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Swingers village

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull

Lighthearted thread so keep it fun and witty please

I'm buying a huge plot of land to start the ultimate swingers village so the question is what features should we have that will encourage you to up sticks and buy a property ?

I'm starting with a village pub next to the river

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

I'll set up a tea shop.

With lots of cake...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A competing pub that sells cake

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"I'll set up a tea shop.

With lots of cake... "

Fantastic, you're the first resident so can pick any plot for your tea shop.

Do you want a village green building ?

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"A competing pub that sells cake "

Pub crawl...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Large outdoor hot tub, as all swingers like hot tubs.

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"A competing pub that sells cake "

Not competing !!

Working together to offer an alternative

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"I'll set up a tea shop.

With lots of cake...

Fantastic, you're the first resident so can pick any plot for your tea shop.

Do you want a village green building ?"

Yes please; near the duck pond would be perfect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A competing pub that sells cake

Not competing !!

Working together to offer an alternative "

No, sorry, we're competing

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"Large outdoor hot tub, as all swingers like hot tubs. "

On the village green or more discrete ?

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By *he Dork KnightMan
over a year ago

Newport

Very big gym. If we are living beer and cake some of us will need it.

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"A competing pub that sells cake

Not competing !!

Working together to offer an alternative

No, sorry, we're competing "

Then your not invited into my village

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Large outdoor hot tub, as all swingers like hot tubs. "

Just make sure its cleaned on a daily basis

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"I'll set up a tea shop.

With lots of cake...

Fantastic, you're the first resident so can pick any plot for your tea shop.

Do you want a village green building ?

Yes please; near the duck pond would be perfect "

Considerate sorted and on the plans

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A competing pub that sells cake

Not competing !!

Working together to offer an alternative

No, sorry, we're competing

Then your not invited into my village "

Wimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of horny ladys be a nice start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Large outdoor hot tub, as all swingers like hot tubs.

On the village green or more discrete ?"

It's a swingers village. Get it on the green

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lingerie shop

A fancy dress shop

A bed shop

A little house by the river for me?

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"Lots of horny ladys be a nice start "

Can't attract the ladies without the infrastructure.

That's why a cake shop was first on the plans

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By *ools47Woman
over a year ago

Failsworth

Adult playground definitely.

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"A lingerie shop

A fancy dress shop

A bed shop

A little house by the river for me?"

I'll put you down for one with river frontage

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"Adult playground definitely.

"

More specifically please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bouncy castle amd comfy bean bags

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By *rKitMan
over a year ago

Prenton

I'll open the Village Police Station..... you know just for the uniform, handcuffs and truncheon. Gotta have someone to keep you horny things in line.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"I'll open the Village Police Station..... you know just for the uniform, handcuffs and truncheon. Gotta have someone to keep you horny things in line."

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Village Green / Cricket Club

I'll run the club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A jewellery shop stocking silver jewellery at affordable prices

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"Village Green / Cricket Club

I'll run the club"

Leather and willow...

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Village Green / Cricket Club

I'll run the club

Leather and willow... "

Come steaming in from the bottom end and bowl a maiden over

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By *rKitMan
over a year ago

Prenton


"Village Green / Cricket Club

I'll run the club"

The ground conditions will be good for swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Village Green / Cricket Club

I'll run the club"

I’m in!

Lots of pampas grass and fruit bowls for keys (I like to keep things retro).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A branch of ann summers and a love honey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I run the gym

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Since this village isn't allowed more than pub

I'm going to sell ankle bracelets and pamper grass

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull

Update; I've acquired a private beach attached to our village if anyone has requirements for that part of the village

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Large outdoor hot tub, as all swingers like hot tubs. "

Yes yes yes we'll have the house with the huge hot tub in the garden

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"Since this village isn't allowed more than pub

I'm going to sell ankle bracelets and pamper grass "

Definitely allowed more than one pub it's the competing that's out.

You'll be rich with your new idea though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A hall of mirrors for the self adulation junkies!

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

You will need transport in and out of town to. So make it a steam train and you got my vote

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By *vadownMan
over a year ago

Wickham

Paddle boats

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull

What restaurants do you fancy ?

Chinese and Indian are a must

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"What restaurants do you fancy ?

Chinese and Indian are a must"

All of them, I'm a greedy twat.

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

A cinema with only 1 row of seats, we can all be on the back row then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex swings on the village green

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A warhouse that I can have for cheap to put a communal workshop

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Slip and slides ... make your own mind up on the connotation

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By *llysonMacWoman
over a year ago

Hanley

Can it be walled and gated to keep the riff raff out?

Can we have a woodland for outdoor activities

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I'd make a stage where every day we have a new contest ..

Day 1 : Most enthusiastic blow job

Day2 : Woman who can get a guy hard the quickest without using any part of her body

You get the idea

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"I'd make a stage where every day we have a new contest ..

Day 1 : Most enthusiastic blow job

Day2 : Woman who can get a guy hard the quickest without using any part of her body

You get the idea "

Sounds like my 18-30 holiday back in the day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great big version of Twister

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"Can it be walled and gated to keep the riff raff out?

Can we have a woodland for outdoor activities "

Definitely consider it sorted

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By *omino_2Couple
over a year ago

Gillingham, Dorset


"

Can we have a woodland for outdoor activities "

And a carpark for the doggers

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull

Water sports down on the beach.

Not that kind !!

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"

Can we have a woodland for outdoor activities

And a carpark for the doggers"

Mmmmmm do we want outsiders coming in ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can the pub have a dark, quiet corner for me to be grumpy in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Move everyone I fancy in!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A clinic next to the pharmacy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Costa, Debenhams and a swimming pool please, can live without everything else

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"Can the pub have a dark, quiet corner for me to be grumpy in?"

If your grumpy in this village there's no hope for you.

I'll put a topless barmaid in to cheer you up

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"Costa, Debenhams and a swimming pool please, can live without everything else "

I'm not sure about chain stores, we're trying to break free from society

Would an independent coffee house be ok ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can the pub have a dark, quiet corner for me to be grumpy in?

If your grumpy in this village there's no hope for you.

I'll put a topless barmaid in to cheer you up"

The fact that there's no hope for me is a long-established fact.

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"A clinic next to the pharmacy "

And then a pitchfork shop next to that to chase any one diagnosed out of the village so the barebacking can continue lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

villagers probably wont like the idea

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"Can the pub have a dark, quiet corner for me to be grumpy in?

If your grumpy in this village there's no hope for you.

I'll put a topless barmaid in to cheer you up

The fact that there's no hope for me is a long-established fact."

Mmmmm not sure whether you'd fit in, have you got a stunning hot wife ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course I won't fit in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Need a beauty salon for us ladies to keep looking our best...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Costa, Debenhams and a swimming pool please, can live without everything else

I'm not sure about chain stores, we're trying to break free from society

Would an independent coffee house be ok ?"

Nothing tastes as good as a Costa

And shoes from Faith in Debenhams are essential to life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing tastes as good as a Costa

And shoes from Faith in Debenhams are essential to life "

Agree, none of the other places come close to costa...

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By *eneRoissyMan
over a year ago

Nailsworth


"Large outdoor hot tub, as all swingers like hot tubs.

On the village green or more discrete ?"

Maybe more discrete, surrounded by pampas grass?

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By *llysonMacWoman
over a year ago

Hanley


"

Can we have a woodland for outdoor activities

And a carpark for the doggers

Mmmmmm do we want outsiders coming in ? "

Could keep it for the people who live in the village to use for dogging.

I'm hoping this is a pretty big village! and so wish it was real!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing tastes as good as a Costa

And shoes from Faith in Debenhams are essential to life

Agree, none of the other places come close to costa... "

The sandwich shop across from where I work makes good coffee, and the girls who work there are pretty tasty as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing tastes as good as a Costa

And shoes from Faith in Debenhams are essential to life

Agree, none of the other places come close to costa... "

You have fantastic taste

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you lots going to bring in these retail chains why not you stay where you are... Village should look and smell like one, so I am creating farm land with lot of farm animals and barley cultivation to supply the local pubs.. I will be running law firm, so if you couples want to divorce and marry the next door neighbor, it will be handy.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

I'll open a condom shop and make a fucking fortune.

Literally......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A market full of stalls selling rude shaped fruit and veg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A market full of stalls selling rude shaped fruit and veg"

Great, I can buy the veg from my farm, you can pay back by kisses.

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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin

I would run the kinky fetish / Bondage kit and accessories shop. Selling ferish clothing and items suck as floggers, restraints, gags, bespoke fetish furniture.

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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin

And can I have a large house by the beach please

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"A market full of stalls selling rude shaped fruit and veg"

Expect an increase in "novelty" photos in Hotpics.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Large outdoor hot tub, as all swingers like hot tubs. "

Do they? How do you know this?

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By *ippcoupe2Couple
over a year ago

cahir/cashel

planning permission may help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Large outdoor hot tub, as all swingers like hot tubs.

Do they? How do you know this? "

Have you ever met one who didn't?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A market full of stalls selling rude shaped fruit and veg

Great, I can buy the veg from my farm, you can pay back by kisses. "

Lots of thingy shaped turnips please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A market full of stalls selling rude shaped fruit and veg

Expect an increase in "novelty" photos in Hotpics....."

Getting your 5 a day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would run the kinky fetish / Bondage kit and accessories shop. Selling ferish clothing and items suck as floggers, restraints, gags, bespoke fetish furniture. "

Will you be giving demonstrations to customers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After spending the morning cleaning our 6 person hot tub ive changed my mind i wanna run the lingerie shop on the corner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can pooch and i run guided countryside tours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Large outdoor hot tub, as all swingers like hot tubs.

Do they? How do you know this?

Have you ever met one who didn't?"

Yes.

Plenty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sex swings on the village green "

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"A market full of stalls selling rude shaped fruit and veg

Expect an increase in "novelty" photos in Hotpics.....

Getting your 5 a day "

Having seen a few of "those" photos, I'm not sure that method of consumption is the best route to digestion......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A clinic next to the pharmacy

And then a pitchfork shop next to that to chase any one diagnosed out of the village so the barebacking can continue lol"

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

Can I offer to be the busty barmaid?

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 30/06/18 14:19:49]

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"Can I offer to be the busty barmaid?

"

You can certainly be interviewed by me to see if you have the correct assets to keep my villagers happy

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"And can I have a large house by the beach please "

As you asked so nicely I've allocated you plot 69

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By *ussy FoodMan
over a year ago

darlington

Can I be the window cleaner please

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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin


"I would run the kinky fetish / Bondage kit and accessories shop. Selling ferish clothing and items suck as floggers, restraints, gags, bespoke fetish furniture.

Will you be giving demonstrations to customers? "

Of course, I will also run classes in the upstairs dungeon, available for private hire by the hour

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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin


"I would run the kinky fetish / Bondage kit and accessories shop. Selling ferish clothing and items suck as floggers, restraints, gags, bespoke fetish furniture.

Will you be giving demonstrations to customers?

Of course, I will also run classes in the upstairs dungeon, available for private hire by the hour "

**

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to be the handy man.

Need something fixed or built i can do it for you. With all these sex swings and stuff around the town someones got to maintain them.

Naked builder doing odd jobs !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would run the kinky fetish / Bondage kit and accessories shop. Selling ferish clothing and items suck as floggers, restraints, gags, bespoke fetish furniture.

Will you be giving demonstrations to customers?

Of course, I will also run classes in the upstairs dungeon, available for private hire by the hour "

That's handy, I'm a bit out of practice with my riding crop

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By *retty womanWoman
over a year ago

Near Bournemouth

I think the village needs a fish and chip shop.

I'd happily run it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do think there would be any demand for a library of erotica? I think I'd make a decent librarian.

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"I think the village needs a fish and chip shop.

I'd happily run it "

Proposal accepted, nice alternative when everyone's all curried out

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

Cake and a bouncy castle, I can’t believe I’ve only just spotted this thread!!

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By *retty womanWoman
over a year ago

Near Bournemouth


"I think the village needs a fish and chip shop.

I'd happily run it

Proposal accepted, nice alternative when everyone's all curried out"

Brilliant, my hubby could also be the villages carpenter

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think


"Can I offer to be the busty barmaid?

You can certainly be interviewed by me to see if you have the correct assets to keep my villagers happy "

oh I'm quite good at getting a nice head ..... on the beer

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Fab retirement home, as I've proposed before, for the more aged but very young and horny at heart. We'll have a cover facade, for visiting relatives not in the know but once they're out, the dungeon and other facilities will come into their own. Young men entertain the more experienced ladies as well as potential bi fun. Tons of facilities.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like to be the handy man.

Need something fixed or built i can do it for you. With all these sex swings and stuff around the town someones got to maintain them.

Naked builder doing odd jobs !!"

U can come round and service our huge hot tub

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By *iercedCplCouple
over a year ago

Greater Manchester

A campsite?

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

How about a naked only mixed sauna n steam room ( for the winter)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How about a naked only mixed sauna n steam room ( for the winter) "

It could go on the other side of the swimming pool from the hot tub.

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By *rank n BettyCouple
over a year ago

Not meeting

Can I have a gin bar? Happy for it to be inside the pub or in a little summerhouse in the beer garden

B x

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"Can I have a gin bar? Happy for it to be inside the pub or in a little summerhouse in the beer garden

B x"

Of course you can, sounds like a classy addition to the village

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By *layfullsam OP   Man
over a year ago

Solihull


"I think the village needs a fish and chip shop.

I'd happily run it

Proposal accepted, nice alternative when everyone's all curried out

Brilliant, my hubby could also be the villages carpenter "

So he can nail and screw few of the women ?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm nearing retirement... seems like the perfect place for me to retire to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A cinema... actually, 2 cinemas...

One indoors and one open air outdoor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just seen a planning application for a glory hole and some stocks to be built next to the sex swings on the village green.

Can residents please write in to the council to support this. You can also have your say at the next planning meeting after which there is a dogging demonstration in the new car park.

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By *retty womanWoman
over a year ago

Near Bournemouth


"I think the village needs a fish and chip shop.

I'd happily run it

Proposal accepted, nice alternative when everyone's all curried out

Brilliant, my hubby could also be the villages carpenter

So he can nail and screw few of the women ?"

He could do that

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