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Piles

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By *ebjonnson OP   Man
over a year ago

Maldon

Chalfonts, farmers - call them what you will. We all joke about piles but I guess from time to time we all suffer. I have a mild case right now which I think is subsiding. Hope so as I have a date weekend coming up. My bum’s not on the menu in this instance although she may be tempted to explore round there with a finger while fucking.

Do I tell her in advance ? It seems I get them once every two or three years. (Piles not a date)

Not seen this topic in the forum before

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I guess it depends how obvious they are - but might be best to at least tell her that "any" kind of anal play is off the menu

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say you don't feel like anal play at the moment. XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask her if she wouldn't mind rimming you with ice cubes in her mouth.

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By *ebjonnson OP   Man
over a year ago

Maldon


"Ask her if she wouldn't mind rimming you with ice cubes in her mouth. "

Good idea - speaking from experience?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd tell her that you don't fancy anal play.

I had them when I was pregnant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/04/18 11:40:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ask her if she wouldn't mind rimming you with ice cubes in her mouth.

Good idea - speaking from experience?"

I wish. I might ask him next time he fucks my arse to freeze his cock first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Chalfonts, farmers - call them what you will. We all joke about piles but I guess from time to time we all suffer. I have a mild case right now which I think is subsiding. Hope so as I have a date weekend coming up. My bum’s not on the menu in this instance although she may be tempted to explore round there with a finger while fucking.

Do I tell her in advance ? It seems I get them once every two or three years. (Piles not a date)

Not seen this topic in the forum before"

Stop being so y. The best way to cure Emma Roids is to stretch them until they pop. You need something bigger than a finger rammed up there.

Go buy the biggest toy in the shop and take it on your date. Ask her if she could help you out,,,,,for medicinal purposes,of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Chalfonts, farmers - call them what you will. We all joke about piles but I guess from time to time we all suffer. I have a mild case right now which I think is subsiding. Hope so as I have a date weekend coming up. My bum’s not on the menu in this instance although she may be tempted to explore round there with a finger while fucking.

Do I tell her in advance ? It seems I get them once every two or three years. (Piles not a date)

Not seen this topic in the forum before

Stop being so y. The best way to cure Emma Roids is to stretch them until they pop. You need something bigger than a finger rammed up there.

Go buy the biggest toy in the shop and take it on your date. Ask her if she could help you out,,,,,for medicinal purposes,of course. "

I tried to type we*dy but that's not allowed,,,so I'll change it to Wimpy.

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By *Gloryhole.West.LondonMan
over a year ago

West London

I was in bed with this guy giving him head, my wandering finger getting closer when he said "piles". Immediate turn-off, so find a way before meeting to exclude anal play without exception.

I had the operation by the way as the bleeding in mine was getting bad. During the following days I endured the worst pain of my life but I haven't looked back ever since, two years ago. Speak to your doctor.

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By *ebjonnson OP   Man
over a year ago

Maldon


"Chalfonts, farmers - call them what you will. We all joke about piles but I guess from time to time we all suffer. I have a mild case right now which I think is subsiding. Hope so as I have a date weekend coming up. My bum’s not on the menu in this instance although she may be tempted to explore round there with a finger while fucking.

Do I tell her in advance ? It seems I get them once every two or three years. (Piles not a date)

Not seen this topic in the forum before

Stop being so y. The best way to cure Emma Roids is to stretch them until they pop. You need something bigger than a finger rammed up there.

Go buy the biggest toy in the shop and take it on your date. Ask her if she could help you out,,,,,for medicinal purposes,of course. "

Ouch!

Now I know why this subject has not been aired here before and we suffer in silence.

Mine aren’t that bad, a little discomfort, certainly no bleeding and as I said, seem to be getting better.

It’s early days with my ‘date’ , and while her fingers have been close, not that close! she is a nurse and pretty unshockable though-so I may just mention it in advance..

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Germaloids ointment! Boots!

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Tell her straight any arse banditry is off the cards as you haven’t healed up from your last session. She will be sure to understand

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By *ebjonnson OP   Man
over a year ago

Maldon


"Germaloids ointment! Boots!"

But does it work and how quickly?

At about 6pm tomorrow, traffic permitting, we will be in bed together.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London


"Emma Roids "

Excellent drag queen name

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had them on and off since I had my daughter.

Literally a pain in the arse. I usually use preparation h as it's good stuff.

Part of the reason I won't do anal.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I should hope to god you are going to tell her. Imagine if the poor fucker sticks her tongue up there

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I should hope to god you are going to tell her. Imagine if the poor fucker sticks her tongue up there"
oh dear

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By *aenMan
over a year ago

Here and There


"Germaloids ointment! Boots!"

I know someone who mistook Deep Heat for his Germaloid cream

Is there an arse on fire emoji?

His wife took great pleasure in telling anyone and everyone all about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drop the hint by asking her to use Anusol as lubricant if she's going to slip a finger up your bum

D

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By *ebjonnson OP   Man
over a year ago

Maldon


"Drop the hint by asking her to use Anusol as lubricant if she's going to slip a finger up your bum

D "

Thanks for the tip but not quite how I pictured the moment when she brings my arse into play.

If indeed she ever will. Still quite early in the relationship and so still testing each other out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Germaloids ointment! Boots!

But does it work and how quickly?

At about 6pm tomorrow, traffic permitting, we will be in bed together."

You're driving there??? Do you have a ring cushion? I think you jhave to inform DVLA of any medical condition that affects your ability to concentrate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Drop the hint by asking her to use Anusol as lubricant if she's going to slip a finger up your bum

D

Thanks for the tip but not quite how I pictured the moment when she brings my arse into play.

If indeed she ever will. Still quite early in the relationship and so still testing each other out."

Then you have only two choices. Either try keep the old farmers out of site or take the plunge and bully the little buggers back to where they come from! Either way it's going to be a severe pain in the arse!

Good luck

D

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Make sure she files her nails beforehand.

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By *ebjonnson OP   Man
over a year ago

Maldon


"Germaloids ointment! Boots!

But does it work and how quickly?

At about 6pm tomorrow, traffic permitting, we will be in bed together.

You're driving there??? Do you have a ring cushion? I think you jhave to inform DVLA of any medical condition that affects your ability to concentrate."

Oh now come on. Have you any idea what a huge step it was to reveal to all you lovely Fabbers that I’m suffering with a dose of Farmers? No jokes please. Now I know why we all keep quiet and suffer in silence.

Actually, it’s a three hour drive so you have me worried now.

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By *ebjonnson OP   Man
over a year ago

Maldon

Happy to say I think I’m making a good recovery so all should be well for tomorrow.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"Germaloids ointment! Boots!

But does it work and how quickly?

At about 6pm tomorrow, traffic permitting, we will be in bed together."

It’s not an overnight cure but it will certainly reduce them ... and with regular use will certainly help

{anyone would think this is a ‘from experience’ recommendation - it’s not! }

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Have you tried Alum?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"Have you tried Alum?"

Are they a Heavy Rock band from Sutton Coldfield?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hemeroids are no fun at all, and I get them a lot as I’m on my feet all day. One thing I don’t even think about when suffering with them is Sex. Honestly, I just can’t get the horn with a badly sore bum...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sympathise. When mine started bleeding my doctor prescribed Scheriproct ointment. The bleeding has stopped and no discomfort now.

Thanks for having the courage to be honest about a condition which is quite common. Hope things will improve .

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