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just a great line...

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Judge Judy...

I was smarter than you are when I was born ...

any other great lines in life or in the forums...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've forgotten more than you'll ever know.

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Snooker champ John Parrott on actress Joan Collins: She unfortunately can't be with us tonight. She's busy attending the birth of her next husband.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

of course I will respect you in the morning...

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

are you reading that paper your sitting on

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Mrs Merton – The Mrs Merton Show. To Debbie McGee: “So what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's easier to get forgiveness than permission

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mrs Merton – The Mrs Merton Show. To Debbie McGee: “So what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?”"

Now that was a classic Line.

Nearly fell off the sofa laughing at Mrs Merton's quips many a time.

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"Mrs Merton – The Mrs Merton Show. To Debbie McGee: “So what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?”

Now that was a classic Line.

Nearly fell off the sofa laughing at Mrs Merton's quips many a time. "

just watched it again... classic delivery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it."

- Maya Angelou

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

- Rita Rudner

"Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"

- Rita Rudner

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

- Rita Rudner

"Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: A woman having large breasts makes men stupid."

- Rita Rudner

"I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them"

- Rita Rudner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone is equal, just some are more equal than others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"bet you a dollar you're the widow Jackson" - Corporal Nobby Nobbs on breaking the news to Mrs Jackson of her husbands death

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By *lassic1Man
over a year ago

bellshill

Your problem is that you suffer from delusions of adequacy....

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it." Steven Wright

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

silence is the the most perfect expression of scorn

.

.

my favourite George Bernard Shaw Quote

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Boy, dont piss up my back and then try to tell me its raining!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Boy, dont piss up my back and then try to tell me its raining!"

That sounds like it should be from a film with Jack Nicholson in it

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Best line i heard today was when asking micheal aspel if he had ever met jimmy saville said "i have never met him" then they went on to show the this is your life jimmy saville that micheal aspel hosted

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"Best line i heard today was when asking micheal aspel if he had ever met jimmy saville said "i have never met him" then they went on to show the this is your life jimmy saville that micheal aspel hosted "

I saw that, I was mortified for him and Christine Hamilton was a bitch.

He looks so frail now

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

in the forums a couple of years ago

Do you want tomato sauce for that chip on your shoulder....

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Or Derek Redmond, athlete, saying how he thought Linford Christie was the most balanced athlete, "He had a chip on each shoulder"

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Best line i heard today was when asking micheal aspel if he had ever met jimmy saville said "i have never met him" then they went on to show the this is your life jimmy saville that micheal aspel hosted

I saw that, I was mortified for him and Christine Hamilton was a bitch.

He looks so frail now"

He does look frail, but i think he delt with it pretty well cause i would of just died on the spot lol

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"If you had twice the brains you have...you would still be a halfwit!"

"If things don't change....they will stay as they are"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

- Rita Rudner

"Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"

- Rita Rudner

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

- Rita Rudner

"Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: A woman having large breasts makes men stupid."

- Rita Rudner

"I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them"

- Rita Rudner

"

What happened to her, she used to be on TV loads!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scene from Carwash. A TV is talking to a macho guy who keeps taking the piss that he is gay.

" honey, I am more man than you will ever be, and more woman than you will ever have".

Love that line!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Boy, dont piss up my back and then try to tell me its raining!

That sounds like it should be from a film with Jack Nicholson in it "

That was a line actor John Vernon said in "The Outlaw Josey Wales"

I've modified it and used it myself on more than one occaision

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" "The Outlaw Josey Wales"

"

IMHO, the gretest film ever made. Clint to the Bounty Hunter when he told him what he did for a living and that he was looking for Josey Wales.. " dying aint much of a living boy"

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

she never tho.. just a good line

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" "The Outlaw Josey Wales"

IMHO, the gretest film ever made. Clint to the Bounty Hunter when he told him what he did for a living and that he was looking for Josey Wales.. " dying aint much of a living boy""

Also from the same film

Clint to Chief Dan George, "It's always the same, people I like don't seem to be around too long", Chief replied "I've noticed they aren't around too long if you don't like them either"

Yes brilliant film, only rivaled by "Unforgiven" in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" "The Outlaw Josey Wales"

IMHO, the gretest film ever made. Clint to the Bounty Hunter when he told him what he did for a living and that he was looking for Josey Wales.. " dying aint much of a living boy"

Also from the same film

Clint to Chief Dan George, "It's always the same, people I like don't seem to be around too long", Chief replied "I've noticed they aren't around too long if you don't like them either"

Yes brilliant film, only rivaled by "Unforgiven" in my opinion. "

A fellow western fan it seems! Both great films.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

she never tho.. just a good line"

Loving that!

The greatest woman I ever know was my nan. Also one of the funniest people I ever met, a great Irish humour. My 2 fav lines from her...

When I told her my marriage had broken down, in her broad Irish accent she said " well Son, you have only yourself and your cock to keep now"

My other fav was " he was so scared, he was shitting fairy lights". She insisted that was a well known phrase. I dont think it is, but agree it should be!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From Rocky 2

Investment advisor: "Put your money into Condominiums Rock"

Rocky: "I don't use 'em"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jack&kate and Gentleman ben....can u two get a room please!!

''If brains were dynamite, u wouldnt have enough to blow ur hat off''

Bernard Manning!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From Raging Bull

Robert De Niro "Boy, he's one ugly son of a bitch"

Joe Pescie "What's it matter to you if he's ugly? Are you gonna fight him or fuck him?"

Class

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

During a fencing match...

Julian: Ha! I taught you every you know!

Vince: Yes! but did you teach me everything that YOU know?

Julian looks really confused

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Who's coat is that jacket... I use it everyday!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""What's it matter to you if he's ugly? Are you gonna fight him or fuck him?"

Class "

Sounds like many a swinging party I have frequented

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a quote from my mum or perhaps it wasnt and she pinched it

every dog has its day

and every bitch has two

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on.."

and the difference between an egg and a wank

you can beat an egg but you cant beat a wank

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wanking wins hands down

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"wanking wins hands down "
hands down where

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list..."

love it! Im so nicking that one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose."

lol, I like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on..

and the difference between an egg and a wank

you can beat an egg but you cant beat a wank"

I had phone sex and got an ear infection..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me to Doctor: "When I do this, it hurts"

Doctor: "Don't do it then"

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By *iew OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on..

and the difference between an egg and a wank

you can beat an egg but you cant beat a wank

I had phone sex and got an ear infection.."

You need the condom app

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole."

Was that what the Archbishop of Canterbury said to the Queen?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry for the cut nd paste but this is my favourite ever put down and i wanted to make sure i got it right !!!!

George Bernard Shaw, prior to the opening of one of his plays, sent Winston Churchill a telegram: "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." Churchill, nonplussed (and likely amused), sent a telegram in reply: "Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As God once said..and I think, rightly.............

Margaret Thatcher..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"sorry for the cut nd paste but this is my favourite ever put down and i wanted to make sure i got it right !!!!

George Bernard Shaw, prior to the opening of one of his plays, sent Winston Churchill a telegram: "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." Churchill, nonplussed (and likely amused), sent a telegram in reply: "Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.""

Lady Astor to Churchill. "If you were my husband I would poison your whiskey", Churchill replied "If I was your husband, I would drink it"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"sorry for the cut nd paste but this is my favourite ever put down and i wanted to make sure i got it right !!!!

George Bernard Shaw, prior to the opening of one of his plays, sent Winston Churchill a telegram: "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." Churchill, nonplussed (and likely amused), sent a telegram in reply: "Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.""

Apparently Winston Churchill was well known for scathing put-downs. I remember reading the once about some function he was attending where the hostess took an exception to him and said(Can't remember exact quote, sorry), "If you were my husband, I'd poison your whiskey"

He responded with, "And if you were my wife, I'd drink it"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"sorry for the cut nd paste but this is my favourite ever put down and i wanted to make sure i got it right !!!!

George Bernard Shaw, prior to the opening of one of his plays, sent Winston Churchill a telegram: "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." Churchill, nonplussed (and likely amused), sent a telegram in reply: "Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one."

Lady Astor to Churchill. "If you were my husband I would poison your whiskey", Churchill replied "If I was your husband, I would drink it""

Hahaha, beat me to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

B.Braddock...Winston, you`re d*unk..

Winston Churchill...And madam, you`re ugly. Tomorrow morning, however, I shall be sober...

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"Mushy, no, now fuck off"

Too many to mention.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My mother to shop assistant "do you sell cup hooks.

Assistant to mother "are they those things you hang your cups on"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man who _iews the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.

Muhammad Ali

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By *implymjWoman
over a year ago

rochdale

I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum and I'm all out of bubble gum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Offended lady,,,"I've never been spoken to like that in my life!!!".

Annoyed man,,,"Well i find that hard to believe!!"

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Greenwich Meridian &

The Equator.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You do not have 40 years experience...

You have one year thats 40 years old...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another Mrs Merton quote, to Barbara Windsor.

"That's what I love about you Barbara, you're one of us .... You're like a big film star, but you're still common as muck!"

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Define irony. Bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.

Garland Greene (played by Steve Buscemi) while Sweet Home Alabama plays in background - CON AIR

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