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Following on from the dating threads

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How do people actually date and build relationships these days?

I've been single for years. Dates I've had have been pretty uninspiring. Yet it seems to come so easily to other people!

I really would love to find happy ever after but find I hang around here because I'm actually terrified of it.

I probably have more baggage than Heathrow airport and I'm probably not proper girlfriend material.

However what do people actually want? What makes someone relationship material over just instant gratification?

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By *heangelWoman
over a year ago

wonderland

Making an effort to actually meet someone would be a start ... cuz I really can’t be bothered lol !

and not tarring all men with the same brush perhaps would help ...

Easier said than done tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not all men are b.....ds but unfortunately you may come across one and come out with a wrong opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I actually know not all men are. Just like not all women are psychotic.

Once men realise women are to be loved not understood we get even better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do people actually date and build relationships these days?

I've been single for years. Dates I've had have been pretty uninspiring. Yet it seems to come so easily to other people!

I really would love to find happy ever after but find I hang around here because I'm actually terrified of it.

I probably have more baggage than Heathrow airport and I'm probably not proper girlfriend material.

However what do people actually want? What makes someone relationship material over just instant gratification?

"
or the one were your friends for ages then get into relationship Ive never seen that happen but apparently it does lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do people actually date and build relationships these days?

I've been single for years. Dates I've had have been pretty uninspiring. Yet it seems to come so easily to other people!

I really would love to find happy ever after but find I hang around here because I'm actually terrified of it.

I probably have more baggage than Heathrow airport and I'm probably not proper girlfriend material.

However what do people actually want? What makes someone relationship material over just instant gratification?

"

I know what you’re saying - the other thread made me realise I haven’t actually had a real date in almost 18 years not sure I know what to do now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv never dated in my life wouldnt know where to start

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How do people actually date and build relationships these days?

I've been single for years. Dates I've had have been pretty uninspiring. Yet it seems to come so easily to other people!

I really would love to find happy ever after but find I hang around here because I'm actually terrified of it.

I probably have more baggage than Heathrow airport and I'm probably not proper girlfriend material.

However what do people actually want? What makes someone relationship material over just instant gratification?

I know what you’re saying - the other thread made me realise I haven’t actually had a real date in almost 18 years not sure I know what to do now "

Yup it's all a bit weird. It's not like all the film's we are spoon fed either. (And frankly I'd be bored if it was)

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By *urve BallWoman
over a year ago

North London


"How do people actually date and build relationships these days?

I've been single for years. Dates I've had have been pretty uninspiring. Yet it seems to come so easily to other people!

I really would love to find happy ever after but find I hang around here because I'm actually terrified of it.

I probably have more baggage than Heathrow airport and I'm probably not proper girlfriend material.

However what do people actually want? What makes someone relationship material over just instant gratification?

"

I feel your pain. Sometimes I think that I live in a parallel universe and that in my actual life there's love a plenty...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One true fact if every man understood women what they real want from a man i think every one would be happy in life but i could be talk rubbish due to lacking the skill to talk to women HAHA

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t know really.. my last relationship was over 20 years.. new to all this... I have baggage too... we all do.. male and female... I was hoping to just maybe find someone who I clicked with.. got on with and had that spark and connection and just see what happens!!

So first step I guess is meeting people... talking to them just the basics and then if you like them.. maybe see them again.. and when some of the baggage tries to over take things try and recognise what’s happening and take a step back... just take your time and do what feels right for you!!

Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh god when ads and I got together it was a struggle for the first couple of months. My ex husband and I had a very strange and he was very controlling of me even though we had split up and I found myself lying to him when meeting Ads.

Ads also lived in Essex and me in Kent (more nearer to Surrey), so that was another struggle.

But we knew we had something special and we made it work, it wasn’t easy the distance and the train became my new best friend and then when I got a car, the m25 but I’m glad we did and then 8 months later I moved in with him.

I think when you meet ‘the one’ it just works.

Geeky x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be really good at dating. Then about 3 years ago felt ready to date after a relationship break down and I was terrible at it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its all about talking, no pressure. Make each other smile/ laugh. Don't think about the sex. Can you connect on a "friend" level.

I met a woman who I liked and as the conversation flowed and time flew I liked her even more. Sex didn't enter my head as I just enjoyed her company and conversing with her. In fact sex would have spoilt it for me as I know I'd have wanted to move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t know really.. my last relationship was over 20 years.. new to all this... I have baggage too... we all do.. male and female... I was hoping to just maybe find someone who I clicked with.. got on with and had that spark and connection and just see what happens!!

So first step I guess is meeting people... talking to them just the basics and then if you like them.. maybe see them again.. and when some of the baggage tries to over take things try and recognise what’s happening and take a step back... just take your time and do what feels right for you!!

Xx"

I get that I was in a 16 year relationship and it’s rare I click with someone and when I do they are bloody miles away and we end up just being good mates - on the plus side I do have a lot of new friends now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh god when ads and I got together it was a struggle for the first couple of months. My ex husband and I had a very strange and he was very controlling of me even though we had split up and I found myself lying to him when meeting Ads.

Ads also lived in Essex and me in Kent (more nearer to Surrey), so that was another struggle.

But we knew we had something special and we made it work, it wasn’t easy the distance and the train became my new best friend and then when I got a car, the m25 but I’m glad we did and then 8 months later I moved in with him.

I think when you meet ‘the one’ it just works.

Geeky x"

And now we are all jealous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think as the years go on, the ''rules'' of dating change. I imagine that twenty years ago things were pretty simple, if you wanted to date you joined an agency rather than a site and they did all the heavy lifting for you.

These days dating seems to be more of a game with the objective being getting more dates than your friends. Social media plays a big part on dating sites. A lot of profiles I see from women of all ages (men probably do the same) have their snapchat, instagram and facebook profiles on them. I think the only reason people do that is to ''get more'' than their friends.

I once saw a documentary that said Twitter is the latest form of video game. It's about getting more followers than the next person, a new version of the high score. Dating nowadays is very similar.

You still go to a pub or a club to pull, but dating sites make things a lot more simple I guess.

My friend told me that if he and his girlfriend of eight years broke up, he'd have no idea how to date. I can't say I disagree. I'm looking to date, but I don't even know what I'm doing for the most part, I just wing it and hope for the best.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

I gave up about 10 years ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum and dad wear married for 51 years since they were kids sadly they both have pass away one 5 years ago and other near two months ago but the were a great together even raising four kids in that day and age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d like to be wooed and courted. Old fashioned romance.

To be made to feel special, loved, listened to, and more importantly, that they do actually have eyes just for me and they’re not giving me a shit load of flannel.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think as the years go on, the ''rules'' of dating change. I imagine that twenty years ago things were pretty simple, if you wanted to date you joined an agency rather than a site and they did all the heavy lifting for you.

These days dating seems to be more of a game with the objective being getting more dates than your friends. Social media plays a big part on dating sites. A lot of profiles I see from women of all ages (men probably do the same) have their snapchat, instagram and facebook profiles on them. I think the only reason people do that is to ''get more'' than their friends.

I once saw a documentary that said Twitter is the latest form of video game. It's about getting more followers than the next person, a new version of the high score. Dating nowadays is very similar.

You still go to a pub or a club to pull, but dating sites make things a lot more simple I guess.

My friend told me that if he and his girlfriend of eight years broke up, he'd have no idea how to date. I can't say I disagree. I'm looking to date, but I don't even know what I'm doing for the most part, I just wing it and hope for the best."

I think the problem is actually that online quicky seems to become dialashag.

I'm a hopeless romantic trapped in a hook up culture

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’d like to be wooed and courted. Old fashioned romance.

To be made to feel special, loved, listened to, and more importantly, that they do actually have eyes just for me and they’re not giving me a shit load of flannel. Agreed!

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh god when ads and I got together it was a struggle for the first couple of months. My ex husband and I had a very strange and he was very controlling of me even though we had split up and I found myself lying to him when meeting Ads.

Ads also lived in Essex and me in Kent (more nearer to Surrey), so that was another struggle.

But we knew we had something special and we made it work, it wasn’t easy the distance and the train became my new best friend and then when I got a car, the m25 but I’m glad we did and then 8 months later I moved in with him.

I think when you meet ‘the one’ it just works.

Geeky x

And now we are all jealous "

#SorryNotSorry we’ve said on many of the dating threads to the point I feel like we’ve said it too much. But dating on here does work in rare cases. I found we clicked as soon as I saw Geeky. I know it’s disheartening but stick with it your ideal person is out there somewhere

Ads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh god when ads and I got together it was a struggle for the first couple of months. My ex husband and I had a very strange and he was very controlling of me even though we had split up and I found myself lying to him when meeting Ads.

Ads also lived in Essex and me in Kent (more nearer to Surrey), so that was another struggle.

But we knew we had something special and we made it work, it wasn’t easy the distance and the train became my new best friend and then when I got a car, the m25 but I’m glad we did and then 8 months later I moved in with him.

I think when you meet ‘the one’ it just works.

Geeky x

And now we are all jealous

#SorryNotSorry we’ve said on many of the dating threads to the point I feel like we’ve said it too much. But dating on here does work in rare cases. I found we clicked as soon as I saw Geeky. I know it’s disheartening but stick with it your ideal person is out there somewhere

Ads"

And you look so happy together x

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro


"I’d like to be wooed and courted. Old fashioned romance.

To be made to feel special, loved, listened to, and more importantly, that they do actually have eyes just for me and they’re not giving me a shit load of flannel.

"

We are only made to feel special for a short period of time until the next picture takes there attention away etc. To many sweets in the shop should I have this one, no this one, no how about this one....we are all so disposable with a short wow factor thats how we are made to feel....I cant remember the last time someone made me feel special maybe 18 years ago

Sad but true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d like to be wooed and courted. Old fashioned romance.

To be made to feel special, loved, listened to, and more importantly, that they do actually have eyes just for me and they’re not giving me a shit load of flannel.

We are only made to feel special for a short period of time until the next picture takes there attention away etc. To many sweets in the shop should I have this one, no this one, no how about this one....we are all so disposable with a short wow factor thats how we are made to feel....I cant remember the last time someone made me feel special maybe 18 years ago

Sad but true

"

I was having such a good evening until I read that. That's pretty shit you feel that way. I'd like to think I was one of the good ones who could make someone feel special, I'd hate to be the other kind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d like to be wooed and courted. Old fashioned romance.

To be made to feel special, loved, listened to, and more importantly, that they do actually have eyes just for me and they’re not giving me a shit load of flannel.

We are only made to feel special for a short period of time until the next picture takes there attention away etc. To many sweets in the shop should I have this one, no this one, no how about this one....we are all so disposable with a short wow factor thats how we are made to feel....I cant remember the last time someone made me feel special maybe 18 years ago

Sad but true

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d like to be wooed and courted. Old fashioned romance.

To be made to feel special, loved, listened to, and more importantly, that they do actually have eyes just for me and they’re not giving me a shit load of flannel.

We are only made to feel special for a short period of time until the next picture takes there attention away etc. To many sweets in the shop should I have this one, no this one, no how about this one....we are all so disposable with a short wow factor thats how we are made to feel....I cant remember the last time someone made me feel special maybe 18 years ago

Sad but true

"

That is sad

Not everybody is looking for other sweets though, some are happy with what they have.

If your committed to jammie dodgers then you won't allow yourself to seek perfection with custard creams

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think for a start being on here and looking for something meaningful is like a straight guy looking on Grindr and wondering where all the girls are. The majority of guys on here just want a fuck. We can hope that they'll meet us and want more but if they're not in the mindset of wanting a relationship then nothing will change that.

Then you have to factor in that most guys wouldn't want to make a girlfriend out of a woman they met on what is essentially a fuck site.

Unless a guy wants to have some kind of swinging relationship or an open relationship where he's still free to fuck other people then anything else is pretty pointless.

Yes I could fuck a guy every weekend, could have 20 different guys to fuck every night of the week if I wanted and so could every other woman on here.

I really need to start being proactive cos I'm not getting younger and I'm tired of being on my own.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro


"I’d like to be wooed and courted. Old fashioned romance.

To be made to feel special, loved, listened to, and more importantly, that they do actually have eyes just for me and they’re not giving me a shit load of flannel.

We are only made to feel special for a short period of time until the next picture takes there attention away etc. To many sweets in the shop should I have this one, no this one, no how about this one....we are all so disposable with a short wow factor thats how we are made to feel....I cant remember the last time someone made me feel special maybe 18 years ago

Sad but true

That is sad

Not everybody is looking for other sweets though, some are happy with what they have.

If your committed to jammie dodgers then you won't allow yourself to seek perfection with custard creams "

Whats the saying if you have steak at home why go out for fish and chips

Im just saying how I feel maybe I will go out and buy some custard creams tomorrow. Thanks for the heads up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d like to be wooed and courted. Old fashioned romance.

To be made to feel special, loved, listened to, and more importantly, that they do actually have eyes just for me and they’re not giving me a shit load of flannel.

We are only made to feel special for a short period of time until the next picture takes there attention away etc. To many sweets in the shop should I have this one, no this one, no how about this one....we are all so disposable with a short wow factor thats how we are made to feel....I cant remember the last time someone made me feel special maybe 18 years ago

Sad but true

That is sad

Not everybody is looking for other sweets though, some are happy with what they have.

If your committed to jammie dodgers then you won't allow yourself to seek perfection with custard creams

Whats the saying if you have steak at home why go out for fish and chips

Im just saying how I feel maybe I will go out and buy some custard creams tomorrow. Thanks for the heads up "

Jammie Dodgers are far better!

That's basically what I'm saying yes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’d like to be wooed and courted. Old fashioned romance.

To be made to feel special, loved, listened to, and more importantly, that they do actually have eyes just for me and they’re not giving me a shit load of flannel.

We are only made to feel special for a short period of time until the next picture takes there attention away etc. To many sweets in the shop should I have this one, no this one, no how about this one....we are all so disposable with a short wow factor thats how we are made to feel....I cant remember the last time someone made me feel special maybe 18 years ago

Sad but true

"

Sadly I think we can all often relate to this. Some patterns of people's behaviours also can leave you questioning if you will ever be good enough.

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By *eep.Man
over a year ago

Just a background character


"How do people actually date and build relationships these days?

I've been single for years. Dates I've had have been pretty uninspiring. Yet it seems to come so easily to other people!

I really would love to find happy ever after but find I hang around here because I'm actually terrified of it.

I probably have more baggage than Heathrow airport and I'm probably not proper girlfriend material.

However what do people actually want? What makes someone relationship material over just instant gratification?

"

Never found love when I was looking for it. Just be patient and it will find you.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I never really dated - I always started relationships, usually with someone from my peer group I already knew. I've been on various dating sites recently but I'm yet to find anyone that trips my trigger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been on my own for 4 years , recently met someone who I thought would be nice to date , then caught him out in a lie so another one bites the dust ..

Maybe some of us are just meant to be single

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It makes me sad to see how many people feel they are meant to be single or won’t find love again... I do wonder the same as the rest will i find it again... and maybe I won’t... but I agree with the above sometimes things just happen without you expecting it!! So I’m not looking as such... and maybe one day... wham?! And in the mean time I hope to find some sexy friends who I can have amazing sex with!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe all this going looking for relationships, significant others, love,just doesn't work.

It seems to creep up on us when and where least expected, including even on fab

Perhaps what we do about it when that happens is the most important thing.

We can accept it, reject it, run away from it, or towards it, trust in it, or be cynical about it, fear it, or accept it, distrust it, or embrace it....

When both respond to it the same way then maybe that's when it's real and if they do then we should simply celebrate it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari. It's an insightful book on how difficult it's become dating in the tech age compare to when our parents did it. Swiping / so much choice has psychologically made us feel there's always someone better and we're now less likely to stick around.

Find people interested in your hobbies (excluding fab) and take it from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly think it just happens. Every relationship I have had has been when I've least expected it. Although The last one burnt me hard as he wasn't the person he pretended to be and he knocked my confidence big time, I think I find it hard to let go and trust fully now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

They say you need to be happy alone before you get in to a relationship, I think there's some truth in that, however does it make us less willing to compromise on anything on the search for Mr/ Miss Right?

I think after 9 years being single I'd maybe be more willing to look at if I'm hoping for too much!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I honestly think it just happens. Every relationship I have had has been when I've least expected it. Although The last one burnt me hard as he wasn't the person he pretended to be and he knocked my confidence big time, I think I find it hard to let go and trust fully now. "

I think it does just happen for some people, however I think you really have to be open to the possibility of it happening too. Otherwise do you blink and miss it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I honestly think it just happens. Every relationship I have had has been when I've least expected it. Although The last one burnt me hard as he wasn't the person he pretended to be and he knocked my confidence big time, I think I find it hard to let go and trust fully now.

I think it does just happen for some people, however I think you really have to be open to the possibility of it happening too. Otherwise do you blink and miss it? "

Agree with both of the above... x

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By *itvclaireTV/TS
over a year ago

Birmingham

Been single for over 12 months now. Id love to find that special someone. My female partner in crime.

XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If anyone wants a serious relationship and to feel special again please get out of the virtual world....

Put your phones away and go meet some people in the real world....

You don’t need money.....

If you like animals - volunteer at animal shelter

If you like reading/math/science - become a tutor

Just be social and a relationship will find you.

In the meantime you’re doing something positive..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If anyone wants a serious relationship and to feel special again please get out of the virtual world....

Put your phones away and go meet some people in the real world....

You don’t need money.....

If you like animals - volunteer at animal shelter

If you like reading/math/science - become a tutor

Just be social and a relationship will find you.

In the meantime you’re doing something positive..

"

How do I find a kinky guy that’s into swinging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If anyone wants a serious relationship and to feel special again please get out of the virtual world....

Put your phones away and go meet some people in the real world....

You don’t need money.....

If you like animals - volunteer at animal shelter

If you like reading/math/science - become a tutor

Just be social and a relationship will find you.

In the meantime you’re doing something positive..

How do I find a kinky guy that’s into swinging? "

Start hanging out at Art Gallery’s and naturalist beaches... people that go to these places tend to have a open mind.

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