FabSwingers.com forum: Out of my league

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm mid 40s, a bit on the stocky side but working on it, not bad looking (subjective I know) and never get any messages - but not a problem, this isnt a "fishing for attention" thread.

On the flip side, I'd never message any of the women on hot pics (for example) because I'd consider it pointless when there are loads of fitter, younger blokes on here than me. Anyone else not bother with those that, although you'd like to contact, you dont bother becuse you feel they just wouldnt be interested in the first place, or do you just chance your arm anyway?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

U never know until u try

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one is out of any ones league

We all like different things

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

I met a lady off hot pics mate. Read the profile if you are what they are looking for then go for it.

Pick your battles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way I see it what have you go to lose? Yeah the chances are they won't reply but what if they do?

I myself have met people who said the same about me (which I find hilarious!). Just because someone has nice pics it doesn't mean you know what or who they're looking for-you might be the perfect fit.

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By *gcoopsWoman
over a year ago

London

"I'm mid 40s, a bit on the stocky side but working on it, not bad looking (subjective I know) and never get any messages - but not a problem, this isnt a "fishing for attention" thread.

It depends, I usually only message guys if they've viewed my profile a couple of times (indication they might be interested) and if their profile appeals to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm out of a lot womens league, thats why they won't meet me.

Obviously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you never ask you never know...

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By *gcoopsWoman
over a year ago

London

"No one is out of any ones league

We all like different things "

Hear! Hear!

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By *traightguy101Man
over a year ago

Darlington

"I'm mid 40s, a bit on the stocky side but working on it, not bad looking (subjective I know) and never get any messages - but not a problem, this isnt a "fishing for attention" thread.

To quote someone I recently spoke to. There is no leagues, just two people who like each other. You never know until you try.

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By *gcoopsWoman
over a year ago

London

"I'm out of a lot womens league, thats why they won't meet me.

Obviously

So glad you figured that out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm out of a lot womens league, thats why they won't meet me.

Obviously

So glad you figured that out

oh hey you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There always will be someone better than me so to speak and ultimately I'd also be better than someone in some areas but all depends on the eyes of the beholder.

I rarely bother messaging first. If someone is attracted to my profile they would take the time to message in order to get the man behind the profile.

If not, I'll just write shit on the forums.

Nice cock op

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

The same goes for us ladies ... how do you think we feel when guys are looking for someone off hot pics .. we are not all page 3 models .... but some of us are jolly nice ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The way I see it what have you go to lose? Yeah the chances are they won't reply but what if they do?

This is exactly the way I see it, everyone finds different attributes attractive and until you try you’ll never know.

I don’t see anyone as in ‘leagues’, we’re all just people looking for different things, some match, some don’t.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Really ?? In the real world now. I admit I don't message some women because I know there's about as much chance of them replying as there is of me marrying Kelly Brook. I'm an ugly cunt with a good cheeky side. But I'm comfortable with that. That's my two pennies worth anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not every woman wants younger, fitter blokes. No point if they’re nice to look at but incredibly dull company!

The biggest issue I usually have is distance.....simply too far away to be practical. Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the people on the hot pics pages are only there because us fabbers put them there. It has nowt to do with their looks or personality, it is simply that the photo appealed to many people at different times.

So if you like the photo then read the profile and if the two still do it for you, send them a message.... what is the worst that could happen from the safety of your keyboard?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't believe in leagues. Everyone likes different things. I'm a fat girl that gets into hot pics regularly it really isn't full of model types.

I'm not looking for guys at the moment but when I am I don't go for the conventionally gorgeous they have to have more than a hot body to interest me.

Also for hot pics your best popping the girl your interested in your hot list and wait until she's out of hot pics to message

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

I totally understand the out of my league viewpoint.

My hotlist is full of them.

Why not take a chance? Look at the guys they've met.

Is there a common theme in the guys they meet? Yes.

Do I fit that mould in any way? No.

What on earth would be the point in writing a well crafted intro message when it's obvious I'm not remotely like who they meet?

I'm realistic about what I bring to the party here.

I've met some truly amazing people through Forum socials, several of them on my hotlist. Would I have messaged them? Probably not...

Messages are easy to delete when they're one in hundreds of others.

But in a social where we're all there to chat and have a great time, much easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never consider myself to be out of anyones league..

But other reasons might put me off from messaging someone anyway..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a similar thread recently and someone wrote that if you don’t contact those you fancy because you think they are out of your league, then it is kinda of insulting to those you do contact.

Food for thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There always will be someone better than me so to speak and ultimately I'd also be better than someone in some areas but all depends on the eyes of the beholder.

I rarely bother messaging first. If someone is attracted to my profile they would take the time to message in order to get the man behind the profile.

If not, I'll just write shit on the forums.

Nice cock op "

Couldnt have said it better

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cheers all. I had chanced my arm in the past with well written messages pertaining to the recipients profile, only to get the inevitable deleted without being read (as is the case for 99% of the messages I send to women).

Guess I'll just persevere!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You fancy her/him/them,

You message her/him/them,

He/she/they say yes, get in there!

He/she/they say no, nothing lost, but knowledge gained that you weren't for her/him/them.

Simple as that.

All this leagues bollocks is laughable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There was a similar thread recently and someone wrote that if you don’t contact those you fancy because you think they are out of your league, then it is kinda of insulting to those you do contact.

Food for thought

I did think there was a danger it miggt come across like that. I guess when I say out of my league I meant women of Fab in general!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I totally understand the out of my league viewpoint.

My hotlist is full of them.

Why not take a chance? Look at the guys they've met.

Is there a common theme in the guys they meet? Yes.

Do I fit that mould in any way? No.

What on earth would be the point in writing a well crafted intro message when it's obvious I'm not remotely like who they meet?

I'm realistic about what I bring to the party here.

I've met some truly amazing people through Forum socials, several of them on my hotlist. Would I have messaged them? Probably not...

Messages are easy to delete when they're one in hundreds of others.

But in a social where we're all there to chat and have a great time, much easier."

Good answer. To a degree, 'tis a numbers game for sure. Will have to see about a forum social event, at least to come away with a verification to show I'm not some weirdo...

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By *ex God and Sex KittenCouple
over a year ago

Planet kitten, North East usually but occasionally South as well

As my mam always says

"Shy bairns get nowt"

Put more simply, if you don't ask you don't get.

SG & Sk xx

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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago

so near and yet so far....

I’ve had some lovely surprises from men in the forums, all it takes is a wink, message and a whole new friendship happens...

Just got to start somewhere and take a chance...

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By *hedevilwearspradaWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere nearby

My hotlist is full of people who are way out of my league, but I still have a look.

I’ve also had meets with people who I’ve thought would be out of my league, either looks wise/intellectually but we have got on great and still meet now. I still think they are, but that’s the way my mind works.

What have you got to lose, send them a cheeky message and see how it goes!

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

The moment you use the phrase "Out of my league" or "better than me" then you are done for. It's time to re-evaluate what you are doing here.

It's all subjective, and we've all seen the photos in the papers of "Hot women with ugly men" but they're loaded so that's why they are with them, right...

But as others have testified here, if there's no connection then there's no sex, why would it be different for these women?

The men have confidence, which is far more attractive than chisel jaws, bulging abs and nothing else to offer.

Give me an ordinary Joe with plenty of go over a Chippendale Frank who acts like a plank any day.

Mrs

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Food for thought

There's being attracted to people and not contacting them and being attracted to people you do contact.

Attraction is attraction.

Contacting the people youre attracted to but think you have a realistic chance of a connection with isn't insulting to them, it's simply realistic.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"My hotlist is full of people who are way out of my league, but I still have a look.

What have you got to lose, send them a cheeky message and see how it goes!"

Hotlist is a bit meh to us, we prefer the simple Bookmark tag as we use it for other reasons than to store whose hot. We get your reasoning though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Again, thanks all.

Im normally pretty gregarious in social situations and do ok outside of fab, so if I've come across as negative or shy then apologies.

Just need to take the bull by the horns here then I suppose!

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

[Removed by poster at 19/06/18 10:32:20]

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

Food for thought

There's being attracted to people and not contacting them and being attracted to people you do contact.

Attraction is attraction.

Contacting the people youre attracted to but think you have a realistic chance of a connection with isn't insulting to them, it's simply realistic."

No its not. That is an assumption on your part driven by an insecure rationale. You don't know that.

Mrs

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I totally understand the out of my league viewpoint.

My hotlist is full of them.

Why not take a chance? Look at the guys they've met.

Is there a common theme in the guys they meet? Yes.

Do I fit that mould in any way? No.

What on earth would be the point in writing a well crafted intro message when it's obvious I'm not remotely like who they meet?

I'm realistic about what I bring to the party here.

I've met some truly amazing people through Forum socials, several of them on my hotlist. Would I have messaged them? Probably not...

Messages are easy to delete when they're one in hundreds of others.

But in a social where we're all there to chat and have a great time, much easier.

Good answer. To a degree, 'tis a numbers game for sure. Will have to see about a forum social event, at least to come away with a verification to show I'm not some weirdo..."

There's no guarantee of that, why do you think my veris are hidden.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The moment you use the phrase "Out of my league" or "better than me" then you are done for. It's time to re-evaluate what you are doing here.

It's all subjective, and we've all seen the photos in the papers of "Hot women with ugly men" but they're loaded so that's why they are with them, right...

But as others have testified here, if there's no connection then there's no sex, why would it be different for these women?

The men have confidence, which is far more attractive than chisel jaws, bulging abs and nothing else to offer.

Give me an ordinary Joe with plenty of go over a Chippendale Frank who acts like a plank any day.

Mrs"

Absolutely nailed it

Dad-bod joe with banter, tales of his life, things that make me laugh anyway. Lots of eye-contact, small touches and flirting, and you have it. You never know who that connection will come with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The moment you use the phrase "Out of my league" or "better than me" then you are done for. It's time to re-evaluate what you are doing here.

It's all subjective, and we've all seen the photos in the papers of "Hot women with ugly men" but they're loaded so that's why they are with them, right...

But as others have testified here, if there's no connection then there's no sex, why would it be different for these women?

The men have confidence, which is far more attractive than chisel jaws, bulging abs and nothing else to offer.

Give me an ordinary Joe with plenty of go over a Chippendale Frank who acts like a plank any day.

Mrs

Absolutely nailed it

Dad-bod joe with banter, tales of his life, things that make me laugh anyway. Lots of eye-contact, small touches and flirting, and you have it. You never know who that connection will come with. "

Thats sounds a lot more like me than a donkey-cocked bodybuilder with zero personality!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Food for thought

There's being attracted to people and not contacting them and being attracted to people you do contact.

Attraction is attraction.

Contacting the people youre attracted to but think you have a realistic chance of a connection with isn't insulting to them, it's simply realistic."

From your side you think you’re being unrealistic. What if that person would have replied as they didn’t see the match as unrealistic?

Some times we are hard on ourselves and our judgement of ourself is skewered.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain...

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

And spare a thought for those blessed to have magnificent socially correct exterior attributes, if everybody thought that they're out of their league, they'd get nothing.

Sometimes the best books in the liberary are the tatty well thumbed ones with plain covers.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone else not bother with those that, although you'd like to contact, you dont bother becuse you feel they just wouldnt be interested in the first place"

Yup, all the time. Same in the outside world too. I'm v shy and insecure about my looks and likeability in general.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

I don't believe in leagues ... I do know that some folk will find me attractive and others not I'm confident enough to understand and accept this fact..

those I find attractive and or interesting I message .

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By *W ChapMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"No one is out of any ones league

We all like different things "

This....always try, just be nice and polite and respectful if things don't go your way.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

"I don't believe in leagues ... I do know that some folk will find me attractive and others not I'm confident enough to understand and accept this fact..

those I find attractive and or interesting I message . "

Those that don't message back I tell myself I was out of their league ...makes me feel better..

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Food for thought

There's being attracted to people and not contacting them and being attracted to people you do contact.

Attraction is attraction.

Contacting the people youre attracted to but think you have a realistic chance of a connection with isn't insulting to them, it's simply realistic.

From your side you think you’re being unrealistic. What if that person would have replied as they didn’t see the match as unrealistic?

Some times we are hard on ourselves and our judgement of ourself is skewered."

You're right, we don't really know if our approach would be well received or not until we send it.

We can draw some reasonable conclusions though.

I see someone I'm attracted to. Our profiles match pretty well.

So far so good. Then I look at her verifications. All from guys 20 years younger than me. They all have six packs, good hair, good looking guys.

Why would I think I'd have a remote chance of my message being read, let alone a face to face?

I'm trying not be argumentative or negative here.

I'm tempted to try an experiment. Let's say there are a few profiles on this thread who are on my OOML list.

What say I pm them and see where we get to?

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

I don't believe in giving people false hope.

It's all very well to say there are no "leagues", but the fact is that the OP is a stocky middle aged man who can't accommodate. Objectively. (and no personal reflection on him, I am sure he is a lovely bloke), that puts him pretty much at the bottom of the fab desirability stakes.

On the other hand, a woman who has been fabbed lots is at the very top of the said stakes. She will have her pick of literally hundreds of men.

Of course, it's possible that women like that may go for someone like the OP, but then it's also possible Panama will win the world cup.

It's up to the OP whether he wants to spend time messaging the fabbed women, given those odds. I wouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't believe in giving people false hope.

On the other hand, a woman who has been fabbed lots is at the very top of the said stakes. She will have her pick of literally hundreds of men.

Of course, it's possible that women like that may go for someone like the OP, but then it's also possible Panama will win the world cup.

It's up to the OP whether he wants to spend time messaging the fabbed women, given those odds. I wouldn't. "

Thanks for comparing me to Panama! I think more of a Sweden to be fair, but I get what youre saying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cheers all. I had chanced my arm in the past with well written messages pertaining to the recipients profile, only to get the inevitable deleted without being read (as is the case for 99% of the messages I send to women).

Guess I'll just persevere!

One thing i will say OP, if you are going to message someone from the hot pics. Wait for a quiet time. When i posted pictures regularly and appeared on the hot pics, the amount of messages were shocking! You need to wait until they are off the first page or you a likely to get lost in the flood

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

A man who is a Sweden in conventional dating because a Panama in the swinging world. Conversely a woman who is a Sweden becomes a Brazil.

That's because of the ratios...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A man who is a Sweden in conventional dating because a Panama in the swinging world. Conversely a woman who is a Sweden becomes a Brazil.

That's because of the ratios... "

Well, yes - true!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school. "

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

. In all honesty, i think if you are attracted to someone, regardless as to whether you feel they may not respond, you should definitely message anyway. You don't have anything to lose by doing so, but you never know, you may meet some lovely ladies as a result. As the saying goes.. ' you have to be in it to win it'.

Thank you for the compliment

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

I agree Mystique, you're beautiful xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected. "

But by saying that, you are hinting that the OP should not message people he is attracted to, for fear of rejection. If you read my comment, i made no mention of 'hot'. I said if the OP is attracted to someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

I agree Mystique, you're beautiful xx"

Thank you lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

I agree Mystique, you're beautiful xx

Thank you lovely

xx"

You're welcome, beautiful. How far from me are you? xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe creating this thread was all that u needed worked for me

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Not to sound too old fashioned, but I will say the same as I told my youngest son. Feint heart never won fair maiden. There is many a hot woman, who rarely gets asked out because of the assumption she is bombarded with offers.

This happens to blokes too ladies, just in case you fancy trying your luck with me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op you have a good body and a nice cock.

Wear them with pride so to speak and just try.

I know rejection smarts, believe me I know lol, but you could get some fun from it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Op you have a good body and a nice cock.

Wear them with pride so to speak and just try.

I know rejection smarts, believe me I know lol, but you could get some fun from it x "

Thank you

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

I think you just need to be realistic. The OPs original question was whether he should bother messaging people who will obviously be getting tons of messages. My point is that it's probably a waste of time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

It was really more about other peoples attitudes to contacting those that they suspect they have little to no chance with. To try your luck and mesaage anyway, or save the (probably wasted) effort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

I would have thought the aim would be to try. Any female on here is likely to ignore some messages. But that shouldn't stop someone from trying. People put some on pedestals on here. When the reality is, attraction is relative. It seems that the OP is already predicting a 'no response' from these women. His expectations are minimal, so I'm doubtful it would rock him, if they didn't reply. But he would have a lovely surprise if they did. I genuinely see no downside to him trying. They do reply to some messages. One of them could be the OP's

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Loking the sound of this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Loking the sound of this.

*Liking

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

To truth is, message somebody, be attentive to their profile, be original yet truthful and be respectful of the reply, or lack of. You may appeal to them and the rest is up to you to maintain that relationship.

People have said you have nothing to lose... For most that's true.

But if your whole sense of being is that nobody can offend you and your feelings, then this place isn't for you. People will and do, deliberately or not, you need a thick skin. If you haven't these qualities then you will lose self dignity and worth. It isn't rocket science, but your success journey begins with being comfortable in your own skin, warts n all...

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"U never know until u try"

Worked for you didn’t it, love. Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort. "

You are speaking to someone who has been in that position quite a few times. That is not a brag, but a statement of fact. I don't reply to many messages, but i do reply to some, just like I'm sure the lady currently at number two would do. I personally think the OP should try. You think he shouldn't waste his time. Differing opinions, but you are right, it is up to the OP. We are just offering our opinions

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

As a matter of interest, would you have replied to the OP when you were in that position

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Food for thought

There's being attracted to people and not contacting them and being attracted to people you do contact.

Attraction is attraction.

Contacting the people youre attracted to but think you have a realistic chance of a connection with isn't insulting to them, it's simply realistic.

From your side you think you’re being unrealistic. What if that person would have replied as they didn’t see the match as unrealistic?

Some times we are hard on ourselves and our judgement of ourself is skewered.

You're right, we don't really know if our approach would be well received or not until we send it.

We can draw some reasonable conclusions though.

I see someone I'm attracted to. Our profiles match pretty well.

So far so good. Then I look at her verifications. All from guys 20 years younger than me. They all have six packs, good hair, good looking guys.

Why would I think I'd have a remote chance of my message being read, let alone a face to face?

I'm trying not be argumentative or negative here.

I'm tempted to try an experiment. Let's say there are a few profiles on this thread who are on my OOML list.

What say I pm them and see where we get to?

The only noise I've heard since I posted this is the sound of filters being reset and block buttons being hit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

As a matter of interest, would you have replied to the OP when you were in that position

It would depend on if his message stood out. Oh and i just realised. I know the woman who's number 2. I only now looked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The same goes for us ladies ... how do you think we feel when guys are looking for someone off hot pics .. we are not all page 3 models .... but some of us are jolly nice .... "

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

As a matter of interest, would you have replied to the OP when you were in that position

It would depend on if his message stood out. Oh and i just realised. I know the woman who's number 2. I only now looked

So what someone looks like has no bearing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

As a matter of interest, would you have replied to the OP when you were in that position

It would depend on if his message stood out. Oh and i just realised. I know the woman who's number 2. I only now looked

So what someone looks like has no bearing? "

To a certain extent, yes. But being frank, looks aren't everything. Perhaps that's just me though, as I'm looking for a little more than NSA. I just think the OP shouldn't be put off. Because he doesnt know the mindset or type of guy a woman goes for, behind the face, not everyone will judge a man, based on looks alone, if that makes sense?

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

As a matter of interest, would you have replied to the OP when you were in that position

It would depend on if his message stood out. Oh and i just realised. I know the woman who's number 2. I only now looked

So what someone looks like has no bearing?

I agree looks aren't everything, but on a site like this they are pretty important...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

As a matter of interest, would you have replied to the OP when you were in that position

It would depend on if his message stood out. Oh and i just realised. I know the woman who's number 2. I only now looked

So what someone looks like has no bearing?

"
I actually have to disagree with you there, the amount of times a guy years sorry your not my type is astonishingly high

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

As a matter of interest, would you have replied to the OP when you were in that position

It would depend on if his message stood out. Oh and i just realised. I know the woman who's number 2. I only now looked

So what someone looks like has no bearing?

I agree looks aren't everything, but on a site like this they are pretty important... "

You post in the forums, so surely you are aware that some have differing opinions on the subject. Even on fab

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

On the slim chance anyone thought I was out of their league, I have been relegated several divisions. So have a go, you might win!

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

As a matter of interest, would you have replied to the OP when you were in that position

It would depend on if his message stood out. Oh and i just realised. I know the woman who's number 2. I only now looked

So what someone looks like has no bearing?

I agree looks aren't everything, but on a site like this they are pretty important...

You post in the forums, so surely you are aware that some have differing opinions on the subject. Even on fab

I think there is a tendency to underplay the importance of looks, so as not to look shallow...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

As a matter of interest, would you have replied to the OP when you were in that position

It would depend on if his message stood out. Oh and i just realised. I know the woman who's number 2. I only now looked

So what someone looks like has no bearing?

I agree looks aren't everything, but on a site like this they are pretty important...

You post in the forums, so surely you are aware that some have differing opinions on the subject. Even on fab

I think there is a tendency to underplay the importance of looks, so as not to look shallow... "

I can only go by my own mindset. I'm not saying that there won't be some who will be solely focused on looks, as there definitely will be some like that. But attraction is relative. Not everyone goes for the athletic six pack type body and gorgeous looking face. People have types. The OP may fit into one of those women's types.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

As a matter of interest, would you have replied to the OP when you were in that position

It would depend on if his message stood out. Oh and i just realised. I know the woman who's number 2. I only now looked

So what someone looks like has no bearing?

I agree looks aren't everything, but on a site like this they are pretty important...

You post in the forums, so surely you are aware that some have differing opinions on the subject. Even on fab

I think there is a tendency to underplay the importance of looks, so as not to look shallow...

He might. As I say, it's all about percentage. Personal experience tells me that very few ultra fabbed women on here will have stocky middle aged men who can't accommodate as their. "type"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

As a matter of interest, would you have replied to the OP when you were in that position

It would depend on if his message stood out. Oh and i just realised. I know the woman who's number 2. I only now looked

So what someone looks like has no bearing?

I agree looks aren't everything, but on a site like this they are pretty important...

You post in the forums, so surely you are aware that some have differing opinions on the subject. Even on fab

I think there is a tendency to underplay the importance of looks, so as not to look shallow...

He might. As I say, it's all about percentage. Personal experience tells me that very few ultra fabbed women on here will have stocky middle aged men who can't accommodate as their. "type" "

Well maybe the OP will message one of those few who do.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

As a matter of interest, would you have replied to the OP when you were in that position

It would depend on if his message stood out. Oh and i just realised. I know the woman who's number 2. I only now looked

So what someone looks like has no bearing?

I agree looks aren't everything, but on a site like this they are pretty important...

You post in the forums, so surely you are aware that some have differing opinions on the subject. Even on fab

I think there is a tendency to underplay the importance of looks, so as not to look shallow...

He might. As I say, it's all about percentage. Personal experience tells me that very few ultra fabbed women on here will have stocky middle aged men who can't accommodate as their. "type"

Well maybe the OP will message one of those few who do.

Well if he finds one who says. "I am really into stocky middle aged guys who can't accommodate", good luck to him. Can't say I have ever seen it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think all you can do is try, there’s lots of people I speak to that I’d consider out of my league but they see something in me that appeals to them. And socials are a great way to meet people and really get to know them. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be yourself.

Lots of women like caring trustworthy men who are always there for them.

Looks can soon wear thin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

As a matter of interest, would you have replied to the OP when you were in that position

It would depend on if his message stood out. Oh and i just realised. I know the woman who's number 2. I only now looked

So what someone looks like has no bearing?

I agree looks aren't everything, but on a site like this they are pretty important...

You post in the forums, so surely you are aware that some have differing opinions on the subject. Even on fab

I think there is a tendency to underplay the importance of looks, so as not to look shallow...

He might. As I say, it's all about percentage. Personal experience tells me that very few ultra fabbed women on here will have stocky middle aged men who can't accommodate as their. "type"

Well maybe the OP will message one of those few who do.

Well if he finds one who says. "I am really into stocky middle aged guys who can't accommodate", good luck to him. Can't say I have ever seen it

Check some of their veris out. I'm sure you'll see it then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I'll just persevere!

Wasnt just the hotpics - i mean those that would be considered "hot" by the majority - which is 90% of all women here to be fair. (incidentally I hate the word "hot" used to describe someone)

Beutiful face by the way - you remind me of a woman I know who I've recently (platonically) re-acquainted with since losing touch after school.

Apologies lovely. I skimmed the post

Thank you for the compliment

That's fine as far as it goes but

1. Perhaps his time would be better spent messaging people who are more likely to reply and

2. It can be soul destroying being continually rejected.

Look at the woman who is number two on fabbed pics. Being a man myself, I can say she will be very attractive to most men. She will be getting upwards of hundred messages a day.

The OP could spend half a minute sending a "look at my profile" messages. That's virtually hundred per cent guaranteed delete.

Or he could spend half a hour sending a carefully crafted message. That's probably a, 99% chance of delete.

It's up to him if he thinks that chance is worth the effort.

As a matter of interest, would you have replied to the OP when you were in that position

It would depend on if his message stood out. Oh and i just realised. I know the woman who's number 2. I only now looked

So what someone looks like has no bearing?

I agree looks aren't everything, but on a site like this they are pretty important...

You post in the forums, so surely you are aware that some have differing opinions on the subject. Even on fab

I think there is a tendency to underplay the importance of looks, so as not to look shallow...

He might. As I say, it's all about percentage. Personal experience tells me that very few ultra fabbed women on here will have stocky middle aged men who can't accommodate as their. "type"

Well maybe the OP will message one of those few who do.

Well if he finds one who says. "I am really into stocky middle aged guys who can't accommodate", good luck to him. Can't say I have ever seen it

Check some of their veris out. I'm sure you'll see it then

Let's just agree to disagree.im getting finger cramp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Food for thought

There's being attracted to people and not contacting them and being attracted to people you do contact.

Attraction is attraction.

Contacting the people youre attracted to but think you have a realistic chance of a connection with isn't insulting to them, it's simply realistic.

From your side you think you’re being unrealistic. What if that person would have replied as they didn’t see the match as unrealistic?

Some times we are hard on ourselves and our judgement of ourself is skewered.

You're right, we don't really know if our approach would be well received or not until we send it.

We can draw some reasonable conclusions though.

I see someone I'm attracted to. Our profiles match pretty well.

So far so good. Then I look at her verifications. All from guys 20 years younger than me. They all have six packs, good hair, good looking guys.

Why would I think I'd have a remote chance of my message being read, let alone a face to face?

I'm trying not be argumentative or negative here.

I'm tempted to try an experiment. Let's say there are a few profiles on this thread who are on my OOML list.

What say I pm them and see where we get to?

Never thought you were arguing

I do agree as I see guys and look at their verifications and then shuffle back to my corner of fab!

But I’m trying are not to be too hard on myself and remember all the positive comments on here. We are all looking for something different and we may just be someone’s cuppa of tea without even realising.

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"I'm mid 40s, a bit on the stocky side but working on it, not bad looking (subjective I know) and never get any messages - but not a problem, this isnt a "fishing for attention" thread.

In all honesty op I’ve met loads of guys on here that I’d consider out of my league! I’m a lucky bitch!

I’d never spend ages on an opening message though!

What I DO spend ages on is my profile - that’s my (and yours- and everyone else’s) free advertising space - and yet most people utilise the space badly!

I make sure my profile text is informative but amusing - and a reflection of what I’m like as a person!

I regularly upload a variety of pics (noticed yours are all much of a muchness - perhaps try more variety? For ideas look at some of the successful Male forum profiles - not all have the bodies of Adonis’) to show people what I look like NOW - not in 2002 - and I keep them varied!

Because of all that - when I send a message I keep it brief and to the point - just referring them to my profile - perhaps attach a couple of pics I like from my profile - and ask them to get in touch if they’re interested!

Now I KNOW it’s a lot easier for a woman on here - but it’s exactly what I’d do if I were a man, too!

Good luck op!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm mid 40s, a bit on the stocky side but working on it, not bad looking (subjective I know) and never get any messages - but not a problem, this isnt a "fishing for attention" thread.

In all honesty op I’ve met loads of guys on here that I’d consider out of my league! I’m a lucky bitch!

I’d never spend ages on an opening message though!

What I DO spend ages on is my profile - that’s my (and yours- and everyone else’s) free advertising space - and yet most people utilise the space badly!

I make sure my profile text is informative but amusing - and a reflection of what I’m like as a person!

Now I KNOW it’s a lot easier for a woman on here - but it’s exactly what I’d do if I were a man, too!

Good luck op!

Thanks Peachy. In fairness, you did reply to a message a little while back and were very complimentary on my looks, so thank you.

I take your point re: pictures, they are a bit crap but I can assure you they are all recent (within the last couple of months or so)

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Food for thought

There's being attracted to people and not contacting them and being attracted to people you do contact.

Attraction is attraction.

Contacting the people youre attracted to but think you have a realistic chance of a connection with isn't insulting to them, it's simply realistic.

From your side you think you’re being unrealistic. What if that person would have replied as they didn’t see the match as unrealistic?

Some times we are hard on ourselves and our judgement of ourself is skewered.

You're right, we don't really know if our approach would be well received or not until we send it.

We can draw some reasonable conclusions though.

I see someone I'm attracted to. Our profiles match pretty well.

So far so good. Then I look at her verifications. All from guys 20 years younger than me. They all have six packs, good hair, good looking guys.

Why would I think I'd have a remote chance of my message being read, let alone a face to face?

I'm trying not be argumentative or negative here.

I'm tempted to try an experiment. Let's say there are a few profiles on this thread who are on my OOML list.

What say I pm them and see where we get to?

Never thought you were arguing

I do agree as I see guys and look at their verifications and then shuffle back to my corner of fab!

I think you're bang on with the "without even realising it" comment.

Someone who is on my OOML list told me she was looking to meeting me the other day.

Whilst it's only a social and there'll be dozens of other people there, I was still totally gobsmacked that she'd even noticed me, let alone was looking forward to meeting.

Maybe there's hope for us all eh?

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

Food for thought

There's being attracted to people and not contacting them and being attracted to people you do contact.

Attraction is attraction.

Contacting the people youre attracted to but think you have a realistic chance of a connection with isn't insulting to them, it's simply realistic.

From your side you think you’re being unrealistic. What if that person would have replied as they didn’t see the match as unrealistic?

Some times we are hard on ourselves and our judgement of ourself is skewered.

You're right, we don't really know if our approach would be well received or not until we send it.

We can draw some reasonable conclusions though.

I see someone I'm attracted to. Our profiles match pretty well.

So far so good. Then I look at her verifications. All from guys 20 years younger than me. They all have six packs, good hair, good looking guys.

Why would I think I'd have a remote chance of my message being read, let alone a face to face?

I'm trying not be argumentative or negative here.

I'm tempted to try an experiment. Let's say there are a few profiles on this thread who are on my OOML list.

What say I pm them and see where we get to?

Never thought you were arguing

I do agree as I see guys and look at their verifications and then shuffle back to my corner of fab!

I think you're bang on with the "without even realising it" comment.

Someone who is on my OOML list told me she was looking to meeting me the other day.

Whilst it's only a social and there'll be dozens of other people there, I was still totally gobsmacked that she'd even noticed me, let alone was looking forward to meeting.

Maybe there's hope for us all eh?

If that’s me - I’m inordinately fond of you you daft sod! I’ve asked about you at just about every social since the last one you came to!

If it’s not about me - I’m off to crawl into a quiet corner with a book and a hot beverage - I’ll be back out in a week or so!

Oh - and btw - what does OOML mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Food for thought

There's being attracted to people and not contacting them and being attracted to people you do contact.

Attraction is attraction.

Contacting the people youre attracted to but think you have a realistic chance of a connection with isn't insulting to them, it's simply realistic.

From your side you think you’re being unrealistic. What if that person would have replied as they didn’t see the match as unrealistic?

Some times we are hard on ourselves and our judgement of ourself is skewered.

You're right, we don't really know if our approach would be well received or not until we send it.

We can draw some reasonable conclusions though.

I see someone I'm attracted to. Our profiles match pretty well.

So far so good. Then I look at her verifications. All from guys 20 years younger than me. They all have six packs, good hair, good looking guys.

Why would I think I'd have a remote chance of my message being read, let alone a face to face?

I'm trying not be argumentative or negative here.

I'm tempted to try an experiment. Let's say there are a few profiles on this thread who are on my OOML list.

What say I pm them and see where we get to?

Never thought you were arguing

I do agree as I see guys and look at their verifications and then shuffle back to my corner of fab!

I think you're bang on with the "without even realising it" comment.

Someone who is on my OOML list told me she was looking to meeting me the other day.

Whilst it's only a social and there'll be dozens of other people there, I was still totally gobsmacked that she'd even noticed me, let alone was looking forward to meeting.

Maybe there's hope for us all eh?

If that’s me - I’m inordinately fond of you you daft sod! I’ve asked about you at just about every social since the last one you came to!

If it’s not about me - I’m off to crawl into a quiet corner with a book and a hot beverage - I’ll be back out in a week or so!

Oh - and btw - what does OOML mean?

Out of my league... I expected more from you peachy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm mid 40s, a bit on the stocky side but working on it, not bad looking (subjective I know) and never get any messages - but not a problem, this isnt a "fishing for attention" thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm mid 40s, a bit on the stocky side but working on it, not bad looking (subjective I know) and never get any messages - but not a problem, this isnt a "fishing for attention" thread.

I look at the profiles of many Hot Guys but would never message them. I always feel they would not be interested in me because I'm pushing 50. I'm sure lots of people have these feelings, you are not alone x

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

Food for thought

There's being attracted to people and not contacting them and being attracted to people you do contact.

Attraction is attraction.

Contacting the people youre attracted to but think you have a realistic chance of a connection with isn't insulting to them, it's simply realistic.

From your side you think you’re being unrealistic. What if that person would have replied as they didn’t see the match as unrealistic?

Some times we are hard on ourselves and our judgement of ourself is skewered.

You're right, we don't really know if our approach would be well received or not until we send it.

We can draw some reasonable conclusions though.

I see someone I'm attracted to. Our profiles match pretty well.

So far so good. Then I look at her verifications. All from guys 20 years younger than me. They all have six packs, good hair, good looking guys.

Why would I think I'd have a remote chance of my message being read, let alone a face to face?

I'm trying not be argumentative or negative here.

I'm tempted to try an experiment. Let's say there are a few profiles on this thread who are on my OOML list.

What say I pm them and see where we get to?

Never thought you were arguing

I do agree as I see guys and look at their verifications and then shuffle back to my corner of fab!

I think you're bang on with the "without even realising it" comment.

Someone who is on my OOML list told me she was looking to meeting me the other day.

Whilst it's only a social and there'll be dozens of other people there, I was still totally gobsmacked that she'd even noticed me, let alone was looking forward to meeting.

Maybe there's hope for us all eh?

If that’s me - I’m inordinately fond of you you daft sod! I’ve asked about you at just about every social since the last one you came to!

If it’s not about me - I’m off to crawl into a quiet corner with a book and a hot beverage - I’ll be back out in a week or so!

Oh - and btw - what does OOML mean?

Out of my league... I expected more from you peachy

Oh I SEE! I think pretty much everyone I’ve met has been out of my league in one way or another! Take Sting Keycock for instance - he’s one of the most intelligent, interesting people I know - and a joy to spend time with!

I’m sure there’s more than one type of league!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would message anyone just to get a laugh if i see a status i can have fun with or a forum post i can play around with but thats generally the only time i pm someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Remember everyone has their own likes, dislikes and type. Just because in your opinion they're hot doesn't mean you're not hot in their eyes. Have more confidence and go for it, after all what's the worst that can happen

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"I'm mid 40s, a bit on the stocky side but working on it, not bad looking (subjective I know) and never get any messages - but not a problem, this isnt a "fishing for attention" thread.

I think you all overthink it!

I regularly message superhot chaps - even if it’s just to compliment them on their pictures!

Some reply - some don’t! Some have ended in meets - and they’ve been lovely guys as well as jaw droppingly gorgeous! Then I go home and high five the mirror!

I think it depends on your level of self esteem. Mine is pretty healthy I think. If a total stranger doesn’t want to meet me for coffee or take me to bed - so what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you all overthink it!

I regularly message superhot chaps - even if it’s just to compliment them on their pictures!

Some reply - some don’t! Some have ended in meets - and they’ve been lovely guys as well as jaw droppingly gorgeous! Then I go home and high five the mirror!

I think it depends on your level of self esteem. Mine is pretty healthy I think. If a total stranger doesn’t want to meet me for coffee or take me to bed - so what?

This.

I wish I had such smyself esteem. It's the only way to approach things like this.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I don't believe in leagues.

In fact I've just looked at the men's hot pics, I might message the ones that meet my preferences!!

You seem like a nice guy OP, in fact we've chatted before so I must be in the 1% that replied. Just look for people who are happy to meet at hotels and who are looking for a guy like you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes. They don't reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm mid 40s, a bit on the stocky side but working on it, not bad looking (subjective I know) and never get any messages - but not a problem, this isnt a "fishing for attention" thread.

I think you all overthink it!

I regularly message superhot chaps - even if it’s just to compliment them on their pictures!

Some reply - some don’t! Some have ended in meets - and they’ve been lovely guys as well as jaw droppingly gorgeous! Then I go home and high five the mirror!

I think it depends on your level of self esteem. Mine is pretty healthy I think. If a total stranger doesn’t want to meet me for coffee or take me to bed - so what?

Im still waiting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm mid 40s, a bit on the stocky side but working on it, not bad looking (subjective I know) and never get any messages - but not a problem, this isnt a "fishing for attention" thread.

I think you all overthink it!

I regularly message superhot chaps - even if it’s just to compliment them on their pictures!

Some reply - some don’t! Some have ended in meets - and they’ve been lovely guys as well as jaw droppingly gorgeous! Then I go home and high five the mirror!

I think it depends on your level of self esteem. Mine is pretty healthy I think. If a total stranger doesn’t want to meet me for coffee or take me to bed - so what?

Nope, I don't overthink it, I'm just not confident like you.

I look in the mirror and want to smash it. That's the problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm mid 40s, a bit on the stocky side but working on it, not bad looking (subjective I know) and never get any messages - but not a problem, this isnt a "fishing for attention" thread.

I think you all overthink it!

I regularly message superhot chaps - even if it’s just to compliment them on their pictures!

Some reply - some don’t! Some have ended in meets - and they’ve been lovely guys as well as jaw droppingly gorgeous! Then I go home and high five the mirror!

I think it depends on your level of self esteem. Mine is pretty healthy I think. If a total stranger doesn’t want to meet me for coffee or take me to bed - so what?

Nope, I don't overthink it, I'm just not confident like you.

I look in the mirror and want to smash it. That's the problem. "

You look great from where im looking

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"I don't believe in leagues.

In fact I've just looked at the men's hot pics, I might message the ones that meet my preferences!!

You seem like a nice guy OP, in fact we've chatted before so I must be in the 1% that replied. Just look for people who are happy to meet at hotels and who are looking for a guy like you."

You definitely should! I’ve had several great meets with guys from hot photos!

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Food for thought

There's being attracted to people and not contacting them and being attracted to people you do contact.

Attraction is attraction.

Contacting the people youre attracted to but think you have a realistic chance of a connection with isn't insulting to them, it's simply realistic.

From your side you think you’re being unrealistic. What if that person would have replied as they didn’t see the match as unrealistic?

Some times we are hard on ourselves and our judgement of ourself is skewered.

You're right, we don't really know if our approach would be well received or not until we send it.

We can draw some reasonable conclusions though.

I see someone I'm attracted to. Our profiles match pretty well.

So far so good. Then I look at her verifications. All from guys 20 years younger than me. They all have six packs, good hair, good looking guys.

Why would I think I'd have a remote chance of my message being read, let alone a face to face?

I'm trying not be argumentative or negative here.

I'm tempted to try an experiment. Let's say there are a few profiles on this thread who are on my OOML list.

What say I pm them and see where we get to?

Never thought you were arguing

I do agree as I see guys and look at their verifications and then shuffle back to my corner of fab!

I think you're bang on with the "without even realising it" comment.

Someone who is on my OOML list told me she was looking to meeting me the other day.

Whilst it's only a social and there'll be dozens of other people there, I was still totally gobsmacked that she'd even noticed me, let alone was looking forward to meeting.

Maybe there's hope for us all eh?

If that’s me - I’m inordinately fond of you you daft sod! I’ve asked about you at just about every social since the last one you came to!

If it’s not about me - I’m off to crawl into a quiet corner with a book and a hot beverage - I’ll be back out in a week or so!

Oh - and btw - what does OOML mean?

Out of my league... I expected more from you peachy

I’m sure there’s more than one type of league!

Blushing like a beacon......

Thank you Peach, love you to bits.

Looking forward to playing connect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I look in the mirror and want to smash it. That's the problem. "

Your mirror is an idiot.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I'm mid 40s, a bit on the stocky side but working on it, not bad looking (subjective I know) and never get any messages - but not a problem, this isnt a "fishing for attention" thread.

I think you all overthink it!

I regularly message superhot chaps - even if it’s just to compliment them on their pictures!

Some reply - some don’t! Some have ended in meets - and they’ve been lovely guys as well as jaw droppingly gorgeous! Then I go home and high five the mirror!

I think it depends on your level of self esteem. Mine is pretty healthy I think. If a total stranger doesn’t want to meet me for coffee or take me to bed - so what?

Nope, I don't overthink it, I'm just not confident like you.

I look in the mirror and want to smash it. That's the problem. "

Dana Dana Dana, you are one of the loveliest people I know.

A regular on the Fab hotlists and one of my best Fab friends.

You're lovely and don't let anyone least of all yourself tell you different.....

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

Just an aside, on visiting clubs we've come to meet a few people off of here that profiles could worry/intimate some, but the reality is they are ordinary folk that love a natter, a laugh and a bit of fun. We stand behind the notion, that unless specific instructions are asked, most will be receptive to a well crafted message that attempts to flatter the recipient. That's not saying a meet, let alone a sex meet is going to be on the cards, but there's scope to be replied to.

Invest the effort and time, think with the brain, speak with some passion about the people you are trying to engage with.

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