FabSwingers.com forum: Do you use people?

By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Having a chat with my chum on holiday and he reckons we all use each other...but I don't agree that I use people.

So what constitutes using someone in your book, and do you think you do it?

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By *al2001Man
over a year ago

kildare

A cum and go

And yes. If I'm asked nicely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like us to use each other for sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Manipulation of their mind to an end that benefits you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we do I mean everyone has an interaction with someone because it benefits them in some kind of way

It might be immediate or down the line

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn't this site all about using each other?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been roaming around

Always looking down at all I see

Painted faces, fill the places I can't reach

You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you, and all you know, and how you speak

Countless lovers under cover of the street

You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you

Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep

Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat

I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me

Someone like me, somebody

Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around,

Always looking down at all I see

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been roaming around

Always looking down at all I see

Painted faces, fill the places I can't reach

You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you, and all you know, and how you speak

Countless lovers under cover of the street

You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you

Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep

Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat

I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me

Someone like me, somebody

Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around,

Always looking down at all I see"

Tune!! I’m gonna listen to that tonight while I’m fucking

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I would like us to use each other for sex

Haha, said with a smile though....

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Isn't this site all about using each other?"

It often is - but is that right or beneficial?

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

When you got nothing to offer to someone or someone can no longer offer you anything, may help if you are using or being used

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Manipulation of their mind to an end that benefits you

Yes, that's my kind of definition.

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"When you got nothing to offer to someone or someone can no longer offer you anything, may help if you are using or being used"

I see what you are saying.

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

"Tune!! I’m gonna listen to that tonight while I’m fucking

No need to rub it in ;-D

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I think we do all use each other to a greater or lesser extent sometimes deliberately other times inadvertently. Whether it is wrong is more to do with the detail, ie is the advantage being reciprocated in which case it’s a mutual thing, if you are just using someone in some way with no thought for how it affects them and solely for your own benefit then this is not a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Isn't this site all about using each other?

It often is - but is that right or beneficial?"

Right is a point of view. If both/all parties are consenting and satisfied with the arrangement I would say yes it's beneficial for them. Whether it's beneficial for wider society is a whole other question. Now my head hurts again.

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

I don't like to think I do though I'm sure some may disagree. The trick is to try and be upfront about what you're after if you don't wan't someone to feel used after. The thing is, the ones you are often most nonchallant about in the begining often end up being the ones you become most passionate about.

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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago

my own little sanctuary

To me, ‘using’ means you are leading someone to believe they hold a higher value than they do. Wether it be a friend or family or anything else, if you are willing to exaggerate or even give them the notion of something you are unable to give. You are using them, if you intend on giving them what they seek and they do it that is not using. If all they ask is friendship and you truly consider them a friend for the person they are not the skills they have it’s not using them. If you deceive them into thinking you’re friends but you use friendship as a tool to gain from their skills you’re using them.

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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago

my own little sanctuary

Intent is the deciding factor.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bookmarking for after work, good topic Frisky. I was trying to get the words to articulate my feelings on this last night.

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

"Bookmarking for after work, good topic Frisky. I was trying to get the words to articulate my feelings on this last night. "

Anything else you need articulating... I'm told I'm a dab hand

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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago

A world all of his own

I think to a lesser or greater extent, we all do, whether it be intentionally or unintentionally.

I do often ask for help/favours but on the odd occasion that I do, I'm always extremely grateful for the help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think everyone has an agenda

We find friends and make relationships when our agenda's coincide we each other.

Part of human nature I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only if the recipe specifically calls for it, but otherwise I'll substitute with pork

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If doing things for others, and getting a feeling of fulfilment from it, is using them, then yes, I use people.

I do use men for sexual fulfilment, but that's mutual using.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think "using" someone in simple terms comes down to taking something wholly for your own advantage - now sometimes that may be a beneficial and good thing, for instance if it's fairly trivial or doesn't have a harmful impact on the person being used, especially if there's a quid pro quo element to it that may be "paid back" at a later date - and to that extent each and every one of us are users in one way or another.

However, where it's all take and no give, that's where the negative connotations come into play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all do.Just do it with a smile and everyone's happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been roaming around

Always looking down at all I see

Painted faces, fill the places I can't reach

You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you, and all you know, and how you speak

Countless lovers under cover of the street

You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you

Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep

Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat

I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me

Someone like me, somebody

Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around,

Always looking down at all I see

Tune!! I’m gonna listen to that tonight while I’m fucking

Was this an offer?

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Intent is the deciding factor. "

Yes I would agree I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bookmarking for after work, good topic Frisky. I was trying to get the words to articulate my feelings on this last night.

Anything else you need articulating... I'm told I'm a dab hand

A lorry. Thanks.

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

"Bookmarking for after work, good topic Frisky. I was trying to get the words to articulate my feelings on this last night.

Anything else you need articulating... I'm told I'm a dab hand

A lorry. Thanks.

You sure you got the trailer attached

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I if both (or more) people concerned are upfront and honest and both singing of the same hymn sheet then I don't feel anyone can turn around and say they were used.

However if one person has led the other one on, for example, telling them its more than a one off NSA meet, then they don't meet that person again, I can then see how the person could feel used.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I tried to use ma mate a while back, but it was then that my worst fears were confirmed, he is infact, absolutely useless

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I tried to use ma mate a while back, but it was then that my worst fears were confirmed, he is infact, absolutely useless

Haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To me, ‘using’ means you are leading someone to believe they hold a higher value than they do. Wether it be a friend or family or anything else, if you are willing to exaggerate or even give them the notion of something you are unable to give. You are using them, if you intend on giving them what they seek and they do it that is not using. If all they ask is friendship and you truly consider them a friend for the person they are not the skills they have it’s not using them. If you deceive them into thinking you’re friends but you use friendship as a tool to gain from their skills you’re using them."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Using' someone makes me have negative feelings. If 2 friends are fuck buds they aren't using each other, they are having fun together.

I think 'using' is one sided. If both people are getting something out of it, then it's a mutual arrangement and a positive thing.

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Intent is the deciding factor. "

Attitude and intent I would say.

Deception is often a part of it but I don't think always. Lack of parity maybe, self-centredness?

But if I need a hot fuck and meet some young guy just to fulfill that need maybe I am using him, albeit with his full consent? Maybe consent to the deal is the critical aspect?

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Im always open, honest with integrity and treat others how I would like to be treated. So no I dont use others. However to find these attributes in others is a challenge.

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Im always open, honest with integrity and treat others how I would like to be treated. So no I dont use others. However to find these attributes in others is a challenge.

Fully agree with you there!!

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Who doesn't right? I've been eating people and making garments out of their skins for years.

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"'Using' someone makes me have negative feelings. If 2 friends are fuck buds they aren't using each other, they are having fun together.

I think 'using' is one sided. If both people are getting something out of it, then it's a mutual arrangement and a positive thing. "

What if someone allows themselves to be used for what they get out of it, are they being used any less?

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

We all use each other but to what degree are we conscious of using someone, it is called surviving. Give & take

#1 sale tactic “WIIFM?”: “What’s In It For Me?”

Of course, using does not have to be menacing, does it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'Using' someone makes me have negative feelings. If 2 friends are fuck buds they aren't using each other, they are having fun together.

I think 'using' is one sided. If both people are getting something out of it, then it's a mutual arrangement and a positive thing.

What if someone allows themselves to be used for what they get out of it, are they being used any less?"

But they're both getting something out of it in that scenario.

NN (a lovely forumite from times gone by) had a great way of looking at it. Along the lines of.... That hot young guy may think he's using this old slapper, but I'm the one fucking a hot young guy. He's the one losing out, not me.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"'Using' someone makes me have negative feelings. If 2 friends are fuck buds they aren't using each other, they are having fun together.

I think 'using' is one sided. If both people are getting something out of it, then it's a mutual arrangement and a positive thing.

What if someone allows themselves to be used for what they get out of it, are they being used any less?"

Is it use if the user doesn't know it's use? For me use kind of inplys the users intent and/or knowlage of use. Is it still use if the user is genuinely unaware of the use and believes all parties are happy and equally benefiting for the situatuon?

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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago

my own little sanctuary

"'Using' someone makes me have negative feelings. If 2 friends are fuck buds they aren't using each other, they are having fun together.

I think 'using' is one sided. If both people are getting something out of it, then it's a mutual arrangement and a positive thing.

What if someone allows themselves to be used for what they get out of it, are they being used any less?

But they're both getting something out of it in that scenario.

I disagree, that suggests age is relative to some kind of superior or inferior complex. Such a contrast removes use because to be wanting that in the first place is suggestive of you both gaining some sense of satisfaction and fulfiment as it’s a kink for both parties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having a chat with my chum on holiday and he reckons we all use each other...but I don't agree that I use people.

So what constitutes using someone in your book, and do you think you do it?"
to be honest I don't mind being used by others for things that they regard as my talents and in return rather than take money take the things that they offer freely

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"'Using' someone makes me have negative feelings. If 2 friends are fuck buds they aren't using each other, they are having fun together.

I think 'using' is one sided. If both people are getting something out of it, then it's a mutual arrangement and a positive thing.

What if someone allows themselves to be used for what they get out of it, are they being used any less?

But they're both getting something out of it in that scenario.

Oh I agree in that instance - I have never felt used by any young buck I have met for sex, and though I think I may have used one or two of them, they came after me!!

But there are more complex scenarios.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr Doublehunbon uses me as his own personal slut, and I love it

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"'Using' someone makes me have negative feelings. If 2 friends are fuck buds they aren't using each other, they are having fun together.

I think 'using' is one sided. If both people are getting something out of it, then it's a mutual arrangement and a positive thing.

What if someone allows themselves to be used for what they get out of it, are they being used any less?

I don't think I would call that use, no (though there may be an exception I cannot think of). But the user may indeed be unaware that's what they are doing I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'Using' someone makes me have negative feelings. If 2 friends are fuck buds they aren't using each other, they are having fun together.

I think 'using' is one sided. If both people are getting something out of it, then it's a mutual arrangement and a positive thing.

What if someone allows themselves to be used for what they get out of it, are they being used any less?

But they're both getting something out of it in that scenario.

She described it far better than I did.

Taking age out of the equation then. Hot bloke that thinks the woman is ugly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'Using' someone makes me have negative feelings. If 2 friends are fuck buds they aren't using each other, they are having fun together.

I think 'using' is one sided. If both people are getting something out of it, then it's a mutual arrangement and a positive thing.

What if someone allows themselves to be used for what they get out of it, are they being used any less?

If they play the game and pretend to like me I'm happy- even if I know they are really using me. If they reveal that they are using me then *goodbye*.

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By *risky_Mare OP Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"'Using' someone makes me have negative feelings. If 2 friends are fuck buds they aren't using each other, they are having fun together.

I think 'using' is one sided. If both people are getting something out of it, then it's a mutual arrangement and a positive thing.

What if someone allows themselves to be used for what they get out of it, are they being used any less?

If they play the game and pretend to like me I'm happy- even if I know they are really using me. If they reveal that they are using me then *goodbye*. "

Strange, that sounds like a total anathema to me - you are fine with deception but not truth?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion everyone uses you in some way wheteher its in a good way or a bad way.

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