight into the guts of someone. See what you're dealing with straight away. I feel I can get a bit too carried away finding out about someone initially but I know I will really get on with someone who is pretty open from the get go. Perhaps not a first date mind, but within a few messages I may be squirming around in your brain a bit

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I believe that what men want is broadly the same as what women want. They want what is right for them. Ultimately we are all different any what is right for one isn't the same as for the next bloke.

Also... sometimes you don't even know what you want until they come along and blow your mind.

Cal"

I think you're right.

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"I love confident and independant woman, I am really attracted by those type of women.

Don't mind fucking them or dating them.

But some women give me the fear as they look like they hate men so I wouldn't even fuck them with Tame's dick. "

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds


"I believe that what men want is broadly the same as what women want. They want what is right for them. Ultimately we are all different any what is right for one isn't the same as for the next bloke.

Also... sometimes you don't even know what you want until they come along and blow your mind.

Cal"

Completely agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of guys who I've worked with used to tell me their ideal woman to settle down with is one who is sexy but classy.

Make of that as you will.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Men and women want the same thing but go arse backwards to get it.

Personally, I just want companionship and someone open and honest without dealing with her drama or anxiety issues

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

When you find the answer let me know

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By *iSTARess OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

Thanks guys, some interesting feedback.

By the way I'm not desperate for a relationship or on here for one (if it happened naturally, groovy) just disheartening to hear I'm not wanted for being who I am.

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By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds


"A lot of guys who I've worked with used to tell me their ideal woman to settle down with is one who is sexy but classy.

Make of that as you will."

These are such broad terms they're almost meaningless. I think there's a lot of guys just say what they think they're meant to say, rather than what they actually want

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thanks guys, some interesting feedback.

By the way I'm not desperate for a relationship or on here for one (if it happened naturally, groovy) just disheartening to hear I'm not wanted for being who I am.

"

But all of us aren't wanted for being who we are by loads of people and vice versa.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps not a first date mind, but within a few messages I may be squirming around in your brain a bit "

Much as I like the idea of you squirreling around in my head Autumn (Mmmm ), I can't imagine what you hope to find there. The only thing I need to know on a first date is whether I like her and whether I'd like to fuck her. I trust my instinct with people, and that chemistry is an important indicator of compatibility. Beyond that, though, I've recently learnt that there does need to be wider compatibility or else it's never going to go anywhere. The rest I'm happy to have emerge on its own time.

Anyway... back to you getting in my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks guys, some interesting feedback.

By the way I'm not desperate for a relationship or on here for one (if it happened naturally, groovy) just disheartening to hear I'm not wanted for being who I am.

But all of us aren't wanted for being who we are by loads of people and vice versa. "

Do you love me love the idea of me ?

That will be the sempiternal question.

Even if you may find someone who love you for who you are, do they really love you or love what you represent ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks guys, some interesting feedback.

By the way I'm not desperate for a relationship or on here for one (if it happened naturally, groovy) just disheartening to hear I'm not wanted for being who I am.

"

Always be true to yourself, anything else is utterly pointless x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My personal thoughts on what a man (me) wants is a woman who can hold her own but isnt a bitch, a woman with a sense of humour, a woman who has an air of mystery but lets me in, confident with self respect.

Oh an tits, gotta have a decent pair of tits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks guys, some interesting feedback.

By the way I'm not desperate for a relationship or on here for one (if it happened naturally, groovy) just disheartening to hear I'm not wanted for being who I am."

I think it's good to wise up to the fact that there are some sides to you that some people may need warming up to. I have the same issue and I suspect most single people who've lived a little have. But if you meet someone different, and you can tell they'll accept this side of you, and they do... well then that's a really good measure that they're probably "the one"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps not a first date mind, but within a few messages I may be squirming around in your brain a bit

Much as I like the idea of you squirreling around in my head Autumn (Mmmm ), I can't imagine what you hope to find there. The only thing I need to know on a first date is whether I like her and whether I'd like to fuck her. I trust my instinct with people, and that chemistry is an important indicator of compatibility. Beyond that, though, I've recently learnt that there does need to be wider compatibility or else it's never going to go anywhere. The rest I'm happy to have emerge on its own time.

Anyway... back to you getting in my head "

I look for a bit of intrigue and mystery, obviously what I find intriguing and mysterious will be different to others. And I suppose I can judge by their reaction whether they will be horrified or intrigued back . The compatibility aspect I suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks guys, some interesting feedback.

By the way I'm not desperate for a relationship or on here for one (if it happened naturally, groovy) just disheartening to hear I'm not wanted for being who I am.

But all of us aren't wanted for being who we are by loads of people and vice versa.

Do you love me love the idea of me ?

That will be the sempiternal question.

Even if you may find someone who love you for who you are, do they really love you or love what you represent ? "

As is the sempiternal question of whether you look up in a dictionary a word you've never encountered before that was used by F&B... or is he just dicking with you and trying to get you to do precisely that? Hmmm

In future just use "eternal" show off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks guys, some interesting feedback.

By the way I'm not desperate for a relationship or on here for one (if it happened naturally, groovy) just disheartening to hear I'm not wanted for being who I am.

But all of us aren't wanted for being who we are by loads of people and vice versa.

Do you love me love the idea of me ?

That will be the sempiternal question.

Even if you may find someone who love you for who you are, do they really love you or love what you represent ?

As is the sempiternal question of whether you look up in a dictionary a word you've never encountered before that was used by F&B... or is he just dicking with you and trying to get you to do precisely that? Hmmm

In future just use "eternal" show off "

It is a french word so it was easy for me to use it

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By *inkycouplespainCouple
over a year ago

Malaga Spain but sometimes Manchester and


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

Thats absolute bollox ( pardon my french) never heard such rubbish, you are most mens dream ( well not the vanilla ones but guess like me you dont want vanilla)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thanks guys, some interesting feedback.

By the way I'm not desperate for a relationship or on here for one (if it happened naturally, groovy) just disheartening to hear I'm not wanted for being who I am.

But all of us aren't wanted for being who we are by loads of people and vice versa.

Do you love me love the idea of me ?

That will be the sempiternal question.

Even if you may find someone who love you for who you are, do they really love you or love what you represent ? "

You soon find out if they love what you represent because they start trying to change you to fit their idea of you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks guys, some interesting feedback.

By the way I'm not desperate for a relationship or on here for one (if it happened naturally, groovy) just disheartening to hear I'm not wanted for being who I am.

But all of us aren't wanted for being who we are by loads of people and vice versa.

Do you love me love the idea of me ?

That will be the sempiternal question.

Even if you may find someone who love you for who you are, do they really love you or love what you represent ?

You soon find out if they love what you represent because they start trying to change you to fit their idea of you."

But if the idea they have of you is what they label as an 'ideal' partner.

Let's say that they hold a socialcultural understanding of what the 'ideal' partner looks like or do for a living and you fit that ideal, would they love you or love what you represent to them ?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

What he said ^^^ with ‘shaved pussy’ in there somewhere as well please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just think, at a certain age, it's just about finding someone who you've got good chemistry with, are compatible on quite a deep level, and is willing to make the effort to try and make a relationship work. If you've got that then any extra baggage is something you work through together and it's either a big deal or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good in bed

Doesn't flirt with every other man

Good sex drive

Not high maintenance

Broad sense of humour

Kind and good hearted

Easy going "

Fixed that and now it describes me perfectly!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

Bad question for here i reckon. In my opinion men want so many different things it's unreal! We are all individuals and want completely different things. I think on here men generally will sound like they only want sex but that's the nature of the beast. I always think it's good to try and find someone like yourself: maybe you need a guy that appreciates or is confident and honest like yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The forum will tell you what you want to hear because you are a woman. Ask yourself what real life men are telling you and the reaction you get in real life. There you will find your answers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don’t have to change OP. Somewhere, out there, there is someone who is waiting to find a woman just like you and who will accept you as you are and love the bones of you.

But it’s a bit like waiting for a train. They are a bit delayed at arriving at your platform.

They’ll turn up eventually, and if they don’t then you’re fabulous regardless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men will fuck just about any woman as long as she is vaguely attractive. Relationships, however, vary from man-to-man. Everyone wants something different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone will want you for who you are, eventually.

He'll be worth waiting for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was to date someone, I’d like them to be a better person than me. Someone I could aspire to be and also be inspired by them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been told i am intimidating.

I've been told i am too independent.

I am not needy or clingy.

I don't need a man.Yeah.

I want a man.Yes I do.

There is a difference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You don’t have to change OP. Somewhere, out there, there is someone who is waiting to find a woman just like you and who will accept you as you are and love the bones of you.

But it’s a bit like waiting for a train. They are a bit delayed at arriving at your platform.

They’ll turn up eventually, and if they don’t then you’re fabulous regardless."

Yeah100% agree with this. There's definitely someone for everyone. Maximise your chances of finds by them and get on as many dating apps as possible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Men will fuck just about any woman as long as she is vaguely attractive. Relationships, however, vary from man-to-man. Everyone wants something different."

This as well! Truth drop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Men will fuck just about any woman as long as she is vaguely attractive. Relationships, however, vary from man-to-man. Everyone wants something different.

This as well! Truth drop"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was to date someone, I’d like them to be a better person than me. Someone I could aspire to be and also be inspired by them."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was to date someone, I’d like them to be a better person than me. Someone I could aspire to be and also be inspired by them."

But why should they go out with you then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was to date someone, I’d like them to be a better person than me. Someone I could aspire to be and also be inspired by them.

But why should they go out with you then? "

Ha! Yeah you you better raise your game son

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By *oony-TunesCouple
over a year ago

Gravesend

Those 2 people are clearly dicks. Lucky escape ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was to date someone, I’d like them to be a better person than me. Someone I could aspire to be and also be inspired by them.

But why should they go out with you then?

Ha! Yeah you you better raise your game son"

That’s exactly why.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If I was to date someone, I’d like them to be a better person than me. Someone I could aspire to be and also be inspired by them."

I think that starts things off on an unequal footing. For me the healthiest of relationships are those in which both partners bring something the other can aspire to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was to date someone, I’d like them to be a better person than me. Someone I could aspire to be and also be inspired by them.

I think that starts things off on an unequal footing. For me the healthiest of relationships are those in which both partners bring something the other can aspire to."

Yeah I get that. It would probably be more in my head than anything. And it’d be nice for me to do the same for my partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was to date someone, I’d like them to be a better person than me. Someone I could aspire to be and also be inspired by them.

I think that starts things off on an unequal footing. For me the healthiest of relationships are those in which both partners bring something the other can aspire to.

Yeah I get that. It would probably be more in my head than anything. And it’d be nice for me to do the same for my partner "

Nah you're starting off by thinking you are inadequate. Not sure that's good for your psyche.

I have so much respect for my girlfriend because she is so smart, funny and sexy but I never think she's a better person than me. Mainly because she regularly reminds me that she thinks the same things about me. Took me a long time to find someone I like as much as myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In short men marry nice but shag nasty. Not talking about the couples who are on here swinging together.

I'm talking about the 100's of guys who claim to be single but have significant others who are unaware of what they get up to. I've spoken to lots of men who say their partners just don't fuck them anymore or fuck them the way they want so they look for it elsewhere. When asked why don't they just leave, it's usually things along the lines of the partner being perfect in every way except the sex part.

Guys will fuck from here but many wouldn't consider women on here as someone they would date, oh no too dirty, they want someone wholesome and pure but then moan when the sex is polite or non existent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was to date someone, I’d like them to be a better person than me. Someone I could aspire to be and also be inspired by them.

I think that starts things off on an unequal footing. For me the healthiest of relationships are those in which both partners bring something the other can aspire to.

Yeah I get that. It would probably be more in my head than anything. And it’d be nice for me to do the same for my partner

Nah you're starting off by thinking you are inadequate. Not sure that's good for your psyche.

I have so much respect for my girlfriend because she is so smart, funny and sexy but I never think she's a better person than me. Mainly because she regularly reminds me that she thinks the same things about me. Took me a long time to find someone I like as much as myself "

I was married for 16 years to a woman who I admired and aspired to be as good as. She felt the same about me so I think we did ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was to date someone, I’d like them to be a better person than me. Someone I could aspire to be and also be inspired by them.

I think that starts things off on an unequal footing. For me the healthiest of relationships are those in which both partners bring something the other can aspire to.

Yeah I get that. It would probably be more in my head than anything. And it’d be nice for me to do the same for my partner

Nah you're starting off by thinking you are inadequate. Not sure that's good for your psyche.

I have so much respect for my girlfriend because she is so smart, funny and sexy but I never think she's a better person than me. Mainly because she regularly reminds me that she thinks the same things about me. Took me a long time to find someone I like as much as myself

I was married for 16 years to a woman who I admired and aspired to be as good as. She felt the same about me so I think we did ok"

So again: why are you looking for someone better than you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In short men marry nice but shag nasty. Not talking about the couples who are on here swinging together.

I'm talking about the 100's of guys who claim to be single but have significant others who are unaware of what they get up to. I've spoken to lots of men who say their partners just don't fuck them anymore or fuck them the way they want so they look for it elsewhere. When asked why don't they just leave, it's usually things along the lines of the partner being perfect in every way except the sex part.

Guys will fuck from here but many wouldn't consider women on here as someone they would date, oh no too dirty, they want someone wholesome and pure but then moan when the sex is polite or non existent. "

There are lots of complex reasons why different relationships descend into sexless situations. I'm dubious about the Madonna whore thing simply because I don't have it. It just doesn't sit right for me. I just haven't heard an explanation of all this complexity that resonates with me. I think it's possibly something else that's going on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was to date someone, I’d like them to be a better person than me. Someone I could aspire to be and also be inspired by them.

I think that starts things off on an unequal footing. For me the healthiest of relationships are those in which both partners bring something the other can aspire to.

Yeah I get that. It would probably be more in my head than anything. And it’d be nice for me to do the same for my partner

Nah you're starting off by thinking you are inadequate. Not sure that's good for your psyche.

I have so much respect for my girlfriend because she is so smart, funny and sexy but I never think she's a better person than me. Mainly because she regularly reminds me that she thinks the same things about me. Took me a long time to find someone I like as much as myself

I was married for 16 years to a woman who I admired and aspired to be as good as. She felt the same about me so I think we did ok

So again: why are you looking for someone better than you?"

Qualities I don’t have. When I met the woman who became my wife I was a bit of a waster. She picked me up, brushed me down and made me realise I had a purpose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe when we find it we just know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In short men marry nice but shag nasty. Not talking about the couples who are on here swinging together.

I'm talking about the 100's of guys who claim to be single but have significant others who are unaware of what they get up to. I've spoken to lots of men who say their partners just don't fuck them anymore or fuck them the way they want so they look for it elsewhere. When asked why don't they just leave, it's usually things along the lines of the partner being perfect in every way except the sex part.

Guys will fuck from here but many wouldn't consider women on here as someone they would date, oh no too dirty, they want someone wholesome and pure but then moan when the sex is polite or non existent. "

I disagree. When I was single and on here I would have been open to a relationship. Lots of couples have started on here. They are the lucky ones though. I found it hard to meet women on here because they have that attitude of 'all men are dogs' or because women get bombarded with messages their profiles end up being like a list of demands

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In short men marry nice but shag nasty. Not talking about the couples who are on here swinging together.

I'm talking about the 100's of guys who claim to be single but have significant others who are unaware of what they get up to. I've spoken to lots of men who say their partners just don't fuck them anymore or fuck them the way they want so they look for it elsewhere. When asked why don't they just leave, it's usually things along the lines of the partner being perfect in every way except the sex part.

Guys will fuck from here but many wouldn't consider women on here as someone they would date, oh no too dirty, they want someone wholesome and pure but then moan when the sex is polite or non existent.

There are lots of complex reasons why different relationships descend into sexless situations. I'm dubious about the Madonna whore thing simply because I don't have it. It just doesn't sit right for me. I just haven't heard an explanation of all this complexity that resonates with me. I think it's possibly something else that's going on here "

I think you could make the argument that being sexually available to all and sundry isn't attractive to men, as it isn't to women, but that it's tempting to men due to their biology where it isn't to women. Most women aren't sexually available to any old guy apart from those who've been driven to desperation. These "nasty" women (just using your opening sentence there) who are available to shag anything with a pulse are then often taken up by guys who'd never think twice about actually dating such an unattractive and desperate woman. The exact same would be said about women who succumbed to fucking "nasty" guys who were so desperate they made it clear they were freely available to shag anything... except women's biology just doesn't make them as confused and desperate enough to ever do this.

Something like that makes much more sense to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was to date someone, I’d like them to be a better person than me. Someone I could aspire to be and also be inspired by them.

I think that starts things off on an unequal footing. For me the healthiest of relationships are those in which both partners bring something the other can aspire to.

Yeah I get that. It would probably be more in my head than anything. And it’d be nice for me to do the same for my partner

Nah you're starting off by thinking you are inadequate. Not sure that's good for your psyche.

I have so much respect for my girlfriend because she is so smart, funny and sexy but I never think she's a better person than me. Mainly because she regularly reminds me that she thinks the same things about me. Took me a long time to find someone I like as much as myself

I was married for 16 years to a woman who I admired and aspired to be as good as. She felt the same about me so I think we did ok

So again: why are you looking for someone better than you?

Qualities I don’t have. When I met the woman who became my wife I was a bit of a waster. She picked me up, brushed me down and made me realise I had a purpose "

Self deprecating again huh? Think we're very different people so hard to comment

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

If I was to let a woman down I would let her down in the least harmful way.

Not saying that’s all men but make of it as you will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unless you absolutely have to, I think you're best off not getting too heavy on a first date. One date I went on laid some heavy shit on me on the first date. Without knowing the person or having any emotional engagement yet it was really easy to walk away. I'm simply not in a good enough place in my life to be able to deal with what that stranger was asking of me. Had she not been a stranger... had I got to know her a little more and began to feel something for her... would that have made my choice more difficult? Definitely. But in her case it was such a big issue that I'm glad she warned me off. But one wonders what kind of Saint she's looking for who would knowingly get involved with a stranger in such a position.

In your case op your "baggage" doesn't seem so vital and necessary to lead with. So maybe leave it until a second or third date. Dunno Good luck

But then some people quite like to jump straight into the guts of someone. See what you're dealing with straight away. I feel I can get a bit too carried away finding out about someone initially but I know I will really get on with someone who is pretty open from the get go. Perhaps not a first date mind, but within a few messages I may be squirming around in your brain a bit "

I enjoy a bit of squirming too!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

That’s just two people’s opinion. Never let others judge you, but if it worries you it is best to judge yourself in the eyes of others.

Personally I couldn’t give a shit what others think but that’s just little old me.

Just don’t beat yourself up about it

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By *iSTARess OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

So to surmise....when it comes to sex, women hold the cards. Relationships, men?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So to surmise....when it comes to sex, women hold the cards. Relationships, men?"

It’s up to you I think is a fair summary.. only yourself can decide what’s best for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think there are many guys who want a trophy wife, but then cheat as they desire the opposite really

Vanity "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So to surmise....when it comes to sex, women hold the cards. Relationships, men?"

I am fucked then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every man is different.

You women will never learn

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"So to surmise....when it comes to sex, women hold the cards. Relationships, men?"

For sure - there was an interesting thread about it the other day, fab vs dating i think.

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

Can you tell me if women want a "nice guy" or a "bad boy"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you know, you know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And if you don't know, now you know

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Thanks guys, some interesting feedback.

By the way I'm not desperate for a relationship or on here for one (if it happened naturally, groovy) just disheartening to hear I'm not wanted for being who I am.

"

Don't get disheartened. The guys who said that are probably immature little boys still attached to their mums apron strings. The right guy for you will come along....don't sell yourself sort. You are worth more than that x

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By *mushkittenWoman
over a year ago

manchester

Strong bold beautiful sexually aware independant successful confident women who KNOW them selves n their bodies will always turn any so called man into a quivering little boy because he fears the control of real woman de masculates him for real women can find what they want at any turn take what they want from any senario n put THE TOY DOWN WHEN SHE IS DONE

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"Strong bold beautiful sexually aware independant successful confident women who KNOW them selves n their bodies will always turn any so called man into a quivering little boy because he fears the control of real woman de masculates him for real women can find what they want at any turn take what they want from any senario n put THE TOY DOWN WHEN SHE IS DONE"

How do you know what all men fear? That's just errant nonsense. You can only speak in regard to the men you have experience of.

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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago

most fundamental aspects


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

I’m bookmarking this because I have so much to say about it, though better to do so at a time when I’m more coherent

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By *abfella40Man
over a year ago

barrow in furness

Personally I think this debate is futile. Times have changed. We focus on who wants what and it generally fails. I rarely see anyone together for more than 3 years or so. Personally it's more cost effective, less stressful, less hassle and more achievable to book an escort.

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By *mushkittenWoman
over a year ago

manchester

Been around for over 20 yrs hun n met some amazing men but on the whole i personally have found as a woman who takes no crap knows what she likes n wants when i say n speak my mind not all but most men run a mile get nasty or block me n thats ok coz i love being marmite you love or hate me but guess what I AM ME I AM A WOMAN N I WONT CHANGE FOR NO ONE LOL X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally I think this debate is futile. Times have changed. We focus on who wants what and it generally fails. I rarely see anyone together for more than 3 years or so. Personally it's more cost effective, less stressful, less hassle and more achievable to book an escort."

That’s a definition of loneliness.. been there and it’s not a nice place mate

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"Been around for over 20 yrs hun n met some amazing men but on the whole i personally have found as a woman who takes no crap knows what she likes n wants when i say n speak my mind not all but most men run a mile get nasty or block me n thats ok coz i love being marmite you love or hate me but guess what I AM ME I AM A WOMAN N I WONT CHANGE FOR NO ONE LOL X"

Maybe your talking to the wrong men? A man worth his salt wants a woman with her own mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find personally that my independence pushes men away. I'm so used to doing everything myself, I find it hard to allow someone to help. It's been an issue for a long time. I've been told I make them feel like they are not needed. I don't even realise that I do it most of the time. I know it's something I need to work on.

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"I find personally that my independence pushes men away. I'm so used to doing everything myself, I find it hard to allow someone to help. It's been an issue for a long time. I've been told I make them feel like they are not needed. I don't even realise that I do it most of the time. I know it's something I need to work on. "

Don't change yourself, just get a bloke that's glad not to be in a relationship that he feels he's having to do all the work. Do you tend to go for alpha males?

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By *mushkittenWoman
over a year ago

manchester

Very true hun but its a special man who knows himself n knows women n how to treat n get the best from them

If i let you see my inbox as a single lady you would see the yucky porn related vile giv us a bum fuk you know you want this random penis pic that many guys send

Read my profile i am clear in my likes n dislikes but it seens many have lost the art of reading this is why manybof us ladies on her just mass block n delete because i am soory hun REAL GENTELMEN ARE HARD TO FIND X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find personally that my independence pushes men away. I'm so used to doing everything myself, I find it hard to allow someone to help. It's been an issue for a long time. I've been told I make them feel like they are not needed. I don't even realise that I do it most of the time. I know it's something I need to work on. "

There’s nothing wrong with that... I keep meeting the opposite and it drives me barmy with all the demands.. they can’t even wheel the blooming bins out once a week ffs

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"Very true hun but its a special man who knows himself n knows women n how to treat n get the best from them

If i let you see my inbox as a single lady you would see the yucky porn related vile giv us a bum fuk you know you want this random penis pic that many guys send

Read my profile i am clear in my likes n dislikes but it seens many have lost the art of reading this is why manybof us ladies on her just mass block n delete because i am soory hun REAL GENTELMEN ARE HARD TO FIND X"

I know exactly the messages you mean. I get them from supposedly straight men all the time. I've read your profile, I read the profiles of anyone I enter into conversation with or just even if their posts interest me. My own profile is short but succinct. Its not difficult to understand, Unless you have an erection it would seem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find personally that my independence pushes men away. I'm so used to doing everything myself, I find it hard to allow someone to help. It's been an issue for a long time. I've been told I make them feel like they are not needed. I don't even realise that I do it most of the time. I know it's something I need to work on.

Don't change yourself, just get a bloke that's glad not to be in a relationship that he feels he's having to do all the work. Do you tend to go for alpha males?"

It's not about changing myself. It's about accepting help sometimes. I can still be independent and have someone help with the burden sometimes. I want to work on it, because a relationship should be give and take. Not me constantly saying "don't worry, I'll do it!" . It's about a partnership. Yes. I always seem to go for alpha males.

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"I find personally that my independence pushes men away. I'm so used to doing everything myself, I find it hard to allow someone to help. It's been an issue for a long time. I've been told I make them feel like they are not needed. I don't even realise that I do it most of the time. I know it's something I need to work on.

Don't change yourself, just get a bloke that's glad not to be in a relationship that he feels he's having to do all the work. Do you tend to go for alpha males?

It's not about changing myself. It's about accepting help sometimes. I can still be independent and have someone help with the burden sometimes. I want to work on it, because a relationship should be give and take. Not me constantly saying "don't worry, I'll do it!" . It's about a partnership. Yes. I always seem to go for alpha males. "

They can take your independence as a threat to their own alpha status. You just have to train them a little more subtly!

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"Very true hun but its a special man who knows himself n knows women n how to treat n get the best from them

If i let you see my inbox as a single lady you would see the yucky porn related vile giv us a bum fuk you know you want this random penis pic that many guys send

Read my profile i am clear in my likes n dislikes but it seens many have lost the art of reading this is why manybof us ladies on her just mass block n delete because i am soory hun REAL GENTELMEN ARE HARD TO FIND X"

Just this minute had another wink from a "straight" bloke in Swansea. Swansea FFS!!! Does he honestly think I'm going to meet him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find personally that my independence pushes men away. I'm so used to doing everything myself, I find it hard to allow someone to help. It's been an issue for a long time. I've been told I make them feel like they are not needed. I don't even realise that I do it most of the time. I know it's something I need to work on.

Don't change yourself, just get a bloke that's glad not to be in a relationship that he feels he's having to do all the work. Do you tend to go for alpha males?

It's not about changing myself. It's about accepting help sometimes. I can still be independent and have someone help with the burden sometimes. I want to work on it, because a relationship should be give and take. Not me constantly saying "don't worry, I'll do it!" . It's about a partnership. Yes. I always seem to go for alpha males.

They can take your independence as a threat to their own alpha status. You just have to train them a little more subtly! "

I'd rather be single than lose my independence..... In fact I am single! . I do know what you mean though. I'll give it a go. But I may sometimes allow them to make a coffee, or change a fuse

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By *mushkittenWoman
over a year ago

manchester

Cat among birdies moment but here it goes lol

Best thing to happen to me was was to become a domme in n traing n sub switch to 1 of the north west finest mistresses i learnt more in 3 yrs with her of how to truly be be rounded woman than i had in the 35 before she gavevme NO she gave me confidence she gave me a feeling of self love n worth i didnt know could live inside me but thats just me we all have our path n what ever fulfills you should be held on to tightly n let go of lightly coz life is short its not gonna go on re run n repete so shake the bugger by by its little hairy balls lol

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"I find personally that my independence pushes men away. I'm so used to doing everything myself, I find it hard to allow someone to help. It's been an issue for a long time. I've been told I make them feel like they are not needed. I don't even realise that I do it most of the time. I know it's something I need to work on.

Don't change yourself, just get a bloke that's glad not to be in a relationship that he feels he's having to do all the work. Do you tend to go for alpha males?

It's not about changing myself. It's about accepting help sometimes. I can still be independent and have someone help with the burden sometimes. I want to work on it, because a relationship should be give and take. Not me constantly saying "don't worry, I'll do it!" . It's about a partnership. Yes. I always seem to go for alpha males.

They can take your independence as a threat to their own alpha status. You just have to train them a little more subtly!

I'd rather be single than lose my independence..... In fact I am single! . I do know what you mean though. I'll give it a go. But I may sometimes allow them to make a coffee, or change a fuse "

Go round the house before they arrive, screwing lids in jars extra tight and alter the ballcock in your cistern so its dripping. Then give them that helpless look ( all women can when they really want to!). He'll feel 6inches taller and you'll know that you've played him like a fish. It might not be honest, but its what makes the world go round. I'm a double alpha male.. .i do everything for myself...and everyone else. Or am I a mug?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find personally that my independence pushes men away. I'm so used to doing everything myself, I find it hard to allow someone to help. It's been an issue for a long time. I've been told I make them feel like they are not needed. I don't even realise that I do it most of the time. I know it's something I need to work on.

Don't change yourself, just get a bloke that's glad not to be in a relationship that he feels he's having to do all the work. Do you tend to go for alpha males?

It's not about changing myself. It's about accepting help sometimes. I can still be independent and have someone help with the burden sometimes. I want to work on it, because a relationship should be give and take. Not me constantly saying "don't worry, I'll do it!" . It's about a partnership. Yes. I always seem to go for alpha males.

They can take your independence as a threat to their own alpha status. You just have to train them a little more subtly!

I'd rather be single than lose my independence..... In fact I am single! . I do know what you mean though. I'll give it a go. But I may sometimes allow them to make a coffee, or change a fuse

Go round the house before they arrive, screwing lids in jars extra tight and alter the ballcock in your cistern so its dripping. Then give them that helpless look ( all women can when they really want to!). He'll feel 6inches taller and you'll know that you've played him like a fish. It might not be honest, but its what makes the world go round. I'm a double alpha male.. .i do everything for myself...and everyone else. Or am I a mug? "

The one alpha I'm sort of involved with, reads the forums. I hope to Christ, he doesn't read this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So to surmise....when it comes to sex, women hold the cards. Relationships, men?"

Reductionism to absurdity?

This whole thread consists of a combination of either binary generalisations or individuals own personal experiences. Nothing wrong with either but they collectively don't seem to reach any conclusion that makes sense to all here.

Perhaps that's no surprise, men and women can no more be lumped into generic boxes than can relationships or sex.

People are all more complex than that. One person's experience is no more vaild than anothers and to ascribe defined roles or needs on a generic basis, on a summation of individual experience can only apply some sort of average of response or emotion or need.

Yet none of us are average. We are all unique. Perhaps that's why there are as many opinions or answers here as there are people.

My experiences needs emotions etc are mine alone. So are everyone else's. Those drivers determine who and what form of relationship I seek, and each one will be different because every person I interact with is different with there own collective needs.

The need for sex is an important driver for all, not just those on fab. The need for relationships the same. We are all social beings and being on fab or elsewhere never changes those inbuilt drives.

Perhaps the secret is not attempting to put everything in defined boxes or even trying to ascribe roles based on gender or any other determinant.

Accepting difference and seeking intangibles like love friendship relationships or any other emotional driven aspects of out lives may be more about knowing ourselves and simply accepting others, recognising that life experience changes us all, that timing luck and how we interact with others will be different with every single person we meet.

If we meet that one who matters to us then sex or relationships become personal individual decisions jointly taken that we hope enhance our lives and the life of that other.

At that point we discover what really matters is what we and that other want to share. The rest is just words.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

Well who ever told you that is talking bollocks. I wouldn't want anyone that isn't completely open. I like life with cards on the table and not having to play stupid guessing games. Lack of openess to me is a serious problem. How can you navigate your life as a couple through all of life's hardships if you don't know what what's going on in each other's head and are able to express your self with each other? If there is anyone to be completely open with it should be your other half. As to size you are who you. It has nothing to do with the measure of a good partner or sexiness. As for confidence it's a weak man that is threaten by confidence. Surely a good man takes prides in your confidence and helps you to be your very best? Surely a good team is were both parties are confident, self assured and want each other to succeed? And uncomventional is great. Both me and my girl are uncomvetional and we revel in our weirdness. A relationship to me is about teamwork, openness and standing together indivisible. It's not you that has the wrong qualites for a relationship, it's lack of supply of the people who look for the right qualities. Don't change and don't settle for people who don't have the maturity and strength to value the prize qualities you have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

Yes. But then you wouldn't want to settle down with someone who had that attitude anyway would you?

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Many of “Today’s” women are undateable as their expectations and TV fuelled need to pile on 3” of makeup and injecting themselves with fillers and Botox ruins them and they just can’t see it.

Mr M

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Many of “Today’s” women are undateable as their expectations and TV fuelled need to pile on 3” of makeup and injecting themselves with fillers and Botox ruins them and they just can’t see it.

Mr M"

I presume you are talking about younger women? I would think a lot of older women have more experience and inner confidence than that. Perhaps you think only younger women are worthy of long-term relationships?

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester


"Many of “Today’s” women are undateable as their expectations and TV fuelled need to pile on 3” of makeup and injecting themselves with fillers and Botox ruins them and they just can’t see it.

Mr M

I presume you are talking about younger women? I would think a lot of older women have more experience and inner confidence than that. Perhaps you think only younger women are worthy of long-term relationships? "

I think younger women take that many selfies that they forget who they are.

They are guided by the plastic morons from TV land instead of having their own personalities.

Then they moan that they can’t find a long term partner.

Older folk come from a far more grounded era.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester


"Many of “Today’s” women are undateable as their expectations and TV fuelled need to pile on 3” of makeup and injecting themselves with fillers and Botox ruins them and they just can’t see it.

Mr M

I presume you are talking about younger women? I would think a lot of older women have more experience and inner confidence than that. Perhaps you think only younger women are worthy of long-term relationships?

I think younger women take that many selfies that they forget who they are.

They are guided by the plastic morons from TV land instead of having their own personalities.

Then they moan that they can’t find a long term partner.

Older folk come from a far more grounded era."

That said, the young guys of today aren’t any better

They have lost their masculinity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you think all men want the same thing?

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"Thanks guys, some interesting feedback.

By the way I'm not desperate for a relationship or on here for one (if it happened naturally, groovy) just disheartening to hear I'm not wanted for being who I am.

"

You've not said who told you "you're not wanted"

Family, good friends, work colleagues, strangers, folk on a swinging site..?

Some on the list I'd listen to as they'd know me very well, others I'd pay no heed to as they know nothing of me.

As for your op..

Just as with most questions posed about the different genders .. there's no definitive answer as we're all unique.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Every man is different.

You women will never learn "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

This is in no way me trying to be disrespectful to you or your career choice..... but

Being a sex worker will turn most men off...

No matter how much a man loves you , It’s going to be really hard to explain to friends, family, and work colleagues how you earn a living... I know everyone will say it shouldn’t matter but trust me ... unless a man is a orphan, his family is very important to him.

So you have narrowed your dating pool to about 10% of all single men....

But there is always hope... my mother always said “ every pot has a lid “

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv still not desided what i want and wont be rushed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Iv still not desided what i want and wont be rushed"

Shall we be together until we decide?

We can drink cans and play FIFA every day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In short men marry nice but shag nasty. Not talking about the couples who are on here swinging together.

I'm talking about the 100's of guys who claim to be single but have significant others who are unaware of what they get up to. I've spoken to lots of men who say their partners just don't fuck them anymore or fuck them the way they want so they look for it elsewhere. When asked why don't they just leave, it's usually things along the lines of the partner being perfect in every way except the sex part.

Guys will fuck from here but many wouldn't consider women on here as someone they would date, oh no too dirty, they want someone wholesome and pure but then moan when the sex is polite or non existent. "

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I know exactly what I want and if a man doesn't like it them f**ck him.

I'm good enough for me and those closest to me, I don't need a man to validate that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Iv still not desided what i want and wont be rushed

Shall we be together until we decide?

We can drink cans and play FIFA every day"

You got cod i love to give a tbag or 2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm after fun but if it led on to something more that would be cool. At the minute happy being single. But like to end up in a relationship eventually with the rite lady

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

I think being open to change is a key aspect of having a successful relationship.

Not necessarily changing who you are as a person because that’s masking and not healthy, but a little change here and there both ways could open you to a lifetime of happiness with someone else.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with?

This is in no way me trying to be disrespectful to you or your career choice..... but

Being a sex worker will turn most men off...

No matter how much a man loves you , It’s going to be really hard to explain to friends, family, and work colleagues how you earn a living... I know everyone will say it shouldn’t matter but trust me ... unless a man is a orphan, his family is very important to him.

So you have narrowed your dating pool to about 10% of all single men....

But there is always hope... my mother always said “ every pot has a lid “

"

Sadly that's correct. Obviously, if, for whatever reason your pool of potential partners is reduced, you are going to find it harder to get a relationship.

It's now how it should be, but there is a social stigma around sex work and most blokes would not be willing to have a relationship with someone who does it.

The same would apply to blokes who want to swing within a relationship. Most women won't accept that and there are vastly more men who swing than women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey there is nothing wrong with us flowery passive girls either

I will be honest I think I'm a bit needy and that puts guys off. I'm a people pleaser and like to do all I can to indulge my partner but I suppose they can have all that straight away so it gives them nothing to work for maybe. That's how I've summarised myself up anyway.

I also think if a guy is really into you he will move heaven and earth for you to be his. I've learnt that the hard way that words mean nothing, no matter how much he tells you he cares about you if he meant it he would do something about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey there is nothing wrong with us flowery passive girls either

I will be honest I think I'm a bit needy and that puts guys off. I'm a people pleaser and like to do all I can to indulge my partner but I suppose they can have all that straight away so it gives them nothing to work for maybe. That's how I've summarised myself up anyway.

I also think if a guy is really into you he will move heaven and earth for you to be his. I've learnt that the hard way that words mean nothing, no matter how much he tells you he cares about you if he meant it he would do something about it. "

Oh yes, actions speak louder than words. Love it when a person says one thing but do the complete opposite and keeps saying it just happens that way....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Many of “Today’s” women are undateable as their expectations and TV fuelled need to pile on 3” of makeup and injecting themselves with fillers and Botox ruins them and they just can’t see it.

Mr M

I presume you are talking about younger women? I would think a lot of older women have more experience and inner confidence than that. Perhaps you think only younger women are worthy of long-term relationships?

I think younger women take that many selfies that they forget who they are.

They are guided by the plastic morons from TV land instead of having their own personalities.

Then they moan that they can’t find a long term partner.

Older folk come from a far more grounded era.

That said, the young guys of today aren’t any better

They have lost their masculinity."

How so?

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

The key is both people going in the relationship understanding themselves as an individual first, being in a good place to want to be in a relationship because it takes effort. I have always thought similarities build a stronger bond and grow together rather than apart. So the question is are you compatible, compromisable and agreeable to each other?

I don't think men are intimidated by independent women, but scared of not living up to that fantasy standard same goes for women especially on the looks department.


"So to surmise....when it comes to sex, women hold the cards. (correct) Relationships, men? (about right except in the case of unwanted pregnancy - it happens) "

I'd assume the majority of men want women they can dominate not bully and somewhat lead, nonetheless a strong woman. Perhaps, a strong woman to others. We can be complicated too.

Unconventional lifestyle is not what the majority wants to bring home to mummy or around friends, however, unconventional women are usually thought of as wild, fun, bad hence women we shag and date might be different depending on chemistry.

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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Ive been told the same. Makes me wander why but i cant change me i say. I just say im not made for love me thinks lol

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

who ever told you that is dumb, eveything they saying you should be makes you the perfect woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

That's horseshit excuse my language and those men are just cowards who are scared of strong and honest women.

I'm currently in a relationship with someone I've met on here and we're both open and honest with each other, neither of our sexual history has been an issue. The fact that we're both very highly sexed is actually a positive not a negative.

I used to think the same as you before I met him but when you meet someone and you click and the relationship works you won't be concerned about all the bullshit comments other men have said to you xx

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By *iSTARess OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

The people that told me that are mates, one woman, one man. Both are straight and heteronormative and projecting from their own experiences but don't think they meant any harm.

I've also never had botox.

I'm fully aware my jobs (dominatrix and female drag queen) put me in a tiny dating pool. I'm an embarrassment to take home to Mummy.

But y'know what, it is what it is. Yes I'm a big tough girl with a vulnerable heart but I'm not likely to change who I am. Thank fuck Fabs is here for my sexual requirements

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "

I just want to fuck the cute flowery girls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find personally that my independence pushes men away. I'm so used to doing everything myself, I find it hard to allow someone to help. It's been an issue for a long time. I've been told I make them feel like they are not needed. I don't even realise that I do it most of the time. I know it's something I need to work on.

Don't change yourself, just get a bloke that's glad not to be in a relationship that he feels he's having to do all the work. Do you tend to go for alpha males?

It's not about changing myself. It's about accepting help sometimes. I can still be independent and have someone help with the burden sometimes. I want to work on it, because a relationship should be give and take. Not me constantly saying "don't worry, I'll do it!" . It's about a partnership. Yes. I always seem to go for alpha males.

They can take your independence as a threat to their own alpha status. You just have to train them a little more subtly!

I'd rather be single than lose my independence..... In fact I am single! . I do know what you mean though. I'll give it a go. But I may sometimes allow them to make a coffee, or change a fuse

Go round the house before they arrive, screwing lids in jars extra tight and alter the ballcock in your cistern so its dripping. Then give them that helpless look ( all women can when they really want to!). He'll feel 6inches taller and you'll know that you've played him like a fish. It might not be honest, but its what makes the world go round. I'm a double alpha male.. .i do everything for myself...and everyone else. Or am I a mug? "

Sometimes it isn’t about the other person doing stuff you can’t do, it’s just about both of you working together to get it done more quickly. There’s no power exchange in that..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people that told me that are mates, one woman, one man. Both are straight and heteronormative and projecting from their own experiences but don't think they meant any harm.

I've also never had botox.

I'm fully aware my jobs (dominatrix and female drag queen) put me in a tiny dating pool. I'm an embarrassment to take home to Mummy.

But y'know what, it is what it is. Yes I'm a big tough girl with a vulnerable heart but I'm not likely to change who I am. Thank fuck Fabs is here for my sexual requirements "

I'd expect those types of people to think that as they won't understand. They're not wrong, just different.

Always be you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people that told me that are mates, one woman, one man. Both are straight and heteronormative and projecting from their own experiences but don't think they meant any harm.

I've also never had botox.

I'm fully aware my jobs (dominatrix and female drag queen) put me in a tiny dating pool. I'm an embarrassment to take home to Mummy.

But y'know what, it is what it is. Yes I'm a big tough girl with a vulnerable heart but I'm not likely to change who I am. Thank fuck Fabs is here for my sexual requirements "

Whilst your friends might not have meant harm they were generalising massively and it’s unhelpful. I continue to believe that there are men out there who want to be with a reasonably strong, moderately confident and overweight woman, and I have many friends who are, but I think he will take a while to find.

You are a woman of depth and substance. You don’t need to be ‘mysterious’, there is enough to find out about you even when you are honest and open I would have thought. And isn’t confidence and independence necessary for us to push boundaries and have adventures with our partners? Surely these are attractive qualities in any potential partner, whatever their gender.

Apologies for tortuous syntax.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can only speak for myself but dating independent women is very hard.

I work 60-80 hours per week plus travel... I dated a woman in a similar position and it was very hard to form a bond when you only see someone twice a month....

I wasn’t intimidated by her , I was just not interested in investing the time needed to let the relationship develop.... but maybe during a different stage in my life. This could have worked....

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

I think Jerry Hall had men sussed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey there is nothing wrong with us flowery passive girls either

I will be honest I think I'm a bit needy and that puts guys off. I'm a people pleaser and like to do all I can to indulge my partner but I suppose they can have all that straight away so it gives them nothing to work for maybe. That's how I've summarised myself up anyway.

I also think if a guy is really into you he will move heaven and earth for you to be his. I've learnt that the hard way that words mean nothing, no matter how much he tells you he cares about you if he meant it he would do something about it. "

I think (some) men tend to prefer needy girls because it makes them feel wanted and gives them something to fix. Us strong independent types on the other hand....

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London


"The people that told me that are mates, one woman, one man. Both are straight and heteronormative and projecting from their own experiences but don't think they meant any harm.

I've also never had botox.

I'm fully aware my jobs (dominatrix and female drag queen) put me in a tiny dating pool. I'm an embarrassment to take home to Mummy.

But y'know what, it is what it is. Yes I'm a big tough girl with a vulnerable heart but I'm not likely to change who I am. Thank fuck Fabs is here for my sexual requirements "

you are perfect

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester


"Many of “Today’s” women are undateable as their expectations and TV fuelled need to pile on 3” of makeup and injecting themselves with fillers and Botox ruins them and they just can’t see it.

Mr M

I presume you are talking about younger women? I would think a lot of older women have more experience and inner confidence than that. Perhaps you think only younger women are worthy of long-term relationships?

I think younger women take that many selfies that they forget who they are.

They are guided by the plastic morons from TV land instead of having their own personalities.

Then they moan that they can’t find a long term partner.

Older folk come from a far more grounded era.

That said, the young guys of today aren’t any better

They have lost their masculinity.

How so?"

They spend far too much time preening themselves.

There’s being clean, hygienic and smelling nice but they then pull on skinny jeans and then put on Brogues with no socks.

It shouldn’t be a battle for who spends the most time in the bathroom getting ready.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester


"The people that told me that are mates, one woman, one man. Both are straight and heteronormative and projecting from their own experiences but don't think they meant any harm.

I've also never had botox.

I'm fully aware my jobs (dominatrix and female drag queen) put me in a tiny dating pool. I'm an embarrassment to take home to Mummy.

But y'know what, it is what it is. Yes I'm a big tough girl with a vulnerable heart but I'm not likely to change who I am. Thank fuck Fabs is here for my sexual requirements "

Good for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been told by two different people within two days the reason I'm single isn't because of my size, but that I'm too confident and honest. Apparently I shouldn't be so open about myself, that men want mystery and they're scared by my unconventional lifestyle.

Do men want to fuck women like me but date cute, passive, flowery girls to settle down with? "
not really but they want to feel as though they are part of an equal friendship /relationship

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