FabSwingers.com forum: Depression (sorry in advance)

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry to bring the mood down folks,but I've nowhere else to post

I'm really struggling ATM with loneliness and depression

I've lived on my own now for 8 months and I thought it would get easier.

It's not it's getting harder,I'm struggling to keep up the fake smiles

I miss hugs and feeling loved

I just wanna curl up and not wake up

I try my best to be kind to others and help people when I can,but I just keep being let down.

Can't keep doing this,just when I think things are on the up,it only takes something small to send me spiralling again,don't know what I expect from posting here,maybe I just need to vent...sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Venting to the ether is a perfectly acceptable and reasonable thing to do. And posting here also allows us to offer fellowship to remind you that you aren’t alone in experiencing these feelings at times. It is so important to acknowledge your feelings and simply feel them. They are feelings though, they can and do change, so remember that when it’s really tough it’s worth waiting for the next up again, be it seeing a tree blow in the wind as if dancing or a giggle on the phone with a friend or so on.

In more practical terms: Link in with GP and local services and get qualified clinical advice and support, have a buddy (friend or family) and tell them how you're really feeling, lots of fresh air outside, find your particular coping strategies and be conscious of particular triggers for you -- everybody is different -- check out resources on Mind website, be gentle with yourself and be conscious that feelings are just that, not actuality but your current response to your circumstances and can change, talk to people and if you can't talk..be with people, eat well, sleep well, exercise like walking, mindfulness, talking therapies, find your useful "things", but above all else know you are not alone. You really aren't. And being honest about how down you are with others is liberating for them and you. Be buoyed in the knowledge there is support, others will relate and you are very much worthwhile. Hugs.

Samaritans have a helpline you can call anytime. Please use it if you're in crisis.

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By *bi_AstrayTV/TS
over a year ago

Plymouth

Depression sucks, especially when you feel isolated. Whilst you may miss hugs and cuddles, it has to be the right person supplying them. My dog cheered me up more than any human when I was at a low point. Friends who you can talk to are as important as anyone. Seeing a doctor and getting help is also important. Don't suffer in silence or isolation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also recognise (if this is something you do) when you are looking to other people or specific people (especially romantic/sexual) to fix things or fill a void - and when you are playing out your own pain on them rather than addressing it and dealing with it or facing it yourself. We need to heal ourselves and find peace. When we love ourselves and are content with that, we are able to truly connect with others.

I also appreciate I’m likely hugely projecting my own stuff by saying that, but if it’s helpful then so be it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depression sucks, especially when you feel isolated. Whilst you may miss hugs and cuddles, it has to be the right person supplying them. My dog cheered me up more than any human when I was at a low point. Friends who you can talk to are as important as anyone. Seeing a doctor and getting help is also important. Don't suffer in silence or isolation. "

Yes dogs! Always dogs!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Samaritans have a helpline you can call anytime. Please use it if you're in crisis.

wow thank you so much x what a truly wonderful person you are x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a fellow depression sufferer i can relate.

I have just had a bad patch, many reasons of course. I try and keep a positive mental attitude, even if that feels false at the time.

But i know what you mean about missing the hugs, a good long hug solves many things.

Try and stay positive, and if you need to chat please drop me a message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG, OP you are gorgeous.

Damn i hate miles...

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By *bi_AstrayTV/TS
over a year ago

Plymouth

Yes dogs! Always dogs!

Staffies in particular for the mad moments that you just can't help smiling at, and the love they give you back

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

Just keep talking and posting -it's one of the best things you can do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wow thank you so much x what a truly wonderful person you are x"

Thank you, that means a lot - you’re very kind to say that. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to bring the mood down folks,but I've nowhere else to post

I'm really struggling ATM with loneliness and depression

I've lived on my own now for 8 months and I thought it would get easier.

It's not it's getting harder,I'm struggling to keep up the fake smiles

I miss hugs and feeling loved

I just wanna curl up and not wake up

Hey, sorry to hear your situation. This is the male half. I myself am going through a tough so I can relate to tour situation at least to some extent.

Everyone deals with it differently. Some people like to be alone and some like people around them. Do whatever feels good and works for you. Stop me a line if I you want happy to chat x

Best wishes

I try my best to be kind to others and help people when I can,but I just keep being let down.

Can't keep doing this,just when I think things are on the up,it only takes something small to send me spiralling again,don't know what I expect from posting here,maybe I just need to vent...sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

O.P your courage in speaking out is a positive, no need to apologise.. May your melancholy fade soon...and your moccasins walk a good path Xx

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I’m just coming out of depression (don’t speak to soon but I really feel like I am). The cause for me was my relationship but here’s something you can take heart from - counselling helped me see things differently so even though the cause is still the same, it doesn’t affect me the same.

I also had some help from people on here, once there’s someone on your wavelength it’s a lot easier to take the next step.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I left my ex about 9 months ago. A few months back I was having a bit of a hard time with things. So I tried a weird funky spiritual dance ritual thingy with this lovely woman I met. It was just a bit of fun really. But in it I received a powerful message which has personally helped me. It is that my life is undergoing a major transition but that I'm only half way through it and, as such, it all seems totally chaotic. I was told just to be patient and to trust and that everything would eventually realign and I'd end up being in a much better place than I was before. I'd say very much the same is likely true of you. Just be patient. Be kind on yourself. And eventually everything will start slipping nicely into place in a new way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is your happiness based on someone else loving you?

Love yourself.. love who you are and the good amazing things you do

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

OP.

I was in the same situation as you 2 years ago. The first and BEST STEP was to face the fear and tell someone!

You've done that so you càn move forward from here. I did the same as you and spoke out on here; some including a few who have responded already today gave me support.

See your GP; he or she can bring in experts to help you. It's not a journey you do by yourself but instead you can get the support you need.

I'm not saying it will be easy but hopefully you'll get better. I got the support I needed and I'm ok now.

You have us to talk to if you need it.

Good Luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear about this. Depression is a cruel thing and it can strike anyone at anytime. I’ve been battling it on and off since my wife died 21 months ago.

The only advice I can give you is to get help. Your gp can prescribe anti depressants and counselling.

For me I found meditation, running and the gym fantastic therapy.

Keep strong, look after yourself and if you ever want to moan at a complete stranger then please message me x

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

So sorry op

Depression sucks,I've had 2 major episodes after bereavements .

Have you seen your gp ,if not please go they really can help

Talking therapies are good too, in my experience .

Be kind to you,take long baths (maybe when cooler),try and get out for a walk as that helps too.

Friends can be a great support and rant away here all you like .

Hope you start feeling better soon ans know you're not alone or worthless op .Big hugs xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to bring the mood down folks,but I've nowhere else to post

I'm really struggling ATM with loneliness and depression

I've lived on my own now for 8 months and I thought it would get easier.

It's not it's getting harder,I'm struggling to keep up the fake smiles

I miss hugs and feeling loved

I just wanna curl up and not wake up

I try my best to be kind to others and help people when I can,but I just keep being let down.

Can't keep doing this,just when I think things are on the up,it only takes something small to send me spiralling again,don't know what I expect from posting here,maybe I just need to vent...sorry

"
awwww sweety I'm here if ya need me, meet up for coffee soon if you want, we will all keep you busy

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"OMG, OP you are gorgeous.

Damn i hate miles...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMG, OP you are gorgeous.

Damn i hate miles...

I do not have a car.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear you not at your best . I am sure with good friends around you things will improve. Remember that you are you and no matter what else happens you are important

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"OMG, OP you are gorgeous.

Damn i hate miles...

I do not have a car.

Or gumption.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMG, OP you are gorgeous.

Damn i hate miles...

I do not have a car.

Or gumption....."

all out of that, lol.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

[Removed by poster at 07/07/18 19:11:27]

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"[Removed by poster at 07/07/18 19:11:27]"

You were right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op you have taythe first and very big step of admitting your depressed and need help. Reach out to your GP and see what services they can signpost you towards and maybe medication if it’s the right thing for you. I suffer with it and though I make a conscious choice not to go down the medication route I do at times reach out to my friends for a talk. Good friends who listen and don’t judge can be a great help. And as advice before there is also the Samaritans x

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"OMG, OP you are gorgeous.

Damn i hate miles...

I do not have a car.

Or gumption.....

all out of that, lol."

Clearly.

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By *he Secret Tea PartyCouple
over a year ago

London

OP, whatever you do don't face this alone. Do as advised and speak to your GP.

Depression is not a state of mind, it is an illness that needs treating.

Good luck, now that by posting here you have started on the road to recovery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big hugs OP. I have no advice that others haven’t given, but if you ever need a moan, feel free

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By *urveLurverMan
over a year ago

Skyview

Most of the advice on here is good OP.

Another thing to focus on is that this depression will pass. It will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

About 6 to 8 weeks ago i was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and stress. I know id had a problem for some time before. My GP is brilliant and im on medication which has started to help. Im awaiting NHS councelling but thats taking ages and its been a complete mess getting it organised. Luckily my workplace is paying for councelling for me and that started within 2 weeks of asking for it and it really helps.

So id suggest you visit your doc and see what help you can get. Talk to family and friends, iv found great help from mine (although thats mostly hubby and my kids as i only have a few friends....my choice).

Look after yourself, i treat myself as fragile and think of myself as "mending" the same as if id broke a leg etc.

Good luck x

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By *inkerbell67Woman
over a year ago

Clacton on sea essex

Ive battled with depression all my life since a child ,mine is caused by abusive up bringing ,its effected all my relationships but i keep battling with it and determined not to let it beat me ..x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear this and I send you many hugs. Let living alone can make things harder but there are always the better times to look forward to.

I'm sure many of us would be happy to gather round to support and hug you. In reality I hope you find support in others who can be with you and that you have the support you need from the health services.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear OP, there’s nothing worse than feeling you don’t know who you can talk to.

You need to think what is causing you to be depressed...I know you said you’d just love a cuddle but being on here can really bring you down too, when you aren’t feeling great.

This site can be superficial at times, like you are getting on with someone then suddenly they don’t reply as quickly as they used to and then you see them flirting with someone else in the forums, it can really affect you if you are already down.

But it’s also great to make you realise that you aren’t alone.

But if this site adds to you not feeling good then log off and forget about it for a while.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

A piece of advice I was given in similar circumstances; be gentle with yourself.....

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

I hope you can find some time to be kind to yourself as well as to others. Depression is exhausting. You need to take some time to accept that the loneliness is perfectly natural and there is nothing wrong with feeling that way.

I know when I was single my worst times were weekends when the kids were at their dads. I'd feel completely bereft and alone. I'd cram as many meets in as I could, juggling messages and meticulously timetabling meets to fill the time. Then one would cancel and I'd be beside myself... On occasions more than one would cancel and that was just horrible, not a place I'd wish on anyone. I even took to driving myself to IKEA on a Saturday night because they were open late and I'd book kitchen designers to help me with my nonexistent new kitchen, just so I had somebody to talk to.

Understand that those feelings do pass though and things do come full circle. You will find happiness again and, more importantly, you deserve that happiness.

Sending love and positivity your way OP xx

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

Hi , as you can see a lot of people are, know or love someone that has experienced depression, all I can say is the advice that's already been mentioned.

Talk to someone, someone that can see your eyes as you explain how your feeling, if that's a GP even better, there's support or meds if you need it (don't fight taking meds, you'd take an iron tablet if you were anaemic, this is no different)

Or even they could signposts you to local groups that you could join to alleviate the loneliness. Even better get a pet, something that needs you to get up in the morning xx

There's that saying ,this too shall pass, I'm not religious but it's true, look after yourself and seek help where you can xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best thing you did was post here as you can see your not alone lot of us suffer with depression it's best talk on here with family and friends and I find myself going out for long walks help with excerices and fresh air but do go to your GP so they can give you some medical advice . I do find dogs are great therapy as well as there good distract mine loves playing fetch so keeps me occupied also quite comforting some times petting and cuddling him

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you so much to everyone that has posted X I will try to get back to you all individually,your all amazing and I'm really feeling the love X

I took myself off to stay with a friend on the coast yesterday,just for an overnight break,and after a night of drinking cuddles (no sex) and laughter,I feel a lot more positive,and coming online to read the messages from you guys has made me realise I am worth it,and I do deserve to be happy X thank you everyone X love to you all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to bring the mood down folks,but I've nowhere else to post

I'm really struggling ATM with loneliness and depression

I've lived on my own now for 8 months and I thought it would get easier.

It's not it's getting harder,I'm struggling to keep up the fake smiles

I miss hugs and feeling loved

I just wanna curl up and not wake up

I try my best to be kind to others and help people when I can,but I just keep being let down.

Can't keep doing this,just when I think things are on the up,it only takes something small to send me spiralling again,don't know what I expect from posting here,maybe I just need to vent...sorry

Here’s a virtual hug from me!

Keep positive.. stay smiling

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"Thank you so much to everyone that has posted X I will try to get back to you all individually,your all amazing and I'm really feeling the love X

That’s great, you can see that things can change and moods can lift. Don’t think that you’re trapped by depression but also don’t give yourself a hard time - you’re going through a tough time and it’s ok to be sad and upset.

Counselling worked for me, medication works for others but there’s no simple fix, just take your time, find all the help you can and give it time.

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By *issminxandmrcCouple
over a year ago

Rotherham

Hi sweetheart ~ xx

I too suffer with depression & have done so on/off since the birth of my 2nd son in 1997.

I'm still on medication (when I remember to take it) which is the worse thing I ever could do,should take it everyday and as I tend to feel wayyy better when I do x

Share your feeling and talk to ppl about how you feel (it helps 100%) and know the fact that "you are never alone"

when we are ALL here for ya babes!!

Love Jules x

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By *issminxandmrcCouple
over a year ago

Rotherham

"Best thing you did was post here as you can see your not alone lot of us suffer with depression it's best talk on here with family and friends and I find myself going out for long walks help with excerices and fresh air but do go to your GP so they can give you some medical advice . I do find dogs are great therapy as well as there good distract mine loves playing fetch so keeps me occupied also quite comforting some times petting and cuddling him "

true!! We walk our 3 dogs and I always feel better when I get back in.

I had some professional help and that did work,chatting to experts that then "reassure " you that YOU are not actually going mental and ARE NOWAY alone (millions of ppl suffer with depression). Getting help and talking about how you feel and yes!! getting out of the house for me works wonders x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP,

I’m really glad you’re feeling a lot more positive today and I hope you take on board some of the excellent advice already given should you need it in future.

And feel free to rant to any of us if you need it too.

Hugs xxxx

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By *essons in LustCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

You are def not alone xx

Since I hit 47

I was in a really dark place ,

Changing hormones or just a long hard look at life , and most likely both but since last September until mid June ( and still some days ) , I felt like I’d been hit like a truck .

From bubbly , horny , strong and confident to someone entirely different

I feel you , I really do .

The only real things that helped me at all were

long walks / exercise ( in nature and not really in the gym) ,

nurturing healthy food

Nurturing others

Cbd ( hemp ) oil and a ‘ herbal ‘ vape .

Being kind to myself seemed hard and liking myself physically was impossible but that’s what we need to do .

It was always nice to chat with one or two real friends who love you for who you are and who can see your qualities when all you feel is pain.

To be with people who lift you up instead of it always being you doing the lifting .

I still have hard days but I try not to give my negative thoughts any power and it helps not to compare yourself to others .

I can feel the old me in there and I’m hoping to fully return , but baby steps for now are good .

Someone mentioned earlier about not being on here when you are so low and I think they are right ( regarding meets / messages )

although the people in this forum and in this thread seem very lovely indeed x

Not that it is the most important thing on the world , but you are very beautiful and also you’re very strong in allowing your vulnerability to show and ask for help .

That is something I struggled with but I’m getting better at .

Hope you feel better soon and take each day / hour as it comes xxx

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