FabSwingers.com forum: more to life than just shagging?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

how important is it that you can be friends with your shags?

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By *over-manMan
over a year ago

motherwell

very inportant i dont just shag any one

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By *DSRMan
over a year ago

leicester

"how important is it that you can be friends with your shags?"

never been called.. 'just' shagging to me hun lol

& i like to be friends, because if i find someone fuckable i expect i will also find them interesting or funny... that's the way of the mind isn't it? To find good things in things we expect to be good x

Sorta makes sense????

blah x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ta me personally it's very important

I do the faceless sex sometimes as no doubt we all do or have but I love likemined people and I like to stay in contact and yes call them friends xx

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

we are still friends with the first couple we ever swapped with - was even out with them and their family last night - Great friends with them and we all know when to be 'cheeky' and when not.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

Is important to me, I have to 'like' the person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ta me personally it's very important

I do the faceless sex sometimes as no doubt we all do or have but I love likemined people and I like to stay in contact and yes call them friends xx

"
I agree with soapy I havnt had many meets but those that I hav met I count as a friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

very important

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Very important to me....maybe why I find it hard to meet new meets if that makes sense....

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

[Removed by poster at 13/11/11 15:58:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

very important to me

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By *over-manMan
over a year ago

motherwell

soapy iam your friend lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Extremely.. even if we've only just met them an hour before we all pile on top of the duvet for a session.

A kindled friendship leads to easy co-operation, and a relaxed atmosphere for everyone. Others may like it different, but that's how we like it

Wolf (sipping a coffee and a danish with Dev in the kitchen :P)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some differing levels, depends what the other side gives..i have some people ive known far too long...but that doesnt stop us having the odd shagnite or two

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

We like to be friends 1st and foremost, cant and never have done one nighters with someone we didn't know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For us its very important that we can get on with the people we meet as friends, if we dont stay friends then its not the end of the world but we like to stay in touch. its as much about social as it is about sexual for us.. though in clubs its a very different story.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not important at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i like the people i have sex with to be friends ... maybe not long team friends some are ... and some was friends at the time ... had some friends from the sites over 10 years .

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Its nice to make friendships out of swinging and I enjoy the social side of swinging so its great to go for a night out or a meal with someone...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i chatted in chat for a few weeks to a lush lady part of a cple ..went to thier house for wknd as a friend and now have a lush friends for life so swinging isnt all about sex have met em a few times socially and im happy they are in my life...they are a grt cple a wonderful family so i thank fab for introducing these grt peeps into my life.

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By *DSRMan
over a year ago

leicester

"Well i like the people i have sex with to be friends ... maybe not long team friends some are ... and some was friends at the time ... had some friends from the sites over 10 years ."

10 years

Incredible!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah theres a lot more ta life than shaggin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i prefer it . better i know them etter times had .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prefer to know and like them but thats not to say I havent slept with people that I dont particularly like, not from this site though, more when iv been out in a group and the one woman that seems to have annoyed me/done my head in is the one grabbing my hand at the end of the night after one to many lol.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

[Removed by poster at 13/11/11 17:28:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well i like the people i have sex with to be friends ... maybe not long team friends some are ... and some was friends at the time ... had some friends from the sites over 10 years .

10 years

Incredible!!!"

its not really incredible...its just having a long swinging ethic...

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"how important is it that you can be friends with your shags?"

Define friends?

Yes, it is important to be able to get on with someone for the chat inbetween the fun.

No, it isn't important for us that we all keep in touch afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes soapy there is, for example, one evening as the sun went down and the jungle fire was burning, down the track came a hobo hiking and he said boys I'm not turning, I'm headin for a land that's far away beside the crystal fountains ..........

So come with me we'll go and see the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains there's a land that's fair and bright where the handouts grow on bushes and you sleep out every night. Where the boxcars are all empty and the sun shines every day

On the birds and the bees and the cigarette trees. Where the lemonade springs where the bluebird sings

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains all the cops have wooden legs and the bulldogs all have rubber teeth and the hens lay soft boiled eggs. The farmer's trees are full of fruit and the barns are full of hay.

Oh, I'm bound to go where there ain't no snow where the rain don't fall and the wind don't blow ..... In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains you never change your socks

And the little streams of alcohol come a-tricklin' down the rocks

The brakemen have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind

There's a lake of stew and of whiskey too

You can paddle all around 'em in a big canoe

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains the jails are made of tin

And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in

There ain't no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks

I'm a goin to stay where you sleep all day

Where they hung the jerk that invented work

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

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By *drianukMan
over a year ago

Spain, Lancs

Nice if you are friends.

But I've had plenty of shags in which I've just met the girl and its been great fun.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"how important is it that you can be friends with your shags?

Define friends?

Yes, it is important to be able to get on with someone for the chat inbetween the fun.

No, it isn't important for us that we all keep in touch afterwards.

yes this is what I meant, we also look for that "friendliness", but it is also interesting that sometimes those friendships have become ongoing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow be nice that's spooky I was thinking exactly the same thing xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its essential to me to like someone if I am going to fuck them.

However I have had situations in clubs where spontenaity takes over and its about physical attraction as there is no time for chatting before hand.... that comes after!

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

"Its essential to me to like someone if I am going to fuck them.

However I have had situations in clubs where spontenaity takes over and its about physical attraction as there is no time for chatting before hand.... that comes after!

*makes mental

note to seek out 1Testarossa at the club so she doesn't realise how inarticulate I am ........ but then my body will have to be transplanted too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we swung as singles it was very important to both of us. For both of us, any initial meets as singles were always social. That's not to say neither of us have never played on a first meet but it was always the exception. I think it was about the 3rd or 4th time we met before we actually had sex.

As a couple, we follow very much the same mindset. To be honest, outside of clubs (where somehow the same rules don't apply) the thought of meeting with another couple just for sex seems quite soulless. I suspect the difference is if you are coming into our home and bedroom or inviting us to yours it seems far more intimate and that is where the necessity to get on comes from.

We have lost interest in couples when they have appeared to assume that playing is an inevitablity before we have met.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on how you define your friends.

My best friend I could trust with my bank account details and pin number. She knows my home address, my work address, details of my health, she knows my kids - she's never seen me having sex though and she never will.

I am closer to some of my swinging friends than others. I have given them a little more info about me, we chat ab out other things than sex. I have not given them my home address, my work address, details of my children.

I have lots of friendly acquaintances but only a handful of close friends.

I would never make friends with another swinging couple and invite them for dinner with families or go on holiday with them or have the husband of the other couple come round and do DIY in my house and vice versa.

Swinging is a hobby to me, I may meet a long lasting friend as I believe like love, you never know when someone meaningful will enter your life, but mainly I like to be friendly, have the odd chat when they want, meet up occassionally and have fun, but I won't be inviting them for christmas

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

again going to have to define friends...

there are people here that I could go to people with if i needed advice, that I could have a brilliant laugh and giggle with...

I have to say that is what i prefer, having some sort of connection with people i play with....

otherwise sometimes it just feels far too "clinical" for want of a better word......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've met people through the swinging scene who have become such firm friends that sex sort of became something we decided we wouldn't do as it crossed the boundaries of what really good friends are, if that makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've met people through the swinging scene who have become such firm friends that sex sort of became something we decided we wouldn't do as it crossed the boundaries of what really good friends are, if that makes sense."

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well i like the people i have sex with to be friends ... maybe not long team friends some are ... and some was friends at the time ... had some friends from the sites over 10 years .

10 years

Incredible!!!"
I know and its lovely i feel right at home with them , lol xx my bi girl-friends some have known me that longer .. xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

that's great Jo. It's good to be friends and to enjoy our bodies too. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so agree with that too !!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"that's great Jo. It's good to be friends and to enjoy our bodies too. xx"
Thats the thing .. You get to know people and what thay like and its just nice being around them having a drink meal out all sorts .

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"how important is it that you can be friends with your shags?

Define friends?

Yes, it is important to be able to get on with someone for the chat inbetween the fun.

No, it isn't important for us that we all keep in touch afterwards.

yes this is what I meant, we also look for that "friendliness", but it is also interesting that sometimes those friendships have become ongoing."

Of course, if people like to have friends to have sex with then obviously thats a good thing for them.

We are different as in we like to keep "friends" seperate to our play....once things get too friendly with any regulars or too much info is offered by them ,I back off.

Now I know what we do isn't classed as real swinging by "real" swingers, and others will say it is clinical because it isn't how they do things....but we don't knock the men over the head with a stick and drag them to our tent...there is some cummunication before deciding on a meet... it might not be lots of socials or ping pong mails for months or even keeping them as "friends" after the meet.

I don't believe there is a wrong or right way to do things, it is whatever suits us and this suits us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how important is it that you can be friends with your shags?

Define friends?

Yes, it is important to be able to get on with someone for the chat inbetween the fun.

No, it isn't important for us that we all keep in touch afterwards.

yes this is what I meant, we also look for that "friendliness", but it is also interesting that sometimes those friendships have become

ongoing.

Of course, if people like to have friends to have sex with then obviously thats a good thing for them.

We are different as in we like to keep "friends" seperate to our play....once things get too friendly with any regulars or too much info is offered by them ,I back off.

I don't believe there is a wrong or right way to do things, it is whatever suits us and this suits us

It's whatever ya want it ta be

What gets me is folk that dont understand that concept xx

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Not important, if it happens cool.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"how important is it that you can be friends with your shags?"

It's not something that we expect but is a lovely bonus if it happens.

We have couples/singles that we are friendly with and see each other occasionally but don't keep in contact regularly.

But would say that we have only ever met 2 couples and 1 single in about 8 years that we would truely call our real friends. Those that know the everyday us as well as our swinging side.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not important, if it happens cool."

Agreed. I have to like them to have sex with them and it's nice if we stay in contact, but not essential

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel it is nice to talk and get to know people before I meet. I wouldn't say friends but more awareness of the other person. The sex is usually a lot better.....however nice to just meet and have a good time especially if the physical attraction is there.

Saying that I have made some great friends on here and we often go out x

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"how important is it that you can be friends with your shags?"

It's a bonus, but not essential.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friendliness, yes.

Friendship, not necessary.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I need some kind of friendship and bond,

Also the more we communicate and get to know each other the better our meets become, as we can please each better.

Although the thrill of a fist meet with someone I have got to know well before meeting is Fab too.

Pip

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

i get accused of wanting dates because i insist on a coffee meet first. its for safety reasons and to establish that theres lust on both sides - sometimes the coffee is barely d*unk before we rush off to find somewhere private!

but i have also made some great, unlooked for, friendships with playmates. and that is the key. when you're not actually looking for something you trip over it! and it is often far more 'right' then when you go searching. this can be friendships or relationships. in the short time i've been here i have heard of people who found something special (soapy and fmuma amongst others) when all they went looking for was some fun, no strings sex.

so i may not go looking for friends, and i may be more than happy with one off plays, but if i find a gem along the way then i'm going to pick it up and keep it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how important is it that you can be friends with your shags?"

Friendly but not nesecerily friends for me as friends i will see reularly and send xmas cards to friends etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how important is it that you can be friends with your shags?"

not important at all to be honest

depeds what you mean by friends tho to be honest

very few people off here are what i class as a friend

even if they are people i get on with swinging friends are not the same as real friends

how many people off here would you trust to look after your kids? how many people off here would nip round for a drink without wanting anything in return? how many people off here would take you shopping if you car was playing up? or go watch a film with you at the pictures? nip round to feed and walk your dog for you if you went away for the weekend? but then how many people you have met off here would you trust with the keys to your house? thats what a friend is, someone whos there to help you without expecting anything in return

not many, i do have some people i know thro swinging that fall into some of the above but not many, and those are all people i dont really play with, they are just friends who i happened to have met thro swinging

all because i met someone, have good sex with them and like them i dont really class them as friends

friendship means much more to me than that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It depends on how you define your friends.

I have lots of friendly acquaintances but only a handful of close friends.

i swear i didnt read that before i posted lol

but your right and you think along the same lines as me

liking someone i have sex with thro swinging does not make them a friend

the word friend has a much deeper meaning to me than that

saying that i do need to like who im shagging, i wont just meet anyone, i like to meet for a drink first, get on with them, have stuff on common, be able to hold a conversation with them, and if i really like someone arrange to meet again, but i do not class that as friendship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't have to be great mates, just have to enjoy the company before and after the shagging

need to the like the person or I just won't find them attractive no matter what they look like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am quite happily married and dont want to get friendly with anyone, am on here just for sex.

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