FabSwingers.com forum: You've got 30 seconds to completely ruin a job interview

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How do you do it?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Pick your nose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put your feet up on the desk and crack open a can of stella

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By *azza80Woman
over a year ago

Your wildest Dreams

"Put your feet up on the desk and crack open a can of stella

Hahaha love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look bored

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like Spud did on Trainspotting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell them that the desk they were sat on was incredibly similiar to the one at a gangbang i’d attended last night at a secret location.....

Then pretend to check for stains...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Show them your fab profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask them if they FAF

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say I just fucked your sister

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shoot up then offer your works to the interviewer

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"How do you do it? "

I did it once - in an interview in one of the top companies in the world. I confessed I was pissing off to Germany to play with horses for a year, and they asked me to come back as soon as I got back haha!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fart....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell them your old school and only do a 39 hour week.must have an hour for lunch and you don't work weekends and always go away for 2 weeks at Christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Start wanking and ask have you got any tissues before I finish in your desk draw

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like Spud did on Trainspotting "

Ken whit a mean like....

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By *owdyboy 890Man
over a year ago

Country West

Say you shagged the interviewers other half xx

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By *atural-born-thrillerMan
over a year ago

oulton broad

Was asked to take part in a role play situation with an unhappy customer ....so after I’d completely innocently some how managed to mention ‘tits up , fuck and cunt a few times as I was getting into it ...they asked me to kindly stop as they didn’t think I was suitable for a customers service roll ... x

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Stare inappropriately at the interviews tits for the entire interview. Do not make eye contact once.

(True story... He didn't get the job)

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

Have Asperger's and say the rong thing to a question cos your nurvers are playing up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I recognise you, I saw a photo next to your bed the other night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Show them FAB and your profile!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the interviewer asks "what do you see yourself doing in five years?" Answer doing you're daughter or son whichever one suits you, same outcome non the less

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask them how much they earn and what they have to do for their money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell the boss you want his job by next year

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By *essandpatCouple
over a year ago

chester

Your at the interview at a restaurant, boss says why would you like to work in a place like this answer for the free food x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't show up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like Spud did on Trainspotting

Ken whit a mean like...."

I need a large Irn Bru to be able to translate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘Why do you want to work here?’

‘I don’t. Jobseekers makes me apply for jobs’.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Put your feet up on the desk and crack open a can of stella

Hahaha love it

xx"

I had this... mind you, he wandered in with a bag of chips and ate them first. The delights of having the job centre insist they book every other 15 minute interview with their flotsam and jetsam as they had leant me the office to do the interviews in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forget which interview I,m at and start slagging the company interviewing me off because I think I,m at their rivals. Then fart loudly, spill my tea and giggle a lot in an annoying fashion. XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask if they have a health plan to cover multiple STIs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask if she wants to suck my cock infront of the other bosses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Telling them that you think one of your weaknesses is that you're too honest, and then replying with "I don't give a shit what you think", when they tell you they don't think being honest is a weakness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In response to the first question, whatever it is, start complaining "Questions? I didn't realise there'd be questions. What's with all the questions all the time?" Then break into tears screaming "can't you guys stop asking me questions all the time! Day and night! Day and night! I can't sleep!". Then sit bolt upright and in a cold sober voice say "and the sound of your swivelling eye sockets"

That should do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Open my mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask...... ‘ was it you I was flogging on the cross at the annex the other night?’.....

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By *harlieMindsWoman
over a year ago

Plymouth

"Tell them your old school and only do a 39 hour week.must have an hour for lunch and you don't work weekends and always go away for 2 weeks at Christmas "

This is literally what I’ve always done and I’ve never had any problems haha. Last Christmas I had a month! 15th-15th

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walked into an interview. Realised the agency had sent me for a job that I had no relevant experience or training for within 30 seconds so explained to the interviewer I wasn't going to waste their time or mine. Had a coffee and a natter and left!

3 months later they offered me a relevant job!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Light a ciggie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ask if they have a tits out Tuesday policy like on Fab?

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I have interviewed a few arrogant men over the years who have no faults what so ever...….there was not a chance in hell they would like a female boss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scratch you bollocks before shaking their hand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have interviewed a few arrogant men over the years who have no faults what so ever...….there was not a chance in hell they would like a female boss

you can boss me anytime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ask FAF? Works in fab, so will work on any interview too.

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

After the third silly question asked by the interviewer, ask what the interviewer was trying to prove by asking such questions.

True story and I got the job

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Oh,the five year employment gap, I was canoeing.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

This job would be a perfect opportunity to Nick shit load stationery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Piss in the corner of the room whilst singing "fuck you i won't do what you tell me "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Show up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do a Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct impression.... definite interview fail...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do a Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct impression.... definite interview fail...

Hired.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you do it? "

Ask the interviewee what the sick pay is like ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wanna fuck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wank

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By *onnyeasygoingMan
over a year ago

Somewhere on the M62 between 24 and 14

Give them your number and tell em to send nudes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interviewer: Name 1 weakness you have?

Me: I'm sometimes too honest!

Interviewer: ...but honesty is a good thing...

Me: I don't give a shit what you think!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Brick, where'd you get a grenade!?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Easy. I just said part way into the intervew 'You know I really don't think I could work for such a bunch of clueless, arrogant arseholes as you. thanks for your time.' Then I got up, shook their hands, enjoyed the bemused looks and left.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stand up, put hand down your pants and say "sorry the cheese is irritating my foreskin"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I've managed it in much less time.

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By *egs11ABCWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Tell the boss you want his job by next year "

I had a friend that was asked where do u see urself in 5 years time. She sd doing ur job. She got the job x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turn up for the interview.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Morning you on fab swinger's

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By *r WillerbyMan
over a year ago

Durham

How much, when

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why the fuck should I come to work for you?!??

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

NOT said by myself but someone turned up for an interview and when asked why he wanted the job, said he really fancied the young lady on Reception and wanted the chance to fuck her one day!

He didn't get the job! The young lady was in fact the M D's daughter!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attach half a dozen cock photos to your C.V.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tourette !

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By *he Knight is YoungMan
over a year ago

22 Acacia Ave, Preston-for now

"who's the main man I have to blow to get the promotion?".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like Spud did on Trainspotting "

That wasn't ruined, that was genius

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

I sat in on an interview with an ex colleague who was interviewing someone for a senior sales role.

My colleague was an arrogant prick who thought he was gods gift to sales.

The guy he was interviewing clearly was more experienced and successful than my colleague, who got quite aggressive in his questioning.

As a "challenge" he pushed his teacup actoss the table and said "if you're such a good salesman, sell me this!"

The guy had clearly had enough of being treated so badly, picked up the cup, threw it against the wall and smashed it. "You need a new cup"

Interview over......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walk in with your dress tucked in your knickers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sat in on an interview with an ex colleague who was interviewing someone for a senior sales role.

My colleague was an arrogant prick who thought he was gods gift to sales.

The guy he was interviewing clearly was more experienced and successful than my colleague, who got quite aggressive in his questioning.

As a "challenge" he pushed his teacup actoss the table and said "if you're such a good salesman, sell me this!"

The guy had clearly had enough of being treated so badly, picked up the cup, threw it against the wall and smashed it. "You need a new cup"

Interview over......"

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