FabSwingers.com forum: Can you get lost in messages...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m curious as I’ve been speak to my friend who’s also on here and she says with the sheer amount of messages she gets she feels like the good ones might be getting lost in between all the guys who are pointless in replying too...

So is it easy for a guy to get lost In your inboxes and how many of you actually reply if they’re polite (even just a no thanks) ?

Myself I have a good few people I’m in contact with regularly and if I message anyone else I try to be polite whilst also chatting about their profile and a little background of myself (any helpful tips feel free) but is it possible that I may get lost in someone’s overflow

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Helpful tip one:- Expect nothing, then any reply is a bonus!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Helpful tip one:- Expect nothing, then any reply is a bonus!

Good philosophy, I shall take that in board.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Helpful tip one:- Expect nothing, then any reply is a bonus!

Haha good thinking

But I’m just curious from the ladies point of view

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

I don't think so. If you manage your messages . Not quite sure how so many women apparently have inboxes over flowing..... Never been the case here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often get lost wandering the forums...

If you find me return to sender...

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

Ps unless it's absolutely ridiculous or I've told them no umpteen times I will always send a polite no thanks. Altho all I get is abuse, name calling and eventually I end up blocking them

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

"I often get lost wandering the forums...

If you find me return to sender..."

You aren't lost.... you just forgot to turn the light on in the cave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That may have been the case when we first joined and first came back after a break, got a lot of messages, most of which I couldn’t reply to. Try to reply to everyone now there are less of them though

Mrs F x

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Has your friend found the filters yet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any guy I'm seriously interested in meeting I'll message through means away from the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I often get lost wandering the forums...

If you find me return to sender...

You aren't lost.... you just forgot to turn the light on in the cave"

I look better in the dark...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That may have been the case when we first joined and first came back after a break, got a lot of messages, most of which I couldn’t reply to. Try to reply to everyone now there are less of them though

Mrs F x"

This. Although we'll forget who we've spoken to that we're interested in and end up just putting meets up when we would ideally contact guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has your friend found the filters yet?"

Good question..

Although it depends whether she wants to or not

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By *aughtybutniceBBWWoman
over a year ago

The County of Northamptonshire

OP you wouldn’t get lost in my inbox if you were closer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if you use filters, the message amount becomes that much more bearable. I'm sure there may be some who would have been my type, who i may have overlooked. But I've always been lucky with those i have engaged with, so don't feel like I've missed out on someone, in that sense

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By *ools47Woman
over a year ago

Failsworth

The volume of messages is just tedious. And I'd say I reply to about 2% of new messages (ie people i'm not already 'talking' too).

Message filters are useful but not a solution. I do however read every message and if interested look at their profile before deciding whether to reply or delete.

My profile does say I might not reply though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think so no. You can scan read the first part of a message so can usually tell if its worth opening

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"Has your friend found the filters yet?

Good question..

Although it depends whether she wants to or not

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

When I first started on here it was ridiculous. At one stage I did a mass select all and delete and I'm sure a few "decent" folk where rejected in that panic sweep. But then someone told me about filters and it helped me manage the dross from the not so dross lol...thank fuck for filters!!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

No, the good ones don't get lost OP. If I'm particularly interested I'd suggest moving to another messaging option. I do try and reply with a no thank you but I still end up being called various things.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Has your friend found the filters yet?"

Yes but you can’t filter the dickheads

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mrs F x"

Luckily I managed to remember to set filters when I came back, the amount you get from other guys as a single guy is crazy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has your friend found the filters yet?

Yes but you can’t filter the dickheads

So she must be reading them then?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dont think so no. You can scan read the first part of a message so can usually tell if its worth opening"

That’s probably the biggest topic in every guys head... how to start a message correctly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Has your friend found the filters yet?

Yes but you can’t filter the dickheads

So she must be reading them then?"

Yea she tries to read the majority of messages, were we just having a discussion about it last night, as I’ve seen a lot of women’s profiles, words to use in the titles, also if deleted it’s a polite no and so on...

but I’ve seen a few women in the forums complaining of having idiots fill their inboxes so that’s where the conversation started

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The volume of messages is just tedious. And I'd say I reply to about 2% of new messages (ie people i'm not already 'talking' too).

Message filters are useful but not a solution. I do however read every message and if interested look at their profile before deciding whether to reply or delete.

My profile does say I might not reply though

You’re a very fair woman!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP you wouldn’t get lost in my inbox if you were closer

I’m always open for new conversations and who knows! I travel a lot for work

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Any guy I'm seriously interested in meeting I'll message through means away from the site. "

But what about that first contact?

I speak to a few people on other forms of messenger that I get along with, but for guys trying to start a new conversation how would be their best way to start the initial message ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ps unless it's absolutely ridiculous or I've told them no umpteen times I will always send a polite no thanks. Altho all I get is abuse, name calling and eventually I end up blocking them "

Yes I think a lot of guys in here a very full of themselves and because they don’t have to worry about the consequences they get arsey

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think if you use filters, the message amount becomes that much more bearable. I'm sure there may be some who would have been my type, who i may have overlooked. But I've always been lucky with those i have engaged with, so don't feel like I've missed out on someone, in that sense

Great way of looking at it

you’re one of the lucky ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has your friend found the filters yet?

Yes but you can’t filter the dickheads

So she must be reading them then?

but I’ve seen a few women in the forums complaining of having idiots fill their inboxes so that’s where the conversation started

Well its true you can't filter out the idiots but she can filter out newbies, ones without pics and set an age range...

Unless of course she likes the attention then there is no helping her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't reply to everyone. I get a fair amount of messages a day (us fat girls also get a lovely amount of attention here) and alongside work and motherhood I don't get a chance to reply to all of them.

When I first joined I did try to but ended up getting so much abuse when politely saying no I now don't bother. I am very clear of my profile what works and what doesn't for me and that I may not reply.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"Any guy I'm seriously interested in meeting I'll message through means away from the site.

But what about that first contact?

I speak to a few people on other forms of messenger that I get along with, but for guys trying to start a new conversation how would be their best way to start the initial message ?

I don't think it matters as long as it's not crude because a lot of women look at a profile before opening a message!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone says that to you it's a polite way of saying they didn't want to respond. Anyone that doesn't bother with filters and then complains about messages is only after the attention. I can guarantee that.

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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago

swingers clubs

You quickly learn to create a very sarcastic sounding profile

and read between the lines of messages to figure out who the genuine ones are.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Has your friend found the filters yet?

Yes but you can’t filter the dickheads

So she must be reading them then?

but I’ve seen a few women in the forums complaining of having idiots fill their inboxes so that’s where the conversation started

Well its true you can't filter out the idiots but she can filter out newbies, ones without pics and set an age range...

Unless of course she likes the attention then there is no helping her"

Yea she’s currently got her profile set to private as she’s talking to enough people she meets atm... she’s definitely an attention whore

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't reply to everyone. I get a fair amount of messages a day (us fat girls also get a lovely amount of attention here) and alongside work and motherhood I don't get a chance to reply to all of them.

Fair point

I guess people get so annoyed with idiots they just don’t risk it any longer

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If someone says that to you it's a polite way of saying they didn't want to respond. Anyone that doesn't bother with filters and then complains about messages is only after the attention. I can guarantee that. "

No I haven’t had that said to me, I was just curious if it was a thing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't think it matters as long as it's not crude because a lot of women look at a profile before opening a message!"

Ahh that makes sense

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You quickly learn to create a very sarcastic sounding profile

and read between the lines of messages to figure out who the genuine ones are. "

There must be a progression profiles all take on here, starting off all jolly and enthusiastic, to sarcastic, then ranty and cross and finally to hidden

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can only get lost in music OP, ask Sister Sledge. Hope this helps.

Fondest regards to you both X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You quickly learn to create a very sarcastic sounding profile

and read between the lines of messages to figure out who the genuine ones are.

There must be a progression profiles all take on here, starting off all jolly and enthusiastic, to sarcastic, then ranty and cross and finally to hidden

Haven't done any of those apart from hiding now and then

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