FabSwingers.com forum: Sexuality is a choice

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yay or nay?

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Yay

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

This should be an interesting thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s something you’re born with, acting on it is a choice.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I think choosing to be yourself is the choice, rather than the sexuality.

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By *azmar62Couple
over a year ago

Hinckley

"I think choosing to be yourself is the choice, rather than the sexuality.

Spot on

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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin

"I think choosing to be yourself is the choice, rather than the sexuality.

Well said

Who cares if some likes men or women or both of trans or everyone inbetween. Being who you want to be is what’s important

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nay

But you can choose to run with it

Or try to suppress it (fool)

Or push boundaries and explore it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does one choose to prefer tomato soup to chicken?

Or to prefer winter to summer?

Or to be tall?

Or to be a mathematical genius?

Or to be a bit rubbish at tennis?

Or do we just play the hand we are dealt? Including our sexuality.

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Well said gumshoe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nay. But you choose weather to accept your sexuality.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Much as I tend to oppose socio biological explanations, I have the incontrovertible personal evidence that I am and always have been primarily attracted to women and I can't see how I could choose to change that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id say to anyone who says that it is a choice, you could easily prove that by just doing it.

I.e. a heterosexual person, be gay for a year.Go on,I dare you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you choose to be right handed or left handed ?!

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

No, it just ..... *is*.

I've read quite a bit about the history of sex, as in attitudes, law etc., and time and again you find past accounts from people who say that if it was possible to *choose* your sexuality, and be completely happy about it, then they would have done, in order to avoid their experience of persecution, ridicule, sneaking about, dissatisfaction, frustration, fear, prosecution, discrimination and so forth. But they couldn't choose, couldn't alter that fundamental part of them, no matter what image of themselves they might have otherwise presented to a (then) largely judgemental society. You can understand why some people felt like that - the widespread belief that people wilfully *chose* to be a 'degenerate' persisted until comparatively recently and much of society was pretty unforgiving of such perceived 'choices' (many parts of the world still are). Why would people put themselves through that if they could exercise choice about such things?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's hard wired.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Much as I tend to oppose socio biological explanations, I have the incontrovertible personal evidence that I am and always have been primarily attracted to women and I can't see how I could choose to change that. "

Does the type of women you are attracted to vary or is it quite fixed ?

Following Higgin's self-discrepancy theory, which posites that people have three different self; the actual self, the ideal self and the ought self, Klohen and Mendelsohn argued that someone's perception of his/her 'ideal self' will play a role in his/her selection of romantic partner. For instance, if someone's perception of his/her ideal self is based on physical attributes such as being height or weight...and so on, that person might look for those characteristics in his/her potential partners.

Btw I am not having a go at you or at anyone else, I just find the theory very interesting and it seems to make sense to me to a certain extent but of course, sex and ultimateky relationship are much more complex than that and it is a combination of nurture and nature.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some good answers above already. (and good reasoning for them too)

Of course you can’t choose your sexual leaning, but I can only speak freely about how I feel.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Nay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally in your nature and dna as what you are. But there are people that choose not to act on thier nature or aren’t aware of themselves so act like other people think they should act

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s something you’re born with, acting on it is a choice."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think sexuality changes as we experience more on our sexual journey I'm more open minded to certain scenarios now than ever before all due to experiences over recent years .

experience and grow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's too simple an explanation to say somebody is born something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?"

That will be an interesting debate !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! "
.

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

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By *-CrassClownMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

You are what you are, however whether you choose to act on it is up to you.

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By *arkRichMan
over a year ago

Manchester City Centre

Like most things in life...

You cannot over simplify sexuality...

Some people will choose their sexual kinks

Some will be born with them

All I will say is this...

Just because you are born into the most socially acceptable sexuality, the most respected sex, or the most powerful race...

It doesn’t give you the right to judge the people who aren’t

Each case is individual

I had a mate who was gay for a bit, and he says it was a choice for him... every other gay and bisexual person I know say that they just go with what they are attracted to... and like someone said on this thread... their choice was less about sexual preference, and more about being true to themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! .

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

From an evolution perspective humans are biologically wired to procreate and it is only possible to do so with partners of the opposite sex.

So it is possible to argue than any forms of sexuality which do not intend to procreate are highly influenced by the social environment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! .

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

Dave, start a thread about it. And watch it quickly get taken down.

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By *arkRichMan
over a year ago

Manchester City Centre

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! .

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

From an evolution perspective humans are biologically wired to procreate and it is only possible to do so with partners of the opposite sex.

So it is possible to argue than any forms of sexuality which do not intend to procreate are highly influenced by the social environment.

It is important to remember that homosexuality does exist in the animal kingdom too...

So that would suggest that it isn’t something specific to those of us who have ‘freewill’ or the ability to think independently... if that’s how you view animals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you choose to be right handed or left handed ?!"

Have you noticed I haven’t posted any threads? Are you happy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you choose to be right handed or left handed ?!

Have you noticed I haven’t posted any threads? Are you happy? "

is this a new question?

*typed by my left hand. As my right hand is holding my coffee.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! .

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

From an evolution perspective humans are biologically wired to procreate and it is only possible to do so with partners of the opposite sex.

So it is possible to argue than any forms of sexuality which do not intend to procreate are highly influenced by the social environment.

How can somebody be highly influenced by the social environment and become Ghay? I’m sure sexuality is influenced by biology.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! .

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

From an evolution perspective humans are biologically wired to procreate and it is only possible to do so with partners of the opposite sex.

So it is possible to argue than any forms of sexuality which do not intend to procreate are highly influenced by the social environment.

It is important to remember that homosexuality does exist in the animal kingdom too...

So that would suggest that it isn’t something specific to those of us who have ‘freewill’ or the ability to think independently... if that’s how you view animals "

Of course it does, the main purpose of sex is procreation... Otherwise we wouldn't be there. Yet sex is interwined with much more than that, therefore it is very complex to determine what is part of nature and what is part of nuture when it comes to choose a sexual partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a bisexual woman I’d say nah, I don’t choose to be attracted to both sexes, I either go with it and act or I don’t and suppress it, I’ve been in relationships where I’ve had to suppress it and it’s not nice to have to do, I’d rather be open about who I am and finding that in a relationship is very difficult, a lot of guys think it’s awsome to have a partner that’s willing to have women join them yet when faced with the reality of it actually happening a lot can go wrong (as I found out the hardest way possible in my last m/f relationship)

We are who we are and that can’t be changed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! .

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

From an evolution perspective humans are biologically wired to procreate and it is only possible to do so with partners of the opposite sex.

So it is possible to argue than any forms of sexuality which do not intend to procreate are highly influenced by the social environment.

How can somebody be highly influenced by the social environment and become Ghay? I’m sure sexuality is influenced by biology. "

Oh environment plays also a role in our sexuality. You may noticed that Dave used the same argument for another form of sexuality.

Do you agree with that statement?

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

It's not a choice.. . You are born in whatever sexuality type disposition you fall into.

I've saw friends literally racked with guilt and try and conform to "societal norms" which broke them as the relationship they were 'forced into' made them hate themselves.

Whether you fancy men or women or both is not really essentially any different to liking salt and vinegar, cheese and onion or both.

Really tho who cares? If it doesn't impact you or you aren't receiving unwanted advances what difference does it make?

My mum god rest her soul always thought my being bisexual was a phase I'd grow out of.... needless to say never grew out of it

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

"As a bisexual woman I’d say nah, I don’t choose to be attracted to both sexes, I either go with it and act or I don’t and suppress it, I’ve been in relationships where I’ve had to suppress it and it’s not nice to have to do, I’d rather be open about who I am and finding that in a relationship is very difficult, a lot of guys think it’s awsome to have a partner that’s willing to have women join them yet when faced with the reality of it actually happening a lot can go wrong (as I found out the hardest way possible in my last m/f relationship)

We are who we are and that can’t be changed "

Seconded and agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! .

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

From an evolution perspective humans are biologically wired to procreate and it is only possible to do so with partners of the opposite sex.

So it is possible to argue than any forms of sexuality which do not intend to procreate are highly influenced by the social environment.

How can somebody be highly influenced by the social environment and become Ghay? I’m sure sexuality is influenced by biology.

Oh environment plays also a role in our sexuality. You may noticed that Dave used the same argument for another form of sexuality.

Do you agree with that statement? "

I heard on radio the other day that they are classifying paedophelia as a mental illness and asking people to come forward to get help.

You may be somewhat correct in saying that some element of sexuality is influenced by social environment but I’m attracted to women and I don’t think our social environment is going to influence my sexuality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are who we are and that can’t be changed

Seconded and agree "

Then why some middle aged men turn ghay or bi sexual?

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By *arkRichMan
over a year ago

Manchester City Centre

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! .

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

From an evolution perspective humans are biologically wired to procreate and it is only possible to do so with partners of the opposite sex.

So it is possible to argue than any forms of sexuality which do not intend to procreate are highly influenced by the social environment.

It is important to remember that homosexuality does exist in the animal kingdom too...

So that would suggest that it isn’t something specific to those of us who have ‘freewill’ or the ability to think independently... if that’s how you view animals

So... as it is thought that many animals do not have the ability to consciously make choices about things like that... it would suggest that some animals may well be born gay, as they would never have had the option to choose to be gay...

It’s also interesting to take note that countries where it is more acceptable to be LGBT, like Thailand, are countries where their religions haven’t dogmatised same sex relationships for hundreds of years (Bhuddism)

Yet, an hour drive from Thailand, you find yourself in the Philippines, where there religion has dogmatised same sex relationships for hundreds of years, and being LGBT is highly unacceptable... (Catholic)

I personally think out attitude on same sex relationships are shaped by outdated views, made by people who banned homosexuality, not for the good of society, but for the advancement of their religion...

Think about it...

Gay men do not have babies

Ban gay relationships,

Contraception,

popularise marriage and link it to your religion,

And your population grows... as does your power influence and wealth

That’s why many religions have tried to do the whole polygamy thing... works even better!

Anyway... I’ve brought up religion...

I must be mad

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

We are who we are and that can’t be changed

Seconded and agree

Then why some middle aged men turn ghay or bi sexual? "

They don't "turn" - they'll have suppressed it

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! .

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

From an evolution perspective humans are biologically wired to procreate and it is only possible to do so with partners of the opposite sex.

So it is possible to argue than any forms of sexuality which do not intend to procreate are highly influenced by the social environment.

It is important to remember that homosexuality does exist in the animal kingdom too...

So that would suggest that it isn’t something specific to those of us who have ‘freewill’ or the ability to think independently... if that’s how you view animals

Think about it...

Gay men do not have babies

Ban gay relationships,

Contraception,

popularise marriage and link it to your religion,

And your population grows... as does your power influence and wealth

That’s why many religions have tried to do the whole polygamy thing... works even better!

Anyway... I’ve brought up religion...

I must be mad

However if you look at it sociologically some tribes don't practice monogamy or marriage or same sex anything and people co exist harmoniously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are who we are and that can’t be changed

Seconded and agree

Then why some middle aged men turn ghay or bi sexual?

They don't "turn" - they'll have suppressed it "

Why can’t they develop those urges.. they might not have suppressed. Only one way find out.. any men who can talk from personal experiences?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! .

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

From an evolution perspective humans are biologically wired to procreate and it is only possible to do so with partners of the opposite sex.

So it is possible to argue than any forms of sexuality which do not intend to procreate are highly influenced by the social environment.

How can somebody be highly influenced by the social environment and become Ghay? I’m sure sexuality is influenced by biology.

Oh environment plays also a role in our sexuality. You may noticed that Dave used the same argument for another form of sexuality.

Do you agree with that statement?

I heard on radio the other day that they are classifying paedophelia as a mental illness and asking people to come forward to get help.

See the evolutionary perspective point.

I think sexuality as Dave underlined, is way more complicated than we think. And if an opinion/argument is clashing with your own perspective or value of it, as valid as it is, it is rejected.

In my opinion, sexuality is a combination of nurture and nature, but it may be impossible to determine which one has the more influence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No idea tbh, does it matter?

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By *arkRichMan
over a year ago

Manchester City Centre

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! .

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

From an evolution perspective humans are biologically wired to procreate and it is only possible to do so with partners of the opposite sex.

So it is possible to argue than any forms of sexuality which do not intend to procreate are highly influenced by the social environment.

It is important to remember that homosexuality does exist in the animal kingdom too...

So that would suggest that it isn’t something specific to those of us who have ‘freewill’ or the ability to think independently... if that’s how you view animals

Think about it...

Gay men do not have babies

Ban gay relationships,

Contraception,

popularise marriage and link it to your religion,

And your population grows... as does your power influence and wealth

That’s why many religions have tried to do the whole polygamy thing... works even better!

Anyway... I’ve brought up religion...

I must be mad

However if you look at it sociologically some tribes don't practice monogamy or marriage or same sex anything and people co exist harmoniously "

Probably due to the lack of organised dogmatised religions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are who we are and that can’t be changed

Seconded and agree

Then why some middle aged men turn ghay or bi sexual?

They don't "turn" - they'll have suppressed it

Why can’t they develop those urges.. they might not have suppressed. Only one way find out.. any men who can talk from personal experiences? "

I didn’t realise I was bi until my early 20’s it just didn’t occur to me that I was finding women attractive, I was in a straight m/f relationship and when we’d see a hot women of appreciate how hot she was but that’s as far as it went, one day someone asked if I was straight when they’d seen me noticing a hot woman and that when the penny dropped, I’d even had mff threesomes before that but to me it was just a fun night at the time and nothing more, I was fine with others being any sexually but didn’t see myself as anything but straight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! .

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

From an evolution perspective humans are biologically wired to procreate and it is only possible to do so with partners of the opposite sex.

So it is possible to argue than any forms of sexuality which do not intend to procreate are highly influenced by the social environment.

How can somebody be highly influenced by the social environment and become Ghay? I’m sure sexuality is influenced by biology.

Oh environment plays also a role in our sexuality. You may noticed that Dave used the same argument for another form of sexuality.

Do you agree with that statement?

I heard on radio the other day that they are classifying paedophelia as a mental illness and asking people to come forward to get help.

See the evolutionary perspective point.

I think sexuality as Dave underlined, is way more complicated than we think. And if an opinion/argument is clashing with your own perspective or value of it, as valid as it is, it is rejected.

In my opinion, sexuality is a combination of nurture and nature, but it may be impossible to determine which one has the more influence.

You could potentially be correct in respect of gender fluid people.. “they”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe spend a bit less time trying to stick labels on it, and a bit more time just accepting people for who they are...?

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By *nnie2009Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

"Maybe spend a bit less time trying to stick labels on it, and a bit more time just accepting people for who they are...?

"
lgtb all equal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! .

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

From an evolution perspective humans are biologically wired to procreate and it is only possible to do so with partners of the opposite sex.

So it is possible to argue than any forms of sexuality which do not intend to procreate are highly influenced by the social environment.

"
.

Indeed and as I said above I think it's far more complicated than being "born" gay.

Nature, nurture, childhood experiences, environment.

I suspect like all things there's probably a little bit of everything playing into it.

Saying your born gay is like saying your born sadistic, voyeuristic or a sexual prude!.

If I had to hazard a guess while being in no way an expert I'd suspect there's far more nurture and environment in "homosexualities" then nature.

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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

That will be an interesting debate !! .

I'm just asking questions to people's opinions

From an evolution perspective humans are biologically wired to procreate and it is only possible to do so with partners of the opposite sex.

So it is possible to argue than any forms of sexuality which do not intend to procreate are highly influenced by the social environment.

How can somebody be highly influenced by the social environment and become Ghay? I’m sure sexuality is influenced by biology.

Oh environment plays also a role in our sexuality. You may noticed that Dave used the same argument for another form of sexuality.

Do you agree with that statement?

I heard on radio the other day that they are classifying paedophelia as a mental illness and asking people to come forward to get help.

Before I say this..... it is not an excuse

Apparently some peadophiles have been found to have a rumour behind their eye which apparently is the cause of their attraction to children.... as the attraction is no longer there when the tumours were removed..... however it’s still not an excuse and also not all peadophiles have a tumour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nay

But you can choose to run with it

Or try to suppress it (fool)

Or push boundaries and explore it"

totally agree....and it only took me 45 years to stop being a fool

what a waste I say....

just be yourself ...x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our brains work in funny and very different ways. What some people see as a natural urge is a choice to others. Some of us are more strong willed and less easily influenced. Personally I would say it’s a choice, but I’m sure others would disagree. Wouldn’t the world be boring if we were all the same?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?"

You'd probably need to ask a psychologist but its likely there is something deep within them that gives them those urges.as has been pointed out, there is a choice about whether or not to act on those urges.

It could be argued that paedophilia is not a sexuality in the same sense as homo or heterosexuality.

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By *urlesque!Woman
over a year ago

Gloucester

I quite agree that there is so much more than just a physical attraction. There is a lot of largely unconscious stuff that makes us prefer one over another partner. Just look at the way we"choose" our partners when we are in our twenties and how this changes when we are older.

Certain traits may always be favoured but some things do change in what we are looking for. For many of us anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you choose to be right handed or left handed ?!

Have you noticed I haven’t posted any threads? Are you happy?

is this a new question?

*typed by my left hand. As my right hand is holding my coffee.

I’m just using it as an example, comparing it to sexuality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you choose to be right handed or left handed ?!

Have you noticed I haven’t posted any threads? Are you happy?

is this a new question?

*typed by my left hand. As my right hand is holding my coffee.

I’m just using it as an example, comparing it to sexuality. "

Are you happy today?

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

"Nay. But you choose weather to accept your sexuality. "

I know a mate I went college with, always had a good looking girl on his arm. Caught up with him recently, he is married to his male partner. He went through a nightmare time coming to terms with his sexuality, so it can be destructive to try and suppress it.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My first sexual experience was with a boy. My second with a girl. Ive just always just thought of myself as sexual although the "label" is pansexual

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s something you’re born with, acting on it is a choice."

I would say that is fairly close to the mark!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you choose to be right handed or left handed ?!

Have you noticed I haven’t posted any threads? Are you happy?

is this a new question?

*typed by my left hand. As my right hand is holding my coffee.

I’m just using it as an example, comparing it to sexuality.

Are you happy today? "

Loving this bromance haha

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?"

There has been a study that says some are actualky born that way, as disgusting as it might sound.

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By *ky19Man
over a year ago

Plymouth OYO Hotel

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

There has been a study that says some are actualky born that way, as disgusting as it might sound."

Hmmm well personally I would question whether that study is really infallible and the be all end all of the matter.

One of the next things society will want is accepting paedophilia, and eventually demonising anyone who personally has doubts whether it's really a right thing, even if they totally accept and approve the person themselves. Kinda scary but I believe it's heading this way

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By *ky19Man
over a year ago

Plymouth OYO Hotel

For me personally, I chose to open myself up to other males recently, for my own reasons. I like people basically, and still kinda see myself as a straight guy who's flexible. Had to train myself to be interested in other guys and break down inner walls.

In the same way somebody who smokes had to get used to it. I'm used to it now but it was my choice, I don't personally believe I was born that way.

But peace to everyone OK, everyone is entitled to their sincere belief x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish it was a choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and I chose all sexes lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yay or nay?"

Is it heck as like, nobody chooses to make their life complicated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yay or nay?"

Are you asking about sexual/gender identity or sexual orientation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think choosing to be yourself is the choice, rather than the sexuality.

Choosing to act on it or not is the only choice. I did not go out of my way to seek men and trans people. But I did choose to act on it after many years of questioning if I wanted to be identified as bisexual and face the possible stigma that goes with it.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

There has been a study that says some are actualky born that way, as disgusting as it might sound.

Hmmm well personally I would question whether that study is really infallible and the be all end all of the matter.

I have a very good friend who is right at the top of social services in the uk . He visits paedophiles and the worst offenders in this country as part of his job , collating information on them etc...

and yes it would seem that paedophiles are born that way . It’s the only thing that gets them sexually aroused . Just as a gay guy is only aroused by watching gay sex porn .

It’s pretty bloody worrying to be honest , as if they are born that way , how do we stop them ?

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By *outhbucksCouple
over a year ago

Great Missenden

My take on it:

Sexuality you are born with.

But take sexuality out of the equation for a moment. Throughout life we do things we enjoy and find pleasurable. Our idea of thrilling as a 5 year old is quite different to what thrills us as an adult.

We constantly push boundaries to find the trill in life be they, for example, extreme sports, gambling or sexual pleasures.

Why have any of us entered into this lifestyle? Because we find it a thrill?

Why do middle age men turn 'gay/bi'? I think the menopause has a lot to do with it. As women suffer this major change in their bodies, a lot of men can be left without any sexual release. Masturbating only provides so much of a thrill for so long and for some, the 'thrill' of a sexual encounter with another human being helps fill that void.

Are they born gay/bi? Possibly not, but they are open minded enough to try something that helps provide that endorphin kick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nay

You are born male or female however sometimes you are born in the wrong body, this isn’t a choice, nor a phase.

Why are we so hung up about sexuality??

We are all people, we all have feelings, so why does it matter. Putting labels on everyone x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Course it is. I choose to be heterosexual even though I was born a raging lesbian.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Course it is. I choose to be heterosexual even though I was born a raging lesbian."

Raging lesbian.. I like that

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Sexuality isn't static, we can learn and understand ourselves more often by doing, than just thinking. Where and how we put our attention, as well as our limits, becomes our choices. We're partly genetic but also partly experience driven organisms. We're not typically known to choose to do things that aren't interesting or don't provide satisfaction to us. As social animals we're also highly influenced by others - this can limit what we would permit ourselves to do, even if we may want to. The desire is part of who we live as, the choices we may make may vary or limit ourselves.

People are complex and many of our traits and interests aren't binary but are positioned upon vast spectra.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does this mean pedophilies are inherently born finding children attractive?.... Or was it something in they're childhood experience that made them what they are?

There has been a study that says some are actualky born that way, as disgusting as it might sound.

Hmmm well personally I would question whether that study is really infallible and the be all end all of the matter.

and yes it would seem that paedophiles are born that way . It’s the only thing that gets them sexually aroused . Just as a gay guy is only aroused by watching gay sex porn .

It’s pretty bloody worrying to be honest , as if they are born that way , how do we stop them ?

Prevention Project Dunkelfeld has interesting ideas for this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sexuality isn't static, we can learn and understand ourselves more often by doing, than just thinking. Where and how we put our attention, as well as our limits, becomes our choices. We're partly genetic but also partly experience driven organisms. We're not typically known to choose to do things that aren't interesting or don't provide satisfaction to us. As social animals we're also highly influenced by others - this can limit what we would permit ourselves to do, even if we may want to. The desire is part of who we live as, the choices we may make may vary or limit ourselves.

People are complex and many of our traits and interests aren't binary but are positioned upon vast spectra."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does one choose to prefer tomato soup to chicken?

Or to prefer winter to summer?

Or to be tall?

Or to be a mathematical genius?

Or to be a bit rubbish at tennis?

Or do we just play the hand we are dealt? Including our sexuality."

This

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I used to be straight - then turned bi. That was a bit of a life shock.

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By *ky19Man
over a year ago

Plymouth OYO Hotel

In seriousness, I respect anyone regardless how they identify, but I firmly believe gender is set and everything else is really sexuality as opposed to gender.

I also believe the powers that be want many people confused and not knowing who they are, which is why the media has been pushing this so hard.

There is talk in places of extending marriage so people can be legally married to a river, or a pet, or anything they like essentially. I'm kinda worried it's maybe starting to get a bit silly now.

I'm also like was it really all so terrible how it was before?

Someone I heard (Richard D Hall*) said with all respect to everyone,

genetically there are only either chromosomes xx or xy with gender issues really being more like sexuality issues, and his beliefs mirror mine in that this is all over the media so much so that people will be internally riled up just reading a post such as this.

Everyone being trained to be divided and hate each other.

*I've watched quite a lot of Richard D Hall's work recently. I disagree with much of it but respect his sincerity and integrity. Some of his work is fantastic IMO and it was somehow stumbling on one of his documentaries about Madeleine McCann that really helped me change my views on several things.

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By *ky19Man
over a year ago

Plymouth OYO Hotel

There's a ts person on this site where I'm at I've been really wanting to meet, guess that's me chances shot now then...

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think sexual orientation is likely to be from birth, with later cultural influences facilitating - or not - how much people manage to both understand and express themselves with others.

Non-heterosexual orientation is widespread in the animal kingdom and throughout human history, suggesting some possible genetic aspects. Adaptive traits can benefit a society or an individual, supporting evolutionary theory.

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