Well, as has been mentioned many times here, I’m pretty oblivious to being flirted with.
At times I’m also a bit shy.
Many moons ago me and my best friend were employed to run and promote a new restaurant/bar.
My BB if 6 feet 2, actor, theatre producer, playwright, runway and catalogue model, very well spoken, very well educated and something of a charmer.
Me, less so.
Our double act consisted of him wooing the ladies with his good looks and charm, me chatting to the chaps.
All working very well……
One night a group of very attractive young ladies rock up at the front door, I step back and leave him to it.
Couple of minutes later, they’re all downstairs in the bar.
He turns to me and says, “you should go talk the one with the blue dress and the bob, she couldn’t take her eyes off you”
Obviously I don’t believe a word he says.
After 25 minutes of his nagging I agree to go downstairs and make “small talk”.
I wander down, walk around the corner. As I turn the corner there she is in front of me, our eyes meet and I turn into a gibbering idiot, turn around and walk back upstairs.
BB wants a run down of how our conversation went, I tell him I couldn’t talk to her, he calls me a twat.
A little while later the door opens, out they spill and start to make jokes about having to climb all the stairs, so I volunteer to carry them up to the top.
The brunette opens her arms, laughs and says come on then.
I walk down, lift her into my arms, carry her upstairs, ask where they’re going, she says the taxi rank next door, so I carry her round and shout for a cab.
All the time I can feel her breathe on my neck and smell her perfume, she just melts in my arms.
I sit her down in the taxi office and walk back round to the restaurant.
BB hi 5’s me and asks me how it went, did I talk to her, did I ask her out for a coffee, what did I say?
Obviously there’s nothing to tell, so he calls me a twat. Again.
As part of our promotion we were giving out flyers; come back next week and get some money off your first drink.
He thrusts a wad of them into my hand and pushes me towards the taxi rank, give them these flyers, see if she comes back next week!!
Good plan, so off I run. By this time they’re in a cab about to go.
I see her looking out at me and she open the door, staring straight at me.
I push the flyers into her hand and say here, take these.
A voice from the back asks what they are, at which point I reply, they’re flyers for the bar and utter the immortal line,
“Come back next week and get a driscount on your first dink……”
Bastard still takes the piss 20 years later. |
