FabSwingers.com forum: Personal rules for dating?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This post comes after a young woman (3 years younger than me) asked for my number on the walk home.

We have interacted a lot as the organisation I work for outsources our non-essential paper work to them. She is in admin and I often take our lab order papers down to her to be picked up.

We have chatted and flirted a lot recently but in the past i've spoken moderately at length about, at the time, my girlfriend (now ex to clarify).

Given that she knew that a few months ago I was dating and she knew my gf by name and occupation I turned polited declined and said that I was not read for a relationship as politely as possible. I did this as even though at face value she comes across as a potentially good partner - I dontblike to date people who know details about an ex after several incidents where it has cause problems regarding jealousy and comparrisons being drawn.

Is this a stupid rule or a sensible one?

Just curious for thoughts and curious whether others have rules?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1. Don’t pick up the phone. You know he’s only calling cause he’s d*unk and alone.

2. Don’t let him in. You’ll have to kick him out again.

And 3. Don’t be his friend. You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning.

And 4. If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.

Rules.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Rules for Dating:

1. Try not to

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Rule 1

Does she fuck on a first date?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rule 1

Does she fuck on a first date?"

Does her dad own a brewery

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".......

And 4. If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.

Love this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well I should have expected sarcasm on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. Don’t pick up the phone. You know he’s only calling cause he’s d*unk and alone.

2. Don’t let him in. You’ll have to kick him out again.

And 3. Don’t be his friend. You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning.

And 4. If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.

Rules.

Isnt that a song?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. Don’t pick up the phone. You know he’s only calling cause he’s d*unk and alone.

2. Don’t let him in. You’ll have to kick him out again.

And 3. Don’t be his friend. You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning.

And 4. If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.

Rules.

Isnt that a song?

Yes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I should have expected sarcasm on here

All she did was ask for your number..

Aren't you reading a bit too much into it/getting ahead of yourself?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. Don’t pick up the phone. You know he’s only calling cause he’s d*unk and alone.

2. Don’t let him in. You’ll have to kick him out again.

And 3. Don’t be his friend. You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning.

And 4. If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.

Rules.

Isnt that a song?

Yes

Lol thought i recognized it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. Don’t pick up the phone. You know he’s only calling cause he’s d*unk and alone.

2. Don’t let him in. You’ll have to kick him out again.

And 3. Don’t be his friend. You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning.

And 4. If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him.

Rules.

Isnt that a song?

Course it is, it's Dua lipa

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lenderfoxMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Always trust your instincts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This post comes after a young woman (3 years younger than me) asked for my number on the walk home.

We have interacted a lot as the organisation I work for outsources our non-essential paper work to them. She is in admin and I often take our lab order papers down to her to be picked up.

We have chatted and flirted a lot recently but in the past i've spoken moderately at length about, at the time, my girlfriend (now ex to clarify).

Is this a stupid rule or a sensible one?

Just curious for thoughts and curious whether others have rules?"
My rule is..... No rules

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another vote for no rules... but then I haven't had the "comparison" experience you had. Were I to have that I may be a bit more cautious

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This post comes after a young woman (3 years younger than me) asked for my number on the walk home.

We have interacted a lot as the organisation I work for outsources our non-essential paper work to them. She is in admin and I often take our lab order papers down to her to be picked up.

We have chatted and flirted a lot recently but in the past i've spoken moderately at length about, at the time, my girlfriend (now ex to clarify).

I dontblike to date people who know details about an ex after several incidents where it has cause problems regarding jealousy and comparrisons being drawn.

Is this a stupid rule or a sensible one?

Just curious for thoughts and curious whether others have rules?"

I think this is stupid. It basically means you can only ever date people who have never been in your friends circle. And somehow you are managing date people that never become part of your friends circle because that's the only way to make sure a new lover doesn't meet the old one. That or having to trade in all your friends every time you go through a break up. Presumably that means they don't make it past casual dating?

I have some rules.

No 3rd chances. They only get the benefit of the doubt once. Or maybe not at all depending on the offence.

If they don't introduce you to friends or family after 4 months or so then either they are not serious or they are hiding something.

Walk away from dreamers and people who don't do as they say.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is only one rule that ever matters...

Does she make you happy?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is only one rule that ever matters...

Does she make you floppy?"

Couldn't agree more

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think this is stupid. It basically means you can only ever date people who have never been in your friends circle. And somehow you are managing date people that never become part of your friends circle because that's the only way to make sure a new lover doesn't meet the old one. That or having to trade in all your friends every time you go through a break up. Presumably that means they don't make it past casual dating?"

Also, you're kind of tarring people with the same brush... although you've had it happen in the past, it doesn't mean that this lady will do the same.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My only rule is to trust my gut feelings.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rules for Dating:

1. Try not to"

Best rule ever

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My only rule is to trust my gut feelings. "
and your guts are bad because you had a curry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This post comes after a young woman (3 years younger than me) asked for my number on the walk home.

We have interacted a lot as the organisation I work for outsources our non-essential paper work to them. She is in admin and I often take our lab order papers down to her to be picked up.

We have chatted and flirted a lot recently but in the past i've spoken moderately at length about, at the time, my girlfriend (now ex to clarify).

Is this a stupid rule or a sensible one?

Just curious for thoughts and curious whether others have rules?"

If it's your rule and it suits you, it's sensible.

If I was single and dating I'd have two rules.

1 go out for a drink with nearly everyone who asked me

2 if I liked them on a first date I'd be absolutely honest about what I want from life on the second date. If they didn't want similar there wouldn't be a third.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have some rules.

No 3rd chances. They only get the benefit of the doubt once. Or maybe not at all depending on the offence.

If they don't introduce you to friends or family after 4 months or so then either they are not serious or they are hiding something.

Walk away from dreamers and people who don't do as they say. "

I like your rules. They would have saved me some pain earlier this year.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *witch4Fun24Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

1) can't be older than my mother (I like older people so this has to come into place more often than you think).

2) don't get with anyone from my very close circle of friends as has potential for disaster if it ends badly I.e. Divisive when needless.

3) Fuck before committing, nothing worse than taking that leap to find you are sexually incompatible.

4) Openness, honesty and communication. I am poly so all possible relationships have to be absolutely ok with that, at least get on well enough to talk to my other partners and be emotionally literate enough to deal with that and the accompanying jealousy.

5) Unmarried and not trying for children; past experience has shown me that it just causes issues in the long run because one of them is going to change their mind eventually and when baby happens soo much drama!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *witch4Fun24Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

Rules for sex partners entirely different obviously; especially if intending just a sexual partnership or one off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's a wise rule for guidance not to get involved with certain groups of people due to situation, including protection of your livelihood and wellbeing.

Keeping it black and white stops others being led into grey areas and hoping for something that could disappoint

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

Few hard and fast rules, but the main two being no friend’s ex’s and no work colleagues (the same goes for causal sex too!)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread