FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

When to message again...or not?

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So you find someone you like, profile is loveley, honest messages in chat,they reply, things look good then nothing....

Do you message again after a few days?

Wink in hope?

Assume no interest and move on?

I appreciate that women and couples have full inboxes but what's the acceptable social practice?

Many thanks in advance.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they have been replying but suddenly stop then I would give it a few days and message again, they may have got busy and forgot to reply.

I'd only do it once though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

It’s worth making that call or sending the message. You never know, they may be glad you did.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'd have to look at the replies really. Are they one word answers, do they ask questions back, do they shut conversation down with no easy opener to reply to, do they ever initiate the first message, have they been active online a lot since you last messaged them, did your last message have something obvious to reply to?

Need more info!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave it a few days then message them when they are on-line. If no response after that, you may have to cut your losses

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

They’ve probably found someone better, I know it’s harsh but someone has to be honest with you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You'd have to look at the replies really. Are they one word answers, do they ask questions back, do they shut conversation down with no easy opener to reply to, do they ever initiate the first message, have they been active online a lot since you last messaged them, did your last message have something obvious to reply to?

Need more info!"

She’s thorough, I’ll give her that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you, obviously not going to share private coversations but the messages have been 2 way, not one word answers and no i didn't feel they'd shut the conversation down but i suspect life gets hectic for people (i know mine is).

I ask as i know pushy is a turn off but flip side is initial conversations are hard to guage.

Anyway thanks for your replies, appreciate the honesty

??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andys manMan
over a year ago

colchester


"So you find someone you like, profile is loveley, honest messages in chat,they reply, things look good then nothing....

Do you message again after a few days?

Wink in hope?

Assume no interest and move on?

I appreciate that women and couples have full inboxes but what's the acceptable social practice?

Many thanks in advance.

"

Welcome to ghosting, it actually has a name lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Sometimes I do genuinely miss messages, so after a day or two if things really were going well, then message again for me any way

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put 20 or more profiles on your hotlist.

Don't have to be interested in them

Wait for the profile you fancy is latest on.

Then you know they on line.

Message I'm sure you will get a reply.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps they were just being polite by replying. Was the last message read?

I know if I'm online and I've read a message of someone I'm interested in I'll reply. If I'm not online or haven't seen the message or even read it but can't reply at that exact moment I'll mark it as unread. I wouldn't read a message (that warranted a response) and not reply.

Last guy I had sex with from here he messaged, I replied he messaged again I replied and said let's have a chat, he sent his number we had a chat, I had him inside me 21 hours later.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have conversations with people where we dont message for a few weeks but when we do we just carry on as before..

Mind you Im not that arsed about whether a meet is on the cards or not so there is definitely no pressure

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even though I very much want to message again I don't as I assume the lady in question doesn't want any more messages from me, alas!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Give it a week. Only one more though, no more. Otherwise you’ll be no more. Message wise.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Even though I very much want to message again I don't as I assume the lady in question doesn't want any more messages from me, alas! "

That's what i have been doing too mainly because i assume they are not interested and don't want to pester people but do just wonder if a quick single message might be worth the risk.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"Even though I very much want to message again I don't as I assume the lady in question doesn't want any more messages from me, alas!

That's what i have been doing too mainly because i assume they are not interested and don't want to pester people but do just wonder if a quick single message might be worth the risk."

To both of you, that might not be the case, if I have a lot on in my life, I go to bed having answered their latest message, they then reply when I am fast asleep, I haven't time in the morning to reply as too busy getting ready for work, by evening I have totally forgotten it was there, if I don't hear from them again I automatically think they have found someone else to chat to, all quite logical to me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say one more message wont hurt. I miss messages at times.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I text once, if the message has been read with no reply, I don't text or wink again asI don't like doing a monologue and I have too much pride to be driven by my sexual drives and keep texting someone who doesn't seem to want to reply in order to get laid.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Then you know they on line.

"

Not always as fabs online isn’t accurate

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

I would just leave it and let them get back to you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have conversations with people where we dont message for a few weeks but when we do we just carry on as before..

Mind you Im not that arsed about whether a meet is on the cards or not so there is definitely no pressure "

I do the same pretty much

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Even though I very much want to message again I don't as I assume the lady in question doesn't want any more messages from me, alas!

That's what i have been doing too mainly because i assume they are not interested and don't want to pester people but do just wonder if a quick single message might be worth the risk."

Probably is some might want that little bit of a chase while others will think you're pestering! To bring in another thread, "you pays your money, you take your choice"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you, that's kind of why i asked x x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/05/18 23:01:27]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I say one more message wont hurt. I miss messages at times. "

Thank you, i suspect us blokeys don't realise the volume of traffic the women here get. I'm sure it's easy to lose track of all the messages incoming.

X x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Even though I very much want to message again I don't as I assume the lady in question doesn't want any more messages from me, alas!

That's what i have been doing too mainly because i assume they are not interested and don't want to pester people but do just wonder if a quick single message might be worth the risk."

The way forward is to set your calendar to remind you to send one message per day at the same time each day to remind her you are still around. She may have forgotten you or is busy sifting through 100s of messages.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You'd have to look at the replies really. Are they one word answers, do they ask questions back, do they shut conversation down with no easy opener to reply to, do they ever initiate the first message, have they been active online a lot since you last messaged them, did your last message have something obvious to reply to?

Need more info!"
a bit like what you did to me you mean.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Even though I very much want to message again I don't as I assume the lady in question doesn't want any more messages from me, alas!

That's what i have been doing too mainly because i assume they are not interested and don't want to pester people but do just wonder if a quick single message might be worth the risk.

The way forward is to set your calendar to remind you to send one message per day at the same time each day to remind her you are still around. She may have forgotten you or is busy sifting through 100s of messages.

"

I'm not that organised....i'm a man

Lol

Thank you though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Definitely send a message after a few days saying 'Did you still want to chat?'

Life takes over sometimes and people don't wait but sometimes I wish they had!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never message again. It’s better to say that they’ve ghosted you....than them saying your a stalker.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Definitely send a message after a few days saying 'Did you still want to chat?'

Life takes over sometimes and people don't wait but sometimes I wish they had! "

Thank you Frisky_Mare, ace profile name btw x x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top