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Wrong men choice :(

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

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By *ig Chris75Man
over a year ago

Cheshire

I think tastes do change - and experiences (good and bad) can change those tastes too.

That's no bad thing - perhaps try and not quite buffed ex rugby playing guy from Cheshire one time... he might be worth it...? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are getting old... So, come on FAF?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel "

Yes I get that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old "

You want to keep getting let down you carry on. Looks aren't everything

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You are getting old... So, come on FAF? "

Pfft I’m a lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it looks or is it just bad luck that you’ve experienced??

I don’t have a set type anymore...I’m finding it’s everything that attracts these days... can they hold a conversation and chat and make me laugh... do they mentally stimulate me not just physically! I guess it’s different for everyone!

Good luck on your search! X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

You want to keep getting let down you carry on. Looks aren't everything"

I totally get that. Hence why I tried to explain. Personality is such a big thing ALSO!! But attraction also needs to be there initially

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The initial is always looks which is sad. This is why you need to connect on every level.

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

More picky you get longer your single!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"More picky you get longer your single!"

Hmmm not totally true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you. It’s very dis heartening at times , I’ve tried men men not my type, men my type, all sorts. I do think that some people must have a certain aura that gives off negative vibes maybe ? I’ve been single 2.5 yrs now and struggle x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel "

That's not gender specific.

I'm not looking for anyone but generally I take to people with a younger outlook. It's easier to start to become a miserable old scrote when you get to the age I'm at.

I don't claim to be holier than thou and I do occasionally have to tell myself to stop getting worked about something that doesn't really matter too much.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me. "

I don’t want or need the full package as I said, I’ve realised it’s more than skin deep. Yet when I’ve dated men that aren’t my “usual” as suck. The same thing happens. Radio silence after a week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you. It’s very dis heartening at times , I’ve tried men men not my type, men my type, all sorts. I do think that some people must have a certain aura that gives off negative vibes maybe ? I’ve been single 2.5 yrs now and struggle x"

That’s nothing in single terms. Time goes quickly

I recommend socialising with guys who you wouldn’t normally go for. Obviously make sure there’s some sort of attraction there. Or have you done this?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I don’t want or need the full package as I said, I’ve realised it’s more than skin deep. Yet when I’ve dated men that aren’t my “usual” as suck. The same thing happens. Radio silence after a week "

*such

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

You want to keep getting let down you carry on. Looks aren't everything

I totally get that. Hence why I tried to explain. Personality is such a big thing ALSO!! But attraction also needs to be there initially "

Are you qualified to say that as you've never given personality the chance?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thank you. It’s very dis heartening at times , I’ve tried men men not my type, men my type, all sorts. I do think that some people must have a certain aura that gives off negative vibes maybe ? I’ve been single 2.5 yrs now and struggle x

That’s nothing in single terms. Time goes quickly

I recommend socialising with guys who you wouldn’t normally go for. Obviously make sure there’s some sort of attraction there. Or have you done this?"

I don’t socialise as such. All my friends (majority) are dating or married. I go out about once a month if that even. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me. "

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Yes I get that "

I agree with you - men my age or even slightly older come across as MUCH OLDER than I am in both out look on life and personality.... which is why I prefer younger

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

You want to keep getting let down you carry on. Looks aren't everything

I totally get that. Hence why I tried to explain. Personality is such a big thing ALSO!! But attraction also needs to be there initially

Are you qualified to say that as you've never given personality the chance?"

Yes I have. ! But it’s hard. I find bob down the road really interesting but I’m not attracted to him in any way shape or form and lifestyle wise we’re not comparable!! If you get my jist?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that. "

I'm one of the worst looking guys on Fab but I do alright

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old "
your right there have fun

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that.

I'm one of the worst looking guys on Fab but I do alright "

Good for you!! Your missing my point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you. It’s very dis heartening at times , I’ve tried men men not my type, men my type, all sorts. I do think that some people must have a certain aura that gives off negative vibes maybe ? I’ve been single 2.5 yrs now and struggle x

That’s nothing in single terms. Time goes quickly

I recommend socialising with guys who you wouldn’t normally go for. Obviously make sure there’s some sort of attraction there. Or have you done this?

I don’t socialise as such. All my friends (majority) are dating or married. I go out about once a month if that even. X"

It’s hard, I know! How about using the forums, going to some socials in your local area and meet some new people

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that. "

They need to make me laugh too!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that.

They need to make me laugh too! "

I love a goofball

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that.

I'm one of the worst looking guys on Fab but I do alright

Good for you!! Your missing my point. "

Am I? Are you not saying that us ugly guys aren't worth going there with..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that.

I'm one of the worst looking guys on Fab but I do alright "

no your not i am HEHE

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thank you. It’s very dis heartening at times , I’ve tried men men not my type, men my type, all sorts. I do think that some people must have a certain aura that gives off negative vibes maybe ? I’ve been single 2.5 yrs now and struggle x

That’s nothing in single terms. Time goes quickly

I recommend socialising with guys who you wouldn’t normally go for. Obviously make sure there’s some sort of attraction there. Or have you done this?

I do need to start making more of an effort, (hence my vanilla profile ) but hey as everyone tells me stop trying!! Yeah like Mr rights going to rock up in aisle 2 of Asda or the Esso when filling up! Prince Charming , pffft

I don’t socialise as such. All my friends (majority) are dating or married. I go out about once a month if that even. X

It’s hard, I know! How about using the forums, going to some socials in your local area and meet some new people "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that.

They need to make me laugh too!

I love a goofball "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that.

I'm one of the worst looking guys on Fab but I do alright

Good for you!! Your missing my point.

Am I? Are you not saying that us ugly guys aren't worth going there with.."

Tell me where I’ve said that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that.

I'm one of the worst looking guys on Fab but I do alright

Good for you!! Your missing my point.

Am I? Are you not saying that us ugly guys aren't worth going there with.."

I don’t think the OP has said that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that.

I'm one of the worst looking guys on Fab but I do alright

Good for you!! Your missing my point.

Am I? Are you not saying that us ugly guys aren't worth going there with..

I don’t think the OP has said that. "

I really didn’t. Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that.

I'm one of the worst looking guys on Fab but I do alright

Good for you!! Your missing my point.

Am I? Are you not saying that us ugly guys aren't worth going there with..

I don’t think the OP has said that. "

Maybe I got it wrong. Us uglies tend to do that

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that.

I'm one of the worst looking guys on Fab but I do alright

Good for you!! Your missing my point.

Am I? Are you not saying that us ugly guys aren't worth going there with..

I don’t think the OP has said that.

Maybe I got it wrong. Us uglies tend to do that"

Hey dude chill!! I was totally just ranting on my personal life , nothing personal. I’m far from perfect or body perfect. I’m a size 14/16 and have body issues! Please don’t judge.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that.

I'm one of the worst looking guys on Fab but I do alright

Good for you!! Your missing my point.

Am I? Are you not saying that us ugly guys aren't worth going there with..

I don’t think the OP has said that.

Maybe I got it wrong. Us uglies tend to do that"

I can’t comment about your face as can only see good teeth.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that.

I'm one of the worst looking guys on Fab but I do alright

Good for you!! Your missing my point.

Am I? Are you not saying that us ugly guys aren't worth going there with..

I don’t think the OP has said that.

Maybe I got it wrong. Us uglies tend to do that

I can’t comment about your face as can only see good teeth. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish my tastes would hurry up and change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got to have some sort of physical attraction first. If they're not like what I'd consider my ideal woman but there's still an attraction there and their personality is great then it does make them more attractive. You need both. Don't sweat it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

You want to keep getting let down you carry on. Looks aren't everything"

You're forgetting though, good looks are subjective. What the OP finds attractive, i may not.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The initial is always looks which is sad. This is why you need to connect on every level. "

It's not sad. Attraction is down to the individual.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

You want to keep getting let down you carry on. Looks aren't everything"

True enough and there really is also no such thing as the "perfect" man OR woman. Each and every single one of us have our faults however small they may be ... X

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"More picky you get longer your single!"

Better to be single than settle.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Got to have some sort of physical attraction first. If they're not like what I'd consider my ideal woman but there's still an attraction there and their personality is great then it does make them more attractive. You need both. Don't sweat it. "

I’m very attracted to personality but yes there has to be initial attraction yet that can go opposite, I’ve met men that are very very beautiful but total arses and vice versa. But on here or a dating site it’s very hard to judge if you get me.

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By *riefcase_WankerMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes


"If I thought about my ideal guy, it’d be very different from the guys I’ve actually dated. That initial attraction is there, which doesn’t need to be the full package for me.

I’m the same as you. Guys I’ve dated are very different to my ideal man. I need to be stimulated mind wise first so looks play only a little of that.

I'm one of the worst looking guys on Fab but I do alright

Good for you!! Your missing my point.

Am I? Are you not saying that us ugly guys aren't worth going there with..

I don’t think the OP has said that.

Maybe I got it wrong. Us uglies tend to do that

Hey dude chill!! I was totally just ranting on my personal life , nothing personal. I’m far from perfect or body perfect. I’m a size 14/16 and have body issues! Please don’t judge. "

You don't seem to have any body issues from where I'm looking...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"More picky you get longer your single!"

A good reason for filters ladies!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"More picky you get longer your single!

Better to be single than settle."

Hell yes! Amen to that

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

Guy slapped by a couple of ugly sticks right here....

Attraction can be a funny thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

That's not gender specific.

I'm not looking for anyone but generally I take to people with a younger outlook. It's easier to start to become a miserable old scrote when you get to the age I'm at.

I don't claim to be holier than thou and I do occasionally have to tell myself to stop getting worked about something that doesn't really matter too much. "

I didn't claim it to be gender specific. I didn't claim it to be factual either . I am aging - better than some and worse than others - i simply "feel" men my age look older

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Got to have some sort of physical attraction first. If they're not like what I'd consider my ideal woman but there's still an attraction there and their personality is great then it does make them more attractive. You need both. Don't sweat it.

I’m very attracted to personality but yes there has to be initial attraction yet that can go opposite, I’ve met men that are very very beautiful but total arses and vice versa. But on here or a dating site it’s very hard to judge if you get me. "

Beautiful people on average have not had to develop much of a personality due to their looks. It's actually staggering the influence being objectively pretty has. I actually find most of them to be very boring. Not much substance there. There is a minority that have both but they're usually taken

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

That's not gender specific.

I'm not looking for anyone but generally I take to people with a younger outlook. It's easier to start to become a miserable old scrote when you get to the age I'm at.

I don't claim to be holier than thou and I do occasionally have to tell myself to stop getting worked about something that doesn't really matter too much.

I didn't claim it to be gender specific. I didn't claim it to be factual either . I am aging - better than some and worse than others - i simply "feel" men my age look older "

Just wait til you get to my age! !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Got to have some sort of physical attraction first. If they're not like what I'd consider my ideal woman but there's still an attraction there and their personality is great then it does make them more attractive. You need both. Don't sweat it.

I’m very attracted to personality but yes there has to be initial attraction yet that can go opposite, I’ve met men that are very very beautiful but total arses and vice versa. But on here or a dating site it’s very hard to judge if you get me.

Beautiful people on average have not had to develop much of a personality due to their looks. It's actually staggering the influence being objectively pretty has. I actually find most of them to be very boring. Not much substance there. There is a minority that have both but they're usually taken "

I’m very very grounded. I’m non materialistic, I look beyond materialistic needs. Yet still going beyond my initial attraction I struggle to get past a first date, that was what I was trying to explain in my OP!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

You want to keep getting let down you carry on. Looks aren't everything

You're forgetting though, good looks are subjective. What the OP finds attractive, i may not."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

That's not gender specific.

I'm not looking for anyone but generally I take to people with a younger outlook. It's easier to start to become a miserable old scrote when you get to the age I'm at.

I don't claim to be holier than thou and I do occasionally have to tell myself to stop getting worked about something that doesn't really matter too much.

I didn't claim it to be gender specific. I didn't claim it to be factual either . I am aging - better than some and worse than others - i simply "feel" men my age look older

Just wait til you get to my age! ! "

I'd probably still want men in their early to mid-forties

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Got to have some sort of physical attraction first. If they're not like what I'd consider my ideal woman but there's still an attraction there and their personality is great then it does make them more attractive. You need both. Don't sweat it.

I’m very attracted to personality but yes there has to be initial attraction yet that can go opposite, I’ve met men that are very very beautiful but total arses and vice versa. But on here or a dating site it’s very hard to judge if you get me.

Beautiful people on average have not had to develop much of a personality due to their looks. It's actually staggering the influence being objectively pretty has. I actually find most of them to be very boring. Not much substance there. There is a minority that have both but they're usually taken "

I’m just glad I’m average looking as I would hate to have a shit personality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

That's not gender specific.

I'm not looking for anyone but generally I take to people with a younger outlook. It's easier to start to become a miserable old scrote when you get to the age I'm at.

I don't claim to be holier than thou and I do occasionally have to tell myself to stop getting worked about something that doesn't really matter too much.

I didn't claim it to be gender specific. I didn't claim it to be factual either . I am aging - better than some and worse than others - i simply "feel" men my age look older "

Actually agree with that statement NV, and I'm 2 years older than you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

That's not gender specific.

I'm not looking for anyone but generally I take to people with a younger outlook. It's easier to start to become a miserable old scrote when you get to the age I'm at.

I don't claim to be holier than thou and I do occasionally have to tell myself to stop getting worked about something that doesn't really matter too much.

I didn't claim it to be gender specific. I didn't claim it to be factual either . I am aging - better than some and worse than others - i simply "feel" men my age look older

Actually agree with that statement NV, and I'm 2 years older than you..."

I was recently 50, don't tell anyone

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Got to have some sort of physical attraction first. If they're not like what I'd consider my ideal woman but there's still an attraction there and their personality is great then it does make them more attractive. You need both. Don't sweat it.

I’m very attracted to personality but yes there has to be initial attraction yet that can go opposite, I’ve met men that are very very beautiful but total arses and vice versa. But on here or a dating site it’s very hard to judge if you get me.

Beautiful people on average have not had to develop much of a personality due to their looks. It's actually staggering the influence being objectively pretty has. I actually find most of them to be very boring. Not much substance there. There is a minority that have both but they're usually taken

I’m just glad I’m average looking as I would hate to have a shit personality "

I’m with you on that. I make people laugh and smile each day, my personality is above and beyond my aesthetic looks. Yet I still like to take care of myself if you get me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Got to have some sort of physical attraction first. If they're not like what I'd consider my ideal woman but there's still an attraction there and their personality is great then it does make them more attractive. You need both. Don't sweat it.

I’m very attracted to personality but yes there has to be initial attraction yet that can go opposite, I’ve met men that are very very beautiful but total arses and vice versa. But on here or a dating site it’s very hard to judge if you get me.

Beautiful people on average have not had to develop much of a personality due to their looks. It's actually staggering the influence being objectively pretty has. I actually find most of them to be very boring. Not much substance there. There is a minority that have both but they're usually taken

I’m just glad I’m average looking as I would hate to have a shit personality "

High five that girl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Got to have some sort of physical attraction first. If they're not like what I'd consider my ideal woman but there's still an attraction there and their personality is great then it does make them more attractive. You need both. Don't sweat it.

I’m very attracted to personality but yes there has to be initial attraction yet that can go opposite, I’ve met men that are very very beautiful but total arses and vice versa. But on here or a dating site it’s very hard to judge if you get me.

Beautiful people on average have not had to develop much of a personality due to their looks. It's actually staggering the influence being objectively pretty has. I actually find most of them to be very boring. Not much substance there. There is a minority that have both but they're usually taken

I’m very very grounded. I’m non materialistic, I look beyond materialistic needs. Yet still going beyond my initial attraction I struggle to get past a first date, that was what I was trying to explain in my OP! "

It was more to one of your replies saying you've met attractive guys who are narcissistic or up themselves or don't have much to offer personality wise. Tbh as well it's rare most dates go further than one or two. Finding someone you are attracted to who's also attracted to you and who's personality you like isn't easy. You just have to kind of luck in to it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

That's not gender specific.

I'm not looking for anyone but generally I take to people with a younger outlook. It's easier to start to become a miserable old scrote when you get to the age I'm at.

I don't claim to be holier than thou and I do occasionally have to tell myself to stop getting worked about something that doesn't really matter too much.

I didn't claim it to be gender specific. I didn't claim it to be factual either . I am aging - better than some and worse than others - i simply "feel" men my age look older

Actually agree with that statement NV, and I'm 2 years older than you...

I was recently 50, don't tell anyone "

Same age then, must be a 50 thing

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Got to have some sort of physical attraction first. If they're not like what I'd consider my ideal woman but there's still an attraction there and their personality is great then it does make them more attractive. You need both. Don't sweat it.

I’m very attracted to personality but yes there has to be initial attraction yet that can go opposite, I’ve met men that are very very beautiful but total arses and vice versa. But on here or a dating site it’s very hard to judge if you get me.

Beautiful people on average have not had to develop much of a personality due to their looks. It's actually staggering the influence being objectively pretty has. I actually find most of them to be very boring. Not much substance there. There is a minority that have both but they're usually taken

I’m very very grounded. I’m non materialistic, I look beyond materialistic needs. Yet still going beyond my initial attraction I struggle to get past a first date, that was what I was trying to explain in my OP!

It was more to one of your replies saying you've met attractive guys who are narcissistic or up themselves or don't have much to offer personality wise. Tbh as well it's rare most dates go further than one or two. Finding someone you are attracted to who's also attracted to you and who's personality you like isn't easy. You just have to kind of luck in to it. "

I’m sorry you’ve interpreted my posts wrong. Written words do have a tendency to lack in emotion or facial expression,x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction

"

Its like jelly... its seems all set at one point and then somehow goes all wobbly without yu expecting it - lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

You want to keep getting let down you carry on. Looks aren't everything

I totally get that. Hence why I tried to explain. Personality is such a big thing ALSO!! But attraction also needs to be there initially "

I would generally say i need to have a physical attraction at first however do also believe that a great personality can also be very and just as attractive. So would always say there is never no harm in having a social and seeing where that goes maybe if good conversation has been had.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction"

In the virtual world, in my vast experience , looks we are attracted to = opens the door. Then both people share facets of their personality to assess compatibility. In real life, looks maybe meh, but time and personality can increase those looks - make the person appear more attractive.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Got to have some sort of physical attraction first. If they're not like what I'd consider my ideal woman but there's still an attraction there and their personality is great then it does make them more attractive. You need both. Don't sweat it.

I’m very attracted to personality but yes there has to be initial attraction yet that can go opposite, I’ve met men that are very very beautiful but total arses and vice versa. But on here or a dating site it’s very hard to judge if you get me.

Beautiful people on average have not had to develop much of a personality due to their looks. It's actually staggering the influence being objectively pretty has. I actually find most of them to be very boring. Not much substance there. There is a minority that have both but they're usually taken

I’m very very grounded. I’m non materialistic, I look beyond materialistic needs. Yet still going beyond my initial attraction I struggle to get past a first date, that was what I was trying to explain in my OP!

It was more to one of your replies saying you've met attractive guys who are narcissistic or up themselves or don't have much to offer personality wise. Tbh as well it's rare most dates go further than one or two. Finding someone you are attracted to who's also attracted to you and who's personality you like isn't easy. You just have to kind of luck in to it.

I’m sorry you’ve interpreted my posts wrong. Written words do have a tendency to lack in emotion or facial expression,x"

Or you haven't explained what you meant well I think I get you're saying you have a type that you're physically attracted to and anyone you try to meet who isn't that type tends not to go anywhere. There's nothing wrong with that. But the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Got to have some sort of physical attraction first. If they're not like what I'd consider my ideal woman but there's still an attraction there and their personality is great then it does make them more attractive. You need both. Don't sweat it.

I’m very attracted to personality but yes there has to be initial attraction yet that can go opposite, I’ve met men that are very very beautiful but total arses and vice versa. But on here or a dating site it’s very hard to judge if you get me.

Beautiful people on average have not had to develop much of a personality due to their looks. It's actually staggering the influence being objectively pretty has. I actually find most of them to be very boring. Not much substance there. There is a minority that have both but they're usually taken

I’m very very grounded. I’m non materialistic, I look beyond materialistic needs. Yet still going beyond my initial attraction I struggle to get past a first date, that was what I was trying to explain in my OP!

It was more to one of your replies saying you've met attractive guys who are narcissistic or up themselves or don't have much to offer personality wise. Tbh as well it's rare most dates go further than one or two. Finding someone you are attracted to who's also attracted to you and who's personality you like isn't easy. You just have to kind of luck in to it.

I’m sorry you’ve interpreted my posts wrong. Written words do have a tendency to lack in emotion or facial expression,x

Or you haven't explained what you meant well I think I get you're saying you have a type that you're physically attracted to and anyone you try to meet who isn't that type tends not to go anywhere. There's nothing wrong with that. But the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result"

But then there is the human variable (blows raspberry)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction

In the virtual world, in my vast experience , looks we are attracted to = opens the door. Then both people share facets of their personality to assess compatibility. In real life, looks maybe meh, but time and personality can increase those looks - make the person appear more attractive."

I think I’m going to be one of them mad aunties that has cats and is eccentric

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Got to have some sort of physical attraction first. If they're not like what I'd consider my ideal woman but there's still an attraction there and their personality is great then it does make them more attractive. You need both. Don't sweat it.

I’m very attracted to personality but yes there has to be initial attraction yet that can go opposite, I’ve met men that are very very beautiful but total arses and vice versa. But on here or a dating site it’s very hard to judge if you get me.

Beautiful people on average have not had to develop much of a personality due to their looks. It's actually staggering the influence being objectively pretty has. I actually find most of them to be very boring. Not much substance there. There is a minority that have both but they're usually taken

I’m just glad I’m average looking as I would hate to have a shit personality

I’m with you on that. I make people laugh and smile each day, my personality is above and beyond my aesthetic looks. Yet I still like to take care of myself if you get me x"

Oh so do I

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction

In the virtual world, in my vast experience , looks we are attracted to = opens the door. Then both people share facets of their personality to assess compatibility. In real life, looks maybe meh, but time and personality can increase those looks - make the person appear more attractive.

I think I’m going to be one of them mad aunties that has cats and is eccentric "

I already am that, minus the cats.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im sure there are plenty of men looking for the same as you - minus the mad auntie bit

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction

In the virtual world, in my vast experience , looks we are attracted to = opens the door. Then both people share facets of their personality to assess compatibility. In real life, looks maybe meh, but time and personality can increase those looks - make the person appear more attractive.

I think I’m going to be one of them mad aunties that has cats and is eccentric

I already am that, minus the cats. "

Oh god cats are addictive

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction

In the virtual world, in my vast experience , looks we are attracted to = opens the door. Then both people share facets of their personality to assess compatibility. In real life, looks maybe meh, but time and personality can increase those looks - make the person appear more attractive.

I think I’m going to be one of them mad aunties that has cats and is eccentric

I already am that, minus the cats.

Oh god cats are addictive "

resist the obvious pussy gag.... lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction

In the virtual world, in my vast experience , looks we are attracted to = opens the door. Then both people share facets of their personality to assess compatibility. In real life, looks maybe meh, but time and personality can increase those looks - make the person appear more attractive.

I think I’m going to be one of them mad aunties that has cats and is eccentric "

Being mad is totally normal

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Im sure there are plenty of men looking for the same as you - minus the mad auntie bit "

Please show me , to be fair I think I’m trying to hard. I’ve been single 2.5 years now

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think that a relationship without physical attraction wouldn't work for me and many others. But friendships with people that you become more attracted to over time can work as good relationships.

If I knew that I only had one option or way of choosing someone that was always a fatal mistake and doomed, however we worked at the relationship I would stay single. I won't get into a superficially good relationship if it's wrong - I'd prefer to be sad and lonely, if those were the 2 choices.

Consider making connections with people where you are doing lots of things together and where it's less about physical attraction and more about getting on with others, relating and picking up on how others are when they aren't flirting and you're less focused on the physical. Do voluntary work and find the care that others give out. Be around givers and softer, warmer people.

Ultimately it will be about decisions - what you forbid yourself to do, who you will and won't engage with and a lot more. We have to want something enough and allow it the space to happen - it can't whilst we are not open to it or chasing Mr wrong imo.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction

In the virtual world, in my vast experience , looks we are attracted to = opens the door. Then both people share facets of their personality to assess compatibility. In real life, looks maybe meh, but time and personality can increase those looks - make the person appear more attractive.

I think I’m going to be one of them mad aunties that has cats and is eccentric

I already am that, minus the cats.

Oh god cats are addictive

resist the obvious pussy gag.... lol"

furball

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im sure there are plenty of men looking for the same as you - minus the mad auntie bit

Please show me , to be fair I think I’m trying to hard. I’ve been single 2.5 years now "

my door is open xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction

In the virtual world, in my vast experience , looks we are attracted to = opens the door. Then both people share facets of their personality to assess compatibility. In real life, looks maybe meh, but time and personality can increase those looks - make the person appear more attractive.

I think I’m going to be one of them mad aunties that has cats and is eccentric

Being mad is totally normal "

Yes but is collecting cats? I have two now , one called Pablo and a kitten called Piccaso

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im sure there are plenty of men looking for the same as you - minus the mad auntie bit

Please show me , to be fair I think I’m trying to hard. I’ve been single 2.5 years now "

Ffs woman that's nothing. Try 9 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction

In the virtual world, in my vast experience , looks we are attracted to = opens the door. Then both people share facets of their personality to assess compatibility. In real life, looks maybe meh, but time and personality can increase those looks - make the person appear more attractive.

I think I’m going to be one of them mad aunties that has cats and is eccentric

I already am that, minus the cats.

Oh god cats are addictive "

I’m happy to see my neighbours cats once in a while. More a dog person.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction

In the virtual world, in my vast experience , looks we are attracted to = opens the door. Then both people share facets of their personality to assess compatibility. In real life, looks maybe meh, but time and personality can increase those looks - make the person appear more attractive.

I think I’m going to be one of them mad aunties that has cats and is eccentric

Being mad is totally normal

Yes but is collecting cats? I have two now , one called Pablo and a kitten called Piccaso "

not sure on the mad... maybe when you collect 12 then yes...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mother always told me

Your looks are your invitation to the party,

Your personality will get women to dance.

You’re going through the age of internet dating.

People tend to have one or two great dates and they are off to see if something better comes along.

Don’t compromise your attractiveness standards and settle.

Just ride out the storm and someone will catch your eye and you will be happy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Im sure there are plenty of men looking for the same as you - minus the mad auntie bit

Please show me , to be fair I think I’m trying to hard. I’ve been single 2.5 years now

Ffs woman that's nothing. Try 9 years "

It’s hard isn’t it? Don’t get me wrong I love my own space my own time etc. Yet I do want company occasionally, yet it’s hard x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction

In the virtual world, in my vast experience , looks we are attracted to = opens the door. Then both people share facets of their personality to assess compatibility. In real life, looks maybe meh, but time and personality can increase those looks - make the person appear more attractive.

I think I’m going to be one of them mad aunties that has cats and is eccentric

Being mad is totally normal

Yes but is collecting cats? I have two now , one called Pablo and a kitten called Piccaso

not sure on the mad... maybe when you collect 12 then yes..."

Oh god don’t say that !

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you deciding on men online? Picking pictures of hunky good looking guys? If so you're missing out on a lot of guys who are much better looking in person than they are in photos.

I had a date with a woman today who I thought "hmm I don't know" But she had a nice smile in one of her pictures. The minute she walked in the room the place lit up. I quickly realised she was very attractive and very attracted to me. Soon we were kissing. Later she laughed. She explained that she had seen my profile and thought "hmm I don't know" It was cute that she said that.

The moral of the story? Try to give people a chance rather than just their photos

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My mother always told me

Your looks are your invitation to the party,

Your personality will get women to dance.

You’re going through the age of internet dating.

People tend to have one or two great dates and they are off to see if something better comes along.

Don’t compromise your attractiveness standards and settle.

Just ride out the storm and someone will catch your eye and you will be happy."

Very true! But sometimes it’s hard and you want to join everyone else with their lives, bbqs, holidays, yet your stuck on your own ;(

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are you deciding on men online? Picking pictures of hunky good looking guys? If so you're missing out on a lot of guys who are much better looking in person than they are in photos.

I had a date with a woman today who I thought "hmm I don't know" But she had a nice smile in one of her pictures. The minute she walked in the room the place lit up. I quickly realised she was very attractive and very attracted to me. Soon we were kissing. Later she laughed. She explained that she had seen my profile and thought "hmm I don't know" It was cute that she said that.

The moral of the story? Try to give people a chance rather than just their photos "

Read my replies again. X

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My mother always told me

Your looks are your invitation to the party,

Your personality will get women to dance.

You’re going through the age of internet dating.

People tend to have one or two great dates and they are off to see if something better comes along.

Don’t compromise your attractiveness standards and settle.

Just ride out the storm and someone will catch your eye and you will be happy."

I like your mum

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No matter how nice a personality is, if I don't feel attracted to the face I'm not getting involved.

People can grow on me but I need some facial attraction.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old "

The clue us in the title of your post...choice.

You seem to be saying that you either choose good looking gobshites or nicer guys that you then feel no attraction for.

You need to ask yourself why?

There are good looking nice guys out there so why do you repeatedly either go for emotionally unavailable guys or "safe" guys that you can push away as you don't find them attractive?

If we keep repeating patterns then don't be suprised when we keep getting the same old.

Attractive and nice aren't mutually exclusive...you seem to be stuck in the rut of thinking it's either or.

Why do you think that might be?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if were honest, we are initially attracted physically but it can only get so far on looks.

Looks are a massive plus, but maybe just not everything as we (me!) get older...

i agree its hard to say exactly what i finally want after the initial attraction

In the virtual world, in my vast experience , looks we are attracted to = opens the door. Then both people share facets of their personality to assess compatibility. In real life, looks maybe meh, but time and personality can increase those looks - make the person appear more attractive.

I think I’m going to be one of them mad aunties that has cats and is eccentric

Being mad is totally normal

Yes but is collecting cats? I have two now , one called Pablo and a kitten called Piccaso

not sure on the mad... maybe when you collect 12 then yes...

Oh god don’t say that ! "

I can safely say that given all you have said Im willing to save you from a life of cats. I agree with all you have said and lets roll that dice !

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok so I met a guy on plenty of *ish and he wasn’t my usual but we chatted for about a week then agreed to meet. Great date was fine, didn’t have sex (obvs) then after being really keen he’s gone silent. And date before him was exactly the same !! Only thing I can think that’s in common is they are younger (36) I’m 39 and both have very young baby’s (under 12 months) ?? I’m at a loss tbh

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

The clue us in the title of your post...choice.

You seem to be saying that you either choose good looking gobshites or nicer guys that you then feel no attraction for.

You need to ask yourself why?

There are good looking nice guys out there so why do you repeatedly either go for emotionally unavailable guys or "safe" guys that you can push away as you don't find them attractive?

If we keep repeating patterns then don't be suprised when we keep getting the same old.

Attractive and nice aren't mutually exclusive...you seem to be stuck in the rut of thinking it's either or.

Why do you think that might be?

"

I don’t know. I do agree with you to a certain degree, hmmmm x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok so I met a guy on plenty of *ish and he wasn’t my usual but we chatted for about a week then agreed to meet. Great date was fine, didn’t have sex (obvs) then after being really keen he’s gone silent. And date before him was exactly the same !! Only thing I can think that’s in common is they are younger (36) I’m 39 and both have very young baby’s (under 12 months) ?? I’m at a loss tbh"

We’re they actually single. Plenty of married men on that app. So annoying x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ok so I met a guy on plenty of *ish and he wasn’t my usual but we chatted for about a week then agreed to meet. Great date was fine, didn’t have sex (obvs) then after being really keen he’s gone silent. And date before him was exactly the same !! Only thing I can think that’s in common is they are younger (36) I’m 39 and both have very young baby’s (under 12 months) ?? I’m at a loss tbh

We’re they actually single. Plenty of married men on that app. So annoying x"

I’d hope to think they weren’t! As they rang me vice versa (I’m usually good at detecting) but maybe I’m just cursed

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok so I met a guy on plenty of *ish and he wasn’t my usual but we chatted for about a week then agreed to meet. Great date was fine, didn’t have sex (obvs) then after being really keen he’s gone silent. And date before him was exactly the same !! Only thing I can think that’s in common is they are younger (36) I’m 39 and both have very young baby’s (under 12 months) ?? I’m at a loss tbh"

I think there are probably more men who are attached and looking for NSA in there than here!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

The clue us in the title of your post...choice.

You seem to be saying that you either choose good looking gobshites or nicer guys that you then feel no attraction for.

You need to ask yourself why?

There are good looking nice guys out there so why do you repeatedly either go for emotionally unavailable guys or "safe" guys that you can push away as you don't find them attractive?

If we keep repeating patterns then don't be suprised when we keep getting the same old.

Attractive and nice aren't mutually exclusive...you seem to be stuck in the rut of thinking it's either or.

Why do you think that might be?

"

I ask myself this every day !!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok so I met a guy on plenty of *ish and he wasn’t my usual but we chatted for about a week then agreed to meet. Great date was fine, didn’t have sex (obvs) then after being really keen he’s gone silent. And date before him was exactly the same !! Only thing I can think that’s in common is they are younger (36) I’m 39 and both have very young baby’s (under 12 months) ?? I’m at a loss tbh

We’re they actually single. Plenty of married men on that app. So annoying x

I’d hope to think they weren’t! As they rang me vice versa (I’m usually good at detecting) but maybe I’m just cursed "

I had a guy that FaceTimed me all the time. All times of the day. Late at night especially. Turned out he had a wife in bed and 3 daughters. Fuming I was.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ok so I met a guy on plenty of *ish and he wasn’t my usual but we chatted for about a week then agreed to meet. Great date was fine, didn’t have sex (obvs) then after being really keen he’s gone silent. And date before him was exactly the same !! Only thing I can think that’s in common is they are younger (36) I’m 39 and both have very young baby’s (under 12 months) ?? I’m at a loss tbh

I think there are probably more men who are attached and looking for NSA in there than here! "

I’m starting to find that out

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ok so I met a guy on plenty of *ish and he wasn’t my usual but we chatted for about a week then agreed to meet. Great date was fine, didn’t have sex (obvs) then after being really keen he’s gone silent. And date before him was exactly the same !! Only thing I can think that’s in common is they are younger (36) I’m 39 and both have very young baby’s (under 12 months) ?? I’m at a loss tbh

We’re they actually single. Plenty of married men on that app. So annoying x

I’d hope to think they weren’t! As they rang me vice versa (I’m usually good at detecting) but maybe I’m just cursed

I had a guy that FaceTimed me all the time. All times of the day. Late at night especially. Turned out he had a wife in bed and 3 daughters. Fuming I was. "

Don’t even go there!! I should know better.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

The clue us in the title of your post...choice.

You seem to be saying that you either choose good looking gobshites or nicer guys that you then feel no attraction for.

You need to ask yourself why?

There are good looking nice guys out there so why do you repeatedly either go for emotionally unavailable guys or "safe" guys that you can push away as you don't find them attractive?

If we keep repeating patterns then don't be suprised when we keep getting the same old.

Attractive and nice aren't mutually exclusive...you seem to be stuck in the rut of thinking it's either or.

Why do you think that might be?

I ask myself this every day !!"

Only you know the answer to that one chickadee.

It could be that it's easier to stick with the familiar (even if it's shit) than go out into scary unchartered waters..(been there, done that!)

It could be that you think shit is all you deserve.

It could be that you don't actually want a relationship as that would be scary too..you'd have to make yourself vulnerable and yes that is fucking scary.

Only you can answer that x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

The clue us in the title of your post...choice.

You seem to be saying that you either choose good looking gobshites or nicer guys that you then feel no attraction for.

You need to ask yourself why?

There are good looking nice guys out there so why do you repeatedly either go for emotionally unavailable guys or "safe" guys that you can push away as you don't find them attractive?

If we keep repeating patterns then don't be suprised when we keep getting the same old.

Attractive and nice aren't mutually exclusive...you seem to be stuck in the rut of thinking it's either or.

Why do you think that might be?

I ask myself this every day !!

Only you know the answer to that one chickadee.

It could be that it's easier to stick with the familiar (even if it's shit) than go out into scary unchartered waters..(been there, done that!)

It could be that you think shit is all you deserve.

It could be that you don't actually want a relationship as that would be scary too..you'd have to make yourself vulnerable and yes that is fucking scary.

Only you can answer that x

"

I do but I’m very independent, plus I won’t lower my standards if you get me. I’m stronger now and realise I want a man in my life for the right reasons. It’s hard to explain, x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok so I met a guy on plenty of *ish and he wasn’t my usual but we chatted for about a week then agreed to meet. Great date was fine, didn’t have sex (obvs) then after being really keen he’s gone silent. And date before him was exactly the same !! Only thing I can think that’s in common is they are younger (36) I’m 39 and both have very young baby’s (under 12 months) ?? I’m at a loss tbh"

Maybe they sensed something wasn't quite right with you ie, you weren't that keen/interested in them.

Men have senses too, well some lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

The clue us in the title of your post...choice.

You seem to be saying that you either choose good looking gobshites or nicer guys that you then feel no attraction for.

You need to ask yourself why?

There are good looking nice guys out there so why do you repeatedly either go for emotionally unavailable guys or "safe" guys that you can push away as you don't find them attractive?

If we keep repeating patterns then don't be suprised when we keep getting the same old.

Attractive and nice aren't mutually exclusive...you seem to be stuck in the rut of thinking it's either or.

Why do you think that might be?

I ask myself this every day !!

Only you know the answer to that one chickadee.

It could be that it's easier to stick with the familiar (even if it's shit) than go out into scary unchartered waters..(been there, done that!)

It could be that you think shit is all you deserve.

It could be that you don't actually want a relationship as that would be scary too..you'd have to make yourself vulnerable and yes that is fucking scary.

Only you can answer that x

I do but I’m very independent, plus I won’t lower my standards if you get me. I’m stronger now and realise I want a man in my life for the right reasons. It’s hard to explain, x"

That's good. Once you know what you do want it's easier to identify and avoid what you dont x

Good luck.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ok so I met a guy on plenty of *ish and he wasn’t my usual but we chatted for about a week then agreed to meet. Great date was fine, didn’t have sex (obvs) then after being really keen he’s gone silent. And date before him was exactly the same !! Only thing I can think that’s in common is they are younger (36) I’m 39 and both have very young baby’s (under 12 months) ?? I’m at a loss tbh

Maybe they sensed something wasn't quite right with you ie, you weren't that keen/interested in them.

Men have senses too, well some lol"

Yes I get that totally agree. But I’m a firm believer in if a mans keen he will chase. I left it 5 days had no text! So I just text and said lovely meeting I’ll delete your number x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you good at socials op? You say you're having problems going beyond the first date. Do you have the same trouble moving beyond a social to play? It might help answer the conundrum

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are you good at socials op? You say you're having problems going beyond the first date. Do you have the same trouble moving beyond a social to play? It might help answer the conundrum "

I’m a social butterfly how dare you seriously I’m very chatty and confident (social) wise. I’m very grounded and happy in every aspect of my life , just my love life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m a firm believer in if a mans keen he will chase. I left it 5 days had no text! So I just text and said lovely meeting I’ll delete your number x"

I had a date with a lovely woman last week. Lovely sparkly person. We got on well and laughed but for some reason, when leaving, I didn't feel the compulsion to say "see you soon". And neither did she. I texted her after to say how much I enjoyed meeting her and she said thanks. After that nothing. I now have several other lovely women wanting to chat to me and I'm afraid I just decided she can't have been all that into me so I deleted her number from my phone.

Attractive men may not have women chasing after them in here. But they do out there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok so I met a guy on plenty of *ish and he wasn’t my usual but we chatted for about a week then agreed to meet. Great date was fine, didn’t have sex (obvs) then after being really keen he’s gone silent. And date before him was exactly the same !! Only thing I can think that’s in common is they are younger (36) I’m 39 and both have very young baby’s (under 12 months) ?? I’m at a loss tbh

Maybe they sensed something wasn't quite right with you ie, you weren't that keen/interested in them.

Men have senses too, well some lol

Yes I get that totally agree. But I’m a firm believer in if a mans keen he will chase. I left it 5 days had no text! So I just text and said lovely meeting I’ll delete your number x"

I have never chased a woman in my life , it would feel personally humiliating.

Any female that chased me in the past has frighten the life out of me. it didn't happen often but a few times lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you good at socials op? You say you're having problems going beyond the first date. Do you have the same trouble moving beyond a social to play? It might help answer the conundrum

I’m a social butterfly how dare you seriously I’m very chatty and confident (social) wise. I’m very grounded and happy in every aspect of my life , just my love life "

Haha What I'm fishing for is whether you're good at flirting and leading the situation onto the next level. As my post previous to this shows... if you leave them with a bit of a lacklustre feeling it can fail. I approach every date with the mindset that at the end I'm going to kiss them. I usually don't. But I go into it with a positive attitude to really flirt and give it my best shot. If I can I try to sit next to them on a sofa, give off fun smiley relaxed vibes, and if she starts "accidentally" touching my leg, as my date today did, I wait for a moment where there's a nice pause, say something nice about her, and then move in for a kiss. What taught me how to be this bold and forthright in my advances? Swinging socials

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m a firm believer in if a mans keen he will chase. I left it 5 days had no text! So I just text and said lovely meeting I’ll delete your number x

I had a date with a lovely woman last week. Lovely sparkly person. We got on well and laughed but for some reason, when leaving, I didn't feel the compulsion to say "see you soon". And neither did she. I texted her after to say how much I enjoyed meeting her and she said thanks. After that nothing. I now have several other lovely women wanting to chat to me and I'm afraid I just decided she can't have been all that into me so I deleted her number from my phone.

Attractive men may not have women chasing after them in here. But they do out there "

So exactly what I said !!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are you good at socials op? You say you're having problems going beyond the first date. Do you have the same trouble moving beyond a social to play? It might help answer the conundrum

I’m a social butterfly how dare you seriously I’m very chatty and confident (social) wise. I’m very grounded and happy in every aspect of my life , just my love life

Haha What I'm fishing for is whether you're good at flirting and leading the situation onto the next level. As my post previous to this shows... if you leave them with a bit of a lacklustre feeling it can fail. I approach every date with the mindset that at the end I'm going to kiss them. I usually don't. But I go into it with a positive attitude to really flirt and give it my best shot. If I can I try to sit next to them on a sofa, give off fun smiley relaxed vibes, and if she starts "accidentally" touching my leg, as my date today did, I wait for a moment where there's a nice pause, say something nice about her, and then move in for a kiss. What taught me how to be this bold and forthright in my advances? Swinging socials "

Believe me I’m good at flirting! In fact I’m a tease to a certain extent. I’m not a prude (far from) I’m not soft silly or daft. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So exactly what I said !!"

Sorry op This is a long thread and I tried to scan it to get what you're saying. I must still be missing it. I thought you were expecting the men to chase you. If they're relatively good looking you'll need to be more proactive. If they're not... well they may need you to be totally clear still with them.

I always take a moment in a good date to either say "I really like you" or kiss them. The one tends to lead to the other. It totally clarifies in their mind how I feel. Crystal clear. If txts after that dry up... they simply didn't feel the same way. Move on.

Why do I get the sense that I'm once again repeating something that's been said further up the thread

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Have you considered swinging? You can have a great relationship with someone you are compatible with and then still fuck the attractive ones that you aren't.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are you good at socials op? You say you're having problems going beyond the first date. Do you have the same trouble moving beyond a social to play? It might help answer the conundrum

I’m a social butterfly how dare you seriously I’m very chatty and confident (social) wise. I’m very grounded and happy in every aspect of my life , just my love life

Haha What I'm fishing for is whether you're good at flirting and leading the situation onto the next level. As my post previous to this shows... if you leave them with a bit of a lacklustre feeling it can fail. I approach every date with the mindset that at the end I'm going to kiss them. I usually don't. But I go into it with a positive attitude to really flirt and give it my best shot. If I can I try to sit next to them on a sofa, give off fun smiley relaxed vibes, and if she starts "accidentally" touching my leg, as my date today did, I wait for a moment where there's a nice pause, say something nice about her, and then move in for a kiss. What taught me how to be this bold and forthright in my advances? Swinging socials "

You talk about me or my situation as in I can’t flirt or intitate mutual contact! Far from it. It’s not about my sexual ability or contact. It’s more about my vanilla dating situation!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So exactly what I said !!

Sorry op This is a long thread and I tried to scan it to get what you're saying. I must still be missing it. I thought you were expecting the men to chase you. If they're relatively good looking you'll need to be more proactive. If they're not... well they may need you to be totally clear still with them.

I always take a moment in a good date to either say "I really like you" or kiss them. The one tends to lead to the other. It totally clarifies in their mind how I feel. Crystal clear. If txts after that dry up... they simply didn't feel the same way. Move on.

Why do I get the sense that I'm once again repeating something that's been said further up the thread "

No I don’t expect them to chase me. Atall. I left it 5 days!! Before I text him. It has to work both ways

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have you considered swinging? You can have a great relationship with someone you are compatible with and then still fuck the attractive ones that you aren't. "

I would love that. That’s my ideal tbh x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Believe me I’m good at flirting! In fact I’m a tease to a certain extent. I’m not a prude (far from) I’m not soft silly or daft. X"

Cum ere n give me a big fat snog then I'm out of options. It's either just bad luck or all men are arse holes. I'll leave it up to you to pick which of those sits better with you

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Have you considered swinging? You can have a great relationship with someone you are compatible with and then still fuck the attractive ones that you aren't.

I would love that. That’s my ideal tbh x"

You do find guys on here looking for serious relationships... use the forum search and you'll see them

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Believe me I’m good at flirting! In fact I’m a tease to a certain extent. I’m not a prude (far from) I’m not soft silly or daft. X

Cum ere n give me a big fat snog then I'm out of options. It's either just bad luck or all men are arse holes. I'll leave it up to you to pick which of those sits better with you "

It’s comfy on this little fence

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have you considered swinging? You can have a great relationship with someone you are compatible with and then still fuck the attractive ones that you aren't.

I would love that. That’s my ideal tbh x

You do find guys on here looking for serious relationships... use the forum search and you'll see them"

Tbh I’ve tried on/off on here for 7 years and I’ve met more genuine people on here than vanilla dating sites !!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel "

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you considered swinging? You can have a great relationship with someone you are compatible with and then still fuck the attractive ones that you aren't.

I would love that. That’s my ideal tbh x"

That’s my goal.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird "

I didn’t say that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have hot friends who are also very lovely people. Come to Wales sweetie and ill introduce you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird "

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have hot friends who are also very lovely people. Come to Wales sweetie and ill introduce you "

Can we both come?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have hot friends who are also very lovely people. Come to Wales sweetie and ill introduce you

Can we both come? "

The more the merrier

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have hot friends who are also very lovely people. Come to Wales sweetie and ill introduce you "

Hello my lovely ?? we’ve said this before x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old "

I get it, because the person with those physical attributes will in turn do certain things that would make you like them more.

I.e. physical attribute large muscular calves.. you'll know that person is more likely going to spend time at the gym or long walks often. Which if your personality liked the great out doors then you're going to be more attracted to said person.

you've got to kiss a lot of frogs to find the one you want, no quick fixes.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have hot friends who are also very lovely people. Come to Wales sweetie and ill introduce you

Hello my lovely ?? we’ve said this before x"

Hello gorgeous. We have indeed. It's great to see you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I didn’t say that "

Meant re-joined, autocarrot got me...

But found I had little in common with those my age, I was very confused by this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature "

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

I get it, because the person with those physical attributes will in turn do certain things that would make you like them more.

I.e. physical attribute large muscular calves.. you'll know that person is more likely going to spend time at the gym or long walks often. Which if your personality liked the great out doors then you're going to be more attracted to said person.

you've got to kiss a lot of frogs to find the one you want, no quick fixes."

Do toads count

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing? "

It's more of a people liking younger people thing

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's physical, sexually and personality ....3 box's

...i want to be able to have that attraction to them, beauty in the eye of the builder....sexually they are above me, drain me, make me walk like john Wayne afterwards and finally in between breaks we can have a laugh.

Yes I know it's alot for a sex site but I love great sex....after ok sex i leave going easier to play with myself. Yes I'm picky but if I wanted a wham bam I would be picking a guy up on a night out. However I'm here for great sex so their it is my 3 boxes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have hot friends who are also very lovely people. Come to Wales sweetie and ill introduce you

Can we both come? "

Let’s arrange a road trip

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

So, are we saying that we find some people physically attractive, some people mentally attractive, and finding one with the right amount of each, who thinks the same about us, can be hard?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

It's more of a people liking younger people thing "

We should have an orgy for everyone our age who identifies more with people younger than us... wrap your head round that matrix

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So, are we saying that we find some people physically attractive, some people mentally attractive, and finding one with the right amount of each, who thinks the same about us, can be hard?"

Yeah dude!! It’s kinda easy when you say it in layman’s terms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First thing that attracts me is banter and ability to hold a conversation

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

It's more of a people liking younger people thing

We should have an orgy for everyone our age who identifies more with people younger than us... wrap your head round that matrix "

I would, but you're too old

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

It's more of a people liking younger people thing "

I’ve been like that since I was a teenager. When I was 15 I was hanging around with the boys the year below. I’ve only had one bf older at 18 and then always younger. When I was 21, I was dating 18 years olds. I married a guy 8 years younger and now the average is at least 10. It’s just me and who I connect with. I like music and fashion that is more 30 something that 40s. Guys my age rarely know the bands im into. I love gigs and festivals.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

It's more of a people liking younger people thing

We should have an orgy for everyone our age who identifies more with people younger than us... wrap your head round that matrix

I would, but you're too old "

I'm glad you said it first

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"First thing that attracts me is banter and ability to hold a conversation "

Second thing???

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So, are we saying that we find some people physically attractive, some people mentally attractive, and finding one with the right amount of each, who thinks the same about us, can be hard?"

Trust you to sum it up in 5 lines

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

It's more of a people liking younger people thing

We should have an orgy for everyone our age who identifies more with people younger than us... wrap your head round that matrix

I would, but you're too old

I'm glad you said it first "

I'm not too old. How very dare you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the longer you're single the more difficult it gets to be honest. Single over 6 years now and it's getting worse

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I find the longer you're single the more difficult it gets to be honest. Single over 6 years now and it's getting worse "

I find the opposite

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

It's more of a people liking younger people thing

We should have an orgy for everyone our age who identifies more with people younger than us... wrap your head round that matrix

I would, but you're too old "

He’s younger than me but still too old.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well why change what you like just maybe tweak it a little or just try something else for a change if you like it result if you dont then go back to what you were doing before

I’m guessing from what youve described what Men you go for but don’t want to state it as people will moan but most who are up themselves and sped all day on them self’s are like that

Oh and age is nothing I’ve been told by a lot of people I look 10 years younger than I am and also I’m a good looking lad for my age

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

It's more of a people liking younger people thing

We should have an orgy for everyone our age who identifies more with people younger than us... wrap your head round that matrix

I would, but you're too old

He’s younger than me but still too old. "

Oi stop picking on me you two grannies

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find the longer you're single the more difficult it gets to be honest. Single over 6 years now and it's getting worse "

I’ve been single 3 years and it’s the longest I’ve ever been single. I’m getting more fussy the longer it is. I’ve had loads of flings, fwb and fb’s but nothing serious.

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old "

It sounds to me that it's not looks that attracts you, but attitude..

I may be wrong, but reading between the lines it sounds like you're attracted to a certain arrogance and self-confidence that often accompanies a certain type of guy.

If that's the case it will always be a gamble as to whether they can deliver on the attitude or whether they will be all bluster and no substance.

But again, if I'm right you are always going to find yourself pulled to that type. But that's not a problem. If you have a type, you have a type. There'll be ones that don't live up to the hype, and tbose that do.

Goid luck with your search. You look hot, so the ball remains in your court.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

It's more of a people liking younger people thing

We should have an orgy for everyone our age who identifies more with people younger than us... wrap your head round that matrix

I would, but you're too old

He’s younger than me but still too old.

Oi stop picking on me you two grannies "

Ooops sorry Grandad. Is it not good for your heart?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

It's more of a people liking younger people thing

We should have an orgy for everyone our age who identifies more with people younger than us... wrap your head round that matrix

I would, but you're too old

He’s younger than me but still too old.

Oi stop picking on me you two grannies "

GILF to you sweetie!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find the longer you're single the more difficult it gets to be honest. Single over 6 years now and it's getting worse

I’ve been single 3 years and it’s the longest I’ve ever been single. I’m getting more fussy the longer it is. I’ve had loads of flings, fwb and fb’s but nothing serious. "

Why do you think that is? (says he who has only been single for 6 months and is loving it)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

It's more of a people liking younger people thing

We should have an orgy for everyone our age who identifies more with people younger than us... wrap your head round that matrix

I would, but you're too old

He’s younger than me but still too old.

Oi stop picking on me you two grannies

Ooops sorry Grandad. Is it not good for your heart? "

Haha I'm loving how this orgy is shaping up. You two are deliciously funny. Big grandad kisses for both of you wrinklies

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well why change what you like just maybe tweak it a little or just try something else for a change if you like it result if you dont then go back to what you were doing before

I’m guessing from what youve described what Men you go for but don’t want to state it as people will moan but most who are up themselves and sped all day on them self’s are like that

Oh and age is nothing I’ve been told by a lot of people I look 10 years younger than I am and also I’m a good looking lad for my age "

I hate stereotypes! I spend a lot of time looking after myself but I’m very far from narcissistic or self adoring. Does looking after your self make others assume this? I’m very low self esteem. So for me at times being “au natural “ isn’t that easy. Yet other days it’s fine.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

It's more of a people liking younger people thing

We should have an orgy for everyone our age who identifies more with people younger than us... wrap your head round that matrix

I would, but you're too old

He’s younger than me but still too old.

Oi stop picking on me you two grannies

Ooops sorry Grandad. Is it not good for your heart?

Haha I'm loving how this orgy is shaping up. You two are deliciously funny. Big grandad kisses for both of you wrinklies "

Orgy? I'd be worried you'd break a hip

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I find the longer you're single the more difficult it gets to be honest. Single over 6 years now and it's getting worse

I’ve been single 3 years and it’s the longest I’ve ever been single. I’m getting more fussy the longer it is. I’ve had loads of flings, fwb and fb’s but nothing serious.

Why do you think that is? (says he who has only been single for 6 months and is loving it) "

Errrrr , I really don’t know! Maybe it’s me maybe it’s my choices I don’t know.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

It's more of a people liking younger people thing

We should have an orgy for everyone our age who identifies more with people younger than us... wrap your head round that matrix

I would, but you're too old

He’s younger than me but still too old.

Oi stop picking on me you two grannies

Ooops sorry Grandad. Is it not good for your heart?

Haha I'm loving how this orgy is shaping up. You two are deliciously funny. Big grandad kisses for both of you wrinklies

Orgy? I'd be worried you'd break a hip "

I will bring the viagra and wand for when he’s having a break.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/06/18 01:19:17]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

It's more of a people liking younger people thing

We should have an orgy for everyone our age who identifies more with people younger than us... wrap your head round that matrix

I would, but you're too old

He’s younger than me but still too old.

Oi stop picking on me you two grannies

Ooops sorry Grandad. Is it not good for your heart?

Haha I'm loving how this orgy is shaping up. You two are deliciously funny. Big grandad kisses for both of you wrinklies

Orgy? I'd be worried you'd break a hip

I will bring the viagra and wand for when he’s having a break. "

Best bring some books too. His recovery time could take a while

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First thing that attracts me is banter and ability to hold a conversation

Second thing???"

Face

Then

Kissing skills

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

It sounds to me that it's not looks that attracts you, but attitude..

I may be wrong, but reading between the lines it sounds like you're attracted to a certain arrogance and self-confidence that often accompanies a certain type of guy.

If that's the case it will always be a gamble as to whether they can deliver on the attitude or whether they will be all bluster and no substance.

But again, if I'm right you are always going to find yourself pulled to that type. But that's not a problem. If you have a type, you have a type. There'll be ones that don't live up to the hype, and tbose that do.

Goid luck with your search. You look hot, so the ball remains in your court."

Yes your very right I’m attracted to arrogance and self confidence, assertive men regardless of image!! I find it hugely attractive. Along with power and intelligence!! How do I change what I find attractive in a man emotionally?? I can’t can I?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well why change what you like just maybe tweak it a little or just try something else for a change if you like it result if you dont then go back to what you were doing before

I’m guessing from what youve described what Men you go for but don’t want to state it as people will moan but most who are up themselves and sped all day on them self’s are like that

Oh and age is nothing I’ve been told by a lot of people I look 10 years younger than I am and also I’m a good looking lad for my age

I hate stereotypes! I spend a lot of time looking after myself but I’m very far from narcissistic or self adoring. Does looking after your self make others assume this? I’m very low self esteem. So for me at times being “au natural “ isn’t that easy. Yet other days it’s fine. "

Most men who preen themselves are indeed up themselves. The same may not be true for women (who am I to say?). But it's definitely true of men. Sorry

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

It sounds to me that it's not looks that attracts you, but attitude..

I may be wrong, but reading between the lines it sounds like you're attracted to a certain arrogance and self-confidence that often accompanies a certain type of guy.

If that's the case it will always be a gamble as to whether they can deliver on the attitude or whether they will be all bluster and no substance.

But again, if I'm right you are always going to find yourself pulled to that type. But that's not a problem. If you have a type, you have a type. There'll be ones that don't live up to the hype, and tbose that do.

Goid luck with your search. You look hot, so the ball remains in your court.

Yes your very right I’m attracted to arrogance and self confidence, assertive men regardless of image!! I find it hugely attractive. Along with power and intelligence!! How do I change what I find attractive in a man emotionally?? I can’t can I?"

Remember that arrogance and self confidence are not interconnected. It's about finding someone who has that balance

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well why change what you like just maybe tweak it a little or just try something else for a change if you like it result if you dont then go back to what you were doing before

I’m guessing from what youve described what Men you go for but don’t want to state it as people will moan but most who are up themselves and sped all day on them self’s are like that

Oh and age is nothing I’ve been told by a lot of people I look 10 years younger than I am and also I’m a good looking lad for my age

I hate stereotypes! I spend a lot of time looking after myself but I’m very far from narcissistic or self adoring. Does looking after your self make others assume this? I’m very low self esteem. So for me at times being “au natural “ isn’t that easy. Yet other days it’s fine. "

Im not a fan of stereotypes either really but the description reminded me of an Essex boy wannabe that’s all and yes I stereotyped but now you know what I mean

And yes I get called fat,ugly etc so fire away but I’ve also met some absolutely beautiful people who have said the opposite so each to there own I am what I am but what I do know is I’m not a rude stuck up demanding idiot and that helps a lot

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old

It sounds to me that it's not looks that attracts you, but attitude..

I may be wrong, but reading between the lines it sounds like you're attracted to a certain arrogance and self-confidence that often accompanies a certain type of guy.

If that's the case it will always be a gamble as to whether they can deliver on the attitude or whether they will be all bluster and no substance.

But again, if I'm right you are always going to find yourself pulled to that type. But that's not a problem. If you have a type, you have a type. There'll be ones that don't live up to the hype, and tbose that do.

Goid luck with your search. You look hot, so the ball remains in your court.

Yes your very right I’m attracted to arrogance and self confidence, assertive men regardless of image!! I find it hugely attractive. Along with power and intelligence!! How do I change what I find attractive in a man emotionally?? I can’t can I?

Remember that arrogance and self confidence are not interconnected. It's about finding someone who has that balance "

As I wrote that I thought hmmmm. Yes the two are closely related. Yet I do find myself very attracted to confident men (closely arrogance) and assertive men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t particularly have a type - I don’t go for looks either. Personality is a huge thing for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be getting pickier. Men my age look so much older than...... I feel

Funny you say that, when I rejoiced the dating scene in my mid 30's I found women my age to mostly have an ancient attitude. It was weird

I’m 47 but I’m way too hyper and more suited with a 30 something. I’m probably a little immature

Isn't this weird. I'm finding I have much more in common with women 10 yrs younger than me too. Hmm is it a swingers thing?

It's more of a people liking younger people thing

We should have an orgy for everyone our age who identifies more with people younger than us... wrap your head round that matrix

I would, but you're too old

He’s younger than me but still too old.

Oi stop picking on me you two grannies

Ooops sorry Grandad. Is it not good for your heart?

Haha I'm loving how this orgy is shaping up. You two are deliciously funny. Big grandad kisses for both of you wrinklies

Orgy? I'd be worried you'd break a hip

I will bring the viagra and wand for when he’s having a break.

Best bring some books too. His recovery time could take a while "

Is this the forum equivalent of a very weird kinky cuckolding dominating threesome with you two on top of me whilst I'm tied to a stena stair lift? Because if so I've suddenly decided you may not be too far past your sell by date after all xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well why change what you like just maybe tweak it a little or just try something else for a change if you like it result if you dont then go back to what you were doing before

I’m guessing from what youve described what Men you go for but don’t want to state it as people will moan but most who are up themselves and sped all day on them self’s are like that

Oh and age is nothing I’ve been told by a lot of people I look 10 years younger than I am and also I’m a good looking lad for my age

I hate stereotypes! I spend a lot of time looking after myself but I’m very far from narcissistic or self adoring. Does looking after your self make others assume this? I’m very low self esteem. So for me at times being “au natural “ isn’t that easy. Yet other days it’s fine.

Most men who preen themselves are indeed up themselves. The same may not be true for women (who am I to say?). But it's definitely true of men. Sorry "

Really? My ex hubby was very into his clothes and was very metrosexual but he was the most humble guy I know. I know quite a few that take good care and preen and not up themselves. I work as a flight attendant and the same can’t be said for many women I work with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Right I’m kind of pondering here. So I’ve met lots of men whom I’m physically attracted to at first glance in the past, and some have (most) turned out to be pretty poor choices , narcissistic and materialistic. So as I’ve got a little older my outlook and therefore view have changed , I’ve realised that I need to look beyond physical attraction. But what I’m struggling with is what I find attractive in a man physically , is usually personality entwined, hard to explain. But do you ever find yourself looking outside the box but then thinking ‘NO’ I like what I like. Maybe I’m just getting old "

Don't compromise too much, that's not the route to long term happiness. Just make sure you get better at 'setting the scene' of a new relationship.

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