FabSwingers.com forum: Women fear rejection?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I had a conversation with a guy local to me about the women on this site, apparently, and these are his words, they won’t message a guy first for fear of rejection. They prefer to be messaged first which is why you see so many statuses about them being overwhelmed with messages and not being able to cope, i do know a few ladies, on the forums anyway, that will send a first message if some one does catch their eye, but a majority, will just filter through their inbox and never use the search option to find what they’re looking for, just in case they don’t get the response they wanted.

So, do women fear rejection on here?

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Don't we all fear rejection in one way or another, the advantage on Fab as you have pointed out is that women don't have to suffer it if they don't want to.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I fear rejection everywhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't

I often message first..

And i do searches looking for specific types as i rarely meet people off the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message people first and also I don’t have a fear of rejection of someone for a fab meet! Those sorts of feelings would be more aligned with dating etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes many do because they've said so. I find it really crap that they have no empathy for the men that get lots of rejection.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes many do because they've said so. I find it really crap that they have no empathy for the men that get lots of rejection. "

brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a conversation with a guy local to me about the women on this site, apparently, and these are his words, they won’t message a guy first for fear of rejection. They prefer to be messaged first which is why you see so many statuses about them being overwhelmed with messages and not being able to cope, i do know a few ladies, on the forums anyway, that will send a first message if some one does catch their eye, but a majority, will just filter through their inbox and never use the search option to find what they’re looking for, just in case they don’t get the response they wanted.

So, do women fear rejection on here?"

Majority do its a balls thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think as a whole, many of us are becoming really good at dealing with rejection. Purely down to the online platforms

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Couldn't give a monkies about being rejected by a stranger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've messaged first and I've been rejected. But on the whole it's more a matter of not having time to look due to sifting through the messages im receiving instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a lady seeking ladies; your theory would leave us rather scuppered don’t you think.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I fear rejection everywhere

I find that hard to believe!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, many do. That's not just on Fab though, it's in life in general.

Many also deep down know that they're not as hot in real life as they are in Fab life.

Lots of fit guys will approach women on Fab that they wouldn't consider in a bar. You can't blame women for that. That's partly what creates what you describe.

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

I've messaged people and heard nothing back, I just assume I'm not for them and think no more about it.

If I've been chatting and send a face pic and someone says nah, I honestly feel no more than oh well it was nice chatting. Everyone likes what they like , we are what we are, just wait till the two things align.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I fear rejection everywhere

I find that hard to believe!"

Really?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I send a message saying I’m not meeting at the moment or Im not chatting I don’t see that as rejecting someone... it’s just that I’m not meeting!!?

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

Rejection is something I think we all fear.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I'd love it if more fab women would message first but I understand that they can probably find what they want from men messaging them.

In all if my years on fab I can't remember being messaged first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a raggy doll. I'm used to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All those hurt by rejection let me know and il come kiss u better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All those hurt by rejection let me know and il come kiss u better

Badly worded ladies only please blokes u only get a creme egg or tbag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a guy, I don't take it personally. I've read a lot of guys do but we can't all be everyone's cup of tea.

There's always someone who is right for you.

I would think if you feel rejected here then your possibly taking it too seriously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All those hurt by rejection let me know and il come kiss u better

Badly worded ladies only please blokes u only get a creme egg or tbag

Too kind. What a guy!!

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By *afadaoMan
over a year ago

Staines

"I think as a whole, many of us are becoming really good at dealing with rejection. Purely down to the online platforms"

This is spot-on. It’s so easy to just reject by pressing the delete button. No explanation or conversation required. And to that end, I personally wouldn’t even consider it a rejection - just an expected vagary of the site.

As for women - There will be a mixture. Some won’t give a hoot, some might take it personally but I imagine that if you have a gazillion messages on your inbox, you probably don’t have to actually do much messaging yourself !

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

I have a much better success rate if I message someone first. I get very little mail which suits me and gives me time to concentrate on finding what I want

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Yes, many do. That's not just on Fab though, it's in life in general.

Many also deep down know that they're not as hot in real life as they are in Fab life.

Lots of fit guys will approach women on Fab that they wouldn't consider in a bar. You can't blame women for that. That's partly what creates what you describe. "

I don't get that,why would a 'fit' guy approach a woman on here that they wouldn't consider in a bar? Surely if he's fit and not an idiot he can have his fill of women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I do.

It's also one of the main reasons I don't meet very often

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats to fear worst that can happen is you get a no and some abuse off some pixels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t fear rejection. but I do rely on the unsolicited messages I get to find my meets. I’ve never used the search facility.

One man on the forums (he’s left now, something I said?) really got my attention, so I messaged him first. A well written, relevant to his profile mrsssge, which he completely ignored lol. It did remind me to consider how demoralising it would feel to send countless messages that aren’t answered, or are rejected.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Comes down to fragile egos, which is usually viewed as a man thing.

Women on here get an ego boost from all the messages receive, they put that boost at risk if they message first and get turned down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all do to a certain extent man and women if we are honest

Saying that i have mailed fellas on fab first in the hope of getting a chat going

It has worked in some cases and in others cases unanswered ignored or if they answered and u read between the lines they dont have a lot of interest in chatting so u move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I message first if I fancy someone, if they've said something funny in the forum or if I really like their pics.

Nothing wrong with a bit of rejection now and then....keeps us all grounded.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I see a profile I like the look of, I will either send a wink or a message. Used to be worried about rejection but have been here on and off for enough years to know I am not everyone's cup of tea and move on xx

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Its human nature to shy away from situations where we may feel vulnerable, rejection being just one of those.

If anything approaching people online can give us a platform to do so with a degree of anonymity which can relieve that fear a bit.

Our online personas are very often far more brave and outgoing hence the number of so called keyboard warriors. Even when meeting face to face at some point is a high possibilty we allow ourselves to project an air of confidence that face to face just isn't instantly there.

Personally, I like to think I am a friendly, bubbly, outgoing woman but in truth I can be seen as rather quiet, shy and sometimes a bit aloof. This goes back ultimately to my fear of being rejected and a deed seated need for acceptance and being liked.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Comes down to fragile egos, which is usually viewed as a man thing.

Women on here get an ego boost from all the messages receive, they put that boost at risk if they message first and get turned down. "

Lol this perspective is strongly filtered through a fragile male ego!! Getting inappropriate messages from people you don't fancy and don't want to meet does absolutely nothing for the ego, that's a fallacious argument. ....or a phallacious one!

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Comes down to fragile egos, which is usually viewed as a man thing.

Women on here get an ego boost from all the messages receive, they put that boost at risk if they message first and get turned down. "

Ego boost from men wanting a shag and from what men say on here they'll shag you just because you have a vagina,yeah great ego boost that is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Comes down to fragile egos, which is usually viewed as a man thing.

Women on here get an ego boost from all the messages receive, they put that boost at risk if they message first and get turned down. "

Ohh that’s harsh, do you really think all women are here for an ego boost?

Of course it’s nice to get loads of messages, but I’m not daft enough to let it go to my head. Like many women on Fab I’m here for fun (and I’ve met some good friends) not to have my ego overinflated. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Comes down to fragile egos, which is usually viewed as a man thing.

Women on here get an ego boost from all the messages receive, they put that boost at risk if they message first and get turned down.

Ego boost from men wanting a shag and from what men say on here they'll shag you just because you have a vagina,yeah great ego boost that is."

You seem really down on blokes at the min i do hope someone manages to change your mind about us and put a smile back on your face

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"Comes down to fragile egos, which is usually viewed as a man thing.

Women on here get an ego boost from all the messages receive, they put that boost at risk if they message first and get turned down.

Ego boost from men wanting a shag and from what men say on here they'll shag you just because you have a vagina,yeah great ego boost that is."

My tea cup has an enormous ego

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

The only time on here when I feared rejection was the last meet I had as he looked like a cross between Jason Statham and Bruce Willis. I don't lack confidence but I knew I wanted him to like me.

Next month marks four years of living together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I do, though that might be my issue and not a general Fab issue. My confidence has taken a knock lately so I’m gently trying to rebuild it x

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Comes down to fragile egos, which is usually viewed as a man thing.

Women on here get an ego boost from all the messages receive, they put that boost at risk if they message first and get turned down.

Ego boost from men wanting a shag and from what men say on here they'll shag you just because you have a vagina,yeah great ego boost that is.

You seem really down on blokes at the min i do hope someone manages to change your mind about us and put a smile back on your face

No it's just tedious when men come out with thing's like that,it has nothing to do with how I feel so stop patronizing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Us women get ridiculous amount of messages but its not an ego trip.. guys will say anything to get a fuck!

If we all liked the same life would be boring so i have no problem with the rejection but i rarely search to be fair. Im always very nice in my rejection messages too. Theres no need to be rude to people

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Comes down to fragile egos, which is usually viewed as a man thing.

Women on here get an ego boost from all the messages receive, they put that boost at risk if they message first and get turned down.

Ohh that’s harsh, do you really think all women are here for an ego boost?

No I just think an ego boost is perfectly natural once you get lots of messages.

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

I think a lot of the difference between how women and men see things can be summed up with the Margaret Atwood quote :

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Our perspectives are very different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Comes down to fragile egos, which is usually viewed as a man thing.

Women on here get an ego boost from all the messages receive, they put that boost at risk if they message first and get turned down.

Ego boost from men wanting a shag and from what men say on here they'll shag you just because you have a vagina,yeah great ego boost that is.

You seem really down on blokes at the min i do hope someone manages to change your mind about us and put a smile back on your face

No it's just tedious when men come out with thing's like that,it has nothing to do with how I feel so stop patronizing."

Wasnt trying to be patronizing but if thats how you read it fair dos thats on you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of the difference between how women and men see things can be summed up with the Margaret Atwood quote :

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Our perspectives are very different "

Bit extreme

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of the difference between how women and men see things can be summed up with the Margaret Atwood quote :

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Our perspectives are very different "

I must say that it has been a while I haven't killed any women #sarcasm

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Avoidance of rejection is a normal human response, but who gives a stuff about a stranger on the Internet?

I am very likely so say 'Wow look at you!' or some such comment if someone new pops up on the forums and piques my interest. I may make my attraction known, but I will not pursue. Apart from not wanting to have to trawl through the ghastly profiles looking for the odd gem, and being primally prey not predator, why would anyone want to waste their time chasing people who are not interested?

The guys who contact me have expressed an interest, so at least I know the time chatting would not be wasted, that's my strongest motivation.

If I was a man, I would certainly check the basics before messaging - that would surely cut down their initial rejection rate too!!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I think a lot of the difference between how women and men see things can be summed up with the Margaret Atwood quote :

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Our perspectives are very different "

That's the bit men don't get - women's ego does not work in the same way at all, her concerns are very different,

they are interpreting responses through the wrong filter.

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"I think a lot of the difference between how women and men see things can be summed up with the Margaret Atwood quote :

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Our perspectives are very different

Bit extreme"

It's a simplified statement yes, but I wouldn't say it's extreme. It just highlights our differences, women often have to think of their safety at times where it wouldn't cross a guys mind. And the worst outcome a guy might get from a bad meet is being rejected/laughed at?

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"I think a lot of the difference between how women and men see things can be summed up with the Margaret Atwood quote :

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Our perspectives are very different

I must say that it has been a while I haven't killed any women #sarcasm"

Haha I realise the murderers are in a minority, it's more about how differently we think that's all x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Comes down to fragile egos, which is usually viewed as a man thing.

Women on here get an ego boost from all the messages receive, they put that boost at risk if they message first and get turned down.

Ohh that’s harsh, do you really think all women are here for an ego boost?

No I just think an ego boost is perfectly natural once you get lots of messages. "

I’ve said, yes it’s good to get messages, but my ego (or as I see it, my self esteem) doesn’t get ‘put at risk’ if I’m turned down. I’m old and wise enough to know that I won’t be attractive to every man on here. I also agree with the other ladies in this thread who have pointed out that we are often just seen as an easy shag, which is not so good for the ego

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"I think a lot of the difference between how women and men see things can be summed up with the Margaret Atwood quote :

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Our perspectives are very different

That's the bit men don't get - women's ego does not work in the same way at all, her concerns are very different,

they are interpreting responses through the wrong filter. "

I think things are changing a little,more guys are getting an insight into how women think defensively whilst doing everyday things. There's more discussion since the #metoo movement,which can only be a good thing.

Anyway I've skewe off topic a bit , my apologies to OP. I'll shush now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ignore my inbox largely and I don't get many messages at all. I message those I like. Rejection on here is insignificant and certainly not something to be feared. It works for me as I don't end up wasting time having pointless conversations with those I've no intention of meeting and have no interest in. As a result my fab existence is a happy pain free one.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I think a lot of the difference between how women and men see things can be summed up with the Margaret Atwood quote :

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Our perspectives are very different

That's the bit men don't get - women's ego does not work in the same way at all, her concerns are very different,

they are interpreting responses through the wrong filter.

Anyway I've skewe off topic a bit , my apologies to OP. I'll shush now

Yes I was not referring to the need for defensive thinking as much as the lack of the same ego drives. Off the top of my head I think a women's ego is far more affected by eg what a few of her nearest and dearest think and say, not what a bunch of insincere strangers on the Internet say. We simply don't have the same peacock mentality, so many men make the comment about how women's egos must be inflated by something that would mean the world to him, but actually means jack shit to most of us! !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only time on here when I feared rejection was the last meet I had as he looked like a cross between Jason Statham and Bruce Willis. I don't lack confidence but I knew I wanted him to like me.

Next month marks four years of living together. "

This is lovely to hear!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only time on here when I feared rejection was the last meet I had as he looked like a cross between Jason Statham and Bruce Willis. I don't lack confidence but I knew I wanted him to like me.

Next month marks four years of living together.

This is lovely to hear! "

I agree... there is hope for us all!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is hilarious OP

People should t be on this site if they fear rejection. I'm afraid rejection is all part and parcel of swinging for us all.

I mainly message first as I find it's more productive, and I don't let it bother me if I'm rejected.

It's not nature for us all to find everyone attractive and appealing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't fear rejection if I message a man and he's not interested in meeting me. I do wonder though if the men won't like it as some like to do the hunting.

I got my current FWB off another site by messaging him first. It doesn't bother me if men don't want to meet me. XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes, many do. That's not just on Fab though, it's in life in general.

Many also deep down know that they're not as hot in real life as they are in Fab life.

Lots of fit guys will approach women on Fab that they wouldn't consider in a bar. You can't blame women for that. That's partly what creates what you describe.

I don't get that,why would a 'fit' guy approach a woman on here that they wouldn't consider in a bar? Surely if he's fit and not an idiot he can have his fill of women."

There are many reasons, non of which means he's an idiot. Just because you don't understand something doesn't make him the idiot.

Most people know that happens on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of the difference between how women and men see things can be summed up with the Margaret Atwood quote :

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Our perspectives are very different

That's the bit men don't get - women's ego does not work in the same way at all, her concerns are very different,

they are interpreting responses through the wrong filter. "

That's very true. In the same way, many women interpret mens drivers through the wrong filter.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I'm under no illusion that I am only fab sexy but that doesn't mean that rejection doesn't hurt sometimes. Not all the time but after a fair few it does build up abs can get you down.

This is why I wonder why some guys get upset at the lack of thanks but no thanks messages. What good is an inbox full of rejection?!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I think a lot of the difference between how women and men see things can be summed up with the Margaret Atwood quote :

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Our perspectives are very different

That's the bit men don't get - women's ego does not work in the same way at all, her concerns are very different,

they are interpreting responses through the wrong filter.

That's very true. In the same way, many women interpret mens drivers through the wrong filter.

I am sure - but some of us are fascinated by the psychology nonetheless! It's funny, even when you know something it's really hard to relate out of that place when you are wired so differently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm under no illusion that I am only fab sexy but that doesn't mean that rejection doesn't hurt sometimes. Not all the time but after a fair few it does build up abs can get you down.

This is why I wonder why some guys get upset at the lack of thanks but no thanks messages. What good is an inbox full of rejection?! "

Can I ask what you mean by "Fab Sexy" ?

The reason I ask if I'm of a similiar opinion I think (assuming you mean what I think you mean) that in vanilla world.. or everyday day like I'm possibly a 6/10. Okay but no head turner but in Fab world I'm a 9/10. There's not a day that passes without someone saying how "stunning" I am.

Sorry to hijack your post OP.. I know I'm going off topic..

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I'm under no illusion that I am only fab sexy but that doesn't mean that rejection doesn't hurt sometimes. Not all the time but after a fair few it does build up abs can get you down.

This is why I wonder why some guys get upset at the lack of thanks but no thanks messages. What good is an inbox full of rejection?!

Can I ask what you mean by "Fab Sexy" ?

Sorry to hijack your post OP.. I know I'm going off topic.. "

Yeah that's kind of what I mean. In the real world I rarely pull on nights out yet I could have a different guy each night of the week on here.

Similarly on dating sites on rarely get messages back even though we've 'matched'.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Yes, many do. That's not just on Fab though, it's in life in general.

Many also deep down know that they're not as hot in real life as they are in Fab life.

Lots of fit guys will approach women on Fab that they wouldn't consider in a bar. You can't blame women for that. That's partly what creates what you describe.

I don't get that,why would a 'fit' guy approach a woman on here that they wouldn't consider in a bar? Surely if he's fit and not an idiot he can have his fill of women.

There are many reasons, non of which means he's an idiot. Just because you don't understand something doesn't make him the idiot.

Most people know that happens on here."

I'm not calling anyone an idiot I just said if he's not an idiot and that didn't really explain.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Yes, many do. That's not just on Fab though, it's in life in general.

Many also deep down know that they're not as hot in real life as they are in Fab life.

Lots of fit guys will approach women on Fab that they wouldn't consider in a bar. You can't blame women for that. That's partly what creates what you describe.

I don't get that,why would a 'fit' guy approach a woman on here that they wouldn't consider in a bar? Surely if he's fit and not an idiot he can have his fill of women.

There are many reasons, non of which means he's an idiot. Just because you don't understand something doesn't make him the idiot.

Most people know that happens on here.

I'm not calling anyone an idiot I just said if he's not an idiot and that didn't really explain."

Perhaps they fear the rejection of the hotties they prefer so lower their standards just for a fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm under no illusion that I am only fab sexy but that doesn't mean that rejection doesn't hurt sometimes. Not all the time but after a fair few it does build up abs can get you down.

This is why I wonder why some guys get upset at the lack of thanks but no thanks messages. What good is an inbox full of rejection?! "

I believe that men as is the case with the male of most species are wired to do the chasing and therefore more wired to deal with rejection.

I just think that for many it's harder to deal with perceived rudeness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men fear rejection more than women due to the ratio were it feels like 300 men to 1 female on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't fear rejection here. To me it's not real life. People are judging you on some photos and some words you have written. If they don't appeal that's fine, there are plenty of others who they will appeal to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes, many do. That's not just on Fab though, it's in life in general.

Many also deep down know that they're not as hot in real life as they are in Fab life.

Lots of fit guys will approach women on Fab that they wouldn't consider in a bar. You can't blame women for that. That's partly what creates what you describe.

I don't get that,why would a 'fit' guy approach a woman on here that they wouldn't consider in a bar? Surely if he's fit and not an idiot he can have his fill of women.

There are many reasons, non of which means he's an idiot. Just because you don't understand something doesn't make him the idiot.

Most people know that happens on here.

I'm not calling anyone an idiot I just said if he's not an idiot and that didn't really explain.

Perhaps they fear the rejection of the hotties they prefer so lower their standards just for a fuck

That's definitely one of the reasons but not a main one.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Yup, unless they actually know you it's pretty meaningless.......if you are not ego driven that is!

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By *riefcase_WankerMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"I think a lot of the difference between how women and men see things can be summed up with the Margaret Atwood quote :

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Our perspectives are very different

Bit extreme"

Perhaps, but it's about 2 women a week that get murdered by their partner or something, isn't it?

The prisons are filled with blokes that never thought they had it in them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't fear rejection here. To me it's not real life. People are judging you on some photos and some words you have written. If they don't appeal that's fine, there are plenty of others who they will appeal to. i see well the everyone here should be come a judge in really life as a photo never tells the real story about the person in the photo plus it well know some photo make you look fatter depending on who taken it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd love it if more fab women would message first but I understand that they can probably find what they want from men messaging them.

In all if my years on fab I can't remember being messaged first

When I was meeting, I only sent about 2 messages. I didn’t really use the search section because I didn’t want casual meets. I would leave it to guys to read what I wanted and let them decide to contact me. Now if I wanted to fuck around then I would have no problem messaging first.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Yes, many do. That's not just on Fab though, it's in life in general.

Many also deep down know that they're not as hot in real life as they are in Fab life.

Lots of fit guys will approach women on Fab that they wouldn't consider in a bar. You can't blame women for that. That's partly what creates what you describe.

I don't get that,why would a 'fit' guy approach a woman on here that they wouldn't consider in a bar? Surely if he's fit and not an idiot he can have his fill of women.

There are many reasons, non of which means he's an idiot. Just because you don't understand something doesn't make him the idiot.

Most people know that happens on here.

I'm not calling anyone an idiot I just said if he's not an idiot and that didn't really explain.

Perhaps they fear the rejection of the hotties they prefer so lower their standards just for a fuck

and ugly women won't say no to a hot guy,oh right I get it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot has to do with your emotional state, we all cope with rejection differently, deep down inside no one despite what they say, likes to be rejected either in the real world or the fab world, but it is a fact of life, someone is always going to be better in whatever way than you, be it looks, experience, whatever, the trick is accept you are never going to be all things to all people, be yourself and as long as you are happy and comfortable with who you are, fear of rejection should never be an issue.

Best way to look at it, it's their loss, not yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes, many do. That's not just on Fab though, it's in life in general.

Many also deep down know that they're not as hot in real life as they are in Fab life.

Lots of fit guys will approach women on Fab that they wouldn't consider in a bar. You can't blame women for that. That's partly what creates what you describe.

I don't get that,why would a 'fit' guy approach a woman on here that they wouldn't consider in a bar? Surely if he's fit and not an idiot he can have his fill of women.

There are many reasons, non of which means he's an idiot. Just because you don't understand something doesn't make him the idiot.

Most people know that happens on here.

I'm not calling anyone an idiot I just said if he's not an idiot and that didn't really explain.

Perhaps they fear the rejection of the hotties they prefer so lower their standards just for a fuck

and ugly women won't say no to a hot guy,oh right I get it."

It has little to do with 'ugly'. Contrary to popular Fab belief most men will not have sex with a women they perceive to be ugly.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Yes, many do. That's not just on Fab though, it's in life in general.

Many also deep down know that they're not as hot in real life as they are in Fab life.

Lots of fit guys will approach women on Fab that they wouldn't consider in a bar. You can't blame women for that. That's partly what creates what you describe.

I don't get that,why would a 'fit' guy approach a woman on here that they wouldn't consider in a bar? Surely if he's fit and not an idiot he can have his fill of women.

There are many reasons, non of which means he's an idiot. Just because you don't understand something doesn't make him the idiot.

Most people know that happens on here.

I'm not calling anyone an idiot I just said if he's not an idiot and that didn't really explain.

Perhaps they fear the rejection of the hotties they prefer so lower their standards just for a fuck

and ugly women won't say no to a hot guy,oh right I get it.

It has little to do with 'ugly'. Contrary to popular Fab belief most men will not have sex with a women they perceive to be ugly. "

I don't get what you're saying then,just spit it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes, many do. That's not just on Fab though, it's in life in general.

Many also deep down know that they're not as hot in real life as they are in Fab life.

Lots of fit guys will approach women on Fab that they wouldn't consider in a bar. You can't blame women for that. That's partly what creates what you describe.

I don't get that,why would a 'fit' guy approach a woman on here that they wouldn't consider in a bar? Surely if he's fit and not an idiot he can have his fill of women.

There are many reasons, non of which means he's an idiot. Just because you don't understand something doesn't make him the idiot.

Most people know that happens on here.

I'm not calling anyone an idiot I just said if he's not an idiot and that didn't really explain.

Perhaps they fear the rejection of the hotties they prefer so lower their standards just for a fuck

and ugly women won't say no to a hot guy,oh right I get it.

It has little to do with 'ugly'. Contrary to popular Fab belief most men will not have sex with a women they perceive to be ugly. "
that is so true because it believe you got to be perfect in every way they see you on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there are both men and women who fear rejection...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"there are both men and women who fear rejection..."
men fear it more then women due to the high number of me on and not enough women to go around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most men would shag anything with pulse so I would say women get rejected as much as men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most men would shag anything with pulse so I would say women get rejected as much as men "
if that was true everyone whose posted here as shag some of this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I could find men I'm interested in to message, I would.

My one concern would be that they would assume sex was definitely going to happen because I messaged them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are so many I would have messaged but considered way out of my league.

To be honest I think guys would be more nervous than women if they actually want a connection more than just a fuck and run.

Winks and fabs take the pressure off and may get you on a woman's radar while you build up the courage to face that rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont fear it just dont like it but cant make omlettes without breaking nails

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I feel someone is completely out of my league or they have different preferences to what I look like, I don't message first. To me, that's not fearing rejection. I'm just realistic enough to know the odds on meeting them, would be nil anyway, so why bother?

Other than those types. I have no problem messaging first, If I like the look of their profile and what they have written on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I regret being a smoker. That's stopped me messaging some people. Although those that message me seem willing to overlook it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are so many I would have messaged but considered way out of my league.

To be honest I think guys would be more nervous than women if they actually want a connection more than just a fuck and run.

Winks and fabs take the pressure off and may get you on a woman's radar while you build up the courage to face that rejection.

It’s sad that we are made to feel that some people are ‘out of our league’ me included!! It’s time we all stopped feeling like this!!!

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By *ucky78Woman
over a year ago

liverpool

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and find it hard to message first if I do then after a while it becomes easier but yes I don’t like to be rejected

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I could find men I'm interested in to message, I would.

My one concern would be that they would assume sex was definitely going to happen because I messaged them. "

They seem to think it's a done deal.

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