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Face pics on demand

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I find this an interesting topic...there is no wrong answer really.

I understand how overwhelmed women and couples get by messages, and that by asking for a face pic in a first message they feel it narrows down the selection, which is completely understandable.

I also think it narrows down who will get in touch at all. The field is narrowed by choosing a face pic they like, which absolutely makes sense (it’s vital) but the field is already narrowed as they only get messages from those who are happy to spread their face all over a sex site just to get response. Anyone with a bit about them has no interest I meeting 20 demands. I see a lot of profiles saying face pic or no reply, then complaining about their inbox...It’s a catch 22 I reckon, you narrow it down like that for a good reason, but you lose out aswell.

So is it actually a good thing to do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

What do you suggest, OP?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What do you suggest, OP?"

No suggestion tbh, just saying that while asking for that narrows down what people are looking for, they maybe don’t realise that they have cut out what they are actually looking for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you suggest, OP?

No suggestion tbh, just saying that while asking for that narrows down what people are looking for, they maybe don’t realise that they have cut out what they are actually looking for "

Surely that would be their concern would it Not? Personally I have no issues at all with sending a face pic. I've nothing to hide and it's nice to see who your actually talking to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this an interesting topic...there is no wrong answer really.

I understand how overwhelmed women and couples get by messages, and that by asking for a face pic in a first message they feel it narrows down the selection, which is completely understandable.

I also think it narrows down who will get in touch at all. The field is narrowed by choosing a face pic they like, which absolutely makes sense (it’s vital) but the field is already narrowed as they only get messages from those who are happy to spread their face all over a sex site just to get response. Anyone with a bit about them has no interest I meeting 20 demands. I see a lot of profiles saying face pic or no reply, then complaining about their inbox...It’s a catch 22 I reckon, you narrow it down like that for a good reason, but you lose out aswell.

So is it actually a good thing to do? "
would you want to have sex with someone you ain't seen ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this an interesting topic...there is no wrong answer really.

I understand how overwhelmed women and couples get by messages, and that by asking for a face pic in a first message they feel it narrows down the selection, which is completely understandable.

I also think it narrows down who will get in touch at all. The field is narrowed by choosing a face pic they like, which absolutely makes sense (it’s vital) but the field is already narrowed as they only get messages from those who are happy to spread their face all over a sex site just to get response. Anyone with a bit about them has no interest I meeting 20 demands. I see a lot of profiles saying face pic or no reply, then complaining about their inbox...It’s a catch 22 I reckon, you narrow it down like that for a good reason, but you lose out aswell.

So is it actually a good thing to do? would you want to have sex with someone you ain't seen ? "

A lot of the guys on here would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this an interesting topic...there is no wrong answer really.

I understand how overwhelmed women and couples get by messages, and that by asking for a face pic in a first message they feel it narrows down the selection, which is completely understandable.

I also think it narrows down who will get in touch at all. The field is narrowed by choosing a face pic they like, which absolutely makes sense (it’s vital) but the field is already narrowed as they only get messages from those who are happy to spread their face all over a sex site just to get response. Anyone with a bit about them has no interest I meeting 20 demands. I see a lot of profiles saying face pic or no reply, then complaining about their inbox...It’s a catch 22 I reckon, you narrow it down like that for a good reason, but you lose out aswell.

So is it actually a good thing to do? would you want to have sex with someone you ain't seen ?

A lot of the guys on here would "
Your not wrong mate

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Missing the point... asking that for a face pic in 1st message obviously helps rule out people but they are not getting messages by a lot of people who dont want to do that, or don’t feel the need to. So it’s clearly narrowing it down but is it meaning they stop a lot of people messaging in the first place?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Missing the point... asking that for a face pic in 1st message obviously helps rule out people but they are not getting messages by a lot of people who dont want to do that, or don’t feel the need to. So it’s clearly narrowing it down but is it meaning they stop a lot of people messaging in the first place? "

Well if they don't want to then they're in the wrong place. Ok so They don't feel the need to send one, but What if someone feels the need to ask for one, Or is that not allowed. If you aren't prepared to send a face pic then why even be on here in the first place? Pointless activity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Missing the point... asking that for a face pic in 1st message obviously helps rule out people but they are not getting messages by a lot of people who dont want to do that, or don’t feel the need to. So it’s clearly narrowing it down but is it meaning they stop a lot of people messaging in the first place?

Well if they don't want to then they're in the wrong place. Ok so They don't feel the need to send one, but What if someone feels the need to ask for one, Or is that not allowed. If you aren't prepared to send a face pic then why even be on here in the first place? Pointless activity "

And narrowing it down Yes, sifting out the shifty ones with something to hide

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Missing the point... asking that for a face pic in 1st message obviously helps rule out people but they are not getting messages by a lot of people who dont want to do that, or don’t feel the need to. So it’s clearly narrowing it down but is it meaning they stop a lot of people messaging in the first place?

Well if they don't want to then they're in the wrong place. Ok so They don't feel the need to send one, but What if someone feels the need to ask for one, Or is that not allowed. If you aren't prepared to send a face pic then why even be on here in the first place? Pointless activity "

Not what I’m saying. People ask for a face pic to start so they can choose who they like but they are not actually getting to choose from everyone, or the best looking, as those people have no interest or need to do that. Basically they think they’re being self-raising be but they’re actually just narrowing it down to the desperados

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/07/18 03:33:55]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Missing the point... asking that for a face pic in 1st message obviously helps rule out people but they are not getting messages by a lot of people who dont want to do that, or don’t feel the need to. So it’s clearly narrowing it down but is it meaning they stop a lot of people messaging in the first place?

Well if they don't want to then they're in the wrong place. Ok so They don't feel the need to send one, but What if someone feels the need to ask for one, Or is that not allowed. If you aren't prepared to send a face pic then why even be on here in the first place? Pointless activity

And narrowing it down Yes, sifting out the shifty ones with something to hide "

Not shifty folk, the majority of people enjoy fab as a private part of their life, hence why profiles don’t have face pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Missing the point... asking that for a face pic in 1st message obviously helps rule out people but they are not getting messages by a lot of people who dont want to do that, or don’t feel the need to. So it’s clearly narrowing it down but is it meaning they stop a lot of people messaging in the first place?

Well if they don't want to then they're in the wrong place. Ok so They don't feel the need to send one, but What if someone feels the need to ask for one, Or is that not allowed. If you aren't prepared to send a face pic then why even be on here in the first place? Pointless activity

Not what I’m saying. People ask for a face pic to start so they can choose who they like but they are not actually getting to choose from everyone, or the best looking, as those people have no interest or need to do that. Basically they think they’re being self-raising be but they’re actually just narrowing it down to the desperados"

So your desperate if you send a face pic? Oh dear.

It helps them avoid people like yourself, you know the ones that refuse to send one then come on the forum and complain about it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Missing the point... asking that for a face pic in 1st message obviously helps rule out people but they are not getting messages by a lot of people who dont want to do that, or don’t feel the need to. So it’s clearly narrowing it down but is it meaning they stop a lot of people messaging in the first place?

Well if they don't want to then they're in the wrong place. Ok so They don't feel the need to send one, but What if someone feels the need to ask for one, Or is that not allowed. If you aren't prepared to send a face pic then why even be on here in the first place? Pointless activity

Not what I’m saying. People ask for a face pic to start so they can choose who they like but they are not actually getting to choose from everyone, or the best looking, as those people have no interest or need to do that. Basically they think they’re being self-raising be but they’re actually just narrowing it down to the desperados

So your desperate if you send a face pic? Oh dear.

It helps them avoid people like yourself, you know the ones that refuse to send one then come on the forum and complain about it"

Nope, very badly worded, mean they only get messages from people that are happy to send face pics to each and every person on a sex site, that narrows it down a lot. No need to get testy, appreciate I didn’t put it right though.

I’m not complaining, I was asking for thoughts on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Missing the point... asking that for a face pic in 1st message obviously helps rule out people but they are not getting messages by a lot of people who dont want to do that, or don’t feel the need to. So it’s clearly narrowing it down but is it meaning they stop a lot of people messaging in the first place?

Well if they don't want to then they're in the wrong place. Ok so They don't feel the need to send one, but What if someone feels the need to ask for one, Or is that not allowed. If you aren't prepared to send a face pic then why even be on here in the first place? Pointless activity

Not what I’m saying. People ask for a face pic to start so they can choose who they like but they are not actually getting to choose from everyone, or the best looking, as those people have no interest or need to do that. Basically they think they’re being self-raising be but they’re actually just narrowing it down to the desperados

So your desperate if you send a face pic? Oh dear.

It helps them avoid people like yourself, you know the ones that refuse to send one then come on the forum and complain about it

Nope, very badly worded, mean they only get messages from people that are happy to send face pics to each and every person on a sex site, that narrows it down a lot. No need to get testy, appreciate I didn’t put it right though.

I’m not complaining, I was asking for thoughts on it

"

To be fair your on the same sex site that you have called people desperate on

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok that was a bad way to put it, I accept that, sounded dickish. The whole point is doing that narrows down things for people that are overloaded with messages but does it mean those people only get messages from a group of people that are willing to do that? ie are they not getting messages from who they want by doing so.

Appreciate the input but you’re really not the audience that an answer matters from as you and I are not those people. Not an insult at all, but the question is for those that do that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok that was a bad way to put it, I accept that, sounded dickish. The whole point is doing that narrows down things for people that are overloaded with messages but does it mean those people only get messages from a group of people that are willing to do that? ie are they not getting messages from who they want by doing so.

Appreciate the input but you’re really not the audience that an answer matters from as you and I are not those people. Not an insult at all, but the question is for those that do that "

And how do you know that I don't do that? You really shouldn't label people without knowing them

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ok that was a bad way to put it, I accept that, sounded dickish. The whole point is doing that narrows down things for people that are overloaded with messages but does it mean those people only get messages from a group of people that are willing to do that? ie are they not getting messages from who they want by doing so.

Appreciate the input but you’re really not the audience that an answer matters from as you and I are not those people. Not an insult at all, but the question is for those that do that

And how do you know that I don't do that? You really shouldn't label people without knowing them"

I just posted looking for people in that situation to comment, which isn’t you, or me hence why I’m asking, at all so not sure where the offence comes from. The desperado comment was wrong, your absolutely right there, a dickish thing to say and not what I meant, but fair enough as it looks shitty, so apologies. You’re jumping all over it and me but, give us a break and hopefully a bit of insight will come our way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok that was a bad way to put it, I accept that, sounded dickish. The whole point is doing that narrows down things for people that are overloaded with messages but does it mean those people only get messages from a group of people that are willing to do that? ie are they not getting messages from who they want by doing so.

Appreciate the input but you’re really not the audience that an answer matters from as you and I are not those people. Not an insult at all, but the question is for those that do that

And how do you know that I don't do that? You really shouldn't label people without knowing them

I just posted looking for people in that situation to comment, which isn’t you, or me hence why I’m asking, at all so not sure where the offence comes from. The desperado comment was wrong, your absolutely right there, a dickish thing to say and not what I meant, but fair enough as it looks shitty, so apologies. You’re jumping all over it and me but, give us a break and hopefully a bit of insight will come our way. "

We don't need insight. It's their decision and they don't have to explain themselves to anyone

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ok that was a bad way to put it, I accept that, sounded dickish. The whole point is doing that narrows down things for people that are overloaded with messages but does it mean those people only get messages from a group of people that are willing to do that? ie are they not getting messages from who they want by doing so.

Appreciate the input but you’re really not the audience that an answer matters from as you and I are not those people. Not an insult at all, but the question is for those that do that

And how do you know that I don't do that? You really shouldn't label people without knowing them

I just posted looking for people in that situation to comment, which isn’t you, or me hence why I’m asking, at all so not sure where the offence comes from. The desperado comment was wrong, your absolutely right there, a dickish thing to say and not what I meant, but fair enough as it looks shitty, so apologies. You’re jumping all over it and me but, give us a break and hopefully a bit of insight will come our way.

We don't need insight. It's their decision and they don't have to explain themselves to anyone"

It’s a forum, was asking for insight off people in that position, not someone with no idea of that position, like me or you.

Chill out mate, I’m literally just asking a question that I’m interested in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well have a read through because there's guys constantly asking the same question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And again, how do you know I'm not in that position???

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Are you in that position? All I can go on is you’re giving me a lot of grief from a single guy profile...regardless, give us a break

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you in that position? All I can go on is you’re giving me a lot of grief from a single guy profile...regardless, give us a break "

Give you a break? You come on here and start to call people that are on this site desperate, because they choose to share what they look like, sorry how did you expect me to react? Maybe you should go into the face pic Friday thread and let everyone there know that they are desperate!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are you in that position? All I can go on is you’re giving me a lot of grief from a single guy profile...regardless, give us a break

Give you a break? You come on here and start to call people that are on this site desperate, because they choose to share what they look like, sorry how did you expect me to react? Maybe you should go into the face pic Friday thread and let everyone there know that they are desperate!!!!"

Basically you’re not in any way in the position to answer the question i asked then..

You’re only offended if you want to be and that’s what you’re doing. Cheer up pal, dry your eyes, was posting for a chat and got you. Bye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, there is no way I would ever consider playing with someone I have never met... and won’t go on a social with people that haven’t sent me a pic.

Why waste both our times.... it’s hard enough getting a pic and then going to a social and guy looking nothing like pic. (Which I’m sure happens other way round too)

Some people don’t care, and happy to play with anyone.

Some people can only play with those they have a physical and mental connection with. - I am one of those people.

If I’m not attracted to you then it’s a wasted meet, and now days I make them come to a place near me as fed up driving miles for a wasted meet.

People who have nothing to hide, are open and honest are people I want to meet. Not people who are scared to send face pics.

Would you go to a club and walk round with a mask on? Not let people see your face?

You stick to what your doing... as I’m sure it’s working for you and your getting meets.

And people that want face pics first will keep doing what their doing as it works for them.

Don’t critise people for their choices. We are all different and are looking for different things.

Happy fabbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you in that position? All I can go on is you’re giving me a lot of grief from a single guy profile...regardless, give us a break

Give you a break? You come on here and start to call people that are on this site desperate, because they choose to share what they look like, sorry how did you expect me to react? Maybe you should go into the face pic Friday thread and let everyone there know that they are desperate!!!!

Basically you’re not in any way in the position to answer the question i asked then..

You’re only offended if you want to be and that’s what you’re doing. Cheer up pal, dry your eyes, was posting for a chat and got you. Bye "

Offended ok flower, if it makes you happy yeah you got me big time. Well done You

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For me, there is no way I would ever consider playing with someone I have never met... and won’t go on a social with people that haven’t sent me a pic.

Why waste both our times.... it’s hard enough getting a pic and then going to a social and guy looking nothing like pic. (Which I’m sure happens other way round too)

Some people don’t care, and happy to play with anyone.

Some people can only play with those they have a physical and mental connection with. - I am one of those people.

If I’m not attracted to you then it’s a wasted meet, and now days I make them come to a place near me as fed up driving miles for a wasted meet.

People who have nothing to hide, are open and honest are people I want to meet. Not people who are scared to send face pics.

Would you go to a club and walk round with a mask on? Not let people see your face?

You stick to what your doing... as I’m sure it’s working for you and your getting meets.

And people that want face pics first will keep doing what their doing as it works for them.

Don’t critise people for their choices. We are all different and are looking for different things.

Happy fabbing

"

Not what I was saying...

A lot of people ask for a face pic with intro, generally the best looking ppl tbh. A lot of ppl won’t do that, don’t need to. so the ppl that demand it won’t ever hear from them. Asking if those that ask for it maybe do t get messages from who they are actually looking for, as those ppl won’t want to message.

Topic has been lost big time

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

We like to exchange face pics at an early stage to see if there is any mutual attraction. Hubby and myself met on a blind date and I’ve been lumbered with him for 27 years now. We want to see what we’re letting ourselves in for in future!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We like to exchange face pics at an early stage to see if there is any mutual attraction. Hubby and myself met on a blind date and I’ve been lumbered with him for 27 years now. We want to see what we’re letting ourselves in for in future! "

Face pics early is an essential for me too. Asking for it with a first message before anything puts a lot of ppl off though, but can understand why they ask. Catch 22

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As said people have the right to use fab however they see fit... if what they are ‘demanding’ is not for you move onto next profile. Easy peasy.

I’m sure those asking for face pics in first message don’t feel they being deprived the ‘best’ people... I know I’m happy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/07/18 05:57:17]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As said people have the right to use fab however they see fit... if what they are ‘demanding’ is not for you move onto next profile. Easy peasy.

I’m sure those asking for face pics in first message don’t feel they being deprived the ‘best’ people... I know I’m happy "

It was just a question...

Just interested to know. I’m guessing it is easier and folk get what they want from it but do they think it also cuts down who they actually get messages from

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As said people have the right to use fab however they see fit... if what they are ‘demanding’ is not for you move onto next profile. Easy peasy.

I’m sure those asking for face pics in first message don’t feel they being deprived the ‘best’ people... I know I’m happy "
you didn't even have to ask haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get what you’re saying OP.

If we see a profile that says they want a face pic with the first message, we don’t bother, although often it’s accompanied by a long list of dos and donts. We’re after swinging, not applying for MI5.

We’ve also had messages off the same profiles but they never send out a face pick with the first message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We like to exchange face pics at an early stage to see if there is any mutual attraction. Hubby and myself met on a blind date and I’ve been lumbered with him for 27 years now. We want to see what we’re letting ourselves in for in future!

Face pics early is an essential for me too. Asking for it with a first message before anything puts a lot of ppl off though, but can understand why they ask. Catch 22"

Feels like you have contradicted yourself.

If you agree you like to send pics early.. what’s the difference it being first message or 2nd or 3rd??? Confused.

Let’s leave it at that!

As said different things for different people and don’t moan about people differences

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m really confused Op...

If people state they want a face pic with first message.....

How could they be missing out ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a great way to filter people, yes there maybe some great people you miss out because they don't send a picture

But you get a lot of people who message anyway without I gliding a picture, which shows either they haven't read or have chosen to ignore that bit, so instant delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have as a couple has changed the way we swing. We rarely meet another couple now. It's her that meets and I watch, film or not even be there. We never get asked for a face picture of her..never.

The other day a couple contacted us with a message that simply said, Hi could you send us some face pics.probably because they wanted to see what I looked like(Mr)...We do not have a problem sending them out even of me lol.. but we would like a little bit of chatting first just to check each other out, there is a load of fake accounts on here, they were not verified too...I said we do not instantly send them out with the first message..they instantly blocked us..its always a tricky one the face pic dilema..some are happy to send them, some like us a little warier, depends on your own privacy values, I would recommend never to send out a fully naked pic with face on show though.. ever.. some knobhead could just post it on facebook or xhamster and the like for all your family and friends and workmates to see ..Best thing to do is, do what works for you and don't worry about others or knockbacks because of not sending a face pic instantly

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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago

swingers clubs

We dont chat. Therefore we need to pics to know if it's worth arranging something.

We're cool with a message without pics which says the profile owner/s will be at a club or event which we're going to. I mean we might not recognise one another without pics but since we'll all be there anyway neither profile is making arrangements solely for the other.

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"As said people have the right to use fab however they see fit... if what they are ‘demanding’ is not for you move onto next profile. Easy peasy.

I’m sure those asking for face pics in first message don’t feel they being deprived the ‘best’ people... I know I’m happy

It was just a question...

Just interested to know. I’m guessing it is easier and folk get what they want from it but do they think it also cuts down who they actually get messages from "

I understand what you're saying, but it isn't an issue about trawling for the best or 'best looking' people as you put it, people make a selection from the pool of people who meet their superficial requirements, which is a reflection on real life..we develop relationships on a range of influences and only the dysfunctional spend time worrying about whether someone better's out there once the choice has been made, it could result in a lifetime of disappointment!

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By *iger.10Man
over a year ago

Llantrisant


"I get what you’re saying OP.

If we see a profile that says they want a face pic with the first message, we don’t bother, although often it’s accompanied by a long list of dos and donts. We’re after swinging, not applying for MI5.

We’ve also had messages off the same profiles but they never send out a face pick with the first message."

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

People have expectations. You can indulge them or not and your decision affects their decision. It’s like a silent tango.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get what you’re saying OP.

If we see a profile that says they want a face pic with the first message, we don’t bother, although often it’s accompanied by a long list of dos and donts. We’re after swinging, not applying for MI5.

We’ve also had messages off the same profiles but they never send out a face pick with the first message."

Couldn’t agree more x

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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago

Cardiff

I don't want to waste my (and their) time getting to know someone just to find out I have no sexual attraction to them when they finally send a face pic.

If they don't send a face pic with their first message it tells me that they couldn't be bothered to read my profile, they more than likely have missed out other things from the text too, they don't actually give a damn about what I want.

These are not people I want to meet, so I'm not missing out, it's actually a great filter for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Missing the point... asking that for a face pic in 1st message obviously helps rule out people but they are not getting messages by a lot of people who dont want to do that, or don’t feel the need to. So it’s clearly narrowing it down but is it meaning they stop a lot of people messaging in the first place?

Well if they don't want to then they're in the wrong place. Ok so They don't feel the need to send one, but What if someone feels the need to ask for one, Or is that not allowed. If you aren't prepared to send a face pic then why even be on here in the first place? Pointless activity

And narrowing it down Yes, sifting out the shifty ones with something to hide

Not shifty folk, the majority of people enjoy fab as a private part of their life, hence why profiles don’t have face pics "

I wouldnt share a face pic with someone on the first message either. Tend to send a few messages back and forth first to see if I think we'd even get on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We ask for pics if we are interested to meet people after a few messages. There is the tall dark and handsome thing (er, that's just me, not hubby)to check it's worth pursuing so we don't waste folks time, but our primary reason is to be assured that we are not making arrangements with someone we have met in professional life. Six degrees of separation and all that....

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

There's a local guy who 'ticks all of my boxes' being tall and able to accommodate etc. We exchanged a couple of messages then I asked for a face pic which he refused so I simply told him I wasn't prepared to chat further until I'd seen a one. As others have said I feel it's a waste of time.

He was quite pushy in his next few messages saying that we should meet, I wouldn't be disappointed and that he couldn't send a face pic due to his job. I repeated myself, then ignored him.

Do I feel like I've missed out on someone who might be amazing? Maybe I did for a couple of minutes!! But then again he might not of been my type anyway......next!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If they don't send a face pic with their first message it tells me that they couldn't be bothered to read my profile, they more than likely have missed out other things from the text too, they don't actually give a damn about what I want.

"

This isn’t a dig at you, so please don’t take it personally. However, for me this is where swinging often falls down. You say '..they don’t actually give a damn about what I want.'

To us, swinging is about mutual pleasure and everyone getting what they want. On the way home one of us will often ask, do you think the other couple enjoyed it. It’s important to us that they did.

However, there seems to be far to often an attitude of 'this is our rules and you either like it or fuck off'. No concern for the others. Now I’m not saying anyone should do anything they don’t want, but also we find the rigidity of some really off putting.

Profiles where they are like this often have a status a few weeks bemoaning lack of meets, saying the site is shit or that there’s too many time wasters. No, they’re just people who don’t wish to jump through your hoops.

As I said, that wasn’t a dig at you as I think you mean something slightly different.

Also sorry for going off on a garbled tangent!

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

[Removed by poster at 06/07/18 08:45:56]

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales


"

If they don't send a face pic with their first message it tells me that they couldn't be bothered to read my profile, they more than likely have missed out other things from the text too, they don't actually give a damn about what I want.

This isn’t a dig at you, so please don’t take it personally. However, for me this is where swinging often falls down. You say '..they don’t actually give a damn about what I want.'

To us, swinging is about mutual pleasure and everyone getting what they want. On the way home one of us will often ask, do you think the other couple enjoyed it. It’s important to us that they did.

However, there seems to be far to often an attitude of 'this is our rules and you either like it or fuck off'. No concern for the others. Now I’m not saying anyone should do anything they don’t want, but also we find the rigidity of some really off putting.

Profiles where they are like this often have a status a few weeks bemoaning lack of meets, saying the site is shit or that there’s too many time wasters. No, they’re just people who don’t wish to jump through your hoops.

As I said, that wasn’t a dig at you as I think you mean something slightly different.

Also sorry for going off on a garbled tangent!

"

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"There's a local guy who 'ticks all of my boxes' being tall and able to accommodate etc. We exchanged a couple of messages then I asked for a face pic which he refused so I simply told him I wasn't prepared to chat further until I'd seen a one. As others have said I feel it's a waste of time.

He was quite pushy in his next few messages saying that we should meet, I wouldn't be disappointed and that he couldn't send a face pic due to his job. I repeated myself, then ignored him.

Do I feel like I've missed out on someone who might be amazing? Maybe I did for a couple of minutes!! But then again he might not of been my type anyway......next!!!!"

I've had this in the past,one even said "why do you need my face for a social meet?" ....

I don't demand a face pic 1st meet ,but will want to swap early on to save either of us wasting time .

I think if someone really wants to contact you ,they will and won't mind adding a face pic .

If I message 1st I have no problem attaching one.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

I always ask for a name and a face. This is how civilised people introduce themselves.

And yes, it narrows it down. Unfortunately not enough.

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London


"What do you suggest, OP?"

Dick Pick of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ask for a face pick specifically because I dont want to choose from the whole site. I prefer a method of natural selection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we talk to everyone in here without seeing pictures (forums or chat) but won’t meet until we’ve seen who we’re talking to, we do always send a pic back or have looked at our potential meets faces on cams so we know they’re real! How can you arrange a meet day at a pub if you don’t know what they look like! It’s not blind date lol ! I can’t see the problem seeing as you have the auto remove on pictures once the pics been seen

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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago

Cardiff


"

If they don't send a face pic with their first message it tells me that they couldn't be bothered to read my profile, they more than likely have missed out other things from the text too, they don't actually give a damn about what I want.

This isn’t a dig at you, so please don’t take it personally. However, for me this is where swinging often falls down. You say '..they don’t actually give a damn about what I want.'

To us, swinging is about mutual pleasure and everyone getting what they want. On the way home one of us will often ask, do you think the other couple enjoyed it. It’s important to us that they did.

However, there seems to be far to often an attitude of 'this is our rules and you either like it or fuck off'. No concern for the others. Now I’m not saying anyone should do anything they don’t want, but also we find the rigidity of some really off putting.

Profiles where they are like this often have a status a few weeks bemoaning lack of meets, saying the site is shit or that there’s too many time wasters. No, they’re just people who don’t wish to jump through your hoops.

As I said, that wasn’t a dig at you as I think you mean something slightly different.

Also sorry for going off on a garbled tangent!

"

There's quiet a bit in my profile text, I'll admit maybe too much for some to be able to make it all the way through, but twice I say about a face pic, once right at the start, and that I won't reply without one, the second time explains why. Now, if a guy can't read and respect that, he's not the type of guy I want to meet. Plus there are other things in my profile that are actually quite important, especially since some guys still just see "TV" and think no further

I don't get many meets on here, and that's fine, I've got stuff to do. I can understand why people moan, I used to put up statuses along the lines of "If you want a response maybe bother reading through my profile first..." But if they can't be bothered to read it in the first place a status that needs to be read isn't going to help... Plus I used to just get guys moaning about my status so I stopped.

I get what you're saying, I know it's not a dig but I will be sticking to my one rule, I don't see why I should waste my time, or put my own please/wants/needs second place, because Mr Anonymous/Mr Ashamed/Mr Desperate because no women will reply to him shows some interest in fucking me when they don't give a damn about the one thing I have asked to try to stop people's time from being wasted (as in chat, chat, chat, can I have a photo please? Oh, sorry, you're not for me even though we have both spent time chatting thinking this might go somewhere, sorry for wasting your time when a photo at the start would have finished this after 1 message).

Like I said, I get it's not a dig, I'm just further explaining just in case there is someone reading who would like to understand more about why I, and probably many others, do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If they don't send a face pic with their first message it tells me that they couldn't be bothered to read my profile, they more than likely have missed out other things from the text too, they don't actually give a damn about what I want.

This isn’t a dig at you, so please don’t take it personally. However, for me this is where swinging often falls down. You say '..they don’t actually give a damn about what I want.'

To us, swinging is about mutual pleasure and everyone getting what they want. On the way home one of us will often ask, do you think the other couple enjoyed it. It’s important to us that they did.

However, there seems to be far to often an attitude of 'this is our rules and you either like it or fuck off'. No concern for the others. Now I’m not saying anyone should do anything they don’t want, but also we find the rigidity of some really off putting.

Profiles where they are like this often have a status a few weeks bemoaning lack of meets, saying the site is shit or that there’s too many time wasters. No, they’re just people who don’t wish to jump through your hoops.

As I said, that wasn’t a dig at you as I think you mean something slightly different.

Also sorry for going off on a garbled tangent!

There's quiet a bit in my profile text, I'll admit maybe too much for some to be able to make it all the way through, but twice I say about a face pic, once right at the start, and that I won't reply without one, the second time explains why. Now, if a guy can't read and respect that, he's not the type of guy I want to meet. Plus there are other things in my profile that are actually quite important, especially since some guys still just see "TV" and think no further

I don't get many meets on here, and that's fine, I've got stuff to do. I can understand why people moan, I used to put up statuses along the lines of "If you want a response maybe bother reading through my profile first..." But if they can't be bothered to read it in the first place a status that needs to be read isn't going to help... Plus I used to just get guys moaning about my status so I stopped.

I get what you're saying, I know it's not a dig but I will be sticking to my one rule, I don't see why I should waste my time, or put my own please/wants/needs second place, because Mr Anonymous/Mr Ashamed/Mr Desperate because no women will reply to him shows some interest in fucking me when they don't give a damn about the one thing I have asked to try to stop people's time from being wasted (as in chat, chat, chat, can I have a photo please? Oh, sorry, you're not for me even though we have both spent time chatting thinking this might go somewhere, sorry for wasting your time when a photo at the start would have finished this after 1 message).

Like I said, I get it's not a dig, I'm just further explaining just in case there is someone reading who would like to understand more about why I, and probably many others, do it "

if they want a meet they should show their face - simple! If someone talks to us we normally look at their status see if they want to meet before replying, if we can’t meet we just say so instead of talking bolox for ages. They are probably like us - we don’t get a lot of free time to meet so what time we do get don’t want to waste it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love a face pic but understand why people don't unless asked for one ect

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m really confused Op...

If people state they want a face pic with first message.....

How could they be missing out ?

"

As a lot of people won’t bother getting in contact at all if that’s asked for...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

As I said before, not questioning anyone that asks for a face pic, understand it narrows things down. Just interested if people think it narrows down who gets in contact at all. Let’s face it, certain profiles will have everyone in contact regardless, a lot of folk complain about who gets in touch though, you often see status updates saying so, and was keen to see what folk thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it also depends on what sort of fab account it is too, regarding sending instant face pics..Us as a couple of a certain age have grown up children and grandchildren..we would not want any face pics we send out associated with our swinging lifestyle, so we have to chat a while to gain a bit of trust with then..now if you are a young lad or even young female on here you may have a different attitude towards sending face pics out or on show on a profile, maybe a bit more carefree. Some of us can not afford to be so..Just stick to ones own preferences regarding sending instant face pics out..if you don't you don't.. if you do you do ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you in that position? All I can go on is you’re giving me a lot of grief from a single guy profile...regardless, give us a break

Give you a break? You come on here and start to call people that are on this site desperate, because they choose to share what they look like, sorry how did you expect me to react? Maybe you should go into the face pic Friday thread and let everyone there know that they are desperate!!!!"

I share what I look like because I’m fucking glorious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this an interesting topic...there is no wrong answer really.

I understand how overwhelmed women and couples get by messages, and that by asking for a face pic in a first message they feel it narrows down the selection, which is completely understandable.

I also think it narrows down who will get in touch at all. The field is narrowed by choosing a face pic they like, which absolutely makes sense (it’s vital) but the field is already narrowed as they only get messages from those who are happy to spread their face all over a sex site just to get response. Anyone with a bit about them has no interest I meeting 20 demands. I see a lot of profiles saying face pic or no reply, then complaining about their inbox...It’s a catch 22 I reckon, you narrow it down like that for a good reason, but you lose out aswell.

So is it actually a good thing to do? "
I like to see who I'm talking to, I've wasted time in past where women wouldn't show and chatted for ages and even met a couple without pics only to find they wernt my type and even though I've sent my pics I haven't been theirs either, we all have different taste you can't appeal to everyone and whether you are used to it or not it does grate when they don't appeal or you to them, so if you like that person even from early on show your face, you walk around everyday with it its no big deal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this an interesting topic...there is no wrong answer really.

I understand how overwhelmed women and couples get by messages, and that by asking for a face pic in a first message they feel it narrows down the selection, which is completely understandable.

I also think it narrows down who will get in touch at all. The field is narrowed by choosing a face pic they like, which absolutely makes sense (it’s vital) but the field is already narrowed as they only get messages from those who are happy to spread their face all over a sex site just to get response. Anyone with a bit about them has no interest I meeting 20 demands. I see a lot of profiles saying face pic or no reply, then complaining about their inbox...It’s a catch 22 I reckon, you narrow it down like that for a good reason, but you lose out aswell.

So is it actually a good thing to do? "

I would say we go for an easy life on Fab. On the rare occasions that we are actively looking for private meets with someone new we have found it fairly straightforward to find suitable guys who we know what they look like. Of course we are fishing in a slightly smaller fishpond, but I think if we were to expand the size of our fishpond that would over complicate things. If we struggled to find what we wanted on the swing scene then of course we would have to be more open minded.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Missing the point... asking that for a face pic in 1st message obviously helps rule out people but they are not getting messages by a lot of people who dont want to do that, or don’t feel the need to. So it’s clearly narrowing it down but is it meaning they stop a lot of people messaging in the first place? "

Not everyone reads profiles, so I'm guessing it wouldn't narrow down the messaging pool exponentially.

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

I always send a face pic so people can see you they are talking to and I ask for one back so I can see who I’m talking to.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Very valid point Mystiquexx and actually what I was asking about!

I understand everyone’s reasons for asking for it, doing it or not. They’re all valid and easy to understand really. I was asking if people think it narrows down who gets in touch at all folks...

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim


"Very valid point Mystiquexx and actually what I was asking about!

I understand everyone’s reasons for asking for it, doing it or not. They’re all valid and easy to understand really. I was asking if people think it narrows down who gets in touch at all folks..."

Not really as mystiquexx said most people don’t read profiles they just look at your sexuality and gender and possibly look at your pictures.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this an interesting topic...there is no wrong answer really.

I understand how overwhelmed women and couples get by messages, and that by asking for a face pic in a first message they feel it narrows down the selection, which is completely understandable.

I also think it narrows down who will get in touch at all. The field is narrowed by choosing a face pic they like, which absolutely makes sense (it’s vital) but the field is already narrowed as they only get messages from those who are happy to spread their face all over a sex site just to get response. Anyone with a bit about them has no interest I meeting 20 demands. I see a lot of profiles saying face pic or no reply, then complaining about their inbox...It’s a catch 22 I reckon, you narrow it down like that for a good reason, but you lose out aswell.

So is it actually a good thing to do? would you want to have sex with someone you ain't seen ? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Very valid point Mystiquexx and actually what I was asking about!

I understand everyone’s reasons for asking for it, doing it or not. They’re all valid and easy to understand really. I was asking if people think it narrows down who gets in touch at all folks...

Not really as mystiquexx said most people don’t read profiles they just look at your sexuality and gender and possibly look at your pictures. "

Exactly. I get 'great pics!' as a first message. No mention of my fabricated size waist at all!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I find this an interesting topic...there is no wrong answer really.

I understand how overwhelmed women and couples get by messages, and that by asking for a face pic in a first message they feel it narrows down the selection, which is completely understandable.

I also think it narrows down who will get in touch at all. The field is narrowed by choosing a face pic they like, which absolutely makes sense (it’s vital) but the field is already narrowed as they only get messages from those who are happy to spread their face all over a sex site just to get response. Anyone with a bit about them has no interest I meeting 20 demands. I see a lot of profiles saying face pic or no reply, then complaining about their inbox...It’s a catch 22 I reckon, you narrow it down like that for a good reason, but you lose out aswell.

So is it actually a good thing to do? would you want to have sex with someone you ain't seen ?

"

The question was does asking for it in a first message narrow down who gets in touch. Nothing to do with whether you’d have sex with someone without seeing a face pic or if you should share at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a female you get so many messages where the poster has clearly not read the profile, it’s the usual copy and pasted message that’s prob sent to everyone that’s online local to the sender... so no... asking for a face pic in first message doesn’t make any odds. And if it does stop someone messaging.. so be it.. it’s not like there is a shortage of people messaging.

You get guys that send friend requests without even sending a message first... so they are wanting pics without any type of contact... is that right or wrong?

I really don’t understand the relevance to the question in first place.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As a female you get so many messages where the poster has clearly not read the profile, it’s the usual copy and pasted message that’s prob sent to everyone that’s online local to the sender... so no... asking for a face pic in first message doesn’t make any odds. And if it does stop someone messaging.. so be it.. it’s not like there is a shortage of people messaging.

You get guys that send friend requests without even sending a message first... so they are wanting pics without any type of contact... is that right or wrong?

I really don’t understand the relevance to the question in first place. "

The relevance was finding out if people think asking for one in a first message narrows down who gets in contact.

For you it’s a no, which is understandable and expected for a single female. It’s just a question, was keen to get people’s take on it

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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Very valid point Mystiquexx and actually what I was asking about!

I understand everyone’s reasons for asking for it, doing it or not. They’re all valid and easy to understand really. I was asking if people think it narrows down who gets in touch at all folks..."

I still get messages from guys who don't send a face pic, so not really. It probably just stops those with a "Like fuck am I going to show you what I look like, even though you've shown me, because you 'demand' it with my first message!" attitude, and I wouldn't want to meet them anyway.

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