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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Whilst I'm not looking for anyone to say that they regret their children - has anyone ever felt that having another child made things disproportionately more difficult because of age gaps with other children / being an older parent / stretching finances etc?

How many people decided their optimal family size was small and stuck to it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I decided my optimal number of children was 0 and stuck to it, does that count

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I decided my optimal number of children was 0 and stuck to it, does that count "

Sure, i think it takes balls to do that. It certainly goes against the flow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always wanted 4 or 5 then changed my mind when I realised a big country house, range rover and Labrador didn't come automatically.

We stopped at 3, affordability isn't so much a problem but finding holidays and hotels is certainly more challenging. I think 2 children are probably the seen as the optimum number.

Ginger

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I always wanted 4 or 5 then changed my mind when I realised a big country house, range rover and Labrador didn't come automatically.

We stopped at 3, affordability isn't so much a problem but finding holidays and hotels is certainly more challenging. I think 2 children are probably the seen as the optimum number.

Ginger "

Yeah that's the kind of thing that makes me think - holidays and weekend activities. I think children are great so it's tempting to have another. Then i try to think rationally about keeping different age kids entertained etc.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

My optimal was two,however I didn't get a huge choice as I couldn't have children. Why are things so simple for some people,to have had the chance of a choice would have been a dream.

Having said that I did get a choice,only a group of other adults had the power to say if my choice was acceptable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never wanted any kids

Never wanted to get married either, I was a selfish so and so when i was younger, far too busy enjoying myself...

However, i succumbed to parenthood at 39 and am rather glad i did... i only have the one

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I never wanted any kids

Never wanted to get married either, I was a selfish so and so when i was younger, far too busy enjoying myself...

However, i succumbed to parenthood at 39 and am rather glad i did... i only have the one"

Was it hard to get pregnant at 39? How long did you have to try for?

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales


"I decided my optimal number of children was 0 and stuck to it, does that count "

I wanted children for a long while then made this decision also.

I love children just other people's that can go home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I never wanted any kids

Never wanted to get married either, I was a selfish so and so when i was younger, far too busy enjoying myself...

However, i succumbed to parenthood at 39 and am rather glad i did... i only have the one

Was it hard to get pregnant at 39? How long did you have to try for?"

I only ever got pregnant twice, the first time resulted in a miscarriage and 3 months later i fell pregnant with my son.. he was born 1 year after the miscarriage.. i only got married at 36 and came off the pill about a year after so we didn't try for too long

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By *urity555Man
over a year ago

south west

I had my two kids at quite a young age.

When I met Mr P 6 years ago we discussed having kids together.

However together we made the decision that due to having no family nearby, finances, career choices , that in fact having two kids was enough. He’s a great step dad and I have never regretted our decision.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I never wanted any kids

Never wanted to get married either, I was a selfish so and so when i was younger, far too busy enjoying myself...

However, i succumbed to parenthood at 39 and am rather glad i did... i only have the one

Was it hard to get pregnant at 39? How long did you have to try for?

I only ever got pregnant twice, the first time resulted in a miscarriage and 3 months later i fell pregnant with my son.. he was born 1 year after the miscarriage.. i only got married at 36 and came off the pill about a year after so we didn't try for too long"

Unfortunately, miscarriage is way more common than most people realise. Anything from 20-50% of pregnancies end in miscarriage since a lot of them happen before people even realise they are pregnant. It's interesting that you didn't have any trouble at 39, good stuff!

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

The choice was taken away from me as my ex husband had a vasectomy without discussing it with me shortly after my second child was born.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I decided my optimal number of children was 0 and stuck to it, does that count

I wanted children for a long while then made this decision also.

I love children just other people's that can go home "

This for me too.

I never wanted a family of my own or marriage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I never wanted any kids

Never wanted to get married either, I was a selfish so and so when i was younger, far too busy enjoying myself...

However, i succumbed to parenthood at 39 and am rather glad i did... i only have the one

Was it hard to get pregnant at 39? How long did you have to try for?

I only ever got pregnant twice, the first time resulted in a miscarriage and 3 months later i fell pregnant with my son.. he was born 1 year after the miscarriage.. i only got married at 36 and came off the pill about a year after so we didn't try for too long

Unfortunately, miscarriage is way more common than most people realise. Anything from 20-50% of pregnancies end in miscarriage since a lot of them happen before people even realise they are pregnant. It's interesting that you didn't have any trouble at 39, good stuff! "

Turns out i only had a very small window of opportunity as when i turned 40 the perimenopause started so i always say it was meant to happen when it did

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I had my two kids at quite a young age.

When I met Mr P 6 years ago we discussed having kids together.

However together we made the decision that due to having no family nearby, finances, career choices , that in fact having two kids was enough. He’s a great step dad and I have never regretted our decision. "

Have you ever known anyone that had one too many kids and did regret it?

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

I always said I didn’t want kids until I was at least 30. I reached 30 and had an overwhelming urge to have a child. I had one then wanted another. I wanted a 3 year gap so I could spend time with each of them alone. It worked rather well I would do it that way again. There is no way I would have another now, I love my kids but want more me time in the near future

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By *hedevilwearspradaWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere nearby

I have 1. Took me a long time to get pregnant, and was in the initial stages of assisted conception when it happened. I also experienced a loss many years ago.

I had a pretty crap pregnancy with numerous hospital admissions, and an awful labour, with my wee one needing to be rescuitated and support to breathe initially after an emergency section.

Another pregnancy would be risky and it’s not a risk I’m willing to take. I do feel sad sometimes that she’s an only child and worry that she will be lonely, or resent the fact that she doesn’t have siblings. She loves babies and often asks why she doesn’t have brothers or sisters. That hurts my heart a little sometimes.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

[Removed by poster at 09/06/18 20:18:21]

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I always said I didn’t want kids until I was at least 30. I reached 30 and had an overwhelming urge to have a child. I had one then wanted another. I wanted a 3 year gap so I could spend time with each of them alone. It worked rather well I would do it that way again. There is no way I would have another now, I love my kids but want more me time in the near future "

3 years is a big gap to bridge for joint activities? I can't think of too much that an 8 year old and a 5 year old would both enjoy?

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I have 1. Took me a long time to get pregnant, and was in the initial stages of assisted conception when it happened. I also experienced a loss many years ago.

I had a pretty crap pregnancy with numerous hospital admissions, and an awful labour, with my wee one needing to be rescuitated and support to breathe initially after an emergency section.

Another pregnancy would be risky and it’s not a risk I’m willing to take. I do feel sad sometimes that she’s an only child and worry that she will be lonely, or resent the fact that she doesn’t have siblings. She loves babies and often asks why she doesn’t have brothers or sisters. That hurts my heart a little sometimes. "

I seriously doubt that she will resent it long-term. All the only children i know, prefer it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I decided my optimal number of children was 0 and stuck to it, does that count "

Me too!

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

We wanted two and have two. The first was planned the second was not. There is just 13 months between them, it was a struggle at first especially as we have moved around a fair bit when they were young and so had no family support but it did mean they have a close bond and looked after one another at school and in the long term the difficult bit of parent was over quickly.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"We wanted two and have two. The first was planned the second was not. There is just 13 months between them, it was a struggle at first especially as we have moved around a fair bit when they were young and so had no family support but it did mean they have a close bond and looked after one another at school and in the long term the difficult bit of parent was over quickly."

I'd imagined it sucked until they went to school and then became awesome!

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

Unfortunately, miscarriage is way more common than most people realise. Anything from 20-50% of pregnancies end in miscarriage since a lot of them happen before people even realise they are pregnant. It's interesting that you didn't have any trouble at 39, good stuff!

Was it hard to get pregnant at 39? How long did you have to try for?

We had our second when I was 39. I also had a very bad miscarriage (not that there’s a good one), when I was 38. It near enough put hubby off trying for our second as he didn’t want to see me go through that again. Luckily everything turned out ok. The age gap between the kids is hard though, they either tolerate each other or hate each other at the moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not at all maternal. My mum said only last week that she was surprised I’d had kids.

I had my first at 35 and my second at 38. Both pregnancies unplanned. I had split with their father two weeks before I discovered I was pregnant with second child.

Getting pregnant wasn’t an issue, although I think my ex was quite fertile as i’d got pregnant six months into the relationship but that resulted in miscarriage. There were difficulties through my last pregnancy and I was referred to foetal medicine and was under their care for 7 months of the pregnancy. Nobody said if that was an issue due to my age or just one of those things.

My youngest child has suspected ASD symptoms and he has a diagnosed speech and language disorder. All being looked into by the Hospital. He is getting appropriate support at School. Nobody has mentioned whether the pregnancy issues are why he has ASD. It’s still a learning process for us at the moment.

I do not regret my children, they are the best thing to happen to me, there are challenges, and I worry about what will happen to my youngest long term if I die, but I would not be without them.

I also worry that my eldest is not getting as much attention because of my youngest’s issues, and some days it’s an emotional struggle. I know that if I were younger i’d have had more patience and have been less moody (currently peri menopausal) and feel less overwhelmed, but on the whole the good days outweigh any bad.

They have a very close bond which is lovely to see.

I found it hard adjusting my income to having a child, but by the second came along I was adept at managing my finances. You do just find a way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

15 years between oldest and youngest is that a big enough gap

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I am not at all maternal. My mum said only last week that she was surprised I’d had kids.

I had my first at 35 and my second at 38. Both pregnancies unplanned. I had split with their father two weeks before I discovered I was pregnant with second child.

Getting pregnant wasn’t an issue, although I think my ex was quite fertile as i’d got pregnant six months into the relationship but that resulted in miscarriage. There were difficulties through my last pregnancy and I was referred to foetal medicine and was under their care for 7 months of the pregnancy. Nobody said if that was an issue due to my age or just one of those things.

My youngest child has suspected ASD symptoms and he has a diagnosed speech and language disorder. All being looked into by the Hospital. He is getting appropriate support at School. Nobody has mentioned whether the pregnancy issues are why he has ASD. It’s still a learning process for us at the moment.

I do not regret my children, they are the best thing to happen to me, there are challenges, and I worry about what will happen to my youngest long term if I die, but I would not be without them.

I also worry that my eldest is not getting as much attention because of my youngest’s issues, and some days it’s an emotional struggle. I know that if I were younger i’d have had more patience and have been less moody (currently peri menopausal) and feel less overwhelmed, but on the whole the good days outweigh any bad.

They have a very close bond which is lovely to see.

I found it hard adjusting my income to having a child, but by the second came along I was adept at managing my finances. You do just find a way.

"

Interesting, thanks for sharing that

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"15 years between oldest and youngest is that a big enough gap

"

What the flip!? Same mum!?

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"I always said I didn’t want kids until I was at least 30. I reached 30 and had an overwhelming urge to have a child. I had one then wanted another. I wanted a 3 year gap so I could spend time with each of them alone. It worked rather well I would do it that way again. There is no way I would have another now, I love my kids but want more me time in the near future

3 years is a big gap to bridge for joint activities? I can't think of too much that an 8 year old and a 5 year old would both enjoy? "

Joint activities? A rare occurrence when you have one of each . They do so many activities weekends are a nightmare, cricket, football, ballet, cheerleading, riding, golf, drama, parties, play dates, netball etc etc. It’s mainly family events, things at home and holidays when they’re together. It’s actually as they get older than the 8/5 stage where it becomes tricky but you can find common ground

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I always wanted 2 kids, one of each. I had 2 boys so I had to have another as it was important for me to have a daughter. Thankfully she came along quite soon but I would of tried again had I of had another boy!

I wouldn't change a thing but it was hard work having 3 kids so close in age and I do feel bad sometimes that I haven't spent masses of quality time 1-1 with any of them.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I always said I didn’t want kids until I was at least 30. I reached 30 and had an overwhelming urge to have a child. I had one then wanted another. I wanted a 3 year gap so I could spend time with each of them alone. It worked rather well I would do it that way again. There is no way I would have another now, I love my kids but want more me time in the near future

3 years is a big gap to bridge for joint activities? I can't think of too much that an 8 year old and a 5 year old would both enjoy?

Joint activities? A rare occurrence when you have one of each . They do so many activities weekends are a nightmare, cricket, football, ballet, cheerleading, riding, golf, drama, parties, play dates, netball etc etc. It’s mainly family events, things at home and holidays when they’re together. It’s actually as they get older than the 8/5 stage where it becomes tricky but you can find common ground "

I remember taking a 4 year old nephew to a kids theme park. Then realising he couldn't go on 70% of the rides because he was like 15cm too short. That was quite a shock and stuck in my mind.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I always wanted 2 kids, one of each. I had 2 boys so I had to have another as it was important for me to have a daughter. Thankfully she came along quite soon but I would of tried again had I of had another boy!

I wouldn't change a thing but it was hard work having 3 kids so close in age and I do feel bad sometimes that I haven't spent masses of quality time 1-1 with any of them. "

Interesting, so why was having a girl so important to you?

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"I always said I didn’t want kids until I was at least 30. I reached 30 and had an overwhelming urge to have a child. I had one then wanted another. I wanted a 3 year gap so I could spend time with each of them alone. It worked rather well I would do it that way again. There is no way I would have another now, I love my kids but want more me time in the near future

3 years is a big gap to bridge for joint activities? I can't think of too much that an 8 year old and a 5 year old would both enjoy?

Joint activities? A rare occurrence when you have one of each . They do so many activities weekends are a nightmare, cricket, football, ballet, cheerleading, riding, golf, drama, parties, play dates, netball etc etc. It’s mainly family events, things at home and holidays when they’re together. It’s actually as they get older than the 8/5 stage where it becomes tricky but you can find common ground

I remember taking a 4 year old nephew to a kids theme park. Then realising he couldn't go on 70% of the rides because he was like 15cm too short. That was quite a shock and stuck in my mind. "

You have to go to the right theme park for the age but luckily the eldest was soft so rides for the youngest worked for both. Now they both like bigger rides, but the eldest does a risk assessment before either of them get on a ride

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would love to have another as we love babies.

However, I'm self employed and childcare is already hard for us because I work crazy hours and Adam has a difficult shift pattern too.

It's also not great for my career.

Our youngest child is 8 this year so the age gap would be large and 3 children would be difficult when it comes to holidays etc.

We decided that as much as we love kids, Two is perfect for us. We will just enjoy being auntie and uncle to babies ha ha.

Eve. x

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"We would love to have another as we love babies.

However, I'm self employed and childcare is already hard for us because I work crazy hours and Adam has a difficult shift pattern too.

It's also not great for my career.

Our youngest child is 8 this year so the age gap would be large and 3 children would be difficult when it comes to holidays etc.

We decided that as much as we love kids, Two is perfect for us. We will just enjoy being auntie and uncle to babies ha ha.

Eve. x"

Rationally i know the right number for us. Irrationally i want more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've none and don't want any for another 5 yrs but I've a fantasy of 3-5 kids. I'd like 3 kids minimum all close in age haha

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Food for thought, it is recommended a minimum of 2 years between babies by medical professionals

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Food for thought, it is recommended a minimum of 2 years between babies by medical professionals "

Well that's physically best for the body but doesn't mean that's the easiest to raise afterwards!

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"Food for thought, it is recommended a minimum of 2 years between babies by medical professionals

Well that's physically best for the body but doesn't mean that's the easiest to raise afterwards!"

What age difference do you think is easiest?

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

I wanted two children and I had them. I didn’t work after having them until each of them went to Nursery because I didn’t want to miss a minute with them..... and I still feel that way now, as old as they are.

Two is affordable and manageable and I love my little lot, it feels pretty perfect

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Food for thought, it is recommended a minimum of 2 years between babies by medical professionals

Well that's physically best for the body but doesn't mean that's the easiest to raise afterwards!

What age difference do you think is easiest? "

In all honesty i want to adopt a second and have literally zero age gap. I know it would be harder until 4 years, but after that i think it would be much easier.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"I always wanted 2 kids, one of each. I had 2 boys so I had to have another as it was important for me to have a daughter. Thankfully she came along quite soon but I would of tried again had I of had another boy!

I wouldn't change a thing but it was hard work having 3 kids so close in age and I do feel bad sometimes that I haven't spent masses of quality time 1-1 with any of them.

Interesting, so why was having a girl so important to you? "

I lost my mum when I was young so missed out on the mother/daughter bond.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'm 44 and decided at quite a young age that I never wanted kids, I did get some incredulous looks from work colleagues when I said this out loud.

I just never understand why the world seems to think that women are natural carers! It is such a bullshit concept! And yet another example of labelling and putting people in a box!

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"Food for thought, it is recommended a minimum of 2 years between babies by medical professionals

Well that's physically best for the body but doesn't mean that's the easiest to raise afterwards!

What age difference do you think is easiest?

In all honesty i want to adopt a second and have literally zero age gap. I know it would be harder until 4 years, but after that i think it would be much easier. "

At the end of the day it’s about what you as a person feel is right for you. There are pros and cons at both ends of the spectrum when it comes to age difference. Maybe ask the forum about age differences between them and siblings. The impact it had on them might give you the kind of info you’re looking for

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"We wanted two and have two. The first was planned the second was not. There is just 13 months between them, it was a struggle at first especially as we have moved around a fair bit when they were young and so had no family support but it did mean they have a close bond and looked after one another at school and in the long term the difficult bit of parent was over quickly.

I'd imagined it sucked until they went to school and then became awesome!"

No think it only became really easy when they reached their late teens/early 20s. One left home and the other finally sorted her life out and got a direction

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"I decided my optimal number of children was 0 and stuck to it, does that count

Sure, i think it takes balls to do that. It certainly goes against the flow. "

I'm the same, I decided my optimal number was 0 and stuck to it.

I don't think I had "balls" to do it though. It was my choice.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Food for thought, it is recommended a minimum of 2 years between babies by medical professionals

Well that's physically best for the body but doesn't mean that's the easiest to raise afterwards!

What age difference do you think is easiest?

In all honesty i want to adopt a second and have literally zero age gap. I know it would be harder until 4 years, but after that i think it would be much easier.

At the end of the day it’s about what you as a person feel is right for you. There are pros and cons at both ends of the spectrum when it comes to age difference. Maybe ask the forum about age differences between them and siblings. The impact it had on them might give you the kind of info you’re looking for "

Yeah that would be a good thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A generation gap between first and last. I would have at least 7 if all had been viable. Was maternal from a very young age, wanting to give love I had never received. I thought approaching menopause would have devastated me - but no, it's my time now

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I decided my optimal number of children was 0 and stuck to it, does that count

Sure, i think it takes balls to do that. It certainly goes against the flow.

I'm the same, I decided my optimal number was 0 and stuck to it.

I don't think I had "balls" to do it though. It was my choice."

As _oxy_minx said, women who don't have children get an odd reaction from some people (i don't know why)

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"We would love to have another as we love babies.

However, I'm self employed and childcare is already hard for us because I work crazy hours and Adam has a difficult shift pattern too.

It's also not great for my career.

Our youngest child is 8 this year so the age gap would be large and 3 children would be difficult when it comes to holidays etc.

We decided that as much as we love kids, Two is perfect for us. We will just enjoy being auntie and uncle to babies ha ha.

Eve. x"

I'm 8 years younger than my youngest brother and 10 years younger than my oldest brother.

I think it was difficult with us growing up because of the age gap. They were good because they didn't spoil Santa, Tooth Fairy etc for me and I got to watch pre-approved older films

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire


"I decided my optimal number of children was 0 and stuck to it, does that count

Sure, i think it takes balls to do that. It certainly goes against the flow.

I'm the same, I decided my optimal number was 0 and stuck to it.

I don't think I had "balls" to do it though. It was my choice.

As _oxy_minx said, women who don't have children get an odd reaction from some people (i don't know why)"

I've had the same reaction and the "you'll change your mind when you get older" conversations. I just don't think I've done anything special or "ballsy" by not having kids.

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By *y Favorite Pornstar OP   Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I decided my optimal number of children was 0 and stuck to it, does that count

Sure, i think it takes balls to do that. It certainly goes against the flow.

I'm the same, I decided my optimal number was 0 and stuck to it.

I don't think I had "balls" to do it though. It was my choice.

As _oxy_minx said, women who don't have children get an odd reaction from some people (i don't know why)

I've had the same reaction and the "you'll change your mind when you get older" conversations. I just don't think I've done anything special or "ballsy" by not having kids."

I think a significant minority of people get married and have children because they feel they should, but don't really want to.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"I decided my optimal number of children was 0 and stuck to it, does that count

Sure, i think it takes balls to do that. It certainly goes against the flow.

I'm the same, I decided my optimal number was 0 and stuck to it.

I don't think I had "balls" to do it though. It was my choice.

As _oxy_minx said, women who don't have children get an odd reaction from some people (i don't know why)

I've had the same reaction and the "you'll change your mind when you get older" conversations. I just don't think I've done anything special or "ballsy" by not having kids.

I think a significant minority of people get married and have children because they feel they should, but don't really want to. "

I can say that with my last relationship, I was 26 when it started and I pointed out straight away that I didn't want kids, so if he did he needed to look else where, that is where everyone should start in any relationship if you have strong views/feelings ne way or the other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Whilst I'm not looking for anyone to say that they regret their children - has anyone ever felt that having another child made things disproportionately more difficult because of age gaps with other children / being an older parent / stretching finances etc? Always wanted two and straight after the second one arrived booked in to the Vasectomy clinic job done no more kids lol

How many people decided their optimal family size was small and stuck to it? "

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

I have one of each but there's a massive age gap between them which I'd never have chosen, for my sake as much as theirs. By the time my youngest becones an adult I'll have had children dependent on me for more than thirty years! However, various circumstances meant I was never able to plan my kids in the way I'd have ideally wanted to. I dearly wanted another but have also had four very upsetting miscarriages. I envy people for whom life falls into place and whose children arrive to order at the right time for them - though of course I also appreciate I'm lucky to have kids at all compared to those who can't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only the one here, initially due to medical complications, but by the time we could have a second child, we’d got our life back, time had moved on and there was the potential for further complications. So despite the protestations of our son we decided to keep it as just the one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/06/18 22:00:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm yet to even consider kids, yet I know of women my age who have had five kids already and one had her tubes tied when she had her fifth. The idea of having so many kids in your twenties seems completely alien to me. I would like a child but not for a while.

My mum always said that if she didn't have a kid by 30 then she wouldn't have any at all. I was born three weeks before her birthday and I remain an only child.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had two, fairly close together at 20 mths apart. I didnt like the idea of a large gap between children and starting every phase again. I would have liked more I think but I was a late starter,and if Id had a third I would have wanted a fourth too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want children definitely .. don't want to leave it too late though. 2 seems to be just right!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in a position where I get to experience all the best parts of having children but with none of the responsibility. I take a very active role in my Niece and Nephews lives and I'm completely happy to have none of my own! And I definitely intend to keep it that way!

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I was 3 months pregnant on our 1st anniversary much sooner than expected.we have 2 children and the 3rd was a miscarriage probably a good thing really.

No regrets.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Two is our optimum and two are what we have. I became pregnant with a third child at 46 which would have meant a twelve year gap. It would have been disastrous financially and emotionally.

I come from a family of four with a large gap between me the oldest and the youngest, my parents also fostered. When there are lots of children the oldest can be cast in the role of parents and possibly be left to fend for themselves because the younger ones need attention. There are advantages too you're never lonely and tend to develop a useful resilience.

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By *entish79Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

No kids, never really seemed the right time. I am an only child and it’s never really bothered me. I never really had a great relationship with my parents, and a pretty awful one with my mum. May or may not have affected decisions about kids when I was a bit younger. I may live to regret it later though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"15 years between oldest and youngest is that a big enough gap

What the flip!? Same mum!?"

Yep

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By *yn drwgMan
over a year ago

Camarthen

Never planned to have any kids but had two within 13 months of each other! I was happy with 2 but my ex wanted more. She has had another child with 8 yr gap.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

[Removed by poster at 10/06/18 00:07:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always wanted 3, I have 1 but hey shit happens. Mines pretty self sufficient now too

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Yes... we are now 5... donuts come in packs of 4!!!!! Bastard wine!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, ads and I have discussed having kids together (we have 5 between us and my eldest out the lot is 18 next jan) and even though it’s something we want massively, we’ve decided against it and think about the other children.

My youngest at almost 13 is autistic and sometimes he finds it hard to share me as it is, I’m approaching 40 next year and one think I vowed when I was younger and that was to have all my kids by the time I was 26 and I made it with 2 weeks to spare and ads had slightly younger kids than mine.

It would put us in a financial pickle, i’d be nearly 60 by the time the child reaches adulthood and the kids. It’s been a hard choice but it’s one we must make.

Geeky x

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By *FFB69Woman
over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

Never planned on having children. Ever. Ever ever.

Then an “oops” at 16 (yes I know ) changed that. But I wouldn’t have more. I adore my kid. We’ve grown up together. We’re more like siblings than child and parent. Which is good in some ways and bad in others.

If I ever meet someone who wants kids... it’s a bridge I’ll have to cross but honestly unless they want to be a SAHP themselves or were rich enough to have a Nanny, it’s a no from me

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By *FFB69Woman
over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

[Removed by poster at 10/06/18 01:14:43]

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By *aximus74Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

I only ever wanted 2,i got 4 and would have had 7...due to pcos my last I had when I was 41 and was a massive shock as my youngest at the time was 14...i didn't want anymore.... Wouldn't give her up for the world now.. But my motto is "if its meant to happen it will"... Although I would never have chosen to have another child at 41...my eldest is 28 this year and youngest is 2...amd its harder work when older, I have 0 patience at times.. Haha.. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i had only one, a daughter, at 35 years old. it was after my sister just lost a son at birth, so it wasn't a happy pregnancy for me. i think that experience made he settle on just one kid. sometimes i regret not having another ...

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By *urity555Man
over a year ago

south west


"15 years between oldest and youngest is that a big enough gap

"

I’m the eldest of 4, I’m 36 & have siblings that are 32, 22 & 19

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a big gap

Eldest is 24, youngest 13 and middle one 15.

Was bloody hard work but now they’re self sufficient other than preventing blood shed....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex husband only ever wanted one, I had twins just to annoy him I would have liked another one, mainly to have just to experience what it was like to have one baby! But it never happened but now the boys are 8, I’m quite glad I didn’t.

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

My ideal would have been 2 but I didn’t get it. Recurrent miscarriages meant that I was unable to have any children. Even now, at 43 there is a tiny minuscule glimmer of hope that we may have one but it’s wuickly fading as time passes.

Hubby never really had a desperate desire to procreate and was always if it happens it happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have just the one.

For a while I wanted more but realised that I was actually content with how things are.

Plus I am too old now, not to mention single!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need to meet someone to have them with first but ideally 2 for me.

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