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Should parenting classes be compulsory?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Should parenting classes be compulsory?

Before they are allowed to conceive or when pregnant?

For adopting parents and sperm donors?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why stop there?

Maybe we should sterilise those who fail the classes too.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

For adopting parents I can perhaps see the benefit in it, if they've not already had children of their own. I'm not sure what kind of screening/learning process they have to go through at the moment though.

Sperm donors in the main won't be doing any parenting so I guess it wouldn't be of any value.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you been watching Jeremy Kyle or something?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should parenting classes be compulsory?

Before they are allowed to conceive or when pregnant?

For adopting parents and sperm donors?

"

No. From what I understand, potentially adopting parents have to go through a lot as it is, and there is a lot of kids out there who need parents that want them.

Making it harder for this to happen is just a bad idea in my opinion

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No. The state doesn't make a good parent.

Imagine the contrast in parenting classes from 1818, 1918 and 2018. Which one would be teaching the right way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about new parents that aren’t adopting? Same rules apply?

We had kids and were sent home with this new life in the car seat, and we didn’t have a clue. No parenting classes and we’ve done alright. (Apart from the time....erm).

I don’t see how adopting makes you any less knowledgeable or prepared for the never ending learning curve of parenthood.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why do adopting parents have to jump through hoops to prove they can be good parents yet any woman can get pregnant and treat her kid like shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should parenting classes be compulsory?

Before they are allowed to conceive or when pregnant?

For adopting parents and sperm donors?

"

What if they don't talk English good like what me and you do do? Likely to fail any test. Might not be a bad parent though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't teach it, everyone does it in their own way. One size does not fit all in this case.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Why do adopting parents have to jump through hoops to prove they can be good parents yet any woman can get pregnant and treat her kid like shit. "

Because if an adoption goes horribly wrong the agency is called in to question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people should be removed from the gene pool and don't deserve kids! There are so many great people out there that do that either can't have them due to medical reasons or just haven't found the right person to settle down with to have them.

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

I firmly believe a lot of parenting skills are learned behaviour from your own parents . I see some of the parents today and the lack of obvious role models and it’s quite scary for the future

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Some people should be removed from the gene pool and don't deserve kids! There are so many great people out there that do that either can't have them due to medical reasons or just haven't found the right person to settle down with to have them."

Is reproduction something that's deserved in your opinion?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do adopting parents have to jump through hoops to prove they can be good parents yet any woman can get pregnant and treat her kid like shit. "

Having grown up from 14 watching my parents apply to be foster carers and were succesful, so from 16 onwards till 22 we always had other kids living with us.

The restrictions on foster parents is crazy, they’re pretty much not allowed to do anything, I’m talking even if the kid is going crazy with violence and smashing the place up or goes awol and missing for hours on end.

It’s pretty counter productive, all these courses and training they had to do, just to sit back and not even be allowed to lock the door or windows in the house for the kids own safety.

The state doesn’t always know best

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

No.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To add to the above - you’d be surprised how quickly kids that are treated like shit by their biological parents can be removed from their care. It’s the fact that most things aren’t reported until things reach an awful level.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"For adopting parents I can perhaps see the benefit in it, if they've not already had children of their own. I'm not sure what kind of screening/learning process they have to go through at the moment though.

Sperm donors in the main won't be doing any parenting so I guess it wouldn't be of any value. "

Why though,I'm an adoptive parent. Why the need for me and not someone who gives birth to their own child?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"For adopting parents I can perhaps see the benefit in it, if they've not already had children of their own. I'm not sure what kind of screening/learning process they have to go through at the moment though.

Sperm donors in the main won't be doing any parenting so I guess it wouldn't be of any value.

Why though,I'm an adoptive parent. Why the need for me and not someone who gives birth to their own child?"

I think parenting classes would be good for those having their own child too, but they weren't mentioned in the op.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people should be removed from the gene pool and don't deserve kids! There are so many great people out there that do that either can't have them due to medical reasons or just haven't found the right person to settle down with to have them.

Is reproduction something that's deserved in your opinion?"

Well looking at the way some kids are dragged up then yeah I think it is.

In the same way that people who neglect animals shouldn't be allowed to have pets, if you aren't fit to look after yourself then you certainly ain't gonna do a better job with a kid you're bringing into this world!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I firmly believe a lot of parenting skills are learned behaviour from your own parents . I see some of the parents today and the lack of obvious role models and it’s quite scary for the future"

Amen to that.

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham


"No. The state doesn't make a good parent.

Imagine the contrast in parenting classes from 1818, 1918 and 2018. Which one would be teaching the right way?"

All three classes would be appropriate for their own era I’d say . Wouldn’t you ? My father often said to me I’m so glad I’m not 21 and living in your era . I now same the same to my 21 yr old daughter

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"For adopting parents I can perhaps see the benefit in it, if they've not already had children of their own. I'm not sure what kind of screening/learning process they have to go through at the moment though.

Sperm donors in the main won't be doing any parenting so I guess it wouldn't be of any value.

Why though,I'm an adoptive parent. Why the need for me and not someone who gives birth to their own child?

I think parenting classes would be good for those having their own child too, but they weren't mentioned in the op. "

Oh right we're just talking about adoptive parents and sperm donors,sorry. I thought the conceiving bit was for those having their own children.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester


"You can't teach it, everyone does it in their own way. One size does not fit all in this case."

I thought most got their skills from a book nowadays.

You know the one that's been written by someone who has never had children

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"For adopting parents I can perhaps see the benefit in it, if they've not already had children of their own. I'm not sure what kind of screening/learning process they have to go through at the moment though.

Sperm donors in the main won't be doing any parenting so I guess it wouldn't be of any value.

Why though,I'm an adoptive parent. Why the need for me and not someone who gives birth to their own child?

I think parenting classes would be good for those having their own child too, but they weren't mentioned in the op.

Oh right we're just talking about adoptive parents and sperm donors,sorry. I thought the conceiving bit was for those having their own children."

That's how I read it, I could be wrong!

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham


"I firmly believe a lot of parenting skills are learned behaviour from your own parents . I see some of the parents today and the lack of obvious role models and it’s quite scary for the future"

This is the main out come of this discussion when it has cone up before when talking wirh friends, but there are some very good parents out there that have never had good parenting role models themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing can prepare you on becoming a parent, each child is different and you face new challenges everyday, as your kids grow and learn you learn with them. I was smacked as a child and it didn’t stop me from being a nightmare teenager yet I wouldn’t dream of smacking my children just hope and pray I can teach them right from wrong in life

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I firmly believe a lot of parenting skills are learned behaviour from your own parents . I see some of the parents today and the lack of obvious role models and it’s quite scary for the future

This is the main out come of this discussion when it has cone up before when talking wirh friends, but there are some very good parents out there that have never had good parenting role models themselves."

I think that depends on if you learn from your parents mistakes or repeat them. I know that Im a similar parent to my mum and dad but there are a couple of things I'd never do that they did.

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham


"I firmly believe a lot of parenting skills are learned behaviour from your own parents . I see some of the parents today and the lack of obvious role models and it’s quite scary for the future

This is the main out come of this discussion when it has cone up before when talking wirh friends, but there are some very good parents out there that have never had good parenting role models themselves."

Yes totally agree . Like everything in life there are exceptions to the rule

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To add to the above - you’d be surprised how quickly kids that are treated like shit by their biological parents can be removed from their care. It’s the fact that most things aren’t reported until things reach an awful level. "

Good point about the reporting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For adopting parents I can perhaps see the benefit in it, if they've not already had children of their own. I'm not sure what kind of screening/learning process they have to go through at the moment though.

Sperm donors in the main won't be doing any parenting so I guess it wouldn't be of any value.

Why though,I'm an adoptive parent. Why the need for me and not someone who gives birth to their own child?

I think parenting classes would be good for those having their own child too, but they weren't mentioned in the op.

Oh right we're just talking about adoptive parents and sperm donors,sorry. I thought the conceiving bit was for those having their own children."

Yes the OP is supposed to cover all parent types. Pregnant, adoptive, sperm donors etc etc.

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

I don't think parenting classes across the board is a bad idea. Parenting is the hardest job in the world that has no training what's so ever.

Should be encouraged maybe not forced. Maybe the same time as antinatal classes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/05/18 12:29:08]

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Every child is different anyway,a certain method of parenting may work for one child but not another. I have fairly complicated children so someone giving me parenting advice when they don't know my children wouldn't go down to well.

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By *urity555Man
over a year ago

south west

Now sure how you can teach people to be parents other than to love , nurture & treat children with respect and show them good manners etc.

I’m a parent to two teenagers and by god I’m still learning every day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, but I think they need a big overhaul of the adoption system. Not that I don’t think potential parents need to be screened, it takes years to adopt and it’s very difficult if you’re a single parent.

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Some ppl actually attend parenting classes to prepare themselves for parenthood. Being a parent is difficult so I can understand ppl wanting to attend classes. I don’t think them being compulsory is right but they should be available and accessible to everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For adopting parents I can perhaps see the benefit in it, if they've not already had children of their own. I'm not sure what kind of screening/learning process they have to go through at the moment though.

Sperm donors in the main won't be doing any parenting so I guess it wouldn't be of any value.

Why though,I'm an adoptive parent. Why the need for me and not someone who gives birth to their own child?

I think parenting classes would be good for those having their own child too, but they weren't mentioned in the op. "

It is mentioned in the OP.

I think parenting classes should be offered along with some kind of psychological evaluation.

The woman who lives opposite me, screams, shouts, swears and insults her 4 year old son all the time. All he wants to do is play in the garden with his toys, she just drags him back inside. 4 years old and still in nappies and can barely string a sentence together. So in her case yes absolutely she should have had parenting classes while pregnant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the quality of the classes. If they are rigid and don't allow for the differences in babies' personalities/sleep patterns/eating habits etc then no.

When I had my first child there were bathing demonstrations and midwives to guide you, and booklets.

How many parents parent the same?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For adopting parents I can perhaps see the benefit in it, if they've not already had children of their own. I'm not sure what kind of screening/learning process they have to go through at the moment though.

Sperm donors in the main won't be doing any parenting so I guess it wouldn't be of any value.

Why though,I'm an adoptive parent. Why the need for me and not someone who gives birth to their own child?

I think parenting classes would be good for those having their own child too, but they weren't mentioned in the op.

It is mentioned in the OP.

I think parenting classes should be offered along with some kind of psychological evaluation.

The woman who lives opposite me, screams, shouts, swears and insults her 4 year old son all the time. All he wants to do is play in the garden with his toys, she just drags him back inside. 4 years old and still in nappies and can barely string a sentence together. So in her case yes absolutely she should have had parenting classes while pregnant "

Do you think they would have made a difference?

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"For adopting parents I can perhaps see the benefit in it, if they've not already had children of their own. I'm not sure what kind of screening/learning process they have to go through at the moment though.

Sperm donors in the main won't be doing any parenting so I guess it wouldn't be of any value.

Why though,I'm an adoptive parent. Why the need for me and not someone who gives birth to their own child?

I think parenting classes would be good for those having their own child too, but they weren't mentioned in the op.

It is mentioned in the OP.

I think parenting classes should be offered along with some kind of psychological evaluation.

The woman who lives opposite me, screams, shouts, swears and insults her 4 year old son all the time. All he wants to do is play in the garden with his toys, she just drags him back inside. 4 years old and still in nappies and can barely string a sentence together. So in her case yes absolutely she should have had parenting classes while pregnant

Do you think they would have made a difference?"

Yeah I was just going to say that. I think if someone is like that to a child then she needs other help not parenting help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends on what they'll teach.

Nappy changing. Bathing. Basic weaning.

Sure would have taken some of the anxiety off me.

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By *xx90292Man
over a year ago

London

Just watch itv4 or 3?

There’s always some z-lister on there with their new baby acting like they’re the only person ever to have had a kid and exploiting the kid for all their worth . .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it depends on what they'll teach.

Nappy changing. Bathing. Basic weaning.

Sure would have taken some of the anxiety off me. "

I could have done with being taught the nappy changing basics, it was all new and quite nerve wracking the first time!!! I had to ask a Nurse to show me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think that classes (apart from the babycare basics) would help.

Each child is unique and different and bring with them their own challenges. I think the best thing for parents is a Support network that you can call on in times of need.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

No but sterilisation might be an idea for some

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We did NCT classes, and they definitely helped.

Now 5 & 10, could do with some more!

Taking my dog to dog training, where they learn by rewarding good behaviour, has changed my approach to my kids.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Been a parent and now a grandparent. I am still learning

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"We did NCT classes, and they definitely helped.

Now 5 & 10, could do with some more!

Taking my dog to dog training, where they learn by rewarding good behaviour, has changed my approach to my kids."

Love it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Who decides what is good parenting? I truly don't believe that its a good idea to allow the state to make that decision then make it compulsory to attend a class to learn to fit in with their model of family life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand where you are coming from op but parenting is done in all different shapes and sizes, take the couple that let their kids piss and shit on the floor and are ‘free sprites’ I wouldn’t say in my opinion that’s the ‘right way to parent’ but they might look at me and see me making sure my kids say please and thank you, wash their hands after using the loo and think ‘wow you’re harsh’.

I do think more should be done to help families that have for instance young parents or parents that struggle financially etc but the same could be said for ones that have loads of money yet work every hour, their kids might be ‘suffering’ not seeing mum and dad as much as the kids whose parents who sit on their arse on their phones all day ignoring them (only difference is the richer kids will have all the mod cons lol). I think if any parent or child is struggling then more help should be out there to guide them.

It did break my heart today to read about the little boy who died next to his mum as he had autism and couldn’t speak, she had died 2 weeks earlier and he couldn’t ask for help, those parents need more support and this may never have happened.

Geeky x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For adopting parents I can perhaps see the benefit in it, if they've not already had children of their own. I'm not sure what kind of screening/learning process they have to go through at the moment though.

Sperm donors in the main won't be doing any parenting so I guess it wouldn't be of any value.

Why though,I'm an adoptive parent. Why the need for me and not someone who gives birth to their own child?

I think parenting classes would be good for those having their own child too, but they weren't mentioned in the op.

It is mentioned in the OP.

I think parenting classes should be offered along with some kind of psychological evaluation.

The woman who lives opposite me, screams, shouts, swears and insults her 4 year old son all the time. All he wants to do is play in the garden with his toys, she just drags him back inside. 4 years old and still in nappies and can barely string a sentence together. So in her case yes absolutely she should have had parenting classes while pregnant

Do you think they would have made a difference?

Yeah I was just going to say that. I think if someone is like that to a child then she needs other help not parenting help."

Oh she's completely bonkers!! Even when it snows she takes the bins out barefoot wearing next to nothing, but the naive optimist likes to think if she had some proper guidance when she got pregnant she might not be so aggressive. Sometimes I wonder if I should call social services

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For adopting parents I can perhaps see the benefit in it, if they've not already had children of their own. I'm not sure what kind of screening/learning process they have to go through at the moment though.

Sperm donors in the main won't be doing any parenting so I guess it wouldn't be of any value.

Why though,I'm an adoptive parent. Why the need for me and not someone who gives birth to their own child?

I think parenting classes would be good for those having their own child too, but they weren't mentioned in the op.

It is mentioned in the OP.

I think parenting classes should be offered along with some kind of psychological evaluation.

The woman who lives opposite me, screams, shouts, swears and insults her 4 year old son all the time. All he wants to do is play in the garden with his toys, she just drags him back inside. 4 years old and still in nappies and can barely string a sentence together. So in her case yes absolutely she should have had parenting classes while pregnant

Do you think they would have made a difference?

Yeah I was just going to say that. I think if someone is like that to a child then she needs other help not parenting help.

Oh she's completely bonkers!! Even when it snows she takes the bins out barefoot wearing next to nothing, but the naive optimist likes to think if she had some proper guidance when she got pregnant she might not be so aggressive. Sometimes I wonder if I should call social services "

Do it. Think of her son.

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