FabSwingers.com forum: A Mans Inbox

By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Just an idea...

Women and couples are seemingly inundated with messages. So much so they often have to bulk delete and rarely reply (as per site advice, no reply = not interested).

Men are frustrated by the lack of responses and messages.

So, what if men could not send the first message to ladys or couples, ever?

Initial contact has to be made by the lady or couple.

1. This would force the men to put the effort into their profile and pictures as its those that will attract messages.

2. The ladys and couples would have searched for the profiles that match their requirements so would be more inclined to 'chat' and reply to subsequent messages.

3. All would be less frustrated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just an idea...

Women and couples are seemingly inundated with messages. So much so they often have to bulk delete and rarely reply (as per site advice, no reply = not interested).

Men are frustrated by the lack of responses and messages.

So, what if men could not send the first message to ladys or couples, ever?

Initial contact has to be made by the lady or couple.

1. This would force the men to put the effort into their profile and pictures as its those that will attract messages.

2. The ladys and couples would have searched for the profiles that match their requirements so would be more inclined to 'chat' and reply to subsequent messages.

3. All would be less frustrated

Then you might as well eliminate the single male altogether. That would be a sad day for free choice. Thnk about what you said, how many single females take the time to read profiles and then contact the men... not many I think...

Back to the drawing board....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get about 300 messages a day and always mass delete them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just an idea...

Women and couples are seemingly inundated with messages. So much so they often have to bulk delete and rarely reply (as per site advice, no reply = not interested).

Men are frustrated by the lack of responses and messages.

So, what if men could not send the first message to ladys or couples, ever?

Initial contact has to be made by the lady or couple.

1. This would force the men to put the effort into their profile and pictures as its those that will attract messages.

2. The ladys and couples would have searched for the profiles that match their requirements so would be more inclined to 'chat' and reply to subsequent messages.

3. All would be less frustrated

You do realize that the couples and single females would open themselves up for rejection....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just an idea...

Women and couples are seemingly inundated with messages. So much so they often have to bulk delete and rarely reply (as per site advice, no reply = not interested).

Men are frustrated by the lack of responses and messages.

So, what if men could not send the first message to ladys or couples, ever?

Initial contact has to be made by the lady or couple.

1. This would force the men to put the effort into their profile and pictures as its those that will attract messages.

2. The ladys and couples would have searched for the profiles that match their requirements so would be more inclined to 'chat' and reply to subsequent messages.

3. All would be less frustrated

You do realize that the couples and single females would open themselves up for rejection....

Hell fire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not a perfect system, so the way I see it if I read their profiles and match up with them I msg and if I don't get a reply, move on... their loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just an idea...

Women and couples are seemingly inundated with messages. So much so they often have to bulk delete and rarely reply (as per site advice, no reply = not interested).

Men are frustrated by the lack of responses and messages.

So, what if men could not send the first message to ladys or couples, ever?

Initial contact has to be made by the lady or couple.

1. This would force the men to put the effort into their profile and pictures as its those that will attract messages.

2. The ladys and couples would have searched for the profiles that match their requirements so would be more inclined to 'chat' and reply to subsequent messages.

3. All would be less frustrated

You do realize that the couples and single females would open themselves up for rejection....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get about 300 messages a day and always mass debate with them

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By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"Just an idea...

Women and couples are seemingly inundated with messages. So much so they often have to bulk delete and rarely reply (as per site advice, no reply = not interested).

Men are frustrated by the lack of responses and messages.

So, what if men could not send the first message to ladys or couples, ever?

Initial contact has to be made by the lady or couple.

1. This would force the men to put the effort into their profile and pictures as its those that will attract messages.

2. The ladys and couples would have searched for the profiles that match their requirements so would be more inclined to 'chat' and reply to subsequent messages.

3. All would be less frustrated

Back to the drawing board...."

But they would need to search, as the men do now, and initiate contact.

It would essentially reverse the current dynamic of, for example, 100 men choosing from 10 ladys and couples, to 10 ladys and couples choosing from 100 men.

Its not ever going to happen but what if?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's what the dating app, Bumble, does.

It gets really quiet on there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’d just have endless ‘why does no one message?’ threads from men instead of ‘why does no one reply?’

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By *onnyJohnMan
over a year ago

Doncaster

The reason is money..

How many men would pay to be on a site where they could not initiate contact ?

I know I wouldn't, and I suspect a shed load of others wouldn't, so just for arguments sake 25% of blokes would not pay to be part of that site, out of 2000 blokes 500 would walk or not bother renewal, that's £2500 a month lost almost instantly, over the year £30,000 that may not seem like a massive amount but there are more than 2000 guys on here, many times more, the site would loose a very very large chunk of revenue.

And then there is the dynamic as mentioned in previous replies.

Then there would also be a large increase in guys joining as a couple, in effect fake profiles, what would you prefer, a bulk delete every so often or investing time in getting to know someone for it to almost continually turn out that they're not who they say they are..

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By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

This site is largely available for free

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's a no. I would never consider searching as far south as my man is the fact he contacted me despite the distance well that wouldn't have happened if I was searching because it would be in a 20 mile radius only

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too many single guy fake profiles as well. I never respond to a guy with no pics. Some gave only been on a matter of hours. When I see the message in my in box it says the person gas left the site/deleted their profile. Its this sort of thing that gives single guys a bad name on here.

I ask if they have any veris too and the usual answer is on a previous profile.

Getting a message from a guy with a silhouette profile pic, no veris, profile saying will fill in later and the message itself saying 'wanna fuck'????? Just ruins the site for the genuine guys.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"Just an idea...

Women and couples are seemingly inundated with messages. So much so they often have to bulk delete and rarely reply (as per site advice, no reply = not interested).

Men are frustrated by the lack of responses and messages.

So, what if men could not send the first message to ladys or couples, ever?

Initial contact has to be made by the lady or couple.

1. This would force the men to put the effort into their profile and pictures as its those that will attract messages.

2. The ladys and couples would have searched for the profiles that match their requirements so would be more inclined to 'chat' and reply to subsequent messages.

3. All would be less frustrated

You do realize that the couples and single females would open themselves up for rejection....

Well maybe it's about time they should

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would be quite interesting though. Maybe one day a week

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

"Too many single guy fake profiles as well. I never respond to a guy with no pics. Some gave only been on a matter of hours. When I see the message in my in box it says the person gas left the site/deleted their profile. Its this sort of thing that gives single guys a bad name on here.

I ask if they have any veris too and the usual answer is on a previous profile.

Getting a message from a guy with a silhouette profile pic, no veris, profile saying will fill in later and the message itself saying 'wanna fuck'????? Just ruins the site for the genuine guys. "

So basically it’s because the people looking for single guys are too lazy or too uptight to make the first move..

With regards ‘fake’ profiles. Yes there are loads of fake single guy profiles, but the proportion in comparison to the women is tiny.

Most of the single women ‘only meet with their “fb”’, or are ‘looking for a man to suck my man’s cock whilst I’m away’, or are blatant attention seeker/dreamers or straight up hookers.

The only people who will deny this are the people who don’t have to search, read profiles and send messages.

But.. if others agree with the OP, I can’t wait for your messages.

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

Every blokes profile would have to include a (mostly stolen stolen) rippling abs and foot-long cock pic to get so much as a wink.

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By *onnyJohnMan
over a year ago

Doncaster

"This site is largely available for free"

Not if you want full access to all its functions it isn't.

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

I actually think this is a good idea.

I've currently hidden my profile because I got fed up of men, who clearly hadn't read my profile, messaging me.

The only reason I've never initiated contact is because I'm too lazy.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Don't make me search through all those ghastly inflamed and flaccid cock pics!

Have you seen the average male profile? No, searching would be too depressing!

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

I’d only go for this if there was a separate forum PM facility. I can’t remember the last time I sent a PM to someone looking for a meet; most contact is to chat with forum folk.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'd be up for this - I think it would cut out a lot of the moaning by both women and men (cock pics, lack of replies etc). I don't imagine many men will suddenly get flooded with interest though. The ones who are successful now will continue to be so, the ones who are not so might get the odd one or two sporadically.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just an idea...

Women and couples are seemingly inundated with messages. So much so they often have to bulk delete and rarely reply (as per site advice, no reply = not interested).

Men are frustrated by the lack of responses and messages.

So, what if men could not send the first message to ladys or couples, ever?

Initial contact has to be made by the lady or couple.

1. This would force the men to put the effort into their profile and pictures as its those that will attract messages.

2. The ladys and couples would have searched for the profiles that match their requirements so would be more inclined to 'chat' and reply to subsequent messages.

3. All would be less frustrated

That’s what filters are for?

Bad idea in my opinion

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I’m gonna do a search now.

Wish me luck

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I get about 300 messages a day and always masturbate with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the hot guys would get messages and the ugly ones would get none

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"All the hot guys would get messages and the ugly ones would get none"

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

It's more than skin deep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol if youre ugly youre ugly. Simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm lazy when it comes to scrolling through profiles. The photos would draw me in. If I like the photo I would message, even if there was very little text.

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By *hors.HammerMan
over a year ago

Newbridge

I rarely if ever mail first I even say so on my profile, because I know women are already inundate with messages. So that wouldn't be something new for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All the hot guys would get messages and the ugly ones would get none

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

It's more than skin deep."

Gotta hope so. Otherwise I was born inside out

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

"Don't make me search through all those ghastly inflamed and flaccid cock pics!

Have you seen the average male profile? No, searching would be too depressing!"

If you don’t search you get the average male.

Search and you get your chance of finding the ‘exceptional’ ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just an idea...

Women and couples are seemingly inundated with messages. So much so they often have to bulk delete and rarely reply (as per site advice, no reply = not interested).

Men are frustrated by the lack of responses and messages.

So, what if men could not send the first message to ladys or couples, ever?

Initial contact has to be made by the lady or couple.

1. This would force the men to put the effort into their profile and pictures as its those that will attract messages.

2. The ladys and couples would have searched for the profiles that match their requirements so would be more inclined to 'chat' and reply to subsequent messages.

3. All would be less frustrated

Good call my first message it normally forum or update based jokes of some kind anyway iv given up the chase

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Just an idea...

Women and couples are seemingly inundated with messages. So much so they often have to bulk delete and rarely reply (as per site advice, no reply = not interested).

Men are frustrated by the lack of responses and messages.

So, what if men could not send the first message to ladys or couples, ever?

Initial contact has to be made by the lady or couple.

1. This would force the men to put the effort into their profile and pictures as its those that will attract messages.

2. The ladys and couples would have searched for the profiles that match their requirements so would be more inclined to 'chat' and reply to subsequent messages.

3. All would be less frustrated

You do realize that the couples and single females would open themselves up for rejection....

Also couples and single females would have to send their face pics first, which would subject them to the "Not my type sorry" response.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Lol if youre ugly youre ugly. Simple"

Ugly is what people say, rather than how they look.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol if youre ugly youre ugly. Simple

Ugly is what people say, rather than how they look."
ok ill put it another way. So peoples physical appearance is more desirable than others. No denying that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get about 300 messages a day and always mass delete them

How many are from single men?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

The female and couples who complain about too many mails could always use the filters

https://www.fabswingers.com/my/filters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get about 300 messages a day and always mass delete them

How many are from single men?"

200 & 100 from tv/ts

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By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

I ask if they have any veris too and the usual answer is on a previous profile.

Getting a message from a guy with a silhouette profile pic, no veris, profile saying will fill in later and the message itself saying 'wanna fuck'????? Just ruins the site for the genuine guys. "

But you wouldnt have these problems if they couldnt contact you til you have contacted them?

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By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"All the hot guys would get messages and the ugly ones would get none"

Thats what happens with us ladys now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All the hot guys would get messages and the ugly ones would get none

Thats what happens with us ladys now

Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then again womens first message would be worse than ours

It just be

Face pic lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Then again womens first message would be worse than ours

It just be

Face pic lol"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pfft I had 4 messages today, I'm a baller

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pfft I had 4 messages today, I'm a baller

Now don’t burn your cock on the radiator play boy

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By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"All the hot guys would get messages and the ugly ones would get none

Thats what happens with us ladys now

Haha "

Its true! Ive never ever had loads of messages and Ive been here before as a single forever. I'm a munter clearly.

Of course it does mean when we do get a message Im so excited I am compelled to reply

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Lol if youre ugly youre ugly. Simple

Ugly is what people say, rather than how they look.

ok ill put it another way. So peoples physical appearance is more desirable than others. No denying that"

You forget that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All the hot guys would get messages and the ugly ones would get none

Thats what happens with us ladys now

Haha

Its true! Ive never ever had loads of messages and Ive been here before as a single forever. I'm a munter clearly.

Of course it does mean when we do get a message Im so excited I am compelled to reply

Lol your avatar is a tea cup from the Victorian era.. try a boob pic

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By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"All the hot guys would get messages and the ugly ones would get none

Thats what happens with us ladys now

Haha

Its true! Ive never ever had loads of messages and Ive been here before as a single forever. I'm a munter clearly.

Of course it does mean when we do get a message Im so excited I am compelled to reply

Lol your avatar is a tea cup from the Victorian era.. try a boob pic

I'll have you know thattea cup is by Cath Kidston and has had many appreciative admirers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd be up for this - I think it would cut out a lot of the moaning by both women and men (cock pics, lack of replies etc). I don't imagine many men will suddenly get flooded with interest though. The ones who are successful now will continue to be so, the ones who are not so might get the odd one or two sporadically. "

I agree. I did think it might make the ones with rubbish profiles make some effort but they don't now so I've changed my mind on that one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol if youre ugly youre ugly. Simple

Ugly is what people say, rather than how they look.

ok ill put it another way. So peoples physical appearance is more desirable than others. No denying that

You forget that beauty is in the eye of the beholder....."

So if I think I'm hot as fuck everyone else will too?

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Lol if youre ugly youre ugly. Simple

Ugly is what people say, rather than how they look.

ok ill put it another way. So peoples physical appearance is more desirable than others. No denying that

You forget that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.....

So if I think I'm hot as fuck everyone else will too?"

It could work......

Give it a go.

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By *ustme6Man
over a year ago

tamworth

I'm sure many women and couples get a kick from having their inboxes swamped. .not sure many would genuinely not want guys to mail them....

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By *ustme6Man
over a year ago

tamworth

"I'm sure many women and couples get a kick from having their inboxes swamped. .not sure many would genuinely not want guys to mail them....

I know I get flattered but it's a pain those daily bulk deletes lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My best friend was on here as a single before meeting his other half, I won't mention his profile because they now have a couples profile on here.

He met well over a hundred single women and couples and never sent the first message. That's a fact.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Lol if youre ugly youre ugly. Simple

Ugly is what people say, rather than how they look. ok ill put it another way. So peoples physical appearance is more desirable than others. No denying that"

Well, but different people are looking for different things. Look at your body. Look at mine. I’m sure you get more interest than I do, but I still get interest. It’s a funny old world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol if youre ugly youre ugly. Simple

Ugly is what people say, rather than how they look.

ok ill put it another way. So peoples physical appearance is more desirable than others. No denying that

You forget that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.....

So if I think I'm hot as fuck everyone else will too?"

I’m ugly and I know it

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By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"My best friend was on here as a single before meeting his other half, I won't mention his profile because they now have a couples profile on here.

He met well over a hundred single women and couples and never sent the first message. That's a fact."

Cheffys single profile was successful to, he'd met loads of people and rarely messaged first.

And he was openly married and cheating.

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By *edoriartyCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

"My best friend was on here as a single before meeting his other half, I won't mention his profile because they now have a couples profile on here.

He met well over a hundred single women and couples and never sent the first message. That's a fact."

I believe that as when I was meeting as a single I did fine and rarely sent a first message. There's better ways to get noticed on here than wasting time sending messages that often don't get read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use the filters lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a message once.

Honest.

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