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Silly question.

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By *ustdoomnow OP   Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

So, d*unk, deep question, lol. Probably only makes sense to me.... But, in my life, I have been asked to change, and I have... They have all cheated, left me.

How many people have changed, been someone they aren't for the one they love? And are you still together?

But, those that ask there partners to change.... Are you still with them, and, the question I think is bugging me, did you think to change for them?? Has anyone changed to be with someone, who wasn't perfect, but now they are...

I know the right answer, you should never be who you aren't, but who has changed, etc.

I might of realised why I'm single, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everybody changes all the time. It's natural. As long as the change is at your pace and it's what you want to do then you won't even know it's happening.

If you're with the right person, it will be what you want to do and you won't even realise.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Nobody has asked me to change and if they did I would know that it wasn't me they wanted but a version of me that wasn't real. I think in our 38 year relationship we have both changed to an extent but as a result of the influence we've had on each other. However fundamentally our personalities remain the same.

I think if you want to make a relationship work you might need to modify certain habits or behaviours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nobody has asked me to change and if they did I would know that it wasn't me they wanted but a version of me that wasn't real. I think in our 38 year relationship we have both changed to an extent but as a result of the influence we've had on each other. However fundamentally our personalities remain the same.

I think if you want to make a relationship work you might need to modify certain habits or behaviours.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So, d*unk, deep question, lol. Probably only makes sense to me.... But, in my life, I have been asked to change, and I have... They have all cheated, left me.

How many people have changed, been someone they aren't for the one they love? And are you still together?

But, those that ask there partners to change.... Are you still with them, and, the question I think is bugging me, did you think to change for them?? Has anyone changed to be with someone, who wasn't perfect, but now they are...

I know the right answer, you should never be who you aren't, but who has changed, etc.

I might of realised why I'm single, lol"

My ex actually asked me to be less likeable. That's actually true. No I didn't change and we are not together x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I changed for my former FWB because I wanted a relationship with him. He didn't like black clothes, so I stopped wearing them. Plus other stuff. I even hovered the fluff off my stairs. It doesn't work coz they normally do it to be controlling or change you into the person they want. XXX

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

I wouldn’t change for anyone

If they don’t like what they get then toug( titty

Why e someone you are not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I change most of my clothing twice a day sometimes more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think anyone should have to change who they fundamentally are, but I do think both people in a relationship have to adapt to each other, I also feel that you change together, such as when children come along, your whole life changes. For a relationship to be successful you have to allow each other to be their own person but to also compromise and 'pull together'.

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

If you are attracted to somebody enough to want to be with them, why the hell would you want or need them to change?

"I really wanted that beautiful blue BMW so I bought it. Then I asked the garage to paint it red."

It's counter-intuitive.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

People change as we grow. In order flow happily together as the years go on I think the key is understanding, acceptance and love. It allowing each other to be totally free to be who they are. Rather than something that is forced into a shape that is unnatural for it. I think it takes lots of communication, maturity, empathy and to just understanding what it is to be human. I think as long as your in a relationship where you can all truly feel free to be your self and communicate totally open and honestly you have a great chance. Who is happy in a relationship where they dont feel free to be who they are?

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