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"He had an accident after I pegged him I'm just going to stop eating now | |||
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"He had an accident after I pegged him Sorry, I messed up your make up and lipstick | |||
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"He had an accident after I pegged him He was wearing a wig and calling himself Susan | |||
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"He had an accident after I pegged him Eh? | |||
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"He had an accident after I pegged him That was supposed to say ounce | |||
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"He had an accident after I pegged him What do you mean by that? | |||
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"He had an accident after I pegged him He's call poetsday. and I said I was leaving because he doesn't know poetry. I think I may be missing something here/ | |||
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"Dead pool 2 is on at the cinema Do you have a plus one? I've been dying to see it | |||
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"He had an accident after I pegged him No, you are right.. he’s shit | |||
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"Dead pool 2 is on at the cinema To stop myself from falling deeply and madly in love | |||
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"Dead pool 2 is on at the cinema He started reading me some lovey dovey stuff and it got weird!!!! | |||
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"Dead pool 2 is on at the cinema She doesn’t lick ladies! | |||
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"Diarrhea " How about we put a plug in so you can stay longer.... | |||
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"Dead pool 2 is on at the cinema Need to go buy more condoms lol | |||
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"Dead pool 2 is on at the cinema | |||
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"Diarrhea How about we put a plug in so you can stay longer.... Because the glue on Mrs fake beard has worn off!! | |||
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"Diarrhea How about we put a plug in so you can stay longer.... Only popped out for some milk and bread better go before the wife wonders where I am | |||
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"Dead pool 2 is on at the cinema Sorry, it’s just gonna be me and my secret man crush! Which is no longer a secret | |||
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"Dead pool 2 is on at the cinema His willy really IS a banana! | |||
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"Dead pool 2 is on at the cinema Well darn! | |||
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"Dead pool 2 is on at the cinema She drained me and I had to go and recharge | |||
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"Dead pool 2 is on at the cinema She stopped to take mid-sex selfies | |||
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"Dead pool 2 is on at the cinema Hahaha | |||
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"When I sobered up I found a wig and fake boobs on the floor" That he didn't appreciate my wig and silicone implants | |||
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"When I sobered up I found a wig and fake boobs on the floor That he didn't appreciate my wig and silicone implants Turns out they didn't want my "waterfall" | |||
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"I have another meet in 10 minutes!" Need to get back for the kids | |||
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"Had to get bake to take the cake out the oven " Its been a great 3 days.. | |||
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"Found out he had THREE bellybuttons!" They kept their socks on! | |||
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"Found out he had THREE bellybuttons! They kept their socks on! It’s a long journey home | |||
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"He wouldn’t take his Santa hat off. I didn't hear Mr properly when he said 'Oi, that's an out hole' | |||
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"It wasn't a fart I felt 3 hands on my dick. | |||
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"It wasn't a fart Apparently just because U’m crap In the sack that’s some kind of reason to kick me out | |||
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"It wasn't a fart The dog needs walking | |||
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"It wasn't a fart PERVERTS!!! oh sorry, that’s an l | |||
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"It wasn't a fart David Bowie jumped out of the wardrobe | |||
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"It wasn't a fart | |||
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"He was wearing a villa kit Because they’re absolute beginners! (Best we could come up with) | |||
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"He was wearing a villa kit They woke up | |||
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"We pulled his finger and nothing happened While I could still walk. | |||
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"He told a fib. He’s a doctor of pain NOT pleasure!!!!" They blocked us | |||
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"He told a fib. He’s a doctor of pain NOT pleasure!!!! They blocked us" The tatch didn't match the carpet | |||
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"He told a fib. He’s a doctor of pain NOT pleasure!!!! They blocked us" Have to get up early for work in the morning. | |||
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"He told a fib. He’s a doctor of pain NOT pleasure!!!! They blocked us Have to get up early for work in the morning. Because neither of us is a bi-fem | |||
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"He told a fib. He’s a doctor of pain NOT pleasure!!!! They blocked us Have to get up early for work in the morning. Because I'm bi and not required. | |||
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"He told a fib. He’s a doctor of pain NOT pleasure!!!! They blocked us Have to get up early for work in the morning. Because she’s so stunning that I started to drool | |||
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"He told a fib. He’s a doctor of pain NOT pleasure!!!! They blocked us Have to get up early for work in the morning. Thought id better get his suit dry cleaned before He woke. | |||
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"He told a fib. He’s a doctor of pain NOT pleasure!!!! They blocked us Have to get up early for work in the morning. I've prematurely ejaculated | |||
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"He told a fib. He’s a doctor of pain NOT pleasure!!!! They blocked us Have to get up early for work in the morning. He came and went | |||
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"I needed to fart and knew it was gonna be a stinker " If it was anything like your last fart I think we would both have to leave | |||
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"Peaked to soon Don’t worry, you’re only human, it’s no surprise that you couldn’t hold back | |||
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"You said yous were beginners" Need to take my diabetes medication | |||
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"You said yous were beginners Need to take my diabetes medication" Wait I don't live in Shrewsbury | |||
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"You said yous were beginners Need to take my diabetes medication Wait I don't live in Shrewsbury" We've ate all his chocolate brownie's and realised he doesn't accom so think we may have overstayed our welcome just a tad | |||
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