FabSwingers.com forum: Being outed as a swinger

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

So if someone "outed" you how would it affect your life?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't think it would. It would affect the life of the person who outed us though.

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By *aenMan
over a year ago

Here and There

Alternatively, how might it affect their life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone did at work and told them i was being beat up (bdsm)

Took a while to explain after that i was someone who didn’t understand love commitment or relationships lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being on a small island we're pretty much expecting it to happen. Sooner or later. We're just hoping that we won't have to move

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being on a small island we're pretty much expecting it to happen. Sooner or later. We're just hoping that we won't have to move

If they do just chase them off the island with dildos and paddles! That’ll sort them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont know what a swinger is so iv no idea if i am one

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I dont know what a swinger is so iv no idea if i am one"
ok for arguements sake if you where outed for being on a swingers site if you dont know what it means

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Not a jot. Those that know weren’t surprised. It’s really only casual acquaintances that probably don’t know. My daughter is a bit too young to know and it’s not something I’d want her to know until she’s much older.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All our friends already know I sleep with other men. Don’t think my family would believe it - my husband is far too innocent looking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being on a small island we're pretty much expecting it to happen. Sooner or later. We're just hoping that we won't have to move

If they do just chase them off the island with dildos and paddles! That’ll sort them?

will do that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont know what a swinger is so iv no idea if i am oneok for arguements sake if you where outed for being on a swingers site if you dont know what it means"

As im from a family of prudes they would freak out my kids not so much my oldest boy has slept with 5x more women than me so i know he wouldnt be bothered

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"So if someone "outed" you how would it affect your life?"

I'm retired so it wouldn't affect me at all now...I simply wouldn't want all and sundry privy to my private life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was outed to my family and friends by my ex as being a swinger and bi. I don’t talk to them anymore as the judgement and negativity aimed at me for both things was beyond the pail.

So I guess it’s changed my life intrinsically

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meh, nobody elses business and if it were to happen, it would probably be by some jealous pindick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never considered the effect it could have at work so no id not be overly happy

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I was outed to my family and friends by my ex as being a swinger and bi. I don’t talk to them anymore as the judgement and negativity aimed at me for both things was beyond the pail.

So I guess it’s changed my life intrinsically "
im sorry to here that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All our friends already know I sleep with other men. Don’t think my family would believe it - my husband is far too innocent looking

Sleep?

Another dream dies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was outed to my family and friends by my ex as being a swinger and bi. I don’t talk to them anymore as the judgement and negativity aimed at me for both things was beyond the pail.

So I guess it’s changed my life intrinsically "

Even your own family wouldnt accept it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was outed to my family and friends by my ex as being a swinger and bi. I don’t talk to them anymore as the judgement and negativity aimed at me for both things was beyond the pail.

So I guess it’s changed my life intrinsically

Even your own family wouldnt accept it?

Its the 1 thing i fear about the internet

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"I was outed to my family and friends by my ex as being a swinger and bi. I don’t talk to them anymore as the judgement and negativity aimed at me for both things was beyond the pail.

So I guess it’s changed my life intrinsically "

Oh that sucks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was outed to my family and friends by my ex as being a swinger and bi. I don’t talk to them anymore as the judgement and negativity aimed at me for both things was beyond the pail.

So I guess it’s changed my life intrinsically "

Thats a bit harsh. It's your life to live not theirs to judge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine would be impacted far too much. It's not something my friends or family could accept.They are a traditional bunch with strong morals...I'm the black sheep out of them all.

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By *exyspecs and supermanCouple
over a year ago

A house, a very big house in the country

[Removed by poster at 14/07/18 19:40:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mine would be impacted far too much. It's not something my friends or family could accept.They are a traditional bunch with strong morals...I'm the black sheep out of them all."

Mine would be a bit annoyed they hadnt all thought of doing it first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh, they'd be told it has sod all to do with them.

What we do isn't illegal so what can they do. If anyone finds out and they can't handle it, well the door is there, don't let it smack your arse on the way out.

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By *uncouple_12Couple
over a year ago

bristol

It wouldn't change a lot for us to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it would. It would affect the life of the person who outed us though."

That's ominous.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

Not an awful lot.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I lost my job

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm outed and it's made no difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was outed to my family and friends by my ex as being a swinger and bi. I don’t talk to them anymore as the judgement and negativity aimed at me for both things was beyond the pail.

So I guess it’s changed my life intrinsically

Even your own family wouldnt accept it?

Nope. But then they’re very judgemental

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was outed to my family and friends by my ex as being a swinger and bi. I don’t talk to them anymore as the judgement and negativity aimed at me for both things was beyond the pail.

So I guess it’s changed my life intrinsically

Even your own family wouldnt accept it?

Its the 1 thing i fear about the internet"

It had nothing to do with the internet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was outed to my family and friends by my ex as being a swinger and bi. I don’t talk to them anymore as the judgement and negativity aimed at me for both things was beyond the pail.

So I guess it’s changed my life intrinsically

Even your own family wouldnt accept it?

Its the 1 thing i fear about the internet

It had nothing to do with the internet. "

No but its the only type of thing iv done is online so for me it has everything to do with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was outed to my family and friends by my ex as being a swinger and bi. I don’t talk to them anymore as the judgement and negativity aimed at me for both things was beyond the pail.

So I guess it’s changed my life intrinsically

Thats a bit harsh. It's your life to live not theirs to judge. "

And yet they did! One of the reasons that I don’t have contact with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was outed to my family and friends by my ex as being a swinger and bi. I don’t talk to them anymore as the judgement and negativity aimed at me for both things was beyond the pail.

So I guess it’s changed my life intrinsically

Even your own family wouldnt accept it?

Its the 1 thing i fear about the internet

It had nothing to do with the internet.

No but its the only type of thing iv done is online so for me it has everything to do with it"

Ah I understand you, sorry I thought you meant with reference to myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not one bit I reckon

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By *exyspecs and supermanCouple
over a year ago

A house, a very big house in the country

Probably an awful lot.

Family , friends would probably disown us and superman would probably get a lot of stick in his job.

A little anonymity goes a long way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I lost my job"

How?

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

It wouldn't the star did it's best meh

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By *appytrailmanMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I'm quite open about it with mates so not afraid of it that side and not sure what they would say at work if I was 'outed'

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

They could out me as a member of Fabs... no probs my car number plate tells the tale.

Out me as a Naturist -most people know that and wouldnt be surprised.

They could say I was a Swinger but that would be a lie.

Im too old to care what people think or say. Is it a sackable offence?

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I lost my job

How?"

Some jobs say that having naked pictures of yourself online is unacceptable, even if you are anonymous and your face isn't visible. To be honest i don't want to work in a company like that either.

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"So if someone "outed" you how would it affect your life?"

It woodount do anything to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So if someone "outed" you how would it affect your life?"

Hopefully a few locals would come and introduce themselves as secret swingers too lol and as for family if they have a problem with it then tuff on them

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"So if someone "outed" you how would it affect your life?"

The biggest issue for me would probably be kids at school finding out. If it could be deemed embarrassing to the school, I could lose my job. Other than that, I doubt people would be overly shocked.

Cal

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

"So if someone "outed" you how would it affect your life?"
Nope a little thing like that no chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have any close family so that wouldn't matter and friends would probably be curious and want to know more about it.

But I doubt it would go down well at work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is too short to care to be honest.

Obviously it's a secret between me and hubby so we aren't shouting it from the rooftops but if it did come out, I wouldn't have a heart attack over it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have any close family so that wouldn't matter and friends would probably be curious and want to know more about it.

But I doubt it would go down well at work

That got me thinking. Maybe I should ask my boss if such info about me would affect my job

Mrs

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By *harisajidanWoman
over a year ago

london

No one would care or be surprised. I talk to my HR office about it. In fact, my HR rep is already on here.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Wouldn't make a snot of difference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would be hard for the kids. Ain't worth risking any sort of outing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was outed to my family and friends by my ex as being a swinger and bi. I don’t talk to them anymore as the judgement and negativity aimed at me for both things was beyond the pail.

So I guess it’s changed my life intrinsically

Thats a bit harsh. It's your life to live not theirs to judge.

And yet they did! One of the reasons that I don’t have contact with them"

I have a brother. I stood by him.

He's my brother I could do no different. The family they came round to the idea eventually. Give them time. Don't close any doors.

And good luck. I hope it changes for you.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

It would not affect me however people will be like I knew something was fishy. But I would get one or two we need to talk from family.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"So if someone "outed" you how would it affect your life?"

We were..and it isn't very nice.We live in a small village and whilst we're not ashamed of what we do, we prefer it to remain private.

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

Happened to me. Not great.. Still dealing with fallout. Far more careful now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not one bit.

I’m self employed, single, and those who mean the most wouldn’t be shocked that I’m on a site like this!

Someone tried to “scare” me on here when I first joined making out they knew me but keeping their identity secret, but it didn’t take long to figure it out and when I addressed them by their name they suddenly weren’t as cocky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So if someone "outed" you how would it affect your life?"

Big time..... my parents would make me go to church and confess all my sins

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Not a lot. We are adults and not doing anything wrong. We are not too shy about it either and have had some success recruiting others into the scene. At the end of the day the people who know and love us will still love us and if they didnt they wouldn't be worth knowing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not a lot. We are adults and not doing anything wrong. We are not too shy about it either and have had some success recruiting others into the scene. At the end of the day the people who know and love us will still love us and if they didnt they wouldn't be worth knowing. "

Recruting others... Sounds like a sect

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By *entenTeaCouple
over a year ago

Buckley North Wales

Don't think it would matter much at main job, a bit of shtick and not much else, second job not so sure how they would react.

Probably get booted from a voluntary work organisation, but may will leave that soon any way as currently on suspension.

Our current church are a pretty accepting bunch to be fair. A few raised eyebrows at most but doubt we'd get chucked out. Some family and our late teen kids know already.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't think it would matter much at main job, a bit of shtick and not much else, second job not so sure how they would react.

Probably get booted from a voluntary work organisation, but may will leave that soon any way as currently on suspension.

Our current church are a pretty accepting bunch to be fair. A few raised eyebrows at most but doubt we'd get chucked out. Some family and our late teen kids know already."

How can they suspend you if it's voluntary?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't think it would matter much at main job, a bit of shtick and not much else, second job not so sure how they would react.

Probably get booted from a voluntary work organisation, but may will leave that soon any way as currently on suspension.

Our current church are a pretty accepting bunch to be fair. A few raised eyebrows at most but doubt we'd get chucked out. Some family and our late teen kids know already.

How can they suspend you if it's voluntary? "

Lifeboatmen are volunteers but they got sacked for having a funny picture on a cup. The world's gone mad lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it would cos I would deny it till I was blue in the face. For the person who outed me tho...their life would never be the same again x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I already ‘out’ myself so not a problem at all.

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By *lbert_shlossedMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Chance would be a fine thing

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By *rank n BettyCouple
over a year ago

Not meeting

I told my dad because I found out my ex & his new partner joined (they viewed my profile & I blocked them straight away). I didn’t want my ex having a hold over me & would rather my dad heard it from me rather than anyone else.

B x

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By *randMrsPCouple
over a year ago

Nr Salisbury

I don't think our close friends would care, or be surprised! I think people at Mrs P's work would be surprised but wouldn't be bothered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So if someone "outed" you how would it affect your life?

We were..and it isn't very nice.We live in a small village and whilst we're not ashamed of what we do, we prefer it to remain private."

You look like you got over it ok so good for you guys as it must of been really annoying for you both.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"So if someone "outed" you how would it affect your life?

We were..and it isn't very nice.We live in a small village and whilst we're not ashamed of what we do, we prefer it to remain private.

You look like you got over it ok so good for you guys as it must of been really annoying for you both."

Thank you.At the time, we had several grandchildren at the village school and you know how gossipy those places can be with the playground chat amongst parents. We didn't want our grandchildren affected and mocked by this.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Nobody needs to know the intricate details but I'm very out.

Big believer in the more folks are open about it, better for all

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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

My mom knows as hey shes my babysitter and the person i let know where im going so i can be safe. Its nice having people who dont judge you and its nice having someone to fall.back on when a meet goes wrong and u need to get out x

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By *hechairman18Man
over a year ago

Salford Quays , Manchester

I organise, and host party's for couples and fems here, at my home, in Manchester.

It's not something that I am proud about, nor am I ashamed.

But, I do tend to keep a low profile.

Some of my friends know, and accept the situation.

Therefore if I were to be "outed", I don't think it would be such a big deal.

But, you don't know till it happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So if someone "outed" you how would it affect your life?

We were..and it isn't very nice.We live in a small village and whilst we're not ashamed of what we do, we prefer it to remain private.

You look like you got over it ok so good for you guys as it must of been really annoying for you both.

Yes you have to keep the kids away from finding out.

It always happens to the nice people. We see your quotes quite a lot and they are always nice and helpfull to people and we like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody needs to know the intricate details but I'm very out.

Big believer in the more folks are open about it, better for all

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

An ex FB outed me on Facebook, posted a screen shot of my profile, after telling his family & friends we'd split as he'd found out what I was really like.

The comments on the post, you'd have thought I was a baby killer!

My response was to add a screenshot of my veris, his being my very first veri (before I blocked him & it disappeared) and a screenshot of his profile.

People who live in glass houses, really should consider their actions!

It caused him more grief than he expected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody needs to know the intricate details but I'm very out.

Big believer in the more folks are open about it, better for all

I’ve seen this backfire on someone .......

Good friends of mine had a open marriage.. She played more than he did.... she told all her girl friends about her lifestyle.... when they decided to get a divorce , all the friends sided with the husband in the custody battle....

All I’m saying is it’s safer to be discreet

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

"So if someone "outed" you how would it affect your life?"

You know those cattle grids you see in the middle of nowhere? Very heavy they are. Impossible to lift when stark bollock naked and underneath one. Just an observation. Not something I would ever do to someone. At all. Ever.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Nobody needs to know the intricate details but I'm very out.

Big believer in the more folks are open about it, better for all

I’ve seen this backfire on someone .......

All I’m saying is it’s safer to be discreet "

One thing I've noticed with vanilla wives is that they tend to automatically assume a female swinger is out to fuck their husband. Hence they become extremely hostile. In my experience, the relative attractiveness of the husband is irrelevant and if anything, the less attractive he is then the more hostile they are.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I'd obviously prefer to maintain control of who knows but if I were outed the impacts would vary according to whom I had been outed...

Biggest concern would be my kids as it's really not something they should have to know about let alone try and understand.

Friends and family - I'd like to think would be supportive (even though I can imagine the initial sniggers from some of them) - if they weren't then meh that's their problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was outed by a former colleague as part of his defence for a disciplinary for inappropriate begaviour. It's an open and generally unspoken secret that some aspects of my life are unconventional but he was so wide off the mark it was almost funny.

He got sacked but having to respond to his allegations/defence to my manager and HR was a pain in the arse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I am single and male, it wouldn't

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By *ir_anthonyMan
over a year ago

kenilworth

I was outed a few years ago by a certain member of the Birmingham scene known for her habit of outing people she takes a dislike too

I was a volunteer for several charities including driving a minibus for underprivileged and handicapped children

It took 3 months to replace me as I was asked politely to leave

Subsequently they lost the funding while looking for a driver with CRB checks and I don’t know how many people have missed out due to the vendictive nature of one so called enlightened Domme

Soon after her club closed down too thanks to the national papers

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