FabSwingers.com forum: Bereavement sucks

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Help me out a bit and share your recent loss if you want to. Feeling alone and totally lost at the moment

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By *al01Man
over a year ago

solihull

[Removed by poster at 12/07/18 19:27:23]

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By *al01Man
over a year ago

solihull

Lost my dad brother and sister in the space of 18 months a few years ago. Was head fucked for ages but u gotta keep uourself goin

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Sorry to here about your loss op. I lost my stepfather back in november. We all grieve in different ways. He had cancer and survived 18 months. The last 6 where horrendous but i think i did most of my grieving while he was alive.

Try and talk to people grieving is a natural process. If you find your not coping maybe see a grieving councellor.

I wish you all the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Help me out a bit and share your recent loss if you want to. Feeling alone and totally lost at the moment"

If your bereavement is recent and raw, I wouldn't recommend posting in here.

Talk to your family and real friends.

You have my sympathy but not everyone on here will offer the same.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Help me out a bit and share your recent loss if you want to. Feeling alone and totally lost at the moment

If your bereavement is recent and raw, I wouldn't recommend posting in here.

Talk to your family and real friends.

You have my sympathy but not everyone on here will offer the same."
when my dad died it was the forums that got me threw the first few weeks. I will never forget how supportive everyone was and thats over 4 years ago now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with other posters, talk it through.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

Lost my Mum and Dad in the space of five months back in 2014/15.

Be kind to yourself and whatever you feel, don't be ashamed of it. But do try and keep people and activities in your life. Grief (at least for me) can make you just want to hide from the world and it can become a habit that's hard to break.

Therapy, if you're able to get some, can obviously be a big help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lost my brother 8 years ago, I agree, it’s good to talk. Just found out this week that my mum has a large tumour in her Colon, waiting to see if it’s spread. Worried sick but need to stay positive.

Sorry for your loss OP xxx

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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle

My mum died 18 months ago and it hit me harder than I ever imagined it would. I stayed on here but hid my profile for a long time. Just reading the forums, and making the occasional comment, really helped me in a strange kind of way. Not everyone has family or the kind of friends that they can discuss their bereavement with.

If things get too heavy for you then perhaps try talking to your GP. Failing that, the Samaritans are great or you might be able to find a contact number for a local crisis team. If they can't help then they can point you in the right direction.

Please, don't ever think that you're alone.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

It’s the SARAH cycle.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"It’s the SARAH cycle.

My mother died last year and the fall out and problems still continue.

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By *heDesiCandiTV/TS
over a year ago

… travelling

To live in beating hearts left behind is not to die buddy

Be strong

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By *un4meanduMan
over a year ago

STOTFOLD

Lost my dad was a year ago last week but support of family and friends helped still ongoing due to court case so cant really get closure on it but you need to talk , most important is take care of yourself and those close to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone who was practically a second mum to me killed herself in September 2009. It's been all that time but I still find it hard to talk about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah I’m sorry op (((huge hug)))

I was relieved when I lost my dad to dementia two years ago, I’d cared for him for 8 years, he was only 72 when he died but it’s a heartbreaking disease for all involved. However a few months later I completely fell apart. I still miss him every single day and either go sit with his ashes in my house or on his bench where we placed that and have a chat.

Please look after yourself and talk to those who you can.

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By *astings SocialWoman
over a year ago

Hastings

I lost my dad in November and my mum beginning of April x

I hate the fact that my kids won't have them in their lives x

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Sorry for your loss op.

We lost Dicks mum, my best friends mum and mine in a six month span.

It was and still is hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lost my wife 20 months ago to cancer. She fought it on and off for 8 years. Miss her every minute of every day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum was murdered by my dad 3 years ago. I grieve for both of them, both gone in different ways. I still have terrible days where I just can't do anything but cry and mope. I have had counselling, lots of it, and it has certainly helped. I wish I had brothers and sisters, perhaps it would have helped who knows. I live day to day at the moment, one step at a time, but I know that talking about your grief/bereavement really does help x

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By *amlee7986Couple
over a year ago

nottingham

Bereavement does indeed suck

when it's rough you just have to get through one day at a time, or even 1 minute at a time if you need to! Celebrate each minute knowing their memory still lives on in you.

It's not recent but I lost both my grandma and grandad (both of which I absolutely adored!) In the space of 48 hours, completely unrelated illnesses, just coincidence. It's tough but you do get to the other side where you can remember them with a smile rather than all consuming sadness. Big hugs op x

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By *erdana_1TV/TS
over a year ago

Hull

Aww so sorry about your lost xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lost my gran 2 weeks ago, funeral was Tuesday. We werr very close. I now have no grandparents left. I just try and block it out xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mum was murdered by my dad 3 years ago. I grieve for both of them, both gone in different ways. I still have terrible days where I just can't do anything but cry and mope. I have had counselling, lots of it, and it has certainly helped. I wish I had brothers and sisters, perhaps it would have helped who knows. I live day to day at the moment, one step at a time, but I know that talking about your grief/bereavement really does help x"

Oh my goodness, my heart really goes out to you lovely, cannot imagine how that must affect you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lost my brother 8 years ago, I agree, it’s good to talk. Just found out this week that my mum has a large tumour in her Colon, waiting to see if it’s spread. Worried sick but need to stay positive.

Sorry for your loss OP xxx"

My Mum had that but if they catch it early enough they can operate and remove it. In my Mum's case it did eventually come back in another place but she had another 6 happy years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All these messages remind us that bereavement is something that touches all of us and a kind word or a hug does help.

Over the last 5 years I have lost all of my immediate family except for my Sister and Daughter. The one death I grieved for the most was for my younger brother who was killed in a road accident aged 29. I was not able to say goodbye to him until after he was gone. Hugs to the OP and everyone.

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

I'm very sorry to read about your loss OP (and for everyone else on the thread who's also been bereaved). Somebody I was very close to and thought the world of (and was the mum I wished I had) died around 6 weeks ago and it's been an absolute body blow though it ended her suffering and for that I'm thankful. Although being bereaved is something most of us will experience you never 'get used' to it and nor should you. There's no easy or right solution to feeling better and you kind of just have to live through it (all the crazy thoughts, the stomach twisting grief, the anger, the insomnia, the injustice, the disbelief and all the other feelings prompted by death) ... just slogging away and taking each day as it comes until one day your head allows you some relief from it all. Having being bereaved before, I know that at some point I'll be able to think fondly of the person I lost with less and less sorrow, though there'll inevitably be 'moments' which catch you unawares .... but right now, and you're probably feeling the same, it's bloody hard and horribly surreal. Learning to live with the death of a loved one takes as long as it takes so please don't beat yourself up about how this is affecting you right now, and whichever way you deal with it, however you're remembering them, you need to do what feels right for you. I'm sure that if you wanted/needed to talk about your experience you'd find a lot of support here for example. In fact, I wish more people would speak more readily about grief generally ... it wouldn't take away the hurt of course but I do think it'd provide some reassurance when your world's been turned upside down that the scary way you can feel is normal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel for you op I really do. My mum died 11 years ago and my sister last year. It’s completely shit. I have too much to say on here but if I can help just message youdont need to struggle alone. I would recommend counselling even if you don’t think it’s working. I think it was session 10 or 11 for me before something clicked but I felt talking to someone Independent helped initially so stuck with it x

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By *woforone2025Couple (MM)
over a year ago

Dublin

"Help me out a bit and share your recent loss if you want to. Feeling alone and totally lost at the moment"

Time heals even a couple of weeks can big a big difference to how you feel. Dig deep keep yourself busy do things to celebrate the life of those gone, you'll be surprised how much it helps you mourn their loss.

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By *ackDanielsWhiteRabbitMan
over a year ago

Halifax

Hugs to everybody. My Mum passed away 3 years ago but lost her a long time before that to dementia. Still think of her every day. Its very easy to say but time does help.

When I think of her now I remember the good times rather than the worst.

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I lost my aunt in March, we were very close. It was very hard. She was in hospital for three weeks before she died but either wouldn't or couldn't communicate and so I'll never fully understand how she ended up in the state she did (I had seen her two weeks before she was admitted and spoken on the phone many times in between, but ultimately it seems that she was purposely stopping me from going round and seeing her). Nobody ever tells you about all the things that need to be done after someone dies either. It's just a horrible horrible time.

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By *hoenix risingWoman
over a year ago

from the land of filthy fuckers

"Help me out a bit and share your recent loss if you want to. Feeling alone and totally lost at the moment"

Youre far from alone one of my best friends killed herself Mondayand i agree grief is a bitch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice is to just go through the motions and don’t try to suppress them. It’s going to feel shit for a while, but try and get out and see friends, talk to whoever will listen and ask for help if you need it. Grief is rough, but it does get better X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for your kind messages and I'm sorry to read your experiences here. Life sucks sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you for your kind messages and I'm sorry to read your experiences here. Life sucks sometimes "

It does but we can only ever move forward. Even if it’s the tiniest of steps.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

I lost my dad just over two years ago to lung cancer, he wasn't even old and I miss him a lot. I hated him as a teenager as was a very angry man quite often at that time, he was grieving his own father who also died quite young though which makes much more sense to me now why he was that way. He mellowed a lot once I got past my teens and we became close and found common interests.

People are always commenting that I smile a lot and always seem to be positive and upbeat, what they don't see is how much pain and upset I'm hiding behind that smile and what I'm like when it's just me on my own with my thoughts

it's also compounded by some decisions my mum has made since losing him that don't sit well with me and have caused us to drift apart rather than come together as the close family we were.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Sometimes a cuddle helps so Im sending you one. All the best OP

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By *un4meanduMan
over a year ago

STOTFOLD

Group hug to all of us who have loved and lost hope you all find a way to keep moving forward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feeling you totally, my mum passed away just over a week ago. Totally lost without her x

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