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any funny jokes to cheer me up

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By *eggysally OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

manchester

Currently lay up resting in bed recovering from an op. Snapped my banjo string & not being able to play whilst i recover , well it is rather depressing to be honest.

Someone make me smile x x

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

just watched that film Deja vu.

I'm sure I've seen that before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two TVs went to buy a tv.. hope this cheers you up

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

As I sat outside the crematorium for Eric Bristow I knew it was him going through the furnace.

Can you smell that I said to a friend “ Ahhh Bristow”...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knock knock

Who's there?

Grandad

Shit open the coffin!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I sat outside the crematorium for Eric Bristow I knew it was him going through the furnace.

Can you smell that I said to a friend “ Ahhh Bristow”..."

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail.

I looked round and this bloke shouts, ''That's just for starters!''

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread .......but I looked again and realised it said 'thick cut'

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By *eggysally OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

manchester


"As I sat outside the crematorium for Eric Bristow I knew it was him going through the furnace.

Can you smell that I said to a friend “ Ahhh Bristow”..."

Haha that is a funny joke xx

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By *eggysally OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

manchester


"I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail.

I looked round and this bloke shouts, ''That's just for starters!''"

Just looking at your pictures has cheered me up. What a body & them legs x x

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester


"I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail.

I looked round and this bloke shouts, ''That's just for starters!''

Just looking at your pictures has cheered me up. What a body & them legs x x"

Thank you

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

The Pharmacy owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"

The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

"You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

"Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man with a paper bag on his head?

Russell

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Two Italian guys get onto a bus.

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is pricked when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

A man took a dump in the elevator

He later said he was taking this shit to a whole new level

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I know a prostitute who you pay by the inch... I can't afford her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ferrari pit stop - An ill-judged splash and dash, in which a gentleman leaves the bogs with his cock still hanging out and spilling fuel along the floor.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know a prostitute who you pay by the inch... I can't afford her "

I don’t get this one

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"I know a prostitute who you pay by the inch... I can't afford her

I don’t get this one "

You pay her by every inch of penis

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By *urvywelshCouple
over a year ago

Everywhere and nowhere baby


"A man took a dump in the elevator

He later said he was taking this shit to a whole new level "

It's wrong on every level.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some theiving git has stole my front gate!

I dare not call the police in case the take offence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watched a documentary about ship building yesterday

Riveting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

One will see you later and one will see you in a while.

I'll get me coat

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By *oachman 9CoolMan
over a year ago

derby

Did you hear about the woman on here who Ate 3 dates a day for 12 days, they all came to a sticky finish..

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By *oydivision69Man
over a year ago

Birkenhead

Ill advised comments to police officers.

Don't bother with those handcuffs officer. Me and your wife have already established that they don't fit.

Step out of the vehicle sir.

I'm too d*unk you get in.

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By *lueWonderMan
over a year ago

Preston.....ish

Had a massive roll of bubble wrap delivered to work. I asked my boss what I should do with it? Just pop it over there in the corner he said. Four hours it took me!

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By *ustJosh92Man
over a year ago

St Ives

Why did the BDSM lover leave her job? She was too tied up in her private life.

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By *lueWonderMan
over a year ago

Preston.....ish

I've joined my local reggae band, I'm not very musical so they have given me the triangle to play... I just stand at the back and ting

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