FabSwingers.com forum: chatting shit

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Feeling a bit blue today. Hopefully some of you can cheer me up with amusing banter. Tell jokes, tell me something funny about your time here.... Anything really. Just looking for a little distraction and to find my smile again. Hugs to all x

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

I once met a lass who took me to the wrong hotel after travelling half the country but subsequently gave me one of the best times after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’. He said: ‘That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome’. ‘Is it common?’ I asked. ‘It’s not unusual’ he replied.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once met a lass who took me to the wrong hotel after travelling half the country but subsequently gave me one of the best times after

Hahaha.... I believe that was a certain gentleman's fault. I'm sure she felt the same though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’. He said: ‘That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome’. ‘Is it common?’ I asked. ‘It’s not unusual’ he replied.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FAF?

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I’m sorry to hear that lovely.

I may have mentioned it once or twice on threads but I don’t like the heat however I’m white and probably lacking in vitamin D so I’ve just spent ten minutes putting suncream everywhere and now I’m back in! Too hot too hot!

And my neighbour has just been out shouting ‘go away pussy’ .... I don’t think they were talking to me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"FAF?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m sorry to hear that lovely.

And my neighbour has just been out shouting ‘go away pussy’ .... I don’t think they were talking to me

Aww bless! I'm the same haha. I'm milk bottle white and heat is not my friend.

Hahaha hopefully not! I think they may have been luring you with treats, if they were

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax

"FAF?

Big hugs darl.

I went to the Dr's cos I had a lettuce in my pants.

Dr said that looks bad.

I said its just the tip of the iceberg.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"I’m sorry to hear that lovely.

And my neighbour has just been out shouting ‘go away pussy’ .... I don’t think they were talking to me

Aww bless! I'm the same haha. I'm milk bottle white and heat is not my friend.

Hahaha hopefully not! I think they may have been luring you with treats, if they were

I’m a sucker for a treat

Yes I’m destined to be pale forever. I don’t know how people sunbathe it’s really hard work.

I hope you’re ok lovely x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awwww, sending you hugs and good stuff, OP. I’ve just had a cold, cold glass of the most beautiful homemade elderflower cordial that a dear friend made. It was delicious and it tastes of sunshine. Just smelling is makes me think of the lines from Oberon’s speech in A Midsummer Night’s Dream:

I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,

Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,

Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,

With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"FAF?

Big hugs darl.

I went to the Dr's cos I had a lettuce in my pants.

Dr said that looks bad.

I said its just the tip of the iceberg.

That shouldn't have made me laugh, but it bloody did!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m sorry to hear that lovely.

And my neighbour has just been out shouting ‘go away pussy’ .... I don’t think they were talking to me

Aww bless! I'm the same haha. I'm milk bottle white and heat is not my friend.

Hahaha hopefully not! I think they may have been luring you with treats, if they were

I’m a sucker for a treat

Yes I’m destined to be pale forever. I don’t know how people sunbathe it’s really hard work.

I hope you’re ok lovely x "

Haha... Treats are the best

I couldn't do it either. I'd be carted off in an ambulance, with 2nd degree burns, within the hour

Thank you lovely. I'm trying to be. A few days and I'm sure I'll be back to my strong, independent self

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aww op I have no jokes, just sending big ((((hugs)))) and hope you feel brighter soon x

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Feeling a bit blue today. Hopefully some of you can cheer me up with amusing banter. Tell jokes, tell me something funny about your time here.... Anything really. Just looking for a little distraction and to find my smile again. Hugs to all x"
If you want someone to chat shit to , I'm a World leading expert

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Awwww, sending you hugs and good stuff, OP. I’ve just had a cold, cold glass of the most beautiful homemade elderflower cordial that a dear friend made. It was delicious and it tastes of sunshine. Just smelling is makes me think of the lines from Oberon’s speech in A Midsummer Night’s Dream:

I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,

Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,

Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,

With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine."

You have such a beautiful way with words lovely. Just seeing your username makes me smile as i know I'm going to be inspired by your mind.... Very easy on the eye too haha. Thank you lovely

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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago

most fundamental aspects

Small talk at a bukake party:

“Do you cum here often?”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Aww op I have no jokes, just sending big ((((hugs)))) and hope you feel brighter soon x "

Thank you lovely. That really means a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happy Birthday OP

Love you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Feeling a bit blue today. Hopefully some of you can cheer me up with amusing banter. Tell jokes, tell me something funny about your time here.... Anything really. Just looking for a little distraction and to find my smile again. Hugs to all x If you want someone to chat shit to , I'm a World leading expert

Looks like I've found a front runner here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Small talk at a bukake party:

“Do you cum here often?”

Oh ffs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a bear shags in the woods and nobody hears is it still a bear

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Happy Birthday OP

Love you

Please don't add another year on. I was bad enough turning 40

If you loved me, you would have PM'd me your bank details, like i asked

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If a bear shags in the woods and nobody hears is it still a bear"

Or did it really shag? Mind blown

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Happy Birthday OP

Love you

Please don't add another year on. I was bad enough turning 40

If you loved me, you would have PM'd me your bank details, like i asked

I have tried but filters didnt allow me to follow your dream

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

I went into a bar and asked for a double entendre. So the barman gave me one.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Feeling a bit blue today. Hopefully some of you can cheer me up with amusing banter. Tell jokes, tell me something funny about your time here.... Anything really. Just looking for a little distraction and to find my smile again. Hugs to all x If you want someone to chat shit to , I'm a World leading expert

Looks like I've found a front runner here

"
Seriously I'm good . Ask anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a bear shags in the woods and nobody hears is it still a bear

Or did it really shag? Mind blown

Iv something u can blow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a bear shags in the woods and nobody hears is it still a bear

Or did it really shag? Mind blown

Iv something u can blow

A balloon

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax

"FAF?

Big hugs darl.

I went to the Dr's cos I had a lettuce in my pants.

Dr said that looks bad.

I said its just the tip of the iceberg.

That shouldn't have made me laugh, but it bloody did!

Good. I had an Eastern European cleaner but I had to let her go.

Took her 3 hours to do the living room carpet.

She was a Slovak.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"FAF?

Big hugs darl.

I went to the Dr's cos I had a lettuce in my pants.

Dr said that looks bad.

I said its just the tip of the iceberg.

That shouldn't have made me laugh, but it bloody did!

Good. I had an Eastern European cleaner but I had to let her go.

Took her 3 hours to do the living room carpet.

She was a Slovak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once had a dream I was in a local field in my jammies. I found a hedgehog - and spent the whole dream trying to figure out what type of dog it was. I was so frustrated I was in tears. I woke up crying

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I’ll cheer you up m’lady with one of my many highly fascinating facts

.....Did you know that the heart of a shrimp is actually located in it’s head?

How verily intriguing is it not?

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax

"I’ll cheer you up m’lady with one of my many highly fascinating facts

.....Did you know that the heart of a shrimp is actually located in it’s head?

How verily intriguing is it not?

Nice. And a cow has 4 stomachs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,

Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,

Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,

With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine.

You have such a beautiful way with words lovely. Just seeing your username makes me smile as i know I'm going to be inspired by your mind.... Very easy on the eye too haha. Thank you lovely

Oh that’s such a lovely thing to say. I am veritably enchanted

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

A man says to his wife 'Tell me something which will make me happy and make me sad at the same time.'

She thinks for a moment, then says

'Your cock is bigger than your brother's.'

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By *umpsimusMan
over a year ago

Camberley

Viagra is now available in powder for for your tea.

It doesn't enhance your sexual performance but it does stop your biscuit from going soft.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once had a dream I was in a local field in my jammies. I found a hedgehog - and spent the whole dream trying to figure out what type of dog it was. I was so frustrated I was in tears. I woke up crying"

That actually made me want to give you a hug

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That actually made me want to give you a hug"

I told the kids at work and a six year turned around and said ‘my parents pay you to look after us’ and one muttered ‘she isn’t right in the head’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That actually made me want to give you a hug

I told the kids at work and a six year turned around and said ‘my parents pay you to look after us’ and one muttered ‘she isn’t right in the head’

Ouch! Those kids are brutal!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That actually made me want to give you a hug

I told the kids at work and a six year turned around and said ‘my parents pay you to look after us’ and one muttered ‘she isn’t right in the head’

Ouch! Those kids are brutal! "

They are, they really are

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By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

My penis was in the Guinness book of world records.

But then the librarian told me to take it out.

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Oh dear! I hope you perked up since you started the thread. I always find writing a rude story or a silly poem cheers me up no end. I also heartily recommend a cuddle with a dog or two.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

Get the Bare Necessities song from the Jungle Book on, can't fail to smile at that

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