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THE go to place for profile advice...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Lads, lads, lads...

I've seen so many threads asking for profile advice all saying the same thing so thought we could have a place where the answers can go. Rather than people typing them out each time

1) 20 cock photos is too many.

2) It's unlikely that you are actually looking for a 99 year old so change that. But if you are, fair play (also, gross).

3) Unless you are a wordsmith on par with Shakespeare a five word description probably isn't going to cut it.

Any more generic common sense pieces of advice I've missed?

(Bracing myself for some abuse here as my profile leaves a lot to be desired but honestly this is meant to be taken lightheartedly).

Happy fabbing as ever!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Get rid of the Sydney Uni warning

Don't lie.... you'll get found out, all it does is insult people's intelligence and that's not a good look

Be yourself.... if you're a cunt, you're a cunt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agrees! I lik personality in a profile!

Feel free to give your opinion on mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/06/18 21:28:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

4. Putting "No uglies" is a great way to thin the onrushing herd.

And shows you have a great personality.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

You need dozens of pics of your cock in various women's gobs, foofs and chocolate starfish.... we love seeing those... pure catnip... makes you irresistible

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

Can’t accomdate = cheating lying bastard

In some peoples opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mention you’re a ‘heavy cummer’. Women love to know that you blow massive loads, it’s usuallly a deal breaker if you don’t.

Also say you’re a ‘repeat cummer’ this way you put yourself under pressure to perform in the sack, thus improving your chances of not maintaining an erection due to the high standards you lied about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You need dozens of pics of your cock in various women's gobs, foofs and chocolate starfish.... we love seeing those... pure catnip... makes you irresistible "

LOL not heard the term "chocolate Starfish" in about 15 years.

Good times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can’t accomdate = cheating lying bastard

In some peoples opinion "

A tad general but made me laugh lol

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville


"You need dozens of pics of your cock in various women's gobs, foofs and chocolate starfish.... we love seeing those... pure catnip... makes you irresistible "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also say you have a massive girthy penis, when clearly it is average at best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go the extra mile and put in the effort by getting naked but leaving your white sports socks on. Don’t use the camera timer on your phone, just stand in front of the mirror. Also ensure the background is a tip, similar to that hot woman’s flat on Friends who Ross was trying to bang.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*sits in the corner making notes*

Do go on...

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

.

If you're taking a selfie in the mirror and saying you're single, Remove your wedding picture, Gf/wife's make up, clothes etc.

Making a fake profile,

Try and find loads of cock pictures belonging to the same Man, Even the non cock connoisseurs among us can spot two different cocks on the same profile

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"*sits in the corner making notes*

Do go on..."

Let's all learn together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Making a fake profile,

Try and find loads of cock pictures belonging to the same Man, Even the non cock connoisseurs among us can spot two different cocks on the same profile"

Was begining to think other men could change the ethnicity of their penis.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

If we're being sarcaaaastic,

don't overlook the flaccid wang over a toilet bowl, complete with a floater or skidders

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

Sky remote anybody

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

.


"If we're being sarcaaaastic,

don't overlook the flaccid wang over a toilet bowl, complete with a floater or skidders "

Thankfully that's one I have yet to see

For a good background pic, Why not scatter some used clothes all over the floor just in case people looking think you only own the clothes you have on,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't forget the warning to Sydney, you're fucked without that

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville


"If we're being sarcaaaastic,

don't overlook the flaccid wang over a toilet bowl, complete with a floater or skidders

Thankfully that's one I have yet to see

For a good background pic, Why not scatter some used clothes all over the floor just in case people looking think you only own the clothes you have on,

"

Complete the look with empty beer cans and a full ashtray.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Also claim you have no idea why you don't get any replies

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville


"Also claim you have no idea why you don't get any replies "

Ah yes. You gotta have a black head profile pic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When messaging women or couples make sure you haven’t read there profile and ask them what they’re into.

Ask to meet straight away even though they’re in Glasgow and you’re in Plymouth. If you’re messaging a couple, always presume you’re speaking to the woman. Ask for kik straight away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Likes licking pussy for hours....please! I’ll get my iPad out and play words with friends while you’re down there love!

Geeky x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When messaging women or couples make sure you haven’t read there profile and ask them what they’re into.

Ask to meet straight away even though they’re in Glasgow and you’re in Plymouth. If you’re messaging a couple, always presume you’re speaking to the woman. Ask for kik straight away. "

And bemoan and say it's rude when they don't reply.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

OP is that your bra on the floor in your pic ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Be yourself.... if you're a cunt, you're a cunt."

Love it

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

.


"When messaging women or couples make sure you haven’t read there profile and ask them what they’re into.

Ask to meet straight away even though they’re in Glasgow and you’re in Plymouth. If you’re messaging a couple, always presume you’re speaking to the woman. Ask for kik straight away. "

Don't forget, If they ignore your message they are just playing hard to get,

Keep sending messages, One a hour for a couple of days will have her hotter and wetter then a rainforest in the rainy season

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lads, lads, lads...

I've seen so many threads asking for profile advice all saying the same thing so thought we could have a place where the answers can go. Rather than people typing them out each time

1) 20 cock photos is too many.

2) It's unlikely that you are actually looking for a 99 year old so change that. But if you are, fair play (also, gross).

3) Unless you are a wordsmith on par with Shakespeare a five word description probably isn't going to cut it.

Any more generic common sense pieces of advice I've missed?

(Bracing myself for some abuse here as my profile leaves a lot to be desired but honestly this is meant to be taken lightheartedly).

Happy fabbing as ever! "

Will change my age range right away good sir.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OP is that your bra on the floor in your pic ?"

Haha no. Will be my ex-wife's. Being honest the photo is about a year old and was taken before we split.

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