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Transgender

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By *arol dawn OP   Woman
over a year ago

near margate

Do you think if someone has had a sex change from male to female you should be told before you meet them ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would prefer to be told.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you think if someone has had a sex change from male to female you should be told before you meet them ??"

I tried to send you a private message to discuss this, but you have blocked messages from my 'group'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. I don’t enjoy surprises

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London

yes we should be told, some men would still view a trans woman as a male no matter and would feel like they have been conned and sexuality taken advantage of

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I would prefer it but it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. I chat to people a lot before I meet them so I'd like to think if it wasn't on the profile it's something that would of been mentioned anyway.

Why do ask OP?

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London


"I would prefer it but it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. I chat to people a lot before I meet them so I'd like to think if it wasn't on the profile it's something that would of been mentioned anyway.

Why do ask OP?"

very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personlly dont mind. Its up to them to tell me what they were born as. I would like to know before sleepjng with them, but other than that I dont mind if we just meeting for a drink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"yes we should be told, some men would still view a trans woman as a male no matter and would feel like they have been conned and sexuality taken advantage of "

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Depends if they still have the meat and veg

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Nope, she's a woman. Non of your business.

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London

not the business of some one you are going to be intimate with? disagree!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't be bothered either way. I understand why a lot don't say. Considering how dangerous it is to just announce it to random people.

~Mia

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London


"Wouldn't be bothered either way. I understand why a lot don't say. Considering how dangerous it is to just announce it to random people.

~Mia"

its not random people it would be some one you have been talking to and are thinking of meeting x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"not the business of some one you are going to be intimate with? disagree!"

If they had the full operation, doesnt matter. If not, they should let you know before going to bed that they have a penis but they are female

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Nope, she's a woman. Non of your business."

Really?

So say a Trans woman with penis and testicles meets a man who believes she is biological woman. Is it not rather dangerous not to tell the man that fact in advance. Some react very badly to discovering someone they thought was a biological woman isn't.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

If i was a woman wanting to meet a woman I'd probably be surprised if they turned out to be a pre op X-man. Annoyed as well if i had wanted to eat from the furry cup.

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London


"Nope, she's a woman. Non of your business.

Really?

So say a Trans woman with penis and testicles meets a man who believes she is biological woman. Is it not rather dangerous not to tell the man that fact in advance. Some react very badly to discovering someone they thought was a biological woman isn't. "

spot on! to me even if the operation has happened they should be told, i know many guys who would be so angry if they were not told

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By *offee with MilkCouple
over a year ago

Over the roundabout and then turn right.

[Removed by poster at 22/06/18 13:08:35]

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London


"[Removed by poster at 22/06/18 13:08:26]"

yes me too!

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By *offee with MilkCouple
over a year ago

Over the roundabout and then turn right.

The reverse is also true though. We would be very interested.

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London


"The reverse is also true though. We would be very interested. "

snap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see both sides of this argument. However, given that our community is based on mutual honesty and respect, I'm leaning more towards the trans person telling the other person out of openness. The "none of your business" argument doesn't seem to work when everyone has got their bits on display.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"I can see both sides of this argument. However, given that our community is based on mutual honesty and respect, I'm leaning more towards the trans person telling the other person out of openness. The "none of your business" argument doesn't seem to work when everyone has got their bits on display."

There's this strange idea in some circles that if someone identifies as a woman but has a penis, they're the same as a woman born with a vagina, so it doesn't matter to anyone having sex with them what genitals they have.

For 99% of people that's not the case. It matters a great deal to them as to whether the woman they are meeting for sex has a penis or a vagina.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

If someone has fully transitioned into their chosen sex, then no, I don't think it's necessary. If they are still going through the process and have genitals that I wasn't expecting, then I'd prefer to know before we got down to it.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"I can see both sides of this argument. However, given that our community is based on mutual honesty and respect, I'm leaning more towards the trans person telling the other person out of openness. The "none of your business" argument doesn't seem to work when everyone has got their bits on display."

It's not going to get that far though is it. It's really just the time wasting aspect. If you meet a lady for a drink and she turns out to be 6ft 3 in heels, with big hands, wearing a choaker, with a little too much make up. She's got a secret...

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London

as i said before many men would not see a trans woman as a woman and would feel you have wronged them against their sexuality, why not just be open, then no ones feelings get hurt. It wouldnt bother me but I would think why didnt you tell me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyway OP, I've told you now so let's just leave it there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wouldn't be bothered either way. I understand why a lot don't say. Considering how dangerous it is to just announce it to random people.

~Mia

its not random people it would be some one you have been talking to and are thinking of meeting x"

Still a random person though as you only know them over the internet.

~Mia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think they’re obliged to tell the person first, I don’t think it’s fair otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Wouldn't be bothered either way. I understand why a lot don't say. Considering how dangerous it is to just announce it to random people.

~Mia

its not random people it would be some one you have been talking to and are thinking of meeting x

Still a random person though as you only know them over the internet.

~Mia"

Isn't it a bit more dangerous to meet someone who thought you had a vagina when they discover you have a penis?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know enough about a penis on a ftm so I can't really say. Don't think it would work for someone wanting to be splattered with cum though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although if there’s a cock where a vagina should be, that’s usually bit of a give away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes pls i want the choice too

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can see both sides of this argument. However, given that our community is based on mutual honesty and respect, I'm leaning more towards the trans person telling the other person out of openness. The "none of your business" argument doesn't seem to work when everyone has got their bits on display.

It's not going to get that far though is it. It's really just the time wasting aspect. If you meet a lady for a drink and she turns out to be 6ft 3 in heels, with big hands, wearing a choaker, with a little too much make up. She's got a secret... "

You obviously haven’t been to devon then.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"I don't know enough about a penis on a ftm so I can't really say. Don't think it would work for someone wanting to be splattered with cum though."

Most transgender women have not have surgery, so have male genitals.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Adam’s apple usually is a give away also.

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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago

Cardiff

If meeting for sex I've always been upfront about what I am. This is because I haven't had all the surgeries and so it would be pretty obvious once my clothes are off that something wasn't quite "right".

If I had gone through all the surgeries then I think I would still say because the erectile devices are... manual not automatic is the best way I can describe them. So it's still obvious something isn't quite "right".

With regards to transwomen, post op I want to say no, they shouldn't have to say, their past is their past BUT too many men would still treat their past as if it's the present and there is the risk that they would kick off if/when they found out, so I don't know how safe not saying something would be. And for this reason I say that pre op transwomen should say before meeting. It's better someone kicks off online where they can be blocked than face to face where getting away might not be as easy.

Outside of sex, it's nobodies business.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London


"Nope, she's a woman. Non of your business.

Really?

So say a Trans woman with penis and testicles meets a man who believes she is biological woman. Is it not rather dangerous not to tell the man that fact in advance. Some react very badly to discovering someone they thought was a biological woman isn't. "

A transvestite is usually someone who dresses for pleasure.

A transexual is usually in the process of transitioning.

A transgender person is usually someone who has completed their transition. Therefore, M2F is a woman. Nobodies business what used to be in her pants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they have been through the whole process then it is their decision whether to tell someone. Legally they are female, I know most people would argue that morally they should tell but it's up to the person.

I don't tell everyone I meet my life history.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Nope, she's a woman. Non of your business.

Really?

So say a Trans woman with penis and testicles meets a man who believes she is biological woman. Is it not rather dangerous not to tell the man that fact in advance. Some react very badly to discovering someone they thought was a biological woman isn't.

A transvestite is usually someone who dresses for pleasure.

A transexual is usually in the process of transitioning.

A transgender person is usually someone who has completed their transition. Therefore, M2F is a woman. Nobodies business what used to be in her pants."

I think you are a bit behind the times on that. Most self identified transgender women still have male genitals.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"If meeting for sex I've always been upfront about what I am. This is because I haven't had all the surgeries and so it would be pretty obvious once my clothes are off that something wasn't quite "right".

If I had gone through all the surgeries then I think I would still say because the erectile devices are... manual not automatic is the best way I can describe them. So it's still obvious something isn't quite "right".

With regards to transwomen, post op I want to say no, they shouldn't have to say, their past is their past BUT too many men would still treat their past as if it's the present and there is the risk that they would kick off if/when they found out, so I don't know how safe not saying something would be. And for this reason I say that pre op transwomen should say before meeting. It's better someone kicks off online where they can be blocked than face to face where getting away might not be as easy.

Outside of sex, it's nobodies business."

That's eminently sensible. You could say that, in a perfect world, people wouldn't be bothered, but the reality is many are. As you say, far better telling them in advance then risk them kicking off later on.

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London


"Nope, she's a woman. Non of your business.

Really?

So say a Trans woman with penis and testicles meets a man who believes she is biological woman. Is it not rather dangerous not to tell the man that fact in advance. Some react very badly to discovering someone they thought was a biological woman isn't.

A transvestite is usually someone who dresses for pleasure.

A transexual is usually in the process of transitioning.

A transgender person is usually someone who has completed their transition. Therefore, M2F is a woman. Nobodies business what used to be in her pants."

Most straight men would disagree with you, alot would not want to be with a woman who used to be a man as they would still see her as a man

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Depends. If its a casual thing then its up to them. If it was something more serious then i would like to know more about them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IMHO, Each and every personal interaction between two people is exactly that. It's not something that can be generalised and there are no rights or wrongs that can be applied across the board.

What these sort of discussions still show me, is how far the Trans community still has left to go..

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"IMHO, Each and every personal interaction between two people is exactly that. It's not something that can be generalised and there are no rights or wrongs that can be applied across the board.

What these sort of discussions still show me, is how far the Trans community still has left to go.. "

Which comments would you hope would occur in a better future?

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"IMHO, Each and every personal interaction between two people is exactly that. It's not something that can be generalised and there are no rights or wrongs that can be applied across the board.

What these sort of discussions still show me, is how far the Trans community still has left to go.. "

For the vast majority of people it is very important what genitals potential sexual partners have. Thus, it's entirely reasonable, if your genitals are not congruent with your gender identity that you are honest about that.

Who could possibly object to that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"IMHO, Each and every personal interaction between two people is exactly that. It's not something that can be generalised and there are no rights or wrongs that can be applied across the board.

What these sort of discussions still show me, is how far the Trans community still has left to go..

Which comments would you hope would occur in a better future? "

A universal understanding and unconditional acceptance across the whole of the spectrum would be lovely, but I'm a realist enough to know how unlikely that will happen.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nope, she's a woman. Non of your business.

Really?

So say a Trans woman with penis and testicles meets a man who believes she is biological woman. Is it not rather dangerous not to tell the man that fact in advance. Some react very badly to discovering someone they thought was a biological woman isn't.

A transvestite is usually someone who dresses for pleasure.

A transexual is usually in the process of transitioning.

A transgender person is usually someone who has completed their transition. Therefore, M2F is a woman. Nobodies business what used to be in her pants.

Most straight men would disagree with you, alot would not want to be with a woman who used to be a man as they would still see her as a man"

I would agree with this

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By *attoo manMan
over a year ago

Rhyl

I would like to think. They would tell you before things got to far. Unless it was a one night stand, What you dont know wont hurt you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"IMHO, Each and every personal interaction between two people is exactly that. It's not something that can be generalised and there are no rights or wrongs that can be applied across the board.

What these sort of discussions still show me, is how far the Trans community still has left to go..

For the vast majority of people it is very important what genitals potential sexual partners have. Thus, it's entirely reasonable, if your genitals are not congruent with your gender identity that you are honest about that.

Who could possibly object to that? "

I agree with you. That's why if I end up chatting to someone on a 121 basis I let them know. I don't wear it on an A board when I'm out and about in the real world though. But there again, I'm not Transsexual and I have no plans ever to be so won't ever have that to deal with.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"IMHO, Each and every personal interaction between two people is exactly that. It's not something that can be generalised and there are no rights or wrongs that can be applied across the board.

What these sort of discussions still show me, is how far the Trans community still has left to go..

Which comments would you hope would occur in a better future?

A universal understanding and unconditional acceptance across the whole of the spectrum would be lovely, but I'm a realist enough to know how unlikely that will happen. "

I think we'd all agree with that, but how is that relevant as to whether someone should tell potential sexual partners if their genitals are not those usually associated with their gender identity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can see both sides of this argument. However, given that our community is based on mutual honesty and respect, I'm leaning more towards the trans person telling the other person out of openness. The "none of your business" argument doesn't seem to work when everyone has got their bits on display.

There's this strange idea in some circles that if someone identifies as a woman but has a penis, they're the same as a woman born with a vagina, so it doesn't matter to anyone having sex with them what genitals they have.

For 99% of people that's not the case. It matters a great deal to them as to whether the woman they are meeting for sex has a penis or a vagina. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"IMHO, Each and every personal interaction between two people is exactly that. It's not something that can be generalised and there are no rights or wrongs that can be applied across the board.

What these sort of discussions still show me, is how far the Trans community still has left to go..

Which comments would you hope would occur in a better future?

A universal understanding and unconditional acceptance across the whole of the spectrum would be lovely, but I'm a realist enough to know how unlikely that will happen.

I think we'd all agree with that, but how is that relevant as to whether someone should tell potential sexual partners if their genitals are not those usually associated with their gender identity. "

Like I say, people should be discussing that if needed, 121 with potential partners, if they don't, someone is in for a little surprise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I think it's probably best...

It wouldn't bother me but I'd still like to be told 1st

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London


"Nope, she's a woman. Non of your business.

Really?

So say a Trans woman with penis and testicles meets a man who believes she is biological woman. Is it not rather dangerous not to tell the man that fact in advance. Some react very badly to discovering someone they thought was a biological woman isn't.

A transvestite is usually someone who dresses for pleasure.

A transexual is usually in the process of transitioning.

A transgender person is usually someone who has completed their transition. Therefore, M2F is a woman. Nobodies business what used to be in her pants.

I think you are a bit behind the times on that. Most self identified transgender women still have male genitals.

"

I've numerous trans friends. I'm part of a queer and trans community. To suggest I'm behind the times is laughable when I'm surrounded by these people.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Nope, she's a woman. Non of your business.

Really?

So say a Trans woman with penis and testicles meets a man who believes she is biological woman. Is it not rather dangerous not to tell the man that fact in advance. Some react very badly to discovering someone they thought was a biological woman isn't.

A transvestite is usually someone who dresses for pleasure.

A transexual is usually in the process of transitioning.

A transgender person is usually someone who has completed their transition. Therefore, M2F is a woman. Nobodies business what used to be in her pants.

I think you are a bit behind the times on that. Most self identified transgender women still have male genitals.

I've numerous trans friends. I'm part of a queer and trans community. To suggest I'm behind the times is laughable when I'm surrounded by these people.

"

From my knowledge of the Trans community, there is a very strong objection to the idea that you are not transgender unless you have completed a transition (by which I assume you mean genital surgery).

As I say most people who identify as trans women have a penis and I think it's entirely reasonable for their potential sexual partners to be made aware of that fact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wouldn't be bothered either way. I understand why a lot don't say. Considering how dangerous it is to just announce it to random people.

~Mia

its not random people it would be some one you have been talking to and are thinking of meeting x

Still a random person though as you only know them over the internet.

~Mia

Isn't it a bit more dangerous to meet someone who thought you had a vagina when they discover you have a penis? "

It's dangerous either way. There is a risk in both. I guess it's up to them which risk they are willing to take.

~Mia

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"IMHO, Each and every personal interaction between two people is exactly that. It's not something that can be generalised and there are no rights or wrongs that can be applied across the board.

What these sort of discussions still show me, is how far the Trans community still has left to go..

Which comments would you hope would occur in a better future?

A universal understanding and unconditional acceptance across the whole of the spectrum would be lovely, but I'm a realist enough to know how unlikely that will happen. "

I'm not sure which comments you object to though? The fact that some men won't have sex with a trans person? Or they won't recognise them as their acquired gender? Both?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *arkRichMan
over a year ago

Manchester City Centre

My opinion is this...

Nobody has the power to tell others what they should and shouldn’t do...

I think if you can get away with something like that... why not...

If it’s the wrong thing to do... you’ll end up learning a lesson... but we all do things we perhaps shouldn’t...

It’s not the worst thing that’s happening in the world... and as a man, you should be comfortable enough in your sexuality to react to such a situation like a gent

The way I see it... with knowing a few transgender people...

If a Trans Girl can pass as a Genetic Woman... it must make them feel vindicated after all the negative comments... and all the people that have put them down and stood in their way...

It also must be one of those difficult things that they don’t like to mention... because they feel like it holds them back from being accepted as a normal human being...

A bit like if you had to declare a silly thing that happened to you when you were 15 every time you applied for a new job, for the rest of your life... and watching people’s eyes glaze over and start to judge you (but a million times worse)

I don’t know how I’d feel if the girl I’d fallen for told me she was transgender... but it certainly wouldn’t kill me, them or anyone else...

It’s alright having an opinion when you were lucky enough to be born into the right body, with no disabilities, white skin, and a middle class family...

But your opinions should never come from the point of view of somebody who has nothing to worry about... your opinions should always consider how you would feel, if you were considered as a lesser human, just because you were born differently to everyone else

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"My opinion is this...

Nobody has the power to tell others what they should and shouldn’t do...

"

Really? You might want to rethink that statement...


"

I think if you can get away with something like that... why not...

If it’s the wrong thing to do... you’ll end up learning a lesson... but we all do things we perhaps shouldn’t...

It’s not the worst thing that’s happening in the world... and as a man, you should be comfortable enough in your sexuality to react to such a situation like a gent

The way I see it... with knowing a few transgender people...

If a Trans Girl can pass as a Genetic Woman... it must make them feel vindicated after all the negative comments... and all the people that have put them down and stood in their way...

It also must be one of those difficult things that they don’t like to mention... because they feel like it holds them back from being accepted as a normal human being...

A bit like if you had to declare a silly thing that happened to you when you were 15 every time you applied for a new job, for the rest of your life... and watching people’s eyes glaze over and start to judge you (but a million times worse)

I don’t know how I’d feel if the girl I’d fallen for told me she was transgender... but it certainly wouldn’t kill me, them or anyone else...

It’s alright having an opinion when you were lucky enough to be born into the right body, with no disabilities, white skin, and a middle class family...

But your opinions should never come from the point of view of somebody who has nothing to worry about... your opinions should always consider how you would feel, if you were considered as a lesser human, just because you were born differently to everyone else"

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By *arkRichMan
over a year ago

Manchester City Centre


"My opinion is this...

Nobody has the power to tell others what they should and shouldn’t do...

Really? You might want to rethink that statement...

"

What a mega nitpicky comment

But.. Nope...

Genuinely my opinion...

We’re all equal

You can definitely rob a bank...

or run naked through your local ASDA...

Nobody can tell you not to...

and they shouldn’t need to..

But... like I said... there are consequences

And most Adults of sound mind are aware of the consequences of their actions...

this is how the legal system works

But nobody has the power to tell people what they should and shouldn’t do... especially in the situation mentioned in the topic

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"My opinion is this...

Nobody has the power to tell others what they should and shouldn’t do...

Really? You might want to rethink that statement...

What a mega nitpicky comment

But.. Nope...

Genuinely my opinion...

We’re all equal

You can definitely rob a bank...

or run naked through your local ASDA...

Nobody can tell you not to...

and they shouldn’t need to..

But... like I said... there are consequences

And most Adults of sound mind are aware of the consequences of their actions...

this is how the legal system works

But nobody has the power to tell people what they should and shouldn’t do... especially in the situation mentioned in the topic"

That statement contradicts itself. Clearly some people do have the power otherwise there wouldn't be consequences.

So is your arguement basically an anarchist position of 'they don't have to tell but don't be surprised if the guy flips out on you if he finds out?"

Are you also saying that if your mate came to you and said he was planning to rob a bank, then you wouldn't try and talk him out of it?

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By *arkRichMan
over a year ago

Manchester City Centre


"My opinion is this...

Nobody has the power to tell others what they should and shouldn’t do...

Really? You might want to rethink that statement...

What a mega nitpicky comment

But.. Nope...

Genuinely my opinion...

We’re all equal

You can definitely rob a bank...

or run naked through your local ASDA...

Nobody can tell you not to...

and they shouldn’t need to..

But... like I said... there are consequences

And most Adults of sound mind are aware of the consequences of their actions...

this is how the legal system works

But nobody has the power to tell people what they should and shouldn’t do... especially in the situation mentioned in the topic

That statement contradicts itself. Clearly some people do have the power otherwise there wouldn't be consequences.

So is your arguement basically an anarchist position of 'they don't have to tell but don't be surprised if the guy flips out on you if he finds out?"

Are you also saying that if your mate came to you and said he was planning to rob a bank, then you wouldn't try and talk him out of it? "

Again with the nitpicking...

Yes... I don’t have the power to tell my mate what he should and shouldn’t do...

We are all equal...

Of course I would mention it to him, about the consequences bit...

But my mates are all pretty clever... and I bet yours are too

They’d be like,

“Chill bro... I’ve seen the telly, innit”

“We’ve got dem ski masks n ting”

My statement doesn’t contradict itself...

Really mega weird that this is something that annoyed you though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...

It’s alright having an opinion when you were lucky enough to be born into the right body, with no disabilities, white skin, and a middle class family...

But your opinions should never come from the point of view of somebody who has nothing to worry about... your opinions should always consider how you would feel, if you were considered as a lesser human, just because you were born differently to everyone else"

I do consider how the other person would feel. I once met a woman who'd had a mastectomy. She hadn't mentioned it before meeting. It was a surprise and she could see it on my face. It was incredibly awkward for both of us. If I'd known in advance it would have been very different.

She obviously thought I found her disgusting but I didn't at all. It didn't matter what I said it just made the situation worse.

If I met a woman and she had a cock, or a man and he had scars showing he'd had breasts removed, I would be surprised and unable to hide it. That's not fair on either of us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know enough about a penis on a ftm so I can't really say. Don't think it would work for someone wanting to be splattered with cum though.

Most transgender women have not have surgery, so have male genitals. "

I was talking female to male trans. I wouldn't be talking to male to female in regards to having sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nope, she's a woman. Non of your business.

Really?

So say a Trans woman with penis and testicles meets a man who believes she is biological woman. Is it not rather dangerous not to tell the man that fact in advance. Some react very badly to discovering someone they thought was a biological woman isn't.

A transvestite is usually someone who dresses for pleasure.

A transexual is usually in the process of transitioning.

A transgender person is usually someone who has completed their transition. Therefore, M2F is a woman. Nobodies business what used to be in her pants."

Except where bearing children is concerned. A man looking for a wife to have children with should be told.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"My opinion is this...

Nobody has the power to tell others what they should and shouldn’t do...

Really? You might want to rethink that statement...

What a mega nitpicky comment

But.. Nope...

Genuinely my opinion...

We’re all equal

You can definitely rob a bank...

or run naked through your local ASDA...

Nobody can tell you not to...

and they shouldn’t need to..

But... like I said... there are consequences

And most Adults of sound mind are aware of the consequences of their actions...

this is how the legal system works

But nobody has the power to tell people what they should and shouldn’t do... especially in the situation mentioned in the topic

That statement contradicts itself. Clearly some people do have the power otherwise there wouldn't be consequences.

So is your arguement basically an anarchist position of 'they don't have to tell but don't be surprised if the guy flips out on you if he finds out?"

Are you also saying that if your mate came to you and said he was planning to rob a bank, then you wouldn't try and talk him out of it?

Again with the nitpicking...

Yes... I don’t have the power to tell my mate what he should and shouldn’t do...

We are all equal...

Of course I would mention it to him, about the consequences bit...

But my mates are all pretty clever... and I bet yours are too

They’d be like,

“Chill bro... I’ve seen the telly, innit”

“We’ve got dem ski masks n ting”

My statement doesn’t contradict itself...

Really mega weird that this is something that annoyed you though "

I understand if you find it weird that it annoys me. It does annoy me and I'm sure you contradicted yourself again but I'm just going to leave it because I don't think you were trying to make such a profound statement as it first seemed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't meet women so I don't mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My opinion is this...

Nobody has the power to tell others what they should and shouldn’t do...

I think if you can get away with something like that... why not...

If it’s the wrong thing to do... you’ll end up learning a lesson... but we all do things we perhaps shouldn’t...

It’s not the worst thing that’s happening in the world... and as a man, you should be comfortable enough in your sexuality to react to such a situation like a gent

The way I see it... with knowing a few transgender people...

If a Trans Girl can pass as a Genetic Woman... it must make them feel vindicated after all the negative comments... and all the people that have put them down and stood in their way...

It also must be one of those difficult things that they don’t like to mention... because they feel like it holds them back from being accepted as a normal human being...

A bit like if you had to declare a silly thing that happened to you when you were 15 every time you applied for a new job, for the rest of your life... and watching people’s eyes glaze over and start to judge you (but a million times worse)

I don’t know how I’d feel if the girl I’d fallen for told me she was transgender... but it certainly wouldn’t kill me, them or anyone else...

It’s alright having an opinion when you were lucky enough to be born into the right body, with no disabilities, white skin, and a middle class family...

But your opinions should never come from the point of view of somebody who has nothing to worry about... your opinions should always consider how you would feel, if you were considered as a lesser human, just because you were born differently to everyone else"

What about if you had black skin, we're born into an upper middle class family and had lived a privileged life (his words). Would he be allowed to want to be told?

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By *arkRichMan
over a year ago

Manchester City Centre


"...

It’s alright having an opinion when you were lucky enough to be born into the right body, with no disabilities, white skin, and a middle class family...

But your opinions should never come from the point of view of somebody who has nothing to worry about... your opinions should always consider how you would feel, if you were considered as a lesser human, just because you were born differently to everyone else

I do consider how the other person would feel. I once met a woman who'd had a mastectomy. She hadn't mentioned it before meeting. It was a surprise and she could see it on my face. It was incredibly awkward for both of us. If I'd known in advance it would have been very different.

She obviously thought I found her disgusting but I didn't at all. It didn't matter what I said it just made the situation worse.

If I met a woman and she had a cock, or a man and he had scars showing he'd had breasts removed, I would be surprised and unable to hide it. That's not fair on either of us. "

There’s probably a reason why people don’t mention these things though...

That look that you gave her probably taught her a lesson..

We should realise that people will make the same mistakes for centuries... and it’s not our job to tell them what they should and shouldn’t do...

For some people it’s experience is what teaches them these things...

I honestly think it’s up to the individual person...

If they get it wrong... then tough... deal with the consequences...

We shouldn’t be telling everyone what to do though... because people wouldn’t make mistakes, and learn lessons

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By *arkRichMan
over a year ago

Manchester City Centre


"My opinion is this...

Nobody has the power to tell others what they should and shouldn’t do...

I think if you can get away with something like that... why not...

If it’s the wrong thing to do... you’ll end up learning a lesson... but we all do things we perhaps shouldn’t...

It’s not the worst thing that’s happening in the world... and as a man, you should be comfortable enough in your sexuality to react to such a situation like a gent

The way I see it... with knowing a few transgender people...

If a Trans Girl can pass as a Genetic Woman... it must make them feel vindicated after all the negative comments... and all the people that have put them down and stood in their way...

It also must be one of those difficult things that they don’t like to mention... because they feel like it holds them back from being accepted as a normal human being...

A bit like if you had to declare a silly thing that happened to you when you were 15 every time you applied for a new job, for the rest of your life... and watching people’s eyes glaze over and start to judge you (but a million times worse)

I don’t know how I’d feel if the girl I’d fallen for told me she was transgender... but it certainly wouldn’t kill me, them or anyone else...

It’s alright having an opinion when you were lucky enough to be born into the right body, with no disabilities, white skin, and a middle class family...

But your opinions should never come from the point of view of somebody who has nothing to worry about... your opinions should always consider how you would feel, if you were considered as a lesser human, just because you were born differently to everyone else

What about if you had black skin, we're born into an upper middle class family and had lived a privileged life (his words). Would he be allowed to want to be told?"

It’s just a statement that Straight White Middle Classed, Heterosexual Men are usually the ones that are the least discriminated against in society in general...

If you fit into this category... then it’s sometimes difficult to judge others, if you’ve never been judged because of your gender, skin colour, sexuality, class, religion etc

You get me bro?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...

It’s alright having an opinion when you were lucky enough to be born into the right body, with no disabilities, white skin, and a middle class family...

But your opinions should never come from the point of view of somebody who has nothing to worry about... your opinions should always consider how you would feel, if you were considered as a lesser human, just because you were born differently to everyone else

I do consider how the other person would feel. I once met a woman who'd had a mastectomy. She hadn't mentioned it before meeting. It was a surprise and she could see it on my face. It was incredibly awkward for both of us. If I'd known in advance it would have been very different.

She obviously thought I found her disgusting but I didn't at all. It didn't matter what I said it just made the situation worse.

If I met a woman and she had a cock, or a man and he had scars showing he'd had breasts removed, I would be surprised and unable to hide it. That's not fair on either of us.

There’s probably a reason why people don’t mention these things though...

That look that you gave her probably taught her a lesson..

We should realise that people will make the same mistakes for centuries... and it’s not our job to tell them what they should and shouldn’t do...

For some people it’s experience is what teaches them these things...

I honestly think it’s up to the individual person...

If they get it wrong... then tough... deal with the consequences...

We shouldn’t be telling everyone what to do though... because people wouldn’t make mistakes, and learn lessons"

The look I gave her made her feel like shit. I doubt it taught her a lesson to be more upfront in the future. I probably put her off meeting anyone for ages.

I agree that people can't tell others what they should or shouldn't do. They are only really giving opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nope, she's a woman. Non of your business.

Really?

So say a Trans woman with penis and testicles meets a man who believes she is biological woman. Is it not rather dangerous not to tell the man that fact in advance. Some react very badly to discovering someone they thought was a biological woman isn't.

A transvestite is usually someone who dresses for pleasure.

A transexual is usually in the process of transitioning.

A transgender person is usually someone who has completed their transition. Therefore, M2F is a woman. Nobodies business what used to be in her pants."

Just confusion, folk have a right to know...

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

https://youtu.be/g2KsZHRrFpU

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By *exyangietgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

edinburgh

Only if the relationship was getting serious and you both wanted to be honest, open and intimate with each other.

XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"yes we should be told, some men would still view a trans woman as a male no matter and would feel like they have been conned and sexuality taken advantage of "

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"https://youtu.be/g2KsZHRrFpU"

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Only if they feel they need 2

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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago

C'est moi Boudoir


"IMHO, Each and every personal interaction between two people is exactly that. It's not something that can be generalised and there are no rights or wrongs that can be applied across the board.

What these sort of discussions still show me, is how far the Trans community still has left to go.. "

Well said. Each person's journey, transition and how they identify is also personal and can not be summed up as simply as boxing them off.

Do all the people wanting to be informed of a person's past demand the same of every encounter? The question the op put forward used the term had transitioned so it's to do with the person's past. And for a casual NSA encounter. No they do not have to divulge personal details of their past. No they are not morally obliged to do so as suggested above! And as for 99% of people thinking they should...No that is not factual either!

Powerful statement I heard awhile ago is the difference between gender and sexuality is gender is who you go to bed as and sexuality is who you go to bed with.

This is a gender topic not a sexuality one therefore does not warrant disclosure in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/06/18 06:10:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people should definitely 100% tell a sexual partner the truth about being trans, to hide the fact you were once a man from someone you are planning to be intimate with is just sneaky and wrong and you are conning someone into thinking you are someone you are not, im surprised there isnt some kinda law for this. Im not saying that every random you meet should be told and im not some kinda transphobic meanie either. In the eyes of the law and to people in your day to day lives yes you are a woman and I understand that and I will also see and refer to you as a woman, but as soon as things turn sexual you are no longer a woman... you are now a trans woman which sexualy is a whole other thing.

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By * and S partiesCouple
over a year ago

london

[Removed by poster at 24/06/18 21:35:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"not the business of some one you are going to be intimate with? disagree!"

There is no legal obligation for a person to disclose that aspect of their past. Strictly speaking it's nobody's business.

let's be honest,there may be a million and one things in anybody's past that, id known, could make another person change their mind. Who is to say which of those should be disclosed?

Everyone has a past, everyone has something they prefer to keep private.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

If it's a one off and the person is "automatically" correct then I wouldn't tell. People don't disclose everything about themselves.

Thing is though what happens when emotions come into play?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it's a one off and the person is "automatically" correct then I wouldn't tell. People don't disclose everything about themselves.

Thing is though what happens when emotions come into play? "

When emotions come into play? Well,as I imagine any intelligent person would do when about to disclose a major 'secret', a trans person would probably have attempted to predict the other persons likely reaction long before with subtle questions.Emotions usually only come into play when people get to know quite a lot about each other,don't they?

It's not the sort of thing that one would just blurt out any more than

any thing else of similar importance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely it is best to not say anything, until you do your big reveal on Jerry Springer and the bell starts ringing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to examine a couple of possible scenarios,if I may.

1) I'm in a bar and a guy takes a liking to me,we get chatting and we end up in a bedroom together.He likes what he sees and I like what I see,we end up in bed together.

Should I have told him my 'secret'? and ,if so,when?

2) A guy messages me on here,it becomes clear that he hasn't read and understood my profile but I agree to meet him anyway. He likes me and I like him,we end up in bed. Should I have been more persistent in finding out whether he knew and accepted my 'secret'? Who's responsibility is it if it ends in tears?

3) I see a guy I fancy and I make all the moves,we end up in bed and later,I find out something about him that would have changed my attitude had I known. Has he deceived me in any way because I never asked and the subject didn't come up?

It seems to me that the real issue is whether anyone can consider themselves to have been deceived into giving consent.

I would say that each case would have to be taken on its own merit and each person has a responsibility to find out facts which they would consider relevant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think Ronan said it best.

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By *ykmwyldTV/TS
over a year ago

Belpre

Everyone seems to make this issue so complicated, when it's not.

If you are a transgender woman, like myself, which means you still have your male parts down below, you should always tell a gentleman before anything even starts to happen, even before a kiss happens. That's only being fair to the gentleman.

If you are a transexual woman, which means you've had gender reassignment surgery and have female parts down below. Then the only

time you should tell a gentleman, is if it may lead to a relationship, or possibly marriage. That's only being fair to the gentleman, in case he wants you to have his children. Other than that, a transexual woman has no obligation what so ever to reveal her genetic male birth, because she is a woman at that point, a woman unable to have children, but a woman none the less.

Oh, just for educational purposes, since many people don't seem to know. The terms: tranny, she male, ladyboy, ect...ect..., were created by the porn industry and uneducated people. These terms are rude slangs that should not be used by anyone with class.

People must come to realize the fact, the female feelings these individuals have, they were born with, and those feminine feelings, and desires, naturally develop more and more as they grow into adulthood. Most learn to cope with it, in their own way. Unfortunately, some don't learn to cope with it, usually from outside negative stimuli, from family, so called friends, ect...ect..., and they feel they have no other alternative but to commit

suicide to stop the pain these people have caused.

So, give these individuals some common courtesy, their lives have been tough enough without anyones ignorant negativity towards them.

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London


"I'd like to examine a couple of possible scenarios,if I may.

1) I'm in a bar and a guy takes a liking to me,we get chatting and we end up in a bedroom together.He likes what he sees and I like what I see,we end up in bed together.

Should I have told him my 'secret'? and ,if so,when?

2) A guy messages me on here,it becomes clear that he hasn't read and understood my profile but I agree to meet him anyway. He likes me and I like him,we end up in bed. Should I have been more persistent in finding out whether he knew and accepted my 'secret'? Who's responsibility is it if it ends in tears?

3) I see a guy I fancy and I make all the moves,we end up in bed and later,I find out something about him that would have changed my attitude had I known. Has he deceived me in any way because I never asked and the subject didn't come up?

It seems to me that the real issue is whether anyone can consider themselves to have been deceived into giving consent.

I would say that each case would have to be taken on its own merit and each person has a responsibility to find out facts which they would consider relevant.

"

first of all, you are stunning. The only reason a guy should always be told is the simple fact, as I have said already, is that he might even in this day and age still see a woman as a man, and that would not be fair on him or his sexuality

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"I'd like to examine a couple of possible scenarios,if I may.

1) I'm in a bar and a guy takes a liking to me,we get chatting and we end up in a bedroom together.He likes what he sees and I like what I see,we end up in bed together.

Should I have told him my 'secret'? and ,if so,when?

2) A guy messages me on here,it becomes clear that he hasn't read and understood my profile but I agree to meet him anyway. He likes me and I like him,we end up in bed. Should I have been more persistent in finding out whether he knew and accepted my 'secret'? Who's responsibility is it if it ends in tears?

3) I see a guy I fancy and I make all the moves,we end up in bed and later,I find out something about him that would have changed my attitude had I known. Has he deceived me in any way because I never asked and the subject didn't come up?

It seems to me that the real issue is whether anyone can consider themselves to have been deceived into giving consent.

I would say that each case would have to be taken on its own merit and each person has a responsibility to find out facts which they would consider relevant.

"

I tend to agree that if you have fully transitioned and it's just a casual fuck, there's probably no obligation to tell someone.

However, it does bring up the issue as to what is involved in. "consent". There's lots of demands on here for married people to be honest about their status as to hide the fact of marriage you take away the choice of your potential sex partner. Some people will not have sex with married people, and, it is said, it's wrong to trick those people into having sex with you by hiding the fact you are married.

Isn't that the same with people a fully transitioned Trans woman? There are plenty of men who wouldn't have sex with Trans women if they knew they were Trans. Aren't you taking away such men's choices by not mentioning you are Trans?

(that's a generic "you" by the way. - not aimed at you personally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

YES, YES & YES!

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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago

C'est moi Boudoir

NSA casual fully transitioned then no.

In a relationship we open up and talk about our past but if the person has a problem then that is there problem. It's a part of the past and should stay there.

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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago

C'est moi Boudoir


"I'd like to examine a couple of possible scenarios,if I may.

1) I'm in a bar and a guy takes a liking to me,we get chatting and we end up in a bedroom together.He likes what he sees and I like what I see,we end up in bed together.

Should I have told him my 'secret'? and ,if so,when?

2) A guy messages me on here,it becomes clear that he hasn't read and understood my profile but I agree to meet him anyway. He likes me and I like him,we end up in bed. Should I have been more persistent in finding out whether he knew and accepted my 'secret'? Who's responsibility is it if it ends in tears?

3) I see a guy I fancy and I make all the moves,we end up in bed and later,I find out something about him that would have changed my attitude had I known. Has he deceived me in any way because I never asked and the subject didn't come up?

It seems to me that the real issue is whether anyone can consider themselves to have been deceived into giving consent.

I would say that each case would have to be taken on its own merit and each person has a responsibility to find out facts which they would consider relevant.

I tend to agree that if you have fully transitioned and it's just a casual fuck, there's probably no obligation to tell someone.

However, it does bring up the issue as to what is involved in. "consent". There's lots of demands on here for married people to be honest about their status as to hide the fact of marriage you take away the choice of your potential sex partner. Some people will not have sex with married people, and, it is said, it's wrong to trick those people into having sex with you by hiding the fact you are married.

Isn't that the same with people a fully transitioned Trans woman? There are plenty of men who wouldn't have sex with Trans women if they knew they were Trans. Aren't you taking away such men's choices by not mentioning you are Trans?

(that's a generic "you" by the way. - not aimed at you personally "

Married is current and transition is past so no they are not the same on so many levels

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"I'd like to examine a couple of possible scenarios,if I may.

1) I'm in a bar and a guy takes a liking to me,we get chatting and we end up in a bedroom together.He likes what he sees and I like what I see,we end up in bed together.

Should I have told him my 'secret'? and ,if so,when?

2) A guy messages me on here,it becomes clear that he hasn't read and understood my profile but I agree to meet him anyway. He likes me and I like him,we end up in bed. Should I have been more persistent in finding out whether he knew and accepted my 'secret'? Who's responsibility is it if it ends in tears?

3) I see a guy I fancy and I make all the moves,we end up in bed and later,I find out something about him that would have changed my attitude had I known. Has he deceived me in any way because I never asked and the subject didn't come up?

It seems to me that the real issue is whether anyone can consider themselves to have been deceived into giving consent.

I would say that each case would have to be taken on its own merit and each person has a responsibility to find out facts which they would consider relevant.

I tend to agree that if you have fully transitioned and it's just a casual fuck, there's probably no obligation to tell someone.

However, it does bring up the issue as to what is involved in. "consent". There's lots of demands on here for married people to be honest about their status as to hide the fact of marriage you take away the choice of your potential sex partner. Some people will not have sex with married people, and, it is said, it's wrong to trick those people into having sex with you by hiding the fact you are married.

Isn't that the same with people a fully transitioned Trans woman? There are plenty of men who wouldn't have sex with Trans women if they knew they were Trans. Aren't you taking away such men's choices by not mentioning you are Trans?

(that's a generic "you" by the way. - not aimed at you personally

Married is current and transition is past so no they are not the same on so many levels"

Your status as someone who wasn't born female is very much not in the past.

My point is that if you know there is something about you that may be a deal breaker when it comes to someone having sex with you, do you have an obligation to tell someone about that?

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London

i think a bi guy would have no problem but there is a big chance a straight guy would not like the fact, the lady was once a man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd like to examine a couple of possible scenarios,if I may.

1) I'm in a bar and a guy takes a liking to me,we get chatting and we end up in a bedroom together.He likes what he sees and I like what I see,we end up in bed together.

Should I have told him my 'secret'? and ,if so,when?

2) A guy messages me on here,it becomes clear that he hasn't read and understood my profile but I agree to meet him anyway. He likes me and I like him,we end up in bed. Should I have been more persistent in finding out whether he knew and accepted my 'secret'? Who's responsibility is it if it ends in tears?

3) I see a guy I fancy and I make all the moves,we end up in bed and later,I find out something about him that would have changed my attitude had I known. Has he deceived me in any way because I never asked and the subject didn't come up?

It seems to me that the real issue is whether anyone can consider themselves to have been deceived into giving consent.

I would say that each case would have to be taken on its own merit and each person has a responsibility to find out facts which they would consider relevant.

I tend to agree that if you have fully transitioned and it's just a casual fuck, there's probably no obligation to tell someone.

However, it does bring up the issue as to what is involved in. "consent". There's lots of demands on here for married people to be honest about their status as to hide the fact of marriage you take away the choice of your potential sex partner. Some people will not have sex with married people, and, it is said, it's wrong to trick those people into having sex with you by hiding the fact you are married.

Isn't that the same with people a fully transitioned Trans woman? There are plenty of men who wouldn't have sex with Trans women if they knew they were Trans. Aren't you taking away such men's choices by not mentioning you are Trans?

(that's a generic "you" by the way. - not aimed at you personally "

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

I usually chat a lot before meeting so I'd imagine a bit of life history would be discussed. Is prefer to know, not because it makes me see them differently (I've fucked and dated trans women and had great times) but from a practical level many trans women's vaginas don't self lubricate. It's just good to know that is not because she's not turned on and that she just needs a bit of lube.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Incidentally,I have encountered all 3 of the scenarios I proposed,more than once.

I do know that in none of them is there a legal issue about consent, not even with a married guy failing to disclose that fact to me and not with me not disclosing my confidential medical history.

That last phrase may be worth remembering for those who would like to tell people what they 'should' do.

The only person who can tell me What to disclose is me. And that goes for any other woman in the same situation.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Incidentally,I have encountered all 3 of the scenarios I proposed,more than once.

I do know that in none of them is there a legal issue about consent, not even with a married guy failing to disclose that fact to me and not with me not disclosing my confidential medical history.

That last phrase may be worth remembering for those who would like to tell people what they 'should' do.

The only person who can tell me What to disclose is me. And that goes for any other woman in the same situation."

I appreciate that there is no legal issue around consent in any of the situations I mentioned. I was talking more about what people feel is ethically right.

Obviously, in general it's no one's business whether you are married, transgender or whatever, but doesn't the situation change when you are having sex with someone? If you are about to have sex with someone and you believe there is a good chance they wouldn't have sex with you if they knew about factor x (married, transgender or anything else), are you not under a moral obligation to tell them?

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By *anTouchThisCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Is this not comparing apples and pears?

The ethical/moral argument holds little water for someone who has transitioned. Ethically/morally, should they be treated differently in any aspect of their lives compared to someone born to that gender? No. So why highlight it for casual sex? If a man was willing up until the point of this revelation, does it not simply expose their phobias and flawed thought processes to arrive at this conclusion? I can't think of a moral/ethical reason that would defy this. If considering a long term relationship the issue of childbearing and/or medical emergency etc would potentially require discussion, but this isn't a consideration for NSA sex.

The married cheat argument is altogether in a different category, bringing in ongoing relationships with third parties and possible repercussions from that with all involved. It is not simply an emotional choice, it is practical.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Incidentally,I have encountered all 3 of the scenarios I proposed,more than once.

I do know that in none of them is there a legal issue about consent, not even with a married guy failing to disclose that fact to me and not with me not disclosing my confidential medical history.

That last phrase may be worth remembering for those who would like to tell people what they 'should' do.

The only person who can tell me What to disclose is me. And that goes for any other woman in the same situation.

I appreciate that there is no legal issue around consent in any of the situations I mentioned. I was talking more about what people feel is ethically right.

Obviously, in general it's no one's business whether you are married, transgender or whatever, but doesn't the situation change when you are having sex with someone? If you are about to have sex with someone and you believe there is a good chance they wouldn't have sex with you if they knew about factor x (married, transgender or anything else), are you not under a moral obligation to tell them? "

As pointed out in my scenarios, context makes all the difference.

If someone comes to me then I don't feel under any obligation to tell them anything. If I was doing the chasing, maybe but that is totally hypothetical.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this not comparing apples and pears?

The ethical/moral argument holds little water for someone who has transitioned. Ethically/morally, should they be treated differently in any aspect of their lives compared to someone born to that gender? No. So why highlight it for casual sex? If a man was willing up until the point of this revelation, does it not simply expose their phobias and flawed thought processes to arrive at this conclusion? I can't think of a moral/ethical reason that would defy this. If considering a long term relationship the issue of childbearing and/or medical emergency etc would potentially require discussion, but this isn't a consideration for NSA sex.

The married cheat argument is altogether in a different category, bringing in ongoing relationships with third parties and possible repercussions from that with all involved. It is not simply an emotional choice, it is practical. "

I just raised that as an example of a pertinent fact that would influence my decision if I'd known.

In itself,I don't think failure to disclose could be construed as obtaining consent by deception.

In either case.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Is this not comparing apples and pears?

The ethical/moral argument holds little water for someone who has transitioned. Ethically/morally, should they be treated differently in any aspect of their lives compared to someone born to that gender? No. So why highlight it for casual sex? If a man was willing up until the point of this revelation, does it not simply expose their phobias and flawed thought processes to arrive at this conclusion? I can't think of a moral/ethical reason that would defy this. If considering a long term relationship the issue of childbearing and/or medical emergency etc would potentially require discussion, but this isn't a consideration for NSA sex.

The married cheat argument is altogether in a different category, bringing in ongoing relationships with third parties and possible repercussions from that with all involved. It is not simply an emotional choice, it is practical. "

OK, put it this way. Would you think there was any ethical obligation for a man who had done time for sex offences to reveal this fact?

Obviously, I am not suggesting trans people are akin to sex offenders, just pursuing the argument that as long as there are no third parties involved material non disclosure is not wrong when it comes to sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this not comparing apples and pears?

The ethical/moral argument holds little water for someone who has transitioned. Ethically/morally, should they be treated differently in any aspect of their lives compared to someone born to that gender? No. So why highlight it for casual sex? If a man was willing up until the point of this revelation, does it not simply expose their phobias and flawed thought processes to arrive at this conclusion? I can't think of a moral/ethical reason that would defy this. If considering a long term relationship the issue of childbearing and/or medical emergency etc would potentially require discussion, but this isn't a consideration for NSA sex.

The married cheat argument is altogether in a different category, bringing in ongoing relationships with third parties and possible repercussions from that with all involved. It is not simply an emotional choice, it is practical.

OK, put it this way. Would you think there was any ethical obligation for a man who had done time for sex offences to reveal this fact?

Obviously, I am not suggesting trans people are akin to sex offenders, just pursuing the argument that as long as there are no third parties involved material non disclosure is not wrong when it comes to sex. "

While I would imagine that disclosure of those sort of conviction would influence the decision, I really dont think non disclosure could be seen as tricking someone into bed.

It is also quite possible that,having got to really like someone,pretty much anything in their past could be forgiven. (If they were genuinely remorseful about something a long time ago).

As I've stated before,we all have a past.Who we tell and what we tell is our own business.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Ffs, people...just be nice to each other. Communicate. Be respectful. It shouldn't be difficult. And even if you don't fancy a person, you may still end up with a brilliant friend...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this not comparing apples and pears?

The ethical/moral argument holds little water for someone who has transitioned. Ethically/morally, should they be treated differently in any aspect of their lives compared to someone born to that gender? No. So why highlight it for casual sex? If a man was willing up until the point of this revelation, does it not simply expose their phobias and flawed thought processes to arrive at this conclusion? I can't think of a moral/ethical reason that would defy this. If considering a long term relationship the issue of childbearing and/or medical emergency etc would potentially require discussion, but this isn't a consideration for NSA sex.

The married cheat argument is altogether in a different category, bringing in ongoing relationships with third parties and possible repercussions from that with all involved. It is not simply an emotional choice, it is practical.

OK, put it this way. Would you think there was any ethical obligation for a man who had done time for sex offences to reveal this fact?

Obviously, I am not suggesting trans people are akin to sex offenders, just pursuing the argument that as long as there are no third parties involved material non disclosure is not wrong when it comes to sex.

While I would imagine that disclosure of those sort of conviction would influence the decision, I really dont think non disclosure could be seen as tricking someone into bed.

It is also quite possible that,having got to really like someone,pretty much anything in their past could be forgiven. (If they were genuinely remorseful about something a long time ago).

As I've stated before,we all have a past.Who we tell and what we tell is our own business."

The main difference,though,is that a person who has undergone transition has harmed no one in the process (maybe harmed themselves...I'll concede that..maybe).

They are also,statistically,unlikely to do it again,which could be a concern if dating a former sex offender.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ffs, people...just be nice to each other. Communicate. Be respectful. It shouldn't be difficult. And even if you don't fancy a person, you may still end up with a brilliant friend... "

We are communicating.We are having a respectful discussion about an issue that could have implications beyond the original subject that could affect anyone ne.

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk


"not the business of some one you are going to be intimate with? disagree!"

But if they have went the full way of transitioning (I assume) they identify as female.

So no I don't see why they would need to tell you.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"Ffs, people...just be nice to each other. Communicate. Be respectful. It shouldn't be difficult. And even if you don't fancy a person, you may still end up with a brilliant friend...

We are communicating.We are having a respectful discussion about an issue that could have implications beyond the original subject that could affect anyone ne. "

Was talking about when chatting to an individual person, deciding whether or not to meet..

But I am pleased that this conversation is also respectful while exploring ideas..xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another way to look at the matter is this...if someone felt they jad been deceived by someone else not telling them something which they thought was important, then the other person could easily counter that by saying they had no way of knowing what the other person considered important as they are not a mind reader.

That seemed a bit convoluted even for me,so let me give an example.

A guy sleeps with me without the subject ever coming up.

Later,he finds out and feels aggrieved because I should have told him...It's important.

I say 'well,It's not important to me.How was I supposed to know it was important to you? You never said..I'm not a mind reader'.

I dont see why the onus should be on me to guess what someone else would like to know.

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London


"not the business of some one you are going to be intimate with? disagree!

But if they have went the full way of transitioning (I assume) they identify as female.

So no I don't see why they would need to tell you.

"

because a guy might still see the woman as a man so there fore he would feel like he has been with a man when he is str8 so thats unfair on him

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It depends why you're meeting - many people get together for socials.

Socials are in contrast to a meet where there's no communication at all but, for example, a woman shoves her orifice over a bloke's cock. That sort of interaction would be at the other end of the meet spectrum from some people getting together in a coffee klatch/clutch.

I'm generally inclined to consider that transgendered people should only out themselves to those that they're comfortable doing so with: if they've not met someone before, it could be seen as too early for them to take such a risk. There's enormous prejudice against and dangers for transgender people, so safety has to be of great importance for someone venturing into public, meeting others who may impose risks to their well-being. It can be harder for those of difference to understand people not like themselves - and often many people only consider their own side of a situation, not wanting to view things empathetically from another's perspective. If you don't run the same risks of attack and murder, then you'll perhaps find it harder to feel the dangers that many people are under. You can stay within your own cocoon, or you allow yourself to become a little more progressive.

Gender is a somewhat more complex aspect of people than we'd perhaps like, or have studied in depth. Then again, people are complex - and all the more interesting, because of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

because a guy might still see the woman as a man so there fore he would feel like he has been with a man when he is str8 so thats unfair on him"

That has the feel of completely shifting levels of responsibility...

If guy (or anyone else) has that point of view, then it is his reposibility to deal with his own issues - not for someone else to have to accommodate them!

If anyone can't deal with people having their individual quirks and history, then perhaps they should forget about swinging and choose a simpler hobby....

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London


"

because a guy might still see the woman as a man so there fore he would feel like he has been with a man when he is str8 so thats unfair on him

That has the feel of completely shifting levels of responsibility...

If guy (or anyone else) has that point of view, then it is his reposibility to deal with his own issues - not for someone else to have to accommodate them!

If anyone can't deal with people having their individual quirks and history, then perhaps they should forget about swinging and choose a simpler hobby....

"

nothing to do with swinging, that is not my view by the way im just saying what i think a lot of str8 men would think

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"

I'm generally inclined to consider that transgendered people should only out themselves to those that they're comfortable doing so with: if they've not met someone before, it could be seen as too early for them to take such a risk. "

My experience of watching Jerry Springer would suggest that people's reactions don't get better over time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

because a guy might still see the woman as a man so there fore he would feel like he has been with a man when he is str8 so thats unfair on him

That has the feel of completely shifting levels of responsibility...

If guy (or anyone else) has that point of view, then it is his reposibility to deal with his own issues - not for someone else to have to accommodate them!

If anyone can't deal with people having their individual quirks and history, then perhaps they should forget about swinging and choose a simpler hobby....

nothing to do with swinging, that is not my view by the way im just saying what i think a lot of str8 men would think"

Then your hypothetical straight man shouldn't have "been with" her in the first place - it's no good changing your feelings and opinions after the event as you seem to suggest that he might...

I would have hoped that any man that's worth anything would simply back out of the situation at the point that he became uncomfotable - why is that so difficult?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

because a guy might still see the woman as a man so there fore he would feel like he has been with a man when he is str8 so thats unfair on him

That has the feel of completely shifting levels of responsibility...

If guy (or anyone else) has that point of view, then it is his reposibility to deal with his own issues - not for someone else to have to accommodate them!

If anyone can't deal with people having their individual quirks and history, then perhaps they should forget about swinging and choose a simpler hobby....

nothing to do with swinging, that is not my view by the way im just saying what i think a lot of str8 men would think

Then your hypothetical straight man shouldn't have "been with" her in the first place - it's no good changing your feelings and opinions after the event as you seem to suggest that he might...

I would have hoped that any man that's worth anything would simply back out of the situation at the point that he became uncomfotable - why is that so difficult?"

But that's the point- if she didn't tell him beforehand, how could he back out of the situation?

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London


"

because a guy might still see the woman as a man so there fore he would feel like he has been with a man when he is str8 so thats unfair on him

That has the feel of completely shifting levels of responsibility...

If guy (or anyone else) has that point of view, then it is his reposibility to deal with his own issues - not for someone else to have to accommodate them!

If anyone can't deal with people having their individual quirks and history, then perhaps they should forget about swinging and choose a simpler hobby....

nothing to do with swinging, that is not my view by the way im just saying what i think a lot of str8 men would think

Then your hypothetical straight man shouldn't have "been with" her in the first place - it's no good changing your feelings and opinions after the event as you seem to suggest that he might...

I would have hoped that any man that's worth anything would simply back out of the situation at the point that he became uncomfotable - why is that so difficult?"

why would he back out when he hasnt been told?

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk


"not the business of some one you are going to be intimate with? disagree!

But if they have went the full way of transitioning (I assume) they identify as female.

So no I don't see why they would need to tell you.

because a guy might still see the woman as a man so there fore he would feel like he has been with a man when he is str8 so thats unfair on him"

If we are talking about finding out after they had sex I think it's irrelevant. The guy identifies her as a female enough to want to have sex her.

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By *rwhite30Man
over a year ago

deptford London


"not the business of some one you are going to be intimate with? disagree!

But if they have went the full way of transitioning (I assume) they identify as female.

So no I don't see why they would need to tell you.

because a guy might still see the woman as a man so there fore he would feel like he has been with a man when he is str8 so thats unfair on him

If we are talking about finding out after they had sex I think it's irrelevant. The guy identifies her as a female enough to want to have sex her."

but once told would think completely different

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

For information on the actual legal position here, regarding gender disclosure vs. disclosure of other pertinant facts (eg. marital status, hiv, history of violence, race, religion) please google for articles by Prof Alex Sharpe (Keele University, department of law), who is one of the world's leading experts in this field.

Eg. Oslo Lecture "Sexual Intimacy, Gender History and Criminal Law" (12th December 2014)

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

If a guy cannot deduce beforehand that his conquest may be a "woman with a history", what difference does it make afterwards?

Does it somehow make what went before any less pleasurable?

Perhaps he ought to compliment the woman for such an amazing transition, rather than bring out his internalised homo or trans phobia.

He saw her as a woman before. See her as a woman now. End of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If a guy cannot deduce beforehand that his conquest may be a "woman with a history", what difference does it make afterwards?

Does it somehow make what went before any less pleasurable?

Perhaps he ought to compliment the woman for such an amazing transition, rather than bring out his internalised homo or trans phobia.

He saw her as a woman before. See her as a woman now. End of."

I’d still like to know though, think it’s only fair.

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East


"

I’d still like to know though, think it’s only fair."

I can understand that.

I guess everyone on here conceals some elements of the truth.

Different strokes for different people.

Lying is something different.

Comes down to respect - for the self and each other - at the end of the day.

Some may feel obliged, some may not. Some declare it via their labelling, some won't.

At the end of the day, we all have to make judgements about how much of the truth about ourselves we share with another.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/06/18 19:16:33]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For information on the actual legal position here, regarding gender disclosure vs. disclosure of other pertinant facts (eg. marital status, hiv, history of violence, race, religion) please google for articles by Prof Alex Sharpe (Keele University, department of law), who is one of the world's leading experts in this field.

Eg. Oslo Lecture "Sexual Intimacy, Gender History and Criminal Law" (12th December 2014)"

I think that pretty much vindicates what I have said all along. The fact that a person's medical history is confidential and that the equality act forbids treating trans (among others) persons any differently means that they (we) are the ones to decide whom to tell and what to tell them.

Those who insist they have a right to know...you don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Incidentally, it may be worth noting that, in some circumstances, disclosing another person's trans history without their consent, can be a criminal offence.

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By *witch4Fun24Couple
over a year ago

Leicester


"Nope, she's a woman. Non of your business.

Really?

So say a Trans woman with penis and testicles meets a man who believes she is biological woman. Is it not rather dangerous not to tell the man that fact in advance. Some react very badly to discovering someone they thought was a biological woman isn't.

A transvestite is usually someone who dresses for pleasure.

A transexual is usually in the process of transitioning.

A transgender person is usually someone who has completed their transition. Therefore, M2F is a woman. Nobodies business what used to be in her pants.

I think you are a bit behind the times on that. Most self identified transgender women still have male genitals.

I've numerous trans friends. I'm part of a queer and trans community. To suggest I'm behind the times is laughable when I'm surrounded by these people.

From my knowledge of the Trans community, there is a very strong objection to the idea that you are not transgender unless you have completed a transition (by which I assume you mean genital surgery).

As I say most people who identify as trans women have a penis and I think it's entirely reasonable for their potential sexual partners to be made aware of that fact. "

Same, I am a youth worker specialising in Transitioning people aged 14-30. I don't know a single young adult who would class themselves as transsexual until they have had their surgeries. Mainly because many do not in fact have a full medical transition and all surgeries. The term Transsexual is now very outdated although sometimes used in very select circles within the community. In the past 10 years when the difference between sex and gender became more commonly known the term Transgender became the norm due to the person changing their gender and not their biological sex. Namely because gene therapy for transitioning isn't quite available on the market yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you think if someone has had a sex change from male to female you should be told before you meet them ??"

Yes indeed you should

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By *witch4Fun24Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

If someone was to call me Transsexual instead of Transgender because I have not as of yet had any surgeries there would be very serious words had. The level of transition a transperson achieves is entirely their own choice and having to "earn" the term transgender by having surgeries is a concept massively abhorrent to me. We have enough hoops to jump through without the idea of being transitioned enough to be transgender.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nope, she's a woman. Non of your business.

Really?

So say a Trans woman with penis and testicles meets a man who believes she is biological woman. Is it not rather dangerous not to tell the man that fact in advance. Some react very badly to discovering someone they thought was a biological woman isn't.

spot on! to me even if the operation has happened they should be told, i know many guys who would be so angry if they were not told"

Even more so if they had a bigger penis hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ofcourse you should intimacy is based on trust I don't understand people who get off on tricking straight men its dangerous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not read all through the thread ....but I think it will be all the usual suspects jumping on Thier high horses

Anyhow yes I would like to be told as I would not want to engage with a transcended lady

...just my preference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Transgendered even

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not read all through the thread ....but I think it will be all the usual suspects jumping on Thier high horses

Anyhow yes I would like to be told as I would not want to engage with a transcended lady

...just my preference "

Not read through all the thread?

It shows.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not read all through the thread ....but I think it will be all the usual suspects jumping on Thier high horses

Anyhow yes I would like to be told as I would not want to engage with a transcended lady

...just my preference

Not read through all the thread?

It shows."

Sorry you sort off put me off it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not read all through the thread ....but I think it will be all the usual suspects jumping on Thier high horses

Anyhow yes I would like to be told as I would not want to engage with a transcended lady

...just my preference

Not read through all the thread?

It shows.

Sorry you sort off put me off it "

By having relevant opinions?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not read all through the thread ....but I think it will be all the usual suspects jumping on Thier high horses

Anyhow yes I would like to be told as I would not want to engage with a transcended lady

...just my preference

Not read through all the thread?

It shows.

Sorry you sort off put me off it

By having relevant opinions?"

Thats it though isn't it!

I posted ed my opinion and preference...but you could not resist jumping on it...we are all never going to agree on this subject so I find it easier to just state my preference on it..right?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not read all through the thread ....but I think it will be all the usual suspects jumping on Thier high horses

Anyhow yes I would like to be told as I would not want to engage with a transcended lady

...just my preference

Not read through all the thread?

It shows.

Sorry you sort off put me off it

By having relevant opinions?

Thats it though isn't it!

I posted ed my opinion and preference...but you could not resist jumping on it...we are all never going to agree on this subject so I find it easier to just state my preference on it..right?"

If you think the thread is all about individual preferences then it really does show that you didnt read it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not read all through the thread ....but I think it will be all the usual suspects jumping on Thier high horses

Anyhow yes I would like to be told as I would not want to engage with a transcended lady

...just my preference

Not read through all the thread?

It shows.

Sorry you sort off put me off it

By having relevant opinions?

Thats it though isn't it!

I posted ed my opinion and preference...but you could not resist jumping on it...we are all never going to agree on this subject so I find it easier to just state my preference on it..right?

If you think the thread is all about individual preferences then it really does show that you didnt read it."

Aw ffs let it go....my opening words were saying I didn't read it....I don't have the time or inclination to read through every thread ....and let's be honest once you read it once....repeats become a little repetitive to me.

I hope you find that enough not not feel the need to reply.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not read all through the thread ....but I think it will be all the usual suspects jumping on Thier high horses

Anyhow yes I would like to be told as I would not want to engage with a transcended lady

...just my preference

Not read through all the thread?

It shows.

Sorry you sort off put me off it

By having relevant opinions?

Thats it though isn't it!

I posted ed my opinion and preference...but you could not resist jumping on it...we are all never going to agree on this subject so I find it easier to just state my preference on it..right?

If you think the thread is all about individual preferences then it really does show that you didnt read it."

The OP was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its morally right to tell someone you are about to have sex with that you are trans, deep down inside you know its only right to tell and that this is a topic that you should be upfront about when it comes to sex and unfortunately comes hand in hand with being trans and is something all trans people should realise, and I think that the only reason you wouldnt tell someone isnt because you think its none of their business or for safety reasons but more because you are only thinking about getting yourself laid and telling them may ruin your chances. As a straight man id be mortified if I found out that I was being lied to and would basically feel sickened and "used". I said in a previous post that its sneaky and disgusting behaviour not to be upfront about something as big as being trans because there is a world of difference between being a woman and being a trans woman, they are two completely different things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this has more to do with how the other person feels rather than the trans person tbh. I understand and appreciate their beliefs but that doesn’t override or discount the beliefs of those that think sex and gender are not solely based on state of mind.

The Gayle Newland case, although not trans related, highlighted the consent issues around non disclosure, and I personally think my right to know that information is more important than a trans person’s right to privacy, as it would mean my consent would be removed completely.

We should treat everyone with respect and allow them to be who they want to be, but at the same time that respect and treatment should be returned for those who don’t feel the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey my lovely Fab friends, hope that you’re all well and having a very naughty weekend!

Today I’m feeling really kinky, and very naughty. I’ve always had a soft spot for trans girls. Sometimes you just meet one that’s so cute, so naughty, so slutty and damn sexy that you just can’t help yourself!

I’ve decided that I’d like to meet a sexy TS, TV or CD to be my girlfriend. If there are any sexy trans girls that are naughty, fun and are looking for a genuine hung and cheeky bf, please message me

Bye for now xx

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

From the Trans gender people that I've met (socially) I've always been able to tell so I didn't need to be told.

If I couldn't tell then I wouldn't care to know.

I'm not attracted to masculine looking women regardless of wether they've transitioned or they born female

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport


"Hey my lovely Fab friends, hope that you’re all well and having a very naughty weekend!

Today I’m feeling really kinky, and very naughty. I’ve always had a soft spot for trans girls. Sometimes you just meet one that’s so cute, so naughty, so slutty and damn sexy that you just can’t help yourself!

I’ve decided that I’d like to meet a sexy TS, TV or CD to be my girlfriend. If there are any sexy trans girls that are naughty, fun and are looking for a genuine hung and cheeky bf, please message me

Bye for now xx"

Not really appropriate for this thread, which is a serious discussion of moral and legal rights for trans and cis people.

Perhaps you should create your own thread in the "meets" section of the forum. Thank you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *arroness NikkiWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Do you think if someone has had a sex change from male to female you should be told before you meet them ??"

No

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you think if someone has had a sex change from male to female you should be told before you meet them ??

I tried to send you a private message to discuss this, but you have blocked messages from my 'group' "

Why can’t you discuss it on here, that’s what it’s for.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose."

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose."

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it."

I completely understand and accept its your right and nobody can do anything about it...

However even the fact you make mention of it in your profile, tells me that it is important to you on some level.

My only point is... if people choose to change their gender, it's their right, however if you want an honest meaningful reltionship/meet etc then it's essential that its mentioned.

It doesn't have to be done on the first message, but it has to be a discussion or else it's deception... in my humble opinion

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it.

I completely understand and accept its your right and nobody can do anything about it...

However even the fact you make mention of it in your profile, tells me that it is important to you on some level.

My only point is... if people choose to change their gender, it's their right, however if you want an honest meaningful reltionship/meet etc then it's essential that its mentioned.

It doesn't have to be done on the first message, but it has to be a discussion or else it's deception... in my humble opinion"

But again,I'll be the one to decide. With all due respect,I won't be told what my duties or moral obligations are,by complete strangers. I wouldn't do that to you,after all.

Ther is also the issue of my right to protect myself from being hurt,in all sorts of ways. If I was to make such a big issue about my past (which I don't,on here is the only time I ever discuss it) I might run the risk of attracting tranny chasers,such as the previous poster who said he was feeling kinky and has decided to find himself a ts girlfriend.reading that made my skin crawl and I would rather avoid people like that.Is it fair for me to be unnecessarily exposed to the kind of people and attitudes that disgust me?

Is it fair for my medical history to be public property? Would it not be fair for me to be able to keep my business to myself?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it.

I completely understand and accept its your right and nobody can do anything about it...

However even the fact you make mention of it in your profile, tells me that it is important to you on some level.

My only point is... if people choose to change their gender, it's their right, however if you want an honest meaningful reltionship/meet etc then it's essential that its mentioned.

It doesn't have to be done on the first message, but it has to be a discussion or else it's deception... in my humble opinion

But again,I'll be the one to decide. With all due respect,I won't be told what my duties or moral obligations are,by complete strangers. I wouldn't do that to you,after all.

Ther is also the issue of my right to protect myself from being hurt,in all sorts of ways. If I was to make such a big issue about my past (which I don't,on here is the only time I ever discuss it) I might run the risk of attracting tranny chasers,such as the previous poster who said he was feeling kinky and has decided to find himself a ts girlfriend.reading that made my skin crawl and I would rather avoid people like that.Is it fair for me to be unnecessarily exposed to the kind of people and attitudes that disgust me?

Is it fair for my medical history to be public property? Would it not be fair for me to be able to keep my business to myself?"

Again I agree with all of the above.

However dickheads will be dickheads, and I get fetish request from people who fantasize about being with a black man, so understand that.

However, honesty will separates the real from the fake and you'll clearly be able to know who is being genuine and want you for you and will accept you good bad and ugly.

By no means do I expect you to change because of my opinion, but just something to think about.

I would want to know and would feel upset if I found out. Not that you had the change, but because I would feel lied to and treated like the same fetish we both agreed isn't good...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it.

I completely understand and accept its your right and nobody can do anything about it...

However even the fact you make mention of it in your profile, tells me that it is important to you on some level.

My only point is... if people choose to change their gender, it's their right, however if you want an honest meaningful reltionship/meet etc then it's essential that its mentioned.

It doesn't have to be done on the first message, but it has to be a discussion or else it's deception... in my humble opinion

But again,I'll be the one to decide. With all due respect,I won't be told what my duties or moral obligations are,by complete strangers. I wouldn't do that to you,after all.

Ther is also the issue of my right to protect myself from being hurt,in all sorts of ways. If I was to make such a big issue about my past (which I don't,on here is the only time I ever discuss it) I might run the risk of attracting tranny chasers,such as the previous poster who said he was feeling kinky and has decided to find himself a ts girlfriend.reading that made my skin crawl and I would rather avoid people like that.Is it fair for me to be unnecessarily exposed to the kind of people and attitudes that disgust me?

Is it fair for my medical history to be public property? Would it not be fair for me to be able to keep my business to myself?

Again I agree with all of the above.

However dickheads will be dickheads, and I get fetish request from people who fantasize about being with a black man, so understand that.

However, honesty will separates the real from the fake and you'll clearly be able to know who is being genuine and want you for you and will accept you good bad and ugly.

By no means do I expect you to change because of my opinion, but just something to think about.

I would want to know and would feel upset if I found out. Not that you had the change, but because I would feel lied to and treated like the same fetish we both agreed isn't good..."

Ok,I've thought about it and I haven't changed my mind.

Just as a general principle,either someones medical history is private or it isn't. (it IS,btw.)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows


"

It's not going to get that far though is it. It's really just the time wasting aspect. If you meet a lady for a drink and she turns out to be 6ft 3 in heels, with big hands, wearing a choaker, with a little too much make up. She's got a secret... "

Urmmm... You just described me perfectly!

As to the original OP.

Yes, I think it's only fair that you're given the full facts.

Personally, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest, if someone identifies mentally & emotionally as being the opposite gender to what they were born physically then that is how I see them.

But I can see that for some people, especially men may not feel that way about male to female transistion, and could lead to some very serious issues

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it.

I completely understand and accept its your right and nobody can do anything about it...

However even the fact you make mention of it in your profile, tells me that it is important to you on some level.

My only point is... if people choose to change their gender, it's their right, however if you want an honest meaningful reltionship/meet etc then it's essential that its mentioned.

It doesn't have to be done on the first message, but it has to be a discussion or else it's deception... in my humble opinion

But again,I'll be the one to decide. With all due respect,I won't be told what my duties or moral obligations are,by complete strangers. I wouldn't do that to you,after all.

Ther is also the issue of my right to protect myself from being hurt,in all sorts of ways. If I was to make such a big issue about my past (which I don't,on here is the only time I ever discuss it) I might run the risk of attracting tranny chasers,such as the previous poster who said he was feeling kinky and has decided to find himself a ts girlfriend.reading that made my skin crawl and I would rather avoid people like that.Is it fair for me to be unnecessarily exposed to the kind of people and attitudes that disgust me?

Is it fair for my medical history to be public property? Would it not be fair for me to be able to keep my business to myself?"

But the very nature of moral obligations is that they are universal rules. Hence by definition if you say anything is morally right or wrong you are telling other people how they should live their lives.

Personally I would say that if there is anything about you think might cause a person who is otherwise willing to have sex with you, not to have sex with you, then you should tell them about it. To do otherwise is to deny someone personal sexual autonomy.

I would say that overrides any privacy issue.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It's not going to get that far though is it. It's really just the time wasting aspect. If you meet a lady for a drink and she turns out to be 6ft 3 in heels, with big hands, wearing a choaker, with a little too much make up. She's got a secret...

Urmmm... You just described me perfectly!

As to the original OP.

Yes, I think it's only fair that you're given the full facts.

Personally, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest, if someone identifies mentally & emotionally as being the opposite gender to what they were born physically then that is how I see them.

But I can see that for some people, especially men may not feel that way about male to female transistion, and could lead to some very serious issues

"

Quite right

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it.

I completely understand and accept its your right and nobody can do anything about it...

However even the fact you make mention of it in your profile, tells me that it is important to you on some level.

My only point is... if people choose to change their gender, it's their right, however if you want an honest meaningful reltionship/meet etc then it's essential that its mentioned.

It doesn't have to be done on the first message, but it has to be a discussion or else it's deception... in my humble opinion

But again,I'll be the one to decide. With all due respect,I won't be told what my duties or moral obligations are,by complete strangers. I wouldn't do that to you,after all.

Ther is also the issue of my right to protect myself from being hurt,in all sorts of ways. If I was to make such a big issue about my past (which I don't,on here is the only time I ever discuss it) I might run the risk of attracting tranny chasers,such as the previous poster who said he was feeling kinky and has decided to find himself a ts girlfriend.reading that made my skin crawl and I would rather avoid people like that.Is it fair for me to be unnecessarily exposed to the kind of people and attitudes that disgust me?

Is it fair for my medical history to be public property? Would it not be fair for me to be able to keep my business to myself?

But the very nature of moral obligations is that they are universal rules. Hence by definition if you say anything is morally right or wrong you are telling other people how they should live their lives.

Personally I would say that if there is anything about you think might cause a person who is otherwise willing to have sex with you, not to have sex with you, then you should tell them about it. To do otherwise is to deny someone personal sexual autonomy.

I would say that overrides any privacy issue. "

Exactly

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it.

I completely understand and accept its your right and nobody can do anything about it...

However even the fact you make mention of it in your profile, tells me that it is important to you on some level.

My only point is... if people choose to change their gender, it's their right, however if you want an honest meaningful reltionship/meet etc then it's essential that its mentioned.

It doesn't have to be done on the first message, but it has to be a discussion or else it's deception... in my humble opinion

But again,I'll be the one to decide. With all due respect,I won't be told what my duties or moral obligations are,by complete strangers. I wouldn't do that to you,after all.

Ther is also the issue of my right to protect myself from being hurt,in all sorts of ways. If I was to make such a big issue about my past (which I don't,on here is the only time I ever discuss it) I might run the risk of attracting tranny chasers,such as the previous poster who said he was feeling kinky and has decided to find himself a ts girlfriend.reading that made my skin crawl and I would rather avoid people like that.Is it fair for me to be unnecessarily exposed to the kind of people and attitudes that disgust me?

Is it fair for my medical history to be public property? Would it not be fair for me to be able to keep my business to myself?

But the very nature of moral obligations is that they are universal rules. Hence by definition if you say anything is morally right or wrong you are telling other people how they should live their lives.

Personally I would say that if there is anything about you think might cause a person who is otherwise willing to have sex with you, not to have sex with you, then you should tell them about it. To do otherwise is to deny someone personal sexual autonomy.

I would say that overrides any privacy issue. "

But how am I supposed to know another person's mind? It's not for me to assume that my past is an important factor (it isn't important to everyone) Are you saying I have to volunteer information even if the question is not asked?

If morality is universal then that rule could be applied in many other cases too.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it.

I completely understand and accept its your right and nobody can do anything about it...

However even the fact you make mention of it in your profile, tells me that it is important to you on some level.

My only point is... if people choose to change their gender, it's their right, however if you want an honest meaningful reltionship/meet etc then it's essential that its mentioned.

It doesn't have to be done on the first message, but it has to be a discussion or else it's deception... in my humble opinion

But again,I'll be the one to decide. With all due respect,I won't be told what my duties or moral obligations are,by complete strangers. I wouldn't do that to you,after all.

Ther is also the issue of my right to protect myself from being hurt,in all sorts of ways. If I was to make such a big issue about my past (which I don't,on here is the only time I ever discuss it) I might run the risk of attracting tranny chasers,such as the previous poster who said he was feeling kinky and has decided to find himself a ts girlfriend.reading that made my skin crawl and I would rather avoid people like that.Is it fair for me to be unnecessarily exposed to the kind of people and attitudes that disgust me?

Is it fair for my medical history to be public property? Would it not be fair for me to be able to keep my business to myself?

But the very nature of moral obligations is that they are universal rules. Hence by definition if you say anything is morally right or wrong you are telling other people how they should live their lives.

Personally I would say that if there is anything about you think might cause a person who is otherwise willing to have sex with you, not to have sex with you, then you should tell them about it. To do otherwise is to deny someone personal sexual autonomy.

I would say that overrides any privacy issue.

But how am I supposed to know another person's mind? It's not for me to assume that my past is an important factor (it isn't important to everyone) Are you saying I have to volunteer information even if the question is not asked?

If morality is universal then that rule could be applied in many other cases too. "

I am not saying it's easy, but you have to make a judgment in all circumstances. You can however usually get a feel for someone's attitude if you talk to them for a bit and as to whether factor x about you would stop them having sex with you.

Putting it the other way round, I assume that you wouldn't want to have sex with anyone who you suspected was bothered about your gender ID.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you think if someone has had a sex change from male to female you should be told before you meet them ??"

Absolutely

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d like to be told, but it wouldn’t alter my decision on meeting someone.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it.

I completely understand and accept its your right and nobody can do anything about it...

However even the fact you make mention of it in your profile, tells me that it is important to you on some level.

My only point is... if people choose to change their gender, it's their right, however if you want an honest meaningful reltionship/meet etc then it's essential that its mentioned.

It doesn't have to be done on the first message, but it has to be a discussion or else it's deception... in my humble opinion

But again,I'll be the one to decide. With all due respect,I won't be told what my duties or moral obligations are,by complete strangers. I wouldn't do that to you,after all.

Ther is also the issue of my right to protect myself from being hurt,in all sorts of ways. If I was to make such a big issue about my past (which I don't,on here is the only time I ever discuss it) I might run the risk of attracting tranny chasers,such as the previous poster who said he was feeling kinky and has decided to find himself a ts girlfriend.reading that made my skin crawl and I would rather avoid people like that.Is it fair for me to be unnecessarily exposed to the kind of people and attitudes that disgust me?

Is it fair for my medical history to be public property? Would it not be fair for me to be able to keep my business to myself?

But the very nature of moral obligations is that they are universal rules. Hence by definition if you say anything is morally right or wrong you are telling other people how they should live their lives.

Personally I would say that if there is anything about you think might cause a person who is otherwise willing to have sex with you, not to have sex with you, then you should tell them about it. To do otherwise is to deny someone personal sexual autonomy.

I would say that overrides any privacy issue.

But how am I supposed to know another person's mind? It's not for me to assume that my past is an important factor (it isn't important to everyone) Are you saying I have to volunteer information even if the question is not asked?

If morality is universal then that rule could be applied in many other cases too.

I am not saying it's easy, but you have to make a judgment in all circumstances. You can however usually get a feel for someone's attitude if you talk to them for a bit and as to whether factor x about you would stop them having sex with you.

Putting it the other way round, I assume that you wouldn't want to have sex with anyone who you suspected was bothered about your gender ID. "

Exactly my point...I make the judgement on what I tell and to whom I tell it.just as you and everyone else,do.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it.

I completely understand and accept its your right and nobody can do anything about it...

However even the fact you make mention of it in your profile, tells me that it is important to you on some level.

My only point is... if people choose to change their gender, it's their right, however if you want an honest meaningful reltionship/meet etc then it's essential that its mentioned.

It doesn't have to be done on the first message, but it has to be a discussion or else it's deception... in my humble opinion

But again,I'll be the one to decide. With all due respect,I won't be told what my duties or moral obligations are,by complete strangers. I wouldn't do that to you,after all.

Ther is also the issue of my right to protect myself from being hurt,in all sorts of ways. If I was to make such a big issue about my past (which I don't,on here is the only time I ever discuss it) I might run the risk of attracting tranny chasers,such as the previous poster who said he was feeling kinky and has decided to find himself a ts girlfriend.reading that made my skin crawl and I would rather avoid people like that.Is it fair for me to be unnecessarily exposed to the kind of people and attitudes that disgust me?

Is it fair for my medical history to be public property? Would it not be fair for me to be able to keep my business to myself?

But the very nature of moral obligations is that they are universal rules. Hence by definition if you say anything is morally right or wrong you are telling other people how they should live their lives.

Personally I would say that if there is anything about you think might cause a person who is otherwise willing to have sex with you, not to have sex with you, then you should tell them about it. To do otherwise is to deny someone personal sexual autonomy.

I would say that overrides any privacy issue.

But how am I supposed to know another person's mind? It's not for me to assume that my past is an important factor (it isn't important to everyone) Are you saying I have to volunteer information even if the question is not asked?

If morality is universal then that rule could be applied in many other cases too.

I am not saying it's easy, but you have to make a judgment in all circumstances. You can however usually get a feel for someone's attitude if you talk to them for a bit and as to whether factor x about you would stop them having sex with you.

Putting it the other way round, I assume that you wouldn't want to have sex with anyone who you suspected was bothered about your gender ID.

Exactly my point...I make the judgement on what I tell and to whom I tell it.just as you and everyone else,do."

Would you say that, if I were married, I would have a duty to tell that to someone I was about to have sex with if I thought my being married might mean they wouldn't want to have sex with me?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it.

I completely understand and accept its your right and nobody can do anything about it...

However even the fact you make mention of it in your profile, tells me that it is important to you on some level.

My only point is... if people choose to change their gender, it's their right, however if you want an honest meaningful reltionship/meet etc then it's essential that its mentioned.

It doesn't have to be done on the first message, but it has to be a discussion or else it's deception... in my humble opinion

But again,I'll be the one to decide. With all due respect,I won't be told what my duties or moral obligations are,by complete strangers. I wouldn't do that to you,after all.

Ther is also the issue of my right to protect myself from being hurt,in all sorts of ways. If I was to make such a big issue about my past (which I don't,on here is the only time I ever discuss it) I might run the risk of attracting tranny chasers,such as the previous poster who said he was feeling kinky and has decided to find himself a ts girlfriend.reading that made my skin crawl and I would rather avoid people like that.Is it fair for me to be unnecessarily exposed to the kind of people and attitudes that disgust me?

Is it fair for my medical history to be public property? Would it not be fair for me to be able to keep my business to myself?

But the very nature of moral obligations is that they are universal rules. Hence by definition if you say anything is morally right or wrong you are telling other people how they should live their lives.

Personally I would say that if there is anything about you think might cause a person who is otherwise willing to have sex with you, not to have sex with you, then you should tell them about it. To do otherwise is to deny someone personal sexual autonomy.

I would say that overrides any privacy issue.

But how am I supposed to know another person's mind? It's not for me to assume that my past is an important factor (it isn't important to everyone) Are you saying I have to volunteer information even if the question is not asked?

If morality is universal then that rule could be applied in many other cases too.

I am not saying it's easy, but you have to make a judgment in all circumstances. You can however usually get a feel for someone's attitude if you talk to them for a bit and as to whether factor x about you would stop them having sex with you.

Putting it the other way round, I assume that you wouldn't want to have sex with anyone who you suspected was bothered about your gender ID. "

I was once involved with a guy who had several convictions for violent crimes.

If I'd known that,I probably would never have got involved with him but

I didn't ask before we slept together.

Did he obtain my consent by deception? I don't feel he did.

How is this any different?

You could say he should have assumed I'd want to know.

I say,if I'd wanted to know then it's my responsibility to ask.

(He was never violent towards me

Btw).

 (closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately
 

By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it.

I completely understand and accept its your right and nobody can do anything about it...

However even the fact you make mention of it in your profile, tells me that it is important to you on some level.

My only point is... if people choose to change their gender, it's their right, however if you want an honest meaningful reltionship/meet etc then it's essential that its mentioned.

It doesn't have to be done on the first message, but it has to be a discussion or else it's deception... in my humble opinion

But again,I'll be the one to decide. With all due respect,I won't be told what my duties or moral obligations are,by complete strangers. I wouldn't do that to you,after all.

Ther is also the issue of my right to protect myself from being hurt,in all sorts of ways. If I was to make such a big issue about my past (which I don't,on here is the only time I ever discuss it) I might run the risk of attracting tranny chasers,such as the previous poster who said he was feeling kinky and has decided to find himself a ts girlfriend.reading that made my skin crawl and I would rather avoid people like that.Is it fair for me to be unnecessarily exposed to the kind of people and attitudes that disgust me?

Is it fair for my medical history to be public property? Would it not be fair for me to be able to keep my business to myself?

But the very nature of moral obligations is that they are universal rules. Hence by definition if you say anything is morally right or wrong you are telling other people how they should live their lives.

Personally I would say that if there is anything about you think might cause a person who is otherwise willing to have sex with you, not to have sex with you, then you should tell them about it. To do otherwise is to deny someone personal sexual autonomy.

I would say that overrides any privacy issue.

But how am I supposed to know another person's mind? It's not for me to assume that my past is an important factor (it isn't important to everyone) Are you saying I have to volunteer information even if the question is not asked?

If morality is universal then that rule could be applied in many other cases too.

I am not saying it's easy, but you have to make a judgment in all circumstances. You can however usually get a feel for someone's attitude if you talk to them for a bit and as to whether factor x about you would stop them having sex with you.

Putting it the other way round, I assume that you wouldn't want to have sex with anyone who you suspected was bothered about your gender ID.

I was once involved with a guy who had several convictions for violent crimes.

If I'd known that,I probably would never have got involved with him but

I didn't ask before we slept together.

Did he obtain my consent by deception? I don't feel he did.

How is this any different?

You could say he should have assumed I'd want to know.

I say,if I'd wanted to know then it's my responsibility to ask.

(He was never violent towards me

Btw)."

It's not straightforward I agree. This bloke is probably never going to get a shag if he has to tell everyone before he has sex with them that he had those convictions.

The other way of looking of it I suppose is that you have sex with someone you hardly know, you are taking the risk that there will be all sorts of things about them you don't like.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it.

I completely understand and accept its your right and nobody can do anything about it...

However even the fact you make mention of it in your profile, tells me that it is important to you on some level.

My only point is... if people choose to change their gender, it's their right, however if you want an honest meaningful reltionship/meet etc then it's essential that its mentioned.

It doesn't have to be done on the first message, but it has to be a discussion or else it's deception... in my humble opinion

But again,I'll be the one to decide. With all due respect,I won't be told what my duties or moral obligations are,by complete strangers. I wouldn't do that to you,after all.

Ther is also the issue of my right to protect myself from being hurt,in all sorts of ways. If I was to make such a big issue about my past (which I don't,on here is the only time I ever discuss it) I might run the risk of attracting tranny chasers,such as the previous poster who said he was feeling kinky and has decided to find himself a ts girlfriend.reading that made my skin crawl and I would rather avoid people like that.Is it fair for me to be unnecessarily exposed to the kind of people and attitudes that disgust me?

Is it fair for my medical history to be public property? Would it not be fair for me to be able to keep my business to myself?

But the very nature of moral obligations is that they are universal rules. Hence by definition if you say anything is morally right or wrong you are telling other people how they should live their lives.

Personally I would say that if there is anything about you think might cause a person who is otherwise willing to have sex with you, not to have sex with you, then you should tell them about it. To do otherwise is to deny someone personal sexual autonomy.

I would say that overrides any privacy issue.

But how am I supposed to know another person's mind? It's not for me to assume that my past is an important factor (it isn't important to everyone) Are you saying I have to volunteer information even if the question is not asked?

If morality is universal then that rule could be applied in many other cases too.

I am not saying it's easy, but you have to make a judgment in all circumstances. You can however usually get a feel for someone's attitude if you talk to them for a bit and as to whether factor x about you would stop them having sex with you.

Putting it the other way round, I assume that you wouldn't want to have sex with anyone who you suspected was bothered about your gender ID.

I was once involved with a guy who had several convictions for violent crimes.

If I'd known that,I probably would never have got involved with him but

I didn't ask before we slept together.

Did he obtain my consent by deception? I don't feel he did.

How is this any different?

You could say he should have assumed I'd want to know.

I say,if I'd wanted to know then it's my responsibility to ask.

(He was never violent towards me

Btw)."

Actually you've persuaded me round.

I think if someone is willing to have a casual fuck with you purely on the basis of how you look than there's no obligation to tell them anything about yourself.

When we get in to ongoing relationship territory, I would say it's different.

The only caveat for ts women would be re safety. If a guy doesn't know you are talking, but might clock when you are undressed, it seems to me wise to tell him in advance to avoid bad reactions.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Doesn't know you are ts

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to add my 2p.

I think this information needs to be told beforehand.

I think if homosexuality, transgender etc and all other sexual prefrences are to be taken seriously, and not illegal and a brain disorder like it was upto only 50/60 years ago.

Then I believe it's your duty to express the truth. Do justice to your decision of taking such a big step to change.

A biological change is huge and I think of out of respect for the person you plan to meet, it's right you say something. Allow the person the right to choose.

I still believe that it's my right to decide who I tell and what I tell them. I think,out of respect for me,people should accept that.

Besides,how many times do you think it would be necessary to tell someone? I,personally decided long ago that if I was going to meet anyone off here then I would disclose,so I put it in my profile.I also sometimes ask people who message me if they have read and understood that,,,,yet still isunderstandings occur.Whose fault is that?

In real life,I generally don't even think about it,let alone discuss it.If someone starts chatting to me and one thing leads to another then I still don't,we ususally have better things to talk about. Some may think I should tell everyone but I don't and quite frankly,there's nothing anybody can do about it.

I completely understand and accept its your right and nobody can do anything about it...

However even the fact you make mention of it in your profile, tells me that it is important to you on some level.

My only point is... if people choose to change their gender, it's their right, however if you want an honest meaningful reltionship/meet etc then it's essential that its mentioned.

It doesn't have to be done on the first message, but it has to be a discussion or else it's deception... in my humble opinion

But again,I'll be the one to decide. With all due respect,I won't be told what my duties or moral obligations are,by complete strangers. I wouldn't do that to you,after all.

Ther is also the issue of my right to protect myself from being hurt,in all sorts of ways. If I was to make such a big issue about my past (which I don't,on here is the only time I ever discuss it) I might run the risk of attracting tranny chasers,such as the previous poster who said he was feeling kinky and has decided to find himself a ts girlfriend.reading that made my skin crawl and I would rather avoid people like that.Is it fair for me to be unnecessarily exposed to the kind of people and attitudes that disgust me?

Is it fair for my medical history to be public property? Would it not be fair for me to be able to keep my business to myself?

But the very nature of moral obligations is that they are universal rules. Hence by definition if you say anything is morally right or wrong you are telling other people how they should live their lives.

Personally I would say that if there is anything about you think might cause a person who is otherwise willing to have sex with you, not to have sex with you, then you should tell them about it. To do otherwise is to deny someone personal sexual autonomy.

I would say that overrides any privacy issue.

But how am I supposed to know another person's mind? It's not for me to assume that my past is an important factor (it isn't important to everyone) Are you saying I have to volunteer information even if the question is not asked?

If morality is universal then that rule could be applied in many other cases too.

I am not saying it's easy, but you have to make a judgment in all circumstances. You can however usually get a feel for someone's attitude if you talk to them for a bit and as to whether factor x about you would stop them having sex with you.

Putting it the other way round, I assume that you wouldn't want to have sex with anyone who you suspected was bothered about your gender ID.

I was once involved with a guy who had several convictions for violent crimes.

If I'd known that,I probably would never have got involved with him but

I didn't ask before we slept together.

Did he obtain my consent by deception? I don't feel he did.

How is this any different?

You could say he should have assumed I'd want to know.

I say,if I'd wanted to know then it's my responsibility to ask.

(He was never violent towards me

Btw).

Actually you've persuaded me round.

I think if someone is willing to have a casual fuck with you purely on the basis of how you look than there's no obligation to tell them anything about yourself.

When we get in to ongoing relationship territory, I would say it's different.

The only caveat for ts women would be re safety. If a guy doesn't know you are talking, but might clock when you are undressed, it seems to me wise to tell him in advance to avoid bad reactions. "

There have been one or two who have never known.

It wouldn't be very nice of me to possibly spoil their memories of a fantastic night,would it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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